Dear Therapist: My Sister Is Still Envious That I Was Better Than Her as a Kid

Editor’s Note: Every Wednesday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at dear.therapist@theatlantic.com.

Dear Therapist,

My younger sister and I have always had a volatile relationship. We didn’t get along at all in junior high and high school, but after I went away to college and subsequently moved out of state, our relationship improved and we grew closer. A lot of her animosity towards me (I think) stems from my success in academics and athletics—I was outstanding in both, and while she was very good, I cast a very long shadow.

A few years ago, my husband and I moved back to the city I grew up in, while she and her husband live in a suburb about 45 minutes away. Due to convenience, we would see family that live nearby more than we