o to chnh sa trong vit vn bn ting anh

Kt hp vit vn bn chnh xc" v "r rng

Kha Thi c
i hc Y Dc TP H Ch Minh Gim c trung tm vit bo khoa hc bng ting
Anh

http://www.chineseowl.idv.tw

Tiu s c nhn
Kha Thi c (Ted Knoy) dy vit ting Anh k
thut trong cc trng i hc i Loan hn hai
mi nm. ng l tc gi ca mi bn cun sch
v vit ting Anh k thut v chuyn nghip. ng
thnh lp mt trung tm vit ting Anh ti trng i
hc Y Yunpei ng thi cng l ging vin ton thi
gian ti trng. ng chnh sa trn 55,000 bi vit
cho vic ng bo nghin cu khoa hc t nm
1989. ng l cng nh bin tp ting anh cho mt s
tp ch v khoa hc, k thut v y hc ca i Loan.

H i Thao Vit Ting Anh Ky Thu t va Xut Ban

Hoc Thu t tai Vi t Nam, thang 4, 2014

i hc Lc Hng (01-10/ 04)

i Hc Thng Mi H Ni (15-16/04)
i Hc Quc Gia H Ni (17/04)
i Hc Hng Hi Vit Nam (18-20/04)
i Hc Dn Lp Hi Phong (21-26/04)
i hc Y Hi Phong (25/04)

I. Chnh sa mt cach chnh xac

(Editing for conciseness)
Cc chuyn gia thng rt bn rn khng
c thi gian c ti liu bo co di, do
vy rt nhiu cc bi bo k thut thng b
t chi hoc tr hon, bi v h khng c
kh nng th hin tt tng bi vit mt
cch
ngn
gn.
www.chineseowl.idv.tw/html/Exercise/ex01.htm

Chnh sa mt cach chnh xac

(Editing for conciseness)
A. S dng thng xuyn th ch ng
(Use active voice frequently)
B. S dng ng t thay v danh t
(Use verbs instead of nouns)
C. a ra cc ng t c ngha mnh
(Create strong verbs)
D. Trnh s dng qu nhiu "It" v "There" u cu
(Avoid overusing sentences that begin with It and There)
E. Loi b s trng lp v cm t ng khng cn thit
(Delete Redundant and Needless Phrases)

II. Chnh sa cho r rang

(Editing for clarity)
Ngi vit vn bn v khoa hc thng vit
khng suy ngh, tt nhin, dn ti s hiu
lm ca c gi, do vit mt cch r rng
cng tr nn quan trng, ngoi vic vit bi
bo mt cch chnh xc, con lm cho
ngi c khng hiu sai nhng ngha m
bn
mun

cp.
www.chineseowl.idv.tw/html/Exercise/Clarity/ex01a.htm

Chnh sa cho r rang

(Editing for clarity)
A. m bo s ph hp cch dng gia ch ng v ng t
(Ensure subject and verb agreement)
B. m bo vic s dng cc i t phi r rng v ng ngha
(Ensure that pronoun references are clear in meaning)
C. Cu trc cu u phi c s nht qun
(Create sentences parallel in structure and meaning)
D. Loi b cc vn v chnh sa
(Eliminate modifier problems)

Chnh sa cho r rang

(Editing for clarity
E. Kim tra cc li v thiu st bt cn v so snh vi ln u
(Double check for faulty comparisons and omissions)
F. Trnh s thay i khng cn thit trong mt cu.
(Avoid unnecessary shifts in a sentence)
G. Kt hp "vit chnh xc" v "vit r rng
(Combine conciseness and clarity)

Chnh sa mt cach chnh xac

(Editing for conciseness)
Cc chuyn gia thng rt bn rn khng
c thi gian c ti liu bo co di, do
vy rt nhiu cc bi bo k thut thng b
t chi hoc tr hon, bi v h khng c
kh nng th hin tt tng bi vit mt
cch ngn gn.

A. S dng thng xuyn th ch ng

(Use active voice frequently)

Lm th no s dng t t nht m vn
din t tng ca mt ngi vit mt cch
hon chnh l mt thch thc ln, nhng
y l mt b mt, l, vic s dng
thng xuyn cc c php th ch ng.
www.chineseowl.idv.tw/html/Exercise/ex04.htm

V d
Nguyn mu
As the earth is pulled by both the gravitational
forces of the sun and the moon, part of the ocean
water will rise.
Sa i
A portion of the ocean water rises as the
gravitational forces of the sun and the moon pull
the earth.

V d
nguyn mu
As advanced countries around the world endeavor for
higher accuracy of geodesy, the role of OTL should
definitely be taken into account when surveying in
Taiwan.
sa i
Surveying in Taiwan should consider the role of OTL,
especially given the global endeavor for higher accuracy
in geodesy.

V d
nguyn mu
The anthropogenic methane can be reduced by the rising
environmental consciousness and effective actions taken by
the international societies. But emission of the natural
methane, the GEM in particular, is beyond human control.
sa i
Although growing environmental awareness and effective
global initiatives can reduce anthropogenic methane levels,
natural methane emissions, especially GEM, remain beyond
human control.

B. S dng ng t thay v danh t

(Use verbs instead of nouns)
L do cho s rm r ca cu cng c th do
vic s dng danh t qu thng xuyn, thng
thng danh t ny do ng chuyn i thnh,
v kt qu l khin cho ng t cng yu hn.
www.chineseowl.idv.tw/html/Exercise/ex08.htm

V d
nguyn mu
Assessment of a students willingness to
study by an instructor is possible through
the closely examination of his or her
academic performance.
sa i
An instructor can assess students
willingness by closely examining their
academic performance.

V d
nguyn mu
Solution of environmental problems is
heavily dependent on responsiveness of the
local community to governmental legislation.
sa i
Solving environmental problems heavily
depends on how the local community
responds to governmental legistlation.

V d
nguyn mu
Not only is the variability of the control
factors considered by the proposed
procedure, but implementation of related
tasks is performed by that same procedure.
sa i
In addition to considering the variability of
the control factors, the proposed procedure
implements related tasks.

C. a ra cac ng t c ngha manh

(Create strong verbs)
S dng ng t lm cho tng cu r rng
hn v hiu sut, mt s ng t khng c hiu
qu gii thch hnh ng ca s ng t chng
hn nh "is, are, was, were, has, give, make,
come", cng nh "take" l nhng v d thuc v
th loi ny.
Tc gi nn s dng ng t mnh m ch
mt
hnh
vi
r
rng.

www.chineseowl.idv.tw/html/Exercise/ex12.htm

V d
nguyn mu
For production tardiness incurred in the
furnace area, the following process will also be
delayed. Moreover, the production tardiness
will postpone the time to market of products.
sa i
Production tardiness in the furnace area delays
not only the subsequent process, but also time
to market delivery of products.

V d
nguyn mu
Computational simplicity of the linear
estimation methods compared with the MLE
methods is apparent.
sa i
Linear estimation methods appear to be
computationally simpler than MLE methods.

D. Tranh s dng qua nhiu "It" va "There" u cu

(Avoid overusing sentences that begin with It and
There)

S dng "It" v "There" u cu d

dng lm cho ngn ng ca bi vit tr
ln phc tp v khng r rng.
Tr khi "It" l mt thut ng c th c
cp trong cu trn, Nu khng phi
trnh hon ton s dng "It is" trong cu.
www.chineseowl.idv.tw/html/Exercise/ex16.htm

V d
nguyn mu
There is a significant difference in terms of efficiency
between the proposed scheme and conventional
methods.
sa i
The proposed scheme and conventional methods
significantly differ in efficiency.

V d
nguyn mu
It is noticed that few efforts have been made for the assessment
of COS emmision focusing on the specific trips of different
transport modes in the megacities of China.
sa i
Notably, CO2 emissions have seldom been assessed with
respect to specific patterns of various transportation modes in
Chinese megacities.

V d
nguyn mu
It is crucial to develop a hi-speed wireless network system. With high
data rate of wireless network, the goal of watching real-time video
programs can even be reached and we can watch TV programs
everywhere and anytime without taking cables with us.
sa i
Developing a hi-speed wireless network system with a high data rate
could greatly facilitate real-time video transmissions and programming
without conventional constraints of place, time or cables.

E. Loai b s trng lp va cm t ng khng

cn thit
(Delete Redundant and Needless Phrases)

Nhng t lp gy phin nhiu trong cc

vn bn t c th loi b hon ton, hoc
din t mt cch ngn gn hn.
Nu bn khng ch n cc chi tit ca
s thay i ny s lm cho cc cu di
hn.
www.chineseowl.idv.tw/html/Exercise/ex20.htm

V d
nguyn mu
It is a normal practice that private sectors of traditional industry file visitor
information as valuable database for relationship maintenance. However,
the paper-based fail to present systematic and updated data, causing
inefficiency in contacting with these potential customers.
sa i
Private enterprises often enter visitor information into their databases as a
form of customer relations management. However, paper-based
documentation is often unsystematic and inefficient when identifying and
contacting potential customers.

V d
nguyn mu
It was the recommendation of that study that the four measures: setting
fuel efficiency standard for new vehicles, promoting hybrid vehicles,
requirement of low emission vehicle for fleet, and settle vehicle use
limitation in rush hours, should be initiated in Taiwans near future.
sa i
That study recommended four timely measures for Taiwan, i.e.
establishing a fuel efficiency standard for new vehicles, promoting hybrid
vehicles, mandating low emission vehicles for fleets, and limiting
vehicular use during rush hour traffic.

V d
nguyn mu
There is a need to secure franchisees income and economize the use of
corporations operating resource by the franchisor that needs to limit in
specific trade area. But franchisors have not objective fashion to select
the best one when there are two or upward person will join the chain
store.
sa i
A franchiser must limit its number of expanded outlets to secure stable
revenues for existing franchisees and economize its use of corporate
operating resources. However, franchisers lack an objective means of
selecting the most promising franchisee intent on joining the chain store.

Chnh sa cho r rang

(Editing for clarity)
Ngi vit vn bn v khoa hc thng vit
khng suy ngh, tt nhin, dn ti s hiu
lm ca c gi, do vit mt cch r rng
cng tr nn quan trng, ngoi vic vit bi
bo mt cch chnh xc, con lm cho
ngi c khng hiu sai nhng ngha m
bn mun cp.

A. am bao s ph hp cach dng gia ch ng va

ng t
(Ensure subject and verb agreement)

Nu ch ng v ng t khng c s
dng tng thch vi nhau, th khng nhng
gy ra s bi ri ca ngi c m con dn
ti vn logic trong cu.
www.chineseowl.idv.tw/html/Exercise/Clarity/ex04a.htm

V d
nguyn mu
The simulation in which the polymer melt flow ( occurs ,
occur ) in thin cavities ( provides , provide ) accurate
predictions.
sa i
The simulation in which the polymer melt flow ( occurs ,
occur ) in thin cavities ( provides , provide ) accurate
predictions.

V d
nguyn mu
One of the hidden nodes that (was , were ) implemented in
the neural network learning algorithms ( was , were )
extensively studied.
sa i
One of the hidden nodes that (was , were ) implemented in
the neural network learning algorithms ( was , were )
extensively studied.

V d
nguyn mu
Ergonomics ( aim , aims ) to integrate
worker comfort and productivity.
sa i
Ergonomics ( aim , aims ) to integrate
worker comfort and productivity.

B. am bao vic s dng cac ai t phai r rang v ng

ngha
(Ensure that pronoun references are clear in meaning)

Nu ngi hay vt khng c nu ra

mt cch r rng, nht qun dn ti
nhm ln i vi ngi c.
www.chineseowl.idv.tw/html/Exercise/Clarity/ex08a.htm

V d
nguyn mu
The machines can process the family of
parts, ensuring that it reaches full capacity.
sa i
Capable of processing the family of parts,
the machines reach full capacity.

V d
nguyn mu
In previous literature, they do not examine the
feasibility of incorporating PS into SA to develop a
more efficient stochastic optimization approach when
the two variables are constant.
sa i
Previous literature does not examine the feasibility of
incorporating PS into SA to develop a more efficient
stochastic optimization approach when the two
variables are constant.

V d
nguyn mu
The department chairman told the research
assistant that she needed to perform the
simulations if the experiment fails.
sa i
The department chairman told the research
assistant, "You need to perform the simulations if
the experiment fails.

C. Cu trc cu u phai c s nht quan

(Create sentences parallel in structure and
meaning)

Vn bn ting Anh trong khoa hc v

cng ngh, xy dng cu phi c s
nht qun.
www.chineseowl.idv.tw/html/Exercise/Clarity/ex12a.htm

V d
nguyn mu
Engineers select an appropriate variable and the
transformed observations are treated as though
they are normally distributed with a constant
variance.
sa i
Engineers select an appropriate variable and
treat the transformed observations as though
they are normally distributed with a constant
variance.

V d
nguyn mu
The conventional approach is cumbersome,
complicated and wastes too much time.
sa i
The conventional approach is cumbersome,
complicated and time consuming.

D. Loai b cac vn v chnh sa

(Eliminate modifier problems)

Cc thut ng sa i cn phi c
t bn cnh cc t m bn mun sa
i.
www.chineseowl.idv.tw/html/Exercise/Clarity/ex16a.htm

V d
nguyn mu
To succeed in the laboratory, diligence is
essential owing to that many experiments
are necessary.
sa i
To succeed in the laboratory, the researcher
must be diligent owing to that many
experiments are necessary.

V d
nguyn mu
Before submitting a graduate school
application, the institution should be
selected.
sa i
Before a student submits a graduate school
application, the institution should be
selected.

V d
nguyn mu
While conducting an experiment, the timer
went off and Jeff took the sample from the
oven.
sa i
While Jeff was conducting an experiment,
the timer went off and he took the sample
from the oven.

E. Kim tra cac li va thiu st bt cn va so sanh vi

ln u
(Double check for faulty comparisons and omissions)

Logic khng hp l v so snh khng

c xem xt cn thn s gy ra s hiu
m h hn trong cu, v cn thn khng

v
tnh
b
st
mt
t.
www.chineseowl.idv.tw/html/Exercise/Clarity/ex20a.htm

V d
nguyn mu
Our algorithm is more accurate with respect
to computational time.
sa i
Our algorithm is more accurate than
conventional ones with respect to
computational time.

V d
nguyn mu
The research department's productivity is
higher than the administrative division.
sa i
The research department's productivity is
higher than that of the administrative
division.

V d
nguyn mu
The trade school's dropout rate is lower than
the university.
sa i
The trade school's dropout rate is lower than
that of the university.

F. Tranh s thay i khng cn thit

trong mt cu.
(Avoid unnecessary shifts in a sentence)

www.chineseowl.idv.tw/html/Exercise/Clarity/ex24a.htm

V d
nguyn mu
The graduate student recorded the data and
then writes a summary report.
sa i
The graduate student recorded the data and
then wrote a summary report.

V d
nguyn mu
The laboratory manager arranged the
meeting and the discussion was led by him.
sa i
The laboratory manager arranged the
meeting and led the discussion.

V d
nguyn mu
The speaker commented on the importance
of participating in international events and
then the meeting was adjourned by him.
sa i
The speaker commented on the importance
of participating in international events and
then adjourned the meeting.

G. Kt hp "vit chnh xac" va "vit r

rang
(Combine conciseness and clarity)
Phn 4- Vit ting anh k thut "Cng ngh o to chnh s
vit ting anh k thut" nhn mnh v vic vit vn bn chnh
xc, c th l, lm th no loi b cc li nh dng vn bn,
do , ca tc gi s r rng hn. Cc bi tp sau y gip
bn xem li tng qut c th hiu cch vit vn bn chnh
xc.
Lm

dng

qu

nhiu

thut

ng

cng

nh

gii

www.chineseowl.idv.tw/html/Exercise/Clarity/ex27a.htm

t.

V d
nguyn mu
The message is received by the user that
subscription to the on-line service must be
made by the account holder.
sa i
The user receives the message that the account
holder must subscribe to the on-line service.

V d
nguyn mu
The production manager receives
information from headquarters that
evaluation of the finished products must be
made by the quality inspector.
sa i
Headquarters informs the production
manager that the quality inspector must
evaluate the finished products.

V d
nguyn mu
There is no need for implementation of the
environmental awareness program to be the
sole responsibility of the organizing
committee.
sa i
The organizing committee does not need to
be solely responsible for implementing the
environmental awareness program.

Ti liu tham kho

Knoy, T (1999) Editing Workbook for
Chinese Technical Writers. Taipei: Yang
Chih Publishing
www.chineseowl.idv.tw/html/b4.htm
Knoy, T (2000) Advanced Copyediting
Practice for Chinese Technical Writers.
Taipei: Yang Chih Publishing
www.chineseowl.idv.tw/html/b5.htm

Further details can be found at

http://www.chineseowl.idv.tw