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Noir: A Novel
Noir: A Novel
Noir: A Novel
Audiobook9 hours

Noir: A Novel

Written by Christopher Moore

Narrated by Johnny Heller

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

4/5

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About this audiobook

The absurdly outrageous, sarcastically satiric, and always entertaining New York Times bestselling author Christopher Moore returns in finest madcap form with this zany noir set on the mean streets of post-World War II San Francisco, and featuring a diverse cast of characters, including a hapless bartender; his Chinese sidekick; a doll with sharp angles and dangerous curves; a tight-lipped Air Force general; a wisecracking waif; Petey, a black mamba; and many more.

San Francisco. Summer, 1947. A dame walks into a saloon . . .

It’s not every afternoon that an enigmatic, comely blonde named Stilton (like the cheese) walks into the scruffy gin joint where Sammy "Two Toes" Tiffin tends bar. It’s love at first sight, but before Sammy can make his move, an Air Force general named Remy arrives with some urgent business. ’Cause when you need something done, Sammy is the guy to go to; he’s got the connections on the street.

Meanwhile, a suspicious flying object has been spotted up the Pacific coast in Washington State near Mount Rainer, followed by a mysterious plane crash in a distant patch of desert in New Mexico that goes by the name Roswell. But the real weirdness is happening on the streets of the City by the Bay.

When one of Sammy’s schemes goes south and the Cheese mysteriously vanishes, Sammy is forced to contend with his own dark secrets—and more than a few strange goings on—if he wants to find his girl.

Think Raymond Chandler meets Damon Runyon with more than a dash of Bugs Bunny and the Looney Tunes All Stars. It’s all very, very Noir. It’s all very, very Christopher Moore.

LanguageEnglish
PublisherHarperAudio
Release dateApr 17, 2018
ISBN9780062803115
Author

Christopher Moore

Christopher Moore is the author of seventeen previous novels, including Shakespeare for Squirrels, Noir, Secondhand Souls, Sacré Bleu, Fool, and Lamb. He lives in San Francisco, California.

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Reviews for Noir

Rating: 3.9787499205 out of 5 stars
4/5

400 ratings42 reviews

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  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    2 things.

    1.) This is my very audiobook. A friend and coworker introduced me to this app, and so far my experience was pretty good.

    2.) Now, about the book. I was very pleasantly surprised by this book and how good it is. This is my very first introduction to Chris Moore’s writing. I work in a bookstore, and like everyone else, I also have my favorite genre that I read from a lot. For me it’s history, biography or anything involving history (like historical fiction and alternative history which combines sci-fi and some different time period like steampunk and deco punk as an example).

    I fell in love with Film Noir since the first time I saw the movie Dark Passage with Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall. Then, over the years I was thinking how it’d be cool to see if this genre exists in the world of literature. I already had 2 authors lined up that Moore mentions at the end of this book. Raymond Chandler and James Cain. And he opened a whole bunch of others that I now have saved for future listening.

    Like I already mentioned above, this is my very first audiobook. Last time I listened to a book in audio (cassette format) was when I was a 6 year old kid. Since then, I’ve been reading books and have been accustomed reading books. So I’m not accustomed to listening to a book because of that. I decided to sign up with Scribd simply because I don’t always want to listen to music when I go on my daily walks or bike rides or when I go to work. And sometimes, I don’t want to listen to every day street life around me either. There’s also the fact that I don’t always want to grab my hard copy books with me on my walks or bike rides. So I decided to try this title as my very first audiobook experience.

    It was a bit of a challenge because I have to learn to comprehend in a bit of a different way. There’s things I learned that I shouldn’t do if I want to really hear the story and learn what it’s about. So there’s definitely distractions that I have to stay away from like checking Facebook messages and the likes. But it’s a good challenge.

    Because I was falling victim to distractions every once in a while, it felt like the story was going all over the place. Things did come together in the end and listening to the list of characters and locations and how Moore was inspired from the history of San Francisco to write this book, really helped.

    I’ve really been intrigued with San Francisco for a long time. I’ve only been through there twice in my life, and both times were just over night stays going to and coming back from San Diego. So, other than experiencing heading down the Golden Gate Bridge, I really didn’t get the amount of time that I really wanted to really explore the city. But I have read a bit about it. I’ve read Simon Winchester’s book A Crack in the Edge of the World which is a phenomenal historical account of the city and the 1906 earthquake and fires. I hope to one day visit that city again and to really explore it.

    1 person found this helpful

  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    I always love a Christopher Moore story. They lighten my day and draw me in within moments. I can't wait to see what he comes up with next. As always, this did not fail to please.

    1 person found this helpful

  • Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
    1/5
    For some reason the audio book failed to play correctly and I couldn’t play the last three chapters. Hope you have better luck
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    A perky noir as the author states. I'm a fan of Moor but not this genre.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Very good - worth listening just for “bite bite bite “.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    3.5 stars.
    Funny in bits, too long. Not noir in any realistic way, implausible story line..
    nice description of the 1948 San Francisco
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    exceptional fun. so deeply well written, engaging and entertaining. I can't wait to read more of his work.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Amazing Book!!!!! Dont miss it , Funny clever e very well written. The caracteres are iconic, i warn you dont miss it
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    One of my top three favorite audiobooks in the genre of fiction. Incredibly well told, amazing tempo, and wonderfully humorous.
  • Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
    1/5
    I didn't like it. Not his typical story. Very little humor
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Haha. Very funny!

    In fact, absolutely hysterical, not to mention thoroughly entertaining. Highly recommended, especially if you feel the need to laugh your tuchus off! And what better narrator than Johnny Heller to top off the whole shebang. Hahaha!!
    ???
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    There are some books that do such heat homage to the original themes that they become excellent works of that theme themselves.

    Noir never takes itself 100% seriously, yet manages to toe the line between parody and sincere respect for the genre expertly, cementing itself as a wonderful addition to the Noir universe.

    1 person found this helpful

  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Somewhat choppy, yet delightfully funny romp into post-WWII era San Francisco. When Sammy Two-toes meets the Cheese, things get complicated, especially when she goes missing. Soon there are men-in-black, a snake and a cast of delightful characters like Thelonious "Lone" Jones and Eddie "Moo shoes" Shu, and Milo, the non-driving cab driver to contend with. Rather wacky, and occasionally cringe-worthy, the novel is written with a disclaimer that "This story is set in 1947 America. The language and attitudes of the narrators and characters regarding race, culture, and gender are contemporary to that time and may be disturbing to some."
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    A remarkably well researched hat-tip to the noir novels of the past laced throughout with Moore's trademark quirky, filthy, ridiculous humor. Fair warning, in capturing the voice of the 1940s, he captures it all including some language and attitudes about race and gender that no longer fly. All of it is clearly made out to be as ridiculous as it is, but the presence could be stressful for some readers.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Enjoyed this and I’m a big fan of Chandler and Dashiell Hammett, just know going in that while sometimes it feels like them it’s really really not.

    The fog lay spread across the city like a drowned whore—damp, cold, smelling of salt and diesel—a sea-sodden streetwalker who’d just bonked a tugboat . . .

    As the first line to a chapter in a noir book how could you not want to read on.

    See, Chinatown is a mystery wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in a wonton, and fried. Which is to say, I never even knew any of these alleys existed until Moo led me down them.

    This is not Nicholson’s Chinatown, this place is all Moore with his quirky characters, outrageous plot and just plain fun. Even the author tells us

    What I ended up with is essentially “Perky Noir,” a lot closer to Damon Runyon meets Bugs Bunny than Raymond Chandler meets Jim Thompson . . .

    The problem is where to shelve this SF, Mystery, Historical Fiction?
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This had some great characters, was laugh-out-loud funny many times, and a little slow sometimes. I would suggest it on audio (if you're into audio), because the accents are great and really help to set the mood. If you're in the middle of it and wondering about the strange point of view changes, they become explained later.This is probably my 6th or 7th book from Moore and while it didn't blow me away, it's definitely worth a read, some brilliant touches and it's not that long so even if you're not that enthralled, you'll be done before you know it.3.5 Stars
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Noir, by Christopher Moore 3.5/5

    Noir is a book that aspires to be something it’s not. It’s not a noir exactly. It’s not a comedy like his other novels are, although it is funny in places. It’s not an alien adventure story either. It tries to be these things, but ultimately fails. I liked it. It was slow all the way through and that made it a tough slog. I stalled in the middle because I thought I was busy with other things, but in retrospect, it was because the book wasn’t great.

    The characters were well rounded, especially the main character. The love interest wasn’t developed as well and most of the secondary characters were flat. It was plotted fine. There were a couple of flashbacks that developed things.

    The setting was the most important character in the novel. It was obviously well researched and well presented. The idioms and dialog popped. This was the best element of the novel.

    The conflict was slow coming and anticlimactic, especially considering Moore’s other works. It should have been madcap scenes and rising action, but that was in short supply. I did like the resolution and felt it added to the story and ended things well.

    Every author is allowed a dud now and then and this was one of Christopher Moore’s. I’m not sure if this is the first in a series, but let’s hope it improves.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    This was one of the most enjoyable and fun books I have read in quite some time. Listening to it as an audiobook added an extra level of pleasure with the accents used by Mr. Heller in his narration. At several points in this book, I was literally laughing out loud and found myself replaying certain portions in my mind as I grasped at the visions in my mind's eye. It's hard to classify this one but I would have to say it's a little mystery, a little Dick Tracy, a little sci-fi all wrapped up and presented with a ton of humor. Several of the interactions in the story (in particular, the visit to Lone Jones' mother) had me in absolute stitches. All I can say about this one is MORE, MORE!
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Set after WW2 in San Francisco while tending bar Sammy meets a lovely lady with the name of Stilton and falls hard. Sammy doesn’t have much but he hustles and is working on a scheme with a snake and then his boss taps him for a job of getting some fresh faced girls for a general to bring to a secret society function. The two business ventures cross in a way that only can happen in one of Christopher Moore’s books. Fast moves and lots of driving around the San Francisco area will get all of the problems fixed and maybe even end in a happy future for the couple.


    Digital review copy provided by the publisher through Edelweiss
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Another terrific Christopher Moore book! I especially liked the noir style. Having grown up in the Bay Area in the 60s and 70s, I really enjoyed all the references to places that that have are just a memory, like Vanessi's.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    1947 San Francisco--atmospheric, picks up the flavor of the place and the time, like a hard-boiled detective novel without the PI. Sammy works as a bartender and has a secret that his boss knows and is willing to use to control him. He meets Stilton at the bar where she comes after her shift at the diner. Sammy is always looking to make money so he has a cast of characters that he runs schemes with. Sometimes they work, sometimes not so good. I loved these characters. Sammy and Stilton are some pair but they work. Eddie Moo Shoe and his uncle in Chinatown are hilarious. The story has some quirks in the beginning--Men in Black, UFO's, a general looking to join a certain club--but the craziness picks up in the last third and it is great! Sammy and Eddie and their schemes made me laugh. I delighted in how all the people in Sammy's main group have each others' backs. They are there for each other and, if they an make money on it, they are definitely in. This is fun! Just as good as any other Christopher Moore book.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Like most of Moore's writing this was quite fun. He gives a little twist to a genre and makes it all his own. This one involves poisonous snakes, extra-terrestrials, government agents and a love story. Johnny Heller, the narrator, did a great job. I really enjoyed the author's afterword about all the research that went into this book.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Noir was my first experience with the writing of humorist Christopher Moore, and I was not disappointed. In fact, it’s been a few days since I finished reading the book, and every now and then I still catch myself chuckling at the memory of some of the wild and whacky things that happened in it. Although I’m unable to comment on the way this novel compares with the author’s other work (I’ve come across some reviews from longtime fans that mention that it feels different), l can nonetheless understand why many readers find his stories entertaining.The book opens in San Francisco, 1947. Protagonist Sammy “Two Toes” Tiffin is working as a bartender at Sal’s Saloon, when a beautiful blonde named Stilton (like “the Cheese”, which is henceforth how she will be known to Sammy) breezes in through the door and captures his heart. However, the romance will have to wait, because soon afterwards, Sammy’s boss puts him in contact with an Air Force general who desperately needs his help. Certain “goods and services” are required at an upcoming function being held at the Bohemian Club, and Sammy, with his street smarts and connections, is in the perfect position to make it all happen.But then, the Cheese disappears, and Sammy grows worried. More troubles also begin mounting as some of his other harebrained schemes proceed to spiral out of control, resulting in poisonous vipers, dead bodies, and the arrival of black-suited government men bedecked in dark sunglasses. Subsequently, when Sammy sets out on his search for the Cheese, he inadvertently stumbles into a loony conspiracy involving a mysterious flying object spotted over Mount Rainer, topped off by an unexplained plane crash in the desert near a town called Roswell, New Mexico.Part satire and part homage, this novel feels like a zany, breathless love letter to the noir genre. Its influence can be seen everything, from the cover to the dialogue, attitudes, and mannerisms of the characters. It’s a bit like being transported straight into a 1950s classic noir film, with the tone and style of the writing giving the story’s post-war San Francisco an authentic flavor. Moore also provides fascinating commentary on the inspiration for his setting, as well as some of his experiences and the research he did into the culture, history, and environment of the city’s vibrant Chinatown.That being said, Noir also has the feel of a tongue-in-cheek satire, which apparently is something of a specialty for the author. Certain elements are done in an over-the-top way to emphasize or poke fun at some of the genre’s more distinctive features, including larger-than-life heroes and coquettish femme fatales. As a result, rather than dark and tense, the atmosphere has been replaced by an eccentric, madcap energy that pervades the whole book, so that you have whacky things like chapters written from the perspective of an all-knowing snake, space aliens being smuggled away in rumble seats in the dead of night, and sexy beautiful women with nicknames like “the Cheese”. Noir is not really “noir” as such, in that it doesn’t really fit the style or the tone of the genre, and yet, the overall mood is still very much there, featuring a strong undercurrent of conflict and despondency in spite of some of the sillier themes.At the end of the day, I suppose what really matters is that I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it a lot. Humor being such a subjective beast, I wasn’t sure if my tastes would mesh well with Christopher Moore’s style, but it appears I no longer have to be concerned on that front. If it means getting more of the same laughs and cleverness I found in Noir, I’m definitely on board to read more of the author’s work.
  • Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
    1/5
    Not a book for me. It was kind of amusing, but the time period it's set in allows for too much that I can't deal with. Plus, it was kind of slow. So... on to the next book.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Christopher Moore is one of those authors that when he is good, he is really really good, but when he's bad, its unreadable. Luckily, this is book is in the good category - probably one of my favorites by him. We have a bartender forced detective in San Francisco - whose boss forces him into a scheme of finding girls for a big league party for the rich and exclusive... but things don't go as planned.Sammy's girlfriend disappears, and while tracking her down, he finds a creature that isn't from this world. A general trying to get into an exclusive club screws up majorly, and a very poisonous snake gets loose.The story is fun, doesn't take itself seriously, but is well written. The author even manages to throw in a bit of social justice, without going overboard and without it taking over the whole story.Overall, very well done.
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    Couldn't really get into this book. Seemed like Moore was trying too hard to be Chandler with colorful similes sprinkled on every page and knock out dames, and hard boiled protagonist.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    A beautiful blonde walks into a San Francisco gin joint, and Sammy "Two Toes" Tiffin is suddenly smitten by the mysterious woman named Stilton (after the cheese). Thus begins Christopher Moore's tale of Noir. It's 1947, and the Allies have won the war. Now regular folks are scraping by and trying to get through a rough and dangerous world, and hoping to maybe earn a bit of dough on the side. Sammy is a man with a lot of plans and schemes - Sammy knows people - he's friends with all sorts around town, and for that he is dragged into a plan by his boss at the saloon to help an Air Force General get into a swanky nob club. But Sammy has several irons in the fire and as his plans for a quick buck begin to unravel, Sammy soon learns how closely all these strange events are connected together. As his new girl, the Cheese, goes missing Sammy must avoid being caught by the mysterious guys wearing black suits and sunglasses as he saves the Cheese and uncovers a mystery that is out of this world. I really enjoy Christopher Moore, and Noir does not disappoint. It is a gritty, hard-boiled story filled with many nods, winks, and nudges at classic noir fiction. But it is classic Moore as well, so his Noir is also filled with a lot of sly and witty humor on the side. The combination is a fun-filled adventure that mixes pulp sci-fi with pulp fiction. I swear that Moore makes an attempt to use every bit of noir slang in the story, and the characters are rich and full of life. As the story unfolded I could picture the scenes rolling out like classic film noir, with enough dark humor to cause me to burst out laughing several times. Sammy is the classic noir hero - the regular guy, working a crummy job, and who is trying to do better at life but doing it by the seat of his pants. Into Sammy's life walks the mysterious and sultry Stilton (don't call her Toots), a woman who takes no guff from anybody and who has more secrets than you can shake a stick at. Together they make a great pair, playing off each other and basically making up everything as they go along, hoping to come out okay at the end. The other characters the Moore sprinkles into the mix, from Sal, Sammy's boss and a regular douchbag, to Sammy's friends and ersatz assistants, to the mysterious Men in Black, all make this is fun and entertaining read.I listened to the audio version that was expertly read by Johnny Heller. Heller does a fantastic job of bringing life to all of the characters, and you can hear the influences from Bogart, Cagney, Ladd, and Burr throughout the narration. Heller sets the stage and his voices immerse you into the wonderful world that Moore has created. I highly recommend this entertaining and witty interpretation of the classic noir genre.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Take a slightly dysfunctional bartender, throw in a beautiful dame, a corrupt cop, a deadly snake, a secret society for wealthy men, a general, a couple of men in black, and an alien with a penchant for blowing things up (but mostly cows), set them all in western US in 1947 and you’ve got Noir by Christopher Moore. It’s a zany, action-packed, extremely entertaining send-up of post-war noir and it had me giggling throughout.Thanks to Edelweiss+ and Wm Morrow Publishing for the opportunity to read this book in exchange for an honest review
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    We'd just finished a Nordic Noir mystery on the car drive up from Charleston to Canada, and picked this as our next book. Fantastic. We listened to the audible version, and the reader had the perfect voice for this novel. As much as I enjoyed the novel itself, the afterward by the author was great, and , oddly enough really personal, as I'd read just about everything he mentioned in it for the time, and knew some of the authors. Christopher Moore has yet to disappoint.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Christopher Moore’s fantasy novels have explored a wide variety of topics, from vampires to Shakespeare to Jesus, with his characteristic humor and unique perspective. In his latest outing, Noir, Moore takes on the stereotypical hard-boiled detective stories set in the post-WWII era. At the front of the book is a disclaimer that reminds readers that the story’s historical and cultural context differs greatly from today’s, and that some may find the attitudes and vocabulary of the characters offensive if viewed through a contemporary lens. Sammy “Two Toes” Tiffin is a salty character working a bar in 1947 San Francisco. As in many Noir tales, he encounters a mysterious and alluring femme fatale who saunters into the bar one night, and he is immediately entranced by her. Sammy attempts to continue their flirtation while chasing down a money-making scheme involving poisonous snakes and the elders of Chinatown. His boss also wants him to use his connections to obtain some “company” for a party thrown by a General from the area of Roswell. Of course, with Moore at the helm, things soon spin off into strange and amusing territory, tying together the different character and plot elements. Noir is fast-paced and witty, but probably not Moore’s best. In attempting to parody the hard-boiled genre, he piles on the misogynistic and racial stereotypes he is trying to skewer. Some might find the result to be a bit tiresome and repetitious. Still, Moore is always entertaining and innovative, making Noir a worthwhile addition to a list of summer reads.