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    A Friend of the Family
    A Friend of the Family
    A Friend of the Family
    Audiobook9 hours

    A Friend of the Family

    Written by Lauren Grodstein

    Narrated by Rick Adamson

    3.5/5

    ()

    About this audiobook

    Pete Dizinoff has spent years working toward a life that would be, by all measures, deemed successful. A skilled internist, he's built a thriving practice in suburban New Jersey. He has a devoted wife, a network of close friends, and an impressive house, and most important, he has a son, Alec, on whom he's pinned all his hopes. Pete has afforded Alec every opportunity, bailed him out of close calls with the law, and even ensured his acceptance into a good college. But Pete never counted on the wild card: Laura, his best friend's daughter-ten years older than Alec, irresistibly beautiful, with a past so shocking that it's never spoken of. When Laura sets her sights on Alec, Pete sees his plans for his son not just unraveling but being destroyed completely. Believing he has only the best of intentions, he sets out to derail this romance and rescue his son. He could never have foreseen how his whole world would shatter in the process.Lauren Grodstein delivers a riveting story in the tradition of The Ice Storm,American Beauty, and Little Children, charting a father's fall from grace as he struggles to save his family, his reputation, and himself.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherHighbridge Company
    Release dateNov 10, 2009
    ISBN9781598879445
    A Friend of the Family
    Author

    Lauren Grodstein

    Lauren Grodstein is the author of the collection The Best of Animals and a novel, Reproduction Is the Flaw of Love, which was both a Breakout Book selection for Amazon.com and a Borders Original Voices pick. Her work has been translated into German, Italian and French. She teaches creative writing at Rutgers University in Camden.

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    Reviews for A Friend of the Family

    3.5/5

    32 ratings22 reviews

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    • 4/5
      Really an interesting book to read---I liked the main character immediately and the layers and interrelationships of the different families were beautifully written. I found a little confusion because of the jumping around in the time line and although it was probably exactly what the author was trying to present in terms of Peter's, the main character, own thoughts as he tried to work through his confusions---it wound up making me say, "oops" every now and then when I realized we had suddenly gone to a different period of time---and then back again with no warning.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 4/5
      I liked this book, which I would characterize as a "flaming family meltdown". The personal and professional unraveling of the dad was particularly well done. All of the passages concerning his medical practice were correct, which as a nurse, I always respect. It's a tough thing, getting to middle age and finding out you're not the person you thought you were or hoped to be. I guess I have more sympathy for this guy that most of the other reviewers.
    • 4/5
      I found this book a quick, compelling read. Of course the fact that I am a father with two college age kids whose choices in relationships has always seemed lacking to me may have increased my interest level. That part of the story – a father wanting too much for his son – is something very universal. In this tale, a north Jersey internist with a successful practice, a loving wife and a 20 year old son who has recently dropped out of college narrates the story of his inability to cope with the idea that his son is in love with his best friend’s daughter. This is compounded by the knowledge that she is 10 years older and has returned to the family home after being committed for the abortion and possible homicide of her baby when she was 16 years old. Dr Peter Dizinoff is a flawed parent; maybe we all are. I also found both interesting and sometimes annoying the way that we knew the father has screwed up, (he is living above the garage, has lost his practice and may soon be divorced) but were left only with hints until the very end of the tale. His lament about his son is one I have also chanted: “Why can’t he just enroll in school, date someone his own age, get a goddamn degree, get a job, get a life? “ Actually maybe the best thing about reading this book is that he makes my own kids look pretty good, and me look less like a maniac.
    • 3/5
      Brief Description: Peter Dizinoff is a successful doctor in ritzy little New Jersey town. However, Pete’s life is starting to fall apart and, as he struggles to make things right, he only succeeds in making them worse. His beloved only son Alec is living at home after dropping out of college and has entered into a relationship with a “friend of the family”—the oldest daughter of Pete’s best friends. Aside from being older than Alec, the girl, Laura, has a past that Pete can’t come to terms with. His wife Elaine doesn’t understand why Pete can’t accept Alec’s choices or stop punishing Laura for her past. Pete’s friendship with Laura’s parents (who happen to be his oldest and closest friends) is strained and threatened as a result of all this. In addition, Pete’s professional life is under fire when a patient’s family threatens to sue him for malpractice. Will Pete be the instrument of his own doom or he can save himself and his family from ruin?My Thoughts: ACK. I really didn’t like Pete at all. In fact, I thought he was a bit of a stubborn and jerky jackass who caused most of his problems and then couldn’t fess up when things started going wrong. For that reason, I ended up not really liking the book. To be honest, I didn’t care what happened to Pete and thought that Grodstein was juggling so many different plot points that they started to unravel a bit and none felt resolved satisfactorily. Although I finished the book, I didn’t really like it all that much and was happy to be done.
    • 5/5
      Peter and Elaine Dizinoff have been friends with Joe and Iris Stern since college. Living the perfect life in a wealthy New Jersey neighborhood, their children have grown up together and they have shared everything. However, sometimes the wrong decisions can be made for the right reasons...Pete has spent his whole life working towards building an adulthood that would be, by all measures, judged successful. And in nearly every respect, he has accomplished just that: a skilled and intuitive internist with a loyal following of patients, Pete has built a thriving medical practice in Round Hill, New Jersey. He has a loving and devoted wife in Elaine; a network of close friends, a comfortable suburban status, and an impressive house with a good view from the porch.Pete and Elaine have only one child, and Pete has pinned all his hopes on his son Alec. Pete only wants the best for Alec, and to that end, he and Elaine have done everything within their power to make his life successful. They've afforded him every opportunity, bailed him out of close calls with the law, and, despite Alec's lack of interest, have even managed to get him accepted into a good college.But Pete never counted on the wild card: Laura, Joe and Iris Stern's daughter. Ten years older than Alec, irresistibly beautiful, with a history so shocking that it's never spoken of, Laura sets her sights on Alec, who falls under her spell. And with that, Pete sees his dreams for his son not only unraveling but completely destroyed. With the belief that he has only the best intentions at heart, he sets out to derail the romance. But Pete could never have foreseen how, in the process, he might shatter his whole life and devastate his entire family.I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book! It was a gripping plot that was absolutely believable to me. Quite a book! I give this book an A+! and have put Lauren Grodstein's other books on my Wish List.
    • 2/5
      Sloggy, slow and from a perspective I could not get into. That being said, the plot had potential and I would venture to say others will find it great. For me the book just fell short with the characters. Personally, I couldn't find my way into any of them. I even found myself wanting to slap the narrator around for being such an idiot. In the end, I found myself reading quickly, just to "be done with it". Definitely not why I normally read quickly.
    • 4/5
      A moneyed suburban family has already fallen apart at the start of this novel, although what exactly caused this situation is a mystery solved only in the last few chapters. However, the early inclusion of a particularly gruesome act of presumed infanticide establishes that it is likely to be something more serious than a spot of adultery. A gripping and gut-wrenching drama about trusting and forgiving your closest friends and family...or not, as the case may be.
    • 5/5
      Lauren Grodstein's novel A FRIEND OF THE FAMILY is a compelling read. My adult 30-something daughter recommended the book, and, since she is a fan of the ubiquitous 'chick lit' genre, I wasn't expecting to like the book, but it grabbed me and held on 'til I got to its somewhat surprising but not unrealistic conclusion. This young woman is a VERY good writer.Other reviewers argued over whether protagonist/narrator Dr Pete Dizinoff was an admirable or likable character. I think that is beside the point. The point is that Dr Pete is a very human, and therefore fallible, sort of guy. I understood him, and I empathized with him. When you consider that a young woman like Grodstein got so completely inside the head of a fifty-something year-old male - and made him so believably real in the bargain - then you will get some idea of what a talented writer Lauren Grodstein really is. And she got all the smaller details of Dr Pete's earlier life right too, his childhood, his relationship with his father and brother, the college and med school years, his coming of age in regard to sex and women, those inchoate yearnings and unfulfilled longings, that years-long crush on his best friend's wife. My God, there's some good writing here!Grodstein's sense of pacing and suspense and her use of flashbacks and framing is also impeccable. And the plotline itself has a sense of originality about it, even though it's not necessarily a new story.Under Grodstein's hands, Pete Dizinoff, while he may not be a completely admirable character, becomes thoroughly real, human - Everyman. There are some very disturbing, shocking things in this book, but there's something unique about the way they are presented. Low-key, deftly, subtly, slowly revealed. I will say it again. This is a very good book by a very talented young writer. Bravo, Ms Grodstein.
    • 2/5
      Did not enjoy. Ending was a real let down. Pete was a coward who never acknowledged that he didn't love his wife, secretly lusted after his best friend's wife, indulged his son, Alex and was then dismayed when Alex didn't turn out like he wanted. Pete became a sad lonely coward hiding in his garage apartment when it all unraveled. He was a terrible friend, ineffective father and pathetic husband. The whole malpractice storyline was just more self pity. I felt that the structure of the book merely prolonged the revelation that Pete was a wimp. Unable to convince anyone of his innocence as a Dr. or of Laura's accusations. Just silly.
    • 4/5
      Grodstein (Reproduction Is the Flaw of Love) traces a suburban crisis and gives especially perceptive attention to the father-son bond. Pete Dizinoff has it pretty good-an internist with a successful practice, loving wife, nice house in a safe New Jersey suburb and his best friend living close by-but there’s some nasty muck beneath the surface. Some years back, Laura, the daughter of Pete’s best friend, Joe, was suspected of murdering her baby upon birth. Now in her early 30s, Laura’s returned to town after several years of leisurely work and travel and is seducing Pete’s college dropout son, Alec, who is also back in town, pursuing the life of a painter in his parents’ garage. Laura does not fit into Pete’s idea of what’s best for his son, but when Pete intervenes, things spin wildly out of control. Summary BPLIs it a bad thing that I totally empathize with Pete? Sure, his fatherly love crosses a few boundaries—writing college entrance essays for his son—but what parent would want their drifting,20 something son in a romantic relationship with a drifting,30 something woman who, in her teens, killed her baby at birth? I am still not quite sure why the author threw this curve ball…to retain sympathy for the father? When you’re in Pete’s head, it all makes sense: his mission is to keep Alec safe until he finds his path. The mother’s laissez faire attitude towards her son makes her maternal love appear anemic. 8 out of 10 Recommended for fans of riveting psychological fiction.
    • 3/5
      Peter, a successful doctor in middle-age, runs into two serious problems almost simultaneously: his son drops out of college to become a painter, and he is charged with malpractice when he fails to properly diagnose a fatal illness in a patient. Faced with the censure of his neighbors, Peter clearly sees the parallel to how he treated his best friend Joe when Joe’s daughter Laura had her own very public troubles.

      Laura’s problem was more dramatic than Peter or Alec’s. As a teenager in high school, she got pregnant, carried the baby for six months, then delivered in a bathroom stall at the local public library. Before the baby had taken its first breath, Laura killed it by breaking its skull over her knee.

      Peter, appalled by Laura’s crime, was unable to be the supportive friend that Joe needed during Laura’s trial. More than a decade has passed since Laura killed her child, yet Peter carries a lingering anger because he could never fully express how appalled he was by Laura’s crime, and also deep guilt for having failed in his duties as a friend.

      The situation gets worse when Alec (only 21) is wrapped up in a romantic relationship with Laura (who is 30 now). When Alec threatens to run away to Paris with Laura, Peter finds all his old feelings about Laura coming back in full force, combined now with panic and fear about his son’s future. By confronting Laura, he manages to end the threat she poses to his son. However, in the process he damages his marriage, ruins his relationship with his oldest friends, and drives his son away.

      Like many recent novels about family secrets, this one waits until the very end to reveal the details of what Peter did to bring on the malpractice suit, and the full story of what exactly happened when Laura killed her baby. The broad outlines of these events are clear from early on. The issues that Peter faces, of strained relationships with his friends, guilt about his work, and anxiety over his son’s future, will speak to many people who find themselves in the same situation. The murky morals and tough decisions are real and compelling, but to me the story was ordinary.
    • 4/5
      A wonderful little novel about the challenges parents face in preparing their children to fly on their own. The suburban characters, except for their Judaism, could be stand-ins for most highly educated Americans today. In all probability, the parents will do better economically than their children, and the central characters, a pair of mothers and fathers, seek to come to terms with that fact, as well as the stresses of enduring marriages. The dialogue, both internal and external is natural and on-target. The lesson seems to be that no matter how carefully people plan for a smooth, bland life, serious challenges pop up to prevent the unthinking enjoyment of garden parties and champagne cocktails. Only quibble is that the book focuses exclusively on the upper middle class.
    • 5/5
      Holy shit. This book was bananas. B&N had this as their deal of the day last week, and I bought it on a whim, thinking I could eat the 1.99$ if it turned out to be horrible. Jesus, was I wrong.

      I started this book this afternoon, in a moment of sheer boredom. I've been in such a reading rut lately, and I keep picking up and putting down books like its my job. This one hooked me from the first page, and I had to stay up late to finish it.

      I had no idea what to expect going into this novel, so I'm not even going to discuss the plot, as it was incredible to have it unfold before my eyes, but I will say that it was thrilling and heart wrenching and horrible and fascinating. I couldn't put it down. I've seen some reviews calling it an American Classic and I can't help but agree. 4.5 stars.
    • 2/5
      If the author's intent was to make you despise the father and son, she did a good job for me! It was hard to continue reading because there would be random conversations or incidences thrown in that would thrown me off.But I continued on as was disappointed in the ending.
    • 2/5
      After a while I just couldn't read this anymore. The main character was so black and white, so unforgiving, portrayed with no depth; and the writing kept devolving into pointless conversations between people that did nothing to advance the plot or mine their characters - I just had to skim to the end, which was very unsatisfying and unrealistic.
    • 5/5
      Pete Dizinoff has a good life. He's a successful physician, an internist. He has a lovely wife, Elaine. He only has one child, Alec, who is 21, but he has high hopes for Alec and Alec's future. Also playing a big role in his life are his best friends, Joe and Iris Stern. The two couples have been friends since college. The Sterns have four children. The oldest, Laura, is 30 and has just returned to town after being gone for 12 years. The reason for her absence for those 12 years is the catalyst for the tragedies that follow that tear the families apart. Gripping read with some very interesting themes regarding parenting, mental illness, ego. Highly recommended to those who like their fiction dark.
    • 5/5
      I absolutely loved this book. It's a struggle for every parent -- how far should you intervene in your children's lives, especially when you fear they're making choices that will destroy their futures. The central character, Dr. Pete, is a family practice doctor with a son who dropped out of college to pursue a career as an artist and who then becomes involved with the 30-year-old daughter of Dr. Pete's best friend, who as teenager killed her prematurely delivered baby in a bathroom stall. And by the way, Dr. Pete has also never gotten over the crush he's had on his best friend's wife since they all met in college. To make matters worse, he's facing a medical malpractice suit because a young woman under his care died. That's quite a dramatic stew -- and Grodstein explores it all with wonderful sophistication and not the least bit of melodrama. She does an amazing job examining all the issues -- whether someone who's made a horrible mistake can ever redeem their lives and how much parents should interfere in their children's lives without running the risk of just making everything worse. I loved her earlier novel, Reproduction is the Flaw of Love (Delta Fiction), which is also told from a man's perspective. She does a great job of getting inside men's heads. (There was only minor detail she got wrong, which I think most men would know. While shooting around a basketball, Dr. Pete -- who I think is supposed to be about 6 feet 2 -- dunks. That's not something most guys of that height, and especially those in their early 50s as Dr. Pete is, could do.)
    • 4/5
      (Reprinted from the Chicago Center for Literature and Photography [cclapcenter.com]. I am the original author of this essay, as well as the owner of CCLaP; it is not being reprinted illegally.)All through the first half of reading Lauren Grodstein's latest novel, the out-and-out melodrama A Friend of the Family, I found myself disliking the book more and more, because of finding the main character so thoroughly despicable -- he's basically one of those small-minded, judgmental Tea Party douchebags, the kind of self-absorbed prick who defines all the people around him exclusively in terms of how their behavior will affect his own social standing (he insists that his son attend a prestigious four-year college, for example, literally so he can wear sweats from that school to the gym as an excuse to brag to people about how his son goes there), who unsurprisingly starts having more and more problems with the idea of this undergraduate son dating his best friend's black-sheep daughter, eight years his senior and now an artsy hippie drifter, after causing a scandal in high school by delivering a baby in secret in a public bathroom, then killing it and hiding the corpse in the trash. But then finally about halfway through I experienced an important realization -- "oh, okay, Grodstein deliberately means for this guy to come off as an unlikable douchebag" -- which then changed the entire nature of my reading, from an unsatisfying attempt to generate sympathy for a troubled protagonist to the pure glee of waiting for this avid antagonist to finally get punished for his douchebaggery, as Grodstein promises almost from page one will eventually happen to this reprehensible dick. (And oh, it does, a devastating life-spanking that will make most readers cheer.)Seen in this light, then, I ended up having a lot of respect for Grodstein and this book by the time it was over, for pulling off the difficult feat of basing an entire novel not around a hero we can root for but a legitimate villain who we legitimately despise, which along the way has a lot of very sly things to say about what a mess the entire United States has become post-9/11, and how a big part of this mess is because of us turning into an entire nation of kneejerking, passive-aggressive, insufferable f-cking douchebags just like the cavalier New England doctor this story is based around. It's sure to upset many, precisely for subverting the traditional set-up of the Western-Civ three-act story structure; but if you can get past your need for a novel to be based around a redeemable protagonist, A Friend of the Family is actually kind of brilliant, an experiment in finger-pointing that will delightfully enrage anyone who believes in tolerance and forgiveness, thus showing by example why such traits are so important in the first place. It comes recommended today to those who aren't easily offended.Out of 10: 8.4And P.S., knowing full well how sexist this sounds, let me also confess how much better I think this book would've been if the main character had been a wife and mother instead of husband and father, and how the gender change would've suddenly brought a lot more believability to his sometimes strangely feminine behavior -- his irrational jealousy over a good-looking woman in her late twenties, the catty manner in which he tries to sabotage their relationship, even his secret love of Sex and the City, which I simply wasn't buying for a minute. In a world where middle-aged women really do get busted all the time for things like bullying teenage girls into suicide, this novel simply would've made a lot more sense with a female in the main role.
    • 5/5
      This wrenching story is impossible to put down. Told from the viewpoint of a middle aged man, it is the story of his fall. At the beginning of the book he seems to have it all - the successful career, happy marriage, loving son - but things begin to disintegrate and how much of that is caused by he himself is left for the reader to figure. The author writes beautifully and her style reminds me of Philip Roth. She seems to understand families and particularly fathers in contemporary families. The ending was not as well-crafted as the rest of the novel. It felt almost corny. But, I can't wait to read her next book.
    • 3/5
      The depiction of suburban New Jersey and the conflicts therein were wonderful. I felt a little let down by the buildup of the conflict and the eventual reveal, the ending felt rushed and somewhat unsatisfying. But a great read until that point.
    • 4/5
      I liked this. I don't know that I was crazy about the ending -- I was expecting some Bigger Reveal -- but in terms of the journey, I liked it.
    • 3/5
      Quite slow to start but became more interesting as the story progressed. I didn't anticipate the ending but that doesn't quite make up for the rest of the book.