Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

An Affair to Dismember
An Affair to Dismember
An Affair to Dismember
Audiobook10 hours

An Affair to Dismember

Written by Elise Sax

Narrated by Stephanie Bentley

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

3.5/5

()

About this audiobook

Three months has been Gladie Burger's limit when it comes to staying in one place. That's why Gladie is more than a little skeptical when her Grandma Zelda-who is more than a little psychic-recruits her into the family's matchmaking business in the quaint small town of Cannes, California. What's more, Gladie is also highly unqualified, having a terrible track record with romance. Still, Zelda is convinced that her granddaughter has her clairvoyant "gift." But when the going gets tough, Gladie wonders if this gift has a return policy.

When Zelda's neighbor drops dead in his kitchen, Gladie is swept into his bizarre family's drama. Despite warnings from the (distractingly gorgeous) chief of police to steer clear of his investigation, Gladie is out to prove that her neighbor's death was murder. It's not too long before she's in way over her head-with the hunky police chief, a dysfunctional family full of possible killers, and yet another mysterious and handsome man, whose attentions she's unable to ignore. Gladie is clearly being pursued-either by true love or by a murderer. Who will catch her first?
LanguageEnglish
Release dateNov 6, 2018
ISBN9781977331007
Author

Elise Sax

USA Today bestselling author Elise Sax writes hilarious happy endings. She worked as a journalist, mostly in Paris, France for many years but always wanted to write fiction. Finally, she decided to go for her dream and write a novel. She was thrilled when An Affair to Dismember, the first in the Matchmaker Series, was sold at auction to Ballantine.Elise is an overwhelmed single mother of two boys in Southern California. She's an avid traveler, a beginner dancer, an occasional piano player, and an online shopping junkie.Like her on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theelisesax?ref=hlFriend her on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ei.sax.9Or just send her an email: elisesax@gmail.comYou can also visit her website and get a free novella: elisesax.com

Related to An Affair to Dismember

Titles in the series (4)

View More

Related audiobooks

Cozy Mysteries For You

View More

Related articles

Related categories

Reviews for An Affair to Dismember

Rating: 3.6634615019230767 out of 5 stars
3.5/5

104 ratings28 reviews

What did you think?

Tap to rate

Review must be at least 10 words

  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    The style of writing is not for me. I kept reading for a challenge … as there were several tea drinking scense and the writer seemed to be channeling Lewis Carroll’s writing style which I thought was appropriate for this particular challenge titled The Madhatter’s Tea Party..
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    The reader is not very good. The story was ok, but not one of my favorite writers, sadly
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    2.5 stars

    I read this for the Cozy Mystery square for Halloween Bingo

    Something was definitely fishy about Randy Terns’s death, and at least one of his children thought he deserved to be murdered.

    Cozy mystery isn't a genre I usually spend a lot of time in but I've dabbled and the ones I've dabbled in, tend to have a "cozy" calm, mysterious but relaxing feel to them, not so here.

    The only time the heroine isn't on the go or jumping here and there, is when she is asleep, which doesn't last long. She's in town to take over her grandmother's matchmaking business but doesn't quite have the touch but doesn't matter since she only focuses on that for about 3% of the story. One of her neighbors was found dead in the kitchen and she thinks (?? I guess but she never seems totally sure even though she is running around trying to solve the "murder") he was murdered.

    What follows is a story that felt incredibly manic and held together with rubber bands and flimsy plot threads. Why does such a small town, I don't think they even have a 20 person police force (they don't have their own 911 call center) have a multi-million dollar new station? This is the first in the series but like my complaints about Angelfalls, you still have to craft story that provides depth in regards to characters and plot in book one.

    There is a love triangle but with one guy that barely is a pencil sketch and the heroine only seems to like because he is hot and the other that seems like the clear future winner. I'm not quite sure what the heroine saw in the pencil sketch (besides good looks) and I'm not sure what either guy saw in the heroine. The murder mystery was convoluted as all get out and had a reveal dump at the end.

    This was so manic and jumbled I felt like I was lost in a bouncy castle. I don't think I'll be continuing on in the series, especially since I am not a fan of love triangles, they always seem to be dragged out way to long.

    Bonus point for having Rottweilers in the story but point deduction for having them be growling frightening beasts.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    This had most of the elements I enjoy in a light mystery, but I did not find it especially enticing. In fact, I debated dropping it unfinished at least twice.I am bored with the trope of the single woman all of a sudden becoming catnip to ALL the MOST attractive lads in the vicinity. She is clearly Not ALL That- especially since she seems to be a bit dim-witted- so why are 2 hunks panting after her all of a sudden?Also, she refuses to keep her word, even when it's for her own good. She does stupid things and regularly requires rescue from one or another of the hunks.The deaths were often gory, but fortunately not described at length.All in all, though- it just went on far too long, and by the time of the "twist" at the end, I really didn't care anymore.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    An Affair to Dismember is a smart, witty romantic mystery that is laugh out loud funny. I had a lot of fun 'watching' Gladie land herself in one spot of trouble after another. Elise Sax did a wonderful job writing the story in such a way that I actually felt everything right along with Gladie, the good and the bad, heck I was even embarrassed for her a couple times!
    As Gladie bumbles through life trying to take over her grandma Zelda's matchmaking service, she finds out that her innate talents and curiosity also lead her into a lot of danger while trying to find the culprit behind the murder of her next door neighbor.
    All of the characters in this book are quirky and unique, you'll remember them long after the book is over. There are two totally yummy love interests in this book for Gladie. The sexy playboy police chief that is always getting her out of trouble and the equally sexy and mysterious guy next door.
    Overall, great read and an awesome start to a new series. If you're looking for a really good book that will make you laugh as well as keep you guessing, then this is definitely the book for you! I'm looking forward to the sequel, Matchpoint, due out July 30th.

    ***Review Copy provided by the publisher through NetGalley in exchange of my honest review***
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I'm not sure about this book - it was a mash up of sorts. The writing felt disjointed and the story not very tightly woven at all. The whole matchmaking-third-eye premise of getting Gladie back home is never really explained very well - is this gift supposed to be of a psychic sort? There are hints it might be, but then well, it's never explained. The murder mystery itself was all over the place - it's repeated again and again that the first two deaths are natural causes - so why is the police chief constantly around looking into things? Not really explained very well either. The plot has what it takes to be really interesting - and in honesty, I got very engrossed in the story, but the writing was so almost stream-of-consciousness that I really just felt the chaos.

    Still, the characters are all really likeable and interesting - there's not mixing them up in your head because you can't tell them apart. Each is colourful and interesting in their own way. The men are of course, hot hot hot, though I'm firmly in the police chief's corner for some reason. I'm going to read the next book in the series because I want to find the story lines tighter and I'm hoping for a more cohesive book all around - Ms. Sax could have a winner of a series on her hands if she just pulls it all together better.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    One of the funniest romance cozy mysteries I have read. I laughed out loud as I read this. I loved Gladie as she tries to be a matchmaker and solve a murder. Once again I did not get it right until it was explained to me but what a ride. Gladie has two handsome men vying for her attention. She also gets attention she does not want but also sets up her first match. Grandma Zelda is great. Bridget and Lucy as Gladie's sidekicks are a hoot. Not much at solving mysteries but funny riding shotgun. I cannot wait to read the next book in the series.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Gladie has come to live with her Grandmother and join her match making business. Gladie knows exactly zip about match making but her grandmother assures her that it is in her blood. Gladie is not so sure about that but Gladie does have a natural instinct for getting into trouble. When a neighbor dies, it is thought to be an accident, but Gladie is not so sure. As I search for a word to describe this book, "delightful" keeps popping up so I am going to go with that. Gladie and the world of Cannes, CA are wonderful. It is a crazy world and I enjoyed being there. This is definitely a cozy mystery but high on the humor and chick lit. I laughed out loud at the antics of Gladie and company. Already have the second one in the series. Can't wait to see where this series is going.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I'm not sure why I thought this was going to be a contemporary romance but it turns out, this was a great little debut for a new cozy mystery series. I enjoyed the mixture of witty and interesting characters that ran the gambit from a wise and wonderful grandma named Zelda with the magical matchmaking touch to the drool-worthy single hunk next door, from the hunky man-whore of a new chief of police to our main character Gladie whose job hopping borders on obsessive compulsive but who learns she might just have a touch of the ole matchmaker magic herself. They all come together to help Gladie solve a murder that wasn't dubbed a murder...at first. I look forward to the next installment in this fantastic new series.*Per FTC rules, I need to disclose that I received a copy of this book free from the publishers via the Night Owl Reviews.*
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Great read. The character development was awesome. I would read more in this series.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    A comedic mystery that I think will appeal to Stephanie Plum fans.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    A story very much in the Stephanie Plum mode with a quirky, somewhat klutzy heroine, Gladie, with no long term plans for her life beyond what she is doing at the time. What she is doing is learning to take over her Grandmother's matchmaking job. And just like with Stephanie, Gladie two has two sexy men taking an interest in her life. There is police chief Spencer and her mysterious neighbor Holden. And Gladie finds a body.This was an amusing mystery/romance/comedy. The characters are likeable & well done. It was a fun book and should be a fun series
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    For Gladie Burger, trouble just seemed to follow her around. As she is trying to do her best for her Grandma Zelda and help out around the house and the Matchmaking business, all Gladie finds are mini disasters and confusing situations. Figuring out what is important, what is really happening in the neighborhood and who to believe keeps her and her household in the drama of the neighborhood. Book 1 ..... The story line of this book reminds me a little bit of Janet Evanovich or Heather Weber with the clumsy heroine and the mystery to solve. The writing style did not flow as well, the transitions were a bit off somehow. Most of the story was fun and flirty. I was glad to have received this as an early reviewer from LibraryThing. I will still probably read the next in the series (Matchpoint, due out in July 2013).
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Reviewed by: MarissaBook provided by: EdelweissReview originally posted at Romancing the BookThis was a most amazing and amusing book and I decided I had to share it with everyone. I love getting in on the beginning of a new series, especially one that has all the elements I love: mystery and romance with a little bit of humor thrown in. Reading this one gave me a nice case of the warm fuzzies and I’m hoping to pass them along…Gladie is a character made just for me. She’s in her late twenties but has no direction in her life (neither did I at that age). Since most romance novels tend to feature their female leads as strong and career-oriented (lawyers, chefs, doctors – all those jobs that take training and career planning), I’ve always had a hard time identifying with them. Now I’m given a woman with no long-term goals, where three weeks in one job is deemed a lifetime, and who faints at the sight of blood. She’s moved into her grandmother’s house and is training to take over the matchmaking business and before long has two handsome men interested in her well-being. Let’s not forget the way her eyes dilate when she sees Spencer, the hot new police chief in town, and Holden, the handsome new next-door neighbor with the mysterious background (and what great names are those, huh?). Hubba, hubba.Within the space of one week, Gladie is stuck on a telephone pole, kidnapped, threatened, steals a police car, finds a dead body, gets shot at, and gets kissed by the dreamy neighbor. Like I said, I love getting in on a new series – and this one promises to be a doozy!
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    A fun sexy read similar to a Janet Evanovich novel. A quirky heroine is put up against a cast of potential killer who happen to be her neighbors. She is trying to start a new job in a new town and stumbles on a murder. With two potential love interests, this looks like it will be a series to follow for years.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Mystery rom-coms aren’t really my thing. They’re alright for some people. But I usually don’t like a dead body taking time away from a love match. But An Affair to Dismember is so delightfully funny in distracting me from not getting what I usually expect, I don’t mind one bit. The publisher’s describe it this way “Three months has been Gladie Burger’s limit when it comes to staying in one place: She’s always been a temp agency kind of girl, ever ready to move on. That’s why Gladie is more than a little skeptical when her eccentric Grandma Zelda recruits her to the family business in the quaint small town of Cannes, California. Gladie is also highly unqualified: Her beloved grandmother’s business is matchmaking, and Gladie has a terrible track record with romance. Still, despite evidence to the contrary, Zelda is convinced that her granddaughter has “the gift.” But when the going gets tough, Gladie wonders if this gift has a return policy.”. Grandma Zelda, Gladie, and the cast of characters in Cannes, California make for a very interesting and action packed novel. There’s the hot-as-hell Police Chief, the sexy new neighbor, the clumsy rookie cop who happens to dance as gracefully as Fred Astaire (his namesake), the cafe owner who’s obsessed with teas, and the crazy family no one in the town likes. And the bodies are piling up. And it’s up to Gladie and the Police Chief to figure it out. Since this is a light mystery rom-com, you know they figure it out. It’s also the first book in a new series called The Matchmaker Series. So Gladie’s romantic life is only teased here. Elise Sax’s writing moves at a nice clip, and she makes sure to keep you engaged every step of the way. This is definitely chick lit worth reading.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I am so glad I got this book from the early reviewers it was wonderful. It was entertaining, uplifting, clever and funny. The character development was great I was not left feeling as though I did not know any one of them. It was a wonderful change from the more serious books I have been reading. Cannot wait until the next installment.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    This book was really hard for me to get into. I really didn't get Gladie or her grandma. I really stuggled to finish the book as I really didn't feel like anything about her made me want to like her, what about her made me want to look past her inability to hold a job or connect with people? I pushed on thru, I hate to not finish a book, and I have to admit I had one laugh out loud funny moment near the end but other than that I felt there was no depth at all. WHy does Grandma not leave the house? Why is there anythign remotely appealing to a guy who might have shown up at the right time but still just appears creepy and stalkerish and non communicative. I gave three stars because I liked the end and I will read the next book just to see if the kinks were worked out.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    An Affair to Dismember by Elise Sax is one of those books where you find youself laughing out loud as you read it. I had a really good time reading this book It is one of those books that keeps you flipping to see what is going to happen next. Gladie Burger is a young lady that just hasn't found her niche in life yet. She does a lot of job hopping, until now. Her grandmother wants to groom her to take over her matchmaking business. Gladie isn't all that sure she is good at match making, after all she hasn't found her own match yet. While in training and trying to find the perfect couple to be her first match, Gladie gets mixed up with the kooky family next door. The man next door is dead, was it an accident or murder? Gladie finds herself in the mix of trying to solve what could be a murder, when bodies stop showing up other places. Not only is she in over her head trying to solve what she thinks might be a murder she meets the HOT new Police Chief, Spencer Bolton . Sparks fly with these two, their attracted to each other but can't help but bicker. She also meets the HOT new neighbor Arthur Holden. Wow in the course of the week Gladie gets herself into a lot of sticky situations where these two hunks take turns coming to her rescue. I loved watching Gladie get herself into one mess after another in try to get herself out. It's going to be fun to read the next book in the series to see which handsome hunk Gladie spends time with. With these two hunks it's going to be a tough choice. The police Chief Spencer is a man that finds his way around town with the women and has already gotten a reputation of it. Arthur Holden is a complete mystery to all but their is a serious number of rumors floating around as to what he might do for a living. If you like a good mystery with a small amount of romantic encounters thrown in I think you'll enjoy this book. I know I myself can't wait to read the next book in the series to see what kind of trouble Gladie can find herself in next.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    What a fun read! Gladys "Gladie" Burger moves in with her Grandma Zelda to help out in the family matchmaking business. But Gladie is known for not sticking around and for changing jobs in a matter of days, so will she be a washout at matchmaking, too? Gladie also isn't great at following her grandma's advice, particularly when it comes to staying away from their neighbors, the Terns, whose father Randy has recently died – or was he murdered? Gladie's curiosity leads to more deaths connected to the Terns and results in her getting close to the police chief and her new next door neighbor, both of whom are hotties.I recommend "An Affair to Dismember" to fans of the Stephanie Plum series. They won't be disappointed. I look forward to reading author Elise Sax's next Gladie adventure, "Citizen Pain."
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    A Laugh out loud funny and quirky book. Gladie Burger moves to Cannes and moves in with her matchmaker Grandma who is quite a quirky lady who has been a shut in for the last 20 years. Grandma Burger is trying very hard to get Gladie who has been from job to job throughout her life and has commitment issues to take over her matchmaking business. In the process of everything Gladie finds herself getting involved in the murder next door as well as in between two very attractive men who are both seemingly attracted to her. If you like Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum Series you are bound to enjoy this one as well. Well written and fun quick read.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I'm sure this is a very good book but in the time I've had it I just can not get in to it. Try as I might I can not get past page 89. There is nothing that grabs me. Even the charactors hit me as blah. Sorry kids.
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    I found this book rather difficult to get into. Both of the potential love interests seemed kind of obnoxious, and Gladie's interest in them wasbaffling to me. The book did pick up a little towards the end, but I was still happy to finish it and escape all the overwhelmingly quirky characters (seriously, I don't think there was a single character who could be considered normal) in Gladie's little town.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    A great fun reading this book, so hilarious!! I laughed through the whole book reading Gladie's trying to take over her grandma/family tradition of 'match maker' business. While doubtful that she didn't have to 'gift' for the job like her grandma, Zelda and trying to adjust to her new life and new job in-training in new town with a hunk of a neighbour, Holden that she's supposed to find a match for, but seemed to have a crush on the guy herself instead. Holden, on the other hand, only too happy to be matched with Gladie as well. Then there's this town sheriff, Spencer who's also a heartthrob-drop-dead delicious to half the women in town whom despite Gladie's determination to avoid him at all costs, but all it seemed to do was the more she tries, the more she kept running into him, not to mention ended having him in her bedroom! Gladie'd also found herself become more of an unintended partner in solving crimes in this little town with Spencer instead when people started dying one by one, and 'murder' was brewing in the air. The suspects in all of this, pointed not that far from Gladie's house but just across the street to The Tern family. The whole lot of them were crazy and unhinged enough to be perfect murder suspect. Gladie started to think the likely 'gift' she might have had is more of a knack for solving crimes than match making. And between Spencer - the sheriff vs Holden - the neighbour, both seemed to have a stand off of sort, a testosterone contest every time they met where Gladie was concerned, sure made this 'triangle' affair harder for Gladie to concentrate on her job training in this family match-making biz when she had half a mind to match herself to these hunks instead, it's a pickle whom to choose, they're both so irresistibly handsome, both gave delicious kisses, all those tight abs.. and then some. What a girl to do?
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    What a fun and quirky book! Obviously, the start of a fun series, much like the Stephanie Plum series. And that is OK, but we need more Stephanie Plum and Gladie Burgers in our lives! Highly recommended.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I was happy to meet Gladie Burger as she tries out a new town and career after a lifetime of wandering. Staying with her grandma Zelda and learning the matchmaker trade from the ground up would seem easy enough, but crazy neighbors, cute police and a possible murder pave the way for Gladie's madcap adventure. I liked the title, the storyline wasn't too easy to figure out and I will definitely follow Gladie on her next adventure. To say she's like Stephanie Plum is almost unfair. Gladie's her own person, surrounded by some great, zany characters.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I thought that this was a quick, funny and entertaining read. I really enjoyed the humor that Gladie had and the situations that she would find herself in, it could leave you laughing out loud at times. The murder mystery and the romance with Holden and Spencer was also good! I cannot wait to see what happens in the next book with Holden and Spencer.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    “An Affair to Dismember” is a laugh out loud, entertaining book from debut author Elise Sax. She introduces us to Gladie Burger, a woman who is training to take over her grandmother Zelda’s Matchmaking business although Gladie seems to think she is better cut out to find the murderer of her neighbor who the police do not believe has been murdered. Gladie interacts with a variety of interesting, crazy and in some cases sexy people in her pursuit of finding out what really happened in the fictional town of Cannes, California where her eccentric grandmother lives and Gladie has moved to. We meet her friends Bridget and Lucy who love to get involved in all Gladie does. Then there is the new neighbor, the sexy Arthur Holden who you never find out what he does for a living and the delicious Chief of Police, Spencer Bolton who is one of the people always coming to Gladies rescue whenever she gets in over her head.I don’t want to repeat what others have written but I do want to say that you will be pulled in to the story and want to meet and become friends with most of the characters in this book. Yes, being a fan of Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum series, I too see the parallels to her stories but I do think it is a compliment to both of them to compare the style. There is enough different though that I can’t wait for the next book in the Matchmaker series, “Matchpoint” due out in July 2013, to find out who Gladie will want to spend more time with, Spencer or Arthur (who goes by Holden), and just what is it that Holden does. Will Gladie become the matchmaker grandmother Zelda thinks she is cut out to be or will she keep getting caught up in other peoples “issues” and keep expanding her horizons helping others with their unsolved problems? I guess I will just have to read the next book in the series to find out what happens next.