There are plenty of mentors and coaches out there who will give you their take on what it means to change your life. But very few of them have the clear way of articulating it that Rosetta’s guest on this episode of Happy Black Woman, Debrena Jackson Gandy, has. Debrena is a prolific author whose writing and teaching come from her own experience. She’s walked the journey she leads others on and has carefully observed and learned as she’s taken that journey. This conversation is powerfully intriguing and will give you the push you need to begin the steps toward transformation inside that will result in the changes you want to see on the outside. Your external world cannot be in order if your internal world is a mess. Many of us look at the things going on in our world and feel out of control. We want things to change. We want things to be wildly different than what we see, but we don’t know how to start the ball rolling in that direction. Our guest on this episode of Happy Black Woman is Debrena Jackson Gandy, a relationship coach, author, speaker, and so much more - and she insists that your external world cannot be ordered, peaceful, and strong if your inner world is a mess. On this episode, she reveals the things that keep us from addressing what’s going on inside us and gives practical advice on how you can begin a journey of personal transformation. As a woman, you are a gift. As Debrena Jackson Gandy was walking her own path toward personal healing and transformation she went through a season where her marriage was falling on very hard times. She believed that her relationship with her husband was inevitably heading toward divorce - though it wasn’t what she wanted. At one point, when she reached her lowest moment she screamed at God, “What do you want me to do!?” She wasn’t really asking a question but she heard the still, small voice of the Holy Spirit say to her in reply, “Thank you for finally asking.” That was the point when she began to walk through the creation account in Genesis and discovered a wonderful truth: As a woman, she is a gift. You can learn the powerful difference that truth makes by listening to this episode. Marriage is a divine design that requires divine guidance. Every marriage has its hard times. It’s a given, simply because marriages are made up of two needy people who are each in need of growth. What Debrena Jackson Gandy discovered is that the relationship is not only about each person getting their needs met. And it’s not only about two people coming together to work as partners in life. She discovered that marriage is a divine design, created by God to accomplish extraordinary things. Without the divine guidance of God, it’s an uphill battle. You can learn how Debrena learned to receive the guidance God has to offer and how it changed her marriage, on this episode of Happy Black Woman. There are things you need to experience before you’re ready for the right man. Many women - and black women in particular - move into relationships with men out of a desire to fill an emptiness in their own souls. They feel insecure, so they seek a strong man to help them feel secure. They feel alone, so they seek a man to be their comfort or partner. They feel unlovable so they find themselves enjoying the attention of a man even if it’s only sexual in nature. Debrena Jackson Gandy has learned that no woman is ready for a relationship with a man until she has first established some foundational truths in her own life, in her own being that enable her to be valued and treated well within the relationships she enjoys. On this episode, you’ll hear how personal transformation and the steps leading to it are prerequisites to a healthy and happy relationship. Outline of this great episode [0:30] Rosetta’s guest today, Debrina Jackson Gandy. [2:29] Personal transformation via beliefs (interior) extending to the life (exterior). [4:31] How Debrina got interested in the issue of transformation. [12:14] The concepts D