687 One-Liner Jokes
3/5
()
About this ebook
If it’s laughter you want, then this is the book for you. Short one-line jokes covering a broad variety of topics and ideal for many different occasions. If you are simply searching for a few funny jokes to share with friends, or if you're a professional speaker, or entertainer; you are bound to find some new material within this treasure trove of modern one-liners.
SHORT ONE-LINE JOKES FOR EVERY OCCASION
40 is the new 30? Try telling that to a speed camera!
Do not touch, must be the scariest thing to read in Braille!
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
I have a fear of German sausages! Yes, I fear the wurst!
I invented a new word! Plagiarism!
My recliner and I - we go way back.
Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of!
The zoo is a pretty safe place to fart.
I have a contact lens problem. I have no contact lens solution!
You know what really floats my boat? Buoyancy!
Wolfgang Riebe
Wolfgang began his career as a magician on British television on BBC & ITV, later traveling around the world as a headline act on cruise liners before tackling expeditions throughout the Arctic & Antarctic where he performed world-class illusions to thousands of international passengers.In later years he relocated to Cape Town from where he focused on the EMEA market combining strategically planned illusions with speaking in order to reinforce corporate messaging throughout Africa, Europe and the Middle East. He completed a thesis in Complexity Thinking and its affect on Innovation amongst leadership in multi-national organisations at the York St John university in the UK.In 2012 the National Speakers Association (NSA) awarded Wolfgang the CSP (Certified Speaking Professional) designation, which is the highest award given to any professional speaker in the speaking world. This designation is currently only held by less than 800 professional speakers globally.His passion is to share life truths and connect people through logical thinking and fun, as can be validated through his You Tube channel (inspiringtheworld) with over 1000 videos. In 2015 he appeared as a TEDx speaker and is currently based in Geneva, Switzerland where he focuses on the English Speaking meetings & events market and has performed in over 165 countries during the last 30 years.From symposiums, conferences, strategic planning sessions, cruise liners, television to expeditions, his vast variety of incredible life experiences make him the perfect host as your Keynote Speaker, Master of Ceremonies and Celebrity Comedy Entertainer, turning your whole event into an unforgettable sophisticated experience where creates Memorable Magical Moments for everyone.
Read more from Wolfgang Riebe
Jokes for Magic Tricks Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCool Magic Tricks Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5500 Home Business Ideas Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/550 Handyman Supply & Fit Home Business Ideas Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5100 Travel Tips Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/535 Tips on Saving Money Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Compelling Mental Magic Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/550 Computer & Internet Home Business Ideas Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/542 Easy Magic Tricks Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Comedy Fillers: 200 Quips & One-Liners Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings50 Design & Print Home Business Ideas Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/520 Ways To Cope With Envy Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings100 Quotations to Make You Think! Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5One Liner's You Will Use Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsI Love You 365 Ways of Saying It Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings200 Politically Correct (As Far as Is Humanly Possible) one-Liner Jokes for Magicians Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings52 Vent Acts Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings500 Crazy Questions to Make You Laugh Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsKids Party Magic Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Complexity Simplified Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsVirtual Magic Show Set-Up Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsIt's A Stage I'm Going Through Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5A Further 100 Quotes To Make You Think Rating: 1 out of 5 stars1/535 Tips to Overcome Stage Fright Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings365 Unknown Author Quotes to Keep You Inspired for an Entire Year Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHow to deal with rude customers Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLeadership Skills in Network Marketing Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPositive Thinking: 250 Motivational Quotes Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Related to 687 One-Liner Jokes
Related ebooks
300 Best Jokes: Clean One-Liners and Funny Short Stories Collection (Donald's Humor Factory Book 1) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHardcore Humor.....Your Phd In Dirty Jokes & Kickass Insults Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPunny Puns - The Ultimate Collection Of Awfully Funny, Clever & Witty Puns Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Dirty Jokes Every Man Should Know Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/55,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Best Jokes: For Adults Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5More Hardcore Humor Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDads Just Want to Have Pun! Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWord Play Jokes Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Best Jokes on Earth Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsOne Hundred Very Interesting Jokes Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5One Liner's You Will Use Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsComedy Fillers: 200 Quips & One-Liners Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Best Joke Book (Period): Hundreds of the Funniest, Silliest, Most Ridiculous Jokes Ever Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Absurdly Big Adult Joke Book Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Three Hundred Quite Good Jokes. Volume One. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5300 Best Jokes: Dirty One-Liners and Funny Short Stories Collection (Donald's Humor Factory Book 2) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Dyslexic Walks Into a Bra: A compendium of the best jokes, gags and one-liners Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/51001 Amazing Jokes Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Adult Jokes Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5100+ Insults Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Ultimate Book of Jokes: The Essential Collection of More Than 1,500 Jokes Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Jokes Every Man Should Know Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Die Laughing: Killer Jokes for Newly Old Folks Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Funniest Five Thousand Jokes, Part 2 Rating: 1 out of 5 stars1/5The New Adult Joke Book Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSexist Jokes: Be The Funny One in A Crowd Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5The Laugh-a-Day Book of Bloopers, Quotes & Good Clean Jokes Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling's Disgustingly Dirty Joke Book Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5
Humor & Satire For You
101 Fun Personality Quizzes: Who Are You . . . Really?! Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Sex Hacks: Over 100 Tricks, Shortcuts, and Secrets to Set Your Sex Life on Fire Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Everything I Know About Love: A Memoir Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Best Joke Book (Period): Hundreds of the Funniest, Silliest, Most Ridiculous Jokes Ever Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Mindful As F*ck: 100 Simple Exercises to Let That Sh*t Go! Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Best F*cking Activity Book Ever: Irreverent (and Slightly Vulgar) Activities for Adults Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: the heartfelt, funny memoir by a New York Times bestselling therapist Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Garbage Pail Kids Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/51,001 Facts that Will Scare the S#*t Out of You: The Ultimate Bathroom Reader Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Solutions and Other Problems Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Love and Other Words Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Dad Jokes: Over 600 of the Best (Worst) Jokes Around and Perfect Gift for All Ages! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The 2,548 Wittiest Things Anybody Ever Said Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Screwtape Letters Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I Can't Make This Up: Life Lessons Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Year of Living Biblically: One Man's Humble Quest to Follow the Bible as Literally as Possible Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Anxious People: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Go the F**k to Sleep Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Britt-Marie Was Here: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Nothing to See Here: A Read with Jenna Pick Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Soulmate Equation Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I Will Judge You by Your Bookshelf Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Be Perfect: The Correct Answer to Every Moral Question Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Yes Please Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5John Dies at the End Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Tidy the F*ck Up: The American Art of Organizing Your Sh*t Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar...: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Related categories
Reviews for 687 One-Liner Jokes
2 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
687 One-Liner Jokes - Wolfgang Riebe
FOREWORD
Welcome to many, many laughs! The layout of this book is really simple... as from the next page there are 687 random one-liner jokes collected over the last 3 years, covering a variety of subjects. Occasional picture jokes of the one-liners are included as well.
I am an entertainer & inspirational speaker and 3 years back I launched a website called, www.positivpeople.com where I offer to inspire people every day for a whole year at a time. Within about three weeks of launching this site, a subscriber suggested I add in a few one-liner jokes every fortnight. Hence after 3 years of collecting jokes, this book is now the result.
A genuine mix of topics with up to date one-liners ideal to use in any situation. Whether you are an entertainer, comedian, speaker or just want to have a good chuckle, I am positive you find some inspiration and laughter within these pages.
*****
BONUS FREE COMEDY VIDEOS
Below is a collection of FREE videos with links that should give you many additional laughs.
10 Jokes in 90 Seconds!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJu-Qu-UYN8&index=22&list=PLOlj0zd222BK2cjv99qlrGqi1s0DpL0T-
10 Jokes in 90 Seconds Part 2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McbFJNu0uAM&index=23&list=PLOlj0zd222BK2cjv99qlrGqi1s0DpL0T-
10 Really Lame One-Liners Jokes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NmBZApicgY&index=14&list=PLOlj0zd222BK2cjv99qlrGqi1s0DpL0T-
Funny Diet Quotes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EYY3gMchh8&index=17&list=PLOlj0zd222BK2cjv99qlrGqi1s0DpL0T-
Funny Offensive things to say when people irritate you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0N8XOCvckU&index=16&list=PLOlj0zd222BK2cjv99qlrGqi1s0DpL0T-
Funny Quotes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfAdGHTal9Q&t=21s&list=PLOlj0zd222BJozkKlWrw6VjZGRsPzGQw8&index=3
George Burnes Classic One Liner Jokes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LVgL_2xjgI&index=13&list=PLOlj0zd222BK2cjv99qlrGqi1s0DpL0T-
Joan Rivers Classic One Liner Jokes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqei7pAqPIk&index=12&list=PLOlj0zd222BK2cjv99qlrGqi1s0DpL0T-
Milton Berle Classic One Liner Jokes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8Ob718Hk3o&index=11&list=PLOlj0zd222BK2cjv99qlrGqi1s0DpL0T-
Murphy's Law: 10 Crazy, but True Laws of Life: Part 1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxc52ThutFw&t=20s&list=PLOlj0zd222BJozkKlWrw6VjZGRsPzGQw8&index=2
Murphy's Law: 10 Crazy, but True Laws of Life: Part 2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHxDP2arKjo&t=14s&list=PLOlj0zd222BJozkKlWrw6VjZGRsPzGQw8&index=1
The Magician & the Parrot
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRH4UzPRv3Y&index=18&list=PLOlj0zd222BK2cjv99qlrGqi1s0DpL0T-
*****
40 is the new 30? Try telling that to a speed camera!
A beggar asked me if I had any loose change,
I said, No mate, it's nice and secure thanks.
A blind man walks into a bar, a table and a chair.
A blonde just texted me asking, What does idk stand for?
I texted back, I don't know!' And she replied,
OMG, nobody does!"
A boiled egg is hard to beat!
A Chinese man faked his own death, but his family were suspicious, they didn't bereave him.
A container ship full of blue paint has collided with a container ship full of red paint, the crew have been marooned.
A dog walker was found dead in the local park, police found the dog, but as yet, they have no lead.
A fireman runs into a classroom holding a screwdriver and yells:
Quick, everyone get out. This is not a drill!
A fisherman was trying to learn the alphabet. He got lost at C.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says We don't allow Higgs Bosons in here.
The Higgs Boson replied, Well, without me, you can't have mass.
A hot blonde orders a double entendre at the bar. The bartender gave it to her.
A hungry traveller stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens. A brother is frying chips. Are you the friar?
he asks. No. I'm the chip monk,
he replies.
A man goes to the doctor with a carrot up his nose, and a parsnip in his ear, the doc said, clearly you’re not eating properly.
A man has died after falling into a vat of coffee... it was instant.
A man usually feels better after a few winks, especially if she winks back.
A man walks into the butchers and asks, Can I have an ox tail please?
The butcher replies, Once upon a time...
A man was arrested