A Story Of A Blind Man

Chapter 1

The Day I died

There is a saying in South Florida, Naples to be precise, which is another day in paradise. It was a beautiful and warm morning in November, 1998. At around 2 a.m., at the corner of Airport Road and Davis Boulevard, there was a tragic auto accident. Just down the road on Davis. A fire station with emergency EMTs arrived within minutes of the 411 call. All hell broke loose; the police were swift in responding and blocked off the streets. The EMTs immediately attended to the passenger who had been in the vehicle. They had the man out of the mangled car and performed emergency procedures. One of the emergency workers shouted out the grim news. This man is not breathing and has no pulse.

They hooked up wires to a portable EKG machine, and brought out a defibrillator, while one EMT performed CPR.

Clear!

The electrically charged paddles were placed against the dead man’s chest.

Nothing, shouted the EMT worker as he watched the portable EKG.

Give me more juice! He zapped the man again.

Still nothing the worker repeated. The process was repeated over and over. Back and forth they went like a scene set on replay.

Nothing!

Give me more juice!

Another worker recited the obvious with monotone clarity. This man is dead.

Give me more juice, and double it. If this doesn’t do it, nothing will.

The last big blast bolted into the man’s chest. Finally, a loud shout came from the worker who monitored the EKG machine. We have a pulse! Whomp, whomp, whomp.

****

As the emergency chopper was landing, stabilization was required. They had stabilized me and loaded me into the aircraft. The helicopter took off for Ft. Myers-Lee Memorial Hospital Trauma Center. Naples Hospital doesn’t have such facilities. I had always wanted to ride in a chopper; weird thought, right? Hell of a way to do it.

I don't remember anything about the day of November 17, the day before the accident. The trauma team at the Ft. Myers Lee Memorial Hospital trauma center worked on me like my life depended on it, well Duh! I learned later that I was placed into a medically induced coma. My first recollection of being aware of my surroundings was when I heard my neurologist ask me questions. Who is the President? What day was it? Of course, I didn't have a clue. He asked more questions. He wanted to know if I was a vegetable. I guess I convinced him I wasn’t just before he put me back into a coma again for a couple weeks.

Next thing I knew, I woke up in the Intensive Care Unit. Eventually, I was moved to a private room. It was really weird because I didn't have much of a reaction about where I was. I remembered someone telling me that I was involved in a terrible automobile accident and was at the Ft. Myers Hospital, and the hardest hitting information I would ever receive. They told me that I was totally blind. I had stuff stuck all over me. Things were sticking into my arms and I had a feeding tube jabbed into my stomach. Ensure: yummy, yummy, yummy! I was getting stuck with needles all the damn time. But you know what? It didn't bother me in the least; It just didn't bother me. I guess I was so doped up, I didn’t care at all.

People visited me; my girlfriend came and she gave me a hug.

I’m blind, what the hell happened?

We crashed the car.

I don’t remember how the conversation went after that, in fact, I don’t remember saying anything else.

I couldn’t believe I was really blind, I kept seeing things. I could see people moving about me, I could hear a television and looked around and I saw The Lion King was playing. I was told that my son and his girlfriend came to see me, but I don’t remember. My two brothers and my sister came down from Indiana when I was in the trauma unit, but I don’t remember. I do remember my friend Jimbo and his wife Rita. We went outside to have a smoke. I wish I would have forgotten that I smoked cigarettes, but I still had the urge to smoke; I don’t remember anything we said.

When I started to know my surroundings it was really eerie. I finally came to realize that I was in the hospital and I was indeed blind. After a while, most of the things that were stuck to me were taken off. I think they were medical monitors to show my vital signs. I was out of the danger zone. But they keep sticking me with needles. They stuck me so many times it became hard to find a useful vein. I talked with my doctor, I guess. I was to have another operation on my left eye. My right eye was not repairable

My mind was in an altered state. I floted in and out in and out of this altered state that I was in. My mind was in one place and my body was in another demention. I can remember everything about the altered state I inhabited, even though it was a dream-like state.

I was in a room with a black woman and we were naked, I had sexual feelings; just felt very horny, but I never got off. I guess just before my second operation I was on a high gurney and was being pushed into a room with really weird faces all around me. The faces were not realistic but cartoonish looking. The colors were very brilliant. I felt a little strange, but not scared. Then suddenly I was in a very large barn. It was very freaky; it looked like it had been there for a hundred years, with musty cob webs all over. Monsters were walking around, crawling up the walls, walking on the ceiling, spiders all around. Some were crawling over me. I was in a baby’s high chair, a very large one. I kept struggling to get out. I made progress inch by inch. I never felt scared, and I remember thinking that was strange. I had no fear whatsoever. It was like I was in a nightmare, but I was cool as a cucumber.

In the real world, I was, indeed, struggling to get out of something. In reality, I was in the recovery room and I was strapped to a gurney, I was not being watched by the hospital staff. I finally got out to the point where I was so far out of the gurney that I fell backward and crashed my head on a chair. That is where the staff finally noticed me and I was rushed to get a CAT scan. I hit the back of my head really hard. I had a cracked skull and they were afraid that I could have further damaged it. I will never know, What if I never hit the back of my head? Might the second operation have repaired my sight?

Meanwhile, back in my room, I was visited by my eye surgeon. I have forgotten his name; oh yeah, his name was Doctor Doom. I remember his bedside manner and personality was like a rock. He didn’t say much to me except that the operation was not successful. He was real cold; he didn’t give me any encouragement or anything. He was concerned about my right eye lid. He was trying to make it stay closed. He took me out of my room and we moved into another room. I don’t know why.

He said to me Your right eye is very damaged and clouded over, and I think it would be better if it would stay closed.

I said How are you going to do this? It doesn’t bother me.

You would just look better.

How are you going to do this?

I am going to numb your top lid and then staple it to the bottom one. The only pain I had while I was at the hospital was him putting a needle into my eyelid. He started the procedure, and I never felt such pain.

TAKE THAT THING OUT, TAKE IT OUT, TAKE IT OUT!!! I screamed.

I said to him Who gives a damn if my eyelid is not closed, I sure don’t.

Needless to say, Doctor Doom and I didn’t have a very good rapport.

The nurses were really nice. One of them would take me out from time to time to have a smoke. We had to go outside and she smoked also. At some point I was taken to the rehabilitation room and had to do some exercises, just to keep up my strength. The exercises were ridiculous; the session lasted about 10 minutes. Another part of my so-called rehab was that I was taken to a room that was outfitted to resemble a small apartment. I was guided by a nurse and I had to walk around and touch things just to get a feel for my surroundings. This I had to do several times, which I thought was really stupid.

I remember some people from, shoot, I can’t remember, oh yeah, the Head and Spine Injury Department of Florida. I was asked a bunch of questions. The people from the Department of Medicare also asked a bunch of questions, and Medicaid also asked a bunch of questions

The Medicaid woman said, One thing you won’t have to worry about is that you will not have to pay the hospital bill, we will take care of that. My final hospital bill was $275,000. I don’t know how or why they came, but I guess the hospital staff called them. I guess that was status quo.

I remember one time a nurse asked me, Why won’t you keep your gown on? You are naked without it.

I said I don’t like it, it feels very uncomfortable. Why should it bother you?

Well, we don’t like to see you naked.

That is stupid. You are a nurse and seeing me naked shouldn’t bother you. I should be able to be as comfortable as I can, plus I have a sheet over me.

I will find something more suitable for you to wear and both of us will be happy

I don’t remember why I remember that, but it stuck in my head. I thought how screwed up is it that a nurse is embarrassed to see me naked- too much!

I had more visits from my brothers, Bob and Jim. I don’t remember these visits, or those of my son, Billy and his girlfriend Amber. Jimbo and Rita came to visit, but the only thing I remember is smoking.

After a while, I got to eat solid food. It wasn’t real solid, but kind of mushy. They stopped the wonderful and delicious Ensure. The feeding tube was left in my stomach. My doctor came by and said another operation might be helpful.

I said Not by you, you are not touching me ever again, you didn’t do anything anyway.

You make me feel so wanted. There is a place in Miami called the Baskin and Palmer Eye Institute of the University of Miami. You can go there after you are out of the hospital a few days. Just call them and make an appointment. He gave me their address and phone number.

The head nurse came by and I said I wanted to go home.

She said We would like for you to stay a little bit longer

I said What is a little bit longer?

Maybe a couple of weeks, you had a very serious head injury and we want to make sure there won’t be any more complications.

Well I want to go home today, so make it happen.

She went and got one of the head Doctors and he said the same thing the head nurse said.

I asked him Will I ever see again?

Well, we have done everything we can, but after you are out and you go to Miami and see the doctors there, well, we just don’t know.

Then I am getting out of here.

The head nurse said I had to finish one more bottle of antibiotics.

"How long