miss

Silence of the minds

By

Angelique Dhelhemme

This Book (including any information or referencing) is intended only for the use of the individual or entity who has purchased it, and may contain information that is non-public, proprietary, privileged or confidential. If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any use, dissemination, distribution, or copying of this communication is strictly prohibited

Name: Silence of the Minds

Copyright: This work is copyright; no part shall be reproduced without the  permission of the publisher.

Printed in Australia

First edition: 2017

ISBN 9781520575322

Published by Angelique Dhelhemme

Book design by Angelique Dhelhemme

Forword

This book is very informative and covers everything you need to know about the mental health industry, I appreciate how it gives further information and links to follow up throughout the book if you needed to seek help or make a complaint of some kind. I would not be surprised if this book does not create some controversy and that it will sell very well if widely published.

So much of this information I did not know and now I feel awakened and armed with the knowledge that I needed.

Sincerely a great book,

Bruce Clark.

Dedication

I would like to dedicate this book to all who have suffered at the corruption and red tape involved in the Constitution and Mental Health System.

Men stumble over the truth from time to time, but most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing has happened

Winston Churchill

This book is also dedicated to both those who want to know the truth and those who want to seek help for themselves or someone else who has experienced abuse and corruption within our system.

From out of ignorance equals knowledge which equals power which equals why they conceal knowledge from us

Table of contents

Forword......................................................................3

Dedication..................................................................4

Acknowledgments....................................................8

Introduction..............................................................9

––––––––

Part 1: True Stories

Chapter 1Do You Care to Define Psychosis11

Chapter 2The Story of Drew25

Chapter 3Stigma Meets Its Match29

Part 2: Conformity and Control

Chapter 4Why Conformity and Control31

Chapter 5Spirituality and Mental Illness44

Chapter 6DSM Control55

Chapter 7Your Rights Violated65

Part 3: The Constitution

Chapter 8Bill of Rights76

Chapter 9Power Over You81

Chapter 10Brief History91

Chapter 11Burning Witches99

Part 4: The Government

Chapter 12Big Money105

Chapter 13What Can You Do109

Chapter 14Communism, Fascism, or Democracy123

Chapter 15Hitler and Eugenics133

Part 5: The Corruption

Chapter 16Turning a Blind Eye144

Chapter 17Police Powers and Responsibilities159

Chapter 18Mental Health Corruption166

Part 6: The Acts

Chapter 19Freedom of Information180

Chapter 20Mental Health Act184

Chapter 21Privacy Act189

Part 7: The Doctors and Their Side Effects

Chapter 22Psychiatrists versus Psychologists194

Chapter 23Their Methods205

Chapter 24Their Ignorance217

Chapter 25Their Agenda226

Chapter 26Don’t Take my Word for it238

Part 8: The Medication and Their Side Effects

Chapter 27Illicit Versus Pharmaceutical247

Chapter 28Harmful Side Effects260

Chapter 29Why Only Drugs283

Chapter 30Short Stories293

Part9: Hush Hush! What We All Should Know!

Chapter 31Genocide312

Chapter 32Mkultra320

Chapter 33Brainwashing326

Chapter 34Psychotronics332

Part 10: Alternative Therapies and Methods

Chapter 35Herbs and Healing346

Chapter 36Entities and Exorcisms365

Chapter 37Chinese Medicine377

Chapter 38Cranial Sacral Therapy394

Chapter 39Psychic Awareness, Channelling399

Referencing and Resources409

Glossary413

Further Resources419

Reorder Form423

Acknowledgments

I wish to thank all of those who helped me to write this book by telling me their stories, there were times when I suffered additionally from hearing these stories other than living my own nightmare, and from this I found it hard to abandon the desire to help end suffering.

I only wish that more people would stand up for their rights!

I am a fighter and a survivor but at least I can lay in bed at night and sleep well knowing that I have integrity and substance that most would never aspire to, it has landed me in trouble and I have suffered and lost much, but at least I have been a voice and I never insult my integrity or intelligence.

Introduction

Here’s an Idea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Over 60 years those in power slowly develop a system where they have millions of ill-informed, naïve consumers (brain dead from poor education, computer games, watching TV, prescription drugs and alcohol) paying billions of dollars for health degenerating products to companies who pay millions of dollars to political parties to help their re-election prospects.

In turn millions of people slowly become ill (for unknown reasons??????) which then requires them to rely on a medical system, which makes billions of dollars prescribing treatments and drugs to relieve symptoms.

Everyone has a job (most important at election time) and the self-feeding system goes around.

Governments get re-elected, the bureaucrats keep their jobs and their superannuation, the sweetness industry makes a killing, doctors have so much unnecessary work, therefore they continually complain to the governments that they need more resources and money (paid for by the naïve consumer’s taxes).

Meanwhile the bureaucrats work on lobbying various governments to pass legislation to suppress traditional natural therapies and remedies that have been shown to work for thousands of years, because the alternative practitioners can’t prove they work

And all the time the only loser is the customer-you (if you choose)

Author Unknown

This book is written for many reasons one is to help readers understand what is happening on a magnitude that is affecting the world on a large component, it is subconscious and it is also semi-subconscious as well as being frightfully completely conscious to many survivors and the families and friends involved who have evidently come into contact with mental health on a personal basis. I not only discuss genuine occurrences and substantial information from inside the system, I offer further research and understanding taking into consideration a more tangential way of thinking and perceiving the world at large.

I and many others have suffered abuse, psychological damage, misdiagnosis, discrimination and involuntary treatment from the mental health system, so many of us are conformed to believe that those above us are precise and that they have the power, this book will show you otherwise and prove that they are consequently immoral in their techniques. Conformity is a huge part of life that can be forever changing underneath the guidelines of consumer awareness and insightful spiritual and lateral thinking.

Who are psychiatrists really and what happened to psychologists and counsellors? Is this global healing? No it is the exact contradictory and it is so conflicting in nature I am afraid that the world may be operating and functioning on opposed parallels.

I am not indifferent and I am not crazy, I am intelligent and not dissimilar from many others, I have a personality that is comparable to others yet still I am unique and authentic and that is the way I choose to be. (That exact statement is what would have me diagnosed with having a personality disorder and to be put on drugs involuntary). It takes all kinds to make the world go around why are we being suppressed and oppressed?

Is this Genocide? Is this a way to control the population explosion? Was Hitler right? Are our governments ignorant or controlling? Who defines mental illness? Are we predisposed to this? Is this all about money? Is there a cure? Why are we still guinea pigs? What about the people who really are ill? If you find yourself asking these questions and don’t know the answers, this book will help to untangle the web.

Part 1:

TRUE STORIES

Chapter 1

Do You Care to Define Psychosis?

I was going through a trying time in my life where I was very tired and fighting a situation I never thought I would witness justification from. I had a theft in my apartment whereby my laptop, printer and digital equipment were stolen; I was running a modelling agency at this time that relied on this equipment to function. I made a statement at the police station and investigating started as I had some video footage at the front door, the person who stole the possessions was a criminal and his mother was apparently a member of the local bikers, the police seemed reluctant to care about reprimanding him for these reasons.

This was my first altercation with police as I have never needed them in the past for anything so serious, I believed that they were always there to help, a grandiose thought from a naïve mind I guess. So, as you may imagine my business now suffered, word got out that I was robbed and a young male came to my door saying I know where your laptop is I will bring it back for $500 well I was not falling for this and told him to leave, he then took off with my very expensive birthday gift to myself that was a T500 Samsung phone with all the rest of my contacts in.

I sought around and found out he worked at a local nightclub (run by bikies) and was friends with the initial thief, I then contacted police again who gave me the cold shoulder as they did not want anything to do with it. I took matters into my own hands and contacted the CMC and made formal complaints of misconduct. This did not go down very well with the police officers involved. Meanwhile I was waiting whilst the matter was investigated.

A short time after I was sexually assaulted by a police officer and the reason why I do not know (maybe it was because I was having an investigation done hmmmm!!!!!) but the reason why I was at the police station was because I simply was making a statement against my boyfriend’s ex-wife who was harassing me, simple procedure one might think. I was modelling now and it was in the middle of summer so I had a mini skirt on with a singlet top. I could see the officer looking me up and down with sexual references and I became uncomfortable.

I made a statement and admitted that I retaliated and threw a hammer through her window after many attempts at trying to talk to her and calm her down and stop her from harassing me and following me around, she assaulted my car along with myself before I reached my threshold. They then proceeded to tell me that I was under arrest for malicious damage, I was so stunned I wish I had not been truthful now, they picked me up very approximately and took me out to the police car, along the way the police officer had handcuffed me, he then pushed me up against the car and thrust his genitals into my rear, he then retreated and pulled my skirt up and thrust himself again holding the cuffs very tightly.

I fought to get him off looking for the other officer, of course the other officer then turned his head away as if he never happened upon seeing. The officer handling me was a Senior Sergeant by the way. My wrist began to bleed from the struggle or the fact that he had a firm hold of the cuffs, I was worried more about him not being able to control himself and had thoughts about being raped in hand cuffs in broad daylight.

It took him time to realise what he had done in front of the other officer I was totally fathomed and felt extremely violated, I was then thrown into the car and sent to another station for arrest. I do not call on police for help anymore!

The treatment I received was dire, the air-conditioning was turned up so I froze, I had a panic attack as I suffer from claustrophobia, I began regurgitating bile and all of my whims for blankets and water where ignored.

I was treated like an abandoned animal. I had heard stories before of what police did to citizens and only half believed what I heard now I knew it was all in truth. I was coming to a horrific realisation of the reality of another side of life.

I walked out of there with quite a few charges, I could not understand how you could accumulate so many charges, it was then that I knew this was all because I had contacted CMC and had their mates investigated, this was the way their brotherhood worked so to speak. I was charged for nuisance, resist arrest, malicious damage, etc. the Sergeant charged me for assault saying I bit him which was an outward lie to protect himself against any repercussions on my behalf, A solicitor I appointed said that most of these charges where minor and called misdemeanours, well they did not feel minor to me at all considering my record was absolutely clean and lucky to have parking fines.

I was told to be very careful what I do from now on as I have opened up a can of worms in regard to the CMC. I took this on but me being me and the self-righteous person I am went forward and contacted the CMC again along with Anti-Discrimination Board, Chief Commissioner of Police, and Ethical Standards Command.

I put the whole ordeal in a twenty-one-page statement, I kept all this information concealed from my son so as not to worry him, I moved interstate to protect us from any further harassment. I had to fly or drive back from my move each time I had to go to court. This went on for so long I sent my son to his grandfathers over the holidays so I could tidy up loose ends without him seeing how much stress I was under. I was being told to plead guilty to all charges that way it would be much easier, I again was not impressed with this and changed solicitors a few times, I began to get very heated with the system.

One particular court day I again was in reality arguing with my solicitor over the certainty that I wanted to plead my case he assured me the charges were nothing and it would be safer to plead guilty, I spoke up in court and said ‘’am I allowed to speak the judge then said to me ‘’one more word out of you and I will have you for contempt of court" I asked what contempt of court was, furthermore I was genuine in saying this, he then stated something to the effect of referring to his constitutional law book, I was so angry for the way he spoke to me, I told him to chew his constitutional law book up and see how it comes out the other end. I could not believe I said this; I had reached my threshold with the whole system and felt very hard done by as I was subsequently innocent in all of this.

He then arrested me and had me sent to jail for seven days, I can’t go into how I felt and what I endured but it changed my whole outlook on life I was so shattered my mental state was not clear, I cried all the time I was in there. I was being punished for not doing as I was told whilst trying to state my chain of events in innocence that had turned to reputed anger. I learnt that the police always have the advantage, and once you are charged unless you have a solicitor that you are paying good money for you have no expectation, and yes, it is better to plead guilty even when you are not. I was exceedingly scared of having anything on my record so wanted to beseech my case. I just wish I knew the law like I do now it does not work in your favour and it never will unless you have big bucks to spend, or friends in the know. And that’s the way the cookie crumbles.

I began to change as person, I felt overwhelmed with injustice, prejudice and discrimination. My rose-coloured glasses had disappeared once and for all and along came the emotions to match my dismal recollections, I had not heard much at all from the agencies I contacted and had to have the court cases adjourned thus. When people use the adage ‘’when it rains it pours’’ it so very true in my circumstance. There were times when I could not make it interstate to go to court so phoned and sent faxes asking for an adjournment these where ignored without my knowledge and I was charged again for breaches of bail and warrants were sent out etc. This in turn led to more trouble.

I was arrested once without knowing they ignored my paperwork and sent to the lock up yet again, this time I was treated even more cruelly in fact I was stripped naked and kicked into a cell with my clothes thrown after me by a female officer, upon leaving the station I again was pushed out and told that if I sat at the front waiting for a taxi they would again arrest me, I later found out that a lot of information was on my file that came up each time my name was punched into the computer in particular the CMC matters and the Sergeant who assaulted me had named me as a biter, which meant I was to take some forceful management each time I came alongside any police matters.

There were other instances and a few times I was followed by police and harassed, I presumed they were trying to teach me a lesson but I was not going to back down it had gone too far with injustice for me to back down. I was really missing my son dearly as he was so much a part of my life and most of what I lived for and had ambition for, so I made plans to move to another location on doing this I met a person and his father in my travels who had broken down and needed to pick their boat up from another location at the gold coast, we were further up north and I was heading south so offered them a lift, we stopped at Harvey Bay and had a two day holiday, we formed a relationship and I felt safe with this as his father was present with us, I had just received another laptop through insurance and he asked to use it whilst I was at the beach.

I returned from the beach to find that he had been using my computer to copy false cheques, he used some program to forge them and cut them out in front of me, I was very shocked that he did this in front of me, I was somewhat of a very square person so found it hard to believe he showed what he was doing, I became silent and mentioned how much trouble he could get into for doing this, his father told me to relax they had both obviously done this before, At this point I panicked and asked that we separate and I have nothing to do with any of this.

This did not go down very well and they took my car keys off me and said I was to do as I was told, He began arguing with me stating that it was nothing and I was to shut my mouth, he then pulled my hair and put his hand around my mouth silencing me, I knew I had to follow instructions from here, they had all my belongings and my car. I became scared and silent my mind was racing over so many escape ideas I could not make sense of what to do, they drove from place to place cashing cheques and buying goods.

My mind was in a huge spin of what to do, driving along to the next destination I began to cry, I tried to keep it to myself, He yelled at me to shut up and sent me a swift back hander, wow!!! it nearly knocked me out, my lip blew up straight away he then kept beating me continuously whilst he was driving the car, I was bleeding from my mouth my eye was also swollen and in the rear vision mirror I looked a mess, I tried to wind down my window for air and so someone would notice, My tinted windows where too dark for anyone to see in, this made him attack me once more as he knew what I was trying to do. I received numerous punches to the head and the stomach, me being a tiny size eight had no strength to fight back, I was out numbered too so had to take it on.

That night I was getting ready for a bath, they had hired a motel to sleep over, He was getting angry with me I think because he had to hide me due to my face being so beaten up, he came into the bathroom and started to choke me I fought continuously until he let go he then heaved my head into the bath water and I can say my life flashed before my eyes during the struggle, I put up a good fight, I was not about to drown, At one stage I actually thought I was in a movie because my brain could not fathom that what was happening was actually true. All I kept thinking was ’is this my night to die

The father just watched all of this happen he never even said a word until he pulled me out of the bath and threw my head into the ground, he then grabbed a pillow and started to suffocate me, all I felt was his hands so strong pushing down on my face, I still managed to breathe a little but felt his strength was what would eventually kill me. This person was truly trying to kill me out of severe rage.  I heard the father say to his son "’leave her alone now that’s enough’’ he got off me and I lay still trying to regain breathe and strength. The father put me on the bed and I lay their trembling thinking what was going to happen next I eventually fell asleep; all I could think about was how I was to get out of this and then I remembered that they said their car was ready which meant a short trip in the morning.

That night I woke up to him suffocating me with his hands again I knew what was going to happen next so I did what I knew to do from my mother working in rape crisis, I consented to save myself from damage and suffocation, I could not yell out he had his hand over my mouth, so with all my strength I resisted to not resist. I have never felt so filthy so degraded and so raped by my soul in my whole life. I never thought any of this would happen to me. I lay there still and frozen like an empty shell with nowhere to turn, I became catatonic and could not speak at all, I was frozen almost all over just lucky to be able to use my mobility skills.

The next day after laying awake all night afraid to close my eyes again, we went to a place that I recognised as the gold coast, my sister lived not far so I carefully listened to all that I could, mind you I was in a state of shock and my mind was not functioning correctly, we stopped at some-ones house where there were kids and a woman close to my age, she knew something was wide off the mark with me but also knew nothing could be said or done at that time.

Within moments the father and son both left in my car and left me behind at the woman’s house she went with them and I was left with the children and a man asleep on the lounge, I saw this as my chance so grabbed a phone and called my sister, I tried to explain what had happened I did not know where I was of course so went outside to the street, I asked some children riding bikes where I was and what the street was called, I relayed this to my sister who then was there to pick me up within five minutes.

I have never been so happy to see a friendly face, I still could not talk much I was still feeling dismayed and disillusioned by all that had happened to me, she could tell I was beaten and held captive, they turned up in my car as I was ready to leave, my sister confronted them and they gave in and handed the keys to her. This was daylight with plenty of children and witness’s around so they must have given in on those grounds.

She took me home to her place and I tried my best to explain the story, I got better as the next couple days went by, I made a statement to the CIB on what had happened, they were caught but never charged for the assault as I had no witnesses and they both lied and had the same story so it was two against one. This made me feel sick; again, the law had abandoned me. And do you think I had the money for a good lawyer after all my losses and grievances that I was going through.

I again had to attend a court date further north so headed to court everything was fine I adjourned the case and had plans of appointing a new lawyer to my area, I decided to live close to my sister as it would be good for my son to spend some time with his cousins, I would have to live with my sister for a while until I found a house, On my way home which was a five hour drive I became anxious and started to go through what is called post-traumatic stress, I began to lose breath and see recollections of what had recently happened, this was hard to take whilst I was driving, I put it down to being tired and as time went by my thoughts became worse and I found myself in that catatonic state again, I went to buy a drink and cigarettes at a servo only fifteen minutes from my sister’s house, I also needed to ask for directions.

I walked into the shop and froze, I don’t know why I froze I just did, the shop assistant asked me what was wrong and I could not answer I just stood there unable to talk unable to cry just frozen with a mind that was doing overtime trying to voice my concerns, I feel I had had enough my body and mind went into overdrive. The stress was all too much and all I wanted was for an angel too come down from god to pick me up in her wings and take me to a resting place so I could spend one day of not having to worry or feel pain and suffering, I had to keep going for my son so I kept pushing myself I know I was going through a hell of a nervous breakdown.

I looked so much like a zombie the assistant phoned the police, I knew what he was doing and hoped that I may be able to talk to the police, I thought maybe I needed some kind of protection to make me feel safer, later I found out that he was also scared that I was there to steal from the service station, I considered that a bit paranoid, I guess they are trained to gear like that, anyway the police had some idea that I was very distraught and took me straight to hospital I wound up in emergency, no one knew what was wrong as I could not speak, I could hear but I could not speak, the feeling was overwhelming and very disturbing which was making me even worse, I was given pills and woke up in a mental ward.

I was so medicated I could hardly lift my arms, it took three days of still being incoherent and disjointed not just from my cessation but also from the sedatives they gave me, once I felt better I could tell the doctor what had come to pass they diagnosed me with post-traumatic stress and anxiety disorder, I was released after a couple days, they gave me no scripts for medication so I proceeded to a local GP for some anti-depressants. I went to live with my sister and my son came home, everything was getting better I counselled myself through some self-help books and some grieving information I downloaded off the internet, the hospital did not give me any counselling so I had no choice but to help myself.

I kept a Po Box so the police could not harass me as the investigations where still underway, My son and I moved into a lovely townhouse a few streets down from my sister, I kept everything going in regards to court cases, I was however very traumatised and tired of the whole ordeal, Everything seemed harder and seemed to take so long I was tired of having things hang over my head all the time and just wanted it all to end, I had telephone conference conversations with the police involved and numerous letters that had to be responded to, that where very emotionally draining. I had appointed a new lawyer who was not even interested in my case.

My son had turned thirteen and was beginning to play up a little, hence I phoned my brother and asked if he could come and stay with me for a while and perhaps have some male influence around him. My brother is schizophrenic and had been for some years, at times he would come and stay with members of the family and go to hospital if he felt he needed to. He agreed to arrive, and on his arrival, I noticed that he was not well and looked very pale and sickly his skin was very damp to touch and he was constantly sweating, I found myself changing his bed and the lounge every day, occasionally a few times a day it was that bad.

There were times when he would begin convulsing and I started to get incredibly worried I knew his illness and I knew this was the new medication he had been taking that was executing the side effects, he had gained a lot of weight and his skin was yellow. I looked up the medication which was clozapine and found that it is the last resort medication and that it must go through approval at Canberra before administering the drug as it can cause many harmful side effects, I also found out he was on a very heavy dose of it. This did not impress me at all, as I know he was satisfactory on other medication, sometimes I felt like he was going to die in my arms I was afraid to leave the house at times.

I had appointments with his doctors and case managers, This one day I went into an interview with his doctors, it was done via webcam, I stated to them that he was in a very bad way and I was worried that he was having ill effects from the treatment, They refused to listen to me and stated that this is the last resort medication as he has been trialled on everything else, I became disgruntled and said to them ‘’well if that is the case I would like for him to see a Chinese Medical Doctor to aid in the side effects of his medication" They instantly became defensive and accused me of wanting to take him off his medication I again repeated myself to assure them of their ignorance in not listening to me, my only aim was to aid in the side effects, I knew they had control over what he took so was running this by them, I could have easily taken him to a doctor without their knowledge.

This did not go down very well and I heard over the webcam one of the doctors say ‘’She is intelligent too’’ in a very corrupting, demeaning manner. I was shocked at hearing this and wondered why this had anything to do with the fact that my brothers health was in question here, not my IQ, it was quite clear we all had opposing views and it was quite clear who was in charge and who in the future would choose to abuse their power (not that they already hadn’t), I left feeling distressed and dismayed, they made an appointment for two days’ time to come in again and give him a Cogentin needle to counteract his side effects, just more drugs that his system had to deal with.

My brother was always an extremely intelligent person with a very inquisitive mind that wanted to discover everything and anything; he never had a respectable outlet for his intelligence so went inside himself which has been the main cause of his illness. he was always ahead of himself in spirituality and mysticism thus being more evolved than most people cared to be, this confused him at times to be in a material focused world, his confusion led to his illness, any type of spiritual counselling would have helped him tremendously but in this day and age no-one cares and drugs are the best anecdote to suppress emotions. He also took illicit drugs that opened his psyche to even more spiritual occurrences which then turned to some spiritual distortions, (I will explain further in chapter 7).

He never trusted the Doctors and from this day forth neither did I, it seems I genuinely thought they would be concerned about a patient’s wellbeing and that the drugs were just a stepping stone out of suppression and into counselling for recovery. This is not the way it works at all, in fact it is the complete reverse, my experience and knowledge with natural therapies and remedies had taught me a lot about alternative methods, I knew how harmful designer drugs where, I knew all about the governments patent on them, I knew why they always suppressed natural therapies and remedies and yet here I was in a situation that I was forever warned about from my discussion groups with fellow healers and natural therapists.

So, my life dramatically changed from here on in, my son went off to school that morning whilst I got my brother ready for the appointment, I waited at the front desk for the case manager, he arrived and asked if I wanted to come into the treatment room, I was reluctant yet agreed as I wanted to be a support for my brother, He was in the emergency/arrivals area so I stood by and watched, he looked so peaceful lying there.

I was hoping this would work somehow, I started to look around thinking what do I do next, when a Doctor came over and introduced himself (Dr Gno) he had a clipboard with a blank white piece of paper on it, he started asking me generic questions like how old are you and where are you in the family, I gave him my age and said second eldest etc. and then out of the blue he said to me ‘’I think you are psychotic’’, I was so taken back, I felt like I could have punched him for saying that, I sarcastically said to him Can you define psychotic he then said "I don’t have to’’ I wondered what the hell was going on, he nodded to security who then came over and gripped me by the arms and took me to a nearby room and sat me down, they then brought nurses in and laid me down and injected a needle into me that put me to sleep.

Now who can tell me that this was not set up prior? Let’s brainstorm; two days before, I have disputes with the doctors and then suddenly I am asked to be present where my brother is getting attended to, a Doctor approaches me for no apparent reason, asked me ridiculous questions with no reason, I then get called psychotic, put in a room, and injected to sleep. I never put up a struggle or yelled or screamed I took it all moderately well as I was nearly motionless trying to recognise what had just happened, it all seemed so surreal to me. I am sorry, am I in another country perhaps? have I gone through a time warp? or am I having a major delusion that will pass in just a few minutes? I still have trouble understanding how such a thing could happen, where are our human rights, and who gives someone the right to diagnose on the spot and then to heavily sedate and incarcerate in a matter of moments.

Did I forget to tell you that my mentor in life was Anita Roddick (founder of the body shop) Why????? Because she was not just a smart business woman or a hippy goddess, but a Human Rights Activist, I read her books for inspiration along with others Nelson Mandela, Dalai Lama, Deepak Chopra, I even read Mein Kempf by Hitler to grasp an understanding of abuse of power. For ten years, prior I had been delving into many interests to help me structure a business plan, it necessitated political agendas, and human rights involvement. It relied on natural therapies and remedies and also healing modalities taking a broader perspective into holistic healing and health.

Quite ironic really considering, how I am now in opposition to the industry and government association that challenges my beliefs. It was always in my planning to challenge the system, but who knew they would corrupt my whole entire soul and being from every possible opportunity they could take and exploit. I studied Reiki for a little over three years being a level 4 and quite often my Reiki Master would warn me of the Governments conspiracy to suppress and exploit the interests of Healers and Natural Therapists.

Well I am still here, Pssst...... Guys I wasn’t ready for the showdown!!!!!!!!! And it did not have to be like this, all I wanted was a unified movement for holistic social, economic, and political change prepared for in a much more democratic manner I might add. Well I am ready now and so are many others who are ready to stand up for their rights, years of reading self-help books, great friends, inner strength and education in psychology helped me to not become crazy or indifferent. I went through very challenging times and many a time I questioned my beliefs and my state of mind, I am just lucky I knew how to counsel myself through it.

I awoke from my involuntary slumber; I did not know what day it was or where I was, they had given me a drug named acuphase and I was out for a few days, it sedates you for about three days, did they take into consideration that my son did not know where I was NO!!!!!!!, This was the first and foremost thing on my mind I thought I was in a nightmare, I panicked, my first visit to hospital was understandable but this visit was truly traumatic, if you’re not crazy when you go in be careful you will be when you leave. I started to yell out that I wanted a nurse they ignored me for hours, a nurse came in and told me to be quiet, what had I done to deserve to be locked up in this horrible room with no toilet and a small window, I asked to go to the toilet and she let me.

I asked to see a doctor and she said when one is available, on my way back from the toilet I started to cry and say please don’t put me in there again and she called for more nurses who forcibly pushed me in there, a few minutes later they came in with a needle and injected it into my rear and I fell asleep, I can’t remember much of what happened next all I know was I was so emotional over my son I could not bear the pain I was worried for him that he was worried about me and did not know where I was, I constantly cried and crawled in the foetus position trying to bear the pain and anguish. I am crying my eyes out as I write this and many other entries in this book, I know I am scarred and I know I will never heal from this completely unless I attempt some kind of hypnosis, I must live with so much for the rest of my life and I will never forgive the system for doing this to me and my son.

After a few days (I think), they let me out of the hell room I was in and put me in with other patients, I was so delirious from my time in there and had no strength I felt so weak from the drugs and found it hard to concentrate on things, my speech was thwarted and I began to feel really stupid which was not my personality at all.

I had a nurse approach me and give me a tablet I took it not wanting to cause any trouble and wind up in the ICU room again, Ten minutes later I went in to see a doctor who spoke to me in a very objective tone, she asked me ridiculous questions like do you hear voices, are you afraid that someone is chasing you, I looked at her like she was an idiot and said no of course I don’t, I tried to ask her what I was doing here and when am I leaving she ignored every question I asked, as this was happening, I started to get the effects from the medication I had just taken, my face began to jar and my chin connected to my neck forcibly with a lot of muscle twitching going on, I could not speak as my tongue was paralysed and she studied me for some time with such an ignorance and non-feeling manner, I started to cry as the pain became tremendous, I was trying to say help and nothing came out but dribble, she then called over for a nurse to give me more medication that she said would counteract the drug, after a few minutes I felt semi-normal again,  I could not fathom how cold she was, I walked out of there so upset and so bewildered what if something even more serious had have happened to me.

I began to ask questions to the nurses who just fobbed me off, they stopped giving me needles and gave me what is called olanzapine it still made me feel tired but nowhere near as much as what the needle did. I had nothing on me I could not call anyone and they would not let me try to use a white pages I just had to sit and be in hospital drugged out of my mind hoping for the best, I remember my older sister coming to visit me she told me that they had called her and said we have your sister she is trying to take your brother off the medication so we have her in isolation, she was not allowed to visit for days I do not know why, when she came I was so relieved, I asked her to please check on my son and explain what had happened and that he could stay at the neighbours etc., she knew damn well there was nothing wrong with me and found it all quite alarming and knew it was as much out of her control as we had already had issues with what had been done to my brother.

I was not to know that from this point on, my life would absolutely fall apart and any attempt to hold it together would fail due to the effects the medication and the involuntary order had on me. Every night I cried myself to sleep not only missing my son and trying to find a way to