Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Autobiography of a Fat Bride: True Tales of a Pretend Adulthood
    Autobiography of a Fat Bride: True Tales of a Pretend Adulthood
    Autobiography of a Fat Bride: True Tales of a Pretend Adulthood
    Audiobook7 hours

    Autobiography of a Fat Bride: True Tales of a Pretend Adulthood

    Written by Laurie Notaro

    Narrated by Hillary Huber

    4/5

    ()

    About this audiobook

    In Autobiography of a Fat Bride, Laurie Notaro tries painfully to make the transition from all-night partyer and bar-stool regular to mortgagee with plumbing problems and no air conditioning. Laurie finds grown-up life just as harrowing as her reckless youth, as she meets Mr. Right, moves in, settles down, and crosses the toe-stubbing threshold of matrimony. From her mother's grade-school warning to avoid kids in tie-died shirts because their hippie parents spent their food money on drugs and art supplies; to her night-before-the-wedding panic over whether her religion is the one where you step on the glass; to her unfortunate overpreparation for the mandatory drug-screening urine test at work; to her audition as a Playboy centerfold as research for a newspaper story, Autobiography of a Fat Bride has the same candor and outrageous humor that made Idiot Girls an instant cult phenomenon.

    In Autobiography of a Fat Bride, Laurie contemplates family, home improvement, and the horrible tyrannies of cosmetic saleswomen. She finds that life doesn't necessarily get any easier as you get older. But it does get funnier.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherTantor Media, Inc
    Release dateJun 1, 2011
    ISBN9781452672663
    Autobiography of a Fat Bride: True Tales of a Pretend Adulthood
    Author

    Laurie Notaro

    Laurie Notaro is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of the humor memoirs The Idiot Girls’ Action-Adventure Club, Autobiography of a Fat Bride, I Love Everybody, The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death, a finalist for the Thurber Prize, and Housebroken, among others. She is also the author of three works of fiction, including the historical novel Crossing the Horizon. Born in Brooklyn, New York, she then spent the remainder of her formative years in Phoenix, Arizona, where she created something of a checkered past. Laurie now resides in Eugene, Oregon, has a cute dog and a nice husband, and misses Mexican food like it was her youth.

    More audiobooks from Laurie Notaro

    Related to Autobiography of a Fat Bride

    Related audiobooks

    Women's Biographies For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      Philip Roth

      Jun 4, 2018

      Philip Roth
      25 min read

    • Article

      Spilt Milk

      Nov 4, 2019

      Spilt Milk
      10 min read

    • Article

      By Fiona Killackey

      Nov 1, 2017

      Forty-five minutes. That’s all it took for Mum to go from isto was. She was seemingly okay, packing books to read for what she assumed would be a long wait at the hospital (for a check-up, as she hadn’t been feeling well for twenty-four hours), and w

      4 min read

    • Article

      Here’s What I Don’t Say

      Jun 1, 2019

      Here’s What I Don’t Say
      13 min read

    • Article

      Siphons

      Feb 6, 2020

      Siphons
      6 min read

    • Article

      Finding Peace—and Briefly, Freedom—at My Grandfather’s Funeral

      Oct 11, 2019

      “Saying goodbye with the people who loved him—and me—I remember that I am not the tomb that imprisons me.”

      6 min read

    • Article

      Q + A

      Nov 28, 2022

      Q + A
      10 min read

    • Article

      THE greatest LOVE

      Oct 21, 2021

      THE greatest LOVE
      10 min read

    • Article

      Three Poems

      May 1, 2020

      No one is proud of a drug addictionor a son with addiction or a cousinwho stops calling his mother no oneis proud of an accident no one is proudtheir grandmother was mean like a doga secret smoker no one spends Saturdaystalking about house painting h

      3 min read

    • Article

      James O’Brien

      May 10, 2021

      James O’Brien
      5 min read

    • Article

      How Embarrassing

      Dec 9, 2019

      I had my cousin’s one-year-old kid sit on my lap at a family get-together over Christmas and hadn’t noticed she’d undone the straps on my super cute tie-up dress as I was talking away. When I stood up, my dress just fell to the floor and I flashed my

      3 min read

    • Article

      Perfection

      Jun 9, 2020

      For years I could barely write a page. I thought I was becoming a virtuoso of smallness while the grief, which is wordless, occupied an ever-greater volume. My friend lived in the estates on the bad side of town. Let’s go to the forest, she said when

      9 min read

    • Article

      Coming To Terms

      May 25, 2021

      Coming To Terms
      14 min read

    • Article

      When Naming Isn’t Enough

      Aug 31, 2018

      When Naming Isn’t Enough
      16 min read

    • Article

      Yellow Is the Color of Choices

      Dec 10, 2023

      For whatever reason, when she sees me each weekend, Megan still hugs me like when she was five. Her skinny arms wrap around my waist, and her eyes squeeze tight like she’s absorbing me into her skin. This is both heartening and heart-wrenching. I wan

      13 min read

    • Article

      Corona

      Jul 1, 2022

      one month today this poem’s trackedcrisis calm and crisis againmuch boredom much time passedby narrating the passage of timewords clung to high brancheshow did I get way up hereI was asleep half asleepavoiding time or hidingbehind under in timetime w

      4 min read

    • Article

      The Identity Parade

      Feb 2, 2019

      The Identity Parade
      9 min read

    • Article

      Quarantine Album

      Sep 8, 2020

      It all started with a very simple request: I asked my mom, when she had time, could she look through old photos to see if there were any of pint-size me decked out for Halloween—primo Instagram content for my show Scream, Queen! (a podcast about scar

      4 min read

    • Article

      Touch

      Nov 4, 2021

      Touch
      8 min read

    • Article

      Commentary: Grieving Over Mom: No, She's Not In A 'Better Place'

      May 10, 2019

      Two days before my mother died, she was incontinent, incoherent and, with the exception of some humming, incommunicado. Dementia had swept away her ability to swallow food or water, and danger of asphyxiation was real. Nurses swabbed her dry lips wit

      3 min read

    • Article

      Why, Dad? Why?

      Oct 2, 2022

      Why, Dad? Why?
      7 min read

    • Article

      This Lousy Heart

      Jul 18, 2019

      This Lousy Heart
      14 min read

    • Article

      While I Wasted Time in Prison, My Mom Died of a Broken Heart

      May 22, 2020

      With my hands in cuffs and my chin to my chest, my parole officer asked me, “Do you want to call your mom?” “I can’t—this would kill her,” was all I could say as I sat in the back seat of my P.O.’s car. Life Inside Perspectives from thos

      4 min read

    • Article

      Girls On The Playground

      Feb 18, 2021

      Girls On The Playground
      15 min read

    • Article

      Daughters’ Bodies

      Dec 1, 2019

      WHEN I’M about to go away to college, my grandmother dies and my mother silently puts herself up for adoption. LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO ADOPT ME: Kind, lonely, beautiful woman in her 50s. Dead husband. No children. Cooks and cleans. 4’11 and 90 lbs. Gu

      20 min read

    • Article

      ‘Never Say You Can’t, Always Say You Can And You Will’

      Aug 27, 2020

      Supportive parents really make a difference. My mum and dad, Marge and George, were always very encouraging. I think because I was born just after the war there was the sense in them of, ‘This is the generation that can have more than we had.’ She wa

      2 min read

    • Article

      Alan Cumming

      Nov 1, 2021

      Alan Cumming
      5 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for Autobiography of a Fat Bride

    4/5

    295 ratings21 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

    • 3/5
      This is a collection of very short essays on the author's misadventures as she gets married, buys a house, tries to find a job, etc. She is able to write about not being perfect and making mistakes without sounding like a self-help or chick lit book, and that's refreshing.
    • 5/5
      I absolutely adore Laurie Notaro. This is the third book I have read from her and she has not disappointed me yet. Spanning from her early days of dating to her life of marriage, this book left me smiling and laughing. Not because her stories are over-the-top antics but because I can relate to them so much. This may be my favorite memoir from her so far. Her constant moments of “wait, was I supposed to become an adult at some point?”, her sarcasm, and her wit left me unable to put down this book.

      I have wondered how incredibly awesome it would be to hang out with this essayist and the other humorist essayist, Jen Lancaster. My amusement would never end I have a feeling. A fun, quick read and very enjoyable.
    • 1/5
      Normally I adore this type of book. Maybe I'm overloaded with Jen Lancaster or something but it just seemed forced. I couldn't finish it.
    • 4/5
      I absolutely adore all of Laurie Notaro's books. I can so relate to the way she feels. It is nice to see someone who is not a size 2 and 5'10".
    • 4/5
      Another comedic memoir by Laurie Notaro. This one is mostly about the time leading up to her marriage, the proposal, the wedding and finding the right dress. Then the first few years of married life.
    • 4/5
      This is the type of book I've been looking for! Recommended by a bookcrosser at a meetup, I went out and bought it the next day. Notaro's hilarious autobiography is broken into 1 1/2 - 3 page essays that I can read a bit at a time. I've been needing a book that I can pick up and put down when I can find a minute here and there to read.

      Laurie Notaro's stories are about mundane daily occurrences that normal adults seemed buried in and would hardly take the time to discuss, but she turns them into outrageously funny stories. I found myself relating to her totally, even telling people some of her stories as if she were a friend, like, "Did you know that if you flush your tampons.....?" "I heard that a cat could 'just slip away' if given anesthesia for a teeth-cleaning..."

      People say that you either love or hate Notaro's writing. I disagree--her stories are hit or miss with me; I'm not passionate about her either way. This particular book gets old/irritating if you read it at once as an autobiography since the topics are all over the place and she repeats some information several times as if each little chapter or essay were written at completely different times. When reading only one essay in a sitting or in random order, that feeling of being at a comedy act that I had when I read the first few chapters comes back.

      If read front to back, the chapters after the wedding really dragged and I almost released it without finishing it. Don't be fooled! It gets much better starting with "Red Mice."

      My favorites--the ones that had me laughing hysterically all by myself at the park (I had to close the book and hold my stomach as I was rolled over in a fit of laughter)and ones that were worth reading aloud to friends:

      "White noise, white soap....." (I read this to my friend two days before her wedding)
      "As time goes by"
      "My mother, my self, my god" (the best)
    • 4/5
      Pros:
      * More than just weddings
      * Short vignettes
      * Stories are relatable

      Cons:
      * I wish some of the stories were more in-depth
      * Could have used more description in places.

      I loved the commentary on adulthood and expectations (whether internal or external).
    • 4/5
      First book of her's and I laughed alot. She has a great way with words and is completely honest and self-deprecating. We're the same person really except I don't have a writing career. Yet.
    • 3/5
      Not as much fun as some of her other books, but mostly enjoyable.
    • 5/5
      Thank god for Laurie Notaro...it is nice to know that I am not the only crappy adult that exists. She is so funny and personable that I want to hang out with her, if only to confirm my bad "adultness". She deals with everything from the first nephew in the family to Christmas to taxes to getting married. I adore her work. I will read anything she writes. LOVE IT!!
    • 4/5
      Laurie Notaro does it again! So many great chapters! The one about buying a new bra was so hilarious! And can you imagine your gynecologist calling you fat and other disparaging remarks. Laurie actually finds a man who loves her despite all her faults AND possible scary things associated with her past. Oh her poor husband he puts up with a lot from her you just have to have sympathy for him, especially the toothbrush incident.These books are so much fun and I don’t care if I look like a crazy person listening to these and laughing out loud I need the laughs!Hillary Huber’s narration is really great, her timing on all the great stories that Laurie has written is just spot on!4 Stars
    • 1/5
      Normally I adore this type of book. Maybe I'm overloaded with Jen Lancaster or something but it just seemed forced. I couldn't finish it.
    • 5/5
      An amazing second memoir by the author. Once again you will find your eyes tearing up at the thought of what's happening. Although I still consider the starting memoir "The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club" to be my favorite; The book is just as quirky and blunt as expected when learning of Notaro's pre-,engagement, and early stages of marriage.
    • 2/5
      I can't say that I loved this book, but it was entertaining at times. After the first 20-30 pages, I almost put it down. But I hate to not finish a book, so I stuck with it. It did pick up and was pretty funny at times, but other times it just seemed like rambling and whining. Overall, it was decent but not something I would call up my friends and demand that they read.
    • 4/5
      This book cracked me up. I have read it cover-to-cover many times, and it's always a good grab when I just want to relax or read at the beach.
    • 5/5
      Notaro is laugh out loud funny, and a decent writer to boot. Greatly enjoyable, especially for those of us in our 30's who still can't believe we are really, actually, grownups. "Jesus, when did I start ironing my t-shirts for work?" I hope she continues to share!
    • 5/5
      One of my favorite authors., she writes with candor and a refreshingly witty take on her own life.
    • 3/5
      she used to have her own column for a paper in arizona, but she was hustled out. some of her work is stilted, but on the whole she's everyone on their worst day ever. funny and indignant, and a quick read.
    • 4/5
      Laurie Notaro is smart, sarcastic, and self-deprecating. You'll wish you knew her, so she could tell you these stories herself, over a beer or two. The one where she gets a gun pulled on her during a job interview would have you snorting suds out your nose.
    • 5/5
      Painfully funny -- Laurie Notaro is one of those people who go through life regularly embarrassing herself. This book made me laugh out loud repeatedly, and buy her other books.
    • 3/5
      I expected too much from the Laurie Notaro series. I thought it was going to be very funny, but for some reason, almost all of its punchlines fell flat. The book came across like it was trying too hard to be funny.