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    I Heart My Little A-Holes: A bunch of holy-crap moments no one ever told you about parenting
    I Heart My Little A-Holes: A bunch of holy-crap moments no one ever told you about parenting
    I Heart My Little A-Holes: A bunch of holy-crap moments no one ever told you about parenting
    Audiobook3 hours

    I Heart My Little A-Holes: A bunch of holy-crap moments no one ever told you about parenting

    Written by Karen Alpert

    Narrated by Karen Alpert

    4/5

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    About this audiobook

    Following the success of Go the F**k to Sleep, Confessions of a Scary Mommy, and Ketchup Is a Vegetable, a collection of funny, warm, and charmingly profane tales from the frontlines of parenthood by the author of the popular Baby Sideburns blog.

    Once upon a time you and your partner had a perfect life: dinners out, weekend mornings cuddling in bed, brunch with friends. Then you gave birth to a poop machine (or two). Now, it's all about the pediatrician, breast pumps, princess dresses, and minivans. And discovering that your pride and joy is actually a little A-hole.

    When your son wakes you up at 3:00 A.M. because he wants to watch Caillou, he's an a-hole. When your daughter outlines every corner of your living room with a purple crayon, she's an a-hole. When your rug rats purposely paint the kitchen ceiling with their smoothies, they're a-holes. At times like these, it's only natural to want to kill them (or yourself). But it's against the law (and there's the suicide hotline). Plus, there's that whole loving them more than anything in the whole world thing.

    In I Heart My Little A-Holes, Karen Alpert shares hilarious stories, lists, and deep thoughts on the joys and horrors of raising children. Accompanied by cheery illustrations and photos I Heart My Little A-Holes will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherHarperAudio
    Release dateApr 8, 2014
    ISBN9780062343147
    Author

    Karen Alpert

    Karen Alpert loves her family, chocolate and writing, in that order. So when she’s not taking care of her kiddos or drinking Hershey’s syrup straight from the bottle, she’s probably working on her blog Baby Sideburns where she entertains hundreds of thousands of stressed out parents every day. She is a New York Times bestselling author and also an expert nagger who relentlessly badgers her husband until he finally breaks down and does what she wants.

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    Reviews for I Heart My Little A-Holes

    4/5

    177 ratings102 reviews

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    • 3/5
      Great book, awesome characters. I didn't like the parts where it went way back into history.
    • 4/5
      Excellent story about mental illness and the effects on a whole family. A bit long and one I could put down and pick back up, but very well written.
    • 4/5
      Traumatic read... the story of twins, one of them a schizophrenic. It's the story of how one deals with a 'broken' loved one, healing from dysfunctional family ties, and the realization that we're all broken somehow... even if the cracks don't visibly show.
    • 5/5
      Honest. I think I owed at least three times during this book. Twice from laughing and once just for solidarity. Hugs to you, Baby Sideburns.
    • 5/5
      Son of a timid woman, stepson of a hard man, identical twin of a paranoid schizophrenic...Dominick Birdsey is both a sympathetic yet unlikeable protagonist, if that's even possible. He's so angry at weakness but doesn't stand up for it. Instead, he tramples upon it, takes advantage of it, allows himself to gain from it. However, as the story moves along and as he suffers through exceedingly difficult trials, there are people placed in his path that challenge him to become better. And he does. It's poignant. It's slow. It's certainly the growth process that we see in real life rather than the quick fix we find in many novels. It's painful to read but told so beautifully that I can't do anything but recommend it. I've become a true Wally Lamb fan.
    • 2/5
      Did not particularly enjoy this book, but it was an Oprah selection if you like those.
    • 1/5
      I didn't finish this book as it became more and more vulgar. I guess that's what I get for reading an Oprah pick.
    • 3/5
      2.5 starsLamb writes the psychoanalytic process so well. However, this book bogged down with unnecessary detail (the grandfather's diary, for example).Twin brothers, one of whom is schizophrenic, struggle to find individual identities. Tom commits a horrific act of self-mutilation and Dominick struggles to "save" Tom - spiraling out of control himself. Only when Dominick can come to grips with his anger (at Tom, at his stepfather, at his late mother, at his grandfather, at his "missing" father) can he ultimately forgive those closest to him - and himself. The ending is a little too neat.
    • 5/5
      Awesome
    • 5/5
      What can you say about a novel that starts out with a suicide, includes a monkey with an almost incestuous relationship, and a young man who comes of age, along with the other characters who mature through the story? This one is a keeper to reread in my old age.
    • 5/5
      An all-time fave!
    • 2/5
      I felt about this the same way I felt about Lamb's She's Come Undone.
    • 3/5
      Definitely not as good as his first book and very difficult at times, but overall a good solid novel. It was awfully depressing at time and the main character was thoroughly unlikable for a good chunk of the book; but the theme of redemption brought both Dominick and me around. It was not an easy book, but it rang true in that it showed the nuance of life - nothing is simply black and white; everything in life has shades of grey.
    • 5/5
      This is a great book about the true-ness of motherhood. Absolutely loved it and laughed a lot as she described some of the stories. Highly recommend this book for new moms or any mom - maybe not an expecting mom as to not scare them.
    • 5/5
      This is one of those books that is a book with a capital "B". This has two stories going at the same time, wonderful writing, great characters..... it's just got it all. I was actually glad that this book was so long because I enjoyed every page of this one.
    • 4/5
      A sprawling and fascinating three generation family history, which was hard to put down. Deals with themes of self-forgiveness, as well as forgiveness of others.

      My only minor complaints were that it all wrapped up a little too neatly at the end, and also that it bordered on schlocky very occasionally - specifically thinking of the psychiatrist sessions

      But it was gripping and moving, for sure. May read another
    • 3/5
      Great book, awesome characters. I didn't like the parts where it went way back into history.
    • 4/5
      I had this book on my shelf for forever and after reading some reviews decided to finally read it. I wasn't disappointed, it was pretty good, just not as great as everyone else seemed to think. The characters were good and so was the story line, it was just soooo long!
    • 5/5
      What a story!
    • 3/5
      While some chapters made me eager to read on, others just at times felt long and draggy.Overall its not bad and if I was Dominick, I don't think I would have been able to manage thru like he did...really opened my eyes to real ppl who face such situations.
    • 5/5
      This is one of those books that is a book with a capital "B". This has two stories going at the same time, wonderful writing, great characters..... it's just got it all. I was actually glad that this book was so long because I enjoyed every page of this one.
    • 3/5
      I LIVE in a similar situation, so I really related to the story, it tamed my heart, and made me feel I wasn't alone in the world and having to deal with the mental illness of my closest of kin.
    • 2/5
      While Mr Lamb is a very good author, the subject matter seems to lean to the dark side of life and 900 pages of it is TOO much!
    • 5/5
      This is an amazing book. I have been so moved by the writing and can hardly believe that Dominick is a fictional character as his struggles felt so real. This is a very powerful piece of fiction that I highly recommend and have to give 10 out of 10 to. Now I am off to find more works by Wally Lamb.
    • 5/5
      This is an excellent, well written novel. I highly recommend this book! The character development is exceptional.
    • 3/5
      Haunting, chilling. Years later the premise of this book still breaks my heart.
    • 5/5
      What an emotional rollercoaster. A truely wonderful story written in a way that draws the audience in.
    • 4/5
      I wasn't sure if I wanted to read this book. At a whoppin' 897 pages, I wasn't sure if I wanted to get into it if it wasn't worth it. But some people in my online book group encouraged me to read it and it was definitely worth it.It is told from the point of view of Dominick, whose twin brother is schizophrenic. He tells of their lives growing up with an abusive step-father, their present lives as Dominick fights for his brother's mental and physical safety, and the life of their grandfather who was a Sicilian immigrant.
    • 5/5
      Another favorite author!
    • 5/5
      I picked this out from a book exchange in French Polynesia and read it during my vacation. It is massive, but doesn't seem so once you start reading. It's one of those novels that is so vivid, you might dream about the characters. You'll won't want to put this book down for long, so it's best to read when you have a good chunk of time to devote to it.