There Is No Good Card for This: What To Say and Do When Life Is Scary, Awful, and Unfair to People You Love
Written by Kelsey Crowe and Emily McDowell
Narrated by Xe Sands
4.5/5
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About this audiobook
The creator of the viral hit "Empathy Cards" teams up with a compassion expert to produce a guide to help you increase your emotional intelligence and learn how to offer comfort and support when someone you know is in pain.
When someone you know is hurting, you want to let her know that you care. But many people don’t know what words to use—or are afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing. This thoughtful, instructive guide, from empathy expert Dr. Kelsey Crowe and greeting card maverick Emily McDowell, blends well-researched, actionable advice with the no-nonsense humor of McDowell's immensely popular Empathy Cards, to help you feel confident in connecting with anyone experiencing grief, loss, illness, or any other difficult situation.
Written in a how-to, relatable, we’ve-all-been-that-deer-in-the-headlights kind of way, There Is No Good Card for This isn’t a spiritual treatise on how to make you a better person or a scientific argument about why compassion matters. It is a guide to effective compassion that takes you, step by step by step, past the paralysis of thinking about someone in a difficult time to actually doing something (or nothing) with good judgment instead of fear.
There Is No Good Card for This features workbook exercises, sample dialogs, and real-life examples from Dr. Crowe’s research, including her popular "Empathy Bootcamps" that give people tools for building relationships when it really counts. Whether it’s a coworker whose mother has died, a neighbor whose husband has been in a car accident, or a friend who is seriously ill, There Is No Good Card for This teaches you how to be the best friend you can be to someone in need.
Kelsey Crowe
Kelsey Crowe, Ph.D., founded Help Each Other Out and is a breast cancer survivor. She earned her doctorate in social welfare at the University of California, Berkeley, and teaches social work at California State University. Kelsey is originally from Brooklyn and lives in San Francisco with her husband and daughter. You can find her online at www.helpeachotherout.org.
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Reviews for There Is No Good Card for This
43 ratings7 reviews
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This book is -chefs kiss- perfect. I wish so badly that I could get everyone to read this book. And I wish even more that the people around me had read this book when my sister died.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Perfectly concise and wonderfully written. I will be recommending this to all of my couples clients as a marriage and family therapist.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Great book to listen to for every one! I enjoyed the lessons and practical tips included in this book
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This is an excellent resource! I’ve already ordered a copy for myself to have for future shitty situations. Highly recommend everyone read it!
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Great book to learn how to not be a socially awkward weirdo to people who are going through something rough. There Is No Good Card For This goes over the different ways to show your condolences and care at a variety of levels so you can reach out to close friends to that person you see sometimes that you don't know their name.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Best for: Those who have friends or family going through a rough time, or who someday will have friends or family going through a rough time (so, all of us).In a nutshell: Dr. Crowe and Ms. McDowell provide practical ways to be there for the people you care about when they are experiencing the worst.Line that sticks with me: “Just because you have experienced the same thing as someone else does not mean you know how they feel.”Why I chose it: Two reasons: I write my own modern etiquette blog, and I get a lot of questions on this topic; and I’ve had a lot of friends go through some really rough times lately and want to get better at being there for them.Review: What a great idea for a book! It’s easy to read, full of practical advice, reassuring stories, and serious examples that show how you can go wrong and how you can do better.But it isn’t about shaming your efforts or instilling the fear that you’ll say the wrong thing. In fact, from the very beginning, the authors are clear that while yes, it is possible that you’ll screw up (and they go into detail in the last section, with example and language to avoid), you really need to set that fear aside and just do what you can.I think probably the most helpful bit is the “Empathy Menu.” It’s basically four pages of different roles you can take on to be supportive. I appreciate it because the point is to focus on what you’re good at being able to offer, as opposed to trying to do something that ultimately won’t work. Don’t offer to cook if you can’t or don’t have time. It’s okay to be the person who can provide child care but not the person who can put together a great playlist for them to listen to while undergoing a medical procedure.It is inevitable that people we love (as well as ourselves) will experience something awful at some point in their lives. I suggest taking a day or two to read this so you’re prepared, and then keep it on the shelf so you can refer to it when you just aren’t sure what you can do for your friend or family member.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5How to be empathetic. What type of empathy is your strong suit. When is it okay to say "I'm Sorry" and not okay. What type of a listener are you? I loved this book. Super helpful when you have that awkward moment that you don't know how to respond to someone.