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    A Happy Marriage: A Novel
    A Happy Marriage: A Novel
    A Happy Marriage: A Novel
    Ebook415 pages7 hours

    A Happy Marriage: A Novel

    By Rafael Yglesias

    4.5/5

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    A Happy Marriage is both intimate and expansive: It is the story of Enrique Sabas and his wife, Margaret, a novel that alternates between the romantic misadventures of the first weeks of their courtship and the final months of Margaret's life as she says good-bye to her family, friends, and children -- and to Enrique. Spanning thirty years, this achingly honest story is about what it means for two people to spend a lifetime together -- and what makes a happy marriage.

    Yglesias's career as a novelist began in 1970 when he wrote an autobiographical novel at sixteen, hailed by critics for its stunning and revelatory depiction of adolescence. A Happy Marriage, his first work of fiction in thirteen years, was inspired by his relationship with his wife, Margaret, who died in 2004. Bold, elegiac, and emotionally suspenseful, even though we know what happens, Yglesias's beautiful novel will break every reader's heart -- while encouraging all of us with its clear-eyed evocation of the enduring value of marriage.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherScribner
    Release dateJul 7, 2009
    ISBN9781439109816
    A Happy Marriage: A Novel
    Author

    Rafael Yglesias

      Rafael Yglesias (b. 1954) is a master American storyteller whose career began with the publication of his first novel, Hide Fox, and All After, at seventeen. Through four decades Yglesias has produced numerous highly acclaimed novels, including Fearless, which was adapted into the film starring Jeff Bridges and Rosie Perez. He lives on New York City’s Upper East Side.  

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    Reviews for A Happy Marriage

    4.5/5

    25 ratings19 reviews

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    • 5/5
      Emotional, amazingly frank, deliciously happy and gut-wrenchingly sad - and so good. I loved it!
    • 5/5
      I found this to be an excellent novel. It has a really well thought-out structure which is used in a brilliant way to help deliver the message of the story. What is a marriage all about? What is required in order to declare it a success? These questions are examined in quite a deep way and without any trite answers being offered.The book is written from a profoundly masculine perspective which, as a man, I don't often find to be useful. In this case, however, I found that the male perspective seemed to be aligned well with the sort of view that I might take, and many of the issues raised are those that might come up in my mind in similar circumstances. Dealing with a dying person is something that is on my mind at the moment and so that's another reason why this book particularly resonated with me. This is my first book by this author, but Yglesias is definitely a name I'll look for on my local library's shelves next time I'm there and I wouldn't be surprised if he jumps onto my favourites list in the future.
    • 4/5
      In this autobiographical novel, Yglesias explores a happy, if far from perfect, marriage primarily through the eyes of the husband, Enrique Sabas, as he faces his wife Margaret’s death. The novel opens with the 21-year-old Enrique being introduced to the two-or-three-years-older Margaret through a mutual friend, Bernard. Enrique is smitten, but knows this lovely creature is out of his league. He’s a high-school dropout; she studied at Cornell. The fact that he has already published two or three novels and lives on the money he’s earned as a writer does nothing to calm his fears and self-doubt. Bernard was right when he refused to introduce them before: Margaret is way out of Enrique’s league. The next chapter flies forward thirty years to his wife’s hospital bed, where Enrique watches Margaret in a drug-induced sleep while he ponders how he will get the courage to negotiate the terms of her death, fighting against doctors, her parents, and friends, to grant this woman he loves one final wish – to die at home.

      The novel alternates with each chapter between the final two weeks of Margaret’s life and the early days of their courtship and marriage. It’s a testament to Yglesias’s skill as a writer that the reader (obviously already knowing the marriage will happen and last) is just as anxious as Enrique that Margaret like him, feels his nervousness as he dallies so as not to arrive too early to dinner, worries whether his own failings and mistakes will cause irreparable harm to their relationship. There were times I wanted to throttle him; there were times I wanted to console him. And Margaret is not without faults, though I think Yglesias allowed Enrique to dwell on her faults too much. A word of warning to the reader who is squeamish: Yglesias writes with brutal honesty about the horrors and indignities of a major illness. The final chapter hurls the reader back and forth between Margaret’s final moments and the beginnings of their relationship. I was moved to tears, at the same time my heart swelled with love and joy.
    • 4/5
      This book was incredibly raw and emotional. It brought me to tears many times. A beautiful and honest look into a marriage.
    • 4/5
      Alternating chapters between his younger married life - the time he first met his wife in the 1970s, their courtship, parenthood, onward and his older married life - the time she was diagnosed with cancer, their fight with it, her decline, and end of life. Just the story of an ordinary marriage; the choices that add up to bring you to where you are. For him, as “the man she had created out of her love”, realizing, finally, all that she meant to his life.
    • 4/5
      Reading this book was an experience. For the first 50 or so pages, I was not drawn into the story, then as the book progresses, I was more and more drawn in, until by the end of the book, it was like I was there and experiencing the events in a mesmerizing way rather than just reading a book.A Happy Marriage is the story of an almost 30 year relationship beginning when Enrique as a young man meets his future wife Margaret. It then flashes back and forth in alternating chapters as Margaret is dying from cancer while Enrique is caring for her. This fictionalized account actually happened in real life to the author, undoubtedly making this story really compelling. I not only enjoyed this book, but I feel like I experienced it, suffered with both Enrique and Margaret as the final days came. It is very well written and I highly recommend it.
    • 4/5
      Although I avoided reading this title for a long time, until I was in the right frame of mind, I am glad I finally read it. This novel chronicles the ups and downs of a long marriage in a realistic and loving manner and I especially appreciated the male POV. Heartbreaking and beautiful, this one will stay with me for a long time.
    • 4/5
      this book got better as I read it, still there is a quality of a made for tv moive about it. it's good but it's clear how the writer wants you to feel and think. at the same time I read stoner, similar story but much more complex and that novel allowed the reader to explore their own feelings and thoughts
    • 5/5
      A perfect novel. The structure was so unusual, alternating chapters about how he (from the flyleaf, it appears nearly all of it is true) and his wife met and their early courtship, with those about her dying process. The story of the early years gradually creeps up in time to meet the end, and by the end both stories alternate in the same chapter. Honest, incredibly moving and sad, and unbelievably beautiful writing.
    • 5/5
      What makes a happy marriage? Rafael Yglesias, prodigy novelist--he published his first novel at 16--and screenwriter, turns his considerable talent to answering that question in his new book, entitled appropriately enough, A Happy Marriage. It is no spoiler to say the answer turns out far too complex for a simple review like this one. Nor is the conclusion that along the paths happy marriages take unhappiness and grief are strewn. The book never explicitly says so, but happily married couples already knew it and the book confirms it. It is impossible to know anything about Yglesias without realizing how heavily autobiographical is A Happy Marriage. All the major touchstones of his real life marriage to Margaret Joskow are mirrored in the fictional characters, Enrique Sabas and Margaret Cohen: their courtship, their ups and downs, even a few not too salacious scenes from their sex life. We can guess he’s probably taken liberties with details; we don’t which. If you find it hard to imagine a book with a name like A Happy Marriage having enough conflict to hold a modern reader’s attention, I predict a pleasant surprise because it is riveting. At least it was for me, even though by the second chapter I knew the inevitable end. Yglesias first takes us to Enrique and Margaret’s original meeting, next, to knowledge of the cancer that eats away at her body and spirit, all 21 chapters alternating symmetrically between their lifetime together and the final few weeks they have left. In Yglesias’ expert hands, it pulls you breakneck through the novel as you plunge ahead insistently to see what will happen. One other aspect needs mentioning, for although a novel, it should be read by couples facing cancer. Yglesias’ depiction of the agonizing sense of helplessness a person faces seeing a beloved life partner slowly die, the inability to communicate with friends addled by their embarrassed squeamishness at his plight, the jarring perception of how terminal illness cruelly and sweetly brings you closer, rings painfully true to this reviewer. The cosmopolitan, Jewish intellectual that is Enrique Sabas could not be more culturally distant from this Texas Baptist who also had a cherished spouse die of cancer. Yet, that his crystalline emotions were my own allowed me the modicum of comfort their universality makes possible.
    • 2/5
      A Happy Marriage by Rafael Yglesias came to me through the Librarything Early Reviewers program. This story of a husband's last days with his dying wife and his memories of their 30-year marriage is told from the heart. Unfortunately, the reader is nothing but a passive observer to this bittersweet tale. The narrative stays cleanly in place behind a plate of glass and we do not have to get ourselves messy with end-of-life issues or conflicts. All is taken care of by the very humble, warm-hearted narrator. The language, the lack of dramatic surprises, and frankly the lack emotional spikes in this book made the word "happy" in the title all too apt (and not ironic, as I mistakenly assumed). These are sad events in the lives of well-heeled and completely normal people, the kind of events we see all too much in our daily lives. I need much more from my fiction.
    • 4/5
      A Happy Marriage is well written and captured me immediately. I worried before I read it if it would be too sad, but the honest way Rafael writes about his wife's illness and their relationship kept me as interested in the story of her death as much as I was entertained by the story of their lives together. I good read!
    • 5/5
      “A Happy Marriage” is autobiography thinly disguised as fiction. This is an incredibly moving and intensely literary book. Mr. Ygelsias has written a profoundly personal book, which exhibits his powers as a storyteller in a manner evidencing respect for his audience as well as his subject. This is an astonishing feat, considering that he has included ridiculously personal details of his marriage without seeming to betray the essential emotional intimacies of his married life.I read it because I loved the movie “Fearless,” which Raphael Yglesias wrote, and because I’ve been a reader of his son Matthew’s blog for many years. (It was Matt’s blog that informed me of the book’s existence.) Although Mr. Yglesias’ life is one of great accomplishment and privilege, he has managed to craft an autobiographical narrative that bridges enormous gaps of status. I wept repeatedly while reading this book. It is a mature and phenomenally insightful story of marriage, love, and raw human need. I recommend it unreservedly.
    • 4/5
      A Happy Marriage takes the reader deeply into Rafael Ygelsias' life, chapters alternating between the present as his wife is dying, and the past of their history together. Highly autobiographical, it reads like a thoroughly honest memoir, yet is billed as fiction. The dying is long and sad, the courtship and marriage is entertaining. There are a few times when one wishes the author was not so truthful -- when he describes his adulterous affair, for example, and the prolonged discussion of his wife's physical infirmities in her last days. Still, a completely mesmerizing book finishing with the last important question -- will the husband get to spend a last few, cogent minutes with the love of his life?
    • 4/5
      This is a difficult book to review in that while billed as a novel – certainly seems to match up with the author’s life. The story of Enrique Sabas and his relationship with his wife Margaret seems a close mirror to that of author Rafael Yglesias and his wife Margaret.So it’s impossible to know how much is fiction…but I will try and write this based on what happens in the book.“A Happy Marriage” – it’s a title that I first assumed described a perfect marriage. Instead, it’s about a real marriage – full of sorrows and mistakes and flaws and pain. But full of joy and love and miracles as well. It’s about the emotional ties between two people who were part of each other’s lives for nearly thirty years, and the physical nature of human life and love.The story is told from Enrique’s point of view – and while the reader comes to know Margaret through him, it is only his version of Margaret that we see. The woman he fell in love with, the woman who became the mother to his children, the woman he cared for while she was suffering and dying. We see how his relationship with her changes him, how his knowing of her alters his life forever.The book follows two timelines – one as Enrique and Margaret meet and one that takes place in the final weeks of Margaret’s life. We watch them come together and we see as they are separated by her cancer.“He didn’t think about her dead; he didn’t contemplate a future without Margaret. He understood that she would die, and die soon, but he also knew that he didn’t truly believe her life would end.”As we watch the young Enrique become captivated by the young Margaret, we know, as they do not, where their story will end. This knowledge taints even the most joyous moments of their young love and marriage, and makes one want to admonish them during the hardships that “you’re wasting precious time!”Their marriage and feelings for one another go through the inevitable (and some not so predictable) ups and downs, and always the feelings seem real. While as a wife and mother, I come from the other side of the coin; I felt the authenticity of Enrique’s feelings about his wife and sons. There is certainly a greater emphasis put on the physical aspects of their relationship than many women might have placed and I found this very illuminating. But there is such love there, such a feeling that without her, there would be no him.“Enrique finally felt able to explain what she had come to mean in his life. He was ready to articulate that in their twenty-nine years together both of them had been transformed, not once but three times; that he had come not only to need her but to love her more profoundly than ever; not as a trophy to be won, not as a competitor to defeat, not as a habit too long to break, but as a full partner, skin of his skin, head of his heart, and heart of his soul.”I have to admit to being surprised that I did not cry while reading this book. I’m a pretty emotional person, and given that the book is based in reality – I expected to choke up at the very least. But in the end, I think I took more from what these people had than what they lost. Given that when I started the book, I already knew the ending, I suppose I took more from their journey than from its conclusion.A perfect marriage is unachievable. A happy marriage is a triumph beyond measure.
    • 4/5
      Yglesias' semi-autobiographical work shows us the life of a marriage through three snapshots of its defining moments. His writing cleanly and authentically captures the feeling of these three very distinct phases of the marriage. I found this work quite moving. Yglesias has done a fine job of making this relationship come alive on the page. I would highly recommend this book.
    • 5/5
      A Happy Marriage celebrates the entwined lives of Enrique and Margaret by chronicling the extremes of their relationship – Enrique’s anxious and awed courtship of Margaret and his last days with her as she dies of cancer thirty years later. The relationship is a realistic but uplifting one to which to be privy, leaving this reader satisfied and touched by the window into the private world of marriage, the poignant anxiety of first encounters, and the wrenching sadness of saying goodbye.
    • 5/5
      This is a beautiful book, both intimate and universal in its scope. The story of Enrique and Margaret's life together travels from lust to anger to contentment. It encompasses all of the elements of a long, full life: work, friendship, family dynamics, and ultimately death. Yglesias gives us a detailed picture of one man and his relationship with his wife, his parents, and his children, but through this specific portrait we are given windows into pain and pleasure that is universal. Like Joan Didion's "A Year of Magical Thinking" the stark image of death in Yglesias' novel is both hard to take, and hard to look away from. The level of detail can feel overwhelming at times, but it all works together to portray a realistic and complete life. Knowing that this fiction is based on Ygesias' own life gives it added power.While reading I thought about my relationship with my parents, my father's death, my friends, and especially my fiancee. I'll be passing this book on to my mother, my sister, and my fiancee, but I will make sure to get it back - it has a place in my permanent collection.
    • 5/5
      Yglesias's novel is beautifully wrought, with meticulously crafted characters moving through the heartbreaking denouement of a thirty-year romance. Enrique, the protagonist, is saddled with the burden of herding his family through the final days of his wife Margaret's life. In between the episodes of final goodbyes and medical crises, the reader sees how their romance started and how it unfolded through their years of happy marriage.Of course, it could hardly be happy in the sense of blissfully moving from one joyous moment to the next. They have their problems, including the near dissolution of their marriage in its early years. What makes the reader cheer from the sidelines, even while it is revealed that Enrique had an affair, is the way he desperately wants to tell his wife, at the end of her life, how much he loves her, how much her very existence has made life worth living. His fear, as he coordinates a social calendar of final goodbyes for her friends and family, is that he won't have a chance to tell her. This fear is pervasive, and seeing how these final days unfold make the novel engrossing.Yglesias employs beautiful turns of phrase throughout the novel, putting words to feelings that many have experienced while dealing with the illness and death of a loved one. Enrique reveals how difficult it is to help other people cope emotionally, when he is trying so hard himself to do that as well: they were “demanding he put Band-Aids on their scrapes while he was bleeding to death” (88). Enrique deals with the demands of family, particularly Margaret's parents concern with funeral arrangements. In passages like this, Yglesias shines in describing Margaret's mother's need to control the arrangements, to have them just the way her family has always had them, because the need for something familiar would almost make one feel safe in the midst of the uncertainty of a life without Margaret (184).There are witty passages as well, like Enrique's internal debate about selecting pants to wear on his first date with Margaret (129). Enrique and Margaret are great conversational foils, never devolving into the pattern of saying the same things to each other repeatedly, nor remaining silent because, after all these years, there is nothing left to say. Their relationship is alive and vibrant, and they still can surprise each other when they open their mouths. This is something beautiful to see, and it makes the ending of the novel so hard to bear.The first chapter didn't draw me in to the novel the way that the second – and each subsequent chapter – did. I do not mention this as a critique, but rather so that readers know that they might not be enthralled on first meeting the characters, but it is worth hanging on for a few more pages to let this story get a running start. I think the great strength of this novel is the detailed expression of the emotions that swirl around the beginning and end of this marriage. These characters are vibrantly alive, and will remain lodged in my mind for some time now. It is an excellent read, even if it leaves the reader in tears.

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    A Happy Marriage - Rafael Yglesias

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