Merde Encore!
By Genevieve and Mike Heath
5/5
()
About this ebook
Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the café...
For those of you who delighted in Geneviève's deliciously naughty first book, Merde!, and for those unfortunate few who have not yet had the pleasure...Geneviève is back with Merde Encore!
Here the inimitable Geneviève makes further fabulous forays into French argot and comes up with an enormous range of colorful idioms, essential for anyone who wants to speak the language as it really is spoken. As an additional treat, she also gives instructions in the correct use of impassioned Gallic gestures -- those silent but expressive signals so beloved of the French motorist and shopkeeper. And, most important, she reveals how the French language, both spoken and visual, is a key to the spirit and character of the people who use it. With infectious humor, she exposes the idiosyncratic attitudes that have produced so great a wealth of vivid expressions.
So now discover how the French really feel about sex, food, la belle France, foreigners, hygiene, death...Merde Encore! may confirm what you've always suspected.
Genevieve
Genevieve is the author of Merde!.
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Book preview
Merde Encore! - Genevieve
INTRODUCTION
Before reading this book, you should have digested or at least nibbled at the contents of its predecessor, MERDE! The REAL French You Were Never Taught at School. It’s not just that I want you to buy both books (cela va sans dire
), but I shall at times in this book assume knowledge acquired in the first.
To give newcomers to our linguistic venture a hint of the value of our previous study, think of the importance of possessing merde
in your vocabulary. People who have changed the course of history have used it, so why should you lose out on such great moments as when Napoleon told Talleyrand, Vous êtes de la merde dans un bas de soie
(You’re shit in silk stockings)? Surely you know of the moment of the word’s apotheosis when General Cambronne, having been called upon to surrender at the battle of Waterloo, yelled it out to the British forces, thus immortalizing the five-letter word known ever after as le mot de Cambronne.
Now, if you enjoyed MERDE! and, with it, finally broke the code of those French conversations which had always eluded you, restricted as you were to the French you were fed at school, you will have appreciated the fact that language is not just an accumulation of words but also a key to the spirit and to the character of the people who speak it. You will also, I hope, have had a good laugh in the process. What I offer here is further exploration of colloquial vocabulary and idioms and, through them, deeper insights into the French psyche. French idioms are often very funny, based as they are on concrete and colorful imagery. I’ll give you a few examples just to arouse your interest.
Picture this: enculer les mouches,
a priceless image. As you may remember from MERDE!, that translates as to fuck a fly’s ass,
an image meaning to nitpick, to split hairs,
but how much more colorful than the English translation. So there will be elements of scatology in this book (hurray!), but you must learn to accept that urino-anal imagery, so frequently used by the French, is not necessarily rude. For example, there are two perfectly ordinary and acceptable names for colors which are in the above-mentioned genre:
1. couleur caca ďoie
means literally the color of goose shit yet is a normal description for a yellowish-green hue, and if Zola can use it in his books, why shouldn’t it be part of your vocabulary?
2. une couleur pisseuse
(literally, a urinelike color) means a wishy-washy, insipid color.
One more splendid expression, while we’re on the subject, to illustrate the concrete nature of many French idioms: autant pisser dans un violin
(literally, one might as well piss in a violin) is used to express frustration, lack of progress, banging one’s head against a brick wall. Finally, to show that the visual brilliance of French idioms does not depend merely on excretion: sucrer les fraises
(literally, to sugar the strawberries) describes someone, usually an old person, who has the shakes. Can’t you just picture the movement of a hand shaking sideways as it would when sprinkling sugar over strawberries?
I
VERBS:
The nouvelle conjugaison
(Well, not nouvelle to the Frogs, but probably nouvelle to you)
THE MOI-JE SYNDROME
The French like emphasis in speech. This has meant that single pronouns have been found wanting. Therefore, one finds the use of double pronouns, particularly in the first persons singular and plural where this need to underline, allied to French egocentricity and mania for individualism, has given rise to the moi-je syndrome:
Moi, j’aime pas ce mec. (I don’t like that guy.)
Moi, je suis contre. (I’m against it.)
Moi, je vais te foutre mon poing sur la gueule. (I’m going to punch your face in.)
Special attention needs to be paid to the first person plural, which, you have learned, is nous.
So it still is, but it has been subverted by the now ubiquitous on,
which has graduated from being the indefinite third person singular pronoun (on dit que
= it is said that) to being the second half of the double pronoun, nous, on.
Worse, the agreement of participle or adjective is with the first person plural, even if nous
is left out and the verb itself is in the third person singular:
Nous, on est dégoûtés. (We’re disgusted.)
Avec les copains, on est allés au cinoche. (We went to the flicks with some pals.)
Disgusting, say the grammar purists! (Mr. Grammar Purist, ever heard of the ostrich or the dodo?)
So, for a final look, an example for each pronoun:
Moi, je suis belle, intelligente et cultivée. (I’m pretty, intelligent and cultured.)
Toi, t’es un pauvre con. (You’re a pathetic idiot.)
Elle, elle est moche comme un pou. (She’s very ugly, as ugly as sin; she’s a dog.)
Nous, on en a marre. (We’re fed up.)
Vous, vous êtes des emmerdeurs. (You’re all pains in the ass.)
Eux, ils sont débiles. (They’re idiots, they’re stupid.)