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A Nameless Witch
A Nameless Witch
A Nameless Witch
Audiobook10 hours

A Nameless Witch

Written by A. Lee Martinez

Narrated by Ann Marie Lee

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

4/5

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About this audiobook

Being born undead can have its disadvantages, such as eternal youth and flawless beauty-things most unsuitable for a witch. Hiding behind the guise of a grimy old crone, the witch is content living outside Fort Stalwart with her unlikely band of allies: a troll named Gwurm, an enchanted broom, and a demonic duck named Newt. She leads a simple life filled with spells, potions, and the occasional curse.

So when a White Knight arrives at Fort Stalwart, the witch knows that her days of peace are at an end. The Knight is just days in front of a horde of ravenous goblings, and Fort Stalwart lies right in the horde's path. But the goblings are just the first wave of danger, and soon the witch and the Knight must combine forces on a perilous quest to stop a mad sorcerer from destroying the world.
LanguageEnglish
Release dateOct 28, 2014
ISBN9781494576318
A Nameless Witch
Author

A. Lee Martinez

A. Lee Martinez enjoys juggling, origami, skulking, and time travel.

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Reviews for A Nameless Witch

Rating: 3.889121389121339 out of 5 stars
4/5

239 ratings19 reviews

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  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    A Nameless Witch is yet another of Martinez' humorous novels awash in the supernatural. The humor in this book is more quiet than his previous two and tends toward the wry.A nameless witch is on a quest ... a quest of vengeance and, hopefully, self discovery. But mostly vengeance. She takes along her contentious familiar, a demon duck. Ok, let me say that again. A demon duck. With a bad case of blood lust. As my husband noted at dinner the other night, this duck is probably the funniest duck in all of recent literature. And his name is Newt.Along the way, a troll and a knight join the quest. The troll is rather endearing and the knight is virtuous. He is a White Knight. A dark skinned White Knight to be specific.Nameless is a very beautiful witch. Of course, everyone knows that witches look like hags ... right? So every attempt is made by Nameless to hide her incredible beauty underneath rags and dirt and a carefully placed wart or two. Wyst, the White Knight, is able to see beneath the hag routine and falls in love. She too is smitten, but knows she must hide her increasing attraction to the knight in order to protect his virtue and his life. You see, Nameless is a witch who can not tell the difference between "a smitten heart or accursed appetite." She is afraid she will lose control in the heat of passion and eat him, literally. Ok, so moving on ...One of my favorite bits pokes fun at the old Norwegian tale of the Three Billy Goats Gruff. The questing party comes to a bridge guarded by a pack of surly elves, goblins and ogres who demand a toll. "As a troll, Gwurm knew something about bridge-tolling" so, of course, he negotiates. Various demands and threats are made by the leader of the surly bunch who ends his diatribe with a laugh meant to send chills down the spines of the hearers. Unfortunately, "elf voices are terrible for sinister cackling." Not in the least intimidated, Newt asks: "Can I kill him?"On the more thoughtful side, Martinez includes some passages like this one: "Your conscience is your misery...." "Conscience is my burden, but all worthwhile gifts have their price...." "But it could be so simple" the ghoul hissed. "Why hold on to that which only makes your life difficult?" "Because life is complicated and difficult. Anyone who says otherwise hasn't truly lived."Martinez throws in a few philosophical musings in A Nameless Witch making it a bit more thoughtful than his previous books, but it remains overall a dark comedy.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Didn't finish. Maybe it was the narrator, maybe the writing itself. It just seemed a lot of telling and exposition. I made it to chapter 4 before moving on.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    It was just a touch too long, but full of great things to imagine.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    I cannot express how great this book was! I was hoping for one ending and the author gave me the ending I needed, not the ending I wanted but still, it was quite an amazing ending.

    This book was great start to finish and I look forward to the next one by a Lee that’s on my saved list!
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    Out of all A. Lee Martinez's novels, this one has to be the weakest. The premise sounds exciting, and funny. A witch with no name, cursed by being immortal, undead, and drop-dead gorgeous. The first few pages are even more promising, as you learn that her witchly tutor teaches her that being pretty is no good for a witch, and then you meet a demon trapped in a duck's body, who is a riot. Then the old witch dies, and we're left alone with our nameless heroine. And it all goes downhill. You see our heroine just isn't a very interesting person. She's not good, not evil, not torn between, she's ... boring. She wanders through the plot because, quite frankly, she has nothing better to do. She's humorless (except when tormenting the duck), and almost soulless. She just doesn't care much about anything. Along the way, she discovers the true twist to her curse. She's has a penchant for human flesh... especially hunky male flesh. And then along comes the first man she truly desires... Wyst of the West. And, naturally, he's a white knight, the pillar of all that is good. Our heroine must choose between corrupting him (and possibly devouring him in the process) or remaining above her baser instincts. This sounds promising, but it falls flat. The heroine just doesn't seem that involved in the struggle, or when she does, it comes off with that cheesy romance tang to it. Suddenly, you'll think you're book has been switched for a Harlequin Romance for a few pages!The supporting cast tries to make up for the heroine's apparent lack of interest in the story. Her companions, the demon-duck Newt, and a sweet troll named Gwurm, give a lot of life to the book. And the main villain, Souless Gustav, is actually a really fantastic character, and I would've liked more time with him. But when your protagonist is flat, the book falls flat, and Gwurm, Gustav, and Newt can't save "A Nameless Witch" from its own devastatingly dull heroine. I'd go so far as to say skip it altogether, even for fans of Martinez.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I really enjoyed this whimsical adventure that was reminiscent of The Princess Bride. I adored the quirky characters and enjoyed the plot. My only complaint was that it felt a little rushed; so much packed in for such a short story. It did feel a touch repetitive when mentioning her lust/cannibalism and her need to always hide her beauty. I also felt it could have had a 'happy ending' for the star crossed lovers without it feeling cheesy.
    As for the nameless witch, I was feeling either Serena or Willow...

    But in the end, I still loved the journey.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Synopsis: Being born undead can have its disadvantages, such as eternal youth and flawless beauty ---things most unsuitable for a witch. Hiding behind the guise of a grimy old crone, the witch is content living outside Fort Stalwart with her unlikely band of allies: a troll named Gwurm, an enchanted broom, and a demonic duck named Newt. She leads a simple life filled with spells, potions, and the occasional curse. So when a White Knight arrives at Fort Stalwart, the witch knows her days of peace are at an end. The Knight is just days in front of a horde of ravenous goblings, and Fort Stalwart lies right in the horde's path. But the goblings are just the first wave of danger, and soon the witch and the Knight must combine forces on a perilous quest to stop a mad sorcerer from destroying the world.Review: Well okay. Not the best book I've ever read nor the worst, it did keep my attention, but I could stop reading in the middle of a chapter with no trouble.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Love this book. The heroine is thoroughly likeable. and Who doesn't like demonic ducks?
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Love Martinez's work! Another good book.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    A nameless witch, a demon duck, a troll and a White Knight on a quest for either revenge or a horrible death. It took me a while to warm up to this book and it's characters, it was a very slow build, which seems different from most of his other books which are usually much more humorous and fast paced but in the end I appreciated the slower pace, the slower build to the end of the story. I never really ended up feeling very connected to the characters or to the story, they felt to unreal, almost stereotypical in a way, which fits a fairytale I believe. One thing I did love was the system of magic in this world, it had rules but not very strict ones unlike many magic systems in fantasy worlds, it felt more fluid and natural. A part of nature which seemed to be a major theme of the book. Not one of my favorites of his books but well worth the read.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    This is a quiet book that follows the traditional fantasy quest storyline, but the main characters' roles are filled with non-traditional beings.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    This is not a heavy book, rather a light read, but there is plenty to like: words of wisdom, humor, triumph of good over evil, and an interesting take on magic.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Review: The Witch wasn't named until the end, and even only she knows what it is. It was interesting to see how that was pulled off, but then again, this book was written in first person. That might have been my beef right there because I'm not a big fan of first person. Only one first person book has ever caught my attention but it won't be published until November.

    The book certainly didn't have flat characters. The demon duck was a true demon, but looked like an ordinary duck. When it came to bloodshed, you did not want to mess with him. He had literally torn people apart, one time ripping out the spine of someone on accident. It was an accident, he was too strong to be careful. The witch was the MC and she concentrated heavily on being witchly. The only thing that seemed to run through her mind was how to look ever so witchly and act ever so witchly.

    Romance? Oh wow, yeah, maybe that's why I wasn't so keen. Martinez does Fantasy great, but Romance isn't his bag, nor was it intended to be. The nameless Witch sadly cannot fall in love without wanting to eat the person she likes. Yes, that's right. She's a cannibal. Although technically she never ate a villager, she often looked at them and sized them up. However, she plays her role adequately as a witch and through it all we get to see just how different but useful an undead witch can be.

    Overall, it was still an awesome book. There's a gobling war in it, parts that'll make you a little queasy but not enough. (Parts that will make you say Eww! though.) I just don't feel I connected with the MC enough for some reason, while I practically loved Monster to death in his other book. Overall, it's worth three stars.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I just wasn't into this one. The characters, a bit flat, the evil guy, a bit sad, the Demon, annoying. The humor, too dry as to be non-existent. It was an interesting premise and I'm glad I read it.I think this author is hit or miss.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    "A tale of vengeance, true love, and cannibalism"-The cover blurb says it all.In some ways this book reminds me of William Goldman's The Princess Bride, which is also another tongue in cheek fairy tale with an engaging core story.Overall, this story has an interesting plot, an endearing character (and side characters) with strong character development. Recommend.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Not as good as Gil's All Fright Diner, but still funny and an enjoyable read. The witch's "familiar" is a duck who is hysterical and has a bit more personality than the main character.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Not my favorite of Martinez. Although I can't put my finger on why this is. I much preferred In the Company of Ogres and Gil's All Fright Diner. This one is much less smart-assed
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Our heroin, the nameless witch, starts her life shunned by her family because she is cursed with undead beauty and ghoulish desires. She is taken in by a witch and learns how to be a good witch. She has many comical friends; her familiar is a demonic duck, her broomstick becomes animated and she meets a brave and kind troll. She falls in love with Wyst of the West, a valorous White Knight. Together they travel on a quest to save reality from a mad illusion welding sorcerer. This book was humorous and a quick read. As with most journeys, our heroin learns more from the adventure than from the confrontation with the sorcerer. There are many tests along the way. In one trial, she must figure out who she really is; an undead ghoul or a good witch. She also learns what it is like to love and be loved.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    What's it like to be undead? For the Nameless Witche, cursed with deadly beauty and an appetite for human flesh, it means being cut in half doesn't really slow you down much. With her familiar, a demon-possessed, foul-mouthed, homicidal talking duck, her faithful broom and a troll companion, the Nameless Witch is content to live near Fort Stalwart, learning about humans and attempting not to eat them. But fate has other plans. A gobling (aptly namedcreatures- they eat everything in sight) horde is on the march - straight toward the fort. To make matters worse, the White Knight who warns of the horde's approach is both dreamy and especially tasty looking. What's a girl to do when she can't decide which impulse to answer - make love or make lunch?!Martinez's humor is tongue in cheek and often twisted, but still a riot. If you enjoy your fantasy edgy, sharp of wit, and more than a bit gory, give this one a try.