If You Want Closure in Your Relationship, Start with Your Legs: A Guide to Understanding Men

One

Boom’s Personal Message

When a man moves too fast and has multiple, meaningless partners, he’s only bursting blood cells and allowing bad energy to enter the woman.

I’ve had good women, bad women, and sometimes I’ve had both at the same time. In my past, I searched for women who were whores.

I looked for women who sold their bodies and gave men their money, their food stamps, and their welfare checks. I even dated women who strip-danced. Throughout all of this I’ve found that opposites attract, but a whore who acts right and also has your back, she’s hard to find.

I’ve gone as far as to make women have sex with other women and do what I want them to do, just to make me happy. I’ve had women who would do stupid stuff just because I asked them to do it and they wanted me around.

For about forty-seven years of my life, I was attracted to these kinds of women…whorish women…women I could have fun with. I would put women together and watch them go at it. To me it was fun having them do wild and crazy things. Now, I’m attracted to women with qualities that are totally opposite to those kinds of women.

I dated a young lady in the cocaine world for a few years, so I’ve seen and done it all. During this time all I did was spend money. Women would make the money and I would spend it. I was a very uncontrollable guy during that time of my life.

Through the years, when I was about forty-seven years old…No!…I’ll say at the age of forty-five, I started wanting to change, but I didn’t know how to change, and when I began making changes my friends would say, We’re losing you…we’re losing another soldier, we’re losing another man, we’re losing another good one. This would cause me to jump back on their side and that caused me to get back into the game. I was in the game a long time and many things that it brought to my life I’ll discuss in this book.

A Woman’s True Colors Shines Through

I attracted lots of women because I was considered the main attraction to them. I understood the game and what the game was all about, but when I started telling women what I wanted them to do and what I wanted out of life, they would try to be that special person, but that person wasn’t really who they were.

I called it my blue light special because it was like going into a discount store—the blue light directs you to the aisles where the deals are. Not knowing this, I set myself up for a fall. These same women would start tricking me and turned out to be the kind of women I didn’t want. I later found out that many of the women I encountered pretended to be who they thought I wanted them to be.

Each time I entered into a new relationship and tried to make it work, the woman’s true colors eventually came out and that would set me back. It made me realize that I needed to stop telling women what I wanted, because they might not be themselves but instead try to be the special of the moment in hopes of the big purchase.

As I got older I became tired of being the type of man I had become, so I decided that each year I would try to change something about myself. I would improve the areas of my life that I thought were flawed. For me, the game had run its course, it wasn’t fun anymore. So I began to work on me.

Why I Think Relationships Are Important

A woman can have a good man, but the problem could be that she’s no good for that man! A man wants sex, but a woman wants romance and material possessions. Sometimes it seems as if a man and a woman are from different worlds. It’s as if men are from the East Side and women are from the West Side.

In their relationships men and women may not realize how different they really are, but it’s through understanding and acceptance of the obvious and less obvious differences that they can achieve a truly great relationship.

I Was a Smooth Operator

I ran into a friend I grew up with named Stanley. He reminded me of how nervous I would get when I first started talking to girls on the phone. I was a good talker, but I would freeze up and become insecure, especially when I saw them in person.

Stanley was good at talking to the girls. He enjoyed them and had fun and they loved him. A lot of times I’d put Stanley on the phone to talk to girls. I would tell him what to say and what to ask and he didn’t have a problem doing it. I learned how to do it over time and as I got older I couldn’t quit talking to women.

By the time I was seventeen, I was singing in a band. They called me the ghetto kid and I had my game down.

We wrote a couple of records and some of the lyrics were:

You played at the game and loved and lost and now the time has come for you to pay the cost. The price was high but you knew all along you’d have to pay if you did me wrong. And another part was my love was there every night and day, can’t figure out why you treat me this way. I gave you joy in return for hurt, never again because it just won’t work. You think I’m gone be a fool for you? You’d better hold your breath until you turn blue. You better get it together, get a brand-new start or you gone be left with a broken heart. It says…Quit jaw jacking, booty smacking; skinning and grinning; let’s stop the chatter, let’s get down to the matter.

I will never forget it. Those were my lines. I was real smooth.

My Real Turnaround

My real turnaround came when I married a lady I hardly even knew. I knew her from talking to her on the telephone. I thought I could take any woman, treat her real good, give her what she wanted, and I could make her be the ideal woman for me.

But that wasn’t necessarily true. You see, the biggest mistake a man makes is when he believes he can make a woman do and be who he wants by giving her gifts and material things.

Since what I used to do didn’t work, I asked God to help me determine what I could do for Him since nothing detrimental happened to me when I was being deceptive and doing wrong in my life. The Holy Spirit revealed to me that God saved me for this journey I am now embarking on.

Since I’m a bodyguard for the stars by trade, I decided to protect the ones (women) I’ve been hurting. So now people can just call me Boom, the Bodyguard for Women’s Hearts.

Because I’ve changed my life, I don’t have to look behind my back or turn off the cell phone before I go into my home. I want brothers to understand that I sleep peacefully now. The more women I help, the more good women will be available to provide men with what they truly need.

Women have taught me that you don’t have to fight a woman in order to gain her love or dedication.

Two

I’ve Made Mistakes

I sincerely apologize to any woman I have hurt in the past.

I went back to visit some of the women I hurt, because I have ruined some ladies’ lives. I started making a change by apologizing to as many of them as I could find. After talking to them and explaining my side of the issue they said that they forgave me. Each of them told me the same thing: I still love you…and you taught me a lesson, but I will never let another man treat me the way you did.

Looking back, I realized that none of the women I dated were really angry with me; they were hurt.

Women Have Taught Me Many Lessons

I put some pain on some women. Yes, I put some pain on their hearts. I would get mad, go off and fight women because at a young age I saw my dad do it. I saw it work, so what else did I have to do? That was what I knew.

Women have taught me that you don’t have to fight in order to gain their love or dedication. It’s foolish for a man to put his hands on a woman in harmful ways.

I apologize to any woman I hurt in the past and I want you to know that God is working on me and working with me.

I Grew Up Unsupervised

Even though I have older brothers and sisters, I grew up unsupervised. My mother tried to take care of five kids by herself; she would leave me at home with my sisters and brothers.

After my little sister was born, the attention was no longer on me and I felt rejected. As I grew older the empty spot felt bigger. It gave birth to the feeling of insecurity in my life. I would start fights with my siblings and they would lock me out of the house. They didn’t care where I went, just as long as I got off their nerves, so I hung out in the streets where I got attention. I was in the streets eight or nine hours a day until my mother got home.

I could find plenty to do in the streets and there was nobody to control me. They would try to make me sit down and learn my lesson from school. I just couldn’t tune in because there was so much stuff on my mind.

Growing Up Dyslexic

I’m dyslexic, which means I read backwards. Because of this, learning was once difficult for me. Although I knew something was wrong, I didn’t do anything about it. I have gone through my whole life and never read a book. I’ve never even read the Bible, but I know human behavior and I know right from wrong. Knowing these things has placed stories in my heart. I find myself looking at life differently because of my dyslexia. I look at life backwards. In other words, I look at people from the inside out. Throughout my life this kind of thinking has made me who I am.

When Did the Cycle Start?

The manipulation period started back when I was going to school, when the education department failed me, or did I fail it? No one knew where my mind was. I couldn’t even find myself. No one paid attention to me because I was so angry all the time and I was doing things to lash out at everybody. Many times, they threw their hands up in the air and just gave up on me.

The only time I received help was when women picked me up. They made me feel like somebody cared about me, so I got into the world of playing women so deeply that it became my whole focus.

I Feel Good About Me Now

When I discovered that there are people sleeping on the streets, begging for dimes with college degrees, it made me feel stronger and more confident, because you can make it if you really want to.

A great man told me that I have untapped potential. In areas where I was weak God has made me strong. I pulled from that spiritual strength to survive in this world. I was weak when it came to my education, but I was strong in my street sense. I learned to use my gift of common sense to achieve the things I desired. I learned that you could make it against all odds.

I Don’t Know Everything

I don’t know everything about the Bible, but when I go to church I tune in and that puts messages in my head and my heart. God works with me because God takes care of babies and fools and I guess during those times I fit into the fool category.

Sometimes I don’t know the perfect way to treat a woman right—or what others would say is right, because everyone’s right is different. In my world it used to always be about me, but when I got married I decided it would be all about my wife. I do all the stuff for my wife that I never did for other women and I figure that ought to be pretty close to right.

Since I’ve done bad things to women, I’m putting it in reverse and doing the opposite of what I used to do, and so far things are going well and my wife is pretty happy.

Knowing women, I know things could change at any time, but I believe I got the hang of it for now and I’m giving it my all.

I’ve Finally Got the Hang of This Thang

For all the people who knew me from the old days and are looking down on me for not hanging in there and getting what I needed in school: I got what I needed from the streets.

I put survival over school, but I’m doing the right things now and feeling pretty good about it. I know God has blessed me.

God Has My Back

I’m not against education, but as I said, there are so many people with college degrees who are lying on the ground and pushing shopping carts that I feel the way I survived helped me to avoid that kind of life.

You can read this book and judge me because that’s your choice. But I’m also looking at myself and seeing how far I’ve come and I’m trying to determine if this is the way God wants me to do it, if this is my journey.

One of the most shocking moments in my life was when I realized God had my back and I didn’t have His. I decided to put it in reverse and do everything I could do just to work for God. It made me realize that I had some more work to do.

Ever since I changed my thought pattern, things have been going a lot smoother for me. I know God is looking at me, so I have to do it right, stay on the right track. As long as God has got my back—I’ve finally got the hang of this thang.

Just like a drug dealer, when a man is doing wrong, he won’t be able to get a good night’s sleep.

Three

Keep Your Legs Closed

I was never a pimp in my heart, but I had pimpish ways.

If a woman is caught in a bad relationship and really wants out of it, she should become dedicated to avoiding sex with the person she is trying to gain closure with. Having sex with the closing partner will only add fuel to the fire and the flame will continue. Sex not only opens her legs, it opens emotional doors for a woman, and both should remain closed to allow that flame to die.

Sex is as important to women as it is to men, but women don’t let on until they’ve had a few sexual acts with the man. After a woman has been with the man a few times, she starts prioritizing sex just the same as the man does, but for different reasons. We’re all aware that sex tends to be more important to men while for women sex is more of an act of romance, more than a pure physical act. Of course there are always exceptions!

Without a deeper understanding of this fundamental difference, women commonly underestimate