Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well
Written by Sheila Heen
Narrated by Sheila Heen
4.5/5
()
Currently unavailable
Currently unavailable
About this audiobook
The coauthors of the New York Times-bestselling Difficult Conversations take on the toughest topic of all: how we see ourselves
Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen have spent the past fifteen years working with corporations, nonprofits, governments, and families to determine what helps us learn and what gets in our way. In Thanks for the Feedback, they explain why receiving feedback is so crucial yet so challenging, offering a simple framework and powerful tools to help us take on life's blizzard of offhand comments, annual evaluations, and unsolicited input with curiosity and grace. They blend the latest insights from neuroscience and psychology with practical, hard-headed advice. Thanks for the Feedback is destined to become a classic in the fields of leadership, organizational behavior, and education.
Sheila Heen
Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen are co-authors of the New York Times Business Bestseller Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most, Principals at Triad Consulting, and have been teaching negotiation at Harvard Law School for twenty years.
Related to Thanks for the Feedback
Related audiobooks
The Progress Principle: Using Small Wins to Ignite Joy, Engagement, and Creativity at Work Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Glad We Met: The Art and Science of 1:1 Meetings Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsTotal Leadership: Be a Better Leader, Have a Richer Life Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Beyond Collaboration Overload: How to Work Smarter, Get Ahead, and Restore Your Well-Being Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Trustworthy Leader: Leveraging the Power of Trust to Transform Your Organization Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGrowth in the Age of Complexity: Steering Your Company to Innovation, Productivity, and Profits in the New Era of Competition Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPowers of Two: How Relationships Drive Creativity Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Never Ride a Rollercoaster Upside Down: The Ups, Downs, and Reinvention of an Entrepreneur Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFriend and Foe: When to Cooperate, When to Compete, and How to Succeed at Both Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Getting Beyond Better: How Social Entrepreneurship Works Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Bridgebuilders: How Government Can Transcend Boundaries to Solve Big Problems Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLeading through Disruption: A Changemaker’s Guide to Twenty-First Century Leadership Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsUnder the Hood: Fire Up and Fine-Tune Your Employee Culture Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Innovation is Everybody's Business: How to Make Yourself Indispensable in Today's Hypercompetitive World Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWork Better Together: How to Cultivate Strong Relationships to Maximize Well-Being and Boost Bottom Lines Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Bury My Heart at Conference Room B: The Unbeatable Impact of Truly Committed Managers Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Wide Lens: A New Strategy for Innovation Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Emotional Equations: Simple Truths for Creating Happiness + Success Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Summary of Jenny Blake's Pivot Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLet Me Save You 25 Years: Mistakes, Miracles, and Lessons from the Lovesac Story Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHow Great Leaders Think: The Art of Reframing Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Peak: How Great Companies Get Their Mojo from Maslow Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Decide and Conquer: 44 Decisions that will Make or Break All Leaders Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Sidetracked: Why Our Decisions Get Derailed, and How We Can Stick to the Plan Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Time Smart: How to Reclaim Your Time and Live a Happier Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5In Great Company: How to Spark Peak Performance By Creating an Emotionally Connected Workplace Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWhy Simple Wins: Escape the Complexity Trap and Get to Work That Matters Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Rethinking Real Estate: A Roadmap to Technology's Impact on the World's Largest Asset Class Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Careers For You
The Dictionary of Body Language: A Field Guide to Human Behavior Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Quitting: Why I Left My Job to Live a Life of Freedom Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Ultralearning: Master Hard Skills, Outsmart the Competition, and Accelerate Your Career Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Never Eat Alone, Expanded and Updated: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance--What Women Should Know Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Real Artists Don't Starve: Timeless Strategies for Thriving in the New Creative Age Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Burnout Breakthrough: How to Balance Your Dreams, Responsibilities, and Self-Care Routine Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The First 90 Days: Proven Strategies for Getting Up to Speed Faster and Smarter Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Nailing the Interview: A Comprehensive Guide to Job Interviewing: A Comprehensive Guide to Job Interviewing Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5What Every BODY is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Speed-Reading People Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Start.: Punch Fear in the Face, Escape Average, and Do Work That Matters Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Designing Your Life by Bill Burnett, Dave Evans - Book Summary: How to Build a Well-Lived, Joyful Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5From Paycheck to Purpose: The Clear Path to Doing Work You Love Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Motivated Mindset: Kick Procrastination to the Curb Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Proximity Principle: The Proven Strategy That Will Lead to the Career You Love Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Permission to Pivot: The Power of Self-Awareness Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Values & Career Alignment Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Quitter: Closing the Gap Between Your Day Job and Your Dream Job Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Jump: Take the Leap of Faith to Achieve Your Life of Abundance Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Write It Down, Make It Happen: Knowing What You Want And Getting It! Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Unspoken Rules: Secrets to Starting Your Career Off Right Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Networking with Millionnaires Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Art, Inc.: The Essential Guide for Building Your Career as an Artist Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Advice Trap: Be Humble, Stay Curious & Change the Way You Lead Forever Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The 30 Day MBA: Your Fast Track Guide to Business Success Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Becoming a Professional Life Coach: Lessons from the Institute of Life Coach Training, 2nd Edition Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Mean Girls at Work: How to Stay Professional When Things Get Personal Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5
Reviews for Thanks for the Feedback
65 ratings3 reviews
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I loved the concrete examples and steps for improving the way I interpret feedback.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I listened to this audiobook while working on other things, so I unfortunately can't give a very good overview of how it's structured. If I remember right, the authors started by laying out their definition of "feedback," which is broader than you might expect. Telling someone the ways in which they could improve the presentation they just practiced counts as feedback. So does telling them that they did great and are going to do just fine during the real thing (encouragement rather than advice). And that person who honked at you during your morning commute because you were zoned out and didn't notice the light had changed to green was also giving you feedback.After that, I can't really remember much about their organization, although some things they wrote about really stuck with me. For example, I wasn't expecting them to touch on mental health, but they did, discussing the ways an anxious or depressed person's distorted thinking can make it difficult to change how they perceive feedback and advising that readers experiencing that kind of difficulty seek help. I appreciated that.The authors' advice mostly boiled down to "calm down, shift your thinking about whatever feedback you just received that made you defensive, and try to find the kernels you can work with." In some cases, that involved getting clarification from the other person - about what they meant, the kind of feedback they were really giving you, etc. In other cases, it meant have a conversation with yourself and figuring out the ways in which this obviously wrong person might be right. And in some cases it involved having conversations with folks in which you deliberately addressed things (like feelings) that might otherwise have gone unspoken.They admitted that some of the things they discussed probably wouldn't come naturally to most people. Some of it sounded so uncomfortable/unnatural to me that I figure I'd have to have a paper copy of this to remind me of enough of the details to even try to put it into practice. Unfortunately, if I remember right, the most uncomfortable/unnatural stuff was connected to the authors' advice for how to take a step back and shift your thinking, even when your knee-jerk reaction is to be defensive or upset. You know, the really hard part.So yeah, at least parts of this book probably would have worked better in print than in audio, but I did still appreciate it overall. One of my favorite lines: "You aren't going from good to bad, or even from good to complicated. You've been complicated all along." I'll try to remember that the next time something shakes my sense of myself enough to have me anxiously fretting over whether this one thing indicates that I'm a "bad" person. I'm not good or bad - like other people, I'm complicated, and the question is what I can take from this moment, and whether I can learn and grow. (Wow, that sounds cheesy, but sometimes you need cheesy.)(Original review posted on A Library Girl's Familiar Diversions.)
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The performance evaluation: every person whose had a job for more than six months has been there…captively sitting and listening to a laundry list of your faults or the infuriating, “You’re doing great,” with nothing added for improvement. Or the worst—the “feed-back sandwich”—where your faults are wedged in between what you do well. The entire time, you are frozen in fear. Then, you stew over the negative things said about you. Then you complain about what a waste of time it’s all been. Managers and supervisors are often trained, workshopped, and coached about how to give good feedback. But the work is lost if the person they are evaluating isn’t receptive.Thanks for the Feedback is vital for anyone who wants to learn how to be better—a better parent, a better spouse, a better employee—because it teaches how to accept various kinds of feedback. This is not instructions on how to grow thicker skin, though. Stone and Heen use their own experience as consultants and Harvard lecturers and copious amounts of research in organizational behavior and psychology to explain exactly what feedback is and why it’s so hard for us to do anything constructive with it. In the first part of the book, the authors explain different types of feedback (appreciation, coaching, and evaluation). Then, they take us through the “triggers” that cause us to react badly to feedback (truth triggers, relationship triggers, identity triggers). Once we understand exactly what they have learned is going through our minds when we hear feedback, they explain what to do about it. They share conversation techniques, negotiation suggestions, and lots of problem solving tricks.This book is an excellent combination of popular psychology, self-help, relationship advice, and career building. I recommend it for anyone who has a serious desire to improve their communication and listening skills. Or for anyone with a performance evaluation coming up.