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Bringing Up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting
Unavailable
Bringing Up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting
Unavailable
Bringing Up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting
Audiobook9 hours

Bringing Up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting

Written by Pamela Druckerman

Narrated by Abby Craden

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

4/5

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Currently unavailable

Currently unavailable

About this audiobook

The secret behind France's astonishingly well-behaved children.

When American journalist Pamela Druckerman has a baby in Paris, she doesn't aspire to become a "French parent." French parenting isn't a known thing, like French fashion or French cheese. Even French parents themselves insist they aren't doing anything special.

Yet, the French children Druckerman knows sleep through the night at two or three months old while those of her American friends take a year or more. French kids eat well-rounded meals that are more likely to include braised leeks than chicken nuggets. And while her American friends spend their visits resolving spats between their kids, her French friends sip coffee while the kids play.

Motherhood itself is a whole different experience in France. There's no role model, as there is in America, for the harried new mom with no life of her own. French mothers assume that even good parents aren't at the constant service of their children and that there's no need to feel guilty about this. They have an easy, calm authority with their kids that Druckerman can only envy.

Of course, French parenting wouldn't be worth talking about if it produced robotic, joyless children. In fact, French kids are just as boisterous, curious, and creative as Americans. They're just far better behaved and more in command of themselves. While some American toddlers are getting Mandarin tutors and preliteracy training, French kids are- by design-toddling around and discovering the world at their own pace.

With a notebook stashed in her diaper bag, Druckerman-a former reporter for The Wall Street Journal-sets out to learn the secrets to raising a society of good little sleepers, gourmet eaters, and reasonably relaxed parents. She discovers that French parents are extremely strict about some things and strikingly permissive about others. And she realizes that to be a different kind of parent, you don't just need a different parenting philosophy. You need a very different view of what a child actually is.

While finding her own firm non, Druckerman discovers that children-including her own-are capable of feats she'd never imagined.
LanguageEnglish
Release dateFeb 7, 2012
ISBN9780449010884
Unavailable
Bringing Up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting

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Rating: 4.078634913946587 out of 5 stars
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  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I was curious about the buzz this one received and since I’m pregnant, it seemed to be the perfect time to check it out. I went into it assuming that Druckerman’s argument would be that everything French is better. I was prepared to take that with a grain of salt and move on. Instead I discovered that, although she was living in Paris, she wasn’t a huge fan of France or the French. That being said, she was in awe of French parenting and the seemingly effortless success they had raising their children. Druckerman approaches the whole subject as a journalist, not as a mother desperate to figure out what works. I appreciated her factual approach. She included anecdotes about her own experiences, but relied more heavily on what she learned from other French mothers. I thought it was fascinating to learn what cultural differences are ingrained in French and American parents, respectively. There is plenty that I know wouldn’t work with my particular style. The sheer pressure put on women to look perfect as quickly as possible after giving birth is a bit overwhelming, but there were plenty of other things to learn from. I loved seeing how the day cares in France, called a crèche, work. Where American day cares have a negative stigma attached, crèches are the opposite. BOTTOM LINE: Interesting and informative. There are a few parenting styles that I hope I’ll keep in mind as I attempt to find what works best for my family. I particularly liked the French approach to encouraging your kids to eat a wide variety of food and sleeping through the night as early as possible.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I found this book to be intriguing and interesting. Pamela,an American writer now living in France, shares the differences between the American and French views on pregnancy, child birth and child rearing. I wish that the US had such high quality subsidized child care and nutritious school lunches as the French do. I am impressed with the French attitudes about paretnal authority and children's autonomy. I really liked the parts about food and helping children to learn to enjoy a variety of foods and not be picky eaters. As a mother of 3 children, and a teacher, I find it fascinating to learn about the culturally different attitutdes about child development. Some of the "French" attitudes about children are similar to what is mentioned in the book Free-Range Kids - that children can and should learn to be autonomous and responsible for their own actions. I think that we could learn a few things from the French about that. Other things, like the fact that breastfeeding is not seen as important and is discouraged in France, I disagreed with.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    narrated by Abby CradenThe backstory: I've been curious about Bringing Up Bebe since it first came out, but now that I'm pregnant (the nomadbaby is due August 9th), it seemed like a great time to finally read it. On the recommendation of Jen at Devourer of Books, I opted for the audio version.The basics: Pamela Druckerman is a journalist and New Yorker who falls in love with a Brit and settles in Paris. Once they have a daughter, Bean, Druckerman begins to notice how different French children are than American children. They don't whine. They're not picky eaters. They sleep through the night earlier. yet when she asks French parents, they don't claim to do anything special or know what they're doing. In fact, compared to her U.S. friends who all espouse a variety of named parenting philosophies, the French parents insist that's just how children are.My thoughts: One of my biggest fears about motherhood is exhaustion. I've always been a sleeper, and I don't function well on prolonged lack of sleep. Obviously, I'm aware that early motherhood will have me short on sleep, but I'm eager to find out anything that might help that period be as short as possible. In this sense, I enjoyed the first part of Bringing Up Bebe most because it focuses on the youngest children. My not-yet-born child does not yet whine in my fantasies, yet ini my head he does smile adorably in the middle-of-the-night when I wish I were sleeping.Bringing Up Bebe begins with some background on Druckerman and her husband, which was interesting, but I was glad when she shifts the narrative to pregnancy. I didn't expect this book to include cultural differences about pregnancy, which I've read a lot about already. While I enjoyed her observations about pregnant French women, this section included the first red flags that Druckerman writes as a journalist who is not always willing to examine evidence or her own assumptions. There's nothing necessarily wrong with that stance, but throughout this book she vacillates between journalist and memoirist. This combination frustrated me as a reader at times, particularly because so many of her personal opinions she refuses to examine as a journalist are not ones I share.Typically what I love about memoirs is having a glimpse into a person's real life. I liked that here, but I also realized for all the parts of this book I really enjoyed, I don't think Pamela Druckerman and I would be friends in real life. In fiction, I don't need my characters to be likeable as long as they're interesting and I understand their motivations. Listening to this book made me realize that preference extends to nonfiction too. Druckerman passes the interesting test--her life is fascinating, but her unwillingness to fully embrace this topic as a journalist frustrated me. For all the good observations (much more than half), there were several missed opportunities.The verdict: There's a lot of wisdom and interesting observation about French parenting in Bringing Up Bebe. When Druckerman wrote as a journalist, I enjoyed this book much more than when she veered into more of a memoir style. There's a lot of good in this book, but I wished Druckerman would have pushed herself farther.Audio thoughts: Abby Craden's narration was superb. Her French pronunciation (to my Anglophone ears) was accurate without being over-the-top. She read with emotion, and her voice reminds me of my favorite audiobook narrator, Cassandra Campbell. I'm glad I picked this one up on audio, as I fear Druckerman's opinions would have been more grating in print.Rating: 4 out of 5 (4.5 out of 5 on audio)
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    I feel like I had French parents. Actually, I grew up in Ohio, with parents who were an eclectic melange of would-be hippie born slightly too late, and stern Midwestern Germanicism. But somehow, at least according to Druckerman's assessment of French parenting, this appears to have given my mom a very French outlook. Now all of a sudden I see why I felt out-of-sync sometimes with the preschool mom set. French mothers don't bring snacks to the park. They assume you'll eat at mealtimes. You don't have to eat all of your food, but you have to try a little of everything. They like activities, but they think a certain amount of boredom is good for a kid, and that, above all, parents need time to enjoy each other's company, and to do their own thing. These concepts seem like the stuff of my childhood, and I assumed, common sense. But Druckerman is right, they DO clash with the modern American way of parenting sometimes. And they shouldn't. I loved this book. I loved watching Druckerman come of age as a parent. It was like having a secret window into what my mom must have done. It gives me hope for the future.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    When American journalist Pamela Druckerman has a baby in Paris, she doesn't aspire to become a "French parent." French parenting isn't a known thing, like French fashion or French cheese. Even French parents themselves insist they aren't doing anything special.Yet, the French children Druckerman knows sleep through the night at two or three months old while those of her American friends take a year or more. French kids eat well-rounded meals that are more likely to include braised leeks than chicken nuggets. And while her American friends spend their visits resolving spats between their kids, her French friends sip coffee while the kids play.Motherhood itself is a whole different experience in France. There's no role model, as there is in America, for the harried new mom with no life of her own. French mothers assume that even good parents aren't at the constant service of their children and that there's no need to feel guilty about this. They have an easy, calm authority with their kids that Druckerman can only envy.Of course, French parenting wouldn't be worth talking about if it produced robotic, joyless children. In fact, French kids are just as boisterous, curious, and creative as Americans. They're just far better behaved and more in command of themselves. While some American toddlers are getting Mandarin tutors and preliteracy training, French kids are- by design-toddling around and discovering the world at their own pace.With a notebook stashed in her diaper bag, Druckerman-a former reporter for The Wall Street Journal-sets out to learn the secrets to raising a society of good little sleepers, gourmet eaters, and reasonably relaxed parents. She discovers that French parents are extremely strict about some things and strikingly permissive about others. And she realizes that to be a different kind of parent, you don't just need a different parenting philosophy. You need a very different view of what a child actually is.While finding her own firm non, Druckerman discovers that children-including her own-are capable of feats she'd never imagined.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    It was a fun read, and I really enjoyed the conversational tone of the book. It was not bossy and not judgmental. It was a nice change from other similar books. A lot of the information was kindof whatever, but there were a few chapters that had some great information and some things I would like to implement. I also really liked that she sited studies and gave more information in the notes section.I am even going to make my husband read a few of the chapters I really liked.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Fascinating read. Shows us that there is a better way to raise kids. If I ever have a child I need to reread this book!
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    The Good Stuff Advice is practical and makes total sense Fabulous Index and Bibliography (We know these things are important to me & yes I am a geek thank you very much) Fascinating and would lead to some fabulous discussions at Girls Night Out with the Mom's or book clubs Extremely well researched Self deprecating, honest and funny - she really doesn't hold back on her "supposed" failings as an "American" parent Doesn't "really" judge (though at times it does come across this way) just gives you her thoughts and observations I definitely agree with many of her points and would like to make some changes with my own parenting style Fabulous story on page 33 - sorry no spoilers Liked the inclusion of a couple of unique recipes Thought provoking and makes you take a look at how you are raising your own childrenThe Not So Good Stuff Though she really does try it still does come across as rather patronizing Would have liked her to have included some information/pointers-- um if your kids are older -- and um you would like to fix some of your parenting mistakes -- just sayin -- not that we are talking about me or anything She seems to have some issues with French people so why would she want to raise her children to perhaps turn out like them (really having a hard time trying to explain what I am trying to get across with this point) At times a tad repetitive and at times I was irritated by the constant generalizations -- not every American parent is over permissive and not every French parent is calm and perfect Also the advice is very similar to how I was raised as a child, in Canada, so I don't think this is necessarily a French parenting style I am also concerned that the schools, not the parents are doing the majority of the raising of French children and how does that affect their growth as human beings (again having a hard time with explaining this point -- must get coffee)Favorite Quotes/Passages"I hadn't thought I was supposed to admire French parenting. It isn't a thing, like French fashion or French cheese. No one visits Paris to soak up the local views on parental authority and guilt management. Quite the contrary: the American mothers I know in Paris are horrified that French mothers barely breast-feed, and their four-year-olds walk around with pacifiers.""But by the time a child is three, French birthday parties are drop-offs. We're supposed to trust that our kids will be okay without us. Parents are usually invited to come back at the end for a glass of champagne and some hobnobbing with the other moms and dads. Simon and I are thrilled whenever we get invitations: it's free babysitting, followed by a cocktail party." (FYI - I'm a Canadian and this is how we throw kids parties too) "It becomes clear how French our kids' eating habits have become when we visit America. My mom is excited to introduce Bean to that American classic, macaroni and cheese fro a box. But Bean won't eat more than a few bites. "that's not cheese," she says. I think I detect her first sneer."Who Should/Shouldn't Read Thinking American parents will often be offended on how poorly they are portrayed Fabulous for a book club - especially one with Moms Will be passing this on to a friend who could really benefit from some of the ideas (she is seriously stressed out and her toddler is ruling the roost - and no judging here, as we are struggling with our toddler as well)3.5 Dewey'sI purchased this from Indigo on recommendation of Jeremy Cammy (My go to guy for non-fiction)
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Picked this book to read even though my only child is already 22. ;)

    When I read this I really thought she was on to something. Nowadays it feels like parents are slaves to their children. The children decide what they eat, what they buy, when they go to bed and if not they will have a temper tantrum.

    Today I was on my bike and a mum passed by with a child of about 3 or 4 on the front of the bike, having a big tempter tantrum. Screaming hs lungs out. The bike was shaking and the mum looked embarrassed and only said in a sweet voice, now stop it. Of course the child did not listen. ;)

    As i said before, I have a daughter of 22 and I am guilty of spoiling her. Soiling her because it made me feel good and not have a guilty conscience but I see now that best way to love a child is show them the boundaries.

    I am going to tell my daughter to read this before she has babies.

    Take a pause before you rush to your child for his or her every need.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I agree with some of these book advices. It is also a nice summer reading. Some of the advices though, didn't make sense for me as a mother. Each mother educates in a different way and must see what makes sense for her and what doesn't.
  • Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
    1/5
    Dieses Buch hab ich zu Weihnachten geschenkt bekommen. Es scheint mir von einer Mutter geschrieben worden zu sein, die recht wenig auf ihre eigenen Instinkte achtet und dadurch aus Unsicherheit alle möglichen Anleitungen benötigt. Zudem ist sie mir auch nicht allzu sympathisch oder interessant - mir kam sie tatsächlich wie eine klischeehafte oberflächliche US-Amerikanerin vor.Was mir sehr sauer aufstößt, ist das Frauenbild, das die Autorin transportiert und das ich auch in Frankreich erlebe. Hauptsache, man sieht der Frau weder an, dass sie ein Kind bekommen hat, noch dass sie gestillt hat, damit sie für ihren Mann auch ja attraktiv bleibt und auch als Mutter noch dem Beuteschema junger Männer entspricht. Dagegen ist ja nichts einzuwenden, aber es sollte kein Konformitätszwang herrschen und v.a. sollten nicht die Männer die Zielgruppe der mütterlichen Kasteiung sein. Denn in Frankreich- so reflektiert es die Autorin ja auch - ist die Geschlechterungerechtigkeit noch sehr weit fortgeschritten. Nur weil die Kinder brav sind und die Mütter gut aussehen, klingt das für mich nicht nah einem erfolgreichen Erziehungsmodell. Alles muss möglichst reibungslos funktionieren. Geburt mit PDA, damit man ja keine Schmerzen hat und möglichst wenig mitkriegt, kein Stillen, damit man sich schnell auch wieder abnabeln kann. Wenn man schon Länder vergleichen will, dann würde ich das schwedische Modell nehmen. Da sind die Kinder auch ruhig und die Mütter entspannt- aber es herrscht eine wesentlich größere Gelassenheit, sowohl bezogen auf die Kinder als auch auf sich selbst. Eine gertenschlanke Tochter einer gertenschlanken französischen Mutter aus meinem Bekanntenkreis sagte bereits in der ersten Klasse „Meine Oberschenkel sind zu dick“. Heute mit 13 macht sie natürlich Diäten rauf und runter. Das Mädchen ist wohlerzogen und höflich, aber auch neurotisch und unglücklich. Vielleicht ein Einzelfall. Aber dieses unnatürliche Verhältnis zum eigenen Körper erscheint mir ein Resultat der (französischen?) Fixierung auf die Optik. Grundsätzlich finde ich allerdings den französischen Umgang mit Essen im Kindesalter, wie er im Buch erläutert wird, recht gut.Was ich bejahen würde, ist der „Cadre“ - Grenzen ziehen, aber die eigene Mutterrolle nicht zu wichtig nehmen. Das Kind nicht zum alles bestimmenden Kern der Familie machen – wobei rein soziologisch das Kind natürlich der Kern der Familie ist. Historisch ist mittlerweile das Kind der Grund der Familie (früher war es der Vater), denn erst durch das Kind werden Paare gezwungen, sich einer länger währenden gemeinsamen Verantwortung zu stellen, zusammenzuziehen, zusammenzubleiben. Man kann sich für ein Kind bewusst entscheiden und dann dreht sich auch alles um dieses Kind. Natürlich sind die Kinder und die Familien damit heillos überfordert. Da wäre mir auch etwas mehr Vertrauen in die Kinder selbst wirklich wichtig – loslassen, als Eltern auch noch Eigenes tun. Bullerbü, so Anke Stelling, funktionierte auch deshalb, weil die Eltern ihrer Arbeit nachgingen und die Kinder dadurch ihre Freiräume hatten. Und die Kinder mussten mithelfen und hatten Aufgaben, all das ist wichtig und richtig.Ich selbst beschäftige mich beruflich recht erfolgreich mit Erziehung, habe drei mittlerweile fast erwachsene, sehr wohlgeratene, höfliche Kinder und bin wesentlich entspannter an die Sache rangegangen. Ich habe alle drei ohne PDA bekommen, zwei der Kinder zu Hause und das war großartig und ich würde es nie missen mögen. Klar ist es nicht gerade ein Kaffeekränzchen. Aber es ist ein gutes Erlebnis. Meine Kinder lagen, so lange sie wollten, bei uns im Bett oder im Schlafzimmer (Mein Kinderarzt sagte mal „In der Herde schlafen die Kinder am besten“), da haben sie dann auch gut geschlafen. Das hat mich nicht gestört, und sie sind alle heute ganz normal. Ich bin hingegangen, wenn sie geschrieen haben und habe sie nicht schreien lassen. Meine Kinder haben Urvertrauen und auch Vertrauen in sich selber. Sie sind extrem sozial, keine Egoisten. Ein Baby kann man nicht verziehen- aber man kann ihm das Gefühl dafür nehmen, dass es etwas erreichen kann. Ich sehe das Dilemma in der Erziehung in Deutschland (und wohl auch USA) heute eher darin, dass Kinder einerseits wenig Grenzen bekommen und auch wenig Hilfe (wenn mich ein Kind nervt, dann sage ich ihm das auch und umgekehrt greife ich auch ein, wenn ein Kind ein anderes ärgert und das andere damit überfordert ist) – andererseits überbehütet werden und nichts alleine machen dürfen (da ich berufstätig bin, mussten meine Kinder schon im späten Grundschulalter mit dem Fahrrad zum Sport etc. fahren, was für manche Eltern hier ein absolutes NoGo ist). Das finde ich am französischen System schon auch nicht schlecht, dass die Kinder frühzeitig auch alleine klar kommen müssen und nicht immer die Eltern dabei sind. Fazit: Ich bin der Meinung, dass Mütter mehr auf ihre Instinkte hören sollten – denn dann würden sie auch merken, wann man ein Kind trösten muss und wann es ok ist, es auch mal etwas warten zu lassen. Kinder brauchen Grenzen- aber sie brauchen auch Liebe und Wärme. Und man soll den Kindern etwas zutrauen. Sie merken beispielsweise schon, wie weit sie bei einem Klettergerüst hochklettern können, wenn sie das nie selbst ausprobieren, werden sie nie sicher.Ich denke mir das manchmal bei Tieren. Jede Katze kann das instinktiv: Anfangs liegt sie viel bei den Kindern, stillt sie, wann immer Bedarf ist. Dann irgendwann geht sie wieder jagen, die Kleinen müssen auch alleine zurecht kommen und warten, aber wenn sie kommt, ist sie ganz da. Und irgendwann lehrt sie sie das Jagen und dann irgendwann schickt sie sie raus und zieht sich ganz zurück. Warum muss es bei uns Menschen so viel komplizierter sein?
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Great book. I recommend it to my daughter who just had her first child.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Hmm. I liked this book the first time I read it. It is well researched, but made very readable by the fact that it tells the author's story - become a mother, and then a mother of 3 (having had twins) in Paris.Initially I was convinced, feeling that French parents had it all worked out, and that we anglo-saxons were a bunch of losers for letting our children change/control our lives so much. Lately, however, having thought more about what I want to give my children, and having observed a number of French children, parents and young adults, I'm not sure that not throwing food is enough.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I think this book is more about cultural shock than about parenting. You will learn a few things about parenting, especially if you're not French, but mostly about cultural differences. Funny and witty (occasionally trying too hard). The passages on her first birth and "perineal re-education" got me laughing out loud. Worth reading, but not more than once.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I love the title of the British edition of this book: French Children Don't Throw Food (I would guess that's a tip of the hat to Mireille Guiliano's French Women Don't Get Fat). While my parenting days are long behind me, I applaud the sensible French who don't let Little Napoleon run the house, run his parents ragged, and make all innocent bystanders smile through gritted teeth while looking for the nearest, quickest escape hatch.I don't have much in common with Pamela Druckerman, but enjoyed her self-deprecating writing style. Some people have criticized her for writing only about upper-middle class parents in Paris, who may not be the majority of French parents, but that's the milieu Druckerman was living in, so I won't quibble with that.An interesting read, and some young parents or parents-to-be would undoubtedly pick up some good tips they could put into practice.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Bringing Up Bebe is an interesting book for several reasons. One, it's a cross between an autobiography and a parenting book--meaning that it's chock full of the author's own personal experiences of trying to be an American mom to three young kids in Paris. But the author mixes plenty of parenting research, interviews, and advice in with her experiences, which gives this the flavor of a parenting or self help book as well. But the book never went to far in one direction for me, which made it interesting to read while being informative.There are certainly big differences between French and American parenting styles, but I think for most this book will be interesting, and a way to introduce new ideas into your parenting style. Particularly interesting to me was the idea that a child is part of the family but not the focus of the family, and that adults need their own adult time, even when they have very young children. I certainly think these are things I would one day like to work into my own parenting philosophy.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    I thought this was an excellent book. It was well researched, had some great advice and was very accessible with lots of good humor and many personal anecdotes. It's always good to "broaden your horizons" and see how other cultures approach things, in this case child rearing practices. My father was a Pediatrician practicing in Canada in the 1940's onward and many of the aspects of the philosophy described in the book were part of his philosophy and practice.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    This was well-written, easy to read. Much of it validates the Montessori approach to child development, so I recommend reading more on Maria Montessori. I don't think you can create direct comparisons between US culture and the cultures of individual countries, considering the population and history of each. The author's naivete was annoying at times, but overall this was an enjoyable book.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Oh this book and I had a love hate relationship. At the beginning I was not even sure I would make it all the way through. The author seemed self absorbed and really rubbed me the wrong way. Once the book got into the French parenting "philosophy" I was more engaged in the story and did make it all the way through. The book hardly seemed revolutionary and what I took away was that I could probably very easily get along with French parents....we parent similarly. Which is to say that French parents use techniques our grandparents or parents generation found successful. And well I did not LOVE this book I think there are probably many people who would find something useful in here.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Merci! Thank you! Raising biculturals kids, this is a great reminder that there is not such one way to raise your kids, while keeping the fundamental of our mission as parents from the moment our kids are born.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Beautifully written, entertaining and informative. I think I was meant to be French.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Brilliant! Loved the fresh and healthy view on parenting. Enjoy
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Raising bicultural kids myself, many times I felt lost between parenting styles. The way my parents raised me, in a very different context and the way I was raising my own children, based on what I read and saw in America. Working hard to follow American parenting books tips and pediatricians advices, I didn’t feel like myself. When Pamela said parenting books contradicted themselves and even within the same book there are contradictory points, she hit the nail on the head with me. It was so liberating to have someone expressing my exact feelings. I got rid of all parenting books in my house. No guilt. Freedom.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    It's quite interesting to learn the different parenting styles, norm, and values that bring up a child to the world. The idea of autonomy, awakening, and boundaries seems to work in the conjunction of one another. It is also nice to hear the French pronunciation throughout this audiobook. Though sometimes the voice is not stable. Sometimes loud and sometimes quiet.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I am not sure if a book on child rearing is supposed to make you laugh out loud, but this one did.

    Druckerman writes with rare wit and insight as an American raising children in Paris in the French way. She is married to an Englishman, and between them have all the national stereotypes that you would expect. As a New Yorker, she is neurotic, and he is ambivalent; well you know where I'm coming from.

    She has never understood how a French mother can get a child to behave at a dinner table, and after having her first girl, seeks to get under the skin of the French system. She has obviously done a lot of research on this, as the book is peppered with lots of interviews and anecdotes. She comes to understand the way that the child is raised in France is a cultural thing, the nurseries reinforce the same rules and expectations of how a child should and must behave.

    An enjoyable read, I would not have normally picked this up, but read as a book of the month. Some of the ideas that she has described I may have to try on the youngest!
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Having just read Le Billon's book, French Kids Eat Everything, I was delighted to find this book with a somewhat broader look at the raising of children in the French culture, presented with examples and research and humor---- so many wonderful things for parents to think about and absorb, perhaps in their own lives. My daughter is all grown up but I would love to have had this book behind me when we started her in this world. But perhaps that comes from being an older mother who has seen enormous changes in the ways children in the United States, in very general terms, behave. I loved Druckerman's last few sentences---she realized that everyone in the family was actually peacefully and happily enjoying themselves on their vacation.

    1 person found this helpful

  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I enjoyed this book very much. For this book, I read a lot of critical comments before I even picked up and I knew that a lot of readers, especially moms, were very critical of some of the sweeping generalizations that are made by Druckerman, but I felt that she addresses that explicitly several time in her narrative. What I took to be Druckerman's main point was that the French have a very different psychological view of parenting than many cultures, but especially American style attachment parenting (eg. Sears and friends). The most interesting page in this book to me dealt with the idea that a prominent psychological state that many American mothers exhibit is guilt for not being the "perfect" mom. Not only that, but the guilt for not being the perfect mom is possibly not only self fulfilling, but also addictive. I don't know if Druckerman hit this squarely on, but it struck a powerful chord for me. I have seen many examples of this type of behavior, especially in the Pacific Northwest urban areas. Its as if the goal for American parents is to sacrifice everything for the improvement and welfare of your kids or at least appear to be sacrificing everything. When the mom inevitable fails to feel that this has happened, there is a sense of guilt that can easily be commiserated with other moms. As opposed to the French mother motto, there is no perfect mother and there is no point beating yourself up trying to be one, or something along those lines. What I find absoutely hilarious is how many negative comments and reviews about this book are coming from American moms who are writing as if they have been accused of not being the "perfect mom".Is French parenting perfect? No, says Druckerman, it clearly has some downsides, but it appears to be producing some very different sorts of kids. The overall studies that she sights are quite interesting. I happen to work at an American university where part of my job is providing housing and becoming familiar with 18 year old freshmen. I get a new crop every year, and every year presents a renewed set of issues centered around these new "adults" who have no idea how to do anything significant for themselves. Experience in emotional hand holding is a required skill for success in my line of work. Anyone who works in the field of student affairs knows what I'm talking about and its a major focus area for retention and enrollment management goals. As I read Druckerman's anecdotal account of her time in Paris, I can't help but apply some of her observations to my day to day job. There are a number of other great parts in this book too that I encourage parents to read for just sheer humor. The chapter on giving birth to twins was great! Overall, an interesting book left me wanting to read about other European forms of parenting. What about the Swedes or the Germans? Why do the Brits parent like us? So many possible new topics for Druckerman to explore.

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  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    You would have to have a preconceived biased against French culture and/or an alternative style of parenting not to be delighted this book. And truthfully, the parenting methods related here aren't all that alternative. Traditional is probably a better word. Where American parents tend to be obsessively hands-on, the French are decidedly hands-off.The author, Pamela Druckerman, is an American expatriate, married to an Englishman, and living in Paris. She is in a unique position to observe, and often marvel at, the differences of both countries. Druckerman's writing style is so appealing here—replete with that right amount of sympathetic humor—that you look forward to tagging along all the way to the end.

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  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Wow, I loved this book. As a grandmother who has recently had her 3 and 1 years old grandsons living with her I could really relate to this wise book. Age and experience makes me see dealing with young children differently than I did and my daughter does. This inspiring book makes me see how I have grown in confidence in dealing with children. Just as the author in changes over the few years related in this book I see differences in my attitudes and dealing with my children and now my grandchildren. It amazes me the insightfulness the French have in bringing up children. As a grandmother I see the big picture more than I did when my own kids were little and I was consumed and worn out from too much but not enough. Reading this book was a capstone experience for me coming off 2 months of shared living before my daughters family moved out of state. I highly recommend Bringing Up Bebe for new mothers, grandparents, educators and anyone who wants to learn indepth about the current French culture especially that regarding children and families. Certainly, remarkably informative and naratively interesting. Very worth reading and purchasing for gift giving. An excellent discussion book especially for an intergenerational group.

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  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Finally! An American book on parenting that makes sense! Like Dominique in the book, I am Druckerman's doppelganger: raised in France, I now live and raise my child in North America. Like her, I was torn between what culturally made sense to me and what I was observing around me. Despite getting influenced by my environment (incipient guilt, lack of authority), I mostly stuck to my French roots, namely when it came to having time to myself, encouraging autonomy and explaining the whys and importance of limits.Reading Druckerman was both a cultural validation and a reminder that - for the most part - it is possible to have well-behaved children. Her sense of humour, curiosity and honesty made the read all the more compelling and entertaining, an all around delight both for information and pleasure.I highly recommend this book for mothers-to-be and mothers of young children.

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