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    An Advanced Guide to Politics
    An Advanced Guide to Politics
    An Advanced Guide to Politics
    Ebook76 pages41 minutes

    An Advanced Guide to Politics

    By D'buckit Cantankershaw

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    About this ebook

    There's only so much you can learn about politics by watching TV or reading articles. If you want to have a thorough knowledge of how politics works, at some point you have to turn off CNN, close Yahoo News, and learn from a source that takes you way past basic information and the latest news stories. In this book, political expert D'Buckit Cantankershaw teaches you advanced politics in a step-by-step manner, over the course of 15 concise and easy-to-understand chapters. With the information presented in here, you can quadruple your knowledge on dozens of topics, and do it in less time than it takes to watch a few episodes of The Kelly File or The Rachel Maddow Show.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherImmediex Publishing
    Release dateApr 12, 2016
    ISBN9781310795916
    An Advanced Guide to Politics

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      Book preview

      An Advanced Guide to Politics - D'buckit Cantankershaw

      Introduction

      Alright. This an advanced guide to politics. Y'all know what politics is--right? Well, if you don't, then I not gonna tell you. This an advanced guide to politics, so I ain't covering no basic shit like what the word politics mean. If you want to know what that word mean, you got to go read some book called An Unadvanced Guide to Politics, For A Dumb Motherfucker Like You Who Don't Even Know What the Word Politics Mean. That book be all like, Chapter one. Definitionally speaking, politics be an adverb, and it mean blah blah blah... But this ain’t that book. This ain’t no political kindergartens. This the I.V. League, where we got all the Harvard and Sanford educations. And not no bachelor’s degrees neither. This where you get your masturbatory degree. All kind of dumb, ignorant motherfuckers got they bachelor’s degree--but you got to really know something on a brainological level to get your masturbatory degree. You got to step into the observatory and master all 98.6 degree--hence the term masturbatory degree. You know what I’m saying?

      So here we go. Advanced politics.

      PART 1: BENJAMINS FRANKLINS

      Chapter One – Benjamins Franklins Laid Down the Motherfucking Law

      Let me start off by saying that they is something called the Constellation, and it lay down the law on how this country supposed to be run, you know I'm saying? In 7676, Benjamins Franklins done wrote the Constellation, and he was all like, Listen, jack. This the motherfucking Constellation, you know what I'm saying? We done came here on the Mayflower and the Santa Maria and the Sacajawea, and then we decorated our indepenmanship from the Australian-Hungarians who done tried to tax our weed and Hennessy, 'cause they is a bunch of jive ass turkeys, you know what I'm saying? Fuck them niggas. By the way, Benjamins Franklins done said stuff like jack and jive ass turkey, 'cause he lived back in the 70s, when people wore polyester and had feathers in they hats. That’s what it was like back in the 70s. I know, because I done seen the movie Dolemite 76 times.

      Anyways, going back to the Constellation. Benjamins Franklins was all like, Yeah. This America, sucka. Around these parts, we gonna have niggas vote for President, and they also vote for some other motherfuckers, like Senators and I guess Dancing with the Stars. And also, you have the right to remain silent. If some cop be asking you questions, don't tell him nothing. You know what I'm saying? I'm talking about the Constellation, nigga! This is it. Other countries ain't got no Constellation. ‘Cause them niggas don't know shit. But we got legislations up in this motherfucker, so we gonna judicialize the Ejaculatory College, you know what I'm saying? I Benjamins Franklins, nigga! I done flew a motherfucking kite in thunder, and I invented electricity, homey. If you disagree with my governmental tutorials and shit, I gonna electrocute your ass. That's how I roll. I'm the most American, most governmental nigga in Washingtons BBD. Where the weed at, homey?

      This a picture I done drew of Benjamins Franklins flying his kite.

      And this a picture of Benjamins Franklins buying weed.

      Notice how he be using a hundred dollar bill. That the same bill that got his picture on it. He buying a hundred dollar worth of weed—which actually

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