Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Unavailable
    Someone Could Get Hurt: A Memoir of 21st-century Parenthood
    Unavailable
    Someone Could Get Hurt: A Memoir of 21st-century Parenthood
    Unavailable
    Someone Could Get Hurt: A Memoir of 21st-century Parenthood
    Audiobook4 hours

    Someone Could Get Hurt: A Memoir of 21st-century Parenthood

    Published by Penguin Random House Audio

    4/5

    ()

    Currently unavailable

    Currently unavailable

    About this audiobook

    A sharp, funny, and heartfelt memoir about fatherhood and the ups and downs of raising a family in modern America

    No one writes about family quite like Drew Magary. The GQ correspondent and Deadspin columnist's stories about trying to raise a family have attracted millions of readers online. And now he's finally bringing that unique voice to a memoir. In Someone Could Get Hurt, he reflects on his own parenting experiences to explore the anxiety, rationalizations, compromises, and overpowering love that come with raising children in contemporary America.

    In brutally honest and funny stories, Magary reveals how American mothers and fathers cope with being in over their heads (getting drunk while trick-or-treating, watching helplessly as a child defiantly pees in a hotel pool, engaging in role-play with a princess-crazed daughter), and how stepping back can sometimes make all the difference (talking a toddler down from the third story of a netted-in playhouse, allowing children to make little mistakes in the kitchen to keep them from making the bigger ones in life). It's a celebration of all the surprises—joyful and otherwise—that come with being part of a real family.

    In the wake of recent bestsellers that expose how every other culture raises their children better, Someone Could Get Hurt offers a hilarious and heartfelt defense of American child rearing with a glimpse into the genuine love and compassion that accompany the missteps and flawed logic. It's the story of head lice, almost-dirty words, and flat head syndrome, and a man trying to commit the ultimate act of selflessness in a selfish world.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherPenguin Random House Audio
    Release dateMay 16, 2013
    ISBN9781101619766
    Unavailable
    Someone Could Get Hurt: A Memoir of 21st-century Parenthood

    Related to Someone Could Get Hurt

    Related audiobooks

    Personal Memoirs For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      The Cat In The Hat Is Right About Parenting

      Apr 26, 2019

      WHY DO PARENTS still read The Cat in the Hat to their children? The cat gives terrible advice, after all. His risk assessments are poor. He urges reluctant kids to break rules. His games are unstructured and seemingly pointless; “UP-UP-UP with a fish

      5 min read

    • Article

      Winning Letter

      Oct 13, 2023

      HANDS up if you’ve ever used the kids pages in our Young YOU section to do your own homework or help your children or grandkids with theirs. I’m raising my hand over here – those pages were a lifesaver when I had to do school projects back in the day

      5 min read

    • Article

      Letters

      Sep 18, 2020

      It’s very easy to judge when you don’t have all the facts. I do feel however, in Ellen DeGeneres’ case, that her fame has gone to her head (YOU, 3 September) and she’s now learnt the bitter lesson that pride comes before a fall. She should genuinely

      4 min read

    • Article

      The Dad-Joke Doctrine

      Sep 25, 2018

      The Dad-Joke Doctrine
      9 min read

    • Article

      Out Of The Mouths Of Babes

      Dec 11, 2023

      Out Of The Mouths Of Babes
      9 min read

    • Article

      The Family Weekly

      Mar 31, 2018

      The Family Weekly
      2 min read

    • Article

      The End of Minimalism

      Jun 8, 2020

      Keeping a cluttered house has long been considered a little tacky, a little weak. But now it’s looking very wise.

      6 min read

    • Article

      We Need More Feminist Dads

      Feb 3, 2021

      One of the kids in my house feels bad for people named Karen. He announced it at the dinner table. “They’re not all annoying, or racist, or anti-vaxxer,” he said. “They don’t all demand to speak to the manager. How do you think the good Karens feel?”

      8 min read

    • Article

      One Hope for the New Year: A Kinder Culture

      Jan 15, 2018

      A FEW WEEKS AGO, MY ELDEST SON, WHO IS IN HIS FIRST year teaching fourth grade in a public elementary school, decided to put a suggestion box in his classroom, though he wasn’t quite sure what the box would yield. The result was not so much suggestio

      3 min read

    • Article

      The Fix

      Jan 19, 2021

      The Fix
      3 min read

    • Article

      Summer Picture Books: Parent-picked, Kid-approved

      Jul 13, 2023

      When the long, lazy days of summer beckon, head to your local library for a pile of stories to plunge into with your little ones. These five will inspire, enlighten, entrance, and delight children and their grown-ups, preferably with a popsicle in ha

      3 min read

    • Article

      Coming to Terms with Being Involuntarily Childless

      Oct 4, 2021

      I’m Berenice, a freelance designer, and founder of Hello Lovely, a design business in Cambridge creating print material including books for all age groups, including primary, branding, and websites. I guess I’m also a rebel in writing here as I’m not

      3 min read

    • Article

      Keeping Mum: TV’s Problem With Women Who Don’t Want Kids

      Jul 6, 2022

      Expecting a friend to be engrossed in a silly anecdote you’re bursting to share while they’ve got a baby in their hands is futile. The realisation that they’re more interested in whether their new child has pooped, rather than hearing a trivial tale

      6 min read

    • Article

      Make Mealtime Fun

      Feb 10, 2020

      Make Mealtime Fun
      1 min read

    • Article

      How To Get Along With Anyone

      Nov 14, 2023

      How To Get Along With Anyone
      10 min read

    • Article

      My 6-Year-Old Son Died. Then the Anti-vaxxers Found Out.

      Mar 28, 2023

      This article was featured in One Story to Read Today, a newsletter in which our editors recommend a single must-read from The Atlantic, Monday through Friday. Sign up for it here.       My 6-year-old boy died in January. We lost him after a household

      5 min read

    • Article

      Winning Letter

      Jan 27, 2023

      SO THERE we have it – the first month of the year is almost over and for many it’s a case of good riddance! It isn’t called Januworry for nothing: the funds that have to stretch and stretch long after the holidays are over, the school fees that need

      5 min read

    • Article

      When Parents Face Up To The Unthinkable

      Jan 17, 2022

      Back in April 2020 a widely shared tweet suggested that the previous month was the first March since 2002 in which there had not been a US school shooting. Had a life-threatening pandemic forcing children to stay at home really succeeded where lawmak

      3 min read

    Reviews for Someone Could Get Hurt

    4/5

    24 ratings25 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

    • 5/5
      Hysterical and touching partial biography of a family. As a former NICU Nurse, I was interested to hear a parent's point of view, for those parts of the book. The narration and story were excellent. If swear words bother you, then move along; but I loved this audio-book and the author's delivery. Will be listening to more of his work soon
    • 4/5
      If you like Drew Magary's columns on Deadspin, Gawker, GQ, etc., and if you have or are about to have children, you'll enjoy this book. He sandwiches several hilarious and sometimes surprisingly heartwarming stories of parenthood between one heartbreaking story of his third child's experience in a NICU. You'll get filthy humor, stories of true idiocy, DESCRIPTIONS IN ALL CAPS, and even a little advice.
    • 4/5
      This was an enjoyable book with relatable stories of parenting from the dad's point of view. More swearing than was probably necessarily but it also made some of the stories more funny as I thought of the reaction that I would have in those situations. Fun, quick read.
    • 4/5
      i loved Drew Magary's willingness to be completely, brutally honest in this memoir. He shares the frustration, the joy and the humor of being a parent. In the chapter where he describes his then five-year-old daughter's meltdown and his complete ineptitude and frustration in dealing with it, I could empathize with him. Been there, done that, and felt like the worst mother in the world. As parents, only these little creatures that we love with an all-consuming love can drive us to the brink. But the point he makes is, all parents are complete amateurs who are only doing the best they can. As a parent, all you can do is love your child, realize that kids are pretty resilient, and cut yourselves some slack when your parenting skills fall short.If you are offended by foul language, you probably shouldn't read this. The author uses the F word more than he needs and, truth be told, I probably would have enjoyed it more if he had toned it down some. But if you're not easily offended by foul language, by all means, pick up a copy and enjoy.
    • 4/5
      Enjoyed this book immensely. Very well written and quite funny, but also very poignant.
    • 4/5
      I'm years away from actually having to deal with anything in the book so I mostly requested it on the basis of Magary's pieces for Deadspin and GQ. While Drew writes great, humorous pieces he can have a tendency to read like a ten year old stuck inside a thirty-something's body ("I can get paid to write fuck a whole bunch of times?! Cool!"), so he tends to be a love or hate kind of thing. Luckily, I enjoy Drew's writing more often than not and Someone Could Get Hurt is one of those times. It's a humorous and brutally honest book in which Magary admits that parenting can be 9/10s make stuff up as you go and 1/10 luck/experience. There's a lot of smiling and happy families in here, but there's also a frank discussion of a DUI arrest, bumping a toddler's head into an elevator door on the way to Gymboree while attempting to prove he's not the stereotypical stupid father, and a memorable story involving a toothbrush. In other words, it's a short book about a normal family.
    • 4/5
      As a parent of 3 boys (12 and under), I could really relate to some of the stories in this book. Raising children is hard, but so rewarding. But you have to have a healthy sense of humor to get you through the crazy times. The author's description of his 5-year-old daughter's random tantrum/meltdown/screamfest was spot on. I've SO been there. It was validating to know I'm not the only parent to feel like I just couldn't take one more scream, but ultimately was able to get through it.Reading this book was like listening to a friend tell me his stories from the front line of parenting. I have to give the author credit for his honesty - he didn't shy away from admitting his mistakes, and that gave his stories an intimacy.If you're a parent, you'll get this book. If you aren't, you might not. And if you don't like profanity, don't read this book. But if you want a quick read that will make you laugh out loud, give this one a try.
    • 3/5
      A solidly mediocre collection of essays on Mr. Magary's parenting experience. Some are funny, some are touching, some have poop jokes.He does end the book with a great paragraph on raising young kids: "It becomes your reason for living, the thing that means more to your life than your life itself. It's never going to be perfect, no it's not. You're gonna keep f*ing up, and f*ing up badly. But you can;t give up. You have to keep fighting to make things right."Most of the book is filled with Magary f*ing up. However, the first essay and the last essay are focusing on his sick premature newborn. Those are emotional and tap on your heartstrings. In between the sandwich bread of emotion are essays on poop jokes, bad grocery shopping and playground misadventures.
    • 4/5
      I am not a parent yet and kind of fear the day that may happen, but at least I know that no one knows what they are doing, despite claiming otherwise.
    • 5/5
      ?The BEST book on parenting in contemporary America I have ever read! Honest, Funny, Heart-breaking - It runs the gamut of emotions. Should be required reading for any prospective parents because it is the real deal! Current parents need it simply to learn "you are not alone!" And everyone else should read it just because it's a great read.
    • 2/5
      Someone Could Get Hurt: A Memoir of Twenty-First-Century ParenthoodWritten and Narrated by Drew MagaryⓅ 2013, Penguin Audio4.80 hoursSomeone Could Get Hurt is a reality-based book about Drew Magary’s experiences as a father as he struggles with the challenge of being a selfish prick at the same time. There are moments in this memoir of honesty, tenderness and even some humor, but it all comes at a cost. All parents make mistakes and it takes courage to admit them, but even if even a fraction of what Margary wrote is true when he reacted to his little girl in “a particularly difficult incident”*, the listener’s response can only be one of sickening revulsion. While he doesn’t play this section for laughs, there is an implicit tone suggesting, “What parent hasn’t lost their shit and done something heinous to their kids? It’s a horrible thing that happened, but it’s okay! It happens! The kids are resilient!” Hmmm… Let’s just say I vehemently disagree and this one section negates any positive feelings I had for this book altogether.Technically, there was nothing wrong with the recording itself: The production values were solid. Authors narrating their own memoirs is appropriate and; Margary’s skill in delivering the material was well-paced, clear and genuine in feeling.* "'Someone Could get Hurt' By Drew Magary: All I Ever Want As A Parent (EXCERPT)" - In this article in The Huffington Post, Magary makes it seem that the only thing he did to his daughter was spank her. It should be noted that in the book, he recounts that he also screamed into her face, hit her and threw her into a cold shower.OTHER: I dnloaded a digital copy of Someone Could Get Hurt (written and narrated by Drew Margary) from downpour.com. I receive no monies, goods or services in exchange for reviewing the product and/or mentioning any of the persons or companies that are or may be implied in this post.
    • 5/5
      Once I picked up this book, I simply couldn't put it down until I finished it; that first sentence of "We all agreed that the child must be disemboweled" reeled in me in like a fish on a hook. Magary manages to find that perfect balance between the utter seriousness and the utter hilarity involved in raising a child. Even in the darkest moments detailed in the book, there's always a glimmer of humor lurking. The book felt very intimate, like Magary was truly baring it all for his audience; this was most evident in the chapter about his DUI. I don't have any children, but Magary makes child raising somehow relatable, often frightening, and very entertaining. An excellent and easy read, highly recommended.
    • 5/5
      I really enjoyed this book. I have yet to become a father; however, living with my brother and sister-in-law and their 4 children aged 10 down to 2, I've experienced much of this and heard stories and recounting of oopsies and challenges.The collection of writings and memories presented in a comedic and honest, unapologetic way made this memoir not only able to connect with the reader but reassuring that things don't always go right and that's what makes life best, those moments where it all goes wrong and we find ourselves challenged and uncomfortable.
    • 4/5
      "A memoir of twenty-first-century parenthood" that reads like a collaboration between Dave Barry and David Sedaris. This is Drew Magary's stories of his own parenthood experiences, and for the most part they're a hoot, although there are some poignant moments, and some passages that are uncomfortably honest. Herein are head lice stories, wars of escalation with a normally loving 5-year-old girl gone Exorcist, bathtub negotiations, and a tearful and fraught vigil at the hospital as the Magarys' 3rd baby fights for life. There were times when I did not like Drew Magary's self-portrayal, but that may have been because he honestly wrote about parenting aspects that I recognized and do not care for in myself.
    • 5/5
      I thoroughly enjoyed this book! Here is a dad not afraid to tell it like it is! Kids can be adorable and we'd likely do anything for them but there are times you'd just like to pop their heads off! I had a lot of laughs reading this book and had to share a few lines aloud to my hubby to so he'd know I hadn't gone off my rocker. Read this book if you have a good sense of humor and want to laugh til you cry!
    • 4/5
      I thought this book was spot on and hilarious. Anyone with children can relate to (almost) every chapter of this book. Yes, there is a stunning amount of foul language and sarcasm and even a smattering of references to binge drinking and drug use, but if you can get through those (and everyone should) the book is insightful and funny. The author has no qualms about exposing his less savory characteristics, but very clearly adores his children and would do anything for them. I read this book through in just over day and would wholeheartedly recommend it to any stressed out, loving parent.
    • 5/5
      This book is comprised of a bunch of short essays about the author's experience as a parent. It was, hands down, the funniest book I have read in at least a year. I laughed so hard that I cried, which was really embarrassing because I often read in a public places. I think that you have to be a parent to truly appreciate how funny this book is, but even non-parents would probably like it just because the author is so sharp and witty. I read this book from start to finish in about 3 days. That's saying a lot because I have a three year old, so reading any book in under a month is a challenge. I just could not put it down. Highly recommended.
    • 5/5
      This book was hilarious! I have never laughed out loud when I have read a book before, but Magary did just that. It seemed that I said, "Yes, exactly!" with each chapter. The book listed popular incidents that occur with parenting and how he went about dealing with each situation. This included taking the kids to the grocery store, head lice, when kids swear, etc. My favorite part was when he described how quick he wanted to be in the U-Scan line at the grocery store. This book is a must read, but if you do not enjoy sarcasm, you will not like it.
    • 4/5
      I found this book very sweet and heartfelt and humorous. It is always nice when someone is honest about parenthood, that it isn't all nice and sweet, that sometimes (most of the time) it is hard. I think Magary did a great job of delivering the message that even the hard times are what make parenthood great.
    • 4/5
      Drew Magary's "Someone Could Get Hurt: A Memoir of Twenty-First-Century Parenthood" is a funny, honest look at how having children changes every bit of your life. The book ranges in topics from his hilarious account of his daughter "helping" him make pizza to more serious topics like the premature birth of his son and Drew's DUI. I laughed a lot, and was genuinely moved by the honest emotions that the author put on the page. I am not a parent yet but hope to be soon, and this book gives me hope that no matter what I do I won't screw up my future children too badly.
    • 3/5
      I really wanted to give this book 2.5 stars because I find it so UNfunny, but I gave it back the half star because of Magary's honesty.Actually, I don't think I'm capable of reading one more book by a repressed adolescent male who thinks poor English is expressive (sorry, Drew, I just finished a [Chuck Wendig] book). I guess I just was raised by repressed, educated parents. What can I say?If you want to read a book that honestly tells you what it is like to raise children: the love, the heartache, the stupid mistakes and screw ups, this is the book. If you also want to read a book where each paragraph has at least one "explicative deleted" then you've hit the jackpot here.
    • 4/5
      Drew Magary's memoir about raising children is both funny (VERY funny) and sad. He is brutally honest and tells vivid stories about his children's tantrums and his own mistakes, stories that most of us would rather no one knew about! He says things that most of us have probably thought of, but never had the courage to say. His statements are often hilarious and had me laughing out loud. But when he discussed the premature birth of his 3rd son and his struggle to survive it brought me to tears.The only thing I did not like about this book was the profanity, particularly the frequent use of the F-word. It did not seem appropriate to me, especially since this is a book about family and young children. Otherwise I enjoyed this book very much and would recommend it to those who enjoy humor, memoirs, and those who are raising families of their own.
    • 3/5
      When "The Office" first came on TV, I couldn't watch it and didn't think it was funny, mostly because I worked with people who made those characters look sane and normal. Now that I don't work outside the home any longer, I find the show hilarious. I suspect that this is the case with Someone Could Get Hurt. I have four small children, which according to Magary, makes me a crazy person who belongs in jail. So all of his stories feel TOO familiar, if you know what I mean. I have that trip to the grocery store, every time. I regularly try to sneak out of the house to exercise. I even recently had that scary-as-hell stay in the NICU. Part of the humor of these things is supposed to be the glad-that's-not-me factor. But it is me. And every parent. I'm sure the book would be funnier if I weren't going through it all right now, but then again, there isn't much in the book that is unique to Magary's experience, crazy stories that only he could tell. And that's too bad, because those kinds of anecdotes would have made the book much better and funnier.
    • 5/5
      "We all agreed that the child must be disembowled" may be one of the most depressing openings to such a funny story in the history of books. Indeed, the first and last chapters are tear-jerkers, but everything in between is a funny--sometimes gut-wrenchingly so--look at parenting in the 2ks. Magary doesn't shy away from exposing his mistakes as a parent, including being arrested and charged with a DUI or accidentally letting his three-year-old son use his toothbrush to clean things it was never meant to clean. And that's what makes "Someone Could Get Hurt" so enjoyable -- Magary is honest, he's learned from mistakes, and he's not afraid to let himself sound like the awful parent parents often think they themselves are.There is no dearth of humorous parenting books on the market, but "Someone Could Get Hurt" has got to be one of the most enjoyable.
    • 4/5
      When I saw that Drew Magary's new book was in February's Early Review batch I fell out of my chair at the joyous sight. I quoted Drew: "I MUST HAVE IT!" Then when I won the book I skipped around the house because I cannot get enough of Drew Magary's writing. I frequent Deadspin.com for Drew first and the sports second. I love Drew's writing so much I feared that I wouldn't be able to review the book without endless gushing.This book is a quick read, easily finished in less than a week, but do not be fooled by the length of the essays-some less than a couple of pages. Drew will have you rolling on the floor laughing one minute and then weeping the next. It may be a memoir about parenting, about being a dad but if you have ever been in the presence of children for more than 24 hours (and can deal with some cussing) you will understand these stories.I'll admit, I lost interest about halfway through because like being around kids it got to be the same ol' thing day in and day out: Kids are manipulative, attention-hungry, adorable little rapscallions! It was easy to pick back up again though and I will be recommending the book to several of my friends.