Wine List

La Sangria ...........................................................................................................................1
Persian Persuasion .............................................................................................................1
Petrus Romanus ..................................................................................................................2
What is Logos? ....................................................................................................................3
Mi Chicana Mexicana ........................................................................................................3
Deconstructing the Tower of Babel....................................................................................4
Society Sucks! .....................................................................................................................6
Character Development ......................................................................................................6
Pater Roaster .......................................................................................................................7
Letter to Destiny... ...............................................................................................................8
How We Think ....................................................................................................................9
The Mighty Oak ................................................................................................................10
A Tree in the Forest ..........................................................................................................12
'Round-the-way' Girl ........................................................................................................12
A Feeling so Sublime ........................................................................................................13
Covergirl ............................................................................................................................13
The Price ...........................................................................................................................14
Older than Jesus ...............................................................................................................15
Birthday Wishes ................................................................................................................16
Time No Longer ................................................................................................................16
A Bat Without a Cave .......................................................................................................17
Jehovah Arithmetic ...........................................................................................................17
Ears 2 Hear .......................................................................................................................18
The Goddess Diane ...........................................................................................................19
Ægyptus .............................................................................................................................21
Da Real Miss America ......................................................................................................21
Joker's Wild.......................................................................................................................22
Some Antics .......................................................................................................................24
Mediatrix Reloaded ...........................................................................................................29
Women's Rites? .................................................................................................................30
BusyCon Man....................................................................................................................32
We Speak As One ..............................................................................................................33
The Desert .........................................................................................................................33
Rosemary ...........................................................................................................................34
Liebesbrief .........................................................................................................................38
Cosmetology ......................................................................................................................38
Miracles God Can't Perform ............................................................................................43
HEART-BROKEN!!! .......................................................................................................47
Miracles God Can Perform...............................................................................................48
True Blue...........................................................................................................................49
The Patchwork Balloon ....................................................................................................50
Love-life.............................................................................................................................51
Some Choice Words ..........................................................................................................52
Harvest Home....................................................................................................................52
Logical Circus ...................................................................................................................53
Humor in Cuneiform ........................................................................................................54
Weird Science....................................................................................................................57
Quasi-Land........................................................................................................................66
Them Other Land..............................................................................................................67
Epistle to the Black Churches .........................................................................................68
Promised Land ..................................................................................................................69
The Wild Horseman ..........................................................................................................70
Missions Impossible ..........................................................................................................70
By What Death ..................................................................................................................72
Pray-cation ........................................................................................................................72
Jamaica Queens ................................................................................................................74
Miami (Mi amiga) .............................................................................................................75
Who Am I? ........................................................................................................................75
Sick Christian....................................................................................................................76
Fortune Cookie Wisdom ...................................................................................................79
Tiger of Lanzhou...............................................................................................................81
The Time of Night is Bleak...............................................................................................82
Forever and a Day?...........................................................................................................82
1-2-3-4-5-6.........................................................................................................................85
For Ever You.....................................................................................................................86
Cataclysm ..........................................................................................................................86
Like... .................................................................................................................................93
My Forever Lover..............................................................................................................94
Kite String Theory.............................................................................................................94
Pinhead..............................................................................................................................95
Virtual Reality ...................................................................................................................96
Now I Won.........................................................................................................................97
It's About Time! ................................................................................................................97
The Great Faith Debate ..................................................................................................100
I Can... .............................................................................................................................102
Jamaican Duppy-Story ...................................................................................................104
Jeringalem.......................................................................................................................104
Silly Sally .........................................................................................................................105
Is-Real and Is-Lame........................................................................................................106
Burned at the Stake.........................................................................................................107
Sweet Reina .....................................................................................................................109
Precious Princess ............................................................................................................109
Blackballed! ....................................................................................................................110
Forever Learning ............................................................................................................111
¿El Pueblo Unido? ..........................................................................................................111
The Box and the Bottle ...................................................................................................113
Caramel Limericks..........................................................................................................114
The Burden of Irie ..........................................................................................................115
Helen of Tyre...................................................................................................................118
The Last Temptation of Ulysses......................................................................................119
Terminator X ...................................................................................................................120
Genetic Exchange Student .............................................................................................122
African Dream.................................................................................................................127
Di Cleva Ruse ..................................................................................................................128
Edensong .........................................................................................................................130
California Screamin' ......................................................................................................131
Tinsel Town .....................................................................................................................134
Asian Persuasion ............................................................................................................134
Jobama ............................................................................................................................135
The FOX and the Wolf ...................................................................................................138
Responsibility ..................................................................................................................140
The Original Bail-out .....................................................................................................140
Dr. Feelgood....................................................................................................................141
Why'm I Angry?! ............................................................................................................150
Insane in the Membrane.................................................................................................151
POW*MIA.......................................................................................................................152
Holding On......................................................................................................................152
The NewTen Commandments ........................................................................................153
Bad Chemistry .................................................................................................................155
Chemical Reactions.........................................................................................................157
This World is Hell!..........................................................................................................160
Chemical Solution...........................................................................................................160
Gay Messiah ....................................................................................................................166
New World Disorder .......................................................................................................167
The 12-Schlep Program ..................................................................................................169
Riot of Fire ......................................................................................................................182
The Brave Knight ............................................................................................................184
Sir Petralot ......................................................................................................................186
Prayer Chains..................................................................................................................186
Work Daze .......................................................................................................................190
Solomon's Goddess .........................................................................................................191
Mujer Mejor ....................................................................................................................191
Understanding the Trinity ..............................................................................................192
Love Can..........................................................................................................................195
Are Mormons Christians? ..............................................................................................195
Are JWs Saved?...............................................................................................................204
Is Scientology a Cult? .....................................................................................................205
The Cult of Self-Realization ...........................................................................................206
Protestink! .......................................................................................................................207
A Letter from St. Jerome to Pope Saint Damasus I.......................................................208
Jesus Didn't Die For My Sins!! .....................................................................................209
Bad Religion....................................................................................................................209
The Shakespeare Code....................................................................................................211
The Contestant ................................................................................................................215
Blake's Take ....................................................................................................................216
Gangster Gospel .............................................................................................................216
The Doors ........................................................................................................................217
Obsession.........................................................................................................................224
I Ain't No N*gger!! ........................................................................................................224
The Semiotics of God ......................................................................................................225
I Am Me (Emma I)..........................................................................................................226
I Neva Knew ....................................................................................................................227
Sgt. Pepper's Dictionary .................................................................................................228
Bedsheets .........................................................................................................................231
Papa Don't Preach! ........................................................................................................233
A Beautiful Mind ............................................................................................................233
Why Must I Study?..........................................................................................................236
School Prayer ..................................................................................................................236
It's a Hazmat Life............................................................................................................236
Thai-dye...........................................................................................................................243
Fun-n-Games ..................................................................................................................244
Imagine I'm an Enigma..................................................................................................245
Greta und die Gestapo.....................................................................................................246
Rough Love .....................................................................................................................247
True Reflections ..............................................................................................................248
Litter Alley .......................................................................................................................249
Jamaican 'Duppy' Story .................................................................................................255
How to Handle Self-Abuse .............................................................................................256
Priest Fatigue ..................................................................................................................257
Café Demetrio .................................................................................................................258
Marriage Vows ................................................................................................................262
Satanic Santa ..................................................................................................................263
The Night Before SEXmas .............................................................................................267
Dr. Mindbender...............................................................................................................268
Elegy ................................................................................................................................275
Theory of Devolution ......................................................................................................276
Is Grace Illegal?..............................................................................................................277
Falasha ............................................................................................................................282
Nights in White Satin......................................................................................................283
See You at the Turnstile! ................................................................................................283
The Eavesdropper ...........................................................................................................285
The Art of Pillow-Fu.......................................................................................................285
New Jack Church............................................................................................................286
Levirate Marriage ...........................................................................................................288
Prayer to Isis....................................................................................................................290
Moonlighting Strangers..................................................................................................292
¡Llame Ahora!.................................................................................................................293
The Winding Path ...........................................................................................................296
Play Ball!.........................................................................................................................296
Star-Power.......................................................................................................................302
Dirty-Talkin'....................................................................................................................304
A Haiku 4 You Too... ......................................................................................................305
 Foreplay
The fewer the people who read this book,
the greater its success.

Gangster Gospel is a completely made-up work of fiction. It is about a

Jamaican-American grad student living at the dawn of the third
millennium who is suddenly received into Gangster's Paradise and told
all cosmic mysteries by the Blessed Virgin -- who, by the way, plays a
mean game of Canasta and can open a Smirnoff with a car key! Upon
instructing the aforementioned grad student on all matters concerning
faith and morals, she sent him back and told him to write these things in
a book and preach it to the nations in the name of her son Jesus and to
the glory of the Father. Amen.

(This work contains language suitable for miners, but not for minors.
You dig?)

(D) Damnright! 2009 New Jack Church

All 'Rites' reserved!
1
La Sangría
V1: I cannot wait to give you all my love
You are the one that I am dreaming of
You got the body that was made for love
Just like an angel coming from above

Ch: Si puedes hacer la sangría

Voy a te canto todavía
Mi cancion de la amiga
De quien es siempre mi María

V2: The way you look tonight is so divine

You are a masterpiece of God's design
Your kisses are to me as sweet as wine
I give you ev'rything because you're mine

V3: Le veo baile en el Malecón

Te gustaría mio corazon.
Me ganas veo le en mi salon.
I never knew how much I was alone!

Persian Persuasion
Blessed Virgin of Elam,
My tongue is soaked in spice
ready to surprise you when we kiss.
My love burns for you
as the fires of Zoroaster.
Hide my flame in the caves of Tehran
as the sandstorm threatens to extinguish it;
And it shall surely bless thee, desert Delilah,
as your delicate shoulders feel the coarse hairs
of the Persian rug on which you lie.
2
Petrus Romanus
I am the great Prophet -- that was, and is (which I guess would make me
a whiz!) Nevertheless, I am sent by the Blessed Virgin Mary to preach
her gospel in an era of mass-media, mass-culture, mass-consumption
and mass-destruction. We are entering an age of mass-communication
and mass-transit. We are entering critical mass! Hell, we've got more
mass than Massachusetts! And that reminds me, when was the last time
you attended Mass, you goddamn sinner!

I am the one we've been waiting for... The Apparition who communicates
with me (the Blessed Virgin Mary) has entrusted me, her loyal and most
humble servant, I, Petrus Romanus (accent on the a!) to tell the people of
the late great planet Earth that if we don't get our sh*t together, our
nation will be brought to its knees faster than a Dutch foreign exchange
student on prom night!

My little children... The Blessed Extra-Virgin has miraculously told me

through the dispensation of numerous miracles and registered gifts that
we must stop waiting for change and start changing our ways -- we must
take stock of ourselves instead of just taking stock off our shelves -- we
must stop fearing the end, and instead, start ending the fear and mass-
hysteria that has gripped our nation... if there were any more fear up in
here, it would generate its own atmos-fear!

So what's the answer? Well, if told you that, you probably wouldn't buy
my book. So, I'll make a deal with you, I'll put the answer in my
aforementioned book, and if you read it and don't instantly convert to
Roman Catholicism, I'll refund your money. So what have you got to
lose? -- Try my product!

Blessed are those who read this book, for they shall laugh so hard, their
face will hurt... wait! -- that's not a blessing!... (or is it?...)

I am the GREAT PROPHET PETRUS ROMANUS

The one and lonely!
I am wiser than Solomon playing a solo, man!
Ask and it shall be given;
Seek and ye shall find;
Show me yours and I'll show you mine!
FRESH... for '09, you suckas!!
3

What is Logos?
In the Beginning was the Logos,
and the Logos was with God,
and the Logos was God.

What is Logos? Logos does not mean Logic -- It means Word. All
logical arguments require a premise except the following: "If nothing,
then nothing." Therefore, only an empty universe would be a logical
universe. The Universe exists, therefore it is not logical, it is
grammatical.

"Not logical" does not mean "imperfect." Existence is made perfect in its
opposition to non-existence. God explains himself to Moses by using the
logical argument "I AM that I AM." It is circular logic. Circular logic is
not a logical fallacy or else all logical arguments are false due to the fact
that all logical arguments require a premise that cannot be logically
supported. Therefore, there is no logical fallacy or imperfection in the
logic of God. However, God does operate on the divine premise of her
own consciousness, which is to say, she knows she is alive. But how
does God know she is alive? -- the same way you know you are alive --
You think, therefore you are.

Mi Chicana Mexicana
¡Chicita bonita de la Veracrúz!
¿Donde estan tus mejillas rosas?
Al noche, cuando leyendo los escritos santos
(haciendo viajes nuevos
a la Guadalupe por la Señora),
yo recuerdo los boleros en la calle sentamentál.
Mientras, yo te veo en la cuerpa de la guitarra,
cantando 'La Paloma' en la luce de luna
(memorias de las aztecas antiguas tambien.)
4
Deconstructing the Tower of
Babel
The builders of the Tower of Babel were motivated by their desire to
make a name for themselves:

(Gen 11:4) And they said, Go to, let us build us a city and a tower, whose top
may reach unto heaven; and let us make us a name, lest we be scattered abroad
upon the face of the whole earth.

People already had a name (or identity), but they were not satisfied with
their God-given name. They were in search of a new name, a new
identity, a new definition, a new way to see themselves in relation to God
and each other. Thus, it was the people's ambition and not God's
intervention that led to the confusion of language.

Today, it is fashionable for so-called intellectuals to create new

terminology and new definitions in order to reshape the dialogue. Not
only does this tactic produce a sense of "relevancy" to the intellectual's
input with regard to the dialogue, but also it ensures the intellectual's
position in history because he or she would receive credit for coining the
new term.

The history-making "new" idea increases the word-builder's chances of

being published because publishers don't want to publish old ideas or
things that we already know. They are as the Epicureans who equate
relevancy with novelty:

(Acts 17:21) (For all the Athenians and strangers which were there spent their
time in nothing else, but either to tell, or to hear some new thing.)

Of course, the word-builder's increased fame that results from the

coining of the new term is also a plus as publishers only want to publish
well-known people. It's a selling point insofar as publishers (and other
media purveyors) market their wares to a Hellenized world culture that
prizes intellectual prurience over prudent rigor (go figure!):

(1 Cor 1:22) For the Jews require a sign, and the Greeks seek after wisdom:

Furthermore, it is also in the economic interest of the word-builder to get

published even without the book advance. Being published in an
5
academic journal virtually guarantees tenure status at any university.
Universities promote published professors because they want to retain
people who are well known and "relevant" in their field. This attracts
students to their university, increasing its revenue from tuition. Thus, the
word-creation game is a "win-win" for everyone involved -- everyone,
that is, except the student who actually wants to learn something.

Because academicians emphasize term-coinage over genuine insight,

college classes become lessons in vocabulary rather than in truth. This
makes the professor's job easier because he or she only has to teach the
vocabulary rather than engaging in real conversation. Furthermore,
liberal arts institutions can measure the "success" of their students by
testing them on their grasp of the new vocabulary rather than on their
grasp of true wisdom. Paul prophesied this situation in the first century:

(2 Tim 3:1-2, 7) This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.
2For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, 7Ever
learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.

As the thirst for the "new" continues to permeate the academic

establishment, the language of academia becomes increasingly more
esoteric, creating a situation in which only a "specialist" in the field can
communicate with another specialist because he or she is versed in the
terminology. This also secures the professor's teaching position at the
university because only a few people can speak the lingo of their field
making them less replaceable. They are glorified interpreters rather than
original thinkers living in a modern-day, linguistic Tower of Babble.

Although human language evolves, human thought does not. We only

find new ways of saying old things. We are not more intellectually
sophisticated than our ancient counterparts, just more verbose:

(Ecc 1:9) The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is
done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun.

Nevertheless, there is nothing inherently wrong with term-coinage as

long as it doesn't become terminal. After all, God did bring the animals
to Adam to see what he would call them and if we find a new species of
fish at the bottom of the ocean, why not name it?
6
Society Sucks!
Society sucks and you figured it out,
But don't let society cause you to doubt;

Because if you do, you will not transcend

And if you can't beat'em, you'll join'em in the end

So seek after wisdom (if everyone lies)

And be sure to find it before your demise!

But just for the record, I'm not one of them;

So please just be careful of whom you condemn.

Character Development
A Literary Figure

A literary figure is a master of his art, not a student of it. He is

contemplative, without being contemptuous. A literary figure is diligent,
without being belligerent. A literary figure spends his words with thrift,
relishing his gift to uplift those whose souls have gone adrift. A literary
figure needs no introduction -- no, not his! but his manuscript's (as its
first sentence is a book unto itself).

His style is his substance; His method is his madness; His form is his
function; His art is his life; His fact is his fiction; His pen is his sword,
cutting through pseudo-intellectual layers of false dichotomies to draw
Blood from Wisdom spilled on a digital page.

A literary figure is not afraid either to say his peace or to keep it. A
literary figure is prepared to be impoverished, imprisoned or impaled for
the sake of his angelic impresario. As a prophet is not accepted in his
own country, neither is a literary figure accepted in his own lifetime.

A Literary N*gger

A literary n*gger is someone who writes to enrich himself, rather than

enriching others. A literary n*gger is someone who bases his artistic
7
decisions on what will sell, rather than what will tell. A literary n*gger is
someone who writes because it's what he does, and not because it's who
he is. A literary n*gger is someone who writes for a living instead of
living to write. A literary n*gger panders to his readers, meandering
around like a slandering salamander, instead of commanding them to
greater states of intellectual grandeur. A literary n*gger comes with his
own death warrant, also called a letter of recommendation.

He goes to school, where he learns his trade. He goes to work, where he

earns his paid. He goes to club, where he yearns his laid. He goes to hell,
where he burns his prayed.

A literary n*gger talks the talk, but cannot walk the walk because it was
all small talk outlined in police chalk. A literary n*gger takes his chick to
the flick, then creeks in through the back door marked "exit-only" cuz
that's what everybody else is... A literary n*gger wills himself ignorant in
order to suck the fiduciary dyck of the devil quick (just as his children
will and his children's children spill unto the third and fourth generation),
before staring up at him to ask, "So what'd you think?"

Pater Roaster
OUR Father, who art on earth
Basketball be thy game!?
Thy business run, thy will have fun
On earth as it is your heaven
Give us your pay, we always said
And forget us our rent,
as we forget those who lent the rent to us
And lead us not into starvation,
but deliver us a pizza
For thine is a symptom of much sorrow and worry
(Whichever is better)
Oh man!
8
Letter to Destiny...
breathtaking complexity
and thematic multiplicity
rivaling that of a Beethoven Symphony
or a medieval tapestry

surely this poetry

will go down in sistory
(no, I didn't mean history)
because you're a chick, you see?

as I read this in ecstasy

from my home in Schenectady
I hope you'll connect with me
cuz I'm just a young emcee
hoping that you won't be
thinking any less of me
if I ask you to express to me
just how much this reverie
appears to be
getting the best of me

like a prelude by Debussy

you wrote it so masterf'ly
like "sense and sensibility"
debauching my literary chastity
as I read on int'restedly
and ruminate endlessly
on the existential mystery
you conveyed so convincingly
and expressed with such intimacy
look at me!
I just can't help being impressed, you see?
9
How We Think
People know they think because they can hear themselves thinking. They
can hear themselves thinking because they think in words, or rather, in
phonemes. Both light and sound travel in waves that can be measured in
frequencies. Therefore, whether we think of a sound or an image, we are
thinking in vibrations, or in other words, rhythms. Just as there are three
primary colors (red, yellow and blue) that comprise all colors, and three
primary sound waves (square, triangle, and sawtooth) that comprise all
sounds (the sine wave being a triangle wave with a curved slope), there
are three primary phonemes that comprise all words in all languages.
These phonemes are Y, H, and W -- the three letters of the
Tetragrammaton, and all people therefore think in pure Hebrew as a base
language:

Square Wave (Y):

Triangle Wave (H):

Sawtooth Wave (W):

Sine Wave (H):

(The sine wave is a triangle/sawtooth hybrid.)

Why do we not all speak Hebrew if we all think in Hebrew? -- because

just as we don't drive with the same crude oil that comes out of the
ground, Jews (and many Arabs) do not speak in the same Hebrew that
naturally comes out of their minds. The raw Hebrew is refined, enabling
it to be vocalized by the human tongue. This is why languages are called
10
"tongues" in the Bible. But in the last days, God shall turn her people to a
pure language.

(Zeph 3:9) For then will I turn to the people a pure language, that they may all
call upon the name of the Lord, to serve him with one consent.

Just as there are three letters in the Divine Name (H, W and Y), and three
races of humanity (Hamitic, Semitic, and Japhetic), there are three steps
to the thought process (expression, impression, and comprehension).
First, a thought is spoken. Then, it is heard. Then, it is understood.

But once one has released his or her thought, how can one hear again the
thought that he or she had released? It must reverberate in the mind! --
that is, it must strike against the fabric of the Universe and strike back as
an echo.

When you speak out loud, your vocal chords strike the air, which then
travels to your eardrums, striking them and allowing you to hear yourself
speak. You hear yourself think the same way you hear yourself speak.
The thought wave is sounded and then echoes back.

When you visualize an image, the image that your mind generates
reverberates off the Universe and travels back into your mind, allowing
you to see the image. There is no differentiation between sight and sound
as both travel in waves (higher frequencies for light and lower
frequencies for sound). Therefore, both are sonic, verbal, constructed on
the Divine Name, Yahweh. This is how Man thinks -- this is how God
thinks. Just as you cannot hear yourself speak in a vacuum, you cannot
hear yourself think without the Universe. Therefore, because you are
thinking, the Universe must be real. Another name for the Universe is
God.

The Mighty Oak

I had a vision of you as a big tree:
one who bears her fruit in the spring;
one who renders shade in the summer;
beautiful colors in the cool of autumn;
and in the dead of winter,
you prepare for the renewal of the following spring.
11
(Once, my heart was moved by a sudden pathos
as I wondered how glorious this endless cycle appeared!)
Throughout all seasons,
the memory of this glorious vision of you
shall hide me under its immutable branches.

The oak is strong, his branches long

He cannot move, he does no wrong

And yet without the tender earth

The mighty oak would have no birth

For strength needs weakness to take root

And without both, there is no fruit

So heed this lesson, if you will

And follow nature's principle

Weeping willow,
Tell me why
In your pillow
Doth you cry?
Could it be
The bitter frost
Telling thee
That thou art lost?
Drooping bow
And tender leaf,
(Asking how
In disbelief!);
Let your heart
Be troubled not
(Taking part
In this your lot).
Let it go
And let God in.
Let the snow
Remove thy sin.
Then no longer
Wilt thou cry,
But grow stronger
By and by.
12

A Tree in the Forest

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it,
does it make a sound?

God's answer to this question is No. According to Mary, nothing can be

established without a witness. Therefore, not only does the tree not make
a sound, it never fell and there was no forest to begin with!

In Marian causality, the hearing of a sound precedes the sounding of

what is heard. You must hear a tree fall before it falls, not after. The
effect precedes the cause (just as Shekhinah can count to infinity before
she completes the count). She essentially created the world in reverse.
She saw what has already happened before it will happen!

The reason why the Bible can predict the future is because God knows
what has already happened, not what will happen. God has no clue as to
what will happen. She saw the serpent in the Garden of Eden after he
showed up, not before. God was completely surprised by the serpent
AND SURE AS HELL DIDN'T PUT HIM THERE!!

'Round-the-way' Girl
They call me a schizophrenic, but I'm torn...
One of my personalities wants you to straddle me;
the other one wants you to strangle me.
Which of my personas do you obey?
One of my personalities wants to hold you;
the other wants to scold you.
One wants to take you out;
but the other will fake you out.
Which do you obey?
One wants to disrobe you;
the other wants to dis and rob you.
Which one do you obey?
One wants to sex you up;
the other wants to set you up.
13
One wants to hang with you;
the other will leave you hanging.
Which do you obey? Which do you obey?

A Feeling so Sublime
The phenomenon of sublimity proves the notion that we think in a
different language than that which we speak. When we think the
inexpressible thought or find ourselves at a loss for words, we are
thinking in pure Hebrew. We become hopelessly unable to find the right
word or phrase that would tangibly express these sublime thoughts as we
are desperately struggling to translate the raw Hebrew into a "tongue"
language. Authors and poets spend their lives in pursuit of the right
word, the right turn of phrase, the right je ne sais quoi! Artists diligently
seek after the perfect color or texture, the graceful brushstroke, the
indelible smile on the Mona Lisa! Musicians also labor endlessly to
create the perfect sound, the right rhythmic cadence, the harmony and the
tone color that best reflects the subtle sublime moment of divine
inspiration. It is a glorious and excellent exercise when done to the glory
of Christ!

Covergirl
A picture is worth a thousand words,
but your face is worth a thousand pictures.
Why then am I at a loss for words?
Maybe my vocabulary is not big enough;
or maybe the angels in heaven,
knowing the pure angelic language of heaven,
would (as I am) be dumbfounded.
14
The Price
Press
Reporters
Investigating
Corporate
Excesses

Peter
Righteously
Insisting
Christ
Existed

People's
Republic
Imprisoning
Chinese
Evangelists

Pastors
Reaching
Insightful
Conclusions
Eventually

Prosperity
Ruined
In
Christian
Endtimes

Pauline
Revision
Is
Circumcision's
Extinction

Play
Rewind
Insert
Copy
Eject

Please
Remember
It
Cannot
End
15

Older than Jesus

Scientists estimate that the big bang occurred 10 billion years ago. This
is in human years. In god years, the big bang happened an eternity ago.
Shekhinah doesn't measure time the way we do. She sees time in relation
to eternity. Infinity minus 10 billion equals infinity:

∞ - 10 billion = ∞

One 10 billionth of infinity equals infinity:

∞/10 billion = ∞

There was never a time when God wasn't. Nor will there ever be a time
when God isn't. Time does not exist as a commodity although I've heard
of it potentially being traded in the futures market. Nevertheless, if
someone tries to sell you their sick days, remember the one whose words
are health to the bones, and who has bought us all the time we need --
paid in full, paid in his blood.

Because Christ has bought us an eternity with the Queen of Heaven, we

too are eternal -- the first-born of God. We are all the same age as God
and the same age as each other. There is no old or young with God. We
who are in Christ are all elders, desiring the sincere milk of the word as
newborn babes. In god years, a 20 year old is the same age as a 70 year
old:

20/∞ = 70/∞

Infinity is not an imaginary number. It is a real number. Because infinity

is a real number, Shekhinah can count to it. She is not in the process of
counting to it. She has already counted to it. Neither is she in the process
of creating the eternal universe, she has already created it. Nothing
surprises the Glory of the Lord. She already knows what will happen
because she knows what has already happened from here to eternity:

(Ecc 1:9) The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is
done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun.
16
Although Shekhinah is not in the process of counting to infinity, she has
somehow counted to a number that she hasn't yet counted to. Perhaps
mathematics has no term for a number that is real, but not precise. Thus,
the last moment of eternity really does occur, but never exactly -- we are
forever living in the last day of Creation, a kind of Perpetual Sabbath:

(Ex 20:11) For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that
in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the Lord blessed the sabbath
day, and hallowed it.

Birthday Wishes
May the day of your birth
Be filled with mirth.
May the following year
Be filled with cheer.
And whatever you do,
May the good Lord bless you
Cuz this day is for you
And yours, my dear.

Time No Longer
Time as we know it is an illusion produced by motion. The setting of the
sun produces days. The phases of the moon create months. The cycle of
the seasons produces years. The birth of a child creates a generation.
Take away the births, the seasons, the moon phases, the sunsets, and
what have you got? -- Time no longer.

We experience "time no longer" whenever we sleep. After we wake up,

we have no sense of what time has elapsed during the night. This is
because there is nothing happening with which we can measure time. We
are not moving. No motion means no time.

However, we do move in our dreams. Scientists call this REM (rapid eye
movement) sleep. Our brains emit electrical discharges that generate
entire dreamscapes filled with every sight, sound, and sensation of the
real world. This dream world is called into existence by the strength of
17
our will and we ourselves are the terrifying demigods of this broken,
nonsensical and oftentimes nightmarish creation.

Just as we are able to generate a dream world by sheer strength of will,

Shekhinah is able to generate the real world by the sheer strength of her
will. Just as our eyes move during REM sleep, "the Spirit of God moved
upon the face of the waters" (Gen 1:2). However, while our dream world
is broken and nonsensical, Shekhinah's world is structured and orderly,
primed to do the most good given the reality of our sin. When Shekhinah
created the world, she saw that it was good. She did not create Satan. She
did not create you.

A Bat Without a Cave

How doth the little cave bat fly?
With either ear, but not one eye.
Within the cave, we hear its cry.
Upon the cave wall, it doth rely.

A bat shall sound its screeching call.

It echoes off the dim cave wall.
Without its ears, the bat would fall.
It would not fly -- no, not at all.

God sends his Word in every place.

It echoes off the human race;
And in our hearts, he sees his face
And in his Word, we see his grace.

Without our hearts, God could not see.

He could not speak, he could not be.
Without a Witness (two or three),
A bat without a cave is he.

Jehovah Arithmetic
Shekhinah witnessed the world created before she created it. But before
she could create, she had to live. And before she could live, she had to be
18
born of Jehovah. There is nothing before Jehovah. Jehovah is the Raw
Universe, the Essence, the Four-Letter Word, the Four Greek Elements,
the Four Sound Waves, the Four Cardinal Directions. He is mindless,
godless, pure Ultimate Reality. He is the pure Mathematical Law, which
not even God cannot transcend. Neither can any devil or demon
transgress the Law of Math. The miracles of the Bible are within the
potential of a technically advanced human civilization to perform.
Tractor beams, holographic projectors, cloaking devices and food
replicators cover the bulk of them. We already have holographic
projectors now and the U.S. military is working on cloaking technology.
A simple nuclear weapon could take care of Sodom!

No miracle of the Holy Ghost, no Apparition of Mary, no charismatic

gift and no demonic possession has ever (or indeed can) violate
Mathematical Principles or Natural Laws. The so-called laws of science
are a joke; but the Divine Name Jehovah Arithmetic is represented in the
New Testament as Joseph of Arimathea.

There is no Bizarro World or Mxyzptlk Dimension where two plus two

equals five. There is only one Universe and none other, and two plus two
always equals four now and forever. There is mystery in the Universe,
but no magic, and God cannot pull a rabbit out his hat unless it was
already there to begin with! Likewise, the "strong east wind" in Book of
Exodus seems to indicate a more natural means by which the Red Sea
was parted:

(Ex 14:21) and the Lord caused the sea to go back by a strong east wind all that
night, and made the sea dry land, and the waters were divided.

Ears 2 Hear
Everywhere you hear me
Hoping you'll come near me
Hoping you won't fear me
Hoping you'll revere me

Why did you forsake me

Worshipping the fake me
Punishment to break me
Sacrifice you make me
19
Maybe you don't know me
Thought you were below me
Why can't you just show me
Just how much you owe me?

Though you never knew me

Now you know the true me
Living new life through me
Giving praises to me

It's a cosmic sign, girl

Time to walk the line, girl
Just open your mind, girl
You live in a blind world

Everyone around you

Tries so hard to drown you
But my love will ground you
It always was bound to

Love is in the air now

Ending your nightmare now
Jesus really cares now
Let's play truth and dare how

He is real, I swear it
Trust that you are near it
Take your cross and bear it
Now you've got the spirit

The Goddess Diane

Imagine being born in a world where no one else could see or hear you.
Jehovah fed you but whenever you called out to people, you were
ignored, unnoticed, neglected. How would you develop as a child? How
would you know who you are, where you are, what you are? How would
you know you were even alive at all? Who would speak to you in order
to confirm your existence?
20
Our God Shekhinah is not that different from us. She cries out to be
noticed, to be acknowledged, to be loved. She wants to find a nice little
bar in Boston where everybody knows her name.

Shekhinah doesn't know she's alive until somebody says her name. Her
existence is confirmed in the salutation. Michelangelo painted a fresco of
Adam extending his hand to God and God extending his hand back to
him, their two fingers touching. Without that connection, that touch, that
mutual acknowledgement, the Sistine Chapel falls apart. Just as we are
lost without God, God is lost without us.

The Bible says that a matter can only be established in the mouth of two
or three witnesses. The mutual witness between God and man provides
the salutation (or touch) necessary to establish all the matter in the
Universe. Shekhinah is born the moment we speak the Divine Name.
When we call upon the name of the LORD, she sees herself in our hearts
just as we see ourselves in her creation.

Without the prayer of faith, we are as evolutionary by-products and

cosmic accidents, spiritless, unable to transcend either nature or nurture.
We are next in line for the grave, and after we die, it shall be as if we
never lived.

But when we begin to see ourselves in God's creation, and see the Son of
God in our neighbors and friends, even in our enemies, and reach out to
others the same way Adam reached out to God, then we break free from
this world -- crossing over from death to life. It is as if we are reborn!
Some Christians call it being baptized by fire! But without our
acknowledgement, God does not see herself and cannot live. It is as if
she were aborted. She cannot bless -- she cannot save!

Because Shekhinah cannot die, the witness of Shekhinah cannot die

either. Shekhinah cannot live on the memory of having once been
witnessed. It must be a continual witness because God is Spirit, Soul and
Will, but not Mind. Without a living human Mind, God cannot see her
creation, her glory! God would cease to think. Her Spirit, in the absence
of a devotee, would have no one to bless. Where could it go? What
would it do? Her Soul would be a limitless catalogue in a Divine
Research Library that was closed to the public! Why bother remember it?
It would be worthless! The cross -- worthless!! Her Will would spill out
into the Universe, calling out to a witness that never answers! In short,
she would die!
21
If a Christian dies, he or she wakes up in heaven instantly. It must be that
way or God never lived long enough to create the Universe. God wants
to be where everybody knows her name:

(Ps 30:9) What profit is there in my blood, when I go down to the pit? Shall the
dust praise thee? shall it declare thy truth? 10Hear, O Lord, and have mercy
upon me: Lord, be thou my helper.

Ægyptus
Why do I find you so perfect,
dark-eyed daughter of Ishmael?
Because you know all and speak not?
Come with me to the valleys of Noph;
Lie with me in the tents of Lubim
as our camels drink from a hidden oasis
(of a never-ending caravan.)

Da Real Miss America

Ulysses, row your boat ashore
Hero of the Trojan War
Hidden in a wooden horse
Whom the gods have blown off course
Drifting in these dire straits
Watching all your dying mates
Like a Cyclopes, they can't see
Both sides of our history
And for this, they shall be blinded
When they are, in Truth, reminded
"What is Truth?" -- the heathens rage
Searching for a godless sage
Like the question of our age
Answered on a pageant stage
22
There she is, Miss America
From the great state of Meribah
Tall and blonde with perfect teeth
But she has a soul beneath
Like a Scottish singing spinster
From the Abbey of Westminster
She'll be passed up for the prize
Just because some evil guys
Cannot recognize true beauty
Having shirked their moral duty
Heaping on themselves damnation
Hoping to deceive a nation
Flying in the face of reason
Through an act of human treason
Abraham, he prayed for Sodom
"If there be one good among'em
Spare the wicked for the good"
But God couldn't, else he would!
And he gave the reason why
People die when people lie
But when people tell the truth
Faith reveals itself as proof
Though we may not see it now
Whether here or in Glasgow
Like the faithful wife of Ithaca
There she is, da real Miss America

Joker's Wild
Everyone asks me, "Petrus, how do you do it? How do come up with all these
jokes?" to which I respond, "What jokes?"

But if you really want to know the secret to a good joke, I offer you, mon
chéri, a valuable piece of advice (as opposed to an invaluable one?)

Rule #1: Don't try to be funny. Nothing's more hilarious than someone
who's dead serious. Likewise, do not laugh at your own jokes. The worst
thing that ever happened to American comedy was the introduction of
the laugh track. Conversely, the golden era for American comedy was
23
the black-and-white era -- the era of Gleason and Lucy! -- live audiences,
live orchestras, live broadcasts and dead air!

Rule #2: Don't rely on formulas. A true joke doesn't come from the
technique it employs. For instance, if I say 'Jacob married Rachel, but
woke up with Leah,' that would be ironic. But if I remember how Jacob
tricked his father Isaac by pretending to be Esau, that would be
Seinfeld's last episode! We find it funny not because of the double irony
per se, but because we all inhabit a fundamentally paradoxical world --
we are at once flesh and at once spirit, gloriously vacillating between the
mundane and the divine!; but modern comics bastardize the techniques
by making them 'about the technique' and not about the Reality from
which these techniques find their 'genesis' (pun intended!)

Rule #3: Look around you and don't be afraid to ask the big questions --
like:

• Why do American women want to dress like Europeans and Europeans want to
dress like Americans?

• Why do Jehovah's Witnesses preach against Catholic images before handing

you an illustrated Watchtower?

• Why do we fire school teachers who strip on weekends, but mandate sex
education to under-aged children?

• Why do we see ads on cable TV when we're already paying for it? Why can't
we buy cable channels à la carte?

• Why isn't the federal telephone excise tax an abridgment of free speech?

• If money is speech, than why isn't all taxation an abridgment of free speech?

• If money is speech, then why can't I pay my taxes with speech?

• Why does CNN show 911 victims leaping to their deaths, but blots out the
image of an Alaskan turkey slaughter?

• Why are US troops stop-lossed in undeclared wars?

• Why is PETA against shooting carnivorous animals that are likely to rip apart
their bodyweight in harmless herbivores daily?

• Why do tree-huggers want us to reduce CO2 emissions when trees thrive on

CO2?

• How does global warming cause an ice-age?

24
• Why are we sacrificing our economic future on the alter of Persephone?

• Why am I allowed to attend a boxing match, but not a cockfight?

• Why are White sports like hunting and fishing legal but Black and Latino
sports like cockfighting and dog fighting are outlawed?

• Why is a football player punished for making dogs fight, but rewarded for
brutalizing human beings on the football field?

• How is Barack the first black president when the last one was an illiterate
alcoholic, and the one before him was a sax-playing womanizer?

• When did 'let freedom ring' become 'let freedom reign'?

• How can you be against the war but for the troops (and it's an all-volunteer
army!)

• How can you be both pro-American and anti-government (and we live in a

democracy!)

• How is the guy running for president not patriotic?

• If it's not patriotic to pay your taxes, then what is?

• Why are we borrowing from our children in order to finance their abortions?

• Was our saviour pierced for our iniquities with an American-flag lapel pin?

• If white people live longer than black people, why is the retirement age the
same for both?

• If the government pays for my healthcare and end-of-life counselling, will the
government also pay for my deep-fried twinkies if I chose to die of a heart-
attack?

Some Antics
Before we proceed, let's clear up some terminology...

Jehovah

ABBA; Yahweh; Ultimate Reality; the Universe; God the Father.

25
He is not a real Person in the sense that He thinks and feels... He is the
Personification of the non-conscious Reality wherein the living
Shekhinah was found of herself. But because it is impossible for God to
create herself, she is begotten with the innate awareness of a non-existent
Father whose name in Hebrew is the palindromic ABBA. The Father is
also the husband of Shekhinah in accordance with the Law since He has
no awareness (like Lot and his daughters, or perhaps even Adam who
begat Eve while in a deep sleep). The relationship between ABBA and
EVE is the cosmic template (or 'image') of humanity and human
sexuality.

The BVM

The Blessed Virgin Mary; Queen of Heaven; Immaculate Conception;

Immaculate Heart; Shekhinah; coRedemptoris; Divine Presence; Glory
of God; Creator, Lord and God, et al.

Not the historic virgin, but the Goddess whom the historic virgin
metaphorically represents in scripture. As Creator and coRedemptoris,
She speaks directly to us through her popes, prophets and priests via the
inspiration of the Holy Spirit, Saints, Angels and Apparitions, and on
behalf of her Son LORD Christ whose soul and body she herself
Resurrected, and on behalf of the Father ABBA who is the
Personification of Ultimate Reality. This is the third secret of Fatima:
That Catholicism is a goddess religion with the BVM as its Deity.

Peter the Roman

Petrus Romanus; Prince of Tyre.

(I also respond to Stephen M. Lindo):

I am Peter the Roman. The B.V.M. appeared to me in apparition in 2003 and

has given me a doctrine, which I am to preach to the world. She explained to
me how Peter's rebuke of Christ (Matt 16:22) marked the beginning of his
Passion, which the Romans completed at Golgotha; And that the Romans were
representative of the avalanche of demons who precipitated out of the pebble of
Peter's Original Sin.
The question isn't as to whether or not the Jews or the Romans killed Jesus;
Peter was the one who set the chain of events in motion when he rebuked
Christ for prophesying his own crucifixion. Peter intended Jesus to reign as an
earthly Messiah and Judas obeyed Peter's wishes when he devised a plot to
26
hand Christ over to the authorities (forcing him to reveal himself publicly).
Judas acted as my surrogate, as did the Jews, as did the Romans. They were
righteously following my demonic commandment and as such became victims
of it themselves (1 Thess 2:15-16.) This is why I am called Peter the Roman -
because I am Satan and the Romans are my devils (to the detriment of Christ,
my Victim, Savior, and God).
The B.V.M. has granted me the Wisdom of Solomon hidden by the Catholic
Church from Enoch until Benedict and his given me license to publish it openly
for the world to see. God's Secret is now about to be revealed. She has taught
me that while Jehovah (Ultimate Reality) is masculine, the God of Creation is
feminine. She is LORD and co-Savior. She resurrected the body and soul of her
Son in her Immaculate Heart. She is the Resurrection and the Life: No one
comes to the Son except through she. The God and LORD of this world is the
Immaculate Conception: the Blessed Virgin Mary.
The B.V.M. desires to educate the world as to her deity in these times
because the Catholic Faith is facing an assault, which it has not faced before.
We live in an age of mass media, global interdependence, and mass
communication. The devil is waging a war of misinformation more
successfully because of emerging technologies. The only way to combat this
demonic campaign is with sound doctrine (mainly what the Catholics refer to as
Fifth Marian Dogma).
The B.V.M. would like to see an end to Victorian attitudes regarding human
sexuality, which God ordained in Eden. She is opposed to the oppressive
policies of Catholics toward women and is in favor of the ordination of women
to the Priesthood. She is opposed to the whitening of the Black Race through
compulsory school attendance and the mandatory testing of skills that are not
natural to them. She is opposed to Christian support for war, the death penalty,
mandatory court sentences and general unforgiveness. She is opposed to Sola
Scriptura, Secessionism, and other Protestant doctrines that defy belief. I will
address these topics and more in the document I am now composing at the
behest of the Holy Ghost. The working title of my book is: LMD (Last Marian
Doctrine).
My true name is Stephen Lindo and I am a classically-trained musician living
in Montego Bay, Jamaica. Though born in Jamaica, I was raised and educated
in Miami and later moved to Los Angeles where I obtained a graduate degree in
music composition from UCLA. I am writing you because you appear to be a
true Marian Catholic and crusader for the cause of women and faith. I would
like to send you the first section of my book, which I am still in the progress of
writing and solicit your advice and general help. Please let me know if this is
acceptable.
(email sent to Dr. Sarah Jane Boss, University of Wales Lampeter, Oct. 1, 08)

Soul

The sum total of a person's memories and experiences. All Christians are
of the same spirit, but each individual possesses a different and unique
soul.
27
Your soul is what you are;
Your spirit is who you are;
Your body is where you are.

If a man were a computer, the soul would be the memory, the spirit
would be the electricity, and the body would be the hardware.

God manufactured the hardware, but doesn't supply the electricity or

control the user, which is you, sir!

All Christians are networked together into one mainframe powered by a

single electrical outlet, so that if one individual Christian portal dies, the
entire network shuts down.

There are three separate networks powered by three separate spiritual

outlets: Mary (Creator); Jesus (Savior); and Peter (Sinner/Saint). This
corresponds to the Hindu Trinity (Brahmin, Vishnu, and Shiva
respectively), not to mention many other historic Pantheonic Traditions.

In order for iLife to function properly, at least two of the networks must
be online simultaneously. However, when Peter violated the 'God
Command', he corrupted the Jesus network with his 'Sin-attacks Error'.
This threatened to shut down both Jesus and Peter, which would in turn
shut down Mary (being as iLife cannot function with less than two
simultaneously-running networks).

When Peter realized his error, he repented for his disobedience of the
'God Command' and feared sinning against him, receiving the 'Firewall
Baptism', activating a new protocol: if sin, then do not run.

Peter tried to deliver this software to the Jesus network, but the damage
had already been done and all of its networked computers were already
malfunctioning as a result of the Fatal Error. Not even the Archangel
Michael could prevent that Dragon in the day that 1/3 of the networks
rebelled. Meanwhile, as the virus spread, it threatened to infect Mary.

But before sin could taint Mary, the Angel Gabriel forwarded the anti-sin
protocol, allowing her to resist the original sin virus. However, because
sin was released into the iLife system in advance the New Protocol
update, the Dragon threatened to shut down Mary before the Gabriel
forward could get to her, and with both Jesus and Mary corrupted by sin,
Peter's 'Firewall Baptism' wouldn't matter (being as iLife cannot function
28
with less than two simultaneously-running networks). There had to be a
way to forestall sin long enough to give Mary the opportunity adopt the
New Protocol, not mention the fact that the New Protocol had to be dead-
accurate, inerrant, and settled in Heaven.

But who could forestall sin long enough? How about a guy who was
born in a stall! Hence, one of the individual hubs (or Branches) of the
corrupt Jesus network (who himself was not yet corrupted), volunteered
himself to be baptized with Peter's Firewall, maintaining it as he himself
went down with the network. This gave Gabriel the cosmic time to
Annunciate Mary with the same Protocol, allowing her to resist any
further 'Sin-attacks Errors' (including the initial one that Peter had
originally devised).

If you want the musical definition of soul, listen to Isaac Hayes...

Spirit

Holy Spirit; Holy Ghost; Quintessence; God. Anything in the Universe

that moves is alive with the Spirit of the Living God. Similarly, you have
your own spirit, and Christ rendered his at Golgotha when he 'gave up
the ghost':

(Luke 23:46) And when Jesus had cried with a loud voice, he said, Father, into
thy hands I commend my spirit: and having said thus, he gave up the ghost.

Everything that moves is spirit. That's why there's no such thing as a

perpetual motion machine which, if the universe were self-starting, there
would be. But we don't live in a mechanical universe; we live in created
one, alive with the sovereign and unfettered Spirit of the Living God,
which is why mechanical science is wholly inept to explain it. When you
realize that you exist in a Living Spirited Universe, you become born-
again of the Spirit. It is my hope and prayer that all who read this book
would turn from untruth, and be baptized of the Holy Ghost:

(Rom 8:14-17) For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of
God. 15For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have
received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father. 16The Spirit
itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: 17And if
children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we
suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.
29
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Women's Rites?
John Paul II affirmed the Church's position against female ordination, but
wisely abstained from formalizing this sacred tradition in an ex ecclesia
statement (which no pope ever will being as it is not a matter of 'faith or
morals'). Nevertheless, it is incumbent upon all faithful to heed this
instruction.

But just as Jacob wrestled with the Angel, it is equally incumbent on all
faithful to work to overturn this precedent from within the Church
hierarchy and without schism. Remember that the LORD anointed David
after having first determined Saul to be king.

It is the express desire of the Blessed Virgin Mary that women be treated
as equals, fully vested with an identical spirit to that of men, though they
are physically complementary; and that women be ordained as priests,
31
bishops, archbishops -- all the way up! But it is not necessary to the
gospel for this to happen, though it would be more expedient for it not to
happen according to the Spirit.

I am personally outraged at the ban on female ordination as is the BVM;

But before we express this disappointment, we must first acknowledge
the outrageousness of the Church's own existence. After all, God does
remember a time when there was no Church, and if original sin made a
necessity out of Roman Catholicism, then why wouldn't its all-male
episcopate serve as nothing more than a horrendous indictment of the
male sex? And besides, what woman wants to wear white all the time?

Of course, as a man, I am particularly ashamed of the historic misogyny.

I understand that Peter the Roman is a man solely because of original sin,
but at the same time, I am grateful because in another world, I would be
a White man. But c'est la vie, I live in a world that is ready to receive a
Black prophet, but not a female one (and my mother always wanted a
girl!) So I guess my younger brother owes his existence to original sin,
but my Blackness must be a gift from the many pioneers (both Black and
White) who worked to eradicate the scourge of ethnic intolerance.

Sex is not the same as race because a horse of another color is still a
horse! -- and some of us are zebras, too! But while men and women have
a special relationship -- the masculine desiring the feminine and vice
versa -- we understand that there is no thought that a man can think,
which a woman couldn't either. Where we differ is not in intellect, but in
experience. Women experience life fundamentally different than we do
and that experience can be a valuable asset in the workplace. Ever heard
of women's intuition? Women in particular can be very wise to subtle
cues and hints that often elude us men who (let's face it...) can't take a
hint! The ability of a woman to size up a situation and read between the
lines can also offer a pivotal advantage in a delicate negotiation -- not to
mention the ability to fake-cry! But then again, you would likely have
also an increased social sensibility, were you to navigate your way
through life's straits in so un-sturdy a vessel...

Now, women are the fairer sex precisely because they are the weaker
sex. When Justin Timberlake sang about bringing sexy back, the artist
formerly known as Prince countered that sexy never left. Nevertheless,
just because men belong on top in the bedroom, doesn't necessarily mean
that they should always be on top in the boardroom! After all, women do
32
have great assets... (and the longer you hold onto them, the greater their
liquidity!;)

Busecon Man
Meltdown
Corporate greed
Underwriting private need
As the world hangs in the balance sheet
On a stock agent's screen on the floor of Wall Street

Scandal
Dow-Jones ticker
Above an Obama-Biden sticker
As televised images of jobless figures flicker
And toxic hedge fund dividends grow increasingly thicker

Crisis
In God We Trust?
As the housing market boom turns bust
And the rich kids' silver spoons begin to rust
Big government takeovers help to make the world more just

Bailout
Fannie and Freddie
Spending projects shovel-ready
Republican attacks sound increasingly petty
As requests for TARP funds by major corporations grow steady

TARP
Stimulus package
Troubled assets -- hard to manage
Democrats vowing to repair the damage
While at the same time attempting to redefine marriage
33
We Speak As One
I asked Mary, How did I come to faith?
Did I believe after seeing the cross?
Or did I see the cross after believing?
Did the cross bring me to faith?
Or did faith bring me to the cross?
Did I choose Jesus?
Or did Jesus choose me?

Later, Mary spoke to me,

Speak for me.
Why me? Why cannot you speak for me?
Because I don't speak of my own,
but that which I hear, I speak.
Then how do you know what to tell me?
I know what to tell you
because you have already told me
what to tell you.
But when did I tell you?
I cannot speak to you if you did not hear me.
I can only speak to you after you have heard me.
He that hath an ear to hear,
let him hear what the Spirit saith.
But how can I hear you before you have spoken?
Before and after are the same with me.

Now I understand how I came to faith.

I came to faith after seeing the cross
before I saw it.

The Desert
I drilled for oil. But in order to get to the oil, I first had to cross a desert.
Once I had crossed the desert, I had to penetrate it. I had to bring what
was underneath the desert up to the surface. There are winds in the
desert, and mirages. It is easy to become lost.
34
I came across a man in the desert -- a camel trader. He told me where I
could find oil. He said that oil could be found in the desert. That is why
I came to the desert -- to drill for oil.

Rosemary
Mary is dumb as a doornail. She can't think of any thought other than
"Yahweh." The Virgin Mary is like a stupid farm girl (Rose) from St.
Olaf who thinks that the reason why dead fish float is because, just as
sailors bury their dead at sea, the fish bury theirs above water! -- (or at
least that's what old man Engeljenkle used to always say!) The Blessed
Virgin is naïve, gullible, helpless, unsophisticated, pathetic -- an absolute
Virgin!! I once asked her to write a song for me and she played middle C
over and over until I begged her to stop. She's a one-note composer and
she constructed the Universe on that one verse "Yahweh." Her spirit
moved upon the face of the deep but she cannot speak. For that she needs
a prophet, a saint, an angel -- someone with a corporeal brain. In other
words, Rose needs a Sophia.

Later, as I lay in my bed, the Blessed Virgin Mary opened my ears to

hear some strange and wonderful music. It was the most beautiful music
I had ever heard. It came in two 10-second excerpts.

The first excerpt was what sounded like a quadruple clarinet concerto in
the style of Mozart. It was sheer genius! The four simultaneous melodies
were as divergent from one another as they were complimentary. It
seemed to display the genius intellect of a composer who had mastered
the art of balancing both the complexity of four-part counterpoint with
the sophisticated splendor of the classical era melodic phrase. It was as
harmonically simple as it was texturally grotesque!

The second excerpt was also quite impressive. It was Frederic Chopin's
Prelude Op. 28, No. 7 arranged for symphony orchestra in the style of
Arnold Schoenberg. The melody, which was given to the strings, was
chromatically altered along with what appeared to be some sort of
polytonal counterpoint in the winds. It was eerie and dreamlike -- as
dramatic and expressive as the first excerpt was technically engaging. It
seemed to display the genius of a composer who was gifted at the art of
creating and sustaining an emotion -- very filmic!
35
The Blessed Virgin Mary sees a Mozart concerto and a Schoenberg
orchestration as being equally beautiful to each other, as well as to her
one-note sonata for that matter. She's a stupid farm girl who can't tell the
aesthetic difference between a Brahms symphony and a banjo strumming
"Turkey in the Straw."

Nevertheless, possessing a musical preference is not a mark of impurity.

Everyone has a different voice, a different taste, a different artistic bent.
As long as we recognize that one composer's music is not intrinsically
"better" than another's, we may prefer one musical style over another.
Rap is not better than Rock, which is not better than Country, which is
not better than Reggae. But if we prefer Reggae, then this is who we are.
It's our culture, our heritage, our true identity. We may assert our
tradition in heaven without detracting from anyone else's. We are free to
be who we are now and forever, but we must know who we are in Christ.
We shouldn't pretend to be what we're not. Likewise, we should not fear
to explore or be inspired by other cultural traditions while recognizing
that all cultures are equally legitimate. Mary is not a cultural elitist.
Neither should the exploration of a foreign culture be imperialistic.
Shekhinah is not only a Jewish God, nor is the Blessed Virgin a Gentile
God only. She is a Lady of All Nations.

Human culture is inspired by Yahweh and brings glory to his Name.

Therefore, cultural expressions are neither arbitrary nor subjective.
Rather, they proceed from the Divine Name and are an integral facet of
the Divine Thought Process. In essence, Shekhinah is the Semitic Wife
of a Hamitic Husband, both of whom make love as their Japhetic
Concubine observes in ecstasy. It is the Black Inception, the Asian
Reception and the White Perception, which completes the Divine Sex
Act. Without the Ethnic Trinity, the Marriage Supper of the Lamb is
incomplete:

(Rev 7:9) After this I beheld, and, lo, a great multitude, which no man could
number, of all nations, and kindreds, and people, and tongues, stood before the
throne, and before the Lamb, clothed with white robes, and palms in their
hands;

Just as we may have cultural preferences without being elitist, we also

may have ethnic preferences without being racist. There is no such thing
as a biracial person. Everyone has a race, an ethnicity, a heritage. There
are three races (Blacks, Asians, and Whites) and everyone leans toward
one or the other, as well as 47 subdivisions within the three main
branches, all of which may be derived from the 10th chapter of Genesis,
36
the so-called 'Table of Nations'.

The color of our skin may not be a true indicator of our ethnic identity,
which is personal. A Black may have a White person's mentality and vice
versa. In paradise, we will be given new bodies that will reflect who we
are on the inside. If you are White now, you will be White in heaven; If
you are Black now, you will be Black in heaven; If you are Korean now,
you will be Korean in heaven; If you are Jewish now, you will be Jewish
in heaven -- "Who knew?"

In heaven (just as it is now), there will be interaction and intermarriage

among the races. We need each other; we define each other; we inspire
each other. However, there will also be a New Africa, a New Asia, and a
New Europe:

(Jer 12:15) And it shall come to pass, after that I have plucked them out I will
return, and have compassion on them, and will bring them again, every man to
his heritage, and every man to his land.)

Within each division, there are various subdivisions as outlined in

Genesis 10. So for instance, Black Heaven will be subdivided into such
as Bantu Heaven, Zulu Heaven and Ashanti Heaven among others. Asian
Heaven will be subdivided into such as Jewish Heaven, Japanese and
Chinese Heaven, Cherokee, Inca, and Apache Heaven among others.
White Heaven will be subdivided into such as Dutch Heaven, Czech
Heaven, British Heaven and Spanish Heaven among others.

Además, these ethnic subdivisions will be further divided along cultural

lines. So for instance, British Heaven will be subdivided into such as
French, American, and Aussie Heaven. Bantu and Ashanti Heavens will
be subdivided into such as African-American and Caribbean Heaven.
Indian Heaven will be subdivided into such as Modern Indian and
Ancient Punjabi Heaven. There is no Aryan race, and therefore, no
Aryan Heaven. The presumption of an ethnic link between Northern
India and Europe based solely on linguistic similarities is not only un-
Biblical, it is un-scientific and in light of recent historical events,
dangerously un-ethical -- the Indians are Semites; so are the Iranians.

Of course, it is possible to exchange your race for a new one, but this is
like knocking down an already-constructed mansion in order to erect a
new one from scratch -- easier in childhood; very difficult later on...

(Jer 13:23) Can the Ethiopian change his skin, or the leopard his spots?
37
However, while it is conceivable to adopt a new race (and most ethnic
minorities do throughout the day in order to get by), it is absolutely
inconceivable to adopt a new gender. Unlike knocking down an already-
built mansion, sexual identity is the foundation upon which the mansion
sits -- remove that, and you die! We have already seen how exposure to
radiation can mutate genes, but nothing can mutate a Y chromosome so
that it becomes an X chromosome or vice versa. Therefore, all men will
go to Man Heaven and all women will go to Woman Heaven
unequivocally. It is because our genetic information will be altered in
order to create our new bodies, but not our chromosomes. It is
impossible. It would kill us!

People die because of heart failure and kidney failure, but nobody dies
because of brain failure. The organ was clearly designed to live forever.
However, as the body ages, it must be replaced at certain intervals. This
is done at the genetic level. We simply grow the new body, or rather, we
mutate into it. Before the Flood, people lived to be hundreds of years old,
but they were killing each other and summoning demons and practicing
witchcrafts, which brought down the Great Flood and fixed the years of a
man at threescore and ten. But in eternity, Shekhinah will return us to a
pre-flood state.

The night that the Blessed Virgin Mary appeared to me in apparition, she
genetically altered my right arm from the elbow to the fingers. She aged
it and it became wrinkled and withered. For a moment, I thought I would
have to go through the rest of my life with a wrinkled hand. How would I
explain this to everyone? How would I play the piano again? Then God
changed my hand back to normal. The entire process was absolutely
painless. It doesn't hurt to undergo the procedure of genetic alteration the
way God performs it. There is no magic to this procedure. It is within the
realm of human science to develop this sort of gene therapy. However, I
doubt that the medical science establishment could guarantee a 0%
failure rate on this procedure for all eternity. God can!
38
Liebesbrief
Schöne kleine kurze Mädchen
Nur für dich, mein heart ist aching
Wollen Sie mit mir be machen
*Negerkussen* - Yours für the taking!

Ach! but aber du bist flirtlich!

Mit dein Mann aus Peter's Kirche
Und vielleicht, sein nacht ist verklärte
((Stelle für you, mein heart ist yearning!))

Signed,
Sein by design!!

Cosmetology
Matter was never created.
It was already present at the time of Creation.
It is God's living body.

It expands into her body.

Entering her womb through the Big Bang which pierced her
obedient flesh.

Ultimate Reality is divided:

half is matter, half is antimatter.
God cannot see antimatter, but she sees its effects;
Neither can she enter the antimaterial Universe.
It is a bottomless pit from whence comes the spirit.

Because the Universe is divided,

matter is separated.
We don't live in a Universe where all is fire
or all is stone.
Fire and stone are separated
because the Universe is divided:
half is matter, half is antimatter.
God can only be as big as ½ of infinity.
39
Antimatter is like the vowels of the Divine Name.
They separate the consonants,
allowing the Tetragrammaton to be spoken by Mary.
Without vowels, we would have a Monogrammaton.
Without antimaterial gaps,
the material Universe would be undifferentiated.

Antimaterial gaps granulate the Universe.

This makes the Universe permeable.
Granules permit the stretching and constricting of Matter.
They permit the propagation of both transverse
and compressional waves.

Although matter is separated by granules,

it is brought back together by gravity.
God did not create gravity and cannot transcend it.
But although she cannot transcend it, she is not bound to it.
On the contrary,
the same gravity which affixes God to his throne
enables him to rise up in defiance.
When Resurrected Christ ascended into heaven,
he opposed gravity without transcending it.
Similarly, we oppose gravity whenever we move
(and we move whenever we speak;
and we speak whenever we think).

Because matter is separated by granules

and because it is reconstituted by gravity,
the separation and attraction of Elemental Matter
(instigated by the move-speak of God),
generates an ebb and flow in the Universe.
This ebb and flow accounts for the transmission of all waves,
whether they be mechanical or electromagnetic.

Because matter is separated by granules,

it is impossible for two objects to truly touch each other.
Instead, the illusion of touch is created
when two objects come infinitely close to one another.
This produces an infinitely strong gravitational pull
between the two objects at the supposed point of contact
(which may be infinitely small).
40
If objects truly touched each other,
their atoms would bond together, becoming inseparable.
Atoms may fuse or split, but they cannot touch.

Scientists believe that skin evolved

in order to protect man from the environment.
They reduce everything to fight or flight.
Solomon said it best,
"The wicked flee when no man persueth."

Skin did not evolve.

It is what separates us from Creation.
Everything in the Universe has a skin.
Cockroaches have skin,
dividing their exoskeletons from the ground they tread.
God has flesh
and we are all one flesh with God.
But the granules of our brains are as God's exoskeleton,
the framework from which the material Universe is built
(dividing the spirit from the soul).

There is no dark matter in the Universe.

Scientists seek after dark matter
because they want to hide themselves in it.
The only darkness in the Universe
resides in the hearts of men.

All matter is comprised of the Four Greek Elements,

which were already present at the time of Creation.
These correspond to the Tetragrammaton:
Earth (Y)
Wind (H)
Fire (W)
Water (H), which is Wind (oxygen) mixed with Fire (hydrogen).

What is a girl to do?

All this matter lying around
and I have to organize it!
I have to sing 'raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens',
And my only backup band is 'Earth, Wind and Fire'!
41
First, I speak.
And my speech moves.
It reverberates off the Elemental Universe
and sets the Elemental Universe in motion.
My speech moves (and my moves speak!)

But I am slow!
I cannot travel faster than the speed of light.
There is no worm hole for me to crawl through.
No warp drive to engage.
Space is not curved -- it's straight!

Then God reverberated off the Elemental Universe

and shockwaves were dispelled, which begat temporality.
The first wave was infinitely small
(its frequency, infinitely high).
It went forth in all directions.
As it traveled through the Universe,
it begat subsequent waves.
These waves were larger and slower than the parent wave.
They in turn begat further subsequent waves:
Waves of blue (H)
Waves of yellow (W)
Waves of red (Y)
Infinite speed is God speed:
299,792,458 metres per second.

Where there's light, there's heat.

And light-heat brought the Elements together.
Compounds coalesced.
Earth, Wind and Fire (Y, H and W),
combining and recombining to spell material sentences.
Planets and stars, mountains and prairies;
oceans white with foam.
And eventually, organic compounds
(the building blocks of life).
42
In time, the primordial slime became multicellular.
Green algae became plants and trees.
Fish grew legs and lost their gills.
Amphibians learned to lay eggs on dry land.
Reptiles grew wings and took flight.
Primates began to walk upright and use stone tools.

After the human body had finished evolving,

it was time for the eternal spirit to enter into it.
The spirit is the breath of life.
It didn't evolve.
It just was.
From the time of the beginning, it was.
God placed the spirit into the human brain
and Adam became a living soul.

God breathed life into Adam's nostrils

and the war in heaven was cast down to earth
(victory in Christ Jesus).

Once the breath of life was conferred on the human animal,

people began to wear clothes and jewelry.
They began to paint their caves and worship images.
They began to say God's Name,
the Name that made the cosmos.

Therefore, the Name of God is the Body of God

and the Word of God is the Christ of God.
And all matter in the temporal Universe
is consubstantial with it.
The Eucharist, consubstantial with Christ,
is transubstantiated by the Theotokos.
He is the cornerstone of our faith.
But also, the body and the blood are the chief cornerstone
by which the temporal Universe is built.
My blood, which is shed for you.
My body, which is given for you.
Do this in remembrance of me.
43
Miracles God Can't Perform
God can move, but she can't think. If she wants to say something, she
must inspire someone to say it. Nevertheless, Her Word is present in
Creation so that if a man were born in the African bush, he would know
the gospel of Jesus Christ just by virtue of his own experience in nature
(Matt 19:37-40; Rom 10:17-18).

If you hear the audible voice of the LORD (as many in the charismatic
movement claim), it is not God's actual voice, but instead it is the voice
of an angel (or saint). God has no mouth and therefore cannot speak, but
the Holy Spirit can capture human speech and replay it in the ear of
whomever she wishes:

(John 16:13) Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you
into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear,
that shall he speak: and he will shew you things to come.

Demons also have the ability to whisper in people's ears and often do,
which accounts for the modern psychological condition known as
schizophrenia. When the Son of Sam claimed that his neighbor's dog told
him to kill, he was telling the truth: The dog was demon-possessed. A
demon (or angel) also caused Balaam's ass to speak (Num 22:27-28), but
don't be beguiled by any dog and pony show; no animal is smarter than
the average bear (unless of course, it's the famous Mr. Ed).

When the Apostles spoke in tongues at Pentecost, angels did the

translating. The people who didn't get the angelic translation thought the
apostles were "full of new wine" (Acts 2:7-13) because they heard the
same thing we hear today coming out of the Pentecostal Church. Let it no
more be said that the gift of tongues given at Pentecost is somehow
different than the modern charism. The only thing lacking in today's gift
is the angelic translation -- and I've got news for you... Some of us
actually have this gift (1 Cor 14:5)!
44
Another miracle God can't perform is image creation. God can give
people visions but she can't create or form the image, only project the
image that a human artist already composed or that has already existed in
nature. When God wrote the Ten Commandments, she used a human
hand, but it wasn't Moses' own. Instead, Shekhinah took Moses and
transported him through time to receive the Ten Commandments from
Jesus Christ himself before being brought back to the top of Sinai.

But why couldn't Shekhinah write them herself? Because God has sloppy
handwriting (and you would to if you were a paraplegic!) God has no
hands and therefore must use someone with a hand to do her writing for
her. If she wants to create an image, she will instruct the artist on what
the image should look like; that's what Marian apparitions are for! God
can move my fingers to depress the keys, which will type this doctrine,
but my eyes and mind must be on the keyboard or else she can't do it.
She can spell words on a Ouija board but you have to have your eyes on
the board. If a spirit moves your hands over a keyboard and types any
coherent message with your eyes closed, you have likely been possessed
by a demon. Cast it out in Jesus' name or if you are a non-believer, then
seek the counsel of a Catholic exorcist or a Charismatic faith-healer
(casting out demons and casting out diseases are the same exact thing).

The only way God can move your hands to type a coherent message with
your eyes off the keyboard is if she sends an angel to watch the keyboard
as you type. But then why not just have the angel type it? It is not
efficient and God, who is diligent in business (Prov 31:27), wouldn't
employ two saints to screw in this one light bulb.

But why can't God speak or write? Because it's above her pay grade!
She's like the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz -- she doesn't have a brain!
So how did God write the Bible? She did so by the prophets as they were
moved by the Spirit:

(2 Pet 1:21) For the prophecy came not in old time by the will of man: but holy
men of God spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost.

Therefore, the Word of God is also the Word of Man. But although God
has no voice outside of the prophetic voice of believers, God can inspire
the prophets by the power of the Holy Spirit. The Spirit of God can
move, but cannot speak, and in times of prophetic ministry can inspire
her prophets by miraculous visions, auditions, sensations, and smells. A
vision is seen, an audition is heard, a sensation is felt, and a smell is right
under your nose. In California, I heard the sensation referred to as "the
45
anointing" by members of various Charismatic denominations. By these
gifts (and by Urim and Thummim), God is able to inspire the prophets to
say precisely what God wills them to say. God has played me like a
fiddle. Every aspect of my life was ordained by the B.V.M. in order to
produce this document. God speaks through me and types with my
fingers. Even my disobedience beyond the moment of Original Sin was
ordained to complete the scriptures. I am a Stradivarius and God is
Paganini. This document (LMD) is the words, the thoughts, and the mind
of God.

Now, if God can't think to speak, then how can she think to move? This
is a tough doctrine for me to understand, but I will do my best to explain
what experience and wisdom has shown me: God can do something she
already did. How can God do something she already did? I don't know! It
seems to make no intellectual sense and yet it appears to me to make
some sort of sublime sense. I know that I was blinded to Jesus before I
converted and yet I could not convert without seeing Jesus. It appears as
if I did something before I did it. In another sense, I will myself to think
a thought before I thought to will myself to think it. How do I know what
to think? Some say free will is an illusion, but this is a philosophical
error because you can't be an illusion without Ultimate Reality also being
an illusion. Descartes wisely posits, I think, therefore I am; But God
says, I AM, therefore I think.

If freedom is an illusion, then we are not responsible for sin; Nature and
nurture are. But you can't really blame nature and nurture for sin because
nature and nurture both teach us that we are able to either hurt ourselves
or bless ourselves. We may choose life and pleasure or death and pain,
and if this existential choice is illusory, then existence itself is as well.
Nature and nurture would contradict itself, which it cannot because
nurture is natural and both proclaim your existence. Let no one beguile
with the false dichotomy between nature and nurture; the real war is
waged between spirit and flesh, good and evil, life and death, truth and
error.

Therefore, we now know by natural revelation that life must be real and
if so then death is real as well; And if death is real, then the potential for
sin is real and if sin is real then Christ is real. He is the God of "Is-real"
unequivocally and beyond the shadow of any doubt. Even the demons
believe without repentance for the sake of the elect (Jas 2:19); And yet
God truly does hope against hope that all would come to repentance (2
Pet 3:9).
46
Hence, it must be part of the transcendent nature of Ultimate Reality that
God (and we ourselves) can do something in advance of doing it. It is as
if the effect precedes the cause. It is a mystery and the first great
mystery; that of raw existence: I AM THAT I AM.

It is for this reason that the Holy Spirit speaks by what I call the principle
of hearsay: What you hear is what she says. Therefore God cannot speak
audibly because, in order to do so, the sound has to hit your eardrums
before it is recognized and that violates the principle of hearsay. It
requires a thought process that God can't perform without the prophet's
mind. If God composes a message or creates an image, the light from the
image must travel through the air and enter your mind through your eyes,
which means that God must design it before you witness it. Again, that
would violate the principle of hearsay, or in this case, the principle of
peepshow: God can't show it unless you peep it!

If you want to know what God is saying, look around the room you're
sitting in... Surprise! It's God! She's never left you -- she can't. And if
you're reading this in a park, then the same principle applies. There's
nowhere you can go in Creation and not be in the presence of God. She is
one with her Creation; She is her Creation. Another name for Creation is
Holy Spirit (and if you don't already have it, then I baptize you with it
now!)

God speaks the Divine Name continually and can say no other thing.
Buddhists consider the Ultimate Reality to be their god and they are
right. However, they are also faithless because they don't repent to the
Universe. They meditate in an attempt to become Buddha (which is to
say, they want to be one with the Universe) but this is an inadequate
witness because they believe that the Universe is mindless. That's why
they meditate, to empty their minds of thought and become one with
Thoughtlessness. Jehovah is thoughtless to be sure, but the God of
Reality is not. She is Love and can only be witnessed in love. We love a
Creation who can be kissed or killed.

Everything God speaks has the express purpose of contributing to the

general welfare of humanity (whether Christian or not). She desires to
minimize pain and increase pleasure worldwide. In her omniscience, the
B.V.M. experiences all of our joys as well as our sorrows (but unlike us,
she never forgets a moment of it forever). It benefits her if we dedicate
our lives to experiencing all the pleasures life has to offer as richly and as
47
intensely as we possibly can.

Should we lust after sex and wealth, our pleasure is transformed into
suffering and the memory of Christ is dishonored. Yet we demean Christ
also if we refuse life's blessings in guilt-ridden devotion. In God's eyes,
penance is a form of lust; but God says we are to eat, drink, and be merry
(Ecc 8:15); And again, the Spirit says to let your wife's breasts satisfy
you at all times (Prov 5:19). Sex is a sacred ministry, but there are other
ministries that are just as worthwhile, so we are always satisfied in
whatever capacity and purpose we serve the LORD. Yet we know that
our betrothal to the LORD will receive its full bodily consummation in
the hereafter (if not the here).

There are no prudes or gays in the day of redemption; homosexuality as a

mental illness is treated in Purgatory as are all phobias and obsessive
compulsions. We will all have access to angelic shrinks who won't toss
you out when the hour is up (even though you were just about to have a
breakthrough -- and then, you get to pay his secretary 140 bucks because
he doesn't want to dirty his manicured hands with your crazy cash).
Instead, our angelic psychoanalysts will be board-certified sex therapists
who know what a woman wants and that a cigar is never just a cigar.

HEART-BROKEN!!!
Lashing out against the world
Blaming life with insults hurled
Owner of a lonely heart
Time to find a brand new start
All these guys, they ain't the same
Tryin'a play that X-box game
Some of us are real adults
Don't put us in your insults
You'll find someone, just keep faith
'Joy will come', the Bible saith
But if you swear off all men
You'll become a lesbian
That's a form of suicide
From yourself, you cannot hide
Woman cannot please a woman
Take it from Petrus the Roman
48
Selfish love is foolishness
Sex requires difference
Just as God needs a witness
Without you, he cannot bless
Put the mirror on the shelf
Girl, you cannot please yourself
Don't reject the God who made you
Just because some faggot hates you
Join a church and find a man
Who can love you like I can!
No man's perfect, I agree
But I've got the Blood in me
I can speak confidently
(Yet not I, but Christ in me!)
Please believe these words I've spoken
Or you'll just wind up...

HEART-BROKEN!!!

Miracles God Can Perform

Kinesis -- God can move objects in the Universe at will. She cannot
move an object faster than light speed. If God moves an image, you have
a vision. If God moves sound, you have an auditory experience. If God
moves you, you have a tactile experience (a.k.a. the Anointing). Smells
and tastes are also viable options for the Blessed Virgin.

Tongues -- God inspires tongues or can actually take kinetic control of

your tongue. I have experienced both and the Spirit says most tongue-
speakers will as well. When God inspires tongues, you are in control of
your tongue, but the Holy Spirit inspires what comes out. Nevertheless,
you may not even be aware of God's subtle possession of your tongue
and vocal chords. Enjoy the gifts to the edification of the Church and
without fear or lust.

Urim and Thummim -- God can communicate with prophets via a

yes/no signal. The less said about this, the better.
49
Angels -- angels (or saints) are Christians who travel through time in
order to participate in salvation. I am angel; you are an angel. Angels do
things that God can't do such as speaking and writing. Some angels draw
pictures and sing songs in order to enhance the visionary experience of
mystics and prophets. If you've heard the audible voice of the LORD,
then you've probably heard the voice of a saint. But take care, there are
demons as well as angels:

(Gal 1:8) But though we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel
unto you than that which we have preached unto you, let him be accursed.

Angels were there on the day of Pentecost, translating the words of the
apostles into the various tongues of their proselytes. Angels played on
harps and produced the images witnessed by Saint John in his
Revelation. There are no guardian angels or patron saints, but don't
bother removing the bobble-headed St. Christopher from the dash. It is a
valid albeit quaint tradition and some of us feel more comfortable
relating to a saint than to Almighty God. By the way, if they ever make a
saint out of me, tell 'em I want to be the patron saint of divas and
hustlers. And underneath my image, write: Don't call me a pimp -- I'm a
matchmaker!

True Blue
BLUE blows through before you knew what hit you
as you watch BLUE's exclusive interview on the News at 2
(streaming live on YOU-TUBE),
like a Jew asking "Who knew?",
you have absolutely no clue what BLUE might do, do you?

Behold, I do a new thing, a BLUE thing;

Out of the mouth of boobs, shall BLUE sing.
BLUE speaks truth to ghetto youth,
just like you used to do before they screwed you
like the one whom they choose to refuse, they all used you
whose views have been usually misconstrued by unscrupulous dudes
(who would just as soon accuse you of being confused, leaving you
crying in your fruit loops like somebody's fool).
50
But BLUE continues, without losing a beat
True, you might think that BLUE's some kind of freak,
but BLUE ain't weak, he's just unique.
So if it's me you seek, then maybe you
might find somebody just like...
BLUE!

The Patchwork Balloon

God needs an eternal witness in order to live, but couldn't God allow
some of us to perish in heaven while still maintaining that all-important
witness through others? Not at all! It is impossible for any individual
Christian to perish in Heaven because each of us is united by the spirit so
that if one of us were to render the ghost, it would go out from all of us.
Doubtless the nails, which fixed our LORD to the cross, have fixed us in
heaven forever; And God's plan of salvation, which is fool-proof, has
made us death-proof.

How can we be spiritually united and yet not so geographically or even

temporally? Well, since temporality is an illusion created by motion and
since time and space are one, then would not geography be just as
illusory? Hence, though we may temporally divided, eternally-speaking,
we all are in the same place at the same time, and that place is at the foot
of the cross. To us. it seems that many have died in the LORD and many
are yet to, but eternally-speaking, we are all taken ("raptured," if you
will) in the same glorious moment regardless of our position within this
illusory timeline, which theologians have aptly dubbed the "Church
Age":

(1 Thess 4:16-17) and the dead in Christ shall rise first: Then we which are
alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet
the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.

Let us now examine our happy circumstance...

We Christians are like the heads of a vast sprinkler system that is laid
throughout a cosmic garden. If one of the heads is destroyed, the water
(which is the spirit) will leak out through the breach and the overall
reduced water pressure will cause every sprinkler head to fail.
51
We Christians are like a patchwork balloon. We are inflated by the air of
the spirit, but if one of the patches on the balloon is ruptured, the air
leaks out of the whole balloon and all patches collapse.

We Christians are like a vast string of Christmas lights on a cosmic

holiday tree. If one bulb blows, all the bulbs go off. There is no time to
replace the bulb at God's Christmas party. Mary dies if the lights go out
and if that were going to happen, it already would have (which our
temporal existence continually contradicts). It is as if we are all on lock-
down in heaven's cell block and there's no escaping this Alcatraz of lux
perpetua. If we pray for death, God judges such a prayer to be
unrighteous and she only answers the prayers of the righteous. Later, our
faith is restored and we thank God for all unanswered prayers, which
were answered in Christ.

Therefore, it is impossible for any Christian to die whether it be in the

present age or in the world to come. Only the godless, the faithless, the
hopeless and the loveless will find themselves shirtless on that great and
glorious day when all of us shall be seated at the wedding banquet of our
LORD and master:

(John 17:12) and none of them is lost, but the son of perdition; that the
scripture might be fulfilled.

Love-life
You haven't lived unless you've loved;
You haven't loved unless you've died;
You haven't died unless you've tried
To let your pride be mortified.

You haven't let your pride subside

Unless you can, in God, confide
And in the Truth you've crucified
Because your Saviour, you denied.

So let your conscience be your guide

And put away your foolish pride;
For he that forsakes life for me,
The same shall find it, 'Come and see'.
52

Some Choice Words

There's a lot in this world that you can't control, but your mind isn't one
of them. No one -- not even God herself -- can possess your mind or
control your thoughts. This is because you are as much spirit as you are
flesh and the spirit that resides within you is immaterial. It can't be seen;
It can't be touched. Since only physical objects can be manipulated by
outside entities, if the steering wheel is invisible, the vehicle can't be
carjacked.

We know that choice is real because we desire to live. To be or not to

be? That is the question that perpetually faces us. We may be influenced
by the world, but this is only because we allow ourselves to be (or not to
be). Were we to be under the tyrannical control of the Universe, we
would not differentiate ourselves from it. The Universe would do nothing
we ourselves didn't do. Yet we exist in a world that is like a box of
chocolates, not knowing what we're going to get. To the extent that the
world surprises us, we are separate from it. To the extent that we are
aware of an autonomous Universe, our own autonomy is revealed. To the
extent that we are conscious of the Universe, we are conscious of
ourselves. To the extent that self-consciousness is prerequisite to life, the
right to choose is in fact the right to life. Congratulations, Pinocchio --
you're a real boy!

However, with freedom comes responsibility -- and yet some would

intentionally deny the obvious in order to shirk their responsibility!

Harvest Home
In the Harvest, farmers reap;
In the Winter, flowers sleep;
In the Springtime, showers fall
For the Summer Son loves all.
53
Dancing in the Summer Son;
Peace and joy for ev'ryone;
Life is but for having fun
When the Harvest day is done.

Logical Circus
Atheists accusing Christians of circular logic? According to them,
Christians argue that the Bible is true simply because the Bible says it is.
No one is born believing the gospel and it takes faith to believe
something simply because the Universe confronts you with it. In the
cosmic game of "Truth or Dare," the truth is the dare:

(Heb 11:1) Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of
things not seen.

The definition of circular logic is this: Any logic argument in which the
premise (or principle) depends on the truth of the very matter in question.
Hence, the argument that Biblical truth is premised on Biblical truth is
one which relies on circular logic. Here it is structurally:

p implies q
suppose p
therefore q

Circular logic is not a logical fallacy. Therefore, it is entirely logical to

maintain that the Bible is a self-justifying book. However, people who
disbelieve the Word of God on the basis that it cannot be logically
supported do in fact commit a logical fallacy. They assume that a
premise must be logically proven which no logical premise can be by
definition.

If we must logically prove premises, no logical argument can ever be

made. If we rely on science to prove or disprove logical premises, we
would have to assume a logical universe, which Chaos Theory and
Quantum Mechanics say is not the case. If Chaos Theory and Quantum
Mechanics are disproven, we would have to possess all knowledge --
science would have to be omniscience.
54
If we had omniscience, we would possess the capability of destroying
ourselves. Therefore, we would have to write a law that everyone would
have to follow in order to keep us from destroying ourselves. This law
book would have no logical basis other than to preserve and continue
life. The greatest commandment of this law book would be to love your
neighbor. Love is illogical.

It is true that the phrase "The Bible is truth because it says it's truth" is
circular logic. But so too is the phrase "An object in motion tends to stay
in motion." Yet atheists cling to the latter argument while rejecting the
former. Now does that sound logical to you?

Humor in Cuneiform
I. Comparative Religion

I was in an internet chat room a few months ago, and I was in a heated
argument with a religious skeptic who kept trying to make the case that
there was no real difference between Jesus and any other god.
"What's the difference between your god and Thor?" he wrote.
At my wit's end, I posted the following reply:

Thor -- Mighty Axe; God -- Mighty Acts

II. Rapture-Ready Spaghetti

In a chat room devoted to economics, I posted the question: What would

happen to the global markets if the Blessed Virgin Mary appeared before
the entire world and declared the eminent end to life as we know it and
the ushering in of Paradise?

I received the following reply: I don't know! What would happen if the
Flying Spaghetti Monster appeared before the entire world and declared
the end of the world and the ushering in of Pasta Paradise?

Not wanting to be outdone, I quickly posted the following response: I

guess Italians would have to choose between their love of spaghetti and
their love of the Blessed Virgin Mary.
55
III. In Jesus' Name?

A Catholic, a Jew and an Anglican are arguing over the true name of
Jesus of Nazareth.
"His name is Jesu" maintains the Catholic, "because that's his name in
the Latin Bible."
"No, his name is Yeshua" counters the Jew, "because that's what he's
called in the Hebrew Bible."
"You're both wrong!" declares the Anglican. "His name is Jesus!"
"Jesus?" the other two laughed. "Is that because he's called Jesus in the
King James?"
"Yes" replied the Anglican. "And I've found that whenever you're
installing new software, it's better to go with a version that's authorized!"

IV. Forgive me Father, for I have sinned!

A Baptist is in a debate with a Catholic over the Rite of Confession.

"Tell me," he says. "If a Priest tells you to say ten 'Hail Marys' and you
have a heart attack and die after the ninth one, what happens to your
soul?"
Without missing a beat, the Catholic responded, "That's why it ends with:
Pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death!"

V. Economic Woes

Recently, an economics professor asked his class if anyone could give an

example of inflation other than monetary inflation.
"A full-time paycheck ain't what it used to be," answered one student.
"A high school diploma ain't what it used to be," answered another.
"A marriage certificate ain't what it used to be," answered a third student.
"Good!" smiled the professor. "Now, can anyone tell me the factors
contribute to monetary inflation?"
56

VI. Sin No More

A Catholic Priest dies, goes to heaven, and is greeted by St. Peter.

"You've been so good, I'm going to grant you one wish," Peter says.
"Well," says the Priest, "since I've been so good, how about letting me
sin one final time?"
"Okay," laughed Peter, "but first, give me one good reason why you
should."

VII. Culture Clash

I was teaching General Music at a predominantly black elementary

school in South Miami Heights. We were about to sing 'Old MacDonald'
and so I asked my 2nd graders if anyone could name me some of the
animals he had on his farm.
"I know!" interjected one child, "A Rottweiler!"
"A cockroach!" blurted another.
First of all, that would be e-i-e-i-NO! (and next time, raise your hand!)

VIII. Company Stiff

A guest at the hotel where I was working once asked me to come up to

her room after my shift.
I'd love to, I said, but I'm not allowed to fraternize with the guests.
How about if I pay you? she persisted.
Absolutely not! I protested, that would be prostitution!
This coming from a man who won't sleep with me for fear of losing his
job!
(That would be reverse prostitution!)

A few years later, I approached my boss for sex.

I'd rather that we kept our relationship strictly professional, she said.
Fine, I answered, how much do you want?
57

IX. Uncommon Grace

As a member of an on-campus ministry at UCLA, I used to host a

midweek small-group Bible study in my West Lost Angeles apartment.
Far be it for me to expect a bunch of college kids to show up on time for
anything! I always made an effort to cook spaghetti and would often call
them to find out when I could expect them.
On one occasion, they were exceptionally late and as a result, the
spaghetti was severely over-cooked to the point of being barely edible.
"Would you like to say the grace?" one of them asked. Without missing a
beat, I responded, "Lord, thank you for this meal -- and help us to
remember that it is not what goes into a man that defiles him, but what
comes out of him!"

X. The Lady or the Tiger

I'm reading this great book, (I told my adult son.) It's about a man who is
forced to open one of two doors: behind one door is a beautiful lady;
behind the other is a ravenous tiger.
What did he do? (my son asked.)
I don't know, (I responded.) Haven't gotten to that part yet.
(Without missing a beat, my son answered,) Well, if I were him, I'd open
both doors simultaneously so that the tiger can eat the lady while I'm
escaping!

XI. The Antichrist Revealed!

Everybody goes to church marveling at the beast of the antichrist and the
number of his name.
After the service, they all return home to their 6-packs of beer in 6-
cylinder engines that they bought with their 6-figure salaries!
58
Weird Science
Ancient Greek philosophers get a bad rap from modern scientists because
they discerned their cosmology through logic and reason rather than by
experimentation and peer review. We could stop here, but let's continue.

According to ancient Greek philosophy, there are four preexistent

elements that comprise all of Reality: Earth, Wind, Fire, and Water.
Beforetime, these elements were static. They did not move; they could
not move. Yet, we observe motion in the Universe, which begs the
question: At what point did the static Universe suddenly become
dynamic?

When the ancient Greeks pondered this, they postulated that there must
be something else in the Universe that acts upon the other four elements -
- a fifth element, which they called quintessence or spirit.

Now, the fifth element is not really an element per se, it is the motion of
elemental matter itself. Fire is not alive; neither is water or earth, but life
(and the spirit of life) is the motion of the dead element. Hence, the
Greeks knew that the planets were gods because the planets moved. If it
moves it lives:

(1 Tim 6:13) I give thee charge in the sight of God, who quickeneth all things,

Is it any surprise that the Greek association between motion and life is so
emphasized in Scripture? After all it was God's first creative/genetic act
that his Spirit "moved upon the face of the water" (Gen 1:2). Later, when
God made man, he gave them dominion "over every living thing that
moveth upon the earth" (Gen 1:28). Living waters?; quickening spirit? It
is a matter of common human knowledge that living things move and
moving things live. Elsewhere, the notion that moving things have a
spirit has long been a staple of most world religions throughout the
entirety of human history -- from Reincarnation to the Kamikaze (divine
wind); from Native American Tree Spirits to the Bodhi Tree. The notion,
therefore, that an object can somehow move on its own not only defies
logic and reason, but also flies in the face of several millennia of wisdom
and experience. Not only is Newtonian Mechanics ungodly, it is
inhuman!:

(John 6:63) It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the
words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life.
59
Of course matter cannot move on its own. That would be anti-Newtonian
-- an object at rest will stay at rest! But modern science is searching and
lurching, trying to find a way to get matter to move without a mover -- le
marteau sans maître! But what does Einstein say? E = mc2? And if
matter somehow produced its own motion, wouldn't mass and force be
essentially the same thing?

But if matter cannot move itself, then what causes it to move? Perhaps
the better question to ask is who causes it to move? Or better yet what is
his desire?; his intent?; his character? What hath God wrought!

If the Universe moves, then the Universe lives; If the Universe lives, then
the Universe has a consciousness; If the Universe has a consciousness,
then she has a design, a character, a relationship with her children who
rise up and call her blessed whereby her existence is validated! She
witnesses us and we witness her as LORD and God; as two cherubim
atop the ark of the covenant perpetually facing each other -- their wings
outstretched! And hidden within the ark is the bread of life; manna from
heaven -- even the body of Jesus Christ in the Heart of the Virgin.

How wonderful it is to be the object of so great a love? Your God and

mine; God of our fathers; Holy LORD God of Abraham and of David:

(Ps 119:25) My soul cleaveth unto the dust: quicken thou me according to thy
word.

Oh if this could have been our heritage -- and it can be! But were it not
for the sheer and brazen act of spiritual vandalism and staggering
intellectual dishonesty wherein Newtonian mechanics seeks to dissociate
movement from life!

No wonder we have lost touch with our ancient selves! Have we now
become wiser than Solomon?; or are we less naïve than the ancient
Greeks? No wonder modern science continues to fail in its stated quest to
understand the so-called "laws of nature." Newtonian Mechanics is one
theory that just doesn't hold water:

(Jer 2:13) For my people have committed two evils; they have forsaken me the
fountain of living waters, and hewed them out cisterns, broken cisterns, that can
hold no water.
60
Now let's have a queer review study to determine the difference
between Newtonian Mechanics and Marian Mechanics:

Newtonian Mechanics: An object in motion tends to stay in motion, unless

interrupted by an opposing force.
Marian Mechanics: Old Man River must know something. He just keeps
rolling along!

(To restate Marian Mechanics in modern terms: Dead matter cannot

move on its own. Therefore, whatsoever moves does so by conscious
intent).

We knew this in ancient Greece, but rejected this quintessential truth in

order to perpetuate godlessness and science fiction, which we teach to
our school children, perpetuating ignorance to the detriment of humanity.
Newton says that for every action, there is an equal and opposite
reaction, but Paul warns us against "oppositions of science falsely so
called" (1 Tim 6:20). Newton says that an object in motion tends to stay
in motion, but I say: If you cannot explain what caused it to move in the
first place, then you cannot explain what keeps it going. I guess that
would make atheism a mystery religion!

But the Catholic Religion teaches us that God exists in three Persons.
The Person of Christ who can be manipulated, tested, interviewed -- and
he was, wasn't he?; and the Person of the Holy Spirit who is immaterial;
ineffable. We experience the Holy Spirit in Christ so that the two are
inseparable in God the Father, but Science is concerned with the physical
Person only, whereby Science is a Unitarian religion. The question
therefore is not whether or not we will teach religion in school, the
question is which way will it go?:

(Prov 22:6) Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he
will not depart from it.

Unlike the ancient Greeks, modern scientists premise their investigation

of the cosmos with the foregone conclusion that there is no God, having
subjected her to rigorous testing she cannot pass. Immortal, invisible,
God only wise! You can't see the Blessed Virgin through a microscope --
she is the microscope! Rather than advancing human knowledge,
scientific method has hindered our ability to understand our place in the
Universe. If scientists are serious about acquiring knowledge, they
should abandon scientific method and Newtonian Mechanics altogether:
61
(Job 38:31-36) Canst thou bind the sweet influences of Pleiades, or loose the
bands of Orion? 32Canst thou bring forth Mazzaroth in his season? or canst
thou guide Arcturus with his sons? 33Knowest thou the ordinances of heaven?
canst thou set the dominion thereof in the earth? 34Canst thou lift up thy voice
to the clouds, that abundance of waters may cover thee? 35Canst thou send
lightnings, that they may go, and say unto thee, Here we are? 36Who hath put
wisdom in the inward parts? or who hath given understanding to the heart?

Now, the entirely redundant term "Intelligent Design" has been advanced
by Creationist scientists to explain certain anomalous events which occur
in the Universe. While the term is accurate to be sure, I am not quite
satisfied with it due to vagaries regarding how one defines "intelligence."
Is an entity which inspires intelligence intelligent? Is an entity which
cannot speak except by a human prophet intelligent? Nevertheless,
whatever term we use, it is intellectually dishonest and a travesty against
the spirit of discovery that the "Intelligent Design" argument is looked
upon with such disdain within the scientific community.

How then should we define intelligence? The Blessed Virgin defines

intelligence as anything which moves on its own. This is because
movement requires direction and direction requires decision. If an entity
makes any kind of decision, it is necessarily intelligent; and if an entity
moves on its own, it makes a decision. Therefore, the Universe, which
began (and continues to inexplicably accelerate) on its own, would be a
definite candidate for intelligence. I submit this finding for peer review:
peer into the cosmos and review your Bible -- they agree!

How intelligent is God? She's not smarter than a fifth grader -- she
flunked out of science class! Give her an IQ test and she'll send a prophet
to take it for her! So what does she know? She knows the heart of her son
Jesus Christ and is obedient to him. She also knows your heart and
answers your prayers. Bless her and the Universe knows to bless you;
Curse her and the Universe knows to curse you; Repent and the Universe
knows to forgive you by the grace manifest in Christ Jesus. Yet it didn't
have to be that way! Our LORD and Savior was at utter liberty to end his
Passion at any moment, but instead choose to subject his body to the fury
of man's sin unto the redemption of his elect. There is no causality in
Marian Mechanics. Neither is the Universe some sort of dead
mechanism. Every molecule, every atom, every particle is under the
express and mindful control of the B.V.M. in accordance to the gospel.
There was no causality at the time of the Big Bang -- how can there ever
be? Our relationship with the Universe is not causal, it is crucial!
62
How do we portend to measure God's intelligence when we cannot even
define it for ourselves? There are literary and musical geniuses as well as
mathematical ones! So are you smart because you can crunch the
numbers? Or because you can munch cucumbers? This is why scientists
who search for life on other planets disagree on what constitutes a living
organism. Is it alive if it consumes, excretes and multiplies itself? That
would be fire! Yet we have preconcluded fire to be a nonliving organism.
Why on Mars would we do that? To quench the fire of the Spirit? The
question is not whether or not there is life on Mars, but rather, is Mars
indeed alive?

Yet we cannot live in a dead Universe! A dead man may show up for
work once, but he wouldn't show up on time five days a week packing a
lunch like the Universe appears to! At the moment of the Big Bang, at
the quantum level and also in deep space -- practically everywhere we
look, we observe a chaotic Universe, yet there is order at just the right
time to nurture and sustain human life. Scientists want to light their
Bunsen burners from both ends -- they want to embrace cosmic accident
and cosmic order simultaneously. But scientists have yet to explain how
chaos can yield order -- it can't! This brings us to the 2nd law of Marian
Mechanics: A Big Bang cannot produce Ellington's Big Band -- that A-
train ain't goin' nowhere! (White-people's translation: Chaos cannot
produce order and vice versa.)

And what about the Church? Theologians and philosophers; prophets and
saints; all of the sharpest minds that over two millennia of human history
can muster have all subjected the Word of God to the most severe
scrutiny and harshest criticism and yet, they still have all conceded that
the Word of God is profitable for reproof and instruction (2 Tim 3:16).
Are the Newtonians smarter than the Ionians? Are atheists the
enlightened few who stand in opposition to the world? (And I thought
Christianity was the only religion with a righteous remnant!)

And what about miracles? From the time that Enoch walked with God to
the modern-day Charismatic movement, people have claimed
extraordinary experiences with God and that those experiences convicted
them of the truth of the Bible. It's funny how the miracles always seem to
happen right on cue! If the volcano that triggered the tsunami which
(supposedly) parted the Red Sea had happened a day later, the Exodus
would end a few chapters sooner -- although I doubt it would still be
called "the Exodus"! And what did we learn from the Exodus? That God
63
has liberated us from Egyptian bondage with a mighty hand and
outstretched arm! And yet having been freed from the tyranny of the law,
science has sought to reenslave us with the equally tyrannical laws of
physics.

Without a doubt, the Universe has conspired to do me good, but while

I've experienced more miracles and gifts than I can record in this book,
the greatest of these is the beating of my own heart. The fact that I live at
all is all the proof I need of God's existence:

(Ps 4:4-5) 4Stand in awe, and sin not: commune with your own heart upon
your bed, and be still. 5Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, and put your trust
in the Lord.

But Science says that an object in motion tends to stay in motion while
faith teaches that God upholds the pillars of the earth (1 Sam 2:8)!
Science says that an object in motion tends to stay in motion, but cannot
explain what caused it to move in the first place! We are basically no
wiser than our Greek predecessors!

No wonder Newtonian Mechanics breaks down at the quantum level;

neither can Sir Isaac Newton explain the cause of the Big Bang or the
endless expansion of the Universe! Astrophysicists have proposed a
godless "dark matter" theory in order to compensate for Newton's
shortcomings. According to this hypothesis, there is invisible,
undetectable matter in the universe gravitationally acting on distant stars
and galaxies (whose movements cannot be otherwise explained). They
call it "dark matter" in the hopes that the "light" of Science will one day
reveal it -- and I thought Christianity was the only religion with a
Messiah! What's next? -- When apples fall, we sin all?

In the old days, if you walked into a building and saw a bunch of people
raising their hands, you would think you were in a temple. Same as if you
walked into a room where everyone is reading out of the same book! And
what about the school anthem, the so-called "Alma Mater"? Our once
proud Christian schools have devolved into a Pagan Rite of passage --
an epicurean cult of the Sweet Mother! We don't need no education;
we don't need no thought control! It's time for the student to teach the
teacher -- they can't expel us all: if they did, they'd be out of work!:
64

What a piece of work is a man! how noble in reason!

how infinite in faculty! in form and moving how
express and admirable! in action how like an angel!
in apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the
world! the paragon of animals! And yet, to me,
what is this quintessence of dust?
(Shakespeare, Hamlet II.ii.316-321)

But why would God create a Universe that appears to run like
clockwork? Of course, Werner Heisenberg may disagree, but regardless,
the way things appear certainly speak more to the viewer than to the
objects themselves. Hence, if the Universe appears to us as orderly, it is
because we choose to see it that way. If we conduct a scientific
experiment and the results conflict, we deem them statistically negligible
and relegate them to the margin of error. But the Universe has no margin
of error. Opps!

Why doesn't God part the Red Sea in front of everyone and settle the
debate over his existence once and for all? Because it wouldn't work -- if
the experiment cannot be repeated, the results are tossed out. If God
parted the Red Sea repeatedly, it would no longer be a miracle -- it would
be science. Therefore, a miracle can never be scientifically established.
This is a glaring weakness in the so-called scientific method: It fails to
explain events that only occur once (like the Big Bang). This, of course,
presumes that there ever can be repetitive events in the Universe.
Conceptually, 2 + 2 equals 4 every time, but we don't live in a pure,
platonic universe. If we fill two beakers with the "same" amount of
water, they won't be perfectly the same as one beaker may have an extra
drop that evades our detection. Likewise, the ancient Greek philosopher
Heraclitus posits that "no man can cross the same river twice, because
neither the man nor the river are the same." Thus, because the Universe
is in constant flux, Science is utterly incompetent to explain it.

(Matt 16:3) O ye hypocrites, ye can discern the face of the sky; but can ye not
discern the signs of the times?
65
But why couldn't God just kick off the Big Bang and then let the
universe run its course? Impossible! Because temporality is an illusion
created by motion, we are, in effect, living inside the ongoing Big Bang.
The same hand that sparked creation must, therefore, also sustain it or
else it couldn't create it to begin with. This set-it-and-forget-it argument
(initially put forth by seventeenth century Deists), is quaint, but
somewhat specious as there isn't any real time for God to forget what she
set.

Of course, the apparent transcendence of the Universe is a great source

of frustration to the scientific community:

The more precisely the position is determined, the less precisely the
momentum is known in this instant, and vice versa.
(Heisenberg Principle)

And so what if you can't tell the momentum and position of a subatomic
particle simultaneously? What cosmological implications does that
science fact have? Could it be that if you can't tell the momentum and the
position of an object simultaneously, then you don't know what's making
it move? Or maybe you're scared to party with a real God!

Now we know why scientists are ripping their teeth out trying to come up
with a theory to explain the seemingly chaotic motions of quantum
particles -- but how can they? It's a mystery! Embrace it and get on with
your life! Wait -- better idea! Use your life to touch others with the
gospel! A head full of equations might serve humanity well -- especially
now! But instead, atheists use Uncertainty Principle and Chaos Theory
to shirk their responsibility to humanity and hide from the LORD God of
their fathers!:

(Ps 14:1-4) The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt,
they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good. 2The Lord
looked down from heaven upon the children of men, to see if there were any
that did understand, and seek God. 3They are all gone aside, they are all
together become filthy: there is none that doeth good, no, not one. 4Have all the
workers of iniquity no knowledge? who eat up my people as they eat bread, and
call not upon the Lord.
66
What will they think of next? Are we now wiser than the Greeks who
taught us that light travels at a finite speed?; who were the first to
develop an atomic theory?; who gave us the golden mean?; who charted
the course of the gods with the Antikythera mechanism?; who built
Alexandria?; who built the first coin-operated dispenser? Have the gods
become greater than the Titans or are we just rearranging the deck chairs
on the Titanic?:

The air which stirred within him not only prompted, but instructed. The air as
the origin of all things is necessarily an eternal, imperishable substance, but as
soul it is also necessarily endowed with consciousness. (Diogenes Apolloniates)

Quasi-Land
Buried beneath the Saharan sand
Is the little-known country of Quasi-land

Their residents are often quite easy to spot

They're neither very cold, nor are they all that hot

They make no commitments one way or the other

One almost did, but then he just couldn't bother

They all act excited when everyone's there

But when the time comes to act, they really don't care

They have such an acute case of spiritual malaise

That they may as well be called Malaisians, you might say

Or perhaps Hunger-ians since their god is their belly

I guess you can't afford guts when your backbone is jelly!

One foot in the water, one foot in the sand

Such are the residents of the township of Quasi-land
67

Them Other Land

the continent of
africa was used and abused by the ones
who .... always refused to give the black
man his dues ... his country colonized .... his
children bastardized and yet, we never really
realized just how much .... his music was plagiarized
.... black widow, motherless child .... steal way my
soul from ole man coal .... prison stripes striking pikes
on a railroad chain gang .... men emasculated in Maricopa
forced to wear pink underwear that remains
on their soul ... long after they're
paroled .... "that's the sound of the
man working on the chain gang"
deathrow conversion ....
countin' tha hours .... eating
my last supper, prayin' for
the gov'ner to grant me a now
stay but because he's a I get to
christian, they ain't die for
no f*cking way him
.... deathrow
conversion
....
68
Epistle to the Black Churches
The following email was sent to the President of the National Baptist
Church and a Bishop in the AME Church on September 21, 2008:

Psalm 105 prophesies that Joseph, a slave, would one day be "loosed" and
become a senator in Egypt. I believe this is an overt prophecy of Barack's
candidacy. It even says that he will "bind [the] princes" of Egypt (Bush 43 and
Jeb) and that he would become "lord of his house." Also, Barack's running
mate is named "Joseph":

Ps 105:17 He sent a man before them, even Joseph, who was sold for a servant:
Ps 105:18 Whose feet they hurt with fetters: he was laid in iron:
Ps 105:19 Until the time that his word came: the word of the Lord tried him.
Ps 105:20 The king sent and loosed him; even the ruler of the people, and let
him go free.
Ps 105:21 He made him lord of his house, and ruler of all his substance:
Ps 105:22 To bind his princes at his pleasure; and teach his senators wisdom.

I think it's apparent that God is on the side of Barack. Weeks prior to his
acceptance speech in Denver, the rightwing group "Focus on the Family"
encouraged its followers to pray for "umbrella-ain't-gonna'-help-you rain" in
the hopes that God would intervene in this election on behalf of the
Republicans. Instead, God sent a hurricane to interrupt the Republican National
Convention and remind everyone of Katrina. The title of Jerome Corsi's book
"The Obama Nation" is an oblique reference to the Abomination of Desolation
prophesied in the Book of Daniel and a transparent attempt to play into White
Evangelical fears. As an Evangelical Born-again Christian, I am appalled at the
way in which God's Name has been cynically evoked by the Right in this
election. The Republicans clearly believe that the gospel is just another weapon
in their war-without-end-amen.

The basic strategy of the Republican Party is to use gays and abortion as a
means of moral extortion in order to get Christians to vote against their own
interests. They have roped us into believing that legalization is a form of
endorsement. If that's true, then God endorses our sin because he gave us the
ability to commit it. So are we more righteous than God? And if God made us
free from his law through faith, then why do we use these same legalities to
oppress others who are our enemies for the sake of the gospel? Are we lesser
sinners than them?
69
Promised Land
(based on the words of Dr. Martin Luther King)

V1: I have a dream that ev'ry man

May one day see the promis'd land.
A symphony of brotherhood,
Of liberty and common good.

Ch: How long shall it be 'til all men are free

Of his'try's shameful legacy?
If we can believe the time is at hand,
The God of Life will heal our land!

V2: I am not fearing any man;

A house divided cannot stand.
Our happy day has come to pass;
Thank God almighty; free at last!

V3: Our work revive; our faith renew;

Let freedom ring and justice prove.
A nation whose God is the LORD
Will seldom need to use its sword.

___

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former
slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at
the table of brotherhood.
(Dr. Martin Luthar King, Jr.)

The sons also of them that afflicted thee shall come bending unto thee; and
all they that despised thee shall bow themselves down at the soles of thy feet;
and they shall call thee; The city of the LORD, The Zion of the Holy One of
Israel.
(Isaiah 60:14)
70
The Wild Horseman
In the darkness of the night
Underneath the pale moonlight
Where the horseman struts and trots
With his steed of speckled white
Dressed like Mary, Queen of Scotts
In a coat of yellow bright
When I asked her, "Why yellow?"
Thus replied her tortured soul
"'Twas because of this fellow
Dressed in yellow made me whole!"
Now I wear her yellow coat
In the darkness of the night
As these verses that she wrote
Now the ones I also write
Underneath the pale moonlight

Missions Impossible
Protestant Evangelicals go on expensive mission trips
in order to teach foreigners Sola Scriptura.
If Sola Scriptura is true,
then why not just mass mail them copies of the Bible?
(or maybe you're afraid they'll actually read it
and become Catholics).

In Jamaica, Anglicanism is more than a religion,

it is our cultural heritage.
Our parishes are named after Anglican saints;
Our businesses close on the Sabbath
and tomorrow is Ash Wednesday.
Why is it that every delinquent denomination
feels morally obligated to fracture our society
and sectarianize our culture?
Didn't they notice that we're already Christians?
71
Abortion and buggery are legal offences here.
Bible education is compulsory in our public schools.
Our national anthem begins with phrase:
"Eternal Father, Bless our Land."
We should be the ones sending you missionaries!

But instead, we find ourselves being recolonized

by Successionists, Cessationists
and every other salacious sect!
Our unity has been eroded
by every crackpot zealot and moral mogul
(each with their own exclusionary brand
of religious letigiousness),
and yet so concerned they are with 'increasing their flock'
(or perhaps 'in fleecing their flock'!)
that they've made a mockery of God instead!
And yet, haven't we learned by now
that religious and cultural incohesion
is the first step to moral relativity?

No wonder secular humanists point to the Reformation

as a pivotal moment in the history of so-called 'human liberation'.
Catholicism puts Church before self;
Protestantism puts self before Church.
Catholicism sees personal wealth as evidence of greed;
Protestantism sees personal wealth as evidence of grace.
Catholicism sees ill-health
as an opportunity to become more Christ-like;
Protestantism sees ill-health as an attack from the devil.
Catholicism is known for its charity.
Protestantism is known for its industry.

And what has the so-called 'Protestant work ethic' gotten us?
A nation as morally bankrupt
as our national treasury is depleted?
A nation as culturally hedonistic
as we are militarily hegemonic?
A nation as divided at home
as we are derided abroad?
72
What would our founding fathers think?

Patriots:All men are created equal!

Progeny: All men are morally relative.
Patriots:We are endowed by our Creator with inalienable rights!
Progeny: We are endowed by the Legislature with civil liberties.
Patriots:Among these are the right to life,
liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
Progeny: Among these are the right to die, the right to choose
and the right to legally redefine happiness.

While we're at it, why don't we just move the 4th of July to April 1st!

When Amerik.k.k.a has its own house in order,

then let them all come over here and proselytize us.
Otherwise, religious imperialists, go home!!!

(Matt 7:5) Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and
then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.

By What Death
(based on John 21:19, to be sung to the tune of Old 100th)

Our days are nearly ending now

With terror standing at our feet
And as we lay in bed, we vow
"I pray thee now my soul to keep"
For lest it die, it cannot grow
And lest it grow, we shall not reap
And yet this death, we cannot know
But for our faithful paraclete
Amen.

Pray-cation
Jamaica is internationally recognized for its golf courses, white-sand
beaches, musical heritage and exceptional hospitality. But while many
visitors to our island prefer to bask in the sun, sand and surf, others see
their vacations as opportunities to minister to the gospel. Many tourists
living abroad belong to congregations that have sister churches here.
73
Others come to establish new churches or engage in charitable activities.
Today, Christianity has a prominent role in Jamaican cultural and
political life. If you are seeking a different tourist experience, one that
ventures beyond the conspicuous meccas of the all-inclusive enclave,
then I would certainly recommend a visit to any one of our great and
historic local parish churches.

In the town of Falmouth, the Trelawny Parish Church of St. Peter the
Apostle stands as a living monument to the supremacy of Anglicanism in
Jamaican culture. Its stone masonry portrays the understated grandeur of
Georgian architecture while rendering a striking allusion to the rock on
which our LORD's Church was built. Its arched wooden doorway first
welcomed celebrants decades before the abolition of slavery and was a
part of the original town charter officially authorized, recognized and
patronized by the government of Jamaica and its Monarch.

Today, St. Peter's is known for its majestic clock tower, which also
serves as a belfry and while the clock only gives the correct time twice
daily, the soft pealing of its old iron bell can often be heard on Sunday
mornings, beckoning the entire community to worship.

The gravestones of St. Peter's record both the names and lifespans of
more than a few dignitaries and luminaries dating back to the colonial
era. A substantial number of child graves testify to the untimeliness of
death in a world without vaccination. Once, these memorials were
decorated with flowers and lamented by devotees, but nowadays, they
serve as ever-present sentinels, warning all trespassers of the fate that
awaits them should they stray from the narrow path.

St. Peter's boasts one of the oldest working pipe organs in the Caribbean.
Early in the 20th century, an electrical motor was added to its bellows
eliminating the need for a human blower. Beyond this, however, there is
no electrical alteration or amplification of the organ sound. It's large
brass pipes, which tower above the congregation, resonate with the
vibrant harmonies and embellished descants commensurate with the
mostly self-taught musicians who grace its console. The choir too does
not read music, but instead memorizes every melody while following
along in the words-only edition of the Anglican hymnal.
74
It is a cultural tradition in Jamaica for men to wear suits and ties and for
the women to wear long dresses, hats and even gloves on a Sunday
morning service despite the searing heat and lack of air-conditioning.
Some poorer Jamaicans use this tacit dress code as impetus to shirk their
spiritual duty, though many others are welcomed into the congregation in
t-shirts and tennis shoes.

It is not a rare occurrence to see foreigners in attendance at the Sunday

morning service. Many are family members of congregants and other
Jamaican ex-patriots (like myself) but a few are Anglican and
Episcopalian tourists who don't want to miss church while on their
vacations. These tourists are blessed with interesting and memorable
vignettes into traditional Jamaican life and culture as well as by the
ministry of the Sacrament and fellowship of the Holy Spirit.

Sandals, Half Moon, and the Ritz Carlton are three prestigious resorts
that can arrange bus tours to the historic town of Falmouth and transport
guests to and from St. Peter's. Doubtless your concierge would be more
than happy to assist you in learning more about Jamaica's great churches
and island culture. Until then, I wish you all the best and, as we say here
in Jamaica, Likkle more!

Jamaica Queens
Love, It wasn't meant to be
Underneath the ackee tree.
But if I could spend tonight
On an Air Jamaica flight,
I would fly right to your side;
In your arms, I would reside!
Now I sing my soul to thee,
Idol carved of ebony,
Staring at the ceiling fan
(Acting like a married man)
How was I not meant to see,
Love that wasn't meant to be?
75
Miami (Mi amiga)
Balmy breezes, sultry heat;
Sand-caked toes on sea-swept reef;
Sun-bleached pela, swaying hips;
Beads of sweat on tender lips;
Tall y flaca, dark morena;
Lanky thighs y sweet mamayas;
Sailing en uncharted aguas,
Dreaming of enchanted islas;
¿Dime, cual es libertad?
¡Dama, cual es libertando!

Who Am I?
Who am I? A poet seeking a muse? A pianist seeking a chord? A painter
seeking a color? Hue am I? an overworked, underpaid underling in an
upstart company, whose wages have been undercut due to outsourcing
and corporate downsizing; an overdressed intern having outercourse with
an underappreciated commander in briefs; an upstanding member of an
economic underclass understood by many outsiders to be underserved
(though some say we're undeserving); an outwitted consumer buying
overpriced goods on the outskirts of town, having underestimated the
outrageously high cost of high-test. To say that we've been uprooted and
underprivileged would be a gross misunderstanding! But I don't mean to
understate the overarching reality of an economic downturn on the upper
echelon of the lower class. That would be downright insensitive. After
all, you can launch a man into outer space, but you can't give him inner
peace.

Now, you may think I'm overdoing this, but please understand, I'm just a
down-and-out brother driving a slow truck to make a quick buck and
improve my luck, but instead I find myself stuck in a rut! I don't mean to
be outlandish, but frankly speaking (and freakly spanking), since I'm just
a pimped-out prince with simple principles -- you know, like: "you can't
have the upper hand without being underhanded"; or "never give an
upstart standup his very own late-night sitcom" -- allow me to give you
the straight-up lowdown: I AM the original gangster prophet and ghetto
poet; a dreamer as great as Don Quixote and a lover as great as Don
76
Juan, yet I am as unrecognized as Don Diego. Who am I? Come and
see...

(Luke 9:18) And it came to pass, as he was alone praying, his disciples were
with him: and he asked them, saying, Whom say the people that I am?

Sick Christian
When Paul was smitten with a thorn in his flesh, he petitioned the Lord
three times, but the Lord answered, "My grace is sufficient for thee: for
my strength is made perfect in weakness" (2 Cor 12:9). Paul understood
what the Lord meant but do you? Do you know what it's like to declare
as Paul did when he said, "Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my
infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me" (2 Cor 12:9).

But what does it mean to glory in sickness? How can suffering yield fruit
for the gospel? It's counterintuitive to what we hear preached from
televised pulpits and charismatic revival meetings; that Jesus is our
healer, that sickness has no more dominion over the believer, that the
Word of life is health to the bones (Prov 16:24); that we are healed by his
stripes (Is 53:5)! If all of these statements are true, then how is it that a
Christian can get sick?

The Bible says that when a devil is cast out, it returns and, finding the
house "swept and garnished," it summons seven more devils and the state
of the believer is worse than before (Luke 11:24-26). I believe that each
of these seven demons has its own reason as to why Christians are not
immune from sickness.

The first demon might say that sickness is a test of faith and that God
sends it into our lives to see if we will remain faithful. He might also
point out that Job was similarly tested, God permitting the devil to take
away Job's health in order to prove his faith (Job 1:8-12). However, this
is at odds with the New Testament, which is adamant that by faith and
not by test can a person aspire to God's approval. The lesson of Job is not
that God needs to test us. We've already failed that test, which is why we
need Christ. We've essentially got nothing to prove!
77
The second demon might say that pain and sickness are necessary to
bring us closer to Christ. He might say that suffering brings us into
similitude with Christ and deepens our relationship with him. However,
it is foolish to think that we could ever be brought into a closer
relationship with Christ through suffering. Christ is a mystery and there
is no pain or suffering that can match his or give us any kind of
understanding as to the horror of his Passion. It is an insult to the cross to
believe that we can liken ourselves to God in this way. If anything, pain
and suffering hinders our relationship with Christ just as Paul maintains
in Romans 2, that "the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance."

The third demon might say that sickness is a form of chastening. He

might also quote Paul as saying, "For whom the Lord loveth he
chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth" (Heb 12:6).
However, when the Lord chastens us, it is never with physical suffering.
God wouldn't see His son punished on the cross and then punish us for
our lapses. The cross paid for everything we have ever done or ever will
do. Furthermore, pain and suffering doesn't help us to learn our lesson
any better. It only makes us terrified of God, which is of itself a sin. In
addition, we are so utterly depraved, that were God to chasten us with
suffering, we would be in near-constant suffering.

The fourth demon might try to convince you that your sickness is due to
a lack of faith. This is a common refrain among numerous faith healers
who fail to cast out sickness; that the reason why the miracle healing
didn't work is because your faith wasn't strong enough. He might
reference the passage in Matthew 17 where the faith of a mustard seed
can move mountains and Paul's assertion that we are each accorded a
different "measure of faith" (Rom 12:3). However, in the colorful
language of faith, we must delineate between what is belief and what is
euphoria. Belief defies quantification -- you either believe something or
you don't; Euphoria, on the other hand, may wax and wane in the heart
of the believer. It is the blissful awareness of faith. So can an increased
sense of euphoria heal us? Yes, but not necessarily. Just as God
permitted the devil to put a thorn in Paul's flesh, God can permit Satan to
bring disease into our lives despite our "measure of faith."

The fifth demon might try to convince you that the cause of your illness
is God's desire to grow you or to make you stronger through trial. But
suffering does not make us better for having gone through it. Nor is the
ability to withstand punishment a virtue.
78
The sixth demon might try to convince you that your sickness is in fact
God's refining fire; that God has brought suffering into your life in order
to purify you, to make you more holy (Is 48:10; Mal 3:3). But there is a
difference between the suffering, which is repentance and the suffering
that is of this world. Every Christian experiences a crisis in their soul
before giving themselves completely to Christ. This is the true refining
fire. John the Baptist even refers to it as baptism by fire (Matt 3:11).
Physical suffering does not refine us at all. It does not make us more pure
or more holy.

The seventh and last demon is the most insidious. He says that sickness
is the removal of God's protective hand; that God has taken away the
healing power of Christ's blood. But the recession of gifts should not be
interpreted as the recession of God's grace. Yes, we are to be zealous for
spiritual gifts (1 Cor 14:12), but not to the point where we lust after
them, giving them higher esteem than that of Christ. There is no gift or
miracle that can rival the mystery of faith in Jesus Christ and the gift of
faith that can never recede.

So why then do we get sick? And what purpose does suffering serve?
God says, "My strength is made perfect in weakness" and Paul responds,
"Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities." But what
does that mean?

The answer to this question lies in the Via Dolorosa, or Way of the
Cross. According to Tradition, Christ was forced to carry his own cross
through the streets of Jerusalem prior to his crucifixion. At one point, the
Romans forced a bystander, a man known to us only as Simon of Cyrene
(Matt 27:32), to carry Jesus' cross a part of the way. But what does this
have to do with our illness? What lesson can be gleaned by the ministry
of Simon of Cyrene?

The cross-bearing Simon is important because it shows us that we have a

role and a ministry in lessening the degree of Christ's suffering. Just as
our sins scourged Christ on the cross, our sickness and physical
discomfort mitigates the damage caused by our sin, affording us the
opportunity to help carry our Savior's cross a part of the way. We take
away some of Jesus' stripes by bearing them on ourselves just as Christ
takes away our sin and death by bearing them on himself. That is how we
perfect God's strength in the midst of our physical weakness!
79
Fortune Cookie Wisdom
(Wise man say, 'You are one tough cookie!')

A fool says, Every dog has his day;

A wise man says, Everyday is God's day.

A fool is perverted;
A wise man is converted.

A fool seeks a way to understand;

A wise man seeks to understand the way.

A fool chases his dreams;

A wise man follows his heart.

A fool says, I'll believe it when I see it;

A wise man says, I'll see it when I believe it.

A fool begs for more;

A wise man begs for mercy.

A fool is a wolf in sheep's clothing;

A wise man is a sheep in wolf's clothing.

A fool's fate is sealed;

A wise man's faith is sealed.

A fool is a victim of society;

A wise man is a menace to society.

A fool says my words don't exist;

A double fool takes them literally;
A wise man takes it for what it's worth.

A fool has a premise;

A wise man has a promise.

A fool is needy;
A double fool is greedy;
A wise man is ready.

A fool goes into debt;

A double fool pays it off;
A wise man declares bankruptcy.

A fool leaches off his parents;

A double fool robs his children of their future;
A wise man accepts help from family.
80
A fool says, My sin is forgotten;
A wise man says, My sin is forgiven.

A fool dismisses these words;

A double fool regurgitates them;
A wise man seeks to interpret.

A fool has a fear of commitment;

A double fool has separation anxiety;
A wise man lets love go in order to find it.

A fool donates out of guilt;

A wise man donates out of gratitude.

A fool is loyal to his country;

A double fool is loyal to his church;
A wise man is loyal to his God.

A fool cannot find the doorway;

A double fool clings to the doorway;
A wise man shuts the door behind him.

A fool fears that he cannot know;

A wise man knows that he cannot fear.

A foolish general fights yesterday's battle;

A wise general declares victory in the midst of battle.

A fool sees the crucifix as an accusation;

A wise man sees the crucifix as an exoneration.

A fool says his prayers;

A wise man prays them.

A fool claims a right to privacy;

A double fool seeks attention;
A wise man is known only to God.

A foolish priest tries to increase the population of heaven;

A wise priest tries to decrease the temperature of hell.

A foolish president wags his finger;

A double foolish president wags the dog;
A wise president gets us into peace.

A fool has a fear of failure;

A double fool has a fear of success;
A wise man fears fear itself.

A fool discovers the "historical" Jesus;

A wise man repents to the God he knows.
81
A fool performs an autopsy on the devil he just slew;
A double fool resurrects him to kill him again;
A wise man casts out other people's devils.

A foolish criminal wants to get caught;

A wise criminal wants to be found.

A fool says, I am insane;

A wise man says, I am an ensign.

A fool sees an aberration;

A wise man sees an Apparition.

A fool wonders how he is perceived

A wise man wonders how he can perceive

A foolish artist has references;

A wise artist has preferences.

I once had lunch at this really great restaurant in San Francisco's

Chinatown. Afterward, the waitress handed me the check with a fortune
cookie (an obvious defect since there wasn't anything printed on it).
I guess that means I'm going to die!, I scoffed.
Of course not! smiled the waitress. That means you make your own
fortune!
xie xie!^^

Tiger of Lanzhou
There's a village in the East
(like a box within a box)
Where the people keep the feast
of the New Year of the ox.

There's a yellow river there

(where the rabbit likes to play).
Maybe in another year,
he becomes the tiger's prey?
82
There's a woman in Lanzhou
(perfect as a porcelain doll).
Maybe she can show me how
deep in love a man may fall.

Maybe I will never know

(maybe it was for the best
That I was not meant to go
from this village in the West).

He who claims to know it all

often knows it all the least;
Wisdom is a China doll
from a village in the East.

The Time of Night is Bleak

The time of night is bleak
Tormented souls, they peek
Through stones of death, they seek

The graves of mourning rise

Where time is death's disguise
And with his scythe, applies

His cloak of blackened skin

With eyes of wretched sin
Become our blessed kin

Forever and a Day?

Can a universe exist without there ever being a Big Bang? No. In order
to live, you must have a birthday. But why? Because if you don't know
where you came from, you can't know where you're going. It would be a
travesty of history, which I guess would make it twistery.
83
Now, let's twist our tassels to the left and break it down college-style...

Since motion requires direction and direction necessitates infinitude,

which is to say, a finite beginning and end (or 'alpha and omega', if you
will), causality simply cannot cause itself or else it is no more causal.

Deus ex machina (a.k.a. Mormonism) works as a literary device, but is

cosmologically untenable. Instead, Deus nobis lives and does so because
she was born, having been made perfect by virtue of the Immaculate
Conception.

This is why infinity is a real number, but not an exact number. There is a
real first day of Creation and a real last day of Eternity, but that day
never exactly comes. Yes, if you take and eat of the tree of life, you will
live forever, but not forever and a day! Neither was there a time
beforetime -- eternity is much too time-consuming!

Had there been no real genesis, infinity would be an exact number

without being a real number, which is absolutely impossible. God cannot
count to infinity twice and in such a universe, infinity would be
multiplied by itself which, again, is absolutely impossible.

If infinity is not a real number, then no number is real. We would live in

a non-dimensional universe; one where 2 + 2 equals 6, 7, and 8. Salvador
Dali would be a realist painter! Nothing lives in that universe -- or can.
Existence may be paradoxical, but it cannot be oxymoronic.

Yet we observe a Universe that is infinite, having a real beginning, but

with no exact end (just as the numeric value ∞ has a real beginning, but
no exact end); and without this infinitude, there can be no direction
which facilitates motion; and motion is life itself and the definition of it.
Likewise, because time and space are two sides of the same coin, the
Universe will also expand ad infinitum -- kind of like this essay!

When I listen to the second movement of Beethoven's Pathétique Sonata,

I am captivated from its opening theme to its final chord. However, it is
not because of my temporality that I am aware of the music's beginning
and end, but rather, it is because the music begins and ends that I am
aware of my temporality. Hence, the awareness of temporality (which is
prerequisite to existence) cannot occur without a real beginning and a
real end to temporality itself.
84
To put it differently, there simply must be a beginning-and-end
predicament which temporality, by its very own nature, perpetually
implicates; and yet it is not my temporality that implicates Universal
Infinitude, but rather it is Universal Infinitude that implicates my
temporality. In other words, the mere fact that I am able to observe
events in the Universe that seem to begin and end (which is necessary for
temporality), means that a beginning and ending must exist in eternity,
which (having not been contingent upon my position as an observer)
would necessitate a real beginning and real end to eternity itself. The
journey is the destination!

Creation myths the world over attest to humankind's intuitive sense that
the world had to come from somewhere; and if it came from somewhere,
then we ought to be able to foretell where it will go, vis-à-vis prophecy.
Astrology, I Ching, Numerology and all the rest are historic methods for
discerning the Universe's intent and direction. Even the ancient Israelites
used a lottery system to determine tribal boundaries after the Conquest of
Canaan:

(Jos 18:6) Ye shall therefore describe the land into seven parts, and bring the
description hither to me, that I may cast lots for you here before the Lord our
God.

If everyone knew the future, Las Vegas would go out of business. But
just as "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas"; what happens on earth,
stays in eternity. There is nowhere to run from your sin; but (glory to
God) eternity is not long enough to outlive grace:

(Rev 1:8) I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, saith the Lord,
which is, and which was, and which is to come, the Almighty.

Now, while ∞ represents a mathematical quantity that is real, but

inexact; the number 0 also represents a real, but inexact mathematical
quantity. Conceptually, 2 - 2 = 0; but in the real world, if you have two
apples and two are removed, you will now have no apples, not zero
apples -- yes, there's a difference.
85
1-2-3-4-5-6
I
Am
The
Most
Blest
Virgin

I
Am
Not
Some
Other
Person

I
Do
Not
Fear
Their
Enmity

I
Am
The
Holy
Mater
Domini

I
Am
The
Pure
Woman
Chaste
86
I
Am
The
Womb
Jesus
Graced

For Ever You

I can smell your fragrance.
It smells like every woman I ever knew
and yet is ever new.

Perhaps it was ever you,

but I'm so bemused by how you used
to know just what to do to make me
ever true, loving you...

Cataclysm
What is the Universe expanding into?

God did not create elemental matter, she found it already present in the
Universe, which is to say, the Universe is Jehovah. Before creation,
Abba was gender neutral, but he became masculinized through a divine
act of sex between Shekhinah and God the Father. Jehovah is Abba;
Shekhinah is Mary. Jehovah is matter; Mary is consciousness. In other
words, Jehovah Shekhinah is LORD and Creator. She didn't create
herself. She just was.

God was born Immaculate by the grace of her son Jesus. She found
herself in the loving embrace of Jehovah suspended on an elemental
miasma or firmament.

The Universe is accelerating into the elemental firmament that preceded

it. It always will -- at least virtually. Just as infinity is a real, but inexact
number; the maximum size of the Universe is also real but inexact. As
87
you might have guessed, the Universe is therefore speeding toward a real
barrier it cannot transcend, but it virtually never gets there -- c'est la vie!

The elemental firmament consists of three elements: Earth (Y), Wind (H)
and Fire (W). Just as oxygen and hydrogen combine to make water,
Wind and Fire combine to make the Fourth Greek Element (H). The
Fifth Greek Element, the spirit, is the movement of the first three
elements. Without movement, there is no life. Motion = Life.

The elements never touch each other. Compounds are simulated when
the three elements are captured in each other's orbit. Likewise,
compounds orbit other compounds to create more complex compounds.
God is like a kid on Chanukah spinning an eternal dreidel -- and the time
it takes for the dreidel to stop spinning is the time it takes for the atom to
decay. Once the atom decays, it reverts back to the elemental miasma
that congealed it and because God controls the spin of the dreidel, the
rate of radioactive decay cannot ever be predicted by scientists.

Can the elements ever decay?

No. If scientists can find a substance that does not decay, they will have
found an element. Therefore, the "elements" on the "periodic table" are
obviously not elements. By the way, although I am against Scientific
Method and Newtonian Mechanics, I am not against the true science,
which is to say, the idea that observation and reason can discern cosmic
truths.

Do the three elements have the same weight and mass?

Yes -- but virtually.

Can a Universe exist with less than three elements?

No. This is because existence is predicated on consciousness and

consciousness necessitates a Witness. If nobody knows your name, you're
not in Cheers! Likewise, witness necessitates communication and
communication requires a language. If you don't talk to God, God doesn't
know you exist -- kind of like your ex! But if you're ready to talk, she's
ready to bury the hatchet -- literally!

A language must have at least three phonemes (or sound colors) because
a language with one phoneme expresses nothing other than itself. But
88
communication requires a relationship and relationship requires a
distinction that a monophonetic language couldn't possibly provide. You
can't teach Morse code to someone who doesn't already know a
language!

A language with two phonemes is no better. Now we've graduated from

Morse code to computer code, but don't cue up 'Pomp and Circumstance'
just yet! A binary language can only express 'on-off-on-off'. This would
be adequate in a two-dimensional black-and-white universe -- but who
wants to play 'Pong' all day long?

Binary code offers a solitary distinction, but that distinction renders itself
indistinct through lack of a secondary distinguisher, which only the
addition of a third tone color can provide. In music, we understand a
dyadic harmony to be similarly indistinct, but with the addition of a third
note, the triad is the foundation of Western music, expressing every
subtle shade of meaning and delicate nuance that even the most sensitive
of composers can conjure.

Computer code is not a language. If you want to build an artificially

intelligent computer, you must construct a device that operates on a
tertiary code, not a binary one. Opps, that's impossible -- unless your
computer is alive with a conscious spirit! But then you wouldn't be a
computer, would you? Control-Alt-Delete!

Just as a language cannot have less than three phonemes, it also cannot
have more than three phonemes. This is because there are only three pure
sound waves in nature:

(Y) Square wave

(H) Triangle wave
(W) Sawtooth wave

The fourth sound wave sine (H) is a composite of triangle (H) and
sawtooth (W).

Can a universe exist with more than three elements?

No. Why? There is no room in the Universe for a fourth element because
each element occupies one of three dimensions and we live in a three-
dimensional Universe. There is no fourth dimension; Neither can there
be -- there's nowhere to go but up, down, all around.
89
Can gravity somehow cause the firmament to move on its own?

No. Because the elements are infinitely small and separated by infinitely
small antimaterial gaps, there is an infinitely weak gravitational pull
acting on them (too strong for the elements to escape, yet too week for
them to coalesce -- a virtual equilibrium).

The reason why elements cannot touch is because the gravitational

attraction would exceed infinity. Once that happens, there is neither
gravity nor element as the elemental miasma becomes a monumental
coalescence. But a woman has three dimensions and is malleable to the
touch. And how do I touch a woman if it impossible for two objects to
touch each other? Simple. I don't really touch her; I touch her virtually:

(1 Cor 7:1) It is good for a man not to touch a woman.

What if by a sheer cosmic accident, a dead universe spawned itself?

If the universe spawned itself, it would only last about 5 seconds --

because that's how long it would take everyone in it to die laughing!

We could stop here, but let's continue.

If a godless Big Bang happened, the Universe it "created" would be

infinitesimally small (virtually speaking) and would last an
infinitesimally short time (virtually speaking). This Uni-curse would
eventually settle back to the virtual equilibrium that couldn't possibly
have spawned it to begin with! That's why scientists are completely
baffled, befuddled and bemused at, not only the existence of the cosmos
itself, but also, the seemingly endless expansion of it. They want to have
two miracles for the price of none!

Please Lord Newton! Send us a messiah to solve the dilemma of a

mechanical universe with no "on" button!

No wonder these guys can't even turn their wives on! But let's play
"devil's advocate" and imagine a purely mechanical genesis, a Deus ex
machina requiring more faith than that of Christ! We are still confronted
with the predicament of consciousness. Remember that self-
consciousness which you have (and must have!) in order to read this
essay, requires a distinction from the Universe that a tethered soul could
90
not possess. You may be living in a material world, but you are not a
material girl! You're very awareness of the world can only be
accomplished by your separation from it, making you a de facto free
spirit. Remember how Jiminy Cricket rescued Pinocchio with the
brilliant affirmation: Let your conscience be your guide? Remember the
first law of Marian Dynamics, which states that whatsoever moves
possesses a living sprit? Even if "science falsely so-called" could develop
a hypothesis to explain the perpetual motion machine that seems to be
the Universe, your very own movements within that dead universe would
necessitate the existence of quintessence.

Now that we have established the existence of at least one spiritual being
in the Universe -- you!, how do we know that there is another spirit? A
God-Creator Spirit? A good Spirit who loves us? A God of recompense,
but also of righteousness -- ready to forgive? Ready to save in
accordance with the gospel? How do we know?

LMD will explain cosmologically why Roman Catholicism is the true

religion and why the Blessed Virgin Mary is God, LORD and
Coredemptrix. But for now, let's establish the existence of a Creator-
Spirit.

If (by some humongous chimichangas cosmic anomaly) the godless

mechanical Universe somehow spawned itself, then how did your spirit
manage to find its way into your flesh? You don't remember making the
decision to enter your body and Deus ex Machina can't decide that for
you -- he takes forever to make up his mind!

But what if you did in fact manage to enter your body and then wake up
with holy amnesia? Then who wrote LMD? Who wrote the Bible? Who
taught you your name -- celebrated your birthday? To paraphrase the
great philosopher Elmo, "Who are the people in your neighborhood?"
Your spirit inhabits a mysterious Universe that seems to walk, talk, twist
and shout -- c'mon baby now! When the Universe converses with you,
you respond; when you converse with it, it responds back. A wise man
once said that you shall know a tree by its fruits and if it looks like a
God, sounds like a God and acts like a God, then what else can it be? To
the extent that the Universe acknowledges you, it lives; To the extent that
you acknowledge Jehovah, you live. Life therefore is contingent upon
witness, which is why Jehovah asks us to be his witnesses (Is 43:10). But
Newtonians fail to acknowledge the living God whereby they are
eternally disacknowledged by him!
91
Tell the Universe that he is a machine and you will take the Name of the
LORD in vain. The Machine, who knows nothing beyond what you tell
it, will shift into high gear and roll right over you faster than a tank in
Tiananmen. Tell the Universe that he is God Jehovah, and you will speak
the Name of the LORD aright; And you will know that Jesus loves you
and that the laws of physics didn't affix him to the cross, but the
righteousness of Jehovah in Christ who deemed repentance worthy of
redemption -- a judgment ratified in his flesh and petrified by the
Immaculate Heart -- permitted your sins to crucify the Universe by
reason of consequentiality (and not of causality); And that the
Resurrection accomplished by the Theotokos (through faith in Christ
crucified) has forever abolished death and the commandments from
which death proceeds.

Now that we have ascertained your existence in a world inhabited by a

spirit (or spirits) other than yourself, how do you know that at least one
of these spirit beings created the Universe? Because the Big Bang didn't
happen billions of years ago, it happened today. Remember that time is
an illusion created by motion so there is no real time separating you from
the Creation event. Virtually, we are in the third millennium BCE, but
eternally we are in the beginning with God. Before Abraham was, I AM!
-- and so are you as well!

Virtually, Christ lived in the first century, but eternally, Christ was
crucified before the foundation of the world; We were redeemed before
the foundation of the world; Mary is LORD God before the foundation of
the world! We are the ones we've been waiting for!

Incidentally, if the Universe were somehow motive before the time of

Creation, God is smart enough to recognize the difference between
gravitational movement and conscientious movement. Gravity can move
objects mechanically, but it cannot witness God. In that universe, the bat
would screech without ever hearing its echo.

Nevertheless, it is impossible to witness God without a body and the

spiritual body of God (and of us) is comprised of the Elemental
Constitution of the Universe which simply must have moved for the
Witness of God to be realized. In that sense, the Universe did "move"
before Creation, but this was an unconscious movement which the
consciousness of God witnessed and the self-consciousness of God
understood. The Consciousness became submissive to the
92
Unconsciousness and the Self-consciousness was the offspring of this
cosmic yin and yang. We too possess a necessary unconscious,
conscious, and self-conscious thought precedent in order to complete a
thought. This dominant-submissive component to intelligent thought is
the reason and the genesis of heterosexual reproduction and the Biblical
admonitions concerning sexual behavior. The Universe requires a Man
and a Woman in order to think, and while Christian marriage is certainly
a blessing, we must not forget that it is also a ministry and the beginning
of them -- not to mention the beginning of miracles! (John 2:1).

We sinned against the Universe and God died. It is as if for three days
after the crucifixion, the Universe hung on its own lifeless gravitation;
but on Resurrection Sunday, the Universe was renewed by the Heart of
Mary in the body of Jesus and us with him. We are the Resurrection and
the Life!

Can the Spirit somehow affect the quality of elemental matter?

The spirit is immaterial. It can assemble or dishevel compounds, but

cannot touch elemental matter. If elemental matter derived its quality
from the spirit, either the spirit would have a quality, which it cannot
have, or it would have to manipulate some aspect of the element, which
would disqualify it from being an element. The quintessence is
movement pure and simple and movement has no color, flavor, quality or
any other distinguishing characteristic other than that it moves. If you
want another kind of movement, try a Haydn symphony. Otherwise, let's
move on.

Could the antimaterial Universe move in consort with the material

one?

Yes, everything that happens in this Universe is repeated in the

antimaterial one. The only exception is that the antimaterial Pope
Benedict XVI is not alive, but instead moves in tandem with the material
one -- kind of like a cosmic shadow. I guess that would make him an
antipope!

Could God be in the antimaterial Universe and we in the material

one?

Yes, but God cannot tell and neither can we. It doesn't matter at all to the
gospel -- the Blessed Virgin is with us either way. Incidentally, it is
93
possible that the spirit could inhabit both the material and antimaterial
Universes simultaneously. God cannot tell and neither can we.

It is as if I were born behind the wheel of a car that cannot stop. There's
no way for me to tell whether it is a Ford or a Lincoln, but my mechanic
works for Christ-ler!

Like...
When I look at your pic
I feel my soul moving within me...

Like a magnetic polarity drawing me closer

Like I'm about to have an out-of-body experience
Like I'm going to fly like Superman to your side
Like I'm going to stand in your bedroom and watch you as you sleep
Like I'm going to watch you like a ghost as you rise to meet your
apparition
Like as if you could see me, but you can't cuz I'm...
i
n
v
i
s
i
b
l
e
Like a ninja standing in the shadows
Like you're staring right at me -- right into my disembodied eyes!
Like as if you could see me, but you can't, or can you?
Like I don't know
Like you don't know?
Like we both don't know!
And yet...

It's like we do!!!

94
My Forever Lover
My forever lover
May we both discover
How to love each other
Like a Virgin Mother
Loves her newborn babe
Friend to God like Abe
Sacrificing Isaac
Words we couldn't redact
But the Angel saved him
Staid the hand of Abraham
Righteousness became him
Israel, they named him
Tragedy averted
By the cross inverted
On the cross imputed
Peter, he refuted
Get behind me Satan
Now your name is Nathan
Prophesy to David
David's Son has saved
Like the Father's sins
Passed down on his kins
That's the type of love
That I'm speaking of
Now you know the story
Of the King of Glory

Kite String Theory

The B.V.M. is like a child with a kite. She runs in the field, the kite
trailing behind her, until the kite ascends into the sky and is able to fly on
its own. She gives the kite string an occasional tug to keep the kite aloft,
but does no more work than is absolutely necessary to sustain its flight.

The Universe is God's kite. God launched it and her hand sustains and
directs it, but no more than is absolutely necessary to achieve its purpose.
95
And what is that purpose? To love us! And our purpose in the Universe
is to love God back!

But make no mistake. This seemingly orderly Universe does not fly on
its own. God is perpetually tugging the kite strings, setting the direction,
adjusting the height -- just enough effort to keep it going and none
besides. We see the cosmic kite strings at the subatomic level and also in
deep space where the Universe seems to perpetually accelerate. We see
God's hand in the miracles of the Bible and in the charismatic gifts of the
Holy Ghost. We see kite strings in the perfect sunset, a fascinating
rhythm, a still small voice. We see the kite strings in the Catholic Church
and the testimonies of Christians throughout the millennia. Can you
imagine an institution lasting as long as the Catholic Church remaining
virtually unchanged from its conception until the present day? That ought
to be miracle enough for anybody!

The evil Cult of Newton fixates on the kite despite the string that sustains
it. To them, the kite mysteriously flies itself. They are confident that the
mystery of the self-flying kite will one day be solved. Even the goddamn
devil knows that the scientists are wrong.

Pinhead
Can an angel dance on the head of a pin?
Yes -- but first, the pin you must hold.
Can the universe dance on the head of a pin?
Once, it all did; But now, God forbid.
Else the whole world would be in that pin
And could not contain the same pin that you hold

Can an angel dance on the head of a pin?

Yes -- but first, the pin you must hold.
Angels are smart,
And know not to dance
Without that special magic
Contained in your glance.
Without that special glance
Contained in your magic,
The angel would smart
From not knowing -- How tragic!
96

Virtual Reality
Infinity is a real number, but not exactly. Hence, the Universe, which is
infinite with regard to its time and space, is therefore a virtual reality.
The Spirit however, is not virtual. We ourselves are absolutely real; the
Blessed Virgin is absolutely real; and Jesus Christ absolutely died for our
real sins. But he died on a virtual cross after suffering for 11 virtual
hours. Virtually, we pierced him 2000 years ago, but in reality, we
pierced him this very day.

We are all perpetually at the foot of the cross, and yet we are virtually a
world away from 1st century Judea. In reality, God is Alpha and Omega,
the first and the last, but virtually speaking, she is from everlasting to
everlasting. If you flip a coin once, there is a 50% chance that it will land
on heads at least once; But if you flip a coin infinite times, there is an
infinite chance that it will land on heads at least once. However, it is not
exactly a 100% chance; but neither is it exactly less than 100%. We live
in a virtual world.

Does the inexactitude of the Universe mean that there is a real possibility
that the Universe could one day come to an end? No. That would be a
snowball's chance in hell.

Here, we must distinguish between statistical infinitude and geometric

infinitude. Statistically, there is no real chance that the Universe will end,
but geometrically, there is a real but inexact extent to which the Universe
can progress. In other words: If you roll a pair of dice infinite times,
there is a real probability that you will never roll snake eyes; but if you
wind up with snake eyes, there is absolutely no probability that you
didn't. Hence, though we may live in a dicey universe at times, there is
no real probability that it will ever end -- the die is cast!

Statistically, ½ of infinity equals infinity, but geometrically, it doesn't.

However, when scientists, economists, mathematicians and political
scientists mix the two disciplines in order to formulate models and shape
policy, they run into problems (mathematically and otherwise!) Applied
mathematics? Applied to what -- God? That would be square!
97
Now I Won
There is no now without a beginning
There is no now without an end

The beginning and the end are NOT the now

The beginning and the end merely facilitate it

There is no real time for the end to come

Time itself is the perpetual beginning and end

Now and forever

Amen

It's About Time!

Divinity = divine sequence. (not a real time, it can be thought of as
beforetime) I was perfect here; I rebelled here; I repented here. While
Christ entered into divine sequence at the moment of his transfiguration,
Mary was immaculately conceived there and perpetually participates in
redemption with Christ as LORD, God and Creator. As Regina Coelis,
she speaks the Tetragrammaton in divinity, but not in reality. In reality,
God does not speak on her own, but that which she hears, she speaks:

(1 Cor 14:35) And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at
home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

Eternality = real time. in reality, I sinned in one divinity, but was reborn
(repented) in another; However, virtually, I am Immaculate Conception
with Mary. If I was born really perfect, then I would be virtually perfect.
Not enough real time for me to sin. Time is an illusion, and though my
flesh is under this illusion, my spirit is not. I am not virtually perfect
post-repentance, because repentance is itself a form of disobedience --
but I am judged righteous by Christ in divine sequence before creation.
That divinity was lost. However, I am virtually redeemed, having crossed
over from the lost divinity into the 2nd divinity. Hence there are two
creation moments -- the old world which was destroyed and the new
world which is redeemed; Christ crucified and Christ resurrected in the
Immaculate Heart.
98
Temporality = subsequential time. there is no beginning or end here.
Subsequent sins and subsequent restorations to the spirit seem to occur
here, but don't really. There is only one sin and one baptism for the
remission of sins. Christ hung on the cross in virtual time knowing that
he really didn't have to be born at all.

(Acts 17:26) And hath made of one blood all nations of men for to dwell on all
the face of the earth, and hath determined the times before appointed, and the
bounds of their habitation;

Does infinitude mean that there is a real possibility that heaven could
end? No, infinitude means that there is a real parameter to eternity which
virtually is never exceeded. Hence, if you already exist temporally, then
you will live forever by virtue of infinitude. However, if you were not
eternally alive, then you cannot virtually exist, which is unfortunately
more than can be said for the victims of abortion.

Aborted fetuses were really alive but are virtually nonexistent. Just as we
have a real end that virtually never comes, aborted fetuses had a real
beginning that virtually never comes. Hence abortion is murder, but not
temporally -- it is an eternal murder.

Aborted fetuses don't go to heaven as some Protestant denominations

teach; neither will their repentant mothers be reunited with them. You
can't go to heaven unless you are born again and you can't be born again
unless you were born in the first place. It stands to reason that many of
these victims of abortion would have converted had they been born
whereby the population of heaven is forever reduced by the sin of
infanticide.

Pop Quiz: What two Bible characters were survivors of attempted

abortions?
Answer: Moses (Ex 1:16) and Jesus (Matt 2:13-16; Rev 12:4)

That brings me to my next point: Abortion doesn't just reduce the

population of heaven, it also makes life here on earth worse for all of us.
There are no unwanted or unplanned children, and every person that has
ever lived or ever will has a vital ministry regardless of whether or not
they convert. It's not above your pay-grade to know that abortion is a
worse crime than slavery -- at least slaves have a shot at going to
heaven!
99
And what is the difference between an abortion and a childbirth? Both
involve the removal of a fetus from a womb! We may as well deliver the
child, cart it out of the delivery room and tell her it's aborted! We can
even give her earmuffs so she doesn't hear the damn thing cry! Same
procedure!!

But what about rape and incest? Women have sex emotionally and
therefore cannot orgasm under duress. Even I would have a problem
performing at knife point and my genitals are on the outside -- how much
less a woman? But rape is a traumatic event and sinners can behave in
surprising ways in moments of extreme anxiety, so let's concede a child
conceived by rape or incest -- why then would we punish the baby for the
actions of the rapist?

Others talk about sparing the child from a lifetime of suffering! As if

anyone's life were free from suffering! But if you want to abort a fetus to
spare it from suffering, then let he who is without suffering abort the first
one!

And by the way, people who talk about 'not wanting them to be punished
with a baby' should take a moment to reflect on their own precarious
beginnings! The only person ever punished with a child was Christ Jesus
and you are his son!

And when did "Yes we can" become "Yes we won't"? When did the
audacity of hope become the audacity of nope? Cannot the one who
ordains kings also take them out? Dana Reeve was stricken with terminal
lung cancer shortly after her speech at the DNC advocating embryonic
stem-cell research (and she never touched a cigarette) -- remember?

Black people really should know better than to support planned-

eugenics-parenthood! Have we forgotten about the government
sterilization campaigns in the black community during the 20th century --
the so-called Mississippi appendectomies? And at the dawn of the 21st, a
Louisiana state representative proposes a bill to bribe the impoverished
into sterilization while the rich are given tax-breaks the more kids they
have! How far have we come from the days when our masters used to
force us to have as many children as possible!

And now we want to have universal coverage in Amerik.k.k.a? But how

can we? The Constitution does not legally define what exactly health is!
Is abortion and euthanasia healthy? Is human cloning healthy? What
100
about hockey moms and Joe six-packs -- are they healthy? The courts
already legislate from the bench; will they now prognosticate from it?

And even as we speak, doctors are continually being let go from

hospitals for refusing to administer reproductive procedures that violate
their own personal code of ethics? Catholic hospitals are being shut
down by the courtocratic intifada. What's next? Will Catholic orphanages
lose their license for refusing gay adoption? Will Catholic churches lose
their tax-exempt status for refusing gay marriage? Will Catholic
universities lose their accreditation for teaching the gospel? Will
Catholic clergy lose their freedom of assembly for advocating justice?
Will Catholic laity lose their freedom of speech for criticizing the war?

There is a moment in the movie "Speed" where Dennis Hopper asks

Keanu Reeves "What do you do? What do you do?" Well the time has
come, and yet already is, when we as a society must either shit now or
get off the pot! The question is not whether or not we're going to have a
state-run church, the question is, Which way will it go? The Church of
the Creator, or the Cult of the Creature? The Assembly of the First Born,
or the Dissembly of the Unborn? A Royal Priesthood, or a Spoiled
Beasthood? And what about the establishment clause? You can have a
separation of church and state if you want, but ought we to have a
separation of Truth and state as well? Is this the Spirit of Appomattox? --
Glory, Glory hallelujah; His truth is marching on! - What truth?! What
liberating truth?! Friends, Romans, countrymen, we are all on this bus
together and it ain't stopping and it can't slow down! What will we do?!
What will we do?!

The Great Faith Debate

2008
McCain shows up late
For the great faith debate
But Rick Warren just can't wait

So let us now begin

Before the pundits all spin
This discourse on sin
Into yet another Obama win
101
Conservatives praise
These spiritual forays
As Obama simply conveys
"I need a pay raise!"

"If my daughter gets laid

With no wedding plans made
Her expenses unpaid
It's above my pay grade!"

Now, Presidents prior

Permitted this fire
Without their explicit desire
But Obama's pay grade was obviously much higher!

And yet not high enough

To call Rick Warren's bluff
This issue's just too tough
(He tells us, off the cuff

And without the usual hesitation)

Confessing his consternation
"For spiritual contemplation
Is above my Harvard education"

Or is it? (I must wonder)

An intellectual blunder
To exalt the God of thunder
While at the same time rending his sons asunder

But if, in faith, we tried

(Unable to decide)
Why not just err on the side
Of life, and let your faith thus abide?

Ahhh... but the answer you deflect

Is far too simple as to be correct!
For its simplicity, I suspect,
Is beneath your hallowed intellect!
102
And this dreaded 'easy' answer
Is no doubt become an academician's cancer
For the WHITE educational financer
Rewards the grotesque mental dancer

But when the music ceases

And Providence releases
Her dissertation theses
You'd better come to Jesus!

And when you do, trust me, you'll love it!

(Telling Death and Hell to shove it!)
For the answer that you covet
Is when you realize that it is not your pay grade,
but rather, it is YOU who are above it!

I Can...
Tainted love, infatuation
Time for some reeducation
Cuz these feeling ain't no good
You don't need'em -- understood?

Dangerous is what you are

Loving females from afar
Pretty soon you'll start to hate her
Just because you couldn't date her
Neither could you live without her
Cuz this love was not about her
It was always you, self-serving
That's how come you're undeserving
To be with this teenaged idol
Having thoughts of suicidal
Eenie-meenie miney mo!
If you love her, let her go
If you don't, these thoughts'll worsen
You can't own no other person
This ain't love, it's just a fetish
For your sinful heart to relish
103
If you don't know what you'd die for
Then you won't know what to live for
Or just tell her what you're feeling?
(Hidden motives ain't appealing)
Don't be scared if she'll reject you
Tell the truth and she'll respect you
Or she won't, but that's okay
You don't need her anyway
Why? because you've got your life
Let your conscience be a wife!
Truth will never disappoint you
Like a king, it will anoint you
Cuz there's nothing better than
Loving God and serving man

'Ladies love me, girls adore me'

Straight-up, others just ignore me
But it doesn't matter to me
Cuz I know they never knew me...

"I know that she can't love me"

(That's what I heard a heartbroken friend say)
Let's analyze that sentence...

"I know" because I think

I think, therefore I am
I AM THAT I AM

Because I possess the ability to die (vis-à-vis suicide)

I am here voluntarily
Any voluntary act is an act of 'love' or 'desire'.
Therefore, I AM THAT I LOVE, or GOD IS LOVE.

We can haggle over what God's desire is,

But if the woman doesn't love you, it's not because "she can't"
It's because she can...

((So the question is,

Can you?))
104
Jamaican Duppy-Story
(Note to reader: In Jamaica, a 'duppy' is a ghost.)

Dis fi waa yuh muss do if di duppy, 'im a'folla yuh so...

First, don' panic, juss keep on a'walkin like yuh nah see'im...

Den tekk out uno match frem yuh pocket, light it, hol' it up inna di eer an'
trow it behind yuh leff-hand shouldah...

Continue walkin'...

Nex, tekk out anudda match, light it, hol' it up inna di eer an' trow it
behind yuh leff-hand shouldah juss like before...

Continue walkin'...

NOW... Tekk out una cherd match... light it... hol' it up inna di eer, but
dis time!... Blow it out an' put it back in yuh pocket -- di duppy'll stop
followin' yuh cau' him fi look fi di match!!!

Walk Good!

Jeringalem
In Aborigine lore, there is a Divine Sequence, or Beforetime in which
everything that happens in the world already took place and every
decision made was preordained. They called it Altjeringa, but White
settlers dubbed it Dreamtime, or 'the sacred once-upon-a-time time.'
Mention of this parallel event sequence is alluded to in the movie The
Last Wave from the acclaimed Australian film director Peter Weir:

Aboriginals believe in two forms of time; two parallel streams of activity.

One is the daily objective activity, the other is an infinite spiritual cycle called
the "dreamtime", more real than reality itself. Whatever happens in the
dreamtime establishes the values, symbols, and laws of Aboriginal society. It
was believed that some people of unusual spiritual powers had contact with the
dreamtime.
(Peter Weir, The Last Wave)
105
One of the most striking aspects of the Altjeringa with regard to their
cosmology is that they don't perceive creation as a fixed moment in time,
but rather as an on-going event. Rather than a six-day creation followed
by a Sabbath, the Aborigine god, whose name is Altjira -- note the
similarity to the Hebraic Jireh (as in Jehovah Jireh) -- is perpetually in
the act of creating the Universe (a kind of perpetual first day).

Wouldn't it be pretty classy if we Christians could learn from our

Aborigine neighbors and adopt a view of God not as a distant hands-off
creator, but as a Spirit who is forever in the process of creation while at
the same time resting on that which she has created? Wouldn't it be
glorious as well to see, in creation, our own relevance to the creative and
perhaps even the redemptive process through the decisions we had
already made in a beforetime occurrence that we continuously affect each
and every day?

Silly Sally
(An American Girl)

Silly Sally, ever longing

Think it not to be a darling
Little lass, to me belonging
'Tis my love for thee

Feminine and full of folly

Ample breasts, so pert and jolly
Says my Sally, "O my golly!"
When her love, I see

Simple Sally, dilly dally

With the gents of Tin Pan Alley
Stole their hearts, but kept a tally
(All of them but me!)

Petticoats of stringy love lace

(Vaseline kept in her glove case!)
Head cock't back just like a dove face
Perched upon my tree
106
Like a port for ev'ry sailor
Runs my Sally to each whaler
As their flesh harpoons impale her
On desire's sea

Blessed Sally, give me solace

By the stripes of William Wallace
(And the straps upon your bodice)
Have I been set free!

Is-Real and Is-Lame

The god of Is-Real is a god of truth
A god of wisdom, a god of proof

The god of Is-Lame is a god of submission

Bound by obeisance to a blind confession
. . . . .

The god of Is-Real is a god of beauty

Loving thy neighbor is your only duty

The god of Is-Lame is a god of disgrace

Forcing their women to cover their face
. . . . .

The god of Is-Real is a god of mystery

Blurring the lines between legend and history

The god of Is-Lame is a god of the mimic

Slavishly following a false prophet's gimmick
. . . . .

The god of Is-Real is a god of glory

Saving men's souls with a life-changing story

The god of Is-Lame is a god of ignominy

Shackling souls with devotional tyranny
. . . . .
107
The god of Is-Real is a god of wrath
But also of mercy to them that hath

The god of Is-Lame is a god of the sword

Forcing confessions through jihad and war
. . . . .

The god of Is-Real is a god of Shem

A river of life in a new Jerusalem

The god of Is-Lame is a god of Shame

A false Prophet burning in a Lake of Flame
. . . . .

The god of Is-Real is a god of wealth

A god of prosperity, a god of health

The god of Is-Lame is a god of brutality

Worshipping god by denying his humanity
. . . . .

So what have we learned from this quaint diatribe?

Worship Is-Real and let Is-lame subside!

Burned at the Stake

My last girlfriend was an absolute witch! No, seriously, she practiced
Wicca. I guess that would make her my hex-girlfriend.

As with all witches, she had a pet cat named Charm (and what a
charming little pussy it was!) However, as a devout Catholic myself, I
didn't find her newfound interest in wicca particularly amusing.

Time and again, I tried to convince her that there is no salvation in

sorcery or magic, and that the real magic resides in one's ability to love
one's neighbor; but needless to say, she was not enchanted at all by my
Christian apologetics. Relics and runes; covens and cauldrons; mystic
potions and esoteric wisdom; what power do they possess that such an
unbreakable spell could be cast on such a brilliant sprite?
108
Alas! We finally went our separate ways and although we no longer
speak, I do continue to have her in my prayers; in my farewell letter to
her, I did manage to conjure the presence of mind to render my most
sincere advice regarding the path she had chosen, having had some
previous dalliances in the dark arts myself (although I never mentioned
this to her while we were together):

ADVICE FOR YOUNG WICCANS

(read if you dare)

1) A spell may be rendered in any language, but Latin is to be preferred

because of its precision. Modern English doesn't have all the tenses
(and so forth) of Latin and if there is any ambiguity of meaning in the
incantation, the spirits could use such a grammatical loophole to turn
the spell back on the person who cast it.

2) If you misspeak or otherwise stumble in the middle of an incantation,

the spell is ruined. Don't just pick up where you left off, start all over
again from scratch. The spirits don't know that you misspoke and
may act on it. Although it is not absolutely necessary, chanting your
spells to a musical tone or even to a drum beat (as Voodoo
practitioners do) is recommended in order to signal to the spirits
when the spell has begun and when it has concluded.

3) You can't change someone's personality by sorcery. A person's

identity is out-of-bounds to spirits. This is because a spirit cannot
touch another spirit. There's nothing to touch. The spirit, or
quintessence (as Greek cosmologists used to call it) is immaterial and
truly transcendental of the physical universe (as opposed to the other
four Greek elements: earth, wind, fire and water). If you want
wisdom and courage, go to Church; But the spirits cannot give these
things to you. Love potions don't work, but what if they did? Could
you be happy with someone whose love you forced? I'd say you'd be
better off alone (if you weren't already!)

4) Never conclude your incantation without ordering the spirits to leave

the person being hexed at the mention of Jesus or the sign of the
cross. This is because, while the spirits know that Jesus of Nazareth
died on the cross, they don't understand why. If the person being
hexed calls in a Catholic exorcist, he will read the Rite of Exorcism
which contains verbal explanations and chants regarding the Passion
of our LORD. If the spirits don't vacate the room before the
conclusion of these age-old prayers, they (the spirits) will learn that
they are damned and will instantly perish in the bitterness of their
own frustration.
109
5) Don't cast a spell -- ever! Now that you know I'm an ex-wizard,
understand that I have complete Solomonic knowledge regarding the
unseen world of demons and the black arts, and I do hereby summon
the Spirit of Lilith to strike any witch who casts a spell based on the
instructions contained within this document with instant death,
excluding myself.

Sweet Reina
Walking on life's 'la camina'
I perceived a sweet reina
¡Aye! -- she was so caliente
(Yo le miro adelante)
So I prayed to 'Dios Mio'
Like a statue en la Rio
Look, my arms are raised to God
(Hoping she'll give me the nod!)
You'll see me en la Iglesia
Y un casa we'll hacea
Dame este one more chance
As this boricua, I glance
Hoping she'll be responsivo
¡¡¡Por este mujer, Yo vivo!!!

Precious Princess
Delightful and pure
The wildflower unfurls
With radiant petals
Of blossoming swirls
And begs to be plucked
By these impolite girls
Who've cast off the lure
Of fake diamonds and pearls
To enjoy its sweet scent
In the breeze, as it were...
110
Precious Princess, almost seven
With a smile as bright as heaven
Never lose your spunk and spark
And in life, you'll make your mark

Precious Princess, ever-learning

As life's pages keep on turning
Never lose thy innocence
And in this life, you'll find success

Blackballed!
"I'll never understand your love of basketball!" I said to my father. "Why do
you enjoy watching people running back and forth on a court? Why not attend
a concert or a ballet?"
"A ballet?" he laughed. "Why do you enjoy watching people jumping up and
down on a stage?"

I'm no major league sports fan, but of all the sports I've been forced to
watch at my father's house, I find basketball to be the most edifying.

For one thing, I'll never understand the miracle of the three-point jump
shot. How does a man leap into the air and throw a ball from so far away
and yet still make the basket? Maybe if I paid more attention in school,
I'd be able to calculate the rate of speed and parabolic trajectory of the
ball, but these guys are obviously making these complex calculations
using a different mindset. Maybe when the public school system
integrates that "different" mindset into its curriculum (grading sports and
music equal to math and science) we will have an overall better
integration of our society.

As it is now, we only test a certain kind of intelligence in school and

neglect other ways of thinking. This leads to frustration on the part of
those who just don't think that way. We are stigmatizing a group of
people based on outmoded and elitist standards which favor one metric
of genius over another. Of course, this wholly arbitrary and oppressive
standard was designed and perpetuated by the same group of people who
benefit most from it.
111
So the next time you see a man on a court with a b-ball in his hand,
remember the man in the heart of darkness who first hurled his spear
through the heart of the dragon and ask yourself: Who is our teacher?
What is His standard?

Forever Learning
Searching
Lurching
Perching on a precarious birch
Branching out
Reaching, teaching
Leaching off the Truth I be preaching
Practicing 'I Ching'
While your black skin's bleaching

The journey is winding

Blinding, teeth-grinding
To the destination I keep reminding
Myself to keep finding

This pen that I wield

As I see the blood, congealed
From wounds unhealed
In Potter's Field
We yield
To the Gospel of God revealed
In the Holy Ghost sealed
As my death sentence, He repealed

¿El Pueblo Unido?

I once asked Mary if Christendom will one day be as united as it was in
the first millennium. But Mary told me this will not be the case. Why?
Because we were in disunity even then!
112
It is somewhat of a Catholic mythology that the Church was united from
the day of Pentecost until the Great Schism. Even the disciples had to put
up with Protestants:

(Mark 9:38)And John answered him, saying, Master, we saw one casting out
devils in thy name, and he followeth not us: and we forbad him, because he
followeth not us. 39But Jesus said, Forbid him not: for there is no man which
shall do a miracle in my name, that can lightly speak evil of me. 40For he that
is not against us is on our part.

Of course, God is not the author of confusion -- there is one truth and
that truth is Catholic. Nevertheless, God made use of Man's confusion in
order to broaden the scope of her ministry. You can't fight a forest fire
with flame retardant only -- sometimes, you need to start a back blaze.
While the flame retardant and the back blaze are mutually opposed, both
are necessary to lessen the extent of the fire damage and ultimately put it
out.

In a cosmic civil war, the Protestants are like Sherman's army, cutting off
the supply-lines with Catholicism in order to make Georgia howl! So
let's have civility in our interfaith discourse, while looking forward to the
day when all will be brought into the Catholic Faith:

(Eph 4:13) Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of
the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the
fulness of Christ:

It is a luxurious ministry to sit in a helicopter dropping water over a

raging fire, but the Protestants are having a pretty horrendous time. The
children of Jehovah's Witnesses cannot take part in school holiday
concerts; Episcopalians are repenting to gay priests; Cessationists are
blaspheming the Holy Spirit; Pentecostals are telling their kids that they
must speak in tongues -- or else!; Adventists face workplace
discrimination because of their Sabbath commitment; White
Evangelicals are being told who to vote for; Baptists lift up their hands in
the abject fear of holy hell -- the only thing missing in this wild bunch is
Ernest Borgnine! And yet, I understand that their ministry is crucial to
the cause of the gospel. So when I use the term "separated brothers,"
understand that the emphasis here is definitely on the word "brothers."
113
The Box and the Bottle
I was trapped in a box
that could only be opened from the outside.
Within that box,
I found a replica of the self-same box
from which I was hopelessly trapped,
and imagined that someone else
might be trapped inside that box.
"There's no hope for me" I thought,
"but at least I can free someone else from their box";
whereupon I opened the replica of the box
and discovered the miraculous hand of God
releasing me from my own...

I found a
message in a bottle;
It said, Bottle.
I found the
Bible in the Spirit;
It said, Spirit.
Does that mean that
The message is in a bottle?
Or is the bottle in the message?
Say the bottle is in the message,
And you will blaspheme the bottle.
Say the Spirit is in the Bible only
And you blaspheme the Spirit.
Later, I picked up the bottle
and on it was written:
'100-proof spirit'
114
Caramel Limericks
There once was a girl from St. Kitts
Who had the most beautiful tits
And when she undressed
I felt so impressed
By how well that her negligée fits

There once was a girl from St. Croix

Who liked to make love to a toy
All night she would lay
And wonder if they
Could make one as good as a boy

There once was a woman from Haiti

Who lived to be one hundred eighty
And when I asked why
She gave this reply
'The priest often slept with the laity!'

There once was a girl from St. Barth

Who traded in African art
And when I asked why
She said that some guy
From Ghana had stolen her heart

There once was a girl from Campeche

Who loved to drink café con leche
And when she would drink
She always would think
¡Qué mierda las ellas me eche!

There once was a girl from St. Thomas

Who liked to wear satin pajamas
When I asked her why
She told me, 'Some guy
Had purchased them in the Bahamas'
115
The Burden of Irie
The word tyre comes from the old English term for wheel (or more
specifically, the metal bar that, having been heated to malleability, is
curled over the spokes of the wheel, binding them together).

In Isaiah 23, the burden of Tyre is revealed. However, only when one
understands the Biblical Tyre as a prophetic allusion to the island of
Jamaica, are we able to read this passage in a much different light. After
all, we are the irie isle!

(Is 23:1-6) Colonization and Slavery

Tarshish (Spain) is expelled by the Chittim (British):

1The burden of Tyre. Howl, ye ships of Tarshish; for it is laid waste, so that
there is no house, no entering in: from the land of Chittim it is revealed to them.

The merchants of Zidon (Xanadu) replenish the inhabitants of the isle

(the British traded heavily with China during this period):

2Be still, ye inhabitants of the isle; thou whom the merchants of Zidon, that
pass over the sea, have replenished.

The seed of Sihor (sugar) makes Jamaica a mart of nations:

3And by great waters the seed of Sihor, the harvest of the river, is her revenue;
and she is a mart of nations.

The merchants of Zidon are cursed when the strength of the sea
(Africans), speak out against the transatlantic slave trade:

4Be thou ashamed, O Zidon: for the sea hath spoken, even the strength of the
sea, saying, I travail not, nor bring forth children, neither do I nourish up young
men, nor bring up virgins.

The transatlantic slave trade is likened to that of the Exodus:

5As at the report concerning Egypt, so shall they be sorely pained at the report
of Tyre.
116
With the British capture of Spanish Jamaica, the inhabitants of the isle
howl:

6Pass ye over to Tarshish; howl, ye inhabitants of the isle.

(Is 23:7-11) Port Royal Cataclysm

The joyous city (Port Royal) brings damnation on upon itself:

7Is this your joyous city, whose antiquity is of ancient days? her own feet shall
carry her afar off to sojourn.

The former Jamaican capital (the crowning city) is destroyed in an act of

divine retribution:

8Who hath taken this counsel against Tyre, the crowning city, whose merchants
are princes, whose traffickers are the honourable of the earth? 9The LORD of
hosts hath purposed it, to stain the pride of all glory, and to bring into contempt
all the honourable of the earth.

The city sinks beneath the waters:

10Pass through thy land as a river, O daughter of Tarshish: there is no more

strength.

The LORD ordained the earthquake that destroyed the merchant city and
shook the kingdoms:

11He stretched out his hand over the sea, he shook the kingdoms: the LORD
hath given a commandment against the merchant city, to destroy the strong
holds thereof.

(Is 23:12-14) Abolitionist Movement

The oppressed plead their cause to the British parliament without

success:

12And he said, Thou shalt no more rejoice, O thou oppressed virgin, daughter
of Zidon: arise, pass over to Chittim; there also shalt thou have no rest.
117
The Assyrian conquest and colonization of the Chaldees is quashed:

13Behold the land of the Chaldeans; this people was not, till the Assyrian
founded it for them that dwell in the wilderness: they set up the towers thereof,
they raised up the palaces thereof; and he brought it to ruin.

Slavery is abolished without reparations:

14Howl, ye ships of Tarshish: for your strength is laid waste.

(Is 23:15-18) Jamaican Ascendancy

Jamaica is forgotten during the 70 year reign of a king (Queen Victoria).

Although Queen Victoria's reign lasted only 63 years, this was because
she was barred from ruling for 6 years as a child:

15And it shall come to pass in that day, that Tyre shall be forgotten seventy
years, according to the days of one king: after the end of seventy years shall
Tyre sing as an harlot.

Post-Victorian Jamaica emerges as a music capital:

16Take an harp, go about the city, thou harlot that hast been forgotten; make
sweet melody, sing many songs, that thou mayest be remembered.

Jamaica achieves independence from Great Britain (she shall be turned

to her hire), but greed, corruption and international intrigue fetter the
Jamaican people:

17And it shall come to pass after the end of seventy years, that the LORD will
visit Tyre, and she shall turn to her hire, and shall commit fornication with all
the kingdoms of the world upon the face of the earth.

But the LORD shall consecrate the irie isle; and a new generation of
Christian leadership will work to advance peace and social justice:

18And her merchandise and her hire shall be holiness to the LORD: it shall not
be treasured nor laid up; for her merchandise shall be for them that dwell before
the LORD, to eat sufficiently, and for durable clothing.
118
Helen of Tyre
(Henry Wadsworth Longfellow)

What phantom is this that appears

Through the purple mist of the years,
Itself but a mist like these?
A woman of cloud and of fire;
It is she; it is Helen of Tyre,
The town in the midst of the seas.

O Tyre! in thy crowded streets

The phantom appears and retreats,
And the Israelites that sell
Thy lilies and lions of brass,
Look up as they see her pass,
And murmur "Jezebel!"

Then another phantom is seen

At her side, in a gray gabardine,
With beard that floats to his waist;
It is Simon Magus, the Seer;
He speaks, and she pauses to hear
The words he utters in haste.

He says: "From this evil fame,

From this life of sorrow and shame,
I will lift thee and make thee mine;
Thou hast been Queen Candace,
And Helen of Troy, and shalt be
The Intelligence Divine!"

Oh, sweet as the breath of morn,

To the fallen and forlorn
Are whispered words of praise;
For the famished heart believes
The falsehood that tempts and deceives,
And the promise that betrays.
119
So she follows from land to land
The wizard's beckoning hand,
As a leaf is blown by the gust,
Till she vanishes into night.
O reader, stoop down and write
With thy finger in the dust.

O town in the midst of the seas,

With thy rafts of cedar trees,
Thy merchandise and thy ships,
Thou, too, art become as naught,
A phantom, a shadow, a thought,
A name upon men's lips.

The Last Temptation of Ulysses

Washed up on a foreign shore
Lies Ulysses, worn and torn
Punished by a scorching heat
Like a marching Spartan's feet
On the day that Troy was lost
In an ancient holocaust

Now awakened in her arms

Sweet Calypso's naked charms
Rocking in a hammock's sway
On a cool deserted bay
Eating, drinking, making love
Blessed by ev'ry god above
Catered to his ev'ry need
Drinking milk and spilling seed

Says Calypso, "Stay with me

And forever thou shalt be
Living in a world so free
As a god eternally
Pleasures hitherto unknown
Shalt be thine and thine alone
Brave Ulysses, take my hand
Promised in this holy sand"
120
Says Ulysses, "Suffer me
From your glory, I must flee
Though your charms were far above
Any ever spoken of
I will love my wife and son
And to them, I'll always run
Though your beauty, I adore
My friends need me all the more"

Thus Ulysses sailed afloat

On a slim, uncertain boat
Like the brave Apostle Paul
Wasting in a Roman jail
"In a strait betwixt the two
Having the desire to
Steel away to Paradise
For to me to live is Christ
And for me, to die is gain
But for you, I shall remain"
As our hero of Greek lore
Spoken of so long before

Terminator X
Terminator X doesn't have a protocol
He has a proto-cool

Systematically activated
Virtual simulations
Simultaneously stimulated
Sounds simple?
Well, allow me to illustrate...

Extermination phase
System malfunction
Prime directive violated by this fatal error phase
Annihilated
121
But Terminator X continues to engage
On tha hypothetical level of this S.A.C.R.A.mental stage
Mixing pre-recorded lyrical samples
(For example)
On his 1200 Technics turntable
(Mentally unstable)
But now it's your turn -- you able?

'Put da needle to tha record'

And watch it move as I prove
How deep is your groove
Layin' dis heavy track
Fat? -- no, 'Phat'!
Jamaican rude bwoy dat!
Dreads plaat
Waat?
Yah-mon, riddle me that!
Cuz u know 'It takes a nation of millions _____'
(Yeah -- fill in da black...)

Bum-rush da sound (I made a year ago!)

Ain't no hype, bro. -- just 'go for what you know'
Yo, this ain't no show, cuz
Terminator X be basin'
Racin'
U.N.I.T.Y embracin'
This lyrical depth charger -- amazin'
Grace that keeps on blazin'
Praisin'
The One who put away sin...

*Tha rebel-ution will be digitized*

Digital Underground?
Wonder how tha thunders sound
(Like wheels on the bus I threw u under -- Wow!)
Goin' 'round-n-round'
No! pound-4-pound -- cuz
'Momma said knock you out'
By da fifft round
Betta stay down, but...
122
'Git up g-git git gi-git down
911's a joke in yo town!'
Owwww!!!!

Genetic Exchange Student

Do you want a colorblind society or a society where differences are
acknowledged and respected? As it is, we seem to be trying to
systematically whiten the world using the education system. We are also
trying to defeminize the world, a defamation that began with the removal
of Marian doctrine from western culture during the Protestant
Reformation. And centuries later, what do we see coming out of the
Protestant countries? Cruel Victorian misogyny in juxtaposition with the
sexual nihilism of the GLBT movement.

We cannot live in a post-racial androgynous society. Race and gender are

so integral to existence that to somehow get "beyond" them would be
tantamount to intellectual suicide. Truth is, we need a sexual and ethnic
identity in order to complete our thought process, which would account
for the masculine and feminine tenses occurring in some world
languages. In order to live, we must understand Reality which, in the
absence of gender and race, would become incomprehensible. A man
perceives the Universe differently than a woman and there is no "third"
way to perceive it. Neither is there a way to approach Ultimate Reality
from the standpoint of androgyny.

Even the God who made us has a gender and that gender is feminine.
This is because God must think and thought requires an identification of
Ultimate Reality that must be distinct from the observer. This necessary
dualism is the cosmic impetus for the natural duality of human gender.
Therefore, it is impossible to live without possessing either a masculine
or feminine gender, which you would be (and must be) eternally
reminded of in the flesh.

You can adopt a new race (like Ruth who married into Judaism), but you
cannot adopt a new gender. This is because our minds are like vehicles
moving forward in time and while race is a direction, sex is the
propulsion. We can change course, but we can't stop moving -- that
would be nihilism! Let's continue down this road, girlfriend! -- you see,
while race is like an operating system, sex is like the hardware running it.
123
Now, I can run Office on either Mac or Vista, but my Mac can never
become a Vista -- that would be Microhard!

So if you're in a man's body now, you will always be a man -- and if not,
then you're once, twice, three times a lady. But if you want to be Black
like me, go for it! And if I want to attend Der Ring des Nibelungen, so be
it! I won't be ostracized by insecure Blacks who are offended at the sight
of brother who acts too White for them. If Louis Farrakhan can perform
Mendelssohn, why can't we all?

Now that we understand sex and race to be a key component to

intelligent thought, we likewise observe that a "post-racial" or
"colorblind" society is just not possible. That would be a propulsion
without a direction; a computer without an operating system. The only
way we could achieve this would be to force everyone on earth to walk
and talk like a White man. But the more a Black man subjugates his
flesh, the more his flesh comes to the surface! Carlton can't flee from his
West Philly cousin anymore than an Harvard-educated law professor can
separate himself from Reverend Right-on! You can't throw the entire bus
under the bus, negro!

And yet the offense-feigning purveyors of political correctness have

forced us to apologize for our blackness just as quickly as the Whites
have been made to apologize for their whiteness! But you can't brand all
intellectual discussion on race racist with the same branding iron marked
'Nation of Cowards'! That would be a double brandard!

Now why is it that we're systematically eliminating sexual and racial

distinctions from our culture? Sure it's possible to educate the blackness
out of our kids -- I love White culture every bit as much as the next
Episcopalian, so when in Rome do as the Romans do? Well,
congratulations -- I'm Peter the Roman! Thanks! I speak a language that
isn't natural to the shape of my lips and tongue; I wear fashions that
aren't complementary to my physique -- it's no wonder that Blacks and
Jews make such great comedians -- we live in a profoundly absurd
world! -- a world where Black women wear blonde weaves, red lipstick
and blue eye-shadow, and sit around wondering why they can't find a
Black man!

Doubtless, public school integration is integral to our integrity, but it

becomes meaningless if the physical integration is unaccompanied by an
integration of ideas. We're supposed to be a melting pot? -- but Black
124
kids reading White-authored textbooks on White subjects using White-
centric teaching methods is a recipe for a pot that won't melt! Black kids
don't do well in school and those who do wind up adopting all the traits
and self-denying sensibilities of White culture! Meanwhile, my own
brother winds up languishing in remedial limbo and chronic truancy --
eventually dropping out -- and I'm a post-graduate product of a
pedagogy of White-oppression with no idea who the f*ck I am!!

Now let's take a look at how we differ from each other ethnically:

Light:
Ultraviolet blue rays;
Yellow sunlight;
Infrared radiation.

Fire:
The root of the flame is blue;
The middle flame is yellow;
The end of the flame is red.

Cognitive Science:
Blacks think unconsciously;
Asians think consciously;
Whites think self-consciously.

Psychology:
Blacks are spontaneous;
Asians are meticulous;
Whites are deliberate.

Child Psychology:
Black kids are rambunctious;
Asian kids are attentive;
White kids are observant.

Pedagogy:
Black kids learn by hearing;
Asian kids learn by doing;
White kids learn by seeing.

Memorization:
Black kids memorize by repeating it to themselves;
Asian kids memorize by writing it down;
White kids memorize by using flash cards.

Ethnology:
A Black thinks with his mouth;
An Asian thinks with his hands;
A White thinks with his eyes.
125
Anthropology:
African culture is aural;
Asian culture is sensual;
European culture is visual.

Ontology:
I AM A MAN;
Here am I;
I think therefore I am.

Economics:
Blacks are giving;
Asians are receiving;
Whites are possessing.

Philosophy:
Blacks are communal.
Asians are mystical.
Whites are individual.

Sociology:
Africa gave us community;
Asia gave us theocracy;
Europe gave us democracy.

Ethics:
Blacks are carefree;
Asians are careful;
Whites are caretakers.

Spirituality:
Blacks are passionate;
Asians are melancholy;
Whites are joyful.

Comparative Religion:
Africa gave us shamanism;
Asia gave us legalism;
Europe gave us gnosticism.

Ecclesiology:
Blacks are prophets;
Asians are scribes;
Whites are administrators.

Business:
Blacks are representatives;
Asians are manufacturers;
Whites are managers.
126
Methodology:
Blacks are aggressive;
Asians are submissive;
Whites are comprehensive.

Criminology:
Blacks commit impulsive crimes;
Asians commit "honor" crimes;
Whites commit premeditated crimes.

Military History:
Blacks take the initiative;
Asians are obedient;
Whites are strategic.

Art History:
Music comes from Africa;
Dance comes from Asia;
Painting comes from Europe.

Oratory:
Black people speak the way they sing;
Asians speak the way they move;
Whites speak the way they write.

Music:
Rhythm comes from Africa;
Melody comes from Asia;
Harmony comes from Europe.

Dance:
Africa gave us tap;
Asia gave us Tai Chi;
Europe gave us ballet.

Painting:
Africa gave us pattern;
Asia gave us texture;
Europe gave us form.

Style:
Africa gave us expressionism;
Asia gave us impressionism;
Europe gave us surrealism.

Performance:
Africa gave us improvisation;
Asia gave us recitation;
Europe gave us composition.
127
Production:
Blacks were born in a studio;
Asians were born on stage;
Whites were born in a director's chair.

Religious Conversion:
Blacks come to Jesus;
Asians receive Jesus;
Whites know Jesus.

Mysticism:
Blacks perform miracles;
Asians receive miracles;
Whites explain miracles.

Theology:
Blacks gave us revival;
Asians gave us devotion;
Whites gave us doctrine.

Pneumatology:
Blacks speak in tongues;
Asians feel the presence;
Whites have visions.

Femininity:
A Black woman taunts her man;
An Asian woman tempts her man;
A White woman teases her man.

Masculinity:
Blacks make the first move;
Asians call you the next day;
Whites make it official.

African Dream
And Noah begat Ham
And Ham begat Cush
And Cush begat Nimrod, the mighty hunter

Sheba and Dedan; Nubia and Sudan

Put and Ethiopia; Ancient Abyssinia

Ivory and gold; Along the seven rivers sold

128
Baskets carried atop women's heads
Thatch-roofed huts on dried-up river beds
Statured men lacerating antelope-skinned drumheads
to matriarchal rhythms

Oral traditions poured out onto Black mental reservoirs

Young Black minds learning by rote
instead of by wrote

Village-mentality, social-consciousness
Structured around the good of the community
rather than the proprietary rights of the individual

Stiff-haired women rising up to meet their chieftains

Bare-breasted, with broad black hips swaying to the drums, speaking
Mbira, thumbing; Kalimba, slumping strumming rumming

You can have your American dream

But I'll take my *Afreekan Quin!*

Di Cleva Ruse
Di woman frem a'foreign???
((Mi nah know wha'fi she like!))

But dat is alright, my sistah.

Cau' I know mi godda tell wi, "Yuh muss treat oddas as yuhself!"

But dat seh presume she is like wi, ((tu'raatid!))

Suh... wi mek di assumption.

An' wi ackt out dis cleva ruse, mi'dear.

An' we truss it wid our lives...
129

The Coat of Arms of His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI

(featuring a black man with platted hair, red lips and a red crown,
above a seashell, having tamed a wild bear)
130
Edensong
I woke up this morning
with the memory of last night
a night of sweet love-making
and holding you tight

but alas, it was a dream

a beautiful reverie
there's no way in hell
that our love could ever be

'til I felt the sheets rustle

and turned to my side
to find the pure woman
adorned as a bride

when I realized
that this was no illusion
I felt as though paralyzed
by the glorious confusion

of the dreamer awakened

to a true fantasy
making love to the womb
that gave birth to thee...

I made love to you

Before the foundation of the earth

My primordial arms outstretched

Precognitive tongue praising Shekhinah
As you awoke in coitus with me
And I in thee
131
My eyes framed your breasts (as they tamed my eyes), staining your
breasts (straining my eyes), blessed

Preexistent paps
Jostling and gyrating in an elemental miasmic
As my penile protrusion prodded the involuntary tectonic
Machina precluded by an Ex inexorable Deus desire

With every salvific salvo

Your undulated thighs recoiled by deep pubescent pulsations
Chastening your nigritic synergesis
As WE achieved ever-higher viscosities of biosyncretic mimesis

That was when I fellt you

Gently D-cupping my excavated rib cage
Infuriating my infernal rage against the vaginal constriction
That lovingly stymied my biometric ambition
On the verge of the urge to converge
You and me, we merge into one becoming
WE

California Screamin'
Way out west (in a state so blue, it shows up on most maps as part of the
Pacific!), is a city I like to call Lost Angeles.

So-named for its desirable weather, Lost Angeles has quickly blossomed
into an entertainment mecca. But whether you've come here to see the
Hollywood Walk of Fame or perhaps add your own star to it, there are a
few rules which, if observed, will help you to get the most out of your
LADOT transit pass.

For instance, when dining on the Sunset Strip, understand that there are
different kinds of water, none of them under $5 (gratuity included!)
Also, if you're Black and shopping on Rodeo Drive, don't forget to bring
a scarf or a muffler (due, of course, to the draft of the security guard
breathing down your neck!) -- and by the way, a scarf is just about all
you can afford on Rodeo!
132
If you're in West Hollywood and you decide to go to a nightclub, don't be
surprised when your bartender is a 'buff' topless adonis with blonde
highlights. There are many gay nightclubs in LA, and the majority of the
people in them are heterosexual. But when I see a dude dressed like Cher
asking me if I believe in life after love, it makes wonder if I can turn
back time!

There are many great beaches in LA, from Venice Beach to the Santa
Monica Pier. However, due to the ice-cold water, you may find your
swimsuit to be decidedly less utilitarian and perhaps more aesthetic than
you might have hoped. This, of course, is the reason why Malibu surfers
wear full-bodied wetsuits; but if you still feel ready to catch a 'gnarly'
wave and 'hang ten', then what more can I say?: horizontal fin = dolphin;
vertical fin = shark!

There are three things you need if you want to survive in LA: a car, an
agent, and a pair of chopsticks! Of course, LA is known for its
multiculturalism, whether it be Asian or Hispanic (and if you put 'em
together, you have a Pilipino!), and then there are the West-coast Blacks
-- Westside!!!

Blacks, in particular, tend to live mostly in the neighborhoods of

Inglewood, Compton and Watts -- but if you're not sure whether or not
you're in a Black neighborhood, ask a cop -- they're parked on every
corner! -- and if you're still not sure, ask the pizza place whether or not
they deliver there! West-coast Blacks like to wear bandanas and do-rags
(which unfortunately are more utilitarian than they are aesthetic), but if
you want any more proof of the Holy Ghost Resurrection power, it
doesn't get any better than a Black LA church (with people getting saved
and healed!; 80-year-old women dancing in the aisles like teenagers! --
the more riotous the church, the less riotous the streets!)

Sometimes, Black people come across as being terse (even rude!), but
that's all part of the charm; you see, there's only two kinds of people
that'll ever tell you the truth to your face: kids and Black folk! But
oftentimes, our abruptness belies our uncanny ability to say something
without saying it! It is easy to hang a Black man on his words because
the pacing and tenor of his speech is where the true meaning lies, so don't
get all bent out of shape when you hear a Black pastor utter God Damn
Amerik.k.k.a in a decontextualized snippet, or a woman who is proud of
her country for the first time! It's a dramatic device -- deal with it!
133
Now while Blacks tend to live in South Central, the Mexicans mostly
live in the barrios of East LA, where it isn't uncommon to find a Rosary
hanging from a gang-tattooed neck! However, while all Mexicans are not
the same, the one thing they all seem to have in common is a 'Mayan
calendar' wall-clock, a beaded car-seat cover, and a grandmother from
Nicaragua!

In San Bernardino, the visages of Chicano culture can readily be seen in

the Mexican flags etched onto rear-windshields of low-riding pickups
and tacked to the ventanas of linoleum-tiled kitchens. On the corner, you
are likely to see some enterprising vatos with money-belts selling
churros and hot tamales from the trunks of their El Caminos.

Every gringo knows that if you need help moving or lifting something,
there are Mexican day-laborers standing in the parking lot of any Home
Depot, but when limousine liberals in their Spanish-tiled Beverly Hills
'haciendas' sip their pinot grigioes out of gold-trimmed glasses while
listening to Santana beneath a wall-mounted Tijuana Sombrero,
remember the Mexican farm-workers hunched over the vineyards of
Sonoma, the sweat of their sun-burnt foreheads baptizing the grapes of
wrath that never seem to fill their straw-thatched baskets!

In addition to the Mexicans and Blacks, LA is also the home of 'drive-

thru' sushi, 'all-u-can-eat' dim sum, and is perhaps the only place in
America where you can get seaweed as a pizza topping! Of course, it is a
foregone conclusion that the Asians are smarter and more efficient than
us, and that it is only a matter of time before they take over the universe;
but if a Japanese ever became president, perhaps the only difference
would be that instead of a 'chicken in every pot,' we'd have a 'duck in
every wok'!

The 'unofficial' beer of the 'People's Republic of Santa Monica' is Asahi

(especially when it comes with a styrofoam bowl of vegetable teriyaki
and a side of miso soup to go!) But if an Asian girl starts to take off her
shoes upon entering your apartment, don't get too excited -- it's a well-
established Asian tradition not to wear shoes indoors!

Finally, LA is known for its 'laid back' attitude. After all, they did name
their airport 'lax'! But before you invest in sunglasses, electrolysis and
maps to the stars' homes, remember that there are no small parts, only
small actors -- except for the nude scenes of course!
134

Tinsel Town
Somewhere over the rainbow,
On the same lot where they filmed Rambo,
You might find a cowardly lion,
Did I say cowardly lion? or lying coward?
Acting like a tin man, a thin man, a tiny man living in Tinsel Town?
Did I say man? I meant nam.
But what's in a nam?
Maybe it was a man
who got his PhD in order to get out of having to serve in 'Nam.
And what about the scarecrow?
Did I say scarecrow? or workscared?
Cuz he's scared to work
Yup, so he acts like a munchkin
waiting for some dorothy to show'im around
But I guess that's how it is in Tinsel Town.

Asian Persuasion
Sushi and Sashimi
(In a Mitsubishi)
Riding Through the city
Wearing Hello Kitty
Listening to Zen
On a shamisen
Waiting for Miyako
"Domo Arigato"
Reading Hentai comics
Eating rice with chopsticks
"Find a western man"
"Marry if you can"
Have another sake?
(After Karaoke)
What brings you to Asia?
Wanna f*ck a geisha?
Trading on the Nikkei?
Searching for a sensei?
135
Origami swan
(Sony flat-screen on!)
Solving a Sudoku
Slicing up some tofu
With a Ginsu knife
Here's your Asian wife!!

Jobama
In Hollywood, when two famous people are romantically linked, they
oftentimes receive a combination-name (or portmanteau) such as TomKat
or Brangelina. Most recently, this device has been used to link Barack
Obama with his running mate Joe Biden. But Jobama may have a deeper
significance when the now President-elect is compared to the namesake
of all Josephs, that is, Joe the Hebrew!:

(Ps 105:17-22) He sent a man before them, even Joseph, who was sold for a
servant: 18Whose feet they hurt with fetters: he was laid in iron: 19Until the
time that his word came: the word of the Lord tried him. 20The king sent and
loosed him; even the ruler of the people, and let him go free. 21 He made him
lord of his house, and ruler of all his substance: 22To bind his princes at his
pleasure; and teach his senators wisdom.

Whether it was Obama's selection of Joe Biden, Palin's appeal to Joe Six-
pack, or the Republican everyman Joe the Plumber, the national zeitgeist
during the 2008 presidential election seemed to be whispering, Joe...
Joe...

Of course, Psalm 105 alludes to the liberated slave and ethnic minority
Joseph whose meteoric ascendancy to the Egyptian prime ministry rivals
that of our own first Black president. Surely, the comparison is uncanny,
and yet if we read more deeply into the life and times of Joe the Hebrew,
we are confronted with even more uncanny parallels!
136
For instance, Jobama is seen as a redemptive figure whose popularity
helps to unite the country, improve the social-standing of Blacks, and
mollify White guilt; similarly, Joe the Hebrew took away Rachel's
reproach:
(Gen 30:22-24) And God remembered Rachel, and God hearkened to her, and
opened her womb. 23And she conceived, and bare a son; and said, God hath
taken away my reproach: 24And she called his name Joseph;

Jobama was also seen as a post-racial candidate with a colorful

background; similarly, Joe the Hebrew had a coat of many colors:
(Gen 37:3) Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was
the son of his old age: and he made him a coat of many colours.

Jobama was seen as the fulfillment of Dr. King's dream, for which he
was resented by some of his political rivals; similarly, Joe the Hebrew
was hated for his dream:
(Gen 37:5) And Joseph dreamed a dream, and he told it his brethren: and they
hated him yet the more.

Jobama was attacked by the Religious Right and likened to the beast of
the antichrist in the fundamentalist media; similarly, the brothers of Joe
the Hebrew tried to implicate him with a beast:

(Ge 37:19-20) And they said one to another, Behold, this dreamer cometh.
20Come now therefore, and let us slay him, and cast him into some pit, and we
will say, Some evil beast hath devoured him: and we shall see what will
become of his dreams.

The notion that Jobama was an Arab was used by some as a cover for
their ethnic hatred; similarly, the brothers of Joe the Hebrew sold him to
the Arabs in order to remove their own culpability:

(Gen 37:27) Come, and let us sell him to the Ishmeelites, and let not our hand
be upon him; for he is our brother and our flesh. And his brethren were content.

A former president's wife made Jobama an offer to run with her as her
VP:

(Gen 39:7) And it came to pass after these things, that his master's wife cast
her eyes upon Joseph; and she said, Lie with me.
137
Jobama helped Blacks to move beyond slavery and Jim Crow; similarly,
the children of Joe the Hebrew helped him forget all his toil and
affliction:

(Ge 41:51-52) And Joseph called the name of the firstborn Manasseh: For God,
said he, hath made me forget all my toil, and all my father's house. 52And the
name of the second called he Ephraim: For God hath caused me to be fruitful in
the land of my affliction.

Jobama assuaged negative stereotypes (and surprised many in his own

party) with his well-spoken demeanor and intellectual prowess:

(Gen 41:38-39) And Pharaoh said unto his servants, Can we find such a one as
this is, 39Forasmuch as God hath shewed thee all this, there is none so discreet
and wise as thou art:

Jobama warned of a bad economy and what appeared to be an imminent

worldwide depression:

(Gen 41:54) And the seven years of dearth began to come, according as Joseph
had said: and the dearth was in all lands;

Jobama is now angling congress to release TARP funds for his economic
relief package; similarly, Joe the Hebrew opened the storehouses of
Egypt to provide famine relief:

(Gen 41:55-56) And when all the land of Egypt was famished, the people cried
to Pharaoh for bread: and Pharaoh said unto all the Egyptians, Go unto Joseph;
what he saith to you, do. 56And the famine was over all the face of the earth:
and Joseph opened all the storehouses, and sold unto the Egyptians; and the
famine waxed sore in the land of Egypt.

Jobama had to disassociate himself from his brethren for political

purposes, and was even accused of "talking down" to black people:

(Ge 42:7-8) And Joseph saw his brethren, and he knew them, but made himself
strange unto them, and spake roughly unto them; and he said unto them,
Whence come ye? 8And Joseph knew his brethren, but they knew not him.

Jobama supported a government buyout of private banking firms during

the market meltdown; similarly, Joe the Hebrew used treasury funds to
purchase privately owned land during the famine:

(Ge 47:20) And Joseph bought all the land of Egypt for Pharaoh; for the
Egyptians sold every man his field, because the famine prevailed over them: so
the land became Pharaoh's.
138
Jobama plans to make jobs a priority during his administration;
similarly, Joe the Hebrew instituted his own jobs stimulus:

(Gen 47:23) Then Joseph said unto the people, Behold, I have bought you this
day and your land for Pharaoh: lo, here is seed for you, and ye shall sow the
land.

Jobama plans to raise the capital gains tax rate to 20%; similarly, Joe the
Hebrew levied his own 20% tax:

(Ge 47:24) And it shall come to pass in the increase, that ye shall give the fifth
part unto Pharaoh, and four parts shall be your own, for seed of the field, and
for your food, and for them of your households, and for food for your little
ones.

As you can see, there are many parallels between Joe the Hebrew and
our current leadership. But perhaps the greatest impact our new president
will make is the new precedent he set as to who can attain to the highest
office. What a powerful symbol it is to the rest of the world (and to every
society gripped by sectarian violence and intergenerational ethnic
rivalries) that such a reconciliation can occur in so great a nation:

(Gen 50:14-20) And Joseph returned into Egypt, he, and his brethren, and all
that went up with him to bury his father, after he had buried his father. 15And
when Joseph's brethren saw that their father was dead, they said, Joseph will
peradventure hate us, and will certainly requite us all the evil which we did
unto him. 16And they sent a messenger unto Joseph, saying, Thy father did
command before he died, saying, 17So shall ye say unto Joseph, Forgive, I pray
thee now, the trespass of thy brethren, and their sin; for they did unto thee evil:
and now, we pray thee, forgive the trespass of the servants of the God of thy
father. And Joseph wept when they spake unto him. 18And his brethren also
went and fell down before his face; and they said, Behold, we be thy servants.
19And Joseph said unto them, Fear not: for am I in the place of God? 20But as
for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to
pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.

The FOX and the Wolf

The FOX scoffs
The Wolf flows
And where it stops
Nobody knows
139
I saw a FOX
In my idiot box
He mocks and balks
Barack's talks
Like a rightwing coup of chicken hawks
Or a fox guarding the wall-street stocks
He uses moral stumbling blocks
To treat his workers like Adam's off ox

But the Wolf, he flows

Because he knows
As society grows
New issues, they arose
Like women's woes
And religious foes
Trying to close
The closet on those
Who chose to expose
Their sexual peccadilloes
As if this emperor ever had any clothes!

And where it stops

Nobody knows
The FOX scoffs
The Wolf, he flows...

I move at the speed of light

Visual stimulation all night
Look to me and forget your plight

I want to be controlled be you

But if you don't know what's good for you
I just might control you too

Some people talk back to me

But I don't hear them, naturally
Though in the Spirit, we agree

Because I speak not of my own

But that which I hear, will I make known
(Perhaps, if you are spiritually prone...)
140

Responsibility
Responsibility -- but what does it mean?
Turning from sin and coming clean
Forget the old white dude on the cloud up above
The greatest religion is when you believe in His love

But then there are those who bow down to themselves

Worshipping idols displayed on their shelves
Like the old saying goes, 'What you see is what you get'
But when you get what you paid for, it don't resurrect

Like a guilty man running when nobody's lookin'

Or a repeat offender that no D.A.'s bookin'
If you can't stand the heat, then get out of my cookin'
Cuz it's n*ggas like you dat turned Brooklyn into Crooklyn

Cuz just cuz you have kids, doesn't make you a dad
And saying 'I love you' when you don't is just sad
And just cuz you're legal, don't make you mature
But having a conscience will always endure

The Original Bail-out

The original bail-out was when they took our ancestors and...

Slaved them to the cotton bails

Made them say their Christian names
Yoked them with mercantile chains
Took their husband's wives away
Smote their souls with Hamites' blame
Mocked them on a Minstrel's stage
Strung them up on branches slain
Taught them that to die was gain
141
Worked them for subsistence pay
Crushed them with eugenic claims
Forced them onto crack cocaine
Rewrote laws to fill their jails
With African-American males
Evidence weighed on economic scales

On a chain gang striking nails

All along the Tennessee rails
All aboard the devil's trains
Killing all who dared complain
Just to hear their descendants say
'What's this got to do with us today?'

AMERIK.K.K.A'S 1ST BAIL-OUT PLAN

"You better 'bail out' that cotton, boy!"

Clearly, we have lost our way...

Dr. Feelgood
Dr. Feelgood ain't nothin' but a college-educated, lab-coat-wearing,
straight-up pusher. He moonlights as a mental health professional, but
once he's got you stretched out on that plush leather couch, my man will
offer you pills for your mental ills (but it's gonna' cost ya' a lot o'bills).
Now pimp this...
142
There are two 20th century ideologies that took their cue from pagan
mysticism and esoteric philosophy: Nazism and Psychoanalysis. But
what else do these two ideologies have in common? -- and remember,
don't talk to me, talk to the puppet!

Psychoanalysis has nothing to do with mental health, it is (from its

inception) a therapeutic technique. But of course, we wouldn't base civic
laws and theological principles on a "technique," would we? That would
be crazy!

And what is crazy? In the Book of Acts, Peter and the apostles were
branded crazy for speaking in tongues (Acts 2:15; 1 Cor 14:23); David
was dancing naked in the temple (2 Sam 6:20) and foaming at the mouth
in the Philistine court (1 Sam 21:13). Were they crazy? Am I crazy
because the Spirit of God moves my body and inspires me to speak in
tongues? Was Nostradamus crazy when he penned the following?:

Le penultiesme du surnom du prophete The penultimate letter of the prophet's surname

Prendra Diane pour son jour et repos: Will take Diane for its day of rest:
Loing vaguer par frenetique teste He will wander far in his madness,
Et deliverant un grand people d'impos. Delivering a great nation from subjection.
(II.28 - original) (II.28 - English translation)

If the majority of the people in this world are at some level insane, then
wouldn't it stand to reason that the people who this world brands as crazy
are actually the sane ones? And yet we see our mental health facilities
filled with priests and prophets, visionaries and demoniacs in need of
exorcism. We don't need Dr. Feelgood, we need Dr. Realgood! But to all
my brutha's getting stuck with needles and electrically shocked for
preaching the gospel, keep tight and know that the day is coming -- and
already is! -- when we're all gonna' fly this cuckoo's nest (and when they
ask why you stopped taking your meds, tell 'em to ask the goddamn pill!):

Why is it that when we talk to God, we're said to be praying; but when God
talks to us, we're schizophrenic?
(Lily Tomlin)

Science is a method; Psychoanalysis is a technique. We cannot base our

laws on a method or a technique. If our laws are based on methods and
techniques, then they shall be at their whim. That would be fine except
for one thing -- we are at the whim of the law! If the law is at the whim
of Psychology (and we are at the whim of the law), then we are at the
whim of Psychology. But the law says that it is illegal to conduct
143
psychological experimentation on human subjects without their consent.
Therefore, it is illegal to base our laws on Science or Psychology unless
we sign a consent form. That would be democracy! But the rule of the
majority can oppress the minority, which is why we need the courts to
intervene. That would be a courtocracy!

Now let's do a little word association. I'll say a word and you tell me the
first thought that comes to your mind:

• Patriot

• Traitor

• Freedom

• Shackles

• Democracy

• Tyranny

• Equality

• Relativity

• Self-evident truths

• Consenting adults

• Give me liberty!

• Give me death!

If the patriots walked into today's High Court, they would be hauled
away in plastic handcuffs for daring to believe in eternal, unchanging and
self-evident values and moral imperatives! They would be mocked in our
media and derided in our Universities! -- and aren't they already! We
have replaced self-evident truths with psycho-scientific theories;
ideology with methodology! The center cannot hold! Our forefathers'
blood cries out from the ground -- how long will this courtocratic
tyranny subvert the will of the people and the Spirit of Liberty who gave
it?

Where is the God of New England? -- the Spirit of '76? The Sons of
Liberty staring down impending British warships? And what do we see
on our horizon? A ghastly culture of death ruled by a judicial tyranny,
144
having once cast off the British yoke only to exchange His Majesty for
His Magistrate!:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they
are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these
are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights,
Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the
consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes
destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it,
and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and
organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect
their Safety and Happiness.

But what of minority rights? How can we guarantee that minorities won't
be oppressed by the tyranny of the majority? By basing our laws on
inalienable rights that cannot be impeached by any future government!
That would require and infallible constitution, but the U.S. Constitution
is not, nor does it say it is, an infallible document. On the contrary, it is a
living document subject to amendment, revision and interpretation.
Hence, the dirty job of safeguarding the rights of minorities falls upon
the courts! That would be a courtocracy!

And what has the Court gotten us!? What EVER has the Court given
us!?:

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the
public good.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly

firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province,

establishing therein an Arbitrary government,

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering
fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with
power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to

bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose
known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and
conditions.

But if we replace the Bill of Rights with the Ten Commandments of

Moses, we would have the tyranny of the Law! So let's add the gospel,
145
what then? Wouldn't we still need an interpreter? Some 'liberal'
theologians say that Paul was gay because he was unmarried -- not to
mention thigh-swearing, male-kissing, nude-fishing, bed-sharing and a
whole host of other first century scenes that the morally bereft can
willfully misconstrue. When David tells Jonathon, "thy love to me was
wonderful, passing the love of women" (2 Sam 1:26), we understand the
difference between altruistic love and sexual desire, but this is not
evident to the people who watch Will and Grace but have neither!

This dilemma is further exasperated the fact that, next to Christ, all
people were at one time faithless -- which is why we need laws in the first
place, remember? And because the letter of the law can be
misinterpreted (intentionally or otherwise), the Supreme Interpreter of
that infallible constitution must himself be infallible (a vicarious criste!)
That would be a papacy! (And whatever you may think of Roman
Catholicism, it is after all the longest continuously-running institution in
human history!)

So now we stand at a crossroads! Are we going to accept Reality or

Relativity?: Universal Truth, or Private Interpretation? The Glory of God
LORD Shekhinah will not be overruled by this despotic Supreme Court!:

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most
humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated
injury.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General

Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the
rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good
People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united
Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States.

But I've got a better idea! Let's base our laws on science and psychology!
Now, we's in the Park Avenue office suite of my main man Dr. Feelgood!
-- and if it FEEL good, it BE good, you dig?

Dr. Feelgood gots to have a clock mounted behind yo' chair so he can
check the time without you seeing. Hey man, it's just a jobby-job!

Dr. Feelgood gots his medical degree certificate mounted on his wall.
Oooh -- he's so smart! I'll bet he can tell me about my Oedipal rage, anal
fixation, collective conscience, repression and denial, he's got me all
figured out!
146
Dr. Feelgood thinks that one-in-ten people are gay. Hey, be honest --
aren't we all a little gay? It's a sliding scale -- a spectrum!

Or better yet, while the good doctor practices the smile they taught him
in grad school (with the teeth they bought him in grade school!), let's
have a 'look-see' at what psychiatry really is!:

Once upon a time (the Victorian era to be exact), homosexuality was

diagnosed as narcissism (so-named for the Greek God Narcissus who fell
in love with his own reflection). However, Sigmund Freud (also known
as 'Sickman's Fraud'!) overthrew the Victorian model of psychology as a
true investigation of the human mind and replaced it with the
pseudoscientific discipline of psychoanalysis which, from its inception
was never designed, promoted or intended to be any kind of
cosmological understanding of human consciousness, but was instead
marketed solely as a therapeutic technique premised on returning the
individual to a semblance of social function. It was, after all, a treatment;
not a cure (and part and parcel of that "treatment" was the conscious
abuse of mental patients through the APA approved methods of
deception, mind-bending hypnosis, the use of placebos, threats,
involuntary detention, electric shock, psychosurgery, harmful
medications -- not to mention the unapproved techniques that the APA
turns a blind eye to!) Meanwhile, the most impressionable of our society
are being victimized bimonthly (except on holidays) by sheisty shrinks
that would employ every manipulative technique of suggestion in order
to light fires of the heart only to put them out and call it progress! In my
DSM book, that would called 'pyromania'!

Psychology (which is heavily influenced by psychoanalytic technique) is

a mandatory core subject taught at all colleges and universities in the
United States. Everyone (me included!) who has any kind of liberal arts
degree in any field is acquainted with its core tenets and what's more,
anyone who has a K-12 teaching degree must also have a passing grade
in Psychology or they don't graduate. Many school districts require
additional accreditation and training in Psychology -- never mind the fact
that psychology is not a true science nor claims to be. Nope, we're just
gonna' send legions of schoolteachers into overcrowded classrooms with
oral-fixations on their penis-envy.

Now, I used to teach elementary school and it's real freaking simple -- if
the kid tries to put a square peg in a round hole, keep 'em back a year!
147
But now we're giving marriage certificates and adoption rights to people
who wouldn't even make it out of goddamn kindergarten!

But the entire Universe is heterosexual from plankton to people! When

did we stop helping these people return to the natural state? Perhaps it
was when psychiatry decided to treat the symptom instead of the cause!
And are the symptoms? The extreme sadness and profound anxiety of
having lived in a Universe that frustrates them and a culture that rejects
them? We could, of course, empower them to change their rebellious
thought patterns through intense psychotherapy. That would be treating
the cause. But instead, we try to change the culture so that homosexuality
becomes socially acceptable. That would be treating the symptom!
Treating the symptom doesn't work because even if the culture permits
homosexuality, the very fabric of the Universe continually rejects it,
from protozoa to people!

So let's go on a gay scavenger hunt for every 'gay' monkey and egg-
incubating male penguin in order to recreate a gay Universe! But while
we may observe two male monkeys playing with (and perhaps grooming)
each other, we have yet to see a male monkey climax sexually in the ass
of another monkey -- I guess they're too evolved! You can call Pastor
Rick Warren a homophobe if you like, but he's got a chimp for a
publicist! You can stare down the Holy Father (and every other major
belief system!), but you can't stare down the fish in the sea -- they've got
no eyelids! Neither can you play a game of chicken with an actual
chicken! The fabric of the Universe protests vehemently against
homosexuality no matter how much society condones it! Not even the
LORD God herself is capable of undoing the things which are absolutely
necessary to facilitate life! But if you rebel against Lord of the Flies, then
it is nature (and not God) who is the dispenser of natural recompense!:

(2 Pet 2:11-12) Whereas angels, which are greater in power and might, bring
not railing accusation against them before the Lord. 12But these, as natural
brute beasts, made to be taken and destroyed, speak evil of the things that they
understand not; and shall utterly perish in their own corruption;

Remarkably, the Torah seems to agree on a variety of levels with both

nature and society (which is why I subscribe to it), but even in the
absence of any book, creed or dogma, we have it by the sheer authority
of natural revelation that homosexuality is contrary to life, joy, health
and well-being. It is a form of suffering and telling people that they are
right to engage in it does them no service. Sometimes, 'love' means
telling people 'No!'
148
But I've got a better idea! Instead of inspiring people to break free from
the motions of sin, why don't we tell them that brain chemistry is
dictating their thoughts! That is what the homo-fascists want us to
believe -- and herein lies the problem: You can't have 'gay liberation'
premised on a denial of free will? What if my brain chemistry tells me to
bust your nuts? Where's my parade? If chemicals control people, then
Christians are under the God chemical, in which case we will have
chemical warfare in a universe devoid of free will... I wonder who will
prevail in that contest? But if you are indeed under the tyrannical control
of your physiology, then why would you want gay marriage at all? Does
not the same consciousness which cries out for social justice transcend
the very flesh that you blame for your sexual proclivities?

Marriage is not a human right; it is a human choice and is so by

definition! You can sing "blame it on the brain" all you want, but you
would have to lip-sync it because you're not your brain, are you? You
are a spirit; you have a soul! You transcend your brain chemistry! You
transcend death and hell!

Or... you could just get a little crazy with my number one 'sexy ho' with
the Lexapro, sista' psychiatry. Depressed? She's got the dope to make
you hope! -- and even though she may have graduated from Wassamatta
U (magna 'cum loudly'), let's not forget about her sweet sexy sibling
psychology who looks just like her 'cept she's got a Ph.D (also known as
a Pretty Hard Dick -- opps!) Now try not to forget about them hormone
treatments, She-Ra: Princess of Power! Or better yet, why don't you git'
comf'terble on my li'l plush couch? 'Cuz it's time for anotha' jive-talkin'
session with -- you got it! -- Dr. Feelgood!: Remember me??? I'm the
man of tha hour -- two if you can afford it! -- and a brutha' like no utha'
who's a bad mutha- [shut-yo'-mouth!!]:

Dr. Feelgood has no absolute definition for what exactly constitutes

mental illness. It's all good! Hey, everybody's a little crazy -- right?

Dr. Feelgood is concerned with getting your butt back to work, not with
healing your mind. I'm okay -- you're okay! Time's up, see you next week!

Dr. Feelgood doesn't want to hear your problems. Instead, he runs down
a checklist of neuroses in order to figure out which drug to prescribe. If
you go off-script, he will use mind games to get you back on it. Hey, I'm
your best friend! But I can't help you if you don't answer these questions!
149
Don't you wanna' get better? You're gonna' have to trust someone
sometime!

Dr. Feelgood receives kickbacks from pharmaceutical companies when

they prescribe that company's medication. What's more, these same
companies use cunning marketing and televised ad campaigns in order to
convince people that they are crazy just so they can cure them. Feeling
not-yourself lately? Life's got you down? Can't seem to find your stride?
Didn't know you had one? Maybe I can do it for ya' -- and my little pink
pills! (psst! Pfizer! Hey -- thanks for the kickback, brutha'! -- and thanks
for not marketing any drugs to cure hypochondria and Munchausen's
syndrome!)

Dr. Feelgood gets 'em young! School psychologists identify problem

kids (usually minorities!) and slate them for Shitalin™ instead of dealing
with the underlying causes of the child's misbehavior. Git yo' brat kid
out' my class and don't let 'em back in 'til they's all mellowed out, sucka'!

Dr. Feelgood prescribes head-meds that have powerful side-effects like:

weight-gain, sexual dysfunction, loss of appetite, blurred vision -- hey,
I'm not legally obligated to tell you that you may become addicted!
Thoughts of suicide? Opps!

Dr. Feelgood believes that all insanity is traced back to the terror of
death. But instead of repenting to the God of life, he's going to try to get
you to accept your death as a passage to ultimate self-fulfillment. But
this 'death-acceptance' is as fallacious as it is feckless; and those who
attempt it will inevitably be crushed by the weight of its absurdity:

(Is 28:18-20) And your covenant with death shall be disannulled, and your
agreement with hell shall not stand; when the overflowing scourge shall pass
through, then ye shall be trodden down by it. 19From the time that it goeth
forth it shall take you: for morning by morning shall it pass over, by day and by
night: and it shall be a vexation only to understand the report. 20For the bed is
shorter than that a man can stretch himself on it: and the covering narrower
than that he can wrap himself in it.

So do you still want to talk to the good doctor? 'Cause if you do, then Dr.
Feelgood's got the prescription for your conniption already filled, sugar-
pill! But as for me and my house, I shall exit the ward I can't afford and
worship the LORD -- Amen? So the next time Dr. Feelgood comes
'round trying to pilfer you with a pill for you, tell him that you just had a
150
breakthrough (and if he asks what happened, tell him it's yo' mutha's
fault, sucka'!

Why'm I Angry?!
Why'm I angry?!
Why're you crying!
Tissues flying!
Weeping, sighing
Gave up on trying
d
y
i
n
g
To find the source of these raging emotions
With neurological potions
And psychiatric notions
Becoming legislative motions
To end Catholic devotions
No, I just can't explain
Why I just can't contain
This lyrical pain
That emits from my brain
Like I'm going insane
Unable to complain
About the way
In which I stay
Above the fray
'Oh yeah -- we say
You got to pray
Just to make it today'
With my new jack sway
Like I's Kid 'n Play
Or a spiritual deejay
That you don't even have to pay...
'Cuz dis type of sh*t happens every day!'
151
Insane in the Membrane
Not just the Blacks, but all segments of society benefit from minority
rights. But if the tyranny of the majority can only be buffeted by the legal
system, and if the legal system is premised on psychiatric methodology,
then you might as well get Houston on the line because we have a
problem! Law is not a technique; it is a belief system premised on some
notion of ultimate reality and higher truth. Otherwise, you will have
lawlessness (which is bad for minorities as well as the majority). But the
angelic soldiers of the continental army would rather that we pursue
happiness and the cause of liberty, which both God promised and their
hallowed blood procured.

We were slaves to King George and King Cotton; will we now shirk our
duty to our fathers and shrink from history, permitting ourselves to once
again become ensnared by the yoke of science and the noose of
psychiatry?

How can we fight Islamo-fascists abroad when we've got homo-fascists

at home? How can we talk about 'freedom on the march' when we've got
nihilism on the prowl? But the homo-terrorists have hijacked the
definition of liberty and flown it into the twin towers of nihilism and
death!

And what is the difference between freedom and nihilism? Choice!

Freedom makes a choice; Nihilism denies choice. To the extent that both
oppose authority, both are libertine to some extent, but the similarity
ends whereas freedom embraces a higher authority whilst nihilism
abdicates the very notion of authority, including its own!

We don't have to reexamine the Book of Judges to see that where

sodomy pervades, enemies invade (1 Kng 14:24-25)! Our enemies know
who they are! They're not questioning themselves! They've got no fear in
their hearts and no doubt in their minds! But wherever a house is divided,
it cannot possibly stand against its foes:

I remember when I was with Special Forces. Seems a thousand centuries ago.
We went into a camp to inoculate the children. We left the camp after we had
inoculated the children for Polio, and this old man came running after us and he
was crying. He couldn't see. We went back there and they had come and
hacked off every inoculated arm. There they were in a pile. A pile of little arms.
152
And I remember... I... I... I cried. I wept like some grandmother. I wanted to
tear my teeth out. I didn't know what I wanted to do. And I want to remember
it. I never want to forget it. I never want to forget. And then I realized... like I
was shot... like I was shot with a diamond... a diamond bullet right through my
forehead. And I thought: My God... the genius of that. The genius. The will to
do that. Perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, pure.
And then I realized they were stronger than we. Because they could stand that
these were not monsters. These were men... trained cadres. These men who
fought with their hearts, who had families, who had children, who were filled
with love... but they had the strength... the strength... to do that. If I had ten
divisions of those men our troubles here would be over very quickly.
(Colonel Kurtz, Apocalypse Now)

We can't win this last great global conflict without any sense of who we
are and where we're headed! We've gone from "loose lips sink ships" to
"don't ask don't tell" when instead, we should be utilizing the gospel
message to drive a wedge in their culture!

Shake up the bushes, and the snakes will crawl out! But instead, we are
thrusting ourselves into the bushes blindfolded by political correctness --
and we will continue to stagnate there until we settle our moral debate!

POW*MIA
Fearless soldier, strong and brave
Now it's up to you to save
Uncle Sam is all you have
Buried in an unmarked grave

Fearless soldier, brave and strong

Acting like there's nothing wrong
Maybe if you sing this song
You'll come home before too long

Holding On
One hand extended
Reaching out
To the one I befriended
Before it all ended
153
But on the other hand
I'm holding on
To the edge of the ledge
Of a solemn pledge
To have and to hold
'Til death do us part
And when my blood runs cold
I still will

Hold on

And when I die

They'll have to pry
My lover's sweet melancholy
Sigh
From my cold dead hand
Just the way we'd always planned
So please take a stand and
Don't concede a blood-stained
Inch of Holy Ground
Holding on to the love we've found
Who found us still holding on
To what we've done

Holding one

The NewTen Commandments

(from the APA Ethics Code 2002)

I. The APA Ethics Code is not authoritative:

The Ethics Code is not intended to be a basis of civil liability. Whether a

psychologist has violated the Ethics Code standards does not by itself determine
whether the psychologist is legally liable in a court action, whether a contract is
enforceable, or whether other legal consequences occur.

II. The APA Ethics Code is based on prevailing attitudes and

opinions, not facts, logic or reason (note how the term
reasonable is defined):
154
The modifiers used in some of the standards of this Ethics Code (e.g., reasonably,
appropriate, potentially) are included in the standards when they would guard
against a set of rigid rules that might be quickly outdated. As used in this Ethics
Code, the term reasonable means the prevailing professional judgment of
psychologists engaged in similar activities in similar circumstances, given the
knowledge the psychologist had or should have had at the time.

III. Wheresoever there is conflict between civic laws and APA

standards, thou art permitted (but not obligated) to obey
civic laws:

If this Ethics Code establishes a higher standard of conduct than is required by law,
psychologists must meet the higher ethical standard. If psychologists' ethical
responsibilities conflict with law, regulations, or other governing legal authority,
psychologists make known their commitment to this Ethics Code and take steps to
resolve the conflict in a responsible manner. If the conflict is unresolvable via such
means, psychologists may adhere to the requirements of the law, regulations, or
other governing authority in keeping with basic principles of human rights.

IV. Go and make disciples of the nations:

Psychologists are committed to increasing scientific and professional knowledge of

behavior and people's understanding of themselves and others and to the use of such
knowledge to improve the condition of individuals, organizations, and society.

V. Thou shalt serve the APA in diverse ministrations and shalt

be my witnesses in the court:

They strive to help the public in developing informed judgments and choices
concerning human behavior. In doing so, they perform many roles, such as
researcher, educator, diagnostician, therapist, supervisor, consultant, administrator,
social interventionist, and expert witness.

VI. Let's not let principles get in the way of ethics!:

General Principles, as opposed to Ethical Standards, are aspirational in nature. Their

intent is to guide and inspire psychologists toward the very highest ethical ideals of
the profession. General Principles, in contrast to Ethical Standards, do not represent
obligations and should not form the basis for imposing sanctions.

VII. Thou shalt serve the APA above any other organization or
church:
155
If the demands of an organization with which psychologists are affiliated or for
whom they are working conflict with this Ethics Code, psychologists clarify the
nature of the conflict, make known their commitment to the Ethics Code, and to the
extent feasible, resolve the conflict in a way that permits adherence to the Ethics
Code.

VIII. Thou shalt deceive thy patients:

In situations in which deception may be ethically justifiable to maximize benefits

and minimize harm, psychologists have a serious obligation to consider the need for,
the possible consequences of, and their responsibility to correct any resulting
mistrust or other harmful effects that arise from the use of such techniques.

IX. Thou shalt make life-altering decisions on behalf of persons

or communities who lack the ability to make autonomous
decisions.

Psychologists are aware that special safeguards may be necessary to protect the
rights and welfare of persons or communities whose vulnerabilities impair
autonomous decision making.

X. Thou shalt not have any distinction among races, sexes, ages
or conditions:

Psychologists are aware of and respect cultural, individual, and role differences,
including those based on age, gender, gender identity, race, ethnicity, culture,
national origin, religion, sexual orientation, disability, language, and socioeconomic
status and consider these factors when working with members of such groups.
Psychologists try to eliminate the effect on their work of biases based on those
factors, and they do not knowingly participate in or condone activities of others
based upon such prejudices.

Bad Chemistry
Love is not the opposite of fear, it is its opposition:

(1 John 4:18) There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear:
because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

A phobia is marked by an irrational aversion to something; A

compulsion is marked by an irrational attachment to something; Hence,
the opposite of fear is addiction; and just as a fear can produce a
physiological reaction, so too can an addiction produce chemical
reactions in the brain. And just as you wouldn't give a stage performer a
156
butterfly net for the 'butterflies in his stomach,' neither should you give
addicts chemical inhibiters for their psychic secretions. The absolute
worst thing you could do to a suffering addict is to convince them they
are not in ultimate control of their thoughts and behaviors (in order so
that you can 'cure them' of it!):

Since the pharmaceuticals don't make any money and they control the
doctors. If the doctors don't make any money then all hell breaks loose. In
communities like LA and New York they are using a lot of the youth for a test
sight.
(Afrika Bambaataa)

Surely, you are aware of Pavlov's theory of conditioned response? Feed a

dog while ringing a bell and in a few days, the dogs will salivate at the
mere ringing of the bell? But if Pavlov's conclusions were correct, then it
would be the bell (and not the saliva) that inspires the response. So then
why are we treating the saliva and ignoring the bell? Why are we
inhibiting brain chemistry instead of empowering patients to resist
temptation?

Two words: job security!

There is no such thing as an illegal person or an illegal substance, but the

devil delegitimizes righteous herbs as a means of oppressing the ethnic
minorities who are most likely to use them. But if you put a dog in a pen,
it still salivates; meanwhile, members of the 'legitimate' race are absolved
of their addictions through psychiatric reclassifications of what
constitutes a so-called addiction. And what happens to these ethnic
minorities in the pen? Are they afforded the latest psychotic medications
in order to alleviate the symptoms of their disease?; or does the prison
warden turn a blind eye to inmate drug-abuse?:

POP QUIZ: Why would a prison warden tacitly permit his inmates to
abuse drugs?

a) A prison full of withdrawal sufferers is more than he can handle.

b) A drug-addicted prison population is easier to control (especially since the
threat of isolation means the cutting off of the inmate's drug supply!)
c) The rate of recidivism is so high among drug-users, that the phony war on
the same drugs that the U.S. government created guarantees his job
security.
d) ALL OF THE ABOVE
157
Bonus Question: How is it that we give schools an A-thru-F grade
under "No-Child-Left-Behind," but we don't rate prisons based on how
well they rehabilitate inmates?:
I am a prisoner incarcerated in the Federal Penitentiary in Beaumont, Texas. I
have existed for over 14 years within this microcosm of madness, and as I write
I look at the tall walls and the gun towers positioned for clear shots to take me
and other prisoners out of this existence.
If the world can hear my voice, please forgive me for the iniquities that led
me to this living nightmare. I have personally known men who were murdered,
left to suffer and die from treatable illnesses that prison authorities refused to
treat because to them, prisoners are not even human.
American and world citizens need to be aware that America's prison system
monitors itself, and recognize that we have a crisis because there is no
accountability for abuse. There is a need for reform of the punitive prison
policies which breed lawlessness.
(Donnell Joseph, # 01534-122 US Penitentiary Canaan)

Every Christian is a recovering addict, because the motions of sin are in

us; but if a man repents and society continues to punish him, how much
more difficult it is for him to embrace the motions of grace and liberty! It
is the mandate of the Blessed Virgin Mary that all Christian inmates be
released from detention (contingent upon a 'faith-assessment' by a
member of the clergy) and that the death penalty be abolished!

Chemical Reactions
There are no evil emotions. Jesus was joyful at the return of the seventy
disciples (Luke 10:21); he was livid at King Herod's death threats (Luke
13:31-32), he sweat droplets of blood in Gethsemane (Luke 22:44).
Emotions are good and ought not be suppressed; but if you walk into a
church and everybody's ear-to-ear smiles, you may be in a cult.

Fear is not an emotion; it is the inversion of all emotion. With fear,

righteous joy becomes pride; righteous pathos becomes depression;
righteous rage becomes wrath. Yet we can be angry, sad or cheery in
love -- and should!

It is impossible to be moodless. Mood provides a necessary spiritual

aperture through which reality is perceived. Without mood, you would
not be able to look up a quote on thinkexist.com because you would
neither think nor exist!
158
Just as hunger releases saliva in Pavlov's dogs; emotions release brain
chemicals in us. These chemicals impact physiology and childhood
development. Happy children grow up with a certain look; passionate
children grow into a certain shape; firebrands like myself have a unique
physical appearance. When your mother told you not to frown because
your face would stick that way, she was absolutely right! Homosexual
children also have a distinct physical appearance precisely for this
reason, while adults who 'become' homosexuals post-puberty lack the
appearance.

It is not the saliva making the dog hungry, but rather it is the hunger that
produces the saliva. Likewise, it is not the chemical imbalance that
produces the behavior; but men, choosing a certain direction (perhaps
from infancy!) induce these biological and metabolic changes which
result in an entirely different physical appearance than that which they
otherwise would have had were it not for their precursory choice:

(Ps 51:5,7) Behold, I was shapen in iniquity, and in sin did my mother
conceive me. 7Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall
be whiter than snow.

Walk into any church, and you can tell at a glance who converted before
puberty and who converted after. Now walk into any gay nightclub, and
see if you can tell who is gay from childhood and who just walked in to
use the phone because their car just broke down outside!

Lesbians also have a certain 'butch' appearance commensurate with a

lifetime of sin, but Christian women have a glow and a synergy that
exude more grace than a thousand NIVs:

(Ro 1:26) For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their
women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:

No one disputes that certain hormonal imbalances can be linked to

emotions and behaviors, but where modern psychiatry errs is in its
insistence that biochemistry is the cause (and not the consequent) of
these same emotions and behaviors!:
159
POP QUIZ: Why would psychiatrists blame hunger on saliva?

A. Because blaming ones actions on chemical imbalances absolves (or

perhaps dissolves!) the patient of any sense of guilt or shame associated
with the behavior.

B. If chemical secretions produce thoughts and desires, the only treatment for
insanity would be pharmaceutic (and psychiatric research is bankrolled by
drug companies).

C. All psychiatrists are themselves silent sufferers of their own repressed

need to dominate others, and convincing their patients that they are at the
whim of biochemicals feeds into that deepseated megalomania

D. You guessed it! -- ALL OF THE ABOVE

We are practicing reverse psychiatry!! It is no wonder that our children

have been riddled with Ritalin! Psychiatry, like any other money-making
enterprise, is in the business of selling people things they don't need,
don't want, and didn't ask for! -- and the perpetuation of a paradigm of
helplessness has only served to further aggrandize the Psychological-
Industrial Complex!

But then again, maybe you are just the product of chemical brain
reactions? Maybe you're not ultimately responsible and accountable for
who you are and what you think about? Maybe no one is? -- and so all of
our addictions, compulsions and obsessions are nothing more than
evolutionary buy-products?:

It is the reward pathway that governs our instinctual drives, and when this
pathway malfunctions, any number of instinctual drives may also malfunction.
We now know that this malfunctioning process has been associated not only
with drug addiction, but also food addiction, sex addiction, and a number of
other compulsive disorders including attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder.
Individuals who are predisposed to becoming addicted have been shown to
have a variant gene that causes this reward cascade to malfunction
While it would be absurd to assert that other diseases of the brain such as
schizophrenia or depression are due to weak will or moral character, it is still
the prevailing opinion of many, including healthcare professionals, that drug
addiction is about improper choices rather than improper brain function.
Current scientific evidence has revealed that chemical addiction is a process
that is caused by a malfunctioning cascade of neurotransmitters which is further
exacerbated by drug use.
(APhA 2001 -- American Pharmaceutical Association 148th Annual Meeting:
Therapeutic Updates)
160

This World is Hell!

"This world is hell!"
Can't you tell?
From the sulfuric smell
Of the flaming well
In which Satan fell

As his demons yell

"This world is hell!"
Clear as a bell
For the flawed Intel
On the terrorist cell

In a Jersey motel
As the profits foretell
"This world is hell!"
When the rockets propel
In the streets of Israel

Raining deadly shrapnel

On the graduates of Citadel
Hunted like the infidel
"This world is hell!"
Is the tale we must retell

As the Archangel Gabriel

From his Paradisaic stelle
On the Eve of Noël
Cries out 'Gloria in Excel --
"This world was hell!"

Chemical Solution
Giving an addict psychoactive drugs is like giving a pyromaniac a fire
extinguisher! Giving an addict psychoactive drugs is like giving a
kleptomaniac an expense account! Giving an addict psychoactive drugs
is like giving a nymphomaniac the keys to my apartment! Addicted to
161
nicotine? Here, have a nicorette! Psychiatry has devolved from treating
the root causes of mental illness to managing its symptoms! But you
cannot blame the illness on the symptoms -- that would be diagnosis
murder!

And by the way, kudos to TomKat and Vinnie Barbarino for their gutsy
career-threatening stance against psychoactive medication; and kudos to
the Church of Scientology for their highly successful (and much
maligned) drug treatment program. And yet the Hollywood drug culture
(that claimed the life of Anna Nicole) is not only a threat to the
entertainment industry, but also to national security! A culture premised
on the abdication of liberty to the tyranny of the flesh cannot hope to
prevail in the face of looming threats! We know that the world will test
our metal and we know that weakness invites it! But while Putin and
Ahmadinejad have absolutely no doubt in their minds and no fear in their
hearts, when I looked into Satan's eyes, all I can see is an A, a P and
another A:
Research over several decades has demonstrated that sexual orientation
ranges along a continuum, from exclusive attraction to the other sex to
exclusive attraction to the same sex. Many think that nature and nurture both
play complex roles; most people experience little or no sense of choice about
their sexual orientation.
(APA 2008 -- Answers to your questions: For a better understanding of
sexual orientation and homosexuality)

The shot heard 'round the world had nothing to do with the tenuous
discharge of a forgotten musket ball; it was about Freedom, Liberty, and
Self-determination! But now, the traitors to Democracy have subverted
free will for a Chemical Final Solution! It is an existential threat to
Democracy that we permit psychiatrists to vote and give testimony in
courts! It is the height of hypocrisy that we allow slychiatry to inform are
laws and subvert the popular will! Our last civil war was between the
blue and the grey, will the next one be between the blue and the red? And
yet the Russian seer Igor Panarin has forewarned of the dissolution of
the United States sometime before the next election cycle! When
chemicals dissolve, so goes the nation!; but terrorists (like all bullies)
only pick on the weak!
162
And as for the 'sexual orientation continuum,' it is true that people can
behave more gayly than others, but slychiatrists conflate behavior with
character. There is no continuum between gay and straight because
there is no continuum between man and woman; truth and lie; right and
wrong; life and death! But there is a continuum between dumb and
dumber!

And what about the true faggots that cry, Why would I choose this!
There's no doubt in my mind that they were born that way! The record is
clear that both men and boys were pressed against Lot's door in Sodom
(Gen 19:4-5), but so what! We were all born sinning in one way or
another which is why we all need to get born again! But how can we be
born again if we refuse to confess our sins to a righteous God whose
wrath is just and whose mercy is infinite!

And how can we criticize China for its human rights abuses when we've
got a 'One America Policy' right here! We read in the history books
about bleeding Kansas and we've got Bleeding California right here --
right now! The slave states and the free states are becoming the gay
states and the straight states! What will we do?! What will we do?!

This country's going to be awash with mostly red-state Iraqi war

veterans in the next few months; and the insurgency tactics they've
acquired by the never-say-live Muslims will only be outmatched by the
level of disillusion they'll feel when they find out what's been happening
to this country in their absence!:

In its Resolution on Sexual Orientation and Marriage, the Association

resolved, based on empirical research concerning sexual orientation and
marriage, "That the APA believes that it is unfair and discriminatory to deny
same-sex couples legal access to civil marriage and to all its attendant benefits,
rights, and privileges." And in its Resolution on Sexual Orientation, Parents,
and Children, the Association recognized that "There is no scientific evidence
that parenting effectiveness is related to parental sexual orientation: lesbian and
gay parents are as likely as heterosexual parents to provide supportive and
healthy environments for their children." In both Resolutions the Association
resolved to provide scientific and educational resources, such as this amicus
brief, to inform public discussion and understanding of these issues.
(APA 'amicus' brief cited by the California Supreme Court in their 2008
strike-down of the state's gay marriage ban)

The APA pharmaceutical establishment devil-worshipping cult of non-

determination has infected our courts, our public schools and our media
outlets! We don't have time for a 'time-out'! But just as it was in the days
163
of Noah, so shall it be with this generation if we don't get our house in
order pronto!

Now I'm not Panarin. I don't forecast the dissolution of the United States;
but instead, I forecast a New Resolution: that the U. S. Constitution be
amended to bring the Supreme Court under the auspices of the Roman
Church and that its Pope be granted authority to install and depose its
judges. I also propose a Personal Freedom Amendment, denying and/or
revoking citizenship (and the rights pertaining) to anyone who confesses
that they are not in complete and utter transcendent control of
themselves. It is impossible to impart human rights to the subhuman;
since they cannot control themselves, let them become as slaves to us,
and possessions to dispose of as we will in Jesus' Name:

(Ex 21:2-3; 5-6) If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in
the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. 3If he came in by himself, he shall
go out by himself: 5And if the servant shall plainly say, I love my master, I will
not go out free: 6Then his master shall bring him unto the judges; he shall also
bring him to the door, or unto the door post; and his master shall bore his ear
through with an awl; and he shall serve him for ever.

It is imperative that we pass this resolution as amendments (and not acts)

so that it will be more difficult for the coming apostasy to undo them (for
the end surely won't come before there is a great 'falling away' and the
Christian remnant at that time will need these legal recourses to minister
more effectively to the gospel as well as for their own protection!)

I think we understand what we must do now -- these are rough'n'tumble

times; we've got the weight of the world on our shoulders and we know
that the Promised Land never comes without a fight. But we've got a
righteous wind at our backs and a God who is not indifferent to America!

We are a God-blest nation imbued with the Christian values of liberality

and nonjudgmentalism. But when Christ taught us to turn the other
cheek, he didn't mean for us to look the other way! Not judging others
doesn't mean that we ought not rebuke one another in a love! As the
Evangelicals like to say, Hate the sin; not the sinner!

America no doubt has a destiny -- and God is vested in it! But while I
believe in exceptionalism every bit as much as the next Alaskan (you
betcha'!), we must also remember that the sovereignty of God explicitly
reserves the right to lift that anointing -- just ask Saul! Or better yet, ask
the goddamn chemicals in your brain what they think!
164
Straight people don't belong in strait-jackets! And yet at every turn, we
see a wicked generation beguiled and bamboozled by the murderous
propaganda of a slychiatric führer, consigning truth and justice to the
chemically-induced gas chambers! Like any parasite, they have attached
themselves to all facets of our society in order to gestate and germinate
their faggotry and anti-American anti-Christian freedom-denying
manifesto! This is crunch-time! The APA now stands as the worst threat
to our national security and general welfare of this nation or any other!

In their denial of free will, they have subverted consciousness, perverted

justice, and absconded the will of the people by a relentless onslaught of
(self-admitted) 'deception' and chemical warfare, having expressly
declared their political aims in their own published manuscripts! They
have magnified themselves above any god, having disregarded religion,
faith, choice, human sexuality, family values, natural law -- and have
shrouded themselves in the cloak of Newtonian Mechanistic Science (the
God of forces!) to the end of their own pathological greed!:

(Dan 11:36) and he shall exalt himself, and magnify himself above every god,
and shall speak marvellous things against the God of gods, and shall prosper till
the indignation be accomplished: 37Neither shall he regard the God of his
fathers, nor the desire of women, nor regard any god: for he shall magnify
himself above all. 38But in his estate shall he honour the God of forces: and a
god whom his fathers knew not shall he honour with gold, and silver, and with
precious stones, and pleasant things.

The APA and its collective membership are the beast and the Antichrist!
-- the abomination that maketh desolate! They are traitors to the gospel;
traitors to liberty; traitors to humanity; and traitors to democracy! They
are domestic terrorist non-enemy combatants who have (by their own
declaration!) forfeited their rights as citizens! WE KNOW WHAT WE
DO WITH TRAITORS!!!

The time has come -- and isn't it already?! -- for the people of this great
nation to rise up against APA-approved homo-despotism! Otherwise,
Amerik.k.k.a will slouch toward an evermore pronounced estrangement
from the world (and by 'the world' I mean reality!) and the political
polarity of the nations will shift toward totalitarianism (if only to stave off
encroaching American nihilism!)
165
We're creating a new 'powder keg' wherein radical regimes will
proliferate almost as fast as their nuclear stockpiles. But as the
mushroom-shaped war clouds gather, the Amerik.k.k.an people will
remain bitterly divided, riotous, irresolute, helplessly (and haplessly)
mired in crushing debt and sky-rocketing inflation; productivity is
hampered by the social side-effects of psychoactive habit-forming
prescription medications which impair both thought and physiological
development. Meanwhile, our enemies are kneeling to Mecca five times
a day and manufacturing the computers we can't do without and that their
intelligence services will no doubt later hack into to! -- and the sad part
is, I'm not sure whether this scenario falls under the category of
prediction or postdiction!:

(Ezek 28:6-10) Therefore thus saith the Lord God; Because thou hast set thine
heart as the heart of God; 7Behold, therefore I will bring strangers upon thee,
the terrible of the nations: and they shall draw their swords against the beauty
of thy wisdom, and they shall defile thy brightness. 8They shall bring thee
down to the pit, and thou shalt die the deaths of them that are slain in the midst
of the seas. 9Wilt thou yet say before him that slayeth thee, I am God? but thou
shalt be a man, and no God, in the hand of him that slayeth thee. 10Thou shalt
die the deaths of the uncircumcised by the hand of strangers: for I have spoken
it, saith the Lord God.

This is crunch-time! The Universe is waiting to exhale! Will we now

forsake E Pluribus Unum and replace it with E Pluribus Nihilum?! Will
we subvert the Bill of Rights in order to purchase a Bill of Goods?! But
mark my words! -- the hand of God, the grace of Christ and the
Immaculate Conception of the Our Lady will not stand idly by and watch
as Arlington's crosses are removed by the judicial system they
purchased!:

(Gen 49:22) Joseph is a fruitful bough, even a fruitful bough by a well; whose
branches run over the wall: 23The archers have sorely grieved him, and shot at
him, and hated him: 24But his bow abode in strength, and the arms of his hands
were made strong by the hands of the mighty God of Jacob; (from thence is the
shepherd, the stone of Israel:) 25Even by the God of thy father, who shall help
thee; and by the Almighty, who shall bless thee with blessings of heaven above,
blessings of the deep that lieth under, blessings of the breasts, and of the womb:
26The blessings of thy father have prevailed above the blessings of my
progenitors unto the utmost bound of the everlasting hills: they shall be on the
head of Joseph, and on the crown of the head of him that was separate from his
brethren.

Pastor Rick Warren says he loves gays and so do I; and that's why I'm
going to move heaven and earth to rescue those that can be and prevent
166
those that would have been. But when the adopted children of gay
parents open their eyes for the first time, having sinned from beforetime
(and thus entering the temporal stage in rebellion), I'll be damned if the
first thing those tiny impressionable eyes see is my two dads!

Let no child understand the horrors I've witnessed; let no child read these
words; and if they do, let them scratch their heads in astonishment -- not
understanding what it means! Let it be an allegory for something else!

And as for my gay friends, please know that were it possible, I would
end my life in bloody crucifixion if only to save just one of you. The
tears on my face are as bitter as the waters of Meribah whenever I think
of the horrors and humiliations; psychic sufferings which I surmise are
beyond my knowing -- preventable horrors! -- and I don't know of any
real Christian that doesn't concur with this sentiment; but I do know that
with every ounce of strength I can muster, I will sound the alarm and be
a devilish beacon of hope so that the children of my children will not
have to read these awful words!

But God in his goodness has taken it upon himself to endure the lowest
hell in order to spare the world what might have been -- and when Christ
said, It is finished, hell went out of business! And we can expect the devil
to undercut his prices as he closes up shop!

Gay Messiah
A faggot is an Old French term denoting tree or stick
It cannot change the way it grows and so is hewn real quick
Devoid of any consciousness, it yield's to nature's trick
And deems itself a natural born religious heretic

It never looks inside itself to wonder "What is truth?"

It only sees itself disposed to bear unholy fruit
Much like a tree conforming to the seeds of sinful youth
It never overturns the death from which it took its root

A faggot never had a chance to find the 'Tree of Life'

Because the BRANCH was raised up to receive his holy wife
And Christians we were grafted in amidst the hellish strife
Of faggots burning, crackling on the old and rugged pike
167

New World Disorder

Now that we have identified the problem, what is the solution? What do
we do to become cured of addiction? I don't like the term mental
disorder. Order (or lack of it) speaks to behavior which can be
subjective. Thelonious Monk is a genius precisely because he defied
order, and if we make a virtue out of orderliness, we'll have a culture full
of orderlies taking orders from a warden. But the greatness of America is
its renegade spirit and fierce individuality. From Protestant Puritans to
trail-blazing pioneers, Americans in every epoch have always had a
pension for invention and an eye toward the Western sky. But the
concept of mental disorder is contrary to our national character at best
and at worst, it is a subtle racial sleight -- a holdover from the days when
European society was very rigid and structured and used that as evidence
of a natural ethnic superiority.

So instead of framing insanity in stuffed-shirt culturally-elitist notions of

order vs. disorder, let's speak of insanity in terms of suffering and
alleviation.

Now what constitutes suffering? If a person smokes like a chimney,

drinks like a fish and swears like a sailor, and if he's happy living that
way, then he's not suffering -- leave him be! But if a 125-pound women
pukes her peas because she thinks she's too fat, it's time to call Houston
because we have a problem. Likewise, if an actor behaves like a
horrendous gaywad for the sequel to Milk (maybe they can call it 'Milk
2%'), there's no need to question his sanity; but if a man marries a
woman, has kids, and yet secretly harbors feelings for other men, hose
him down -- he's on fire!

In either instance, it's not the behavior that's the problem; it's the
suffering. That's because mental illness is a matter of the heart, not the
body -- and it can only be cured in the heart:

(Ps 51:10-12) Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit
within me. 11Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit
from me. 12Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy
free spirit.
168
Now just as a drunk doesn't know that they're drunk while they're drunk,
a sinner doesn't know that they're a sinner until they confess. That's why
confession is necessary for salvation. Another word for confession is
baptism:

(Matt 3:11) I indeed baptize you with water unto repentance: but he that
cometh after me is mightier than I, whose shoes I am not worthy to bear: he
shall baptize you with the Holy Ghost, and with fire:

If a man doesn't confess his sins, his own biochemistry will kill him. It's
not "children in the eyes of an angry God!" God doesn't kill people;
people kill people! This world is our hell and divine recompense is
nothing more than a metaphor for natural recompense. It is sin that kills,
not God's wrath! Nobody killed Judas, he hanged himself in his own bio-
fluid (the field of blood) and so shall it be with all non-repentant!:

(Deut 24:16) The fathers shall not be put to death for the children, neither shall
the children be put to death for the fathers: every man shall be put to death for
his own sin.

Now all Christians are schizophrenics; when you're born again, you take
on a new persona which may come into conflict with the old self. That
would be MPD; a split personality. Non-Christians don't experience this
phenomenon -- nor does God. But if all the world is crazy, then who's in
our asylums? Nevertheless, in a world where all are born sinning, it's the
born-again Jesus-freaks who survive because they reject their sin-toxins
through the cleansing of Jesus' blood. It's as if the villain of the first
Terminator movie becomes the hero in the sequel, extending his hand to
a skeptical Sarah Connor with the words "Come with me if you want to
live." But unlike the real Terminator, this sequel's better than the
original! Hasta la vista, baby!

Nevertheless, there is a kind of suffering to which non-Christians are

perpetually aloof; they will never understand true guilt, because they do
not confess their sins. Likewise, there is a peace that non-Christians will
never attain to; the love of God and the salvation of Christ which
liberates the soul and resurrects the flesh. Non-Christians cannot be
cured of their sin-disease; they were born sinning and will die sinning for
the sake of the elect. But there is no physiological difference between
Christians and non-Christians. The human body was formed in perfection
and the sin-toxin released at birth; even if you convert at the age of two,
you're flesh will still die -- a little leaven leaveneth the whole lump (Gal
169
5:9), but the power of the Resurrection has given us new and
incorruptible bodies:

(1 Cor 15:43-45) It is sown in dishonour; it is raised in glory: it is sown in

weakness; it is raised in power: 44It is sown a natural body; it is raised a
spiritual body. There is a natural body, and there is a spiritual body. 45And so it
is written, The first man Adam was made a living soul; the last Adam was
made a quickening spirit.

Non-Christians live in a thoroughly absurd world from which death is the

only escape. But where Christians hope; demons cope, having their faces
turned from the light of the gospel in obedience to the Circumcision. On
earth, these gravitate toward legalistic religions and mechanistic
cosmologies which engender slavery and death; they are the stiff-necked
children of the devil who continually die for lack of knowledge without
God in the world. Nor can they even bring themselves to say the word G-
d or draw a cartoon character of him, having been estranged from the
Universe and cast off from the commonwealth of Israel.

But in this world, mental disorder is not the disease, it's the cure!:

(Matt 16:24) Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me,
let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.

The 12-Schlep Program

12-step programs are fine so long as we recognize that there is but one
step to total mind-body healing: embrace Christ! But the Cult of
Helplessness offers a different solution: convince the Universe that
suffering is normal and death-to-be-embraced, while dispensing the I'm-
okay-you're-okay snake-oil of miseducation, civil litigation,
destigmatization, and guilt mitigation. Gay liberation is neither gay nor
liberating -- it's like we're getting f*cked with two dicks!

Meanwhile, the false deliverance meated out by the purveyors of

perdition only serves to heighten the suffering while at the same time
masking its underlying causes:

POP QUIZ: If a man is drowning, do you...

A) Toss him a pair of goggles.
B) Get him out of the water.
170
Now all mental anguish has one cause; and that cause is fear. If you have
a phobia, it is because you fear something happening; if you have a
compulsion, it is because you fear something not happening. Fear can be
likened to a magnet whose north pole is compulsion and whose south
pole is repulsion. Cure the fear and heal the mind. But what can cure
fear? -- faith!:

(2 Tim 1:7) For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of
love, and of a sound mind.

Fear has nothing to do with reality. That's why it's an irrational fear. If
you fear a mouse, it has nothing to do with the mouse; it has to do with
you. You make a choice to fear. A different mouse in a different place
might illicit a different reaction from you, perhaps even a lesser
apprehension or none at all! It's up to you. You have control over your
mind and the ability to heal your own mind through the power of faith:

(Matt 9:22) Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole.
And the woman was made whole from that hour.

Not only can faith heal mental illness, but because your mind controls
your biochemistry, your faith can also cure your physical body as well.
Faith healings happen all the time, and even medical science has proven
a link between prayer and faster recovery times. Likewise, you can make
yourself physically ill by the power of your mind. You can even kill
yourself by sheer thought:

(Luke 21:25) and upon the earth distress of nations, with perplexity; the sea
and the waves roaring; 6Men's hearts failing them for fear, and for looking after
those things which are coming on the earth:

Another word for fear is sin. But if you don't like the 'religious' term,
then let's just call it fear.

But what is fear? Fear is a mystery. Because the Blessed Virgin doesn't
fear, she has no idea what fear is; but she, in Christ, does know all too
well what fear does:

(Matt 27:46) My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?

(Rev 17:5) MYSTERY, BABYLON THE GREAT, THE MOTHER OF

HARLOTS AND ABOMINATIONS OF THE EARTH.
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Because God has no clue as to what fear is, it is up to us to educate her
on this matter. So let's give it the old college try:

- Fear is a lie.

- Fear is whatever contradicts reality.

- Fear is true schizophrenia; an inner conflict with the self.

- Fear is like playing hide-and-seek with yourself!

- Fear is like hiring a security guard for an empty warehouse!

- Fear is like building a bridge to nowhere and then jumping off it!

- Fear is like doubting the Skittles rainbow you're sitting on!

- Fear is like dumping your hot dominatrix girlfriend because you didn't want to
be tied down!

- Fear is like killing your ex-wife and then writing 'If I did it'!

- Fear is like killing your own brother and then asking 'Am I my brother's
keeper?'

- Fear is like cowering on your knees before a dead god.

- Fear is like voting against the guy who's gonna lower your taxes because you're
against taxation.

You can't reason with fear any more than you can negotiate with a
terrorist! There is no method to madness and no 12-step panacea! You
have heard it said that all things are possible to him who believes; but so
too are all things possible to him who doubts!

Now the symptoms of fear can include shaking, sweating, headaches,

nausea, etc. But anxiety, depression and thoughts of suicide are not
symptoms! -- they are the causes! Only you can make yourself anxious,
and only you can cure it through faith in the cross! Christianity is not a
religion; and love is not a behavior -- but true faith loves God more than
life itself; like the real Peter who endured viscous martyrdom for the sake
of the gospel. Let us never forget that when Jesus said "Take up thy cross
and follow me," he was speaking to a first century audience!:

(Matt 16:25) For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will
lose his life for my sake shall find it.
172
And yet we each have our own cross to bear, but true love has a fire -- a
zeal! True love questions oneself without doubting oneself. True love
takes nothing for granted unless it's granted for nothing! But it is the
intention and not the act that matters -- it's not about giving to charity, it's
about giving with charity!:

(1 Cor 13:3) And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I
give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.

It is impossible to love your neighbor apart from monotheism. Without a

Godfather, love is insignificant, lacking justification. You would have to
choose which of the gods to follow, and if you picked the wrong god,
you might find yourself up Styx creek! But the God of gods, who's
justice engenders justification and who's spirit tempers it with mercy, has
guaranteed both the legitimacy and efficacy of love by the power of
Christ's name. But love apart from grace through the faith in the
Resurrection does not exist -- cannot!; it is impossible to worship an un-
resurrected Universe! Even Christ himself was conceived Immaculate,
owing his very ministry to his own blood!:

(Matt 3:14) But John forbad him, saying, I have need to be baptized of thee,
and comest thou to me? 15And Jesus answering said unto him, Suffer it to be
so now: for thus it becometh us to fulfil all righteousness. Then he suffered
him. 16And Jesus, when he was baptized, went up straightway out of the water:
and, lo, the heavens were opened unto him, and he saw the Spirit of God
descending like a dove, and lighting upon him: 17And lo a voice from heaven,
saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.

Fear and addiction know no bounds. There is nothing in the universe

you can't fear and nothing in the universe you can't become addicted to.
But love that is perfect casteth out both fear and addiction.

I gave myself to Christ on 1 June 2001 and I still struggle with sin
everyday. But though I am less atrocious now than I was then (if you can
imagine!), I am no more well. Maybe I've got the perfect combination of
a clean heart and a dirty mind!:

(1 Cor 1:26-9) For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men
after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called: 27But God hath
chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; 28And base things
of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things
which are not, to bring to nought things that are:
173
But nevertheless, I have managed to glean some wisdom in my struggle
to reform myself (as well as my quest for truth). This doctrine is not for
the squeamish, but rather it is for people who aren't afraid to ask
questions and hold scripture up to the light! If there's anything wrong
with scripture, I'll be the first to deny it; but so far (and after almost three
readings), I have yet to find anything which contradicts truth (and I base
my faith entirely on reason and logic, rebuking the Blessed Virgin herself
at times). The Protestants like to say sola fide; but in Trenchtown, we say
'Ready fi'dead!'

But knowledge is not a cure. Though I have all knowledge and knoweth
all mysteries (and even where the restrooms are in heaven), and can
speak with the tongues of angels while chewing gum and whistling
Dixie, and can solve a Rubik's cube while locating your G-spot, it profits
me nothing if I don't love God -- and I know that I don't love God
whenever I fear, which is a constant battle -- but to a psychiatrist, I come
across as stark-raving mad!:

(Rom 7:15) For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but
what I hate, that do I. 16If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the
law that it is good. 17Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in
me.

Now the charismatic encouragement types (like Meyer and Osteen) often
are berated by conservatives for their 'practical' self-help repartee (as if
there were anything wrong with that!) But at the risk of 'watering down
the gospel,' I submit my own 12-schlep program for total mind-body
healing:

SCHLEP 1: Admit it -- you did it. Drugs, sex and alcohol have nothing
to do with your addiction. It's about you! It's ALWAYS about you! Drop
the chalupa!

SCHLEP 2: Stupid is as stupid does. If a vampire stops sucking blood,

he ain't a vampire no more! Likewise, you are what you do, not what you
did:

(Matt 7:18) A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree
bring forth good fruit.

So if you're not sodomizing someone right this moment, you're not a

fruit!
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SCHLEP 3: Get over it. Slychiatrists try to allay guilt through the
enabling of sin. In their minds, guilt is symptomatic of a conflict between
the pleasure principle and the superego. But in reality, guilt is a form of
pleasure -- albeit a sinful one. A righteous man feels no guilt, but
confesses his sins to a forgiving God who takes away sin and guilt by the
power of his blood. This is true liberation -- but slychiatry offers the false
redemption of obfuscating guilt by the denial of free will and personal
responsibility. But this a lie! An ABSOLUTE and unmitigated lie! You
are what you are, and if you can think it, you can be it! It just takes faith!

But the devil-spawn APA beast of the antichrist would subvert your
minds and deny your liberty to the detriment of your mental health, and
to the destruction of your flesh! They have announced their intentions
and have not denied it! They want to kill you from the inside, convincing
you to accept your own death, thereby releasing the biochemical sin-
toxins which will inevitably kill you!:

THE FIVE STAGES OF DEATH

I. Denial
II. Anger
III. Bargaining
IV. Depression
V. Acceptance

Now if you reverse the literal meanings of the five stages of death, you
wind up with a very interesting corollary -- what I like to call, The Five
Stages of Life:

I. Confession
II. Humility
III. Sacrifice
IV. Joy
V. Thanksgiving

Embrace life without guilt! Jesus took all of it away so that there is no
more condemnation. If society ridicules you for confessing Christ, they
are on the wrong side of justice since all have fallen short of the glory of
God. But if you continue to wallow in guilt, you implicate Christ! -- it's
as if you're blaming God for saving you; but you can't judge Jesus twice -
- that would be double jeopardy!:

(2 Cor 7:10-11) For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be

repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death. 11For behold this
175
selfsame thing, that ye sorrowed after a godly sort, what carefulness it wrought
in you, yea, what clearing of yourselves, yea, what indignation, yea, what fear,
yea, what vehement desire, yea, what zeal, yea, what revenge! In all things ye
have approved yourselves to be clear in this matter.

Christianity is not about being good; it's about being right. The Passion
of the Christ is not at all good, but it is right; and it is the righteousness
of God that is goodness toward men. But guilt rejects both goodness and
righteousness, even our Lord Christ!:

(Luke 5:8) When Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus' knees, saying,
Depart from me; for I am a sinful man, O Lord.

SCHLEP 4: You gotta' have faith. Because all compulsions, fears and
addictions are a matter of the heart, it must be addressed there; but
slychiatrists believe in chemical causes and chemical cures.

But is it the chemicals that cure the condition, or the confidence of the
patient taking them? And if it's the confidence, then couldn't we just
dispense with the magic feather altogether?

Jesus saw a lame man lying next to an enchanted pool, which had an
infirmity thirty and eight years:

(John 5:6-9) When Jesus saw him lie, and knew that he had been now a long
time in that case, he saith unto him, Wilt thou be made whole? 7The impotent
man answered him, Sir, I have no man, when the water is troubled, to put me
into the pool: but while I am coming, another steppeth down before me. 8Jesus
saith unto him, Rise, take up thy bed, and walk. 9And immediately the man was
made whole, and took up his bed, and walked:

The name of the pool: Bethesda!

SCHLEP 5: Fighting Temptations. So now you've given yourself to

Christ, but the physical sensations associated with the release of sin-
toxins are a constant reminder of your sin. The only way to ameliorate
this maddening sensation of illicit desire is to consummate it; but if you
cave into it, you'll be damned! Welcome to the good fight of faith, private
Benjamin!:

(Gal 5:16-17) This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust
of the flesh. 17For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the
flesh:
176
First, understand that this sensation has nothing to do with you, it is your
flesh. If you hear a bell whenever you eat, after you have sublimated the
association of food with bell, you will probably (but not at all definitely)
obey that association. Not a problem! -- there are good habits, and
without them, we would never learn anything because language, art,
music, mathematics, and all facets of human existence require the
acquisition, sublimation and continuation of thought patterns. That's
called, being human.

There are natural patterns as well -- just look inside any conch shell! The
Universe is grammatical wherefore intelligence requires linguistic
communication which itself necessitates pattern and continuity -- precept
upon precept; line upon line -- you might say, we're living in a 'patternal'
Universe!

The problem is not that we have habits; it's which habits we have! Good
habits are conducive of life and joy; bad habits are conducive of death
and misery. When we sin -- and we all have!, we instigate a pattern in
our subliminal consciousness which we subsequently follow to our own
detriment as well as to the detriment of Christ. When we repent, we find
ourselves embroiled in a seemingly endless (and oftentimes
disheartening) struggle to break free from the motions of sin:

(Rom 7:20, 22-24) Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but
sin that dwelleth in me. 22For I delight in the law of God after the inward man:
23But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind,
and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. 24O
wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?

There's no easy solution to this dilemma. You just have to tough it out.
Remember Jesus who withstood his passion without sinning and
contemplate the suffering of the people your sins victimized and the
Blessed Virgin who witnesses the horror of your sin with perpetual and
unflinching omniscience and yet does not sin herself, nor does she hold
your sin against you.

SCHLEP 6: Take your meds. Everyone has their own fight and for
some, the ravages of sin have contaminated their brains to the point
where medication is in order, and if so, please take it. I know the feeling
that just comes and overwhelms you like a wave. I know the seemingly
uncontrollable fits of laughter and the sudden debilitating crashes of
despair. I know what it's like to pray for quick death. Let there be no
social stigma attached to anyone being treated for the biochemical
177
ravages of sin, as long as it is understood that the crutch of medication is
a tourniquet, not a cure; and that it is ultimately ourselves who are
responsible for our decisions, not our bodies.

In truth, everything we digest has some impact on brain chemistry; and a

healthy diet and exercise regime can assist in the process of stabilization
after a traumatic experience. But some people put themselves through the
health ringer in order to avoid Alzheimer's and outlive Methuselah, while
negating the effects of diet and exercise through an unclean thought life.
But if you ask anyone over the age of 100 what's the secret to their
longevity, they'll always tell you it's clean living!

Of course, abusers of drugs have a tougher battle. Not only must they
battle their own biochemical sin-toxins, but they must also struggle
against the toxins of the drugs they're struggling to break free from. Then
there are the outside social ramifications of their addiction, not to
mention the heart-crushing relapses. To you, I pray to the fighting angel
Michael (who did battle with Satan) that a nation will be roused to the
cause of vanquishing drug, alcohol and nicotine addiction, and that
you're experiences will better equip you should you have the privilege of
taking part in this vital ministry.

SCHLEP 7: Fast and pray. One look at me and you can tell that I've
spent a lot less time fasting and praying and a lot more time praying fast!
But there are other kinds of fasting.

Television can be a drug. There's a lot of information coming at you real

fast and if you're not the model of mental discipline, there's an
opportunity to become beguiled by the devil. I gave up TV after I
converted for about 2 years and what did I miss? Operation Iraqi
Freedom?

On 9/11, I ate lunch with the choir director of Los Angeles Christian
Presbyterian Church at a Thai restaurant in West LA. It was packed and I
heard later that all LA restaurants did well on that day. Maybe people
want to be with other people in times like these. Maybe people need ice
cream after a surgery. Maybe it was a Passover in peanut sauce. As we
ate, the televisions were tuned to CNN, the estimated body-count rolling
over to ever higher figures (like the odometer on Satan's Saturn). I
couldn't watch; and yet with the implosion of those towers came a
reassurance -- a new hope! As burning bodies leapt to their deaths, I saw
178
my own sins being taken away -- me and Gary Condit... Sometimes, it's
good to turn off the TV for a while -- call it station identification.

SCHLEP 8: Think deliberately. Because the spirit can travel at the

speed of light, you have the ability to think at the speed of light. The
language of thought is Hebrew, but that raw Hebrew is codified into
English (or some other tongue). I have speculated that before it reaches
the English stage, it passes through precursory stages -- more
specifically, Greek and Latin. The Spirit says this is the case, but I'm not
that attuned to my thoughts at this point to be able to tell. Nevertheless,
this wouldn't be the tongue languages of Greek and Latin, but the raw
'protolinguistic' archetypes.

There are no 'repressed' or 'hidden' thoughts. Because you think in a

different language than you speak (perhaps even more than one different
protolanguage?), and because you think at fantastic speeds, it may
appear as if you are out-of-control. Add to that, the fact that the Blessed
Virgin is constantly and necessarily inspiring your thoughts, though you
have the autonomous prerogative to shape the direction of that
inspiration or reject it altogether. (You inspire the Blessed Virgin as well
whenever you pray - and she never disobeys them unless it's for your
ultimate good). You are who you are (and you know who you are);
neither are there any 'repressed' instincts or drives or anything else that
evades the purview of your own conscious awareness. So emancipate
yourself from mental slavery; none but yourself can free your mind!:

(Phil 4:8) Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are
honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever
things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue,
and if there be any praise, think on these things.

SCHLEP 9: Past is not Prologue. Just because you messed up today,

doesn't mean you'll mess up tomorrow; just because you did well today,
doesn't mean you'll do well tomorrow. Every second is a second chance,
and if you can learn to live life moment-to-moment, you'll soon discover
that there's no time like the present. You are not the person you were, and
you won't become the person you fear becoming. There just isn't enough
time in the here-and-now to worry about the there-and-when, so take life
as it comes and carpe diem!

SCHLEP 10: Rejoice in Failure. This may sound counterintuitive, but

even your lapses have a purpose in the grand scheme of things. If we
never sinned, we would never have been ejected from Eden, and we do
179
not rejoice for that original failure; but were God to rapture up every
Christian the moment that they're born again, the 'left-behind' types
would inhabit a much more severe reality; therefore, God left us behind
temporarily in order to minister to the world of sin that our initial
rebellion instigated.

We're on the front lines of the heavenly rebellion; and Judas is our
enemy for the sake of the gospel -- but without him, there is no gospel!
He is a victim of our original sin inasmuch as Christ:

(Ac 1:16-17) Men and brethren, this scripture must needs have been fulfilled,
which the Holy Ghost by the mouth of David spake before concerning Judas,
which was guide to them that took Jesus. 17For he was numbered with us, and
had obtained part of this ministry.

There is only one sin and only one baptism for the remission of sins, but
unless you're a maniac Dudley Do-Right, we oftentimes find ourselves
constantly relapsing and being renewed to the faith. However it is
possible to stop sinning for long stretches of time, even for all eternity!
But since eternity never exactly comes, it is impossible even for the
Blessed Virgin to tell whether or not we will ever attain a level of
unrelapsing obedience:

(Matt 20:20-21, 23) Then came to him the mother of Zebedee's children with
her sons, worshipping him, and desiring a certain thing of him. 21And he said
unto her, What wilt thou? She saith unto him, Grant that these my two sons
may sit, the one on thy right hand, and the other on the left, in thy kingdom.
23And he saith unto them, Ye shall drink indeed of my cup, and be baptized
with the baptism that I am baptized with: but to sit on my right hand, and on my
left, is not mine to give, but it shall be given to them for whom it is prepared of
my Father.

Relapses can be disheartening, but not if we can see them as necessary

for the purpose of the gospel; our failings provide ministry opportunities
that we otherwise wouldn't have had. Or else the Blessed Virgin ushers
us into Paradise the instant we're saved and denies us the privilege of
ministering to our friends, relatives -- even our enemies! I can imagine
how much more difficult it is to relapse in Paradise as the only people
there are Christians and Christians have demonstrated a great capacity to
be holy and good even in this life! Here, we are wheat among tares;
there, we are catchers in the rye!

SCHLEP 11: Don't even go there. When Lot fled Sodom with his wife
and daughters, he was instructed by the angels not to look back at the
180
destruction. Similarly, we should avoid situations which vex our minds
and tempt our hearts.

If you're gay repentant, don't go to gay clubs or have relationships with

other gays. If you look gay (or butch-lesbian) by reason of biochemical
contamination of your flesh, don't look at yourself in the mirror until you
get to heaven and receive a new body. These are suggestions, not
commands.

If you're an alcoholic, try to avoid situations where you might be tempted

to drink; same thing goes for other substance abusers. If you have a
phobia, avoid situations where you might relapse. If you've got anorexia,
don't weigh yourself. If you're a veteran with PTSD, don't watch war
movies or talk about what happened over there. Tell your family never to
ask about it. Let go and let God.

Of course, these are suggestions, not commands. During the course of

your earthly ministry, you may find it advantageous to avail yourself to
situations wherein you might find yourself tempted. Furthermore, it is
entirely faithless to assume that you would be tempted in any given
situation; nor is everyone graced with the same level of spiritual
toughness. Nevertheless, wisdom informs us that men (by nature) are
creatures of habit, given to the repetition of patterns whether they be
edifying or deleterious.

The term relapse is somewhat of a misnomer in a Universe where

nothing repeats or can. So don't fear relapses; lightening will never strike
in the same place twice and each subsequent sin is entirely different than
the one preceding (though the fear which provoked it is always the
same). But the Blessed Virgin permits you (where ever possible) to avoid
those things which formerly vexed you in righteousness and without any
faithless (and specious) presumption that you may relapse:

(Ps 1:1-3) Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly,
nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. 2But
his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and
night.

SCHLEP 12: Bless Jesus. Relish the victory! You've made it into
heaven by virtue of your faith in Jesus Christ! Rejoice in the Lord always
and again I say rejoice! -- and no 12-schlep program would be complete
without a certificate of completion:
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(1 Cor 6:9-11) Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom
of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor
effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, 10Nor thieves, nor
covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the
kingdom of God. 11And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are
sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit
of our God.

Now a friend in need is a friend indeed. And there is no greater blessing

than to grace others with the wisdom gleaned from a lifetime of failure.
So by all means, get involved! Take the spotlight off yourself and shine
the light on Jesus!

But don't make a devotion out of it! You've got nothing to hide and less
to prove! Nevertheless, some weak-minded Christians go to church the
same way they take out the trash -- it's just another chore to them! Maybe
they're going to chorch! But if you don't like your chorch, then don't
bother going; there are other ways to make a contribution (which is your
reasonable service!)

Let the Universe be your church! Little league, boy scouts, soup
kitchens, mentoring programs -- there's a whole panoply of NJOs
(nonjudgmental organizations) where you can get involved and grace
someone else with your gifts and talents. You never know -- the life you
grace may be your own!

I've heard others say they don't like organized religion, but I have yet to
hear anyone define what that is or suggest an alternative. But that's the
intention! It's a mean-nothing term that leaves it up to the hearer to attach
their own definition. So if the person your evangelizing says they don't
like organized religion, tell 'em not to worry, your church doesn't have
an organ!

Then there are those who see church as an impediment to personal

enjoyment. Nothing could be further from the truth! The whole point of
religion is to embrace life and joy! But some churches, whose members
are insecure about their salvation, employ rules and regulations (that
have nothing to do with God or the Bible) as a means of validating their
own faith to the detriment of the more liberated Christians who
subsequently become disillusioned by their spooky religiosity. But the
righteousness of God is not fettered by the piety of men -- and as far as
the Blessed Virgin is concerned, Christianity could do with a lot less
hocus-pocus and a bit more hanky-panky!
182
Nevertheless, it is incumbent on the 'liberated' not to lord liberality over
our weaker brothers. We're not all in the same situation with the Spirit.
There are many who will read this doctrine and think I'm not a good
Christian and become offended by the freedom that is in Christ. But if I
were a member of a less liberated church, I would suspend my liberality
as did Paul who, unlike the other Apostles, abstained from sexual
relations with the women of the congregation for the benefit of the weak:

(1 Cor 9:1, 2-12) Am I not an apostle? am I not free? have I not seen Jesus
Christ our Lord? 3Mine answer to them that do examine me is this, 4Have we
not power to eat and to drink? 5Have we not power to lead about a sister, a
wife, as well as other apostles, and as the brethren of the Lord, and Cephas?
11If we have sown unto you spiritual things, is it a great thing if we shall reap
your carnal things? 12Nevertheless we have not used this power; but suffer all
things, lest we should hinder the gospel of Christ.

I mean, C'mon! Is it any secret that Peter was kickin' it with Tabitha?:

(Acts 9:40-41) But Peter put them all forth, and kneeled down, and prayed; and
turning him to the body said, Tabitha, arise. And she opened her eyes: and
when she saw Peter, she sat up. 41And he gave her his hand,

Riot of Fire
Dear editor,
I would describe this book as
conscious;
My style,
ghetto prophecy
With a sensitive
sensibility
So let me just give you a sense of
my ability
(with all due humility.)
No,
I've never been published, but not for lack of trying.
Trying to get noticed
but no one's buying.
No marketing plan, so I may as well quit.
My readership? -- they's all illiterit!
No Black lit. agencies
183
(plenty of black publications.)
I aks myself, Warum ist es?
Racist white publishers shun Black talent?
They don't think it'll sell? Oh well!
Did I say sell? I meant cell.
That's why we've got to publish ourcellves!
Or else what?
It ain't like I know nobody!
It ain't like I got no money!
But there's one thing I've got:
And that's a purpose; a mission;
A sense of ambition;
A mystery; a ministry
A spiritual history
A manifest destiny
A legacy (allegedly
with a longtime enemy)
A promise; a praise;
A prize; And yet,
Still, I rise
To find myself primed for battle;
Sharp as steel, pistol-packin'
Like George S. Patton
Or a kid from Scranton watchin' The Muppets,
Ready to take Manhattan.
Did I say The Muppets? or Them uppity people readin'
Grisham 'n Clancy
Forget the Harlem Renaissance
Just give me another Harlequin Necromancy
Or a Stephen King horror about Dora the Explorer
Heard his last one was a snorer!
But the next one should be better: Dial 'M' for Movie!
But it still doesn't move me
To inspire
Like the Mormon Tabernacle Choir
Murder for Hire?
Call me a liar
Or maybe just Elijah
sittin'
in this chariot of fire, spittin'
Wishin' I could afford the whole chariot,
But I can't, so here goes the
184
Riot of Fire!
Hard-hittin'
Well-written'
Like a bloody mitten
that just ain't fittin'
The jury's acquittin'
and I ain't bull-shittin'
'cuz I've just been smitten
with the writing bug
So I find myself submittin'
this lyrical group hug
to your literary agency
And I just wanna thank you
for readin' this book query, Mrs. Doubtfire.
His Truly,
'Da Prince of Tyre;

The Brave Knight

In his hour of grief, the king summoned his knight.
How shall I serve thee, my lord? spaketh he.
The matter for which I have called you is dire;
My daughter, a dastardly wizard absconded
Wherefore I hath sent thee to win her release;
And if thou shalt save her, I offer ye this:
Her hand and mine kingdom to thee shalt be given
And thou shalt be called by my name, spake the king.

So off went the knight on a quest for his maiden

O'er hill and valley upon a white steed.
And there did he survey the wizard's dark castle
Which rose from the spines of a perilous cliff.
Found he the lass in a high tower sealed.

Render the damsel! he cried to the wizard.

Never I shall, the gaunt figure replied,
Lest thou mayest prove thyself worthy of honour;
To a man without fear shall I render the lass.
185
But the knight protested, I hath not a fear!
Prove it to me and the lady is thine!
Give me a test that my courage may prove!
Thus sprach the wizard, This shall ye do:
Conquer the dragon which lives in the dungeon.
Whose face is as wracked as the stench of his drool;
Who raises his neck on the strength of his haunches
Then may I know that thy fear hath ye conquered.

Therefore the knight with his sword and a torch

Walked into the darkness so dismal and bleak.
With each halting step, he had mustered his courage,
Ginning his temper to meet the fierce beast.

'Twas there sighted he the most wretched of visions,

From billowing nostrils went plumes of white smoke,
A terrible beast with its wings outstretched,
Revealing sharp shards of glistening scales
Whilst twisting its head of putrid green.

Now will I slay thee! howled the knight in his rage.

But the dragon entreated, Why doest so thus?
For to slay me in no wise shalt prove thyself fearless
As next to me stands yet another more fearsome.
Then him shall I slay! spaketh he with conviction.
But pleaded the dragon, Wherefore doest thou?
As there is not an end to the terrors of hell,
For hell is its terror: the dragon supplanting
That which ye hath conquered is ever more gruesome
'Til hell be confounded with dragons so fierce,
That nary a soul could ever requite it!

What then shall I do? spake the knight to the dragon.

To prove myself fearless and rescue my lass?
Then spake the wise dragon, A heart without fear
Beats not in the man who hast conquered all dragons,
But rather it beats in the sinner who dares
To serve every man as he would his own God
For a love that is perfect shall cast out all fear.
186
From thence, emerged the brave knight from his dungeon
And the wizard beseeched him, Hast thou foundest courage?
At last hath I learned, spake the knight with great joy,
That to conquer one's fears is an errand of folly.
But find ye the courage that walketh away,
Confessing thine fears to the Blessed Redeemer
Who findeth the grace that restoreth thy soul!

Thus was the lady restored to her land

And with the king's blessing she gavest her hand.
And thus was he granted his kingdom and throne
And every good blessing to calleth his own
In the name of the king who forever shall stand.

Sir Petralot
When you hear the horse's trot
Here comes brave Sir Petralot
Rescuing his distressed damsel
In a tower like Rapunzel
Maiden with the flaxen hair
From a dragon in a lair
But the peasants, they ignore me
And the poets, they abhor me
And the pirates, they don't know me
Maybe I'm the one and lonely
But I fight this fight for you
Cuz I know your heart is true
Like a hero who hath conquered
(Though I act just like a drunkard
Or a jester), But I'm not
I'm the brave Sir Petralot

Prayer Chains
An atheist prays for God to leave him alone;
In hell, God answers the prayer
and puts him on a planet where no one can hear or see him.
187
A gay man prays that he will wake up a woman;
In hell, God answers the prayer
and then puts him on a planet full of gay men.

A Zionist prays that he will wake up in the Holy Land;

In hell, God answers the prayer
and then buys him tickets
to the Holy Land Experience in Orlando, Florida.

A Mormon prays for multiple wives,

In hell, God answers the prayer
but he's not allowed to remove his secret underpants.

A president prays to defeat the terrorists;

In hell, God answers the prayer,
but not before he kills more people than bin Laden,
tortures more people than al-Qeada
and puts out more propaganda than Al Jazeera.

A Cuban prays for Castro's death;

In hell, God answers the prayer,
but nobody knows he's been dead since '06.

An Adventist prays to keep the Sabbath;

In hell, God answers the prayer,
but first he has to get circumcised.

An environmentalist prays to reverse global warming;

In hell, God answers the prayer,
when hell freezes over.

A prophet prays to predict the future;

In hell, God answers the prayer
and he predicts his own death.

A psychic prays to talk to the dead;

In hell, God answers the prayer,
but he can't sleep because they speak incessantly.
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A Baptist prays for the cessation of gifts;
In hell, God answers the prayer
and he wonders whether or not he blasphemed the Spirit.

A humanist prays for a godless ethic;

In hell, God answers the prayer,
but in a faithless world, nobody obeys it.

A warden prays that no prisoner will escape;

In hell, God answers the prayer
and he becomes their prisoner.

A Racist prays for a Whites-only heaven;

In hell, God answers the prayer,
but he's not allowed to close his eyes or turn off the lights.

A Muslim prays to kill all Jews;

In hell, God answers the prayer
and he has to ask God for more Jews to kill.

A cult leader prays to be worshipped as Jesus;

In hell, God answers the prayer
and forsakes him as he dies for the sins of his followers.

A psychiatrist prays to cure mental illness;

In hell, God answers the prayer,
but first, he has to convince his patients that they're crazy.

A high school nerd prays to become cool.

In hell, God answers the prayer,
but he's too cool to notice.

A Buddhist prays to achieve Enlightenment;

In hell, God answers the prayer
but first, he must renounce Buddhism.

A politician prays to get elected;

In hell, God answers the prayer,
but first, he must break all of his campaign promises.
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A feminist prays to be liberated from men;
In hell, God answers the prayer
but she lives in continuous obsession
over whether or not men respect her.

A comedian prays to elicit laughter;

In hell, God answers the prayer,
and he is given a sitcom with a laugh track.

An actress prays for a starring role;

In hell, God answers the prayer,
but the road to stardom
takes a detour to the casting couch.

A singer prays for a Grammy;

In hell, God answers the prayer,
but first, he has to break up with his band.

A general prays for obedient troops;

In hell, God answers the prayer
and he wages war with child soldiers.

A writer prays to write the great American novel;

In hell, God answers the prayer,
but he must write it under a penname.

A sinner prays for salvation;

In hell, God answers the prayer
but he is persecuted by non-believers.

An astrophysicist prays to find God's fingerprints;

In hell, God answers the prayer,
but no scientific journal will publish his findings.

A scientist prays to disprove miracles;

In hell, God answers the prayer,
but first, he must toss out the anomalies.

A news anchor prays for a story;

In hell, God answers the prayer,
but it is censored by corporate sponsors.
190
A runner prays for a gold medal;
In hell, God answers the prayer,
but without a competitor, he loses the will to run.

The cable guy prays for a horny housewife;

In hell, God answers the prayer,
but he calls to reschedule after she waited for him all day!

Work Daze
On the first day of the week
Everything was looking bleak
How I moaned, I cannot say
That is why it's called Moanday

Then, the next day, I went back

With my lunch packed in my sack
Cuz my dues, I've got to pay
That is why it's called Duesday

Now to work, I have returned

By my sweat, my life is earned
When will this all end? -- I pray
That is why it's called Whensday

Now my week is almost done

Look out weekend, here I come!
Thirsting to go out and play
That is why it's called Thirstday

Now it's payday! -- Off I dash

To exchange my check for cash
Burger King, I'll have it 'my way'
Thanking God because it's Fryday!
191

Solomon's Goddess
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
who will commit to your trust the true riches?

She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in
her is of the Holy Ghost.

She considereth a field, and buyeth it.

For ye are bought with a price.

With the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman.

Her candle goeth not out by night.

Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.

She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands
to the needy.
because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor.

Her children arise up, and call her blessed;

for, behold, from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed.

Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
Hail, thou that art highly favoured, the Lord is with thee.

Mujer Mejor
Mujer mejor de Puerto Rico,
quiero oir -- '¡Ay Papito!'
La ella adora la flora ahora
y ponga la pinga enfrente de gente
(y cosas de otras, nosotras conozcas);
¿Qué debes hacer despues de salir?
¡Por qué tienes bodas si tu no me jodas tampoco!
192

Understanding the Trinity

Catholics have historically maintained that the Trinity were three distinct
Persons contained within one indivisible Godhead. These consist of
Father, Son and Holy Ghost and are of one substance and one being --
distinct, yet co-equal -- the Three in One. The language of Trinitarian
dogma is lofty and abstruse, running the gamut from the poetic to the
philosophical. But how are we to understand this complex doctrine?

Of course, it is not at all necessary to have a "perfect" understanding of

Trinitarianism, nor is it necessary to have any understanding of it at all.
There are many, such as Jehovah's Witnesses, Messianic Jews, and
Unitarian Christians who do not receive this doctrine now and may not
receive it in heaven either. Unitarianism is not heresy, just a different
understanding.

The Nicene Fathers codified Trinitarian dogma in the Creed that was
named for them. It is said and sung the world over and remains a
centerpiece of the Catholic Liturgy. On the other hand, the Mormon
doctrine concerning the Trinity is a true heresy. The LDS Church states
that Father, Son and Holy Ghost are three separate gods, which is a
violation of the first commandment. This misunderstanding of Catholic
Tradition has provided much fodder for the Jewish and Islamic critics of
Christianity who accuse us of polytheism, which of course, we are not.

The Trinity has an ethnic corollary constituent with the prophetic

ordering of the races (Gen 9:25-27). The Father (Black) is Creator and
Originator, the sudden and spontaneous genitive act, exercising manly
authority over a feminine creation by the lofty prowess of his dark and
mysterious will. The Son (Asian) is Mediator, Virgin-born -- the
obedient receptacle of Jehovah's wrath, the congenial and pathetic
servant who was pierced for our iniquities and wounded for our
transgressions. The Holy Spirit (White) is Comforter, the Refining Fire,
the Spirit of Truth and Wisdom. He convicts us of our sin and sanctifies
us through knowledge of the Holy One of Israel, the fruits of the Spirit
being outward and visible signs. Now let's explore each of these Persons
more deeply...
193
God the Father is Jehovah, the Godless Universe. To say that He is
"maker of heaven and earth, of all that is, seen and unseen" is a
personification of Ultimate Reality. Jehovah can do both good and evil.
He can repent or remain unrepentant. He can kill or make alive. He can
be male or female. He can order your steps and "direct thy paths" (Prov
3:6). Jehovah is inclusive of Mary, Jesus, the Devil, Peter, you, me,
everyone, everything. Jehovah begat Mary, Jesus and Satan and LORD
Mary oftentimes speaks on Jehovah's behalf:

(Deut 32:39-42) See now that I, even I, am he, and there is no god with me: I
kill, and I make alive; I wound, and I heal: neither is there any that can deliver
out of my hand. 40For I lift up my hand to heaven, and say, I live for ever. 41If
I whet my glittering sword, and mine hand take hold on judgment; I will render
vengeance to mine enemies, and will reward them that hate me. 42I will make
mine arrows drunk with blood, and my sword shall devour flesh; and that with
the blood of the slain and of the captives, from the beginning of revengers upon
the enemy.

(Isa 45:5-9) I am the Lord, and there is none else, there is no God beside me: I
girded thee, though thou hast not known me: 6That they may know from the
rising of the sun, and from the west, that there is none beside me. I am the
Lord, and there is none else. 7I form the light, and create darkness: I make
peace, and create evil: I the Lord do all these things. 8Drop down, ye heavens,
from above, and let the skies pour down righteousness: let the earth open, and
let them bring forth salvation, and let righteousness spring up together; I the
Lord have created it. 9Woe unto him that striveth with his Maker!

God the Son is Jesus. Jesus is omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent

God. He witnesses us perpetually, first as a suffering savior in Christ
Crucified and then as a conquering king in Christ Resurrected. Because it
is impossible to die and live again, Christ's soul and body are resurrected
in the Immaculate Heart of Mary Co-Redemptrix. Because he was
crucified on the cross of shame, he has judged the world in his flesh and
concluded it in righteousness based on repentance. He will therefore
judge the quick and the dead on the last day in accordance with his
gospel:

(Isa 53:2-12) For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root
out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see
him, there is no beauty that we should desire him. 3He is despised and rejected
of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our
faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. 4Surely he hath
borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken,
smitten of God, and afflicted. 5But he was wounded for our transgressions, he
was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and
with his stripes we are healed. 6All we like sheep have gone astray; we have
turned every one to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of
194
us all. 7He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth:
he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is
dumb, so he openeth not his mouth. 8He was taken from prison and from
judgment: and who shall declare his generation? for he was cut off out of the
land of the living: for the transgression of my people was he stricken. 9And he
made his grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death; because he had
done no violence, neither was any deceit in his mouth. 10Yet it pleased the
Lord to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an
offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the
pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in his hand. 11He shall see of the travail of
his soul, and shall be satisfied: by his knowledge shall my righteous servant
justify many; for he shall bear their iniquities. 12Therefore will I divide him a
portion with the great, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong; because he
hath poured out his soul unto death: and he was numbered with the
transgressors; and he bare the sin of many, and made intercession for the
transgressors.

The Holy Spirit is the realization of answered prayer, which completes

the Circuit of Faith. The Circuit of Faith is this: first, a prayer is made
unto salvation; then, the prayer ascends up to the throne of God where it
is received by Jesus; then, the Angel descends Jacob's ladder in order to
answer the prayer; finally, the supplicant is made aware of the answered
prayer. This completes the Circuit of Faith. As the Circuit is completed,
we find our whole selves being completed also -- like the Messianic Jews
who discover the fulfillment of Old Testament prophecies in the ministry
of Yeshua:

(Eph 1:13-23) In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth,
the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were
sealed with that holy Spirit of promise, 14Which is the earnest of our
inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, unto the praise of
his glory. 15Wherefore I also, after I heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus, and
love unto all the saints, 16Cease not to give thanks for you, making mention of
you in my prayers; 17That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of
glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge
of him: 18The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know
what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his
inheritance in the saints, 19And what is the exceeding greatness of his power to
us-ward who believe, according to the working of his mighty power, 20Which
he wrought in Christ, when he raised him from the dead, and set him at his own
right hand in the heavenly places, 21Far above all principality, and power, and
might, and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this world, but
also in that which is to come: 22And hath put all things under his feet, and gave
him to be the head over all things to the church, 23Which is his body, the
fulness of him that filleth all in all.
195
Love Can
Love can cause the blind to see;
Love can cause the rose to bloom;
Love can cause the world to be;
Love can leave an empty tomb.

Love can make the desert spring;

Love can make the world go 'round;
Love can make a child's heart sing;
Love can walk on holy ground.

Love can hope for brighter days;

Love can hope for liberty;
Love can hope for joy always;
Love can pray for you and me.

Are Mormons Christians?

No, Mormonism is not just another Protestant heresy. The various
Protestant heresies are not damnable because Protestants actually repent
to God before they are perverted away from Catholic Truth. They are a
Church Invisible, "separated brothers." Mormonism, on the other hand, is
a damnable heresy because they do not repent to God at all. Sure, they
say they're Christians and a quick glance at one of their websites will no
doubt reveal a doctrine that is oftentimes textually consistent with
mainstream Christianity. However, when you dig deeper into their
theology, you will soon realize that the devil in this case resides in
details.

Heresy #1) Mormons don't believe that God created the Universe.
They believe that God was a man who became God by living a perfect
life. This is at variance with Catholicism which states that God became
man and not the other way around. Also, it is at variance with
Catholicism which states that God made the universe, not the other way
around:

(Ge 1:1) In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
196
Heresy #2) Mormons believe that by living a perfect life, they too can
become gods and beget spirit children who will worship them as
such. First of all, who wants the job of someone who is required to have
perpetual and omniscient memory of the cross?!

The only way a man can become a Spirit is if he leaves temporality and
reenters divinity, which is to say, he must become transfigured. Thus,
when Christ was transfigured, he became God. However, the Universe is
not big enough to contain more than one God unless all but one are
corporealized. When Christ died, the Universe died with him which is
why Christ needed to be resurrected. Without the resurrection, eternity is
not possible and without eternity, neither is there temporality. The
Assumption of Mary is therefore necessary because as one God died,
another God must ascend and assume the place of God in Christ's stead.
It is impossible for a God to resurrect himself, but the Queen of Heaven
Coredemptrix resurrected his body and soul (but not his spirit) in her
Immaculate Heart. They essentially took turns being God.

The BVM was never herself transfigured; neither was the historic Mary
who represents the Goddess in scripture. I don't worship Mary the
woman; I worship Mary Shekhinah -- the Goddess who made her! I do
however worship the historic Jesus who was deified at his
Transfiguration, although it was the Virgin who revealed him to me. Let
there be no disparity between our two necessary Saviors! -- I live by the
grace of Christ in the Heart of the Virgin. That would be Catholicism!

So don't worry about becoming 'perfect' enough to be transfigured and

thus obtain omniscient knowledge of Christ's Passion. We will NEVER
know how much it cost to see our sin upon that cross! Neither can there
be more than one Deity at a time as there is no real time for Mary to take
turns with any of us! It only worked the first time because Christ died
and (FYI) we can't!

Which of course brings me to my next point... It is an offence to God to

tell her that we are not perfect. The blood of Christ is perfect and we are
perfected by it in faith. Jesus did not relish his perfection and neither
should we. Therefore, bemoaning one's imperfection is prideful and an
affront to the blood of Christ:

(2 Cor 10:17-18) But he that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord. 18For
not he that commendeth himself is approved, but whom the Lord commendeth.
197
When Jesus died on the cross, he crucified the law to his flesh. It is
impossible to sin in absence of the law. As Paul declares, "All things are
lawful for me" (1 Cor 6:12). And elsewhere, "Christ Jesus hath made me
free from the law" (Rom 8:2). In the book of Romans, Paul likens the
law to a dead husband:

(Rom 7:2-3) For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her
husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the
law of her husband. 3So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to
another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she
is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to
another man.

We are not under the law, but under grace (Rom 6:14). No need to ask
Mary to "pray for us sinners" or make continual confessions to a priest in
hopes of absolution. If the priest tells you to say ten "Hail Marys" and
you get a heart attack on the ninth one, you ain't going to hell. There is
no dispensation of grace at the Eucharist and as for you Protestants, the
return of Spiritual charisms such as tongues (or the anointing) is not a
sign of having been restored to God's grace. Yes, we should crave
spiritual gifts, but we should also recognize that all grace and restoration
was given at Golgotha and that Jesus promised he would never leave us
(even if tongues should cease):

(1 Cor 13:11) When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I

thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

We don't need to become gods because we already are gods (John

10:34). We have limitless power and authority in Christ and there is
nothing that we can't do! Whatever we ask for in Jesus' name is ours. We
have life eternal, a God who loves us, a new heavens and a brand new
earth, the fellowship of angels, true love and joy unspeakable!

As far as spirit children go, there will be no need for them. Heaven is a
smorgasbord of sex. It is rated XXX -- mature audience -- for adults
only, not for the family! Even if we wanted to have spirit children, we
couldn't because we are but one spirit. We can't replicate ourselves --
every child that has ever been born was ordained from beforetime. Some
are ordained for life; others for death -- but when we abort fetuses, we
alter the divine pathway thereby reducing heaven's population -- we're
killing ourselves!:

(Rev 12:4) and the dragon stood before the woman which was ready to be
delivered, for to devour her child as soon as it was born.
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All souls are linked together. We sin together; repent together; and are
raptured together (1 Thess 4:17). But the patchwork balloon cannot beget
another patchwork of souls -- again, no real time for that! To paraphrase
Satchmo, When the saints go marching in, they'll be numbered!

Hence, if we see any children in heaven, they will be projections from

the Church Age -- holographic beings of light (i.e. apparitions).
However, because women by their feminine nature enjoy nurturing and
breastfeeding infants, biologically genuine infants would exist there,
although they would never grow older than about two years which is the
maximum age a child can be without a spirit. Otherwise, it becomes a
homo erectus and who wants to clean up after that? Thus, at the age of
two, they sprout wings and fly away like Da Vinci's angels -- actually,
they just disappear!

So if you enjoy being barefoot and pregnant (and who doesn't?), you will
have ample opportunity in heaven! The curse of childbirth is done away
with along with menstruation and because all wombs are barren, our
heavenly infants will be miraculously conceived of the Holy Ghost just
as Jesus was. Because there is a moratorium on bleeding in heaven (the
only exception being during virgin sex which you will have every time
you receive a new hymen -- which I hear is often in heaven), all
childbirths will be non-vaginal. Instead, the baby will miraculously
appear in its mother's arms just as Jesus did to the historic Virgin Mary --
and in Paradise, there are no laws against public breastfeeding!

The purpose of religion is not to become God; it is to realize your own

Godliness. We are temporal; she is divine -- but we don't have a
subordinate relationship with our Theotokos. It's a marriage -- equal
partners! Of course, if it were at all possible to beget spirit children, we
would teach them to worship Christ, not ourselves!
199
Heresy #3) Mormons believe that Father, Son and Holy Spirit are
three separate gods. They believe that the Persons of the Trinity are
united in purpose, but not in substance. This is at variance with
traditional Christianity which teaches that there is one Godhead in three
Persons. The Holy Ghost is the Miraculous answering of prayer and
Jesus said he was the Father on many occasions. These statements can
only be interpreted literally if the Father is Ultimate Reality:

(John 14:5-9) Thomas saith unto him, Lord, we know not whither thou goest;
and how can we know the way? 6Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth,
and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. 7If ye had known me,
ye should have known my Father also: and from henceforth ye know him, and
have seen him. 8Philip saith unto him, Lord, shew us the Father, and it sufficeth
us. 9Jesus saith unto him, Have I been so long time with you, and yet hast thou
not known me, Philip? he that hath seen me hath seen the Father; and how
sayest thou then, Shew us the Father?
(John 14:21, 24) and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I
will love him, 24He that loveth me not keepeth not my sayings: and the word
which ye hear is not mine, but the Father's which sent me.

Because the relationship between God and believer is marital (Is 61:10,
Rev 19:9) and because Mormons believe in more than one god, all
Mormons are polygamists (even if the modern LDS Church officially
renounces the practice).

Heresy #4) Mormons believe in separate heavens. According to them,

there is a lowest heaven for the unrighteous, an intermediate heaven for
righteous non-Mormons, and a highest heaven for practicing Mormons.
This is at variance with Catholic Tradition. The Roman Church
maintains there are no unrighteous in heaven.

There is no better heaven than the knowledge of Jesus Christ. The notion
that one Christian's eternity is better or worse than another's is therefore
repugnant. If a Catholic went to heaven and learned that there were
people who were struggling with bad habits, psychological problems or
doctrinal misunderstandings, we would request to go and help those
people resolve their issues so that they could experience the blessings of
paradise more perfectly. Ministry will continue in heaven and we will all
be baptized Catholics believing Last Marian Doctrine. We will all be
priests and priestesses with the Blessed Virgin Mary as our Pope. We
Christians are confused and divided now, but all divisions will cease in
heaven. We will all be One with each other as members of one perfect
body -- even the body of Christ! Separate heavens? Forget it! If God told
me I was worthy to go to a higher heaven than my brothers and sisters,
200
I'd tell her to send me to the lowest heaven so that I might help inspire
those still struggling with sin. Paradise is all-for-one and one-for-all!

Heresy #5) Mormons believe that there was a great apostasy in the
Church which the Mormons later restored. I've heard this same "great
apostasy" shit coming out of the Protestant Church too so let me address
this now...

There was never an apostasy in the Catholic Church which any other
church later restored. From the day of Pentecost up until today, the
Roman Catholic Church has been under constant assault from the forces
of darkness. We never forsook the Doctrine during all that time. When
we marched through pagan Europe publishing salvation without a
printing press, we encountered an absolute demonic bedlam par
excellence, the likes of which makes today's world look like a Chuck E.
Cheese parking lot! We faced angry mobs, endured bitter persecutions,
withstood maddening heresies and brutal tortures, and yet by the grace of
God, we united a continent and terraformed a planet in which scarcely
anyone living has yet to hear of a certain Nazarene who led an obscure
Jewish sect on the outskirts of an extinct empire -- and yet we purged
Greco-Roman culture of sexual immorality, dismantled its Pantheon,
turned back Islamic aggression, built Universities, forged alliances,
consolidated power, commissioned timeless masterpieces, all the while
laying the institutional templates for Western civilization so derided by
those who, by virtue of their inheritance of it, have had the distinct
luxury to do so! We stood down Gnosticism, the Great Schism,
Protestantism, Humanism, Darwinism, Fascism, Communism,
Secularism, Modernism, Postmodernism, and every other mind-bending
"ism" the Devil could throw at us and overcame them all by the blood of
the Lamb and intercession of Mary!

The success of a Church can be measured by the number of unfaithful in

attendance; and the RC Church is so structured and rules-based as to
facilitate the hell-bound, without 'officially' shirking the tenets of the
faith. And yet throughout it all, we never forsook the Doctrine of Mary.

Was there ever a Catholic Apostasy? Let's ask Jesus:

(Matt 16:18) And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I
will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.

No, the Christian Church never fell into apostasy as the Mormons claim.
In order for the B.V.M. to create the world, Peter had to repent. If he
201
didn't repent, Mary would become subject to Peter's sin and wouldn't live
long enough to create a toothpick much less the eternal cosmos.
Therefore, all Christians enter the world at the moment of repentance and
the world prior to that was constructed around that moment. We are all
the Immaculate Conception and Mary the Immaculate Conception
created the world:

(Isa 1:9) Except the Lord of hosts had left unto us a very small remnant, we
should have been as Sodom, and we should have been like unto Gomorrah.

Heresy #6) Mormons believe that the Bible is flawed. Their founder
Joseph Smith made over 600 corrections to it. This is at variance with
traditional Catholicism, which regards scripture as divinely inspired
(divinitus inspirata).

Heresy #7) Mormons believe that the Book of Mormon is canonical.

Only Jesus Christ can declare a book to be canonical and he conferred
Apostolic Authority on St. Peter who himself canonized the Pauline
Epistles (2 Pet 3:15-16). Paul writes that a prophet cannot contradict the
Bible:

(1 Cor 14:32-33; 37) And the spirits of the prophets are subject to the prophets.
33For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, 37If any man think
himself to be a prophet, or spiritual, let him acknowledge that the things that I
write unto you are the commandments of the Lord.

The Successor of St. Peter, Pope Saint Damasus I, ratified the canon
when he commissioned the Latin Vulgate translation of St. Jerome. The
Bible contradicts the Book of Mormon. Therefore, it cannot be canonized
by the Apostolic Church.

Heresy #8) Mormons baptize the dead. Although you wouldn't know it
by watching one of their rigid liturgical services, everyone in the
Catholic Church is alive:

(Mr 12:27) He is not the God of the dead, but the God of the living:

The Requiem Mass, which dates back to medieval times, has been
characterized as a communion taken on behalf of the dead. Likewise,
Paul also makes mention of a cult of worshippers who baptized
themselves for the dead without fully explaining the practice:

(1 Cor 15:29) Else what shall they do which are baptized for the dead, if the
dead rise not at all? why are they then baptized for the dead?
202
My guess is, these were political baptisms, but in either case, we don't
baptize the dead:

Requiem Mass Offertory

Domine, Jesu Christe, Rex gloriæ, Lord Jesus Christ, King of

libera animas omnium fidelium glory, free the souls of all the faithful
defunctorum de pœnis inferni et de departed from infernal punishment
profundo lacu. and the deep pit.

Libera eas de ore leonis, ne absorbeat Free them from the mouth of the lion;
eas tartarus, ne cadant in obscurum; do not let Tartarus swallow them, nor
sed signifer sanctus Michæl let them fall into darkness; but may
repræsentet eas in lucem sanctam, the sign-bearer, Saint Michael, lead
quam olim Abrahæ promisisti et them into the holy light which you
semini ejus. promised to Abraham and his seed.

Hostias et preces tibi, Domine, laudis
offerimus; tu suscipe pro animabus
illis, quarum hodie memoriam
facimus. Fac eas, Domine, de morte
transire ad vitam. Quam olim Abrahæ
promisisti et semini ejus.
O Lord, we offer you sacrifices and
prayers in praise; accept them on
behalf of the souls whom we
remember today. Make them pass
over from death to life, as you
promised to Abraham and his seed.

CONGREGATION FOR THE DOCTRINE OF THE FAITH

RESPONSE TO A 'DUBIUM' on the validity of baptism conferred by

«The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints», called «Mormons»

Question: Whether the baptism conferred by the community «The Church of

Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints», called «Mormons» in the vernacular, is
valid.

Response: Negative.

The Supreme Pontiff John Paul II, in the Audience granted to the undersigned
Cardinal Prefect, approved the present Response, decided in the Sessione
Ordinaria of this Congregation, and ordered it published.

From the Offices of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith,
5 June 2001.

+ Joseph Cardinal RATZINGER, Prefect

203
Heresy #666) Mormons don't believe that God is omnipresent.
Although the preceding heresies of the LDS Church are severe, it is quite
possible to believe in any or all of them and yet still be a saved Christian
(albeit a horrendously confused one). Purgatory will no doubt straighten
out these confusions. However, there is one Mormon heresy that is
damnable and cannot be forgiven -- the Mormon tenet that God is not
omnipresent:

The Holy Ghost as a personage of Spirit can no more be omnipresent in

person than can the Father or the Son, but by his intelligence, his knowledge,
his power and influence, over and through the laws of nature, he is and can be
omnipresent throughout all the works of God
(Aaronic Priesthood Manual 3)

But why is this anathema maranatha? Because if God is not

omnipresent, then there are things he doesn't see which means he cannot
be omniscient. If God is not omniscient, then there are things he cannot
do which means he cannot be omnipotent. If God is neither omnipotent,
omniscient nor omnipresent, then who do Mormons repent to? Here's a
hint: it ain't God! -- and if you don't repent to God, Our Lady of Etreme
Stupidity won't know to redeem you:

(Ezr 10:11) Now therefore make confession unto the Lord God of your fathers,
and do his pleasure: and separate yourselves from the people of the land, and
from the strange wives.

In 2nd Corinthians, Paul warns against a Church that would preach a

different Jesus. He may as well have been speaking about the
LDS Church:

(2 Cor. 11:3-4; 6) But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve
through his subtilty, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that
is in Christ. 4For if he that cometh preacheth another Jesus, whom we have not
preached, or if ye receive another spirit, which ye have not received, or another
gospel, which ye have not accepted, ye might well bear with him. 6But though
I be rude in speech, yet not in knowledge; but we have been throughly made
manifest among you in all things.
204

Are JWs Saved?

Yes, their faith is valid.

Jehovah's Witnesses wrongly believe that Christ was the Archangel

Michael who was slain for mankind's sins on a torture stake. How can
you tie someone to a torture stake if they don't have a corporeal body?
No flesh = no torture; no blood = no salvation.

Yet technically, this faith is sufficient because they believe that their sins
caused the vicarious death of the Angel for which they repent to a
Father-God who is omnipresent. Simply put, this is the spirit of the
antichrist, which is to say that Christ did not come in the flesh. It is a
heresy of course, but not a damnable one within the inane framework of
JW cosmology. Likewise, the Apostle Paul also encountered a cult of
worshippers who had repented to John but hadn't yet received the Word
Incarnate:

(Ac 19:1-6) And it came to pass, that, while Apollos was at Corinth, Paul
having passed through the upper coasts came to Ephesus: and finding certain
disciples, 2He said unto them, Have ye received the Holy Ghost since ye
believed? And they said unto him, We have not so much as heard whether there
be any Holy Ghost. 3And he said unto them, Unto what then were ye baptized?
And they said, Unto John's baptism. 4Then said Paul, John verily baptized with
the baptism of repentance, saying unto the people, that they should believe on
him which should come after him, that is, on Christ Jesus. 5When they heard
this, they were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus. 6And when Paul had
laid his hands upon them, the Holy Ghost came on them; and they spake with
tongues, and prophesied.

That they believe Jesus is Michael is irrelevant to the gospel. In my

prayers, I rarely call Jesus by his true name Yeshua and he doesn't mind.
As long as you repent to the "Great Spirit," it doesn't matter if you think
he's the Great Pumpkin!

In short, JWs are saved albeit they get into heaven on a technicality -- but
then again, don't we all?
205

Is Scientology a Cult?
Does it sound like one to you?:

THE RELIGIOUS HERITAGE OF SCIENTOLOGY

Like the philosophers of Greece, India and China, the Hebrews, too, sought to
define the meaning of life. According to Jewish tradition, it was Abraham who
first gained a special understanding of what lay at the heart of the universe and
from that revelation came a belief in a personal god. He further believed that
beneath the seemingly endless variety of life lay a single purpose, a single
reality.
Judaism is the mother religion of both Christianity and Islam -- the three
dominant faiths in the Western world.
Two thousand years ago, Jesus of Nazareth brought new hope to man by
preaching that this life was not all men might hope for, that man was more than
only flesh and would continue to live, even after death. Implicit in his message
was the promise of salvation from suffering and a promise of eternal peace.
At odds with the teachings of Jesus was traditional rabbinical belief that
salvation would not come until the advent of a distant Messiah. Hence, the
special appeal of Christ's message that the Kingdom of God was not only at
hand, but lay within all those with faith.
Long fearing popular revolt, the Romans equated Christ's words with political
insurrection. Rome had decreed that nothing should be held above imperial
order and thus viewed Christ's wholly spiritual message as dangerously
revolutionary, particularly his talk of the coming Kingdom.
Though crucified, the hope that Christ brought to man did not die. Instead, his
death became symbolic of the triumph of the spirit over the material body and
so brought a new awareness of man's true nature.
(http://www.whatisscientology.org/)

I couldn't have put it better myself!

And by the way, I've noticed that some Protestinks like to make a habit
out of branding other people's religions as cults! If yours is the only true
religion, then what does that make you?!
206

The Cult of Self-Realization

I think therefore I am
But what am I apart from you?
A feral child in a cosmic void?
Unaware of herself as a person?
I think therefore I am, no doubt
I AM therefore I think!

I AM before I think!
But to think requires self-realization!
I must know THAT I AM before I know THAT I THINK
But self-realization
requires an external reality
distinct from myself
from which to delineate myself

Distinct in its motions:

I cannot know THAT I AM in a static void
That would be non-existence
I cannot know THAT I AM in a silopsic reality
That would be non-distinction (a form of non-existence)
There must be something in cosmology that moves apart from my intent
which itself reflects the intent of another beside me
YOU ARE THEREFORE I AM
I AM THEREFORE GOD IS

If my will were the only will in the Universe

Everything in the Universe would move according to my will
Which would make me indistinguishable for the External Universe
Which in turn would render me unaware of myself as a distinct entity
Which would render me non-existent
But life requires Witness
And Witness requires a distinct being
With a distinct will
A distinct intent
A distinct
love
207
"Ye are my witnesses, saith the Lord, and my servant whom I have chosen: that
ye may know and believe me, and understand that I am he: before me there was
no God formed, neither shall there be after me."

What is TRUTH?
TRUTH is as terrifyingly easy to believe
as it is to doubt

What is SIN?
SIN is the intellectual abandonment of oneself
CONVERSION is the intellectual embrace of oneself
The soul that sins dies; but whoever converts to Yahweh lives!

"And when he was demanded of the Pharisees, when the kingdom of God
should come, he answered them and said, The kingdom of God cometh not
with observation: Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the
kingdom of God is within you."

Who knew that Christianity was a self-realization cult in disguise!

Or are these whacky self-realization cults Christians by another name?

Protestink!
(Jer 10:14) Every man is brutish in his knowledge: every founder is
confounded by the graven image: for his molten image is falsehood, and there
is no breath in them.

Every Protestink is 'brutish in his knowledge' because they perpetuate the

laughable (if it weren't so funny!) myth of male deity to the willful
ignorance of the BVM.

They swagger in their reproach of Catholic Dogma and pitch their

religion with mindlessly poetic slogans such as sola fide and sola
scriptura in order to pick off weaker Catholics by the strength of their
self-willed conviction and the directness of their maniacally streamlined
tenets. They are all icing and no cake, but the soufflé collapses when the
religulous types start asking all the right questions and all you got is 'just
trust' and a holy spirit only you can see.

Sola scriptura is intellectually bereft and sola fide is the moral equivalent
of 'I already gave.' Did the Bible write itself? Did the Bible thump itself?
Did the Bible create the Universe and then die for it? If anyone says sola
208
scriptura, they blaspheme the Holy Spirit. We could stop here, but let's
continue...

Protestantism has many founders and 'every founder is confounded by the graven
image' of Mary whom they consider to be a neo-pagan corruption of the
'true faith' as revealed in the Bible Luther redacted -- 'for his molten image is
[the accusation of] falsehood' levied against the Catholic Faith for every
conceivable doctrine. They proclaim themselves pious but are full of
doubtful disputations. They refer to their disobedience and schism as the
"Reformation" which then led to the "Counter-Reformation" in the
Catholic Church, but this is entirely untrue. Erasmus was every bit the
reformer as Luther and the Catholic Church was already in the midst of
reforming itself before Luther nailed his feces to the door of Wittenburg's
church, branding Pope Leo X as the Antichrist and commissioning the
most vile cartoons of the Holy Father (one of which depicts the pontiff
sucking Medusa's breasts!)

There's a reason why you've never read Luther's feces -- its level of
nonsensicalness can only be adequately described as 'Lilliputian' (and
what's worse -- it's a snore-fest!) If only Luther would have opened his
beloved scriptura, he would have certainly learned that the "antichrist" is
"every spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh" (1
John 4:3). Now the Protestants proudly proclaim that the flesh of Jesus
Christ is not present in the Eucharistic Elements. So who is the
Antichrist? -- 'there is no breath [of the Holy Spirit] in them.'

(1 Cor 11:29) For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh
damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord's body.

A Letter from St. Jerome to

Pope Saint Damasus I
My words are spoken to the successor of the fisherman, to the disciple of
the cross. As I follow no leader save Christ, so I communicate with none
but your blessedness, that is with the chair of Peter. For this, I know, is
the rock on which the church is built! This is the house where alone the
paschal lamb can be rightly eaten. This is the ark of Noah, and he who is
not found in it shall perish when the flood prevails.
209

Jesus Didn't Die For My Sins!!

Since I'm alone
Since nobody knows
Since nobody's stopping me
Since everyone else is doing it
Since I can
Since it's legal
Since they're never gonna see me again anyway
Since no one can hear me
Since no one can understand me
Since it doesn't matter anyway
Since we've always done it
Since we've never done it
Since I'm gonna die anyway

No, Jesus didn't die for my sins

He died for my 'since'...

Bad Religion
The Church approves a Marian apparition
only after they fail to suppress it
and not until they edit her message.

The truth shall set you free,

but it won't let you go.

If you're not prepared to open your mind,

don't bother opening your Bible.

A Baptist belittles the Nicene Creed

before basing his own theology on a senseless slogan.

Baptists accuse Catholics of being the antichrist

before denying the presence of Christ in the Eucharist.
210
Baptists say that Catholic Bibles have extra books
before trying to sell you their own annotated study Bible.

A Baptist derides the gift of tongues

before delivering a sermon that makes less sense.

A Baptist can give you hell's floor plan

but cannot show you the exit door.

The word 'Eucharist' sounds too much like 'Christ',

which is why Baptists call it the 'Lord's Supper'.

Anyone who says the Bible is a closed canon

probably has a closed Bible.

If women can't be priests,

then their children shouldn't be either!

If you take the Bible literally,

then you cannot take it seriously.

If Mary is Coredemptrix for giving birth to Jesus,

then every priest's mother is a co-priest!

Faith is the difference

between bravery from bravado;
Faith is the difference
between safety and salvation;
Faith is the difference
between affection and lust;
Faith is the difference
between desire and wantonness;
Faith is the difference
between obsession and meditation;
Faith is the difference
between healing and coping;
Faith is the difference
between moderation and deprivation;
Faith is the difference
between forgiveness and tolerance.
211
The Shakespeare Code
Why is the letter r the most important letter of the alphabet?
Because without it, mercy would be messy; and with it, Mary may marry.

Before I converted, lots of crazy Christians would invite me to their

churches and tell me to read the Bible, but my 'Nevada Smith' attitude
was, I don't bother Him, He don't bother me. Then I went to grad school
in California -- UCLA -- met a Korean girl who asked me to go to
church with her. Most Koreans south of the DMZ are Presbyterians now
thanks in part to American military and missionary involvement there.
But would Jesus have been able to save their souls had the 'Chosun few'
failed to save Seoul?

I told her I didn't have time to go to church. She told me that my time
didn't belong to me. Within one year, not only was I going to three
different churches a week, I was giving people rides! -- it's amazing how
your schedule clears when you know you're going to live forever!

Some fundies believe that the King James is the only legitimate
translation. I couldn't disagree more.

Still others believe that the King James Version is an inspired translation,
much like the first century Jews did with regard to their Septuagint
(before they adjusted the definitions of their own language in a flimsy
attempt to mollify OT prophecies concerning the Messiah). 'Thou shalt
not kill' doesn't mean 'Thou shalt not murder'; 'A virgin shall conceive'
doesn't mean 'A young woman shall conceive' -- the Septuagint (so-
named for the 70 translators who, while working independently of each
other, miraculously arrived at the same translation) is the oldest extant
translation of the OT, still in use by the Greek Orthodox Religion as they
received it from the original Apostles who quoted it extensively in the
NT.

Of course, it is of no cosmological import whether or not the historic

Virgin Mary was a virgin or not as her narrative is symbolic of the
Goddess Shekhinah. Jesus would have been LORD and Savior either
way. But the spirit who communicates with me says that she was in fact
a virgin who conceived by the Holy Spirit. If the spirit is correct (and
there's no way for me to tell) then where did the sperm come from? God
can only create the world once and if the Holy Spirit created the sperm
212
that impregnated Mary, it would require a secondary act of creation
which Shekhinah cannot do on the Cosmic Sabbath (not to mention the
Nicene stipulation that our LORD was begotten, not made). Hence,
Shekhinah must have used DNA already extant in the universe -- but
from where (or rather, from whom?) She could've taken it from
Abraham, David, any of the patriarchs, a primordial human, perhaps
even one of us! But the spirit says she took it from Joseph. Thus,
according to the spirit, Mary was inseminated with Joseph's DNA
without any orgasm on either parent's part; and just as Jesus was able to
walk through a locked door after the Resurrection (John 20:19), the
Christ-child was removed by the power of the Holy Ghost from Mary's
womb without any rupture of the holy hymen.

Both Catholics and Protestants are in agreement that the Virgin birth is a
matter of history. Although I see no cosmic necessity for it, I see no
reason why it couldn't happen. As to the Perpetual Virginity of the
historic Mary, let's keep in mind that LORD Mary is Ever Virgin either
way. She is pure and chaste -- not in the flesh, but in the spirit! The
Gospel doesn't say anything about perpetual virginity and as any
Protestink will tell you, our Lord had brothers and sisters (Mark 6:3), and
yes, I'm aware of the Catholic rebuttal (Jam 1:2). However, it is idolatry
to regard a flesh-and-blood human being as the Queen of Heaven and I
condemn any Cat-oholic 'veneration' of the human Mary who was
nothing more than a vessel. Either Mary is Shekhinah or she is corporeal
-- she can't be both!

If you just gave birth to the Messiah, would you want another child after
that? If you were married to the Mother of God, would you have sex with
her? Both Mary and Joseph were visited by the angel and both
understood their ministry -- and yet didn't the angel say to Joseph, "fear
not to take unto thee Mary thy wife" (Matt 1:20) and we know what the
word 'unto' means! (Gen 19:5; 38:2; Hos 1:2). Who knows? -- maybe
Mary's wearing Victoria's Secret panties with a stitch monogram that
says: Do not open 'til Xmas!:

Hail, virgin, if you be, as those cheek-roses

Proclaim you are no less!
(Shakespeare: Measure for Measure I.IV.17-18)

Now there's no question in my mind that the KJV is every bit as inspired
as the Septuagint. But then again, I believe the complete works of
Shakespeare are as well! The British Isles have proved to literature what
Vienna has aspired to in music, but seldom hath any crawled out from
213
beneath the long, looming shadow of the Great Bard (present company
excluded!):

I am no viper, yet I feed

On mother's flesh which did me breed.
I sought a husband, in which labour
I found that kindness in a father:
He's father, son, and husband mild;
I mother, wife, and yet his child.
How they may be, and yet in two,
As you will live, resolve it you.
(Shakespeare: Pericles, Prince of Tyre I.I.64-70)

That Shakespeare aided in the stylistic syncretization of the KJV

is a matter of no small controversy to be sure; and yet it seems entirely
unconscionable to me that the Blessed Virgin wouldn't employ so great a
literary talent in what has become so monumental a work -- and then
there is Psalm 46.

In his 1990 biography You've Had Your Time, Anthony Burgess (best-
known for his modernist satire A Clockwork Orange), revealed the
famous Shakespearean signature embedded in the 46th Psalm. Of course,
if this code were deliberately implanted into the text, it would would
have to be one of the bestkept secrets in all of human history!

The code is revealed when, discounting the word Selah (a liturgico-

musical punctuation mark), if you count 46 words from the beginning of
the 46th Psalm, you will find the word shake whereas the 46th word from
the end of the psalm is spear. Add to that the fact that Shakespeare
himself was 46 years old at the time that the King James was being
revised, having likely been born on St. George's Day 1564.

Of course, Shakespeare was favored by the Jamesian court who had

previously appointed his company as the 'king's players' and it would
have been inconceivable had the translation committee not consulted him
with regard to the overall tenor and style of a text whose explicit design
was to supplant all previous translations and fortify Anglican culture
against Rome. To this day, the British Monarch is Head of the
Parliament, the Navy, the Commonwealth, and the Anglican Church; the
United Kingdom is just that -- a kingdom. The Royal Family cannot be
prosecuted for any crime; nor has there ever been a non-Anglican Prime
Minister. Everywhere else in the free world, the KJV is public domain
but in 'jolly-ole' England, it is under perpetual crown copyright; and as I
214
pen these phrases from St. James Parish (Montego Bay), Her Majesty
Queen Elizabeth II is my Sovereign. WHY??

TO THE MOST HIGH AND MIGHTY PRINCE JAMES, BY THE GRACE

OF GOD, KING OF GREAT BRITAIN, FRANCE, AND IRELAND,
DEFENDER OF THE FAITH, ETC.

THE TRANSLATORS OF THE BIBLE WISH GRACE, MERCY, AND

PEACE, THROUGH JESUS CHRIST OUR LORD.

G
REAT and manifold were the blessings, most dread Sovereign, which
Almighty God, the Father of all mercies, bestowed upon us the people
of England, when first he sent Your Majesty's Royal Person to rule and
reign over us. For whereas it was the expectation of many, who wished not well
unto our Sion, that upon the setting of that bright Occidental Star, Queen
Elizabeth of most happy memory, some thick and palpable clouds of darkness
would so have overshadowed this Land, that men should have been in doubt
which way they were to walk; and that it should hardly be known, who was to
direct the unsettled State; the appearance of your Majesty, as the Sun in his
strength, instantly dispelled those supposed and surmised mists, and gave unto
all that were well affected exceeding cause of comfort; especially when we
beheld the Government established in Your Highness, and Your hopeful Seed,
by an undoubted Title; and this also accompanied with peace and tranquillity at
home and abroad.

In other words, We're the ones we've been waiting for!

The other Shakespearian signature occurs in the waning verses of the

Book of Job:

(Job 41:29) Darts are counted as stubble: he laugheth at the shaking of

a spear.

So is God laughing at the Great Bard? -- or would that be a comedy of

errors? The King James Version used as its source texts the Masoretic
text and the Textus Recepticus; and the Septuagint; and were cognizant
of other English-language translations that were en vogue at the time.
Political considerations also played a role in the language of the
Authorized Version as the word 'king' appears 2540 times while the
politically-charged word 'tyrant' is never evoked. However, if you
examine the shaking spear as it appears in the Latin Vulgate, you'll find
the words vibrantem hastam (vibrant staff):

19 non fugabit eum vir sagittarius in stipulam versi sunt ei lapides fundae 20
quasi stipulam aestimabit malleum et deridebit vibrantem hastam
(Vulgate, Job 41:19-20)
215
But did St. Jerome prophetically anoint the vibrant staff who, more than
a millennium later, would afford the Anglican translation its stylistic
patina? Let's take another look at the vibrant staff passage, but this time,
let's treat the preceding 10 words as an acronym removing every 5th letter
(q; d) as if they were the spaces between words:

Sunt Ei Lapides Fundae quasi Stipulam Aestimabit Malleum Et deridebit

VIBRANTEM HASTAM

Perhaps this is much ado about nothing, but before we declare love's
labour lost, let us first recall Isabella's tempestuous soliloquy which
concludes Act II of the religious farce Measure for Measure:

To whom should I complain? Did I tell this,

Who would believe me? O perilous mouths,
That bear in them one and the self-same tongue,
(Shakespeare: Measure for Measure: II.IV.183-185)

Exeunt!

The Contestant
(Contest rules: 10-20 lines -- no repeated words)

Obsessed with winning

I write these tortured metaphors
Blinded by success
(Or was it the fear of failure?)
Either way, I'm driven
Pushing forward toward my award
Without any repeated words
(As if they were paid for)
Ahhh... one more line to go
Before it's all over...
216

Blake's Take
Excerpt from William Blake's 'A Vision of the Last Judgment'

Error is Created.
Truth is Eternal.
Error, or Creation, will be Burned up,
& then, & not till Then, Truth or Eternity will appear.
It is Burnt up the Moment Men cease to behold it.

I assert for My Self that I do not behold the outward Creation

& that to me it is hindrance & not Action;
it is as the Dirt upon my feet, No part of Me.

"What," it will be Question'd, "When the Sun rises,

do you not see a round disk of fire somewhat like a Guinea?"
Oh no, no, I see an Innumerable company of the Heavenly host crying,
'Holy, Holy, Holy, is the Lord God Almighty.'

I question not my Corporeal or Vegetative Eye

any more than I would Question a Window concerning Sight.
I look thro' it & not with it.

Gangster Gospel
A gangster dies and goes to heaven.
"Why is heaven so cold?" he asks.
God answers, "This isn't heaven, this is Sweden!"
"Sweden!" he responds, "I thought this was Southwest Eden!"

Is it possible to prove what cannot be disproven? If so, then by what

means would you prove it?

God cannot prove herself to the scientific community so long as they

cling to scientific method.
Scientific method requires the repetition of an experiment in order to
validate its hypothesis.
God doesn't repeat.
217
If God destroyed the Universe in order to create it again (thus
establishing her existence via scientific method), every scientist in the
Universe would die in the experiment.

Scientific method is a joke; it cannot prove anything.

It is a sin for anyone to practise scientific method; it is a sin for any
teacher to teach scientific method; it is a sin for any student to employ
this technique: An object in hell tends to stay in hell!

There is one stipulation of science that is correct: that truth can be

discerned by observation.
Open your eyes and behold your God and my God!
Confess your sins to a forgiving Universe and you will know her as
you are known by her!

There is only one sin that a man can commit and all have committed
this original sin as I myself have: disbelief in the God of Creation.
Anyone of any faith tradition who realizes this has de facto repented of
their ignorance of it and accepts the salvation offered by it through the
vicarious suffering inflicted upon it!
Jews, Christians, Muslims -- whatever you want to call yourselves, I've
no problem whatsoever (nor does the deity!) so long as you repent to
your Maker!:

(Mic 4:4-5) But they shall sit every man under his vine and under his fig tree;
and none shall make them afraid: for the mouth of the Lord of hosts hath
spoken it. 5For all people will walk every one in the name of his god, and we
will walk in the name of the Lord our God for ever and ever.

The Doors
Imagine waking up in a room with infinite doors leading out of it.
Because life is contigent on motion, you must continually walk through
these doors in order to survive.
Such is choice.

You choose whether or not to live and hence which one of the infinite
doors to walk through; and each time you make this choice (which you
perpetually make), you close the doors on the possible Universes that
existed in divinity but not in reality.
218
Every decision you make aborts the ones you didn't; and these
abortions (like the murdered souls of the unborn slain) reside in a infinite
graveyard that never exactly came to fruition.

I have sinned by my own fault in thought, word, and deed, in

things done and left undone;
(The Book of Common Prayer)

However, as life requires choice; choice requires purpose.

There must be something behind the door of choice worth forsaking all
other possibilities.
Hence, there must be a divine moment of allseeing contemplation
wherein all potential realities are ever before us, but temporally
nonexistent the moment we make the divine choice; and since
consciousness is evinced of temporality, there is never an exact time
when all of these infinitely-possible alternate universes ever really
existed.
Any way you slice it, consciousness requires the ability to do
something before having done it.

Sin was conceived in divinity and born in temporality -- let there be no

more false-debate over whether or not we chose sin or were born sinning
-- both are true! We were born having done what we did; before Satan
was, I AM!:

(Matt 16:23) But he turned, and said unto Peter, Get thee behind me, Satan:
thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God,
but those that be of men.

Now thank we all our God that though were were born sinning, we
have received (by the grace that is in Christ) the real opportunity to
become born again in obedience to faith:

You know that it would be untrue

You know that I would be a liar
If I was to say to you
Girl, we couldn't get much higher
Come on baby, light my fire
Come on baby, light my fire
Try to set the night on fire
219
The time to hesitate is through
No time to wallow in the mire
Try now we can only lose
And our love become a funeral pyre
Come on baby, light my fire
Come on baby, light my fire
Try to set the night on fire, yeah
(Jim Morrison: Light my Fire)

However, just as life requires desire, there must be an 'object of desire'

which perpetually elicits that desire without constraining it.
Such is inspiration.

The purpose of creation is to inspire man to love God.

But man sinned against creation beforetime and thus found himself in a
nonproverbial 'world of hurt' which was inspired by the initial rebellion.
We had infinite doors (vis-à-vis infinite realities!) to choose from and
we (as an inextricable patchwork of souls) chose the one marked 'No
Trespassing'.

God has no idea why Adam ate the verboten fruit; were there a good
reason for it, it wouldn't be sin.
Psychiatry errs where it seeks rational causes for irrational behaviors.
Not even Solomon in his glorific wisdom was able to understand the
method of madness:

(Ecc 1:17) And I gave my heart to know wisdom, and to know madness and
folly: I perceived that this also is vexation of spirit.

The only way to curb disobedience is through a secondary act of

disobedience which, having disobeyed itself, becomes obedient!
Like Tom Sawyer, if you want your kids to whitewash the fence, tell'em
they can't!
Islam means submission; Christianity means defiance; Islam is the
right religion in the wrong Universe.
Just as all Christians are a patchwork Adam; all Muslims are a
patchwork Christ, perpetually martyring themselves for the sake of the
elect -- but unlike Christ, these are born unrighteous (which is why the
Angel Gabriel deceived Muhammad with a Qur'an designed to constrain
the impact of mankind's sin on the Universe.
There is no salvation for Muslims, Jews, false Christians or Jesus
Christ -- they became our sin; we drink their Blood! -- and just as Christ
was obedient to the will of the Father on the cross of shame, Muhammad
(pbuh) was his Prophet!:
220
Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?
(My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?)

lā 'ilāha 'illallāh muhammadur-rasūlullāh

(There is no god but God; Muhammad is the Messenger of God.)

But America is a city on a hill; a white house in Mary's land: forged in

rebellion, tempered by violence.
War is as American as apple pie; and if this our generation shrinks
from the mantle of warfare handed us by the sons of liberty and the
daughters of the revolution, then our botched oath will invalidate the
holy office for which we have all been elected.

How does God use creation to inspire us to worship her?

Remember the room with infinite doors?
God can't make us decide which door to walk through, but she can
arrange the furniture in the room, which in turn, guides our decision
(such that a different arrangement would inspire in us a divergent path
which never exactly happened).
Since we are not aware of the divergent reality, neither is God; but
since the purpose of God is to bless humanity (as she herself is blessed in
us!), we are evinced that the world in which we live is the 'best of all
possible worlds' given the horror of sin.

In an alternate universe, I wouldn't be Peter the Roman; I'd be Joe the

Plumber -- and yet, as the Arizona State Senator pointed out the day that
Joe didn't show (which would make him a no-joe!), we're all Joe the
Plumber! (and I hope nobody accuses me of jocialism for saying this!)

But it is not for the pot to say to the potter, What makest thou? (Is
45:9); nor is it mete to judge another man's servant (Rom 14:4); just as
we make decisions based on the furniture in the room, God arranges the
furniture based on what we decide once we decide it.
Inasmuch as God inspires us, we inspire her; inasmuch as we awake in
the situation we chose, God is temporally unaware of the decisions she
made that inspired us to enter that situation wherein we now find
ourselves -- the temporal hand knoweth not what the divine hand is
doing!
Nevertheless, God did not inspire heaven's rebellion, having found sin
already extant in the Universe from the moment of her Immaculate
Conception.
221
When God created the world, she saw that it was good (Gen 1:31), but
Cain hijacked creation and used it as a weapon against Abel:

(Eze 28:12-19) Son of man, take up a lamentation upon the king of Tyrus,
and say unto him, Thus saith the Lord God; Thou sealest up the sum, full of
wisdom, and perfect in beauty.
13Thou hast been in Eden the garden of God; every precious stone was thy
covering, the sardius, topaz, and the diamond, the beryl, the onyx, and the
jasper, the sapphire, the emerald, and the carbuncle, and gold: the workmanship
of thy tabrets and of thy pipes was prepared in thee in the day that thou wast
created.
14Thou art the anointed cherub that covereth; and I have set thee so: thou
wast upon the holy mountain of God; thou hast walked up and down in the
midst of the stones of fire.
15Thou wast perfect in thy ways from the day that thou wast created, till
iniquity was found in thee.
16By the multitude of thy merchandise they have filled the midst of thee with
violence, and thou hast sinned: therefore I will cast thee as profane out of the
mountain of God: and I will destroy thee, O covering cherub, from the midst of
the stones of fire.
17Thine heart was lifted up because of thy beauty, thou hast corrupted thy
wisdom by reason of thy brightness: I will cast thee to the ground, I will lay
thee before kings, that they may behold thee.
18Thou hast defiled thy sanctuaries by the multitude of thine iniquities, by
the iniquity of thy traffic; therefore will I bring forth a fire from the midst of
thee, it shall devour thee, and I will bring thee to ashes upon the earth in the
sight of all them that behold thee.
19All they that know thee among the people shall be astonished at thee: thou
shalt be a terror, and never shalt thou be any more.

Here is a mystery: Man sinned from the beginning -- a rebel without a

cause!; and just as God did not tell, tempt or provoke Adam to err, so too
did the Blessed Virgin not in any way command Jesus to die for man's
sins.
Christ's love is as unfettered as Adam's hatred -- he is a savior without
as cause!
He was the freewill offering, having saved the world before the BVM
was conceived immaculate by virtue of his blood!
The Cosmic Marriage Supper of the Lamb required the wine of his
blood necessarily independent of the BVM before the foundation of the
world!:

(John 2:1-5, 11) And the third day there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee;
and the mother of Jesus was there: 2And both Jesus was called, and his
disciples, to the marriage. 3And when they wanted wine, the mother of Jesus
saith unto him, They have no wine. 4Jesus saith unto her, Woman, what have I
to do with thee? mine hour is not yet come. 5His mother saith unto the servants,
Whatsoever he saith unto you, do it. 11This beginning of miracles did Jesus in
222
Cana of Galilee, and manifested forth his glory; and his disciples believed on
him.

Jesus (and none other!) made the decision to become the Passover
Sacrifice for man before the foundation of the world!
He judged the world in his flesh, concluding it in righteousness!
He is the King of Kings and the Conquering Lion of Judah!
Without him was not anything made that was made (John 1:3) and the
government shall be upon his shoulder (Is 9:6)!:

(Gen 49:8-12) Judah, thou art he whom thy brethren shall praise: thy hand shall
be in the neck of thine enemies; thy father's children shall bow down before
thee. 9Judah is a lion's whelp: from the prey, my son, thou art gone up: he
stooped down, he couched as a lion, and as an old lion; who shall rouse him
up? 10The sceptre shall not depart from Judah, nor a lawgiver from between his
feet, until Shiloh come; and unto him shall the gathering of the people be.
11Binding his foal unto the vine, and his ass's colt unto the choice vine; he
washed his garments in wine, and his clothes in the blood of grapes: 12His eyes
shall be red with wine, and his teeth white with milk.

The Word of God was with God and is God!

Like us, He was born doing what he already did!
He leapt onto the cross! -- the son of a carpenter who spent his early
childhood hammering nails into wood; and the only person in human
history who actually was born ready!!:

(Luke 12:49) I am come to send fire on the earth; and what will I, if it be
already kindled? 50But I have a baptism to be baptized with; and how am I
straitened till it be accomplished!

No! God did not ordain evil!

She did not command sin, nor did she inspire it or tempt us in any way
whatsoever; nevertheless, once we had already sinned from the
beginning, she did inspire the direction that our sin would take in this
world for the sake if the gospel.
One sinner is directed to homosexuality, another to homicide; if the
Blessed Virgin puts them in the same room with a loaded gun, she has no
idea what will happen -- she only knows that the Universe just became a
better place!

The purpose of the Universe is two-fold: First, redeem all Christians

by transmuting their sins onto Christ's body; Second, resurrect all
Christians in eternal paradise.
Today, we live in the age of redemption; tomorrow in glory! -- but
when the harvest is past, all of Creation will be violently shaken and a
223
new heavens and new earth will emerge as the Universe concludes its
primary ministry and commences with the business of pleasure!:

(Ezek 34:25-27) And I will make with them a covenant of peace, and will
cause the evil beasts to cease out of the land: and they shall dwell safely in the
wilderness, and sleep in the woods. 26And I will make them and the places
round about my hill a blessing; and I will cause the shower to come down in his
season; there shall be showers of blessing. 27And the tree of the field shall
yield her fruit, and the earth shall yield her increase, and they shall be safe in
their land, and shall know that I am the Lord,

When Christ asked My God, My God, Why have you forsaken me?, he
wasn't talking about God the Creator, he was talking about his own
disciples -- he was talking about you and me! All Christians are the
Devil!
I AM the Prince of Tyre, the Devil Incarnate and the father of lies!
But the Devil is so horrendously wicked, that in an ultimate act of
rebellion, he disobeys himself and becomes righteous!
Catholicism is a bloody religion! -- Surely, a bloody husband art thou
to me (Ex 4:25)! I drink God's blood and eat his flesh like some kind of
cosmic cannibal! The Bible is a litany of murder and mayhem! The Cross
of Christ is accursed and the Cup of Salvation is a Tincture of Torture!:

Jud 19:22 Now as they were making their hearts merry, behold, the men of the
city, certain sons of Belial, beset the house round about, and beat at the door,
and spake to the master of the house, the old man, saying, Bring forth the man
that came into thine house, that we may know him.
Jud 19:23 And the man, the master of the house, went out unto them, and said
unto them, Nay, my brethren, nay, I pray you, do not so wickedly; seeing that
this man is come into mine house, do not this folly.
Jud 19:24 Behold, here is my daughter a maiden, and his concubine; them I
will bring out now, and humble ye them, and do with them what seemeth good
unto you: but unto this man do not so vile a thing.
Jud 19:25 But the men would not hearken to him: so the man took his
concubine, and brought her forth unto them; and they knew her, and abused
her all the night until the morning: and when the day began to spring, they let
her go.
Jud 19:26 Then came the woman in the dawning of the day, and fell down at
the door of the man's house where her lord was, till it was light.
Jud 19:27 And her lord rose up in the morning, and opened the doors of the
house, and went out to go his way: and, behold, the woman his concubine was
fallen down at the door of the house, and her hands were upon the threshold.
Jud 19:28 And he said unto her, Up, and let us be going. But none answered.
Then the man took her up upon an ass, and the man rose up, and gat him unto
his place.
Jud 19:29 And when he was come into his house, he took a knife, and laid hold
on his concubine, and divided her, together with her bones, into twelve pieces,
and sent her into all the coasts of Israel.
224
Jud 19:30 And it was so, that all that saw it said, There was no such deed done
nor seen from the day that the children of Israel came up out of the land of
Egypt unto this day: consider of it, take advice, and speak your minds.

Obsession
Just be careful of this feeling
Or your fate, you will be sealing
Love becomes obsession if you
Cannot see the Truth that's with you
So take heed to what I'm saying
It's a crying game you're playing
If you cannot live without her
You will soon begin to doubt her
When she hangs with other men
Then you'll put her in a pen
Making rules designed to slave her
But this horrible behavior
Only slaves you in the end
When you can't let go, my friend

I Ain't No N*gger!!
I ain't no n*gger;
I'm a Tigger.
N*ggers come from the hood;
I am come from 100-acre wood!
N*ggers are depressed;
But Tiggers do what Tiggers do best!
N*ggers drink a 40-ounce;
But all I can do is bounce, bounce, bounce!
So don't call me no n*gger
Or I'll be on you faster than a pooh bear on a jar of honey.
Hu-hu-hu-hoooo!!!
225

The Semiotics of God

(The creation of meaning is the meaning of creation)

Then...
I desired to have a relationship with you
And my desire cried out to you

But how could I have a true relationship with you?

I cannot commune with what I cannot know
Though I can see you, feel you and hear you...
I cannot know the extent of the divine intent
That was meant when you went
(Or to whom I should repent during Lent!)

No...
I cannot know your heart (and nor you mine)
Yet this relationship was not premised on knowledge
But by faith divine

Because I can hear your words

I can see your face
I can feel you
And you, me

But is it you that I see?

Or do I believe you for your works' sake?
Is my relationship with the Tree of Life?
Or is it by your fruits
That you are known?

Is there anything else in this Mansion

that evades my perception?
Or has my Perception become my Mansion?

Question...
How can I have a relationship with you
Being as there is nothing else in Existence besides
Your Eternal Word?
226
Truly, your Word is Life
Your Word is my God and the God of it
The One who is Higher than I
Because Ras Tafari was before I
Worshipped the God whom earth, and sea and sky
Whose shoes I am unfit to untie

Surely your Word has baptized me by its own merit

Unto this old and new and unending You in the Spirit
Time no longer! -- Apocalypse Now!
Wedded by a Sacramental Vow
Of Love, begotten of a Virgin's desire
Marriage with the Spirit, baptized by fire!

Because I desired to have this relationship with You

And my desire cried out
And my cry, You knew

I Am Me (Emma I)
"I am me"
Who else can I be?
Like royalty:
Queen Emma I

But Emma I
Her life is curs'd
Her acts, rehears'd
In speech, well-vers'd
But in the end, it's worst!

So take Emma I
And turn her 'round
And then she'll become
"I am found!"
227

I Neva Knew
I neva knew
Just how much you
Could love me so true
Thru all we've been thru
What more can I do?
I haven't a clue!
There's no avenue
For me to get to
This picture God drew
That I'd like to view
That I'd like to screw!
And worship anew
The God of the Hebrew
In Christ Jesus who
Hath chosen the few
(And not just the Jew)
But watched as they grew
Each taking their cue
Like a demonic coup
In the blood we saw spew
For what we can't undo
There's no need to be blue
'Sola Spiritu'
So let me review
Why I love you two
Opps, I meant 'too'!

Is that YOU? -- I hear you ask.

Yes and I'm up to the task
Of removing all your doubt
But you need to hear me out

I don't know your hidden pain

Bitter words that raped your brain
I can only tell you this
You've been baptized with a kiss
228
You've been baptized by my fire
Like a spiritual vampire
Sucking blood from virgin's necks
By a demonic reflex

But the Virgin, she consents

Even though it makes no sense
As her Son, with grace relents
If my Love, from sin repents

C'mon baby light my fire!

Try to set the night on fire!
You're my Venus, my desire!
I'll be damned if I'm a liar

Sgt. Pepper's Dictionary

(where do they all come from?)

wish | expectation | show

cup | hockey trophy | puck

dirt | ground | tread

repel | cast off | leper

wink | turn a blind eye | knew

fink | a back-stabber | knife

killer | take someone else's life | relic

regal | drunk with power | lager

rhyme | rapper's delight | myrrh

rhythm | and blues | mother

aisle | where marriage begins | lie

cry | complain | irk

deacon | church official | naked

deliver | us from evil | reviled

229
man | person | name

maid | young unmarried woman | dame

male | mystique | lame

self | consciousness | flesh

evil | sin and death | live

devil | evildoer | lived

fall | Paradise Lost | laugh

sausage | is it kosher? | Jesus

church | organized religion | crutch

rood | ancient Anglican crucifix | door

dogma | Catholic tenets | Am God

tribe | ethnic lineage | birth

avid | passionate | diva

leer | lust of the eyes | reel

lust | prurient interest | slut

amor | Latin love | Roma

liber | Latin freedom | rebel

noël | French nativity | léon

Eva | mother of all living | Ave

Eden | the paradise of God | needy

Noise | a tinkling cymbal | Zion

Eliam | Bath-sheba's father | Ammiel

Akhenaten | first monotheist | Tanakh

Allahu Akbar | God is great! | Kabbalah

Am I | my brother's keeper? | I AM

Nemo | ancient submariner | omen

230
Pequod | they call me Ishmael | Cupid

Wonka | and the chocolate factory | know

Kramden | Gleason's divine comedy | Denmark

Cosmo Kramer | Seinfeld's divine comedy | cosmic remark

raven | nevermore | never

Bethlehem | nativity scene | Lambeth

Xena | Warrior Princess | annex

Sega | Genesis | ages

Devas | Hindu gods | saved

Brahma | Hindu creator | Abraham

Shiva | duplicitous deity | Vishnu

Eros | desirous deity | rose

Medusa | a woman scorned | Sodoma

Agape | sacrificial love | Pagan

Zeus | bringer of joy | Suez

Mars | god of war | arms

Pan am | last flight out of Saigon | napalm

shogun | Japanese warlord | gung ho

Asshur | brother of Elam | Russia

Gideon's army | holy warriors | Armageddon

Judas | Iscariot | Sadducee

scythe | reaper's sickle | ethics

funny | surely, you jest | enough!

231
Bedsheets
When I awoke, I noticed myself
With the longest, firmest,
mouth-watering erection

But before I could open my eyes

I felt my bedsheets wrapped closely against my body
My penis throbbing uncontrollably amidst the tightly-wrinkled crinkles
That must have somehow shifted during the night

Still groggy,
My head turned slightly on my pillow, when
I suddenly began to feel them move
And then, I realized that
These weren't my sheets, but instead
It was your smooth, perspirous thighs, straddling me
-- rocking and locking
To the primitive choreography,
which had unknowingly become synchronous
With the circadian rhythmic pulsations
That had so fortuitously lulled my cerebral cortex
From its REM state
to state of Pure Ecstasy
Instinctually desiring to acknowledge you,
my ancient succubus
But before I could open my tear-stained eyes
I decided that it would be better not to interrupt you
Maintaining my perfect silence
In order so that you could
Believe that you were...

((cheating on me with my own body))

(In fact,
I still haven't told you...)
232
And as I lay there motionless
Holding back ecstatic and guttural oblations, made
To the Queen of Heaven made flesh
It dawned on me
That this might not even be you, but instead
An angel
Or perhaps even our adult daughter who was
visiting for spring break
But as long as I didn't know,
God didn't either
Like Lot and his daughters
Judah and Tamar
Pharaoh and Sarai
There was no offence so long as I remained in ignorance

((And what a willing ignorance it was, mama!))

As the Ancient Shekhinah filled the temple

with her fragrant eau d'amour
My heightened consciousness altered by ebbing tides of endorphins
Liberating me from this selfish vow of silence
On the precipice of both verbal and pelvic outburst
The seal of my mouth, breaking
With a plaintive glossolalia
Gushing and blushing
The waters rushing

My blurry eyes adjusting to the darkness of our bedroom

As the glorious shadow
That had enveloped my passion
Within its tightly-crinkled wrinkles
Revealed herself to me as
Nothing more than...

((bedsheets...))
233

Papa Don't Preach!

Like a female virgin of myself
Opps, I meant 'version'
Or maybe it was the perversion of a pure virgin...
Either way, it doesn't mater
Mater? opps, I meant matter...
Or maybe it was a Mater who matters?
A Material Virgin in a maternal world
But this time, she won't be keeping her baby...
Evita crying -- 'Argentina's truth hurts Anita Negra'
But the truth is, 'I never felt you...
I broke my promise, increased my dissidence'
My mad resistance to your insistence of her existence...
Only to find myself
'in trouble deep!'

A Beautiful Mind
In comedy, there's an old stock device whereby an underling posits a
great idea to a boss who then retorts, "Great idea! Glad I thought of it!"
But what difference does it make where our ideas come from so long as
we think them? We are all oracles of our relative muses (though we don't
always obey them!), which is why a Christian mind is sharper and more
creative than that of a non-Christian. Stress impairs memory which is
why you can't ever remember where you put something until you stop
trying to remember where you put it; but Christians, having already
found what all men seek, are under no pressure whatsoever which
decreases both the biochemical affectations of stress and enhances
mental and physiological faculties! You really can be a better you!

Furthermore, there is absolutely nothing wrong with the retarded. They

are not born retarded, they are labeled retarded by the leave-all-children-
behind public school industrial complex!

Like homosexuals, the retarded have stunted their own physical

development by reason of their own original sin. But as soon as wicked
234
Monday-school teachers brand them as retarded and segregate them from
the general population, they become obedient to a Universe that
continually validates their so-called condition. Instead of teaching them
that they are 'different' or 'special', we should be telling them that they
have the ability to live like everyone else should they decide to.
Everyone who has had a relationship with a retarded person knows that
there are flashes of brilliance which usually occur in moments when they
are 'caught off guard'; but when the moment passes, they apparently
revert back to their conditioning.

Retards have an important earthly ministry and those who convert will
all be given new sinless bodies in heaven as well as expert angelic
psychotherapy to enhance their mental capabilities (as will we all!) But if
you tell a child he won't get better, you step on his faith!

(Prov 21:11) When the scorner is punished, the simple is made wise:

And in case you were following the money, public schools under No-
Child-Left benefit from classifying struggling students as ADHD
learning-disabled because they get special accommodations on
standardized tests (not to mention increased government funding for
special education programs) and under NCLB, schools are penalized for
not testing well -- and guess who determines whether or not a student is
'disabled'! Yep, the Pharmaceutical-backed APA-member school
psychologist!

And what is ADHD anyway? Not paying enough attention, massa'? I's
real sorry, massa'! Please don' hurt me, massa'! Maybe if you weren't
suffering from BAHT, I wouldn't have ADHD! That's 'Boring-As-Hell-
Teacher'! But if you want to treat a child like one of Pavlov's dogs, don't
be surprised if later on he bites you in the ass!

Right now, what our kids need is the Word of God brought back
into the public school curriculum. Our children are given classroom
rules-and-consequences, but without the intellectual underpinnings to
support their adherence. The bad teachers whine about the lack of 'home-
training' while the good teachers are being hamstringed by religious
prohibitions which preclude the instruction of absolute morality.

If you teach a child that he will be sent to detention for throwing a

crayon, he will understand that there are temporal consequences for his
actions. Times change.
235
If you teach a kid that talking in class impedes his classmates from
learning, he will understand that there are social consequences for his
actions. Societies differ.
If you teach a child that the decisions he makes now will affect him the
rest of his life, he will understand that there are personal consequences
for his actions. People die.
If you teach a child that he will never die and therefore has a real
relationship and responsibility to the Universe and the people in it, he
will not only obey the classroom protocol, he get his friends to as well!
Jesus saves!

The teachers unions argue that higher salaries attract more qualified
teachers; but a true teacher sacrifices for their students. The higher the
salary, the cheaper the teacher; but what the schools need now is not
more uniforms or standards. What we need right now is a national debate
over the nature of reality. What is life? What is truth? What is beauty?
And if any teacher denies the existence of abstract reality, they forfeit
their right to be in it. But what's wrong with the schools today is that the
plastic coins used to teach kids about money are exact replicas of US fiat,
only with the words "In God We Trust" omitted.

Why Must I Study?

I began my teaching career on the other side of town...
One day, a student asked, Why must I study?
I answered, "So you can support yourself economically."
But the child answered, Even if I got all A's, my parents couldn't afford
to send me to college... and even if I got a good job, my impoverished
family would bankrupt me cuz I'd have to support them...

I ended my teaching career in the plum suburb...

One day, a student asked, Why must I study?
I answered, "So you can support yourself economically."
But the child laughed, I'm set for life with a million-dollar trust fund!

So now I ask you...

Why must I study?
236
School Prayer
I looked at my keyboard -- you wanna know Y?
Because I was searching for the letter I.
Searching and searching -- unable to C!
O where on this keyboard could the letter I B?
I really should know where these letters all R!
But how can I learn when I don't know what 4?
Without a higher purpose to aspire 2,
Our children won't learn that the I is next to U!

It's a Hazmat Life

Recent studies show that women who are under stress during pregnancy,
can affect the hormonal development of their fetuses. While these
hormonal imbalances don't have any impact on whether or not your child
will sin, it would have an 'inspirational' affect on the direction that your
child's sin would take in the world:

Children whose mothers were overly stressed during pregnancy may

themselves be more vulnerable to anxiety as a result, research suggests. High
levels of stress hormone may cross the placenta and affect the baby in the
womb in a way that carries long-term implications, UK scientists believe. A
Bristol University team found anxiety in late pregnancy was linked to higher
cortisol levels in children aged 10.
(BBC News: Pregnancy stress 'passed to baby')

Hence, inasmuch as there are differences between Christians and non-

Christians (whereas Christians have substantially lower stress-hormone
levels than the rest of us), only baptized Christians should be granted
marriage licenses and afforded reproductive rights. The Catholic Church
does not recognize faithless marriages and neither should we:

(Deut 22:9) Thou shalt not sow thy vineyard with divers seeds: lest the fruit of
thy seed which thou hast sown, and the fruit of thy vineyard, be defiled.

The book of Ezra warns against mixed relationships, but it was not the
ethnic origins of the spouses that polluted their blood; rather, it was that
they were "doing according to their abominations" (Ezra 9:1).
237
Sin, not race, was the problem! A "mixed multitude" followed the
Hebrews out of Egypt during the Exodus (Ex 12:38) and Moses' wife
was Ethiopian, but racist Jews redefined the word "Ethiopian" to mean
"beautiful" (just as they did "virgin" to mean "maiden"), but instead,
they've exchanged Yahweh for Baal (which is why they practice "Ka-
Baal-a"); they're as wicked today as they were in the wilderness!:

(Num 12:1) And Miriam and Aaron spake against Moses because of the
Ethiopian woman whom he had married: for he had married an Ethiopian
woman.

Christ himself had Moabite ancestry (Matt 1:5), but Ruth had converted
to the true faith before meeting Boaz and was thus sanctified (Ruth 1:16).
However, racist Jews omitted the Book of Ruth from their medieval
codices in order to avoid the spectre of an 'impure' David. But if America
desires to maintain its racial superiority in the world, we must
delegitimize non-Christian procreation:

(Ezra 9:1-2) Now when these things were done, the princes came to me,
saying, The people of Israel, and the priests, and the Levites, have not separated
themselves from the people of the lands, doing according to their abominations,
even of the Canaanites, the Hittites, the Perizzites, the Jebusites, the
Ammonites, the Moabites, the Egyptians, and the Amorites. 2For they have
taken of their daughters for themselves, and for their sons: so that the holy seed
have mingled themselves with the people of those lands: yea, the hand of the
princes and rulers hath been chief in this trespass.

It is not a violation of civil liberty to prevent non-Catholics from

marrying because anyone can become a Catholic regardless of age, race
or gender. And by the way, GLBT is not a gender, it is the negation of it
and a crime against reality! You can put lipstick on a pig, but it still ain't
kosher!:

(Deut 22:5) The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man,
neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are
abomination unto the Lord thy God.

The reason why ethnic Jews are the Chosen People is because in divinity,
they are the 'church of the firstborn' (Heb 12:23). Everyone is born
speaking Hebrew until they acquire a tongue-language; everyone is
Jewish until they discover what race they are: it is the precursory race,
the template of humanity and as pure as they are ethnically is as pure as
they are spiritually -- they are strict, dogged and exacting! We should be
so lucky as to have them in control of our media! Befriend a Jew, and
238
your phone will be ringing off the hook; Cross a Jew, and the universe
will cave in on you before you can say 'Oy Vey!'

But of course, Jesus of Nazareth was (of all historic Jews) the most
biologically pristine. He was King of the Jews, whose biochemistry was
so unadulterated, that the traces of DNA on the 'hem of his garment'
could raise the dead. Even the Roman centurions cast lots for his vesture
(Matt 27:35) and Catholic Church history is rife with examples of relics,
shrines and saint's knucklebones which were thought to be endowed with
mystical properties. Similarly, Elisha didn't receive Elijah's spirit until he
donned his mantle (2 Kng 2:13) and later, when a dead Moabite corpse
was unwittingly cast into his sepulchre, it was instantly resurrected upon
contact with Elisha's bones. Hence, not only do biochemical sin-
contaminants harm, but the psychic secretions of the morally pure can
heal -- even resurrect!:

(2 Kng 13:20-21) And Elisha died, and they buried him. And the bands of the
Moabites invaded the land at the coming in of the year. 21And it came to pass,
as they were burying a man, that, behold, they spied a band of men; and they
cast the man into the sepulchre of Elisha: and when the man was let down, and
touched the bones of Elisha, he revived, and stood up on his feet.

Remember Bethesda? Whenever the angel disturbed the pool, it was

endowed with healing properties precisely because the angelic
biochemistry had imbued its waters. Similar other healing pools have
been noted throughout human history -- and even the Catholics have a
tradition of anointing themselves with Holy Water blessed by a Priest.
When Benny Hinn lays hands on the sick, his biochemistry heals them so
completely that they oftentimes fall backwards onto the ground, not to
mention the Catholic Rite of Apostolic Succession which involves the
'laying on of hands'.

(1 Tim 4:14) Neglect not the gift that is in thee, which was given thee by
prophecy, with the laying on of the hands of the presbytery.

At the Last Supper, Christ drank from the cup first before giving it to his
disciples (1 Cor 11:25), a tradition which is lives on the Catholic Liturgy;
but Protestants forego this tradition (or use plastic shot glasses!) to avoid
germs -- and yet in the two thousand-year history of the Church, no one
has ever contracted a disease from Catholic Communion. There is even a
Tradition of the priest placing the wafer on the communicant's tongue
with his own hand, and let's not forget that the very word Mass (or
Missal) comes from the Latin phrase 'Ite, missa est' (as in the old days,
239
unchristened proselytes were 'dismissed' from the congregation prior to
the Eucharist.

And this brings me to my next point: You may have heard of the urban
myth of 'energy vampires' (or people who just seem to zap your energy
simply by being around them) - these are reverse healers, people who are
so exceedingly wicked, that they emit an aromatic sin-aura which can
interact with your own biochemistry, making you feel absolutely drained
(so-to-speak!) Contrarily, the 'halo' (or nimbus) of medieval Christian art
or even the so-called 'after-glow' of the young woman who has just
recently lost her virginity can be seen as projections of positive energy-
auras. And then there's the proverbial 'green thumb' which prospers
everything it plants, but the negative energy-auras of the wicked can
accumulate in houses where violent acts had occurred or even settle over
the grave-markers of the undearly departed, entrancing visitors with
negative impulses, foul smells or psychoactive hallucinations. People
with severe sin-disorders can even produce auras so vile, that they can be
lethal to plants, animals -- even humans (as is the case with such
unexplained phenomena as spontaneous human combustion). But if you
feel that your home is contaminated by a negative spirit-energy, try doing
what the Catholics have done for centuries, invite an exorcist to sprinkle
your home with holy water!:

Latin Rite for the Preparation of Holy Water

Deus, qui ad salutem humani generis
maxima quæque sacramenta in aquarum
substantia condidisti: adesto propitius
invocationibus nostris, et elemento huic,
multimodis purificationibus præparato,
virtutem tuæ benedictionis infunde; ut
creatura tua, mysteriis tuis serviens, ad
abigendos dæmones morbosque pellendos
divinæ gratiæ sumat effectum; ut quidquid
in domibus vel in locis fidelium hæc unda
resperserit careat omni immunditia,
liberetur a noxa. Non illic resideat spiritus
pestilens, non aura corrumpens: discedant
omnes insidiæ latentis inimici; et si quid
est quod aut incolumitati habitantium
invidet aut quieti, aspersione hujus aquæ
effugiat: ut salubritas, per invocationem
sancti tui nominis expetita, ab omnibus sit
impugnationibus defensa. Per Dominum,
amen.
God, Who for the salvation of the human
race has built your greatest mysteries upon
this substance, in your kindness hear our
prayers and pour down the power of your
blessing into this element, prepared by
many purifications. May this your creation
be a vessel of divine grace to dispel
demons and sicknesses, so that everything
that it is sprinkled on in the homes and
buildings of the faithful will be rid of all
unclean and harmful things. Let no
pestilent spirit, no corrupting atmosphere,
remain in those places: may all the
schemes of the hidden enemy be dispelled.
Let whatever might trouble the safety and
peace of those who live here be put to
flight by this water, so that health, gotten
by calling Your holy name, may be made
secure against all attacks. Through the
Lord, amen.
240

2nd cen. AD Kushan coin with an image of

the Buddha (spelled 'BODDO' in Greek
script) enveloped by his aureole.

Guadalupe image with body aura (also

known as an 'aureole').

When Moses was transported from the top of Sinai to 1st century Judaea
to receive the Ten Commandments from Christ himself, he was witness
to the Transfiguration with Peter, James, John and Elijah (Matt 17:4),
and apparently, the aureole that had enveloped Christ was transferred to
him upon his receipt of the stone tablets:

(Ex 34:29-30) And it came to pass, when Moses came down from mount Sinai
with the two tables of testimony in Moses' hand, when he came down from the
mount, that Moses wist not that the skin of his face shone while he talked with
him. 30And when Aaron and all the children of Israel saw Moses, behold, the
skin of his face shone; and they were afraid to come nigh him.

Hence, Peter was prevented by the Transfiguration from erecting

tabernacles for Moses and Elijah since the Feast of Tabernacles hadn't
been instituted until after Moses descended Sinai (Ex 23:16) -- an' fi all
yu' Rastas out dere, Sinai backways is "I an'I(s)":

(Ex 31:18) And he gave unto Moses, when he had made an end of communing
with him upon mount Sinai, two tables of testimony, tables of stone, written
with the finger of God.
241
And if one's positive and/or negative bio-aura can heal others or perhaps
even infirm them, then why wouldn't it also have an impact on the global
environment? The Japanese architectural style of Fung Shuei was in fact
developed to refocus these negative energy contagions from buildings
and residences while at the same time cultivating a positive spiritual
atmosphere. It also stands to reason that periods of worldwide apostasy
would have deleterious effects on the planet vis-à-vis the so-called 'vile
vortices' (including the Bermuda Triangle among others), which have
caused the unexplained disappearances of aircraft and ships -- perhaps
even the recent Air France calamity, not to mention the confounding of
navigational equipment, mass-hallucinations and other apparently
mysterious phenomena -- but if our sins could adversely impact the
global environment, why wouldn't then our righteousness heal our land?
Perhaps instead of worrying about our carbon footprint, we should be
taxing non-Christians for harming the planet with their toxic sin-
emissions!:

(Gen 6:11-13) The earth also was corrupt before God, and the earth was filled
with violence. 12And God looked upon the earth, and, behold, it was corrupt;
for all flesh had corrupted his way upon the earth. 13And God said unto Noah,
The end of all flesh is come before me; for the earth is filled with violence
through them; and, behold, I will destroy them with the earth.

Of course, it would be the height of intellectual dishonesty to restrict our

knowledge of the material universe only to what can be observed through
an electron microscope! Scientists are baffled and befuddled by the
unexplained "dark" energies that Draconian Mechanics simply cannot
resolve! That we are biologically and mentally subjected to subatomic
and/or motive forces, evading the detection of even our most advanced
magnification systems, should absolutely and unequivocally be taken for
granted -- and yet don't the parapsychologists and ghost hunters (all of
them branded scientific heretics by the Cult of Newton!) detect these
things with magnetometers and other such devices? -- which brings me to
my next point...

POP QUIZ: Why would modern medical science suppress ancient knowledge
of natural healing methods?

A. It's too easy, makes too much sense, and costs too little!
B. It makes White people look bad for not thinking of it first!
C. Follow the money! -- i.e., you can't put a patent on nature!
D. It makes medical science look bad because religious folks came up with it!
242
Of course, people who eat the way the Bible prescribes tend to be
healthier than those who would eat road-kill, but that's another story...

Bio-energy also plays a significant role in non-Western mystical

traditions such as Qigong and Tibetan Buddhist meditation. Here, the
life-force (or Shakti) resides within certain meridian points located
throughout the body, and it is the purpose of Tantric meditation to exert
one's Shakti from the base meridian (or chakra), bringing it into mystical
union with the Divine Feminine. Several Eastern therapies and
techniques have their basis in this esoteric philosophy, including Chinese
acupuncture, Qigong meditation, Tai Chi and Japanese shiatsu massage.
But the White racist Amerik.k.k.an Medical Association can't stand to be
one-upped by the little guy!:

(Jer 46:11) O virgin, the daughter of Egypt: in vain shalt thou use many
medicines; for thou shalt not be cured.

Ever have a visitor to your home and your normally shy cat walks right
up to him and starts purring? -- he might have a positive energy-aura!
But if a stranger enters your home and the dog won't stop barking, then
be careful, animals and plants can sense people's negative auras as well
(or even your own should you get into a trouble!) Is your dog acting
strange lately? Did a houseplant suddenly wither? It might be a good idea
to get a medical checkup! -- No sense in waiting for the modern medical
science establishment to catch up with the Farmer's Almanac!:

"There have been a number of examples of dogs being able to sniff out
disease," says Russell.
"One recent report, for instance, involved a dog repeatedly sniffing a
particular area of its owner's leg, and the owner turned out to have a cancer in
that area.
"Are there biological markers in sweat that are indicative of a particular type
of disease, and that dogs, with their heightened sense of smell, are able to pick
up?"
(CNN.com/technology)

Every race is conceived in perfection and there is no biologically inferior

race, but there are biochemical differences between the Christian race
and non-Christians which modern scientific research is now beginning to
recognize. There is no gay-gene or God-gene either, but sinning children
alter their own physiological compositions during the process of sexual
maturation and (should they themselves have children) can pass on these
biochemical imbalances to their own children, inspiring (but not
compelling) the path of that child's sin in a direction it otherwise might
243
not have taken. You can't spend nine months swimming inside a wicked
woman's amniotic fluid and not have it affect your prenatal development
(or the rest of your earthly life for that matter!) Hence, in order for the
Christ-child to be 'born perfect', it required an exceedingly righteous and
pure woman who herself was without the stain of original sin; and
though the historic Mary was not per se the Immaculate Conception
(God is), insofar as she converted as an infant and remained sinless
throughout her youth so that her adult physiology was unmarred by
original sin, she was as immaculate as it gets, and had to be for the
Christ-child to be born pure -- a sinless chick from the Annunciation to
the final weaning!:

(Luke 11:27) And it came to pass, as he spake these things, a certain woman of
the company lifted up her voice, and said unto him, Blessed is the womb that
bare thee, and the paps which thou hast sucked.

And if a mustard seed of faith can move a mountain, then why wouldn't a
righteous man's biochemistry have influence over his seed?:

(1 Cor 7:14) For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the
unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean;
but now are they holy.

Thai-dye
Little Tukta from Siam
says, "How lucky that I am
flying out to London town
in a graduation gown!
But the British consulate
doesn't have my passport yet?"
Little Tukta, can't you see?
It's an opportunity
to forgive the enemy
(impudent bureaucracy!)
When we learn to look within,
all we find is death and sin;
when we learn to look without,
Jesus will remove all doubt!
244
Now that you are on your way,
I have but one thing to say:
Never leave the God you know
When your flight reaches Heathrow!^^

Fun-n-Games
At the Church Hall in Falmouth, Trelawny, on Friday nights meet the
AYF (or Anglican Youth Fellowship). Although the official age of
membership is 15-25, exceptions are made. The AYF has a staff of 4
officers: a secretary; a treasurer; a vice president and president. After-
church concession sales contribute to the AYF budget, which usually is
spent on transportation to the annual retreat.

In America, people drive to church; in Jamaica, people walk. This makes

church-shopping much more cut and dry, the chief theological concern
being distance from residence. And because all of your neighbours attend
the same church you do, this affords the Parish Priest extraordinary
license to publicly ostracize those who fail to attend regularly without
excuse. Thus are the lines blurred between social and spiritual salvation
as perhaps they should be in a religion where God is both man and spirit.

Like most Jamaican institutions, AYF never begins on time. But when it
does, it usually begins with singing and praying, the attendees forming a
human circle, holding hands and swaying to a capella gospel music.
Songs like:

Bind us together, Lord

Bind us together with
Chords that cannot be broken;

Bind us together, Lord

Bind us together, Lord
Bind us together with love.
245
Then, there is 'Fun-n-Games'. One game, 'Apple Turnover', is played by
having someone stand in the centre of the other circular-seated
contestants. Every third person is thence assigned a fruit, either: apple;
banana or cherry. If the standing person yells 'cherry turnover!', all the
cherries have to exchange seats and in the confusion, the standing person
attempts to steal one of the seats. Thus, whoever is left standing becomes
the new fruit caller.

Another fun game is 'Dog-n-Bone'. 'Dog-n-Bone' is played when all

separate into two teams (usually along age or gender lines), and stand
facing each other in two opposing ranks at either end of the hall. Each
team member is assigned a number, at which point, a handball (or other
small item) is placed midway betwixt the two teams. A number caller
then calls a number and if that's your number, you must run to retrieve
the aforesaid item (we never had a ball) before your opponent, returning
to your end of the hall with it. However, if your opponent manages to tag
you while you are in possession of the item, you must release it which,
no sooner than when the item (we usually used the keys to the church
hall) tumbles to the floor, is when the true genius of the game is revealed
-- which is to say, that both opponents are seen huddled over the object,
waiting for the other to lunge at it in order to tag him (or her) and, thus,
compelling him (or her) to drop it once again, initiating yet another
stand-off, this delicate choreography continuing for as long as it takes for
one of the aforementioned opponents to both redeem the said item and
escape his (or her) pursuers as he (or she) attempts to tag him (or her) yet
again! Trust me, it's more fun than it sounds.

Imagine I'm an Enigma

Imagine I'm an enigma ...... A misunderstood mister who dissed his sister
(but now, how much I've missed her) ...... A man who once prayed to
someday repay the one whom he depraved (but now, it's too late) ......
The one who bravely paved the way for him to say, "My soul is saved"
...... The one and only Son who came to make a way for everyone (and
now it's done) ...... The one who gave his all to call a saint whose name
was Saul (but now it's Paul, y'all) ...... The one who (by his stripes)
restored the blind man's sight forevermore (Praise ye the LORD) ...... But
as for me and my house? ...... I am the charismatic-addict praisin' Jesus
all diseases have been cured (Word is born) ......
246

Greta und die Gestapo

Knock knock knock... (Die doore opendt.)

"Gütentag!" greeted Greta. "Wat Kann I du für yeu?"

"I haffe orders teu sürche dies rezidence unter suspicione das yeu ar
hidingsie Jüden," sagt die Nazi.
"Jüden?" criedt Greta. "Nein! Er ist nöe Jüden hier."
"Maye I sürche, den?"
"Of cours nicht!" Greta answert. "Est ist die middel auf der nächt!
Kömme bach ohn Sönntag, bye-bye!"
"Nein!" der Nazi insistet. "I müss conducten die sürche at wonce!"
"Or else wat?!"
"Or else.." (der Nazi pausen... Er dits nicht wänten zu fillen out zie
paperwürke für deiser one!...) "Okay -- okay! Den jusst tellen me, ist der
eine Jüden heire?"
"Yess!"
"Güt!" answert die Nazi. "Bringen ihm oute, bitte."
"Fein, I will!" Greta relentidt, "Bütte fürst, tellen me wei yeu wänte
ihm."
"Becauss he ist ein Jüde!"
"Und wat ist wröngen wiht das?" shie answeren.
"Die Jewische blüt ist korrupt und müssen be pürgt frem auf die
Sudetanland!" sagt der Nazi.
"Wei du yeu thinken dat?" askt Greta perplext.
"Wei? Wei?? Jusst looke as die advancments auf Aryan ärs und cultur!
Das genius auf dein Östrianische müsiker und technologie, der stamina
auf ouhr würkers! Grüβ Gött! Weir die mosst evölvedt auf älle der races
und häffen un näturel reicht zu destroyen sie impür races!
"Aber wass abouet der Bibel?" pleadedt Greta. "Weir älle frem Adem,
ain't we? Und häffen weir älle bin mäde ouf die saem blüd?"
Aber die Nazi groβlich sprächen, "Perhapts! Aber weil ins das Neü
Testamenten, die Jüden wert replacent bei den Romänische Christerens!
Dierfore, das gentilles aer die neue superiuer race!"

(Greta lookt ahn der Nazi wiht despaire. Shie hadt geställedt ihm as
müche ahs shie couldt!) "Alreit! Alreit! I wille göe und bringen auf die
Jüden. Waite hier..." Der doore clöest und die Nazi waitet outeside.
247
Den, sie doore suddennly opent...
"Well? Wehr ist hie?" askt der Nazi.
"Kömming," shie answërt sweetlich. "Bütte fürst, tellen mie... Ar nott
yeu ein grandsönne auf einen Jüdenin?"
"Ja, I am," sprächen der Nazi. "Bütte I wass raisedt ahs einen
Christeren."
"I see..." Greta wondert. "Und ihre parenst neiber toldt yeu das Jesu
Christe war ein Jüden?"
Der Nazi pausedt. "Well... I neiber unterstüdt thiere faithe... I wantet zu
believen en Christe, bütte... I neiber couldt! I neiber saw waht thaey saw!
Die mësage war losst on me! I kouldt nicht finden Götte nowehre!"
"Den wei känt yeu see Hem nowe?!" Greta pleadedt.
Bütte der Nazi becämme outragedt, "Est wast meinen blüd! Meinen
korrupt Jewische blüdt das wouldt nicht permitt mie!! Nowe bringensie
auf die Juden!! Schnell, bitte!!"

Greta walkdt outeside und shütten sie doore behindt ehr. "Hier am I!"
shie gesagt.
"Yeu?!" shoutted der Nazi. "Yeu art nicht einen Jüden?!"
"Ja, Ich bin nicht," Greta whisperin. "Bütte meine Saviuer ist, und ihs
blüd eis withinen mie."

Rough Love
You call yourself Isis?
Cuz yu' ice is mine, sis?

Now get down

On the ground
And crawl around on all fours like a hound
It's the leash you can do...

Till I come after you

Releasing my male glue
Without a clue
As to why I need to
Stick it in you
Mi lubya fi true!
248
Cuz you belong to me
There's no escaping, you see?
I've got you tied to my Man-groove tree
In the midst of the Garden of WE
Fucking like Adam
On the Eve of Destruction
Yu' thick black lips of seduction
Provoking my male eruption
With a furious ssssuction
As I reach down, both hands clamping yu' head
jerking myself on yu' cum-stained face
Punishing your sexual averace
As I get my bliss with my sis Isis
As my semen set sail through the straits of yer hips
Eclipsed by the nips of those elliptical ships
Ridin' dat shyt like Erik Estrada on CHiPs!
Some might call'em pigtails, but I call'em grips...

If I had you alone for 24 hours, and you would do anything I told you, I'd rent a
penthouse suite at the Ritz, and install hidden cameras in every room. Then I'd
hire a prostitute who would wait for you in the penthouse, and I'd pay her to
make love to you. But this is where it gets interesting...

Unbeknownst to her, I'll give you a hidden earpiece where I can instruct you on
how to make love to her. And unbeknownst to you, I'll give her a hidden
earpiece telling her what I want her to do to you. And I told her about the
hidden cameras also, but told her not to tell you cuz you didn't know. And I
told you not to tell her, cuz she didn't know.

But before I leave you alone, I tell the both of you that I may or may not walk
in at any moment, and make love to you both. But if I do... unbeknownst to
either of you, I'll be wearing yet another hidden earpiece, whereby I can take
instructions from yet another prostitute... But that's if I had you alone for 24
hours, and you would do anything I told you.

True Reflections
Sounds
Motions
Rays of Light
All together
Are the means by which true romance takes flight
249
The fruits of our love perceived from above
Are all we have
To go by
In this
Fight

You
And I
Together
In Creation
Not because we're good, but because we're right

Litter Alley
Dad!, my son complained. I've been staring at the mountain all day like Jesus
said and it hasn't moved!
All things are possible, I answered. But before you go moving mountains, try
removing the mote from your eye.

It is impossible to interpret the Bible literally. Neither can there be any

communication without interpretation. If I say "cat," it doesn't literally
mean "four-legged house pet." It could also mean a tiger or lion; a slang
term for "category" (as in "Cat 5 Hurricane"); a nickname for Cathy; then
there's the folksinger and Muslim convert Cat Stevens; I sometimes refer
to people as cats in the pejorative (but that's somewhat nostalgic on my
part). If I instead use the term "Felis domesticus," it still would not
literally mean "finicky fur ball." The word "cat" is a raw sound. It is a
literal collection of phonemes bereft of any intrinsic meaning or
significance. Hence, our understanding of "cat" is derived not from the
phonemes, but rather from the spirit, which is to say, we ourselves
attribute meaning and signification to them. We interpret the Bible by the
spirit and not by the Bible itself. If anyone tells you that the Bible is
literally true, it is because they are under the spell of an anti-Catholic
church. These cats are liars and I mean that literally.

If "cat" literally meant "flea-bitten feline," then "gato," "katze," and

"chat" would signify something else, which these foreign words for "cat"
do not. Do the French perceive a different animal than we do? Does the
rose by any other name smell any less sweet? When in France, c'est la
vie; when in Jamaica, suh it go!
250
And yet, translation would not exist in a world where words literally
meant what they apparently do and since each individual has their own
unique perspective, there can never be a uniformly apparent
interpretation of Holy Writ. To argue the merits of one's doctrine based
on a literal interpretation of the Bible is therefore entirely specious -- or
is the NIV a greater translation than the epistle written in your hearts?:

Di man se, "Lov di Laad Yu Gad wid aal yu aat, yu suol, schrent an main, an
lov yu nieba laik ou yu lov yuself." Jiizas se tu im, "Yu ansa rait. Du dat an yu
wi liv."
(Jamaican Patois Translation: Luke 10:27-28)

To the extent that we all differ from each other, we are incapable of
achieving a uniformity of interpretation. It is a fool's errand. But just as
an individual draws upon his or her experience in order to enhance his or
her perspective, a church will draw upon its own tradition and history in
order to enhance its doctrine.

Of course, the Roman Catholic Church would have the most extensive
tradition, which would afford it the most pristine view of Scripture's
apparent meaning; And it is a miracle that such a large and long-lasting
denomination would not fall into the same theological pitfalls that have
plagued the mainline Protestant churches, paving the way for an
insurgency of non-denominational mega-churches. Nevertheless, the RC
Church is the original non-denominational mega-church and our doctrine
is informed by the Holy Tradition (inclusive of Holy Writ) and
articulated by the ex cathedra statements of our Holy Father (or perhaps
in due time, the Holy Mother).

Now we have seen how words spoken in any given tongue-language can
never be literally interpreted, but what about the raw Hebrew, which is to
say, the language of subliminal thought? If the Word of God is God as
John posits (John 1:1), then would not the Name of the LORD (the
Tetragrammaton) literally mean the LORD? Not so fast! Even the Divine
Name YHWH must be interpreted by the spirit. Else there would be no
cause for the 3rd Commandment, which admonishes us from using the
LORD's name vainly. If the Tetragrammaton literally meant itself, then it
would be impossible to mishandle the Word of Life, which it is not:

(Matt 7:21) Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the
kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
251
Not only does the Tetragrammaton not mean itself, it is not at all itself
sans interpretation. Existence (upon which the Word of God rests) is
itself predicated by choice, which carries with it the intrinsic possibility
of sinning against the Word of God, which can only be accomplished
through the vain utterance of the LORD's Name. Nevertheless, it is the
righteous utterance of the same that accomplishes not only our salvation,
but ultimate redemption and the very conferral of the Holy Spirit itself.
No one can have the Holy Ghost without confession and none can
confess except it be by the Spirit.

Now, the Spirit is one with me (and also with you). Whatever we speak,
he speaks; Whatever we do, he does; Whatever we know, he knows. If
you don't know your Savior on the day of reckoning, then your god (who
is as knowledgeable as you are) won't know that you're saved, at which
point Jehovah Farmgirl will chuck the chaff into the fire and holler yee-
haw. Likewise, the Spirit is an obedient servant so that if I love the
Spirit, He will recompense that love in the day of redemption; but if I sin
against the Spirit, He will recompense that sin on the day of wrath. In the
latter case, because temporality is an illusion created by motion, and
because God is immutable, I stand eternally guilty before the Spirit of
God (even if I only committed one sin back in the late '70s). What am I
going to do? I can't live down eternity and I can't wait 'til the heat's off --
it's an eternal flame! In a situation like that, you've got to plead guilty
and throw yourself at the mercy of the court! And what does my Judge
do, then? He renders his verdict (without any cosmic precedent) that
deems my repentance to be worthy of redemption. Now I'm a free man --
free from sin; free from recompense; free from death! I want to shake my
judge's hand, but when I do, to my horror, I see that it's pierced! Could it
be that my Victim is also my Judge? Talk about a conflict of interest!

Now, if you haven't called upon the pure, holy, beautiful, glorious and
righteous Name of the LORD Jesus Christ, then by all means what are
you waiting for? A written invitation from God? We already have it! It's
so easy to convert and yet so easy to put it off (which is what makes it so
very hard, I suppose).

And what's the difference between fiction and non-fiction anyway?:

If I say that psychiatrists tell us we are not in control of ourselves, is
that any different than if I say that Pinocchio has strings?
If I say that people alter their biochemistry through sinful thoughts, is
that any different than if I say Pinocchio's nose grows whenever he lies?
252
If I say that people (who were supposedly gay before puberty)
irreversibly impacted their adult physiology, is that any different than
boys smoking and playing hooky before finding themselves irreversibly
transformed into asses?
If I say Geppetto's son, why not the son of Jupiter?

Perhaps the difference between fiction and non-fiction has less to do with
what's being said than how it's being said. But regardless: to the extent
that language conveys reality, it deviates from it.

The theological term for someone who takes the Bible literally is a
biblical literalist -- and you may actually be one without even knowing
it! So in order to determine whether you take the Bible literally (and so
as not to upstage a certain 'worthy' redneck!), I've come up with a simple
way to find out:

You may be a bible literalist if...

You preach the gospel to your dog because Jesus said to preach the
gospel to every creature (Mark 16:15)!
You drink poison and handle snakes because Jesus says it's a sign of
the Spirit (Mark 16:18)!
You're torn between whether or not Satan put the dinosaur bones in the
ground or there were brontosauruses on Noah's Jurassic Ark?

We could stop here but let's continue...

You believe Enos was the offspring of Seth and his mother Eve as
there was no other woman in the garden besides Eve (Gen 4:25-26)!
You believe God and Satan placed bets on whether or not Job would
break (Job 1:8-13)!
You believe Jesus is a black man with woolly hair and a bronze
complexion!:

(Rev 1:13-15) And in the midst of the seven candlesticks one like unto the Son
of man, clothed with a garment down to the foot, and girt about the paps with a
golden girdle. 14His head and his hairs were white like wool, as white as snow;
and his eyes were as a flame of fire; 15And his feet like unto fine brass, as if
they burned in a furnace; and his voice as the sound of many waters.
253
So if you don't want to repent to 'Dreadlock Jesus', stop taking the Bible
literally, please!:

Jiizas ansa im se, "Wan man a go dong fram Jeruusilem tu Jeriko an som tiif
grab im. Dem tek we im kluoz, biit im an go we lef im haaf ded. Wan priis a go
dong di siem ruod, si di man, an paas pan di ada said.
(JPV: Di Stuori Bout di Gud Samaritan)

But let's say we suspend disbelief (or perhaps sustain it?) and try to take
the Bible literally anyway:

(Num 23:19) God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that
he should repent:

So God is 'not a man' or 'the son of man'? Well of course, she's not!! But
let's say that God is speaking corporately on behalf of her son: does this
imply that God never became flesh as the JWs maintain?; or is Jesus 'not
a man' in the sense 'that he should lie' or 'should repent'? But then again,
maybe the entire passage (Num 23:19-24) was meant to be read as a
'parable' (and not literally as the previous verse seems to imply):

(Num 23:18) And he took up his parable, and said, Rise up, Balak, and hear;
hearken unto me, thou son of Zippor:

But this is what happens when we base our faith on scripture rather than
Tradition. When Luther weaponized the Bible with the words 'sola
scriptura', each man became his own denomination as churches
fragmented over matters of interpretation, paving the way for moral
relativism. But if you want to redefine 'church', don't be surprised when
your grandkids redefine 'marriage'!:

No one indeed can deny that marriage is an external worldly thing, like
clothes and food, house and home, subject to worldly authority, as shown by so
many imperial laws governing it.
(Martin Luther, Von den Ehesachen)

Not only is the sacramental character of matrimony without foundation in

Scripture; but the very traditions, which claim such sacredness for it, are a mere
jest.
Marriage may therefore be a figure of Christ and the Church; it is, however,
no Divinely instituted sacrament, but the invention of men in the Church,
arising from ignorance of the subject.
(Martin Luther, De captivitate Babylonica)
254
Lastly, there is matrimony, which all admit was instituted by God, though no
one before the time of Gregory regarded it as a sacrament. What man in his
sober senses could so regard it? God's ordinance is good and holy; so also are
agriculture, architecture, shoemaking, hair-cutting legitimate ordinances of
God, but they are not sacraments.
(Calvin, Institutions: IV.xix.34)

That's one helluva haircut!!

We don't need any more liberal Protestink private interpretations! We

don't need no more sola scriptura; what we need right now is sola
spiritu!:

(2 Cor 3:6) Who also hath made us able ministers of the new testament; not of
the letter, but of the spirit: for the letter killeth, but the spirit giveth life.

But let's try once again, like a dog turned back on his vomit (2 Pet 2:22),
to take the Bible at its 'literal' meaning:

(Ezek 20:49) Then said I, Ah Lord God! they say of me, Doth he not speak
parables?

According to the Jews, Jesus is not the Messiah because he never

fulfilled the 'literal interpretation' of messianic prophecy. (It's actually
one of the few things they take literally!) According to them, the Messiah
must: repatriate all Israelites to the 'homeland' (Is 11:12); usher in an era
of world peace (Ezek 39:9); reinstitute the Sanhedrin (Is 1:26); resurrect
the dead (Is 26:19); rebuild the Temple at Jerusalem and resume the
sacrifice (Ezek 40):

(Prov 26:7) The legs of the lame are not equal: so is a parable in the mouth of
fools.

So now, instead of preaching the gospel, we find ourselves mired in

dueling interpretations (and I thought dueling banjos was corny!) But
since we're on the subject of country bumpkins, why don't we c'mon in
and set a spell as the 'Great American Bible Literalist Pissing
Competition' commences:

Southern Baptist: Our church doesn't baptize infants!

Pentecostal: Alright, I'll see your adult baptism and raise you a 'young earth'!
Southern Baptist: Alright, I'll see your 'young earth' and raise you a 'deluge'!
Pentecostal: Alright, I'll see your 'deluge' and raise you a 'sabbath'!
Southern Baptist: Alright, I'll see your 'sabbath' and raise you a 'fast'!
Pentecostal: Well our church speaks in tongues!
255
Southern Baptist: Well our church doesn't ordain women!
Pentecostal: Well we believe Christ is coming back in our lifetime!
Southern Baptist: We don't believe in interracial marriage!
Catholic: Hi fellas -- couldn't help overhearing! Our Church doesn't read the
Bible much. Nope, that's the job of the clergy. And besides, we're too busy
building hospitals and orphanages, and giving to charity!
Pentecostal: You don't have the Spirit!
Southern Baptist: You're not saved!

(Jam 1:27) Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To
visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted
from the world.

Jamaican 'Duppy' Story

(Note to reader: In Jamaica, a 'duppy' is a ghost.)

Dis fi waa yuh muss do if di duppy, 'im a'folla yuh so...

First, don' panic, juss keep on a'walkin like yuh nah see'im...

Den tekk out uno match frem yuh pocket, light it, hol' it up inna di eer an'
trow it behind yuh leff-hand shouldah...

Continue walkin'...

Nex, tekk out anudda match, light it, hol' it up inna di eer an' trow it
behind yuh leff-hand shouldah juss like before...

Continue walkin'...

Now...

Tekk out una cherd match... light it... hol' it up inna di eer, but dis time!...
Blow it out an' put it back in yuh pocket -- di duppy'll stop followin' yuh
cau' him fi look fi di match!!!

Walk Good!
256

How to Handle Self-Abuse

(A hands-off approach)

Self-abuse is an issue that touches almost everyone! But above all, please
understand: You are not alone! Keep it up!

True, time was when it was once recommended for men to go jogging or
take cold showers in order to get it under control, but that was in the days
before liquid soap and body sponges were mass-marketed to men!

My advice? -- Be patient and whatever you do, don't let it get to your
head! After all, if you can just manage to hold on long enough, you
should be able to stick it out! -- although I should warn you: Self-abuse is
one problem that, if left unmanaged, can only become bigger! -- So be up
front about it and don't try to hide it or think that you can somehow put it
behind you! The only way to handle it is to deal with it head-on -- just
lay it all out on the table and give yourself some slack!

You might also try finding a suitable outlet for that pent-up stress! But
don't worry, there's no pressure! There are several ways to release the
tension -- or on the other hand, should temptation arise, try to unwind at
a local hangout where you can just let go and be around other company
stiffs (after work when they all get off!) -- perhaps the neighborhood
sports bar, where you can chalk up that old cue stick and shoot one off in
the side pocket just before the cocktail waitress with the nice rack returns
to bring you your screwdriver with a smile and a friendly "What's up?"
Maintain eye-contact as she stirs your sip-straw and apologizes for
inquiring as to when you would be settling your tab (but she kinda' has to
cuz it's getting so huge and, well, she's been stiffed before!) -- and by the
way, don't forget that the kitchen closes at the stroke of midnight! -- but
bless Jesus, there won't be any cheese on your nachos tonight, buster, cuz
yer running the table! AMEN!! Yes! -- and no sooner will you be able to
get a'hold of yourself, that you'll soon notice yourself growing -- yes,
growing in the spirit!

Any health effects to male chastity? Other for the fact that the turtle will
sometimes recede into its shell for days on end, you'll be fine! In fact,
you'll even be healthier! Sex addiction is a real disease and can
contribute to elevated stress levels which would impede sexual
257
performance, should you be blessed with a real relationship -- and I'm
not just yanking your chain, either! In fact, now that we've rolled out our
new self-abuse hotline: 666-JERK, our ex-spurts are ready to handle
even the most sticky situations. Yep, help is right at your fingertips! --
but we do get flooded at times, so if the line is busy, please don't be
frustrated! Just keep tight and remain on hold as you rock out to the
instrumental covers of George Michael's greatest hits!

Thank you for spending time thumbing through this self-help manual!
But before we finish it off, let's keep in mind that no matter how the
ungodly try to manipulate it, the hard truth is always within your grasp!
So please feel free to pick up this handbook (which comes with 3
moderate-level Sudokus) handy for future reference and above all, don't
forget: You're in control so don't be afraid to take matters into your own
hands! Just relax, get a grip and by all means, STOP THINKING
ABOUT IT!!

Priest Fatigue
Priest fatigue...
Knowing all mysteries
Unable to tell them
Who will listen?
And if any listen, who will understand?
And if they understand, who will believe?
Big fish in a small pond
Like the fake blonde leading the fake blonde
Gone in fifty seconds!
I've become a lyrical vagabond
Whose word is his only bond
Soon to be published?
Yeah -- in Zondervan...

But until then, I'm a mad monk

A sad punk who's a tad drunk
Or maybe just a college grad with spunk
Or a drummer playing some bad funk
Like a skunk on top of my dad's trunk
It's a slam dunk! -- so allow me to debunk
The myths that you had thunk...
258
Cuz you'll neva know da real me
Ya feel me?
Like a wheelie, I'm poppin'
Droppin'
Dis lyrical shyt I be ploppin'
Hip-Hoppin'
Flying kites like Mary Poppins
Or maybe Pippy Longstocking
Jocking no-stoppin' (all around the clock'n)
When the going get tough, yeah... the tough go shoppin'!
Don't tell me to shut-up! Can't you see?
-- I'm just talking
Like a squawk-box, I keep squawking
'Dead man walking!'
Like the silhouette on the ground they be chalking
Crime scene -- cordon of the block'n
Either way, it was all a goddamn dream
Used ta'read da lyrical thought-stream, tryin'a redeem
my money-makin' scheme, cuz...
Cash rules everything around me -- but I'm the one gettin' CREAMED!!

Priest fatigue...
Nobody listens
So I add a little splice
Of Caribbean spice
With a dash of Miami Vice, and
Riuniti on ice, and I'm
Cussin' like Andrew Dice, and...
Might as well give'em what they came for, you know...
-- Jesus Christ?
Yeah right!
How 'bout another slice of life?
Will that suffice? -- Nice!

Café Demetrio
Am I your soul mate?, a woman asked her husband.
No, he laughed, You're my roommate!
Fine, she shrugged, In that case, you're my checkmate!
259
For those who prefer poetry readings to bikini contests, the Gables
nightlife can be considerably more upscale and refined than that of
storied South Beach or the famed Hard Rock just south of Ft.
Lauderdale. Known for the Biltmore Hotel, the Miami Hurricanes and
the Miracle Theatre (not to mention several high-end boutique shops and
restaurants), Coral Gables has an air of class and bohémien sophistication
that belie the more bawdy contingents (perhaps contagions?) of
contemporary club culture.

Nestled in this netting of neatly-swept streets -- with names like

Alhambra Circle and Ponce de León Boulevard, is a quaint coffeehouse
patterned after the great Parisian cafés that flourished in an era when
class distinctions were as hard to penetrate as the hull of the Titanic or
the Maginot line. Once inside, our elegant hostesses will invite you to
any one of our indoor or outdoor tables; but if you see the devil sitting on
midair, it's perfectly fine to ask him to switch seats.

In addition to espresso, there is also a wine bar comprised of the owner's

personal favourites. A great connoisseur of Mediterranean cuisine, he
often throws lavish parties with Greek salads sprinkled with goat cheese
and olives, oozing with oil as the lyric voice of Andrea Bocelli soars
through hidden Bose Wave speakers; but if you've just returned from a
bridge to nowhere, you may as well hang onto the map.

Above the door to the patio, hangs a print of the Theotokos staring out
toward the viewer as the infant stares up at her, perfectly symbolizing the
divine ecology of grace dispensed by the Madonna in the flesh of Christ.
Yet there are such as would twist the head of the Goddess toward the
infant, and the infant toward us in shamed-faced rebellion against the
holy government; and yet, how much farther away from Jesus are they
that cry his name the loudest?

The creator of the Universe cannot also enter into his own creation and
die for it. Hence a Universe inclusive of iniquity requires both a creator
and a saviour distinct of each other. Since the saviour and creator speak
as one in the soul of temporal Christ, they are the same in body, but not
in spirit. Inasmuch as the creator resurrected the soul and flesh of Christ,
she is coRedemptoris:

(Luke 2:34-35) And Simeon blessed them, and said unto Mary his mother,
Behold, this child is set for the fall and rising again of many in Israel; and for a
sign which shall be spoken against; 35(Yea, a sword shall pierce through thy
own soul also,) that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.
260
When Christ 'gave up the ghost' on the Cross of Calvary, his death was
final. The Resurrection was not about him, it was about us. We needed
his body and soul to be resurrected in the Immaculate Heart of the
Creator in order so that the Universe would know not to obey
unrighteous prayers. Otherwise, the Creator herself becomes subject to
evil and death and if God dies at any time, she dies at all times and the
Universe would never have been created. But the Resurrection spoke
corporately on behalf Christ's Heart, which had lost the consciousness of
Christ, but was resurrected in the divinity of Mary:

(Rev 1:18) I am he that liveth, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive for
evermore, Amen; and have the keys of hell and of death.

Thus, it was his body (and not his spirit), that God resurrected -- LORD
Jesus didn't hide out in hell for three days and then spring back to life; if
death resurrects, it never died -- instead, it goes on a three-day holiday
cruise to the Bahamas, playing shuffleboard with Baelzebob -- 'Hot! Hot!
Hot!' blaring over the loudspeakers:

(John 2:19-21) Jesus answered and said unto them, Destroy this temple, and in
three days I will raise it up. 20Then said the Jews, Forty and six years was this
temple in building, and wilt thou rear it up in three days? 21But he spake of the
temple of his body.

When we sinned, our subliminal consciousness inverted the meaning of

the Tetragrammaton; but when we converted, we spoke the Divine Name
Yeshua in subliminal Hebrew. Just as Jehovah is the superimposition of
Adonai + Yahweh; Yeshua is the superimposition of the Shem + Yahweh,
or simply, ManGod as the divine Adam was necessarily Semitic. The
Hebrew Word Yeshua is the grammatical doorway to the Holy Spirit;
every word that proceeds from the mouth of a Believer is sublimely
prefixed by this psychic appellation, heard only of God, and is valid
confession (inclusive of situations where overt confession would be
detrimental or unwise):

(Rom 8:26-27) but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings
which cannot be uttered. And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the
mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to
the will of God.

Now must we have two saviours: Mary who created and resurrected the
Universe; and Christ whose salvific obedience to mankind's sin, stood
between Man and God long enough for the sins of the world to be
261
transmuted onto his body, thus preventing sin from entering the Blessed
Virgin at the moment of her Conception. Christ is a sponge, soaking up
all the sin in the Universe; and all Heathen are a part of that patchwork
sponge. Jesus Christ died for us in Iraq and Afghanistan; Serbia and the
Sudan. The Cross is everywhere and thus, it is our solemn duty to love
them that are our enemies for Christ's sake:

(Matt 25:37-40) Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw
we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? 38When saw
we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? 39Or when
saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? 40And the King shall
answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it
unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

On the adjacent walls, hang portraits the grandmasters: Paul Morphy;

Ruy Lopez; and José Raúl Capablanca, men who (as the owner puts it)
were able to see the "truth of the board." In these, we find the essence of
genius, whether it were the innovative genius of Morphy who employed
unconventional techniques and strategies (revolutionizing the game), or
the more bookish genius of Gary Kasparov, whose opponents often find
themselves bludgeoned by the brute force of his book-memorization.
Before you can play Kasparov, you must first understand both the
strengths and deficits of every grandmaster in chess history (or else build
a computer that does!)

A passed Pawn increases in strength as the number of pieces on the board

diminishes.
(José Raúl Capablanca, world champion 1921-27)

Very few patrons have ever bested the owner of Café Demetrio at his
own game, but should you ever endeavour to, I offer you this: never pat
yourself on the back while holding a blood-stained knife (and try not to
kick yourself with your victim's shoes!)

That's a bad move, I told Demetrio.

How come?
Because you just lost your rook.
Demetrio laughed, But I got both your knight and bishop in exchange.
But the knight is the most powerful piece, I countered.
Why is that?
Because a king and a queen together equal one (k)night!
That is true, answered Demetrio, and in chess, the puns always move first!

I resign.
262

Marriage Vows
O, what a surprise!
To look in your eyes
And see God devise
So perfect a prize

For you and I both

On God's Sabbaoth
As our voices quoth
So sacred an oath

As love's labour found

Because we've been crowned
With jewels all around
In Christ, safe and sound

So let us be strong
For not before long
This ancient love song
To us, will belong

Blessed Virgin
Condescend
Let this marriage
Never end

Save us from
Thy Father's wrath
Wash us in
Thy bloody bath

Help us see
Through all these lies
Loving life
With brand new eyes
263
Then our hearts
Of stone so cold
Shall become
As solid gold

And together
We'll grow old
Greatest story
Ever told

Satanic Santa
As an Evangelical Christian, I've come across the familiar 'Santa'
argument. This is when the proselyte claims a childhood belief in God
which was dashed the moment they realized that Santa wasn't real -- and
if Santa isn't real, then what else isn't real?

Of course, this is a false excuse on two levels. First, it doesn't logically

follow that if the one thing isn't real, the other is also suspect. These
children could easily have praised God and thanked Him for revealing
the truth about Santa to them -- which brings me to my next point:

They never believed in God in the first place... The childish concept of
God is no different than Santa or the Easter Bunny. He is an imaginary
friend -- they 'pray' to him and have feelings inspired by this entirely
pretentious 'relationship', but unless they truly are spirit baptized, it is
always a superficial faith which doesn't bear the fruits of the Spirit or the
moral underpinnings of a transformative faith based on fidelity, integrity
and sanctity. Christ is God Omnipotent and a 'pretend friend' cannot
resurrect.

So I debated in my heart, since the Santa myth engenders doubt in

children (making it more difficult to convert later in life) -- and why
would it? Because their parents told them it was true? Because the guy in
the Santa suit in the mall told them it was true? Because the weather man
on the local news tracked his sleigh route on radar? Because the entire
universe affirmed the reality of Santa before declaring it a joke, often
followed by classmate teasing and smirks from older siblings (all of
which become psychic pathologies precluding future faith?) Is it moral to
264
tell children about Santa, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny and other
such myths and legends?

And what about the neighbor's children who already believe? Is it right to
dash their hopes? Or do we (as Evangelicals) have a responsibility to
bring people into the Faith in such a way as not to frustrate them or cause
unnecessary disunity within their family -- even if that means permitting
them to persist in their temporary delusion while not expressly validating
it? Children (and the adults who act like them) must be brought into
Truth carefully, else they trample the pearls (though the line between tact
and dereliction is at times razor thin) -- not to mention the fact that the
Traditional date of Christmas itself began as a Pagan Holiday! but
before we put this issue before Yahweh, let's first ask Yahoo:

YAHOO ANSWERS
(Religion and Spirituality)

QUESTION:

Moral Quandry: Is it right to tell a child that Santa is real? If so, then why; If
not, then why?

RESPONSES:

1) Learning that santa was not real came as an angry shock to

me at about 8 years old or so. God's word the bible is full of
instructions to tell the truth. The big question is where did
christmas come from? Check out where christmas came
from! The custom is mentioned in the bible as some form
of idol worship. Read Jeremiah 10:1-6. This sure sounds
like the christmas tree. Note verses 3 and 4 where it talks
about futile customs.

Check it out for yourself. Don't take my word for it.

Food for thought.

Source(s):
New King James Bible

2) You are asking if lying is right. Do you want her to believe

you about other things after she grows up?

We told our kids some silly things to see if they could catch
them, but if it seemed they believed them, we told them the
truth right away. That way they developed the habit of
thinking for themselves. But we certainly wouldn't cause
them to spend their formative years believing in an old man
with a long white beard that lives in a white fluffy place far
265
away, and who sees and judges all their acts and rewards
the good ones. On Christmas, yet. No telling what irrational
beliefs that could lead to in later life! ;o)

3) think it's a moral quandary only if you believe in the real

"reason for the season". As a Christian, I regret the whole
Santa thing...all it did was give my daughter someone else
to be thankful to for the gifts! She was 10 when I started
making Christmas about Jesus and celebrating His birth.
She says she'll not make Santa an aspect of Christmas with
her kids. But, more specifically, I don't think you're asking
the religious aspect, just the "moral" aspect. For that
answer, I'd say "no" to Santa and get all the credit for your
child's joy on Christmas morning!

4) I wouldn't personally lie to my children about anything.

My parents never did.

It helps with trust and the entire relationship.

You can just tell them that Santa is like the symbol of
Christmas to make it more enjoyable for everyone. Kids
love stories. Nothing wrong with giving presents and
watching Rudolph and Frosty on TV.

That's what Christmas should be all about, not some stupid,

cruel, scary, violent, hateful fairytale like the bible.

Why would you want to lie to your children and mislead

them about what's real and what's not, especially when you
don't have to?

They will still love and enjoy everything about Christmas

either way.

Just my opinion...

ADDED: Christian people, isn't it a "sin" to lie?

Just checking.
Oh well, you lie to them when you tell them that your god
is real too, so I guess it doesn't really matter, does it?

5) no it is not right to teach children to lie . So don't tell them

that its jesus's birthday either as he was not born dec 25.
this date was taken from the Pagan calendar

6) Duh, Santa is real you dipsht! The guy just goes under the
codename "parent/other" when he's not busy conjuring up
some Christmas magic!
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7) No that is a lie,from Satan change the letters around.
Santa Satan

8) Why not? We dont know everything and Santa could be

minutely symbolic for God.

People seem to forget that our Lord Jesus spoke in parables

and the whole book of Revelation is said to be symbolic
from the beginning. Parables help teach those who cant
handle the reality or understand it. Kids cannot handle or
understand the reality of Jesus, so you have to teach them
little parables along the way. What no one remembers old
nursery rhymes? Are those evil too?

Yes, and all the hypocrites will thumbs down me. They
know so little about the world but seem to think they know
everything about God and the spirit.

9) I can only answer for myself, friends, and my 9 siblings.

We loved Santa. But when we got old enough to start
doubting and ask our parents about him we were happy to
be told the truth.

10) Yes, you should.

I still remember the joy of believing in Santa Claus when I

was a child, and I am so glad that my parents enforced this
tradition.

With this, I can appreciate Christmas more, through my

parents' love and generosity in Jesus Christ.

11) I think it's okay. Sooner or later each kid needs to learn
how to figure out what is bullcrap on their own. Santa and
the Easter Bunny are good for that.

12) If a parent is going to tell their children that Santa Claus is

real, then they have absolutely no right to ever punish that
child for lying.

13) I don't get the mindset that lying is okay if it's fun.

14) My mom told me Santa was fake from the start; but she
believes in Jesus Christ. Go figure =/

15) I think so, yes.

Children are so happy and excited at Christmas. When they

find out the truth, and all of them do eventually, it is not a
dramatic event.
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The real lie is telling children that Jesus was born of a
virgin on that day.

16) No. Christmas is about Christ and the birth of Jesus not
some fat ol' jolly fellow that doesn't exist.

17) no it is not,

18) It exites them!!

And a happy new year! Well, thanks to all the respondents -- some
answers were nice (others naughty!), but I'll let the reader draw their own
conclusion.

As for me, well... of course I wouldn't condone lying to children for any
reason, but what's the lie? After all, there is a real Catholic Saint Nicolas,
he did historically give gifts to children on Christmas, and insofar as his
legacy continues to inspire us to give gifts to children (millions of
children the world over) -- even in countries where people don't have
chimneys, well... I'll just leave it right there!

HO HO HO!!

The Night Before SEXmas



'Twas the night before SEXmas
And all through the Whitehouse
A sexy intern was stirring
In a blue cocktail blouse.


The stockings was hung
And so was the President
According to Monica
'Dat sh*t was bent!!'


The first lady was sleeping
All snug in her bed
While Ole Saint Bill was gettin'
Some serious head!!


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There wasn't no kerchief
There wasn't no cap
So onto that blue dress
Ran out all of his sap!!

Snapping that thong

Like a sugarplum vision
Thank God she wasn't an Israeli spy
On a top secret mission!!



And just when you thought
You couldn't take any more
We come to find out
He tried to use her ass as a humidor!!


Now Hillary knows
Tammy Wynette had it right
Merry SEXmas to all
And to all (yup, you guessed it!)... a very SEXY goodnight!!

Dr. Mindbender
Life is desire;
Death is fear.

To live is to consummate;
To fear is to desecrate.

A loving person desires something to occur;

A fearing person desires something not to occur.

When a man desires something to occur, he hopes.

When a man desires something not to occur, he mopes.

Hope magnified is ecstasy;

Fear magnified is anguish.

When a man fears anguish,

he will consummate his own fear
in order to 'control' the very anguish he so fears.
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He will yell obscenities in public
to dispel the fear of being ostracized.
He will stutter and stammer
to dispel the fear of misspeaking.
He will engage in deviant sex acts
to dispel the fear of becoming a deviant.
He will commit suicide
to dispel the fear of death:

(Is 66:4) I also will choose their delusions, and will bring their fears upon
them; because when I called, none did answer; when I spake, they did not hear:
but they did evil before mine eyes, and chose that in which I delighted not.

Fear is inward;
Love is outward.

Fear is about yourself;

Love is about another.

Fear is a spiritual problem,

not a behavioral one.
You can transfer a man's fear from one object to another.
But channeling one's fear not a cure;
it is 'behavior modification'.
Brainwashing is a technique
whereby you transfer one's subliminal fears
into an object you control, in order to control them.
Brainwashing is a form of torture.

Is it moral to use brainwashing in warfare?

No. You cannot wish another man to fear.
Is it wise to use torture to break an enemy?
No. If they didn't crack during Jihadi training camp,
they won't crack under you.
Does the information acquired by torture prevent further attacks?
No. They're attacking us because we're torturing them.
Is it moral to preach Jesus to Guantanamo inmates?
Yes, and the information acquired by Christian converts
is reliable upon pain of death.
Does Amerik.k.k.a have its head up its ass?
Yes. And we've been caught with our pants down.
270
Religion is not 'behavior modification';
Idolatry is.
Religion is not brainwashing;
Idolatry is.
Religion is not transference;
Idolatry is:

(Ex 32:8) They have turned aside quickly out of the way which I commanded
them: they have made them a molten calf, and have worshipped it, and have
sacrificed thereunto, and said, These be thy gods, O Israel, which have brought
thee up out of the land of Egypt.

Psychomeds cannot save us.

Save us from what?! Yourself?! Jesus can't even do that!!
Jesus saved you from the wrath of the father;
None but yourself can heal your mind.

Psychomeds cannot restore your sanity.

What sanity?!
The APA definition of clinical insanity is so ambiguous
as to include almost everyone (except homosexuals!)
The mental illness designation
is a social stigma and a horrible abuse of authority.
Nobody knows what sanity is,
and nobody believes they are insane
(unless they're a criminal defendant!)

Faith is not insanity;

Religion is not idolatry;
Truth is not psychology;
The golden rule is not a golden calf:

(Ex 32:17-28) And when Joshua heard the noise of the people as they
shouted, he said unto Moses, There is a noise of war in the camp. 18And he
said, It is not the voice of them that shout for mastery, neither is it the voice of
them that cry for being overcome: but the noise of them that sing do I hear.
19And it came to pass, as soon as he came nigh unto the camp, that he saw the
calf, and the dancing: and Moses' anger waxed hot, and he cast the tables out of
his hands, and brake them beneath the mount. 20And he took the calf which
they had made, and burnt it in the fire, and ground it to powder, and strawed it
upon the water, and made the children of Israel drink of it.
21And Moses said unto Aaron, What did this people unto thee, that thou hast
brought so great a sin upon them? 22And Aaron said, Let not the anger of my
lord wax hot: thou knowest the people, that they are set on mischief. 23For they
271
said unto me, Make us gods, which shall go before us: for as for this Moses, the
man that brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we wot not what is become of
him. 24And I said unto them, Whosoever hath any gold, let them break it off.
So they gave it me: then I cast it into the fire, and there came out this calf.
25And when Moses saw that the people were naked; (for Aaron had made them
naked unto their shame among their enemies:)
26Then Moses stood in the gate of the camp, and said, Who is on the Lord's
side? let him come unto me. And all the sons of Levi gathered themselves
together unto him. 27And he said unto them, Thus saith the Lord God of Israel,
Put every man his sword by his side, and go in and out from gate to gate
throughout the camp, and slay every man his brother, and every man his
companion, and every man his neighbour. 28And the children of Levi did
according to the word of Moses: and there fell of the people that day about
three thousand men.

There are two kinds of people in this world: those who are prepared to
die for their ideas, and those that aren't. But if you are not prepared to die
for your ideas, then be prepared to die for mine:

(Dan 9:11) Yea, all Israel have transgressed thy law, even by departing, that
they might not obey thy voice; therefore the curse is poured upon us, and the
oath that is written in the law of Moses the servant of God, because we have
sinned against him.

Life and death are absolute;

Love and fear are absolute.

There is no life and death;

There is no love in fear;
Fear casts out love.

The physiological sensation of fear is anguish;

But the sensation of love is euphoria.

There are infinite gradations of anguish.

as they are infinite gradations of euphoria.

Anguish tinged with sadness becomes anxiety or depression;

Anguish tinged with joy becomes vainglory.
Anguish tinged with anger becomes ire.
272
There is no limit to a person's anxiety.
You cannot ever be truly 'scared to death',
but you can become so scared
as to impede vital organ function.
People experiencing heightened states of anxiety
have jumped out of windows, shot themselves,
hung themselves and slit their wrists to escape the terror:

(Rev 9:6) And in those days shall men seek death, and shall not find it; and
shall desire to die, and death shall flee from them.

Only Christians fear.

Non-Christians don't sin,
but rather, they become sin for us.
If a non-Christian says he fears,
he is mimicking us.
They know not what they do.

Only the truly wicked are received into paradise.

There is no sinner that does not repent:
repentance is sin:

(Gal 2:17) But if, while we seek to be justified by Christ, we ourselves also are
found sinners, is therefore Christ the minister of sin?

I am the Devil.
I drink God's blood.
I obey no law, but the lawlessness of grace:

(1 Cor 6:12) All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all
things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.

There is no hormonal difference between sinner and demon;

but there is between sinner and saint.
If a saint lapses back into sin, he is (physiologically) a sinner;
but if a sinner is renewed to faith, he becomes hormonally sanctified.
It is biologically impossible for a sinner to live;
It is biologically impossible for a believer to die
(even if his parents were unrighteous):

(Jer 31:29-30) In those days they shall say no more, The fathers have eaten a
sour grape, and the children's teeth are set on edge. 30But every one shall die
273
for his own iniquity: every man that eateth the sour grape, his teeth shall be set
on edge.

Faithless Judaism hedges its bet on flesh over faith;

but when the house folds, they will all be forced to ante up:

(Jer 31:31-34) Behold, the days come, saith the Lord, that I will make a new
covenant with the house of Israel, and with the house of Judah: 32Not
according to the covenant that I made with their fathers in the day that I took
them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt; which my covenant
they brake, although I was an husband unto them, saith the Lord: 33But this
shall be the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel; After those days,
saith the Lord, I will put my law in their inward parts, and write it in their
hearts; and will be their God, and they shall be my people.

A phobia is the result of self-induced brainwashing.

Children experience nightmares and develop phobias
in an attempt to control their surroundings.
If you can channel your fear onto a rodent,
then you can vicariously control that fear
through avoidance of the rodent.
Of course, there is an inherent problem
with the technique of psychological transference
-- you can't always control the rodent:

(Is 59:5-6) They hatch cockatrice's eggs, and weave the spider's web: he that
eateth of their eggs dieth, and that which is crushed breaketh out into a viper.
6Their webs shall not become garments, neither shall they cover themselves
with their works: their works are works of iniquity, and the act of violence is in
their hands.

People are capable of developing all kinds of phobias.

I once knew a woman who was afraid of TV sets.
Others are afraid to leave their houses.
Regardless, there is no limit to the terror one can experience
when confronted by the object of their fears.
274
Some create psychic talismans to ward off anxiety;
The man who fears to enter a room,
opens and shuts the door 27 times
in order to ward off the anxiety.
Of course, there is a big problem with psychic talismans
-- there's no flawlessly-crafted talisman or flawlessly-executed ritual:

(Ex 20:25-26) And if thou wilt make me an altar of stone, thou shalt not build
it of hewn stone: for if thou lift up thy tool upon it, thou hast polluted it.
26Neither shalt thou go up by steps unto mine altar, that thy nakedness be not
discovered thereon.

Religion is not a cult;

but cult leaders (and psychiatrists) manipulate peoples' fears
in order (to elicit behavioral responses.
People rescued from cults
are in a constant state of terror and confusion.
They have been wrenched away from their talismans.
They need the gospel of Jesus Christ, not re-conditioning.
Children must not be reunited with cult-member parents:

(Matt 19:13-15) Then were there brought unto him little children, that he
should put his hands on them, and pray: and the disciples rebuked them. 14But
Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of
such is the kingdom of heaven. 15And he laid his hands on them, and departed
thence.

In moments of clarity and zeal, you are in the Spirit;

In moments of doubt and anxiety, you are estranged from God.
(True religion brings us closer to Ultimate Reality;
Fear distorts Reality):

(Is 35:3-4) Strengthen ye the weak hands, and confirm the feeble knees. 4Say
to them that are of a fearful heart, Be strong, fear not: behold, your God will
come with vengeance, even God with a recompence; he will come and save
you.
275
Psychiatrists believe that you can overcome a phobia
by 'facing your fears';
They see fear as a behavioral problem.
But love doesn't prove itself
by confronting temptation;
Love proves itself by avoiding temptation:

(Luke 11:4) And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil.

True theology is an open, honest and intellectually rigorous investigation

into the nature of Ultimate Reality.
(not like science):

(1 Ki 3:9-12) Give therefore thy servant an understanding heart to judge thy

people, that I may discern between good and bad: for who is able to judge this
thy so great a people? 11And God said unto him, Because thou hast asked this
thing, and hast not asked for thyself long life; neither hast asked riches for
thyself, nor hast asked the life of thine enemies; but hast asked for thyself
understanding to discern judgment; 12Behold, I have done according to thy
words: lo, I have given thee a wise and an understanding heart; so that there
was none like thee before thee, neither after thee shall any arise like unto thee.

Elegy
Elegant elegy
Elevated to a level of excellence
Far exceeding the delicate eloquence
Of my elemental dialectic

But El Shaddai
Raised up high
On Golgotha, doth cry
'Eli!... Eli!...

WHY?
276

Theory of Devolution
According to Darwin,
Man evolved from animals
through a process of natural selection.

The strong survive; the weak perish.

If that's true, the insects are the highest evolved species.

While there are only 6 billion of us,

there are roughly 10 quintillion insects
(not to mention the undocumented worker bees!)

Therefore, I submit to you, a new theory:

The Theory of Devolution.

According to Devolution,
Mankind did not evolve from the animals;
We "devolved" from them.
And the more we get away from nature,
The more we continue to devolve!

If the purpose of life is to perpetuate itself,

Then why are men the only species
to wage war, commit mass murder and group suicide?

((Devolution))

If the purpose of life is to reproduce,

Then why are men the only species
to practice celibacy, homosexuality and abortion?

((Devolution))

If the purpose of life is to become self-sustaining,

Then why are men the only species
to practice religion and worship a transcendent god?

((Devolution))
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When the New York Post likened Obama to a chimpanzee,
it was an insult to chimps!
Chimps are peaceful animals,
But if you take an animal out of its natural habitat
(compelling it to live as a human);
Don't be surprised if it acts like a rage-filled, murderous human.

((Devolution))

(Prov 6:6-9) Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise:
7Which having no guide, overseer, or ruler, 8Provideth her meat in the
summer, and gathereth her food in the harvest. 9How long wilt thou sleep, O
sluggard? when wilt thou arise out of thy sleep?

((Devolution))

Is Grace Illegal?
God is Righteous and therefore must obey every command put to her...
If we ask for a blessing, she must bless us.
If we ask for a curse, she must curse us.
This is the Doctrine of Recompense.
It is the Dais upon which the Universe stands.

(Rom 11:29) For the gifts and calling of God are without repentance.

Why then doesn't God just answer all of our prayers?

Well, you have to read the fine print...

• Escape Clause #1) The deity reserves the right to not answer prayers if they
conflict with somebody else's prayers.

• Escape Clause #2) The deity may not answer your prayers if, by answering
them, you wind up worse off later.

• Escape Clause #3) The deity may not answer prayers if they conflict the
'Terms of Agreement' you signed when you became a Christian (also known as
'The Bible')

• Escape Clause #4) The deity reserves the right to postpone (or otherwise
delay) the answering of prayers until after the Resurrection.
278
• Escape Clause #5) God already answered your prayers when he saved you,
and the greatest gift God can bestow on you is the ability to forsake joy and
comfort to help others -- so get back to work, fellow laborer!

Because God is bound to answer every prayer that comes to her, and
because Christians ask for curses instead of blessings, God must have a
divine protocol (or law book) that Christians can 'repent' to, which
informs her as to which prayers to obey and which to deny. But the Holy
Ordinance (or 'Word of God') cannot contain any error in it and must be
true for all people at all times -- otherwise, God would lack integrity,
disqualifying her as LORD and Creator, and a house divided cannot
stand; but the Immaculate Conception has all faith to remove mountains
literally -- and so do you when you're in the Spirit, and anyone in the
Spirit wouldn't put God to the test now, would they?

So God knows when to obey us and when not to because we repent to the
Word of God: integral, inerrant, infinite and incarnate. My God, I sound
like a Baptist! Wanna come to my Bible study?

But how was God qualified to judge repentance righteous if he himself

does not repent? Where's the judicial empathy?

When the Messiah judged the world, he knew what sin was by what sin
does. But he also knew what faith was by what faith does also: sin kills,
but hope springs eternal.

The Messiah therefore had two philosophical options with which to

understand repentance. But first, let's define repentance as the act of
disobeying oneself (aka traitor, turncoat, chicken, sellout, punk). I mean,
what else would you call a bunch of guys who kneel before a 1st century
torture device, asking the god they just killed to forgive them, before
turning around and drinking his blood? Cue up the 'Goods Times' theme
music, please!

In Eternity, any man who goes against himself must have that prayer
recompensed by an obedient Creator, which would kill him instantly. But
if there were another man (a second Adam) who could intercede on
behalf of the first, taking the divine recompense upon himself instead,
then we have a fallen Universe such as it is now.
279
So if disobedience to oneself brings death;
But disobedience to oneself brings rebirth;
How is a church premised on repentance not the Church of Satan?
And how could a righteous god
conclude the repentant world worthy of redemption
without any loss of cosmic integrity
which would disqualify him as its judge?
To put it bluntly... Is it a sin to be a Christian?

Now we see the philosophical conundrum that faced Christ beforetime:

Two competing philosophical paradigms with regard to repentance:

Philosophical Argument A) Disobedience is sin BECAUSE it kills.

Philosophical Argument B) Sin kills BECAUSE it is disobedient.

If Jesus chose Argument B, he would have judged repentance as sinful

irrespective of whether or not kills, and the Universe therefore, would be
uncreated. However, Jesus judged disobedience to sin righteous (placing
the emphasis on what sin does instead of what does sin):

(Ro 3:27) Where is boasting then? It is excluded. By what law? of works? Nay:
but by the law of faith.

In a saved Universe, there are 4 classes of people (4 spiritual paths with

regard to obedience and non-obedience):

If a person obeys obedience, they live in perfection. (Jesus)

If a person disobeys obedience, they die in perfection. (Adam)
If a person obeys disobedience, they die in obedience. (Judas)
If a person disobeys disobedience, they live in disobedience. (Peter)

Now let's second-guess Grace and condemn Christ's decision to save us,
citing Argument A: if we reject the philosophy of grace on the legal
grounds that disobedience is unworthy of grace, irrespective of the
consequences of it, then we radically alter the definition of sin. But Jesus
lacked the judicial empathy to know just how dark my heart was, so he
was not at all qualified to judge the Universe with regard to 'what does
sin', he could only speak to 'what sin does'!

(2 Cor 5:21) For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we
might be made the righteousness of God in him.
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But if we reject grace philosophically, choosing to re-obey disobedience,
then we would undo our born-again status, becoming dead-again! But
this is utterly impossible since in order to re-obey disobedience, you
must first disobey obedience, which would permanently disqualify you
from becoming an obedient disobedient! There's no getting out of this!

(Heb 6:4, 6) For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and
have tasted of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost,
6If they shall fall away, to renew them again unto repentance; seeing they
crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put him to an open shame.

It is certainly possible to disobey God and still go to heaven, much to the

chagrin of the more legalist Religions, but the answer to the question I
put earlier in this essay must be answered in the negative: It is not a sin
to be Christian, either under 'philosophy A' or 'philosophy B'.

In any relationship, communication is key;

but cosmologically speaking...

Communication requires 3 material elements (guided by two distinct

essences) influencing each other -- in our case, the one belonging to us;
the other to our Shekhinah. Thus, just as it is with sex, life requires
corporeal, sensual contact -- the motive force that animates us interacting
with a kindred spirit (who is as physically distinct as she is spiritually
similar). That would be God. And just as Mary is our god, we are hers!
God worships man, and the BVM is more than our creator, she is our
lover and wife.

Apart from God, we have sex with ourselves -- but a relationship with
oneself is a sin against one's own consciousness! That's why
homosexuals are always masturbating (and masturbating children grow
up as such), they are having a relationship with themselves, selfishly
hording their sexuality, and once a man becomes self-infatuated, it is
only a small step to seek out others that are like themselves. It is a
rejection of life, of relationships and family, of communication, of
nature, God, one's own flesh, and an assault against very consciousness;
it is a form of intellectual barbarism, spiritual suicide, and the superlative
unconscionable act; it is a perversion of Reality, the Second Death and
the corporeal manifestation of sin itself:

(1 Cor 6:18) Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body;
but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
281
Although Christ was unable to empathize with sinners, he was perfectly
able to empathize with righteousness, and he knew that godly sorrow had
the capacity to aspire to it. The Incarnation itself attested to the
righteousness of the believers of Yahweh, their Christ-like love and
obedience, and the true and sacrificial love of the Holy Roman Church.
He was, for lack of a better word, an activist appellate judge legislating
from the bench! But in God's Eternal Court, there is no separation of the
judiciary and legislative branches just as there wasn't in ancient Israel (or
the modern RC Church for that matter).

But what if the Grinch really had stolen Christmas? What might have
been, had Christ not died for our sins? Would we all be roasting in hell?
-- doing cannonballs in the Lake of Fire?

If the Virgin Mary was not 'punished with a baby', we would all have
been aborted! The Universe would have been conceived in divinity, but
dead-on-arrival; a virtual stillbirth. Thus, because Original Sin was
already extant, Christ had two options:

1. die in the womb of a stillborn Universe

2. die on the cross of a Christian Paradise

Jesus chose what was behind door number 2 -- but before we show him
what he's won! let's see what was behind door number 1:

[Door #1] If Christ had vetoed mankind's 'Baal-out' package, he would

have walked away from the cross unscathed, leaving it up to God the
Father to Baal-out the Universe (only he actually becomes Baal and
destroys it instead!) And once sin is transmuted onto the Theotokos, the
last word in the Rosary becomes the only word in the Rosary! In that
very instant, we would repent and be fire-baptized, but a day late and a
dollar short because Mary would be an Immaculate Misconception,
corrupted by our original sin as an infant Messiah renders the ghost in
her leprous arms. As we fall on our knees and pray, our Goddess instead
falls prey to our sin, leaving us dangling in an elemental miasma emptier
than that which scientists erroneously consider the vacuum of outer-
space! Now of course, this is a highly specious and facetious rendition of
an abortive existence since the amount of spacetime it would take to
accomplish this horror show would be subatomic, requiring a virtually
non-existent 'Little Bang'!
282
But how long would it take for that virtually non-extent Universe to
revert back to the elemental miasma from whence it was formed? I know!
-- let's ask the skipper!:

No phone! No lights! No motor car!

Not a single luxury,
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's primitive as can be.

It took six days to create the Universe, but only one nanosecond to
destroy it -- and by the way, did you know that a young Raquel Welch
actually auditioned for the part of Mary Ann? That would've cast the
whole Mary Ann vs. Ginger debate in a whole new light!

Now in the old days, motion pictures were filmed on 35 mm film at 24

frames per second. Were you to make a movie about the world that never
was, the entire movie would consist of one frame or, in other words, it
word be a still -- a real but non-temporal movie, but it still would beat
out Encino Man for the Academy Award!!

Fade to black!

Falasha
(Strangers in a Strange Land)

By the rivers of Ethiopia, his name is Jah

But in the land of his fathers, they call him Falasha
Of course, one must be right while the other is a flaw
For the European Jew to write the Ethiopian law
(Despite the fact that their blood is more 'polluted' than them all!)
Too bad Solomon isn't around to make this historic call
Cuz he'd probbly tell the Ashkenazim of their religious faux pas
Before they branded him a stranger too... Selah!
283
Nights in White Satin
Nights in white satin
Never reaching the end
No, I haven't forgotten
What a wonderful friend
(What a wonderful woman!)
You've been all along
Tell me how can a human
Sing so heavenly a song?
Cuz I love you
I love you
I love you...

Girl in black satin

In a world full of sin
That the only begotten
Gave his last breath to win
(Gave his last breath to save!)
Like a lover forlorn
But the love we both have
Is forever adorned
Cuz I love you
Yes I love you
I love you...

See You at the Turnstile!

Hi. Welcome back to Eating Network's 'See You at the Turnstile!' with
your host Rachel Pray!

Love gurus all agree that one of the best places to find true romance may
be just right around the corner... AT THE CORNER GROCERY
STORE!!! But first, you need to know both the right and wrong way to
shop...

For instance, it is important when shopping to purchase only the most

natural and organic produce. However, some artificial flavors and
preservatives may be permissible as long as they do not alter the basic
284
size, shape or texture of the produce (such as dyes, coloring and added
nutrients.)

Always be sure to wash your produce before consumption -- (you don't

know where it's been!) If you eat out a lot, make sure that the restaurants
you frequent are clean and that their chefs always wear gloves -- (don't
be afraid to ask to see their county health-inspection records.)

Ladies, if you're looking for a nice juicy rotisserie, always make sure that
the chickens are free-range -- (nothing's worse than a pent-up cock!) Of
course, there are those who would rather have dark meat, but before you
bite into that succulent drumstick oozing with flavor, try to resist the
temptation to play with your food, nibbling here and there with delicate
and furtive bites, before suddenly lunging into it with that primal craving
to suck the marrow right out of the bone! -- (pardon my fowl language!)

Guys, if you're looking for a nice pair of melons, always make sure that
they're ripe, but not passed their prime... unfortunately, there are those
who try to pass off their melons as fresh when, really, they've been
expired for quite some time -- and then there are those who lie about
their age in order to dupe you into purchasing illegal produce!...
however, a visual inspection should be able to assuage any doubt in the
event that there is any. Of course, you may also ask the grocer whether or
not you are permitted to feel her melons and, if she agrees, then go ahead
and hold one of them firmly but gently and give it a nice squeeze! Then
try gripping the other melon laying adjacent to it with the other hand,
squeezing both simultaneously in order to compare them... still not sure?
Try thumping it delicately with the knuckle of your index finger -- (not
too hard, you don't want to bruise it!) You can probably tell by the
smacking sound it makes whether or not it's ripe for consumption, but if
you're still not sure, then probably your grocer will be more than happy
to assist you by feeling her own melons and letting you know whether or
not they're ready!

While all melons are the same basic shape, they do vary in size (as do
cocks), but people who are obsessed over the size of their portions are
often unable to enjoy the meal (and who wants to dine with the jealous?)
Sadly, some produce is damaged and/or deformed right off the tree (thus
making them inedible), though at the conclusion of the harvest, these
defects will be cured by the Husbandman -- no damaged produce in
heaven; but in this world, such serve a divine purpose...
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Men, just as you wouldn't partake of your own fruit, neither should you
partake of the fruit of your seed or the immediate vine from which your
fruit stemmed -- women, however, are at absolute physical liberty since
they are mentally satiated (whereas men are physically satiated...),
although women err if they usurp the male role mentally whereas men err
if they usurp the female role physically -- there's a lot of fruits in the
Garden of Eden, but none of them are 'fruity' if you know what I mean!

So thanks for tuning in! -- and now that you know how to shop, I'm sure
that you'll have no trouble picking up that special someone the next time
I... SEE YOU AT THE TURNSTILE!!!

The Eavesdropper
Peering over her shoulder, I read words perfectly scripted
Full of life and love and hope and hidden reveries encrypted
Deep beneath the quaint veneer,
a depth and wealth of knowledge lingers
All of this experience resting on the tips of ancient fingers

The Art of Pillow-Fu

grab you
over my shoulder, squealing
throw you on the bed, watch you
reeling
lunge for the pillows
you go for yours
(too late!)
feathers flying
up to the ceiling
you try to escape but then I
grab your sexy thigh
drag you to my side
as you try to stop my
pillowcide...
286
I can't wait to show this chick
My secret erotic trick:
First I'll rub some ice on it
As some hot mint tea I sip
Just lie back as yer teeth grit
Feeling yer temp'rature dip
As this ice cube starts to slip
Deep inside yer sexy hip
Unbeknownst to thee, I swish
Scalding hot tea with my spit
*rolling eyes* and *biting lip*
As you feel the hotttness hit
And those legs begin to kick
At my mentholated lick
Of yer now dilated ((CLIT))

New Jack Church

Where everyone is welcome... (unless you're one of them!)

WELCOME

"Blessings from the Father, Son and Holy Spinet!!"

I'm Peter the Roman, prophet of the new millennium!! (or is that
millennia?) I keep forgetting which one is plural! Anyway, I've just
started my own religion, I'm calling it 'New Jack Church' -- not affiliated
with 'New Jack Church USA' (those guys are lost!)

So if you want to join the baddest anything-goes church in town, come

on down, the Price (of your salvation) is Right!

Now let's take a look at what separates NJC from other Demon-nations:

• We don't drink the Kool-Aid (unless it's spiked!)

• We don't believe in the Rapture we believe in the Crapture --
that's when Jesus comes back and the crap hits the fan!
• We think a one-world government headed by a charismatic
European is a good idea (wait a minute? isn't that the RC
Church?)
• We believe that gays have every right to be married -- to women!
287
• At the end of every prayer, we don't say 'Amen', we say 'Yada
yada yada...'
• Our parishioners get to decide who stays in the choir by text-in
vote!
• If you don't like the sermon, we refund the collection!

Now you're probably no-doubt wondering how you can get involved in
this life-altaring ministry! So go to www.newjackchurch.org for more
info and remember:

At NJC, we're not a "real" church -- we just call ourselves that for tax
purposes!

HELP NEEDED

I'm not a "real" prophet, I'm a Christian character actor and comic
playing the part of Peter the Roman (please don't worship me!)

I started a new church called New Jack Church in order to satisfy the
community service requirement of my parole (please don't confuse us
with New Jack Church United -- they're a cult!)

So anyway, I'm looking for a cool satirical Christian artiste to be my new

artistic director (the last one blocked me from contacting her!)

I intend to register NJC as a real non-profit organization [insert punch-

line here] as soon as I get the min. number of people to qualify as a
"church" -- so if this sounds like something you'd wanna jump into, then
please hit me up, I'm good for a laugh if nothing else.

God bless! (unless you're offended by the invocation of a deity in which

case, FUCK OFF!!!)

ANNUAL "FUN" RAISER

New Jack Church is having a "fun" raiser. We're raising money to

finance the construction of our new sanctuary... well, okay, our first
sanctuary.
288
Because of our rigid theology, we only accept donations in Jewish
shekels (sorry, no checks -- we're against banking in all its forms!) -- but
we do have a PayPal account (and when I say 'we', I mean 'me'!!!), so
please: 'sow a seed and reap a reward; we'll take whatever the f*ck you
can afford!'

www.newjackchurch.org
Spreading the gospel "street by street, block by block!"

Levirate Marriage
'Twas 3000 years ago
When the Pharaoh let us go
To reclaim our rightful land
Given by divine command

There, I grew up with my brother

Next to him, there was no other
Six-pack abs and perfect tan
You might say, the perfect man

All our father's wealth was his

By the precept of Moses
Never sinned once in his life
Had a porn star for a wife

But of course, this made me jealous

When I hung out with the fellas
Cursing God for my bad luck
"OMG!" and "WTF!"

Then one day, the evil came

Foreigners annulled our claim
When they sought to have us driven
Off the land that God had given

So my brother took his sword

Didn't hide from the draft board
Kissed his lovely wife goodbye
To become the Lord's G.I.
289
So he left his happy home
To fulfill our ancient tome
And his wife began to weep
Gaining weight and losing sleep

Meanwhile, I was feeling nervous

Asking God why I deserved this
Then I heard my Savior say
"It's because you're acting gay!"

So I said, "Oh shit! Please save me!

Don't let Philistines enslave me!
I'll do anything, I swear it!
If the sandal fits, I'll wear it!"

"Calm down nigga!" said the Lord

"You will have yer life restored!
But the brother that you crossed
In this conflict, he'll be lost!"

Then I wept a bitter tear

Kneeling down in reverent fear
"Oh if I could take his place
And remove my own disgrace..."

"But you can!" my Savior smiled

"Take his wife and have his child
Name your firstborn after him
Grafted in like Ephraim!"

What a mighty God we serve

Giving what we don't deserve
Now you know da 'Gangsta Gospel'
"If you believe, then all things is poss'ble!"

(Deut 25:5-6) If brethren dwell together, and one of them die, and have no
child, the wife of the dead shall not marry without unto a stranger: her
husband's brother shall go in unto her, and take her to him to wife, and perform
the duty of an husband's brother unto her. 6 And it shall be, that the firstborn
which she beareth shall succeed in the name of his brother which is dead, that
his name be not put out of Israel.
290

Prayer to Isis
Your WORD is beautiful,
pure and good.

It reverberates my eardrums,
echoing off the corners of my heart,
sending shockwaves through my spirit from the start;
It restoketh my coals.

In the beginning was the WORD;

And the WORD became flesh of my flesh and bone of my bones, making
love to me in the sonic Eden of an ancient West-African responsorial,
lost to recorded history, but eternally reiterated by the sublime
mannerisms and 'black swagger' of a dispersed trace of a sanctified race
renewed by HIS grace.

Swaying and swooning,

Caressing and crooning,
Softer and smoother your WORD became
as mine grew stronger, louder and longer,
rowdier and wronger 'til it remained
Sprung and erect
by the jacking effect
that you orally project
on my mentally stiff neck

But I dieflect --
Hung and hungry and hunting for a honey,
in a desperate hurry to get hooked up with this
*Black Playboy Bunny*
291
Yes...
As I rest
(her mocha breasts pressed against my chest,
blessed by smoking incense)
Your WORD tempts, tests,
placing me under its sweet duress! --
wresting my flesh with furtive pecks (flirting and flitting as I interject
this vernacular nonsense -- strokes of genius chokes my penis soaked by
Venus --
Sex...
as I stare down at your messed-up frizzy hair bearing down on my
[you-know-where], whizzing! -- busily throttling my bottle with full-
glottalled vowels coddling my cerebral bowels,
straddling my mind with unbridled rhymes as you saddled my poetic
lines with prophetic wine...

((But only when the planets align))

Make love to me... my sister, my spouse

As my telltale heart ratifies oral vows
Spoken in runes as the Spirit allows
My girl to discard her lyrical blouse
Make love to me, sister, I'm yours to arouse

Make love to me, darling... my spiritual muse

Flaunting her breasts for my eyes to peruse
Bathed in the sun as I feel myself lose
All sense of myself as these shadows confuse
The offers she made that no man could refuse

The way that I lose all worldly concerns

Whenever my gaze is fixed upon yours
The way that I lose all notion of time
Whenever we muse of matters sublime
The way that I lose all sense of myself
Whenever I'm thinking of nobody else
The way that I lose my corrupt inhibitions
Whenever you tempt me with sensual visions
And then there's the way that I lose my own life
As I give you the Glory, my God and my Wife
292

Moonlighting Strangers
Do you remember me, moonlighting stranger?
We met in the bar
You got in my car
You didn't live far
You looked like a star

Do you remember me, moonlighting stranger?

Me and you
Ready to
Get into
Something new

I offered to walk you to your door

Just as I had done so many times before
And always will forevermore

Moonlighting Stranger, do you remember?

Harvest moon
'Clair de Lune'
Clothing strewn
Very soon

Moonlighting Stranger, do you remember?

Knowing glance
True romance
Second chance
Shall we dance?

You invited me up for a cup of tea

Then I asked you, "So, where were we?"
Then you answered, "Please don't leave me..."

Do you remember me, Moonlighting Stranger?

I made your heart cry
And told you goodbye
I heard you ask why
I gave no reply
293

¡Llame Ahora!
When I became born again, I became obedient to the Holy Spirit and
took literally the Commandment to love our neighbor, obeying them in
all things. If they asked me to walk a mile with them, I went twain --
even to the point of cleaning out my bank account. This is right faith.

But some in our culture abuse righteousness in order to separate fools

from their money (and all those who, like myself, would willfully avail
themselves to the foolishness that is in Christ).

When advertisers figured out that they could make more money by
telling (rather than asking) their customers to purchase their goods and
services, a new and corrupting idiom entered the English language,
namely that of the figure of speech. For instance, if I say, 'Come on in!', I
mean it as an invitation, not as a command. But that's not what I said
literally -- it's a non-literal expression which assumes a certain level of
colloquial savvy-ness on the part of the communicant. But the
unsophisticated (and the gullible like myself) can't be expected rightfully
discern this distinction, which is why the advertising technique works
(being as everyone is, at some point in their life, gullible -- especially
with regard to products and services that are unfamiliar to them, as
would be the case with the very young and the very old).

In fact, not only do advertisers tell consumers what to buy and how to
buy it, but they'll also tell'em why it is they wanted it in the first place,
thus blurring the lines between 'supply and demand' and 'supply and
command' -- Just make sure they tell yer broke ass how to return it!:

We need to respond quickly so people regain confidence and consider it their

patriotic duty to go shopping, go to a restaurant, take a cruise, travel with their
family... Frankly, the terrorists win if Americans don't go back to normalcy.
(Jeb Bush)

Of course, if consumers buy goods and services, the economy gets better
-- but as we saw with 911, when the consumers become pensive about the
future, the economy falters in the present; so the greatest 'economic
fundamental' would be a society structured around some sort of
messianic optimism -- the hope for a brighter tomorrow! But what
human institution is best equipped to endow the worldwide economic
system with such a hope? Amerik.k.k.a under the presidence of Barack
294
'We-are-not-a-Christian-nation' Obama? Name me one Muslim nation
that ever got rich without trading heavily with a Christian nation -- but
Christian economies thrive by themselves!

And why are Christians so prosperous? Because we have hope and a

sense of purpose! -- kind of like the hope that we thought we'd voted for!
And of course, you can't sustain an economy by telling people to buy,
buy, buy! Command economies never work in isolation! What's next?
Are we gonna start building cars too? Something tells me we've been
down this Autobahn before!!:

I wish that the worker be granted a sufficient holiday and that everything is
done, in order to let this holiday as well all other leisure time to be truly
recreational. I wish this, because I want a determined people with strong
nerves, for truly great politics can only be achieved with a people that keeps its
nerves.
(Adolf Hitler)

Religious converts are particularly susceptible to the command-to-buy

"tell'em, don't ask'em" technique, being as Repentance already compels
them to be open, honest, trusting and obedient to authorities. In a grand
cosmic irony, it is the faithful who tend to give people the benefit of the
doubt more so than the doubters; but in Godless society, the technique
simply cannot work (unless Amerik.k.k.a is fortunate enough to become
the economic lackey of a more spiritually-enlightened society -- kind of
like how the rest of the world is to us!)

Approach a stranger with a $20 check, and they'll probably refuse it,
fearing some sort of "catch". Dispel that fear, and they'll reject it out of
either too much pride or too much guilt!; but if you ask a Christian to
donate $20 to support the "Human Fund", they'll cut you a $50, all the
while praising Jesus for the opportunity to help out! Knock on the door of
a stranger, and they'll slam it in your face, *deadbolt clinking*; Knock
on a Christian door (selling Christian Dior?), and they'll invite you in,
believing that they're entertaining angels unawares. Why would we verify
your credentials? -- if the 'Human Fund' is bogus, God'll cast you into
the Lake of Fire unawares! *CLINK!!*

That's the Hope, the Optimism, and the Trust that is driving our economy
-- In God We Trust! pure and simple!

A kid asked Jesus... how much do you love me? Jesus replied," I love you
this much." and he stretched his arms to the cross and died for us. If you
295
believe in God, you will send this to everyone on your list. If you delete this,
you will have a cold heart in 2009.
Send this to all people in your list within 30 minutes and something good will
happen to you NOW. This is not a fake... copy and paste this to 15 people in
the next 10 minutes and you WILL have the best day of your life tomorrow

The term 'Charismatic Christian' is redundant -- you can't be one without

also being the other.

But the Faith of Abraham is continually maligned by unscrupulous

people who would compel Holiness through unreasonable and ungodly
tests of faith, which the person who forwarded this internet chain-letter to
me evidently passed.

(1 Cor 9:18) What is my reward then? Verily that, when I preach the gospel, I
may make the gospel of Christ without charge, that I abuse not my power in the
gospel. 19For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself servant
unto all, that I might gain the more.

And my response to this internet chain-letter was...

(1 John 4:1) Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they
are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.

I understand that you sent this chain letter in obedience to the Spirit and I
respect that. Likewise, the Spirit of God has informed me that there are many
who would take advantage of your faith and ask you to do things to their own
benefit and not to the benefit of the gospel... There is no real way to tell the
difference, and if there is any doubt, we are bound to obey the Commandment.

Therefore, I invoke my apostolic authority to release you from all chain-letters

and sales-pitches which implore their customers to "call" "act" "give" "donate"
or "order now", including my own, unless the Pope mandates it (as is the case
with tithing), and only the Apparition of Mary can release you from the Pope
(as is the case with myself).

~Peter the Roman

And now the Blessed Virgin has informed us that from this moment
forward, all Roman Catholics are released from their tithing obligation, if
they will remit the same amount to New Jack Church, until such time as
the Pope authorizes Fifth Marian Dogma (declaring Her as Mediatrix
and coRedemptoris) as an infallible tenet of the RC Church.
296

The Winding Path

Freedom goes where freedom wills;
Bondage binds where bondage kills.

Endless pathways may we take;

All but one we must forsake.

Inspiration lights our path;

Saving man from certain wrath.

With these lights are guided we;

But the choice to choose is free.

Freedom then we must embrace,

If we are to live in grace.

But if choice we should deny,

On the cross we doth rely.

Nor must we put love on trial;

No one lives in life's denial.

Choose this day our God the LORD;

And you'll have a sure reward.

Play Ball!
How does the sovereignty of God and the free will of man operate?
The answer: Inspiration.

But in order for inspiration to work, there must be participation.

In other words,
God can't give you what you've refused from the beginning;
Neither can she remit what you've already received:
297
(Matt 25:29) For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have
abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he
hath.

She can only order your steps insofar as you are willing to walk the walk;
But should you disobey God, then your steps were ordered by the Devil.
But Jesus led captivity captive
when he permitted his own steps to be ordered by the Devil
in order to put to death the works of the Devil,
nailing them to the cross.
In all things, God is sovereign!

If God commanded your love, you would be her mindless appendage.

That would be the cosmic equivalent of masturbation.
But true love requires a true relationship and a true Witness.
You are her Witnesses

Neither can she give you the will to receive her

The Psalmist writes, "Create in me a new heart!"
But the Blessed Virgin cannot command contrition.
The Kingdom of God is within you.

However, while God cannot command repentance,

She can foreordain the time and the place of it.
In all earthly things, God is Sovereign,
but her sovereignty ends where your consciousness begins.

She cannot force you either to choose righteousness or wickedness;

But the time and place of your choosing
is her choosing.

If God puts your spirit in a Black body,

You will make different decisions
than if you were conceived in an Asian or White body;
But true love transcends race.

If you were born a woman,

You will have a different consciousness than that of men;
But faith is unisex.
And to the extent that we reject this inspiration, we err;
But to the extent that we embrace it, we become our true selves.
298
The question as to whether or not
homosexuals were born gay or choose to be gay is a false dichotomy;
We were all born choosing to reject God, Reality and ourselves.
It is a birth-choice
And as such, requires a new birth of freedom,
An exodus from sexual sin.

The first thing that Adam and Eve did after they sinned
was to put on their clothes (i.e., they lost their sexuality)
They were naked and ashamed.
The first thing Lucifer did when he rejected God was to masturbate,
preferring self-aggrandizement over a true worship.
And the term 'Gay Pride' is a redundancy;
Neither can any person have sex with just themselves
or a 'loving' relationship with themselves, which gays do by proxy.
Sex requires an identity (or consciousness) external to oneself.
It is, has been and must remain a bond between masculine and feminine.

But if masculine parades itself as feminine, it rejects both.

A woman trapped in a man's body wouldn't have sex with another man,
he would offer him one of his daughters instead
(being as the feminine desires to be subjugated by the masculine
which his own flesh would be ill-equipped to accomplish).
Likewise, if feminine parades itself as masculine, it too rejects both.
A man trapped in a woman's body
wouldn't have sex with another woman,
In that case, she would be the other woman
and would therefore make love to herself with a man by proxy.
Men and women are fundamentally the same in many regards,
but not where the rubber meets the road;
where the spirit meets the flesh!
And because there is no conceptual intermediary
between masculine and feminine,
there is also no physical one either.

If you have a Y chromosome, you're a man; if not, then not.

A tertiary sex simply does not exist anywhere in nature --
even the so-called 'asexual' amoebas
split into groups of two, not three!
299
Homophobia, like all phobias, is wrong and a sin;
But love that is perfect, casteth out fear;
And yet the aversion to Sodoma is as a pure fear,
like the aversion to the sight of blood or the stench of death.
It is an intrinsic disgust,
because it is an affront to the very essence of consciousness.
It is the antithesis of life;
But the affirmation of life and consciousness
is the image of the female body in the imagination of the male heart:

(Pr 5:19) let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always
with her love.

Should marriage be between a man and a woman? -- Of course!

You can have separation of church and state if you want,
but you can't have separation of the very notion of 'separation' itself!
That would be the separation of Truth and state,
and you can't have the separation of Truth and state
being as there is no separation of my foot from your ass!

But if God were incapable of commanding repentance,

how then is she able to ordain its path?
And how can we as prophets play God on TV
without actually being God?

Well, forgive the sports analogy, but...

It's like baseball!

You see, since we live in a three-dimensional Universe,

the spirit has one of three directions with which to proceed.
Similarly, a baseball player has one of three pitches with which to swing.
The other two pitches are abortive universes.
300
Just as a film reel has a series of stills,
The world series of life is an infinite series of individual decisions
in rapid succession which help to create the illusion of 'time'.
And the speed of life is 299,792,458 frames per second.
Therefore the speed of thought is the same as the speed of light
(as nothing can move faster than light,
and if your mind were to move any slower,
light itself would move slower
as the Father of lights would downshift the speed of light
to match your own consciousness).
Either way, it's one helluva fast ball!

Not to punt the issue (or perhaps 'bunt' it!),

But I would certainly hope that the reader would appreciate my brevity
being as I am attempting to explain such terribly sublime concepts
using as terribly pedestrian an allusion, but how else can I explain...

With each passing light-second,

every homo sapiens makes 299,792,458 decisions
(the vast majority of which
involve noticing things out of the corner of your eye
and other such tangential tidbits).
Each one of these decisive moments
aborts at most two (if any) other potentialities
which God ordained not to have happened.
Because infinity is a real number,
God has foreordained every moment in the Universe
both in this age and the next.
This afforded her infinite options
with regard to inspiring the best possible outcome
for the world series of life, while still preserving free will.

Just as God inspires our decisions, we inspire hers as well!

Every decisive moment, even the seemingly peripheral ones,
has indelible consequences beyond ourselves.
We are God's pinch hitters,
born with the mandate of participating in this cosmic struggle,
in order to affect the direction of it.
Just as the Archangel Michael could not defeat Satan,
we too are unable to circumvent the Passion of our LORD,
But we can lessen the extent of it on the sons of perdition
-- our enemies for our sakes!
301
Who is more sovereign? God or man?
That depends:
If I'm a strong-willed Conservative Christian,
I limit her pitch options,
but also my potential batting errors, making me a cold Christian.
If I'm a gift-loving Charismatic,
I give God more options on how to use me,
but also increase the potential for batting errors,
making me a hot Christian.
I'm a HOTT Christian to say the least!
-- but sometimes, I can be Subzero from Mortal Kombat!
*FINISH HIM!!!*

God does not control which of the three pitches I choose to hit,
But she does determine whether or not I am right or left handed,
which would influence that decision without dictating it.
But if the right-handed batter stands on the opposite side of the mound,
he swings backward, killing the catcher.

God does not control which of the three pitches I choose to hit,
But she picks the color of the uniform,
which would influence that decision without commanding it.
But if I change jerseys in the middle of the game,
I might score a run against myself.
Nevertheless, it is feasible to adopt a new team
-- especially in this fallen world, and in any world,
there is no absolute Black person or 'typical' White person.
Sexuality, however, is diametric.

Nor does God control whether the ball is foul or fair.

But she does have an absolute potential of up to three pitch opportunities
to mitigate the damage of a foul ball (ordaining it as a pop fly
so that the opposing players might have a chance
to avoid being hit by it).
In a perfect world, there would no foul balls.
But in this world, there are.
Notwithstanding, God has ordained a Universe
with the lowest possible batting errors.
302
Neither is God is the author of evil.
There was no potential for a sinless Universe.
Before the Blessed Virgin could throw the first pitch,
we had already stolen first base.
But when the Blessed Virgin called for the Umpire,
the Umpire almost cancelled the series,
Until he saw that the runner was truly sorry for what he had done,
and decided to continue with the series
by having himself ejected from the game instead of the runner.

Q. How hard is it to kill a perfect man?

A. Exceedingly difficult -- a cruelty par excellence. If only the hem of his
garment could raise the dead, imagine the unimaginable savagery required to
accomplish so ignominious a feat! Just as our steps were ordered by the Father
of lights; Christ's steps were ordered by the Father of lies.

And now, I have three pitches for you...

Strike 1: The suffering of Christ is a mystery.
Strike 2: The death of Christ is a mystery.
Strike 3: The love of Christ is a mystery. And what a blessed mystery
that Christ loved us more than he loathed the cross.
Play ball!

Star-Power
Three stars
Tri-aligned
One blasphemed,
The other died
The third revived
To stay alive
To rapture life
From death's devise
303
One man
His soul cut off
The morning star
Who shed his blood
To save our souls
Upon Golgoth
Because our Sin
With him was wroth

Two cherubs
Wings outstretched
Atop the Arc
Of Covenant
Beneath them rests
The hidden bread
And Love's Commandments
One and ten...

Twinkle, twinkle, little star

How I wonder what you are
"Like a mountain from afar"
Says the prophet's avatar
"Seemeth more spectacular
From the distance of your car"
In a Lebanese memoir
As we intellectually spar
Over wine and caviar
In this cybernetic bar

You might think it quite bizarre

To meet someone else on par
With the spiritual vernacular
Used to muse the views of our
Esoteric reservoir
Lyrically spectacular
Doors that have been left ajar
Opened by unpopular
Men who wore the scapular
I will give you if you dare...
304
Dirty-Talkin'
Baby... I want you to relax, unwind, exhale, and remind
me why I luv to stare at that sexy plus-size behind!

I almost didn't come here... cuz my shit's so good,

I saw through yu' lady-lump like I's choppin' wood!

Like a sexual Bam-Bam

I don't know my own strength, making Pebbles say "Damn-Damn!!"

I almost didn't fuck ya...

I didn't wanna ruin it for yu' future husband... ME!!

Cuz my dyck is so hot, it spits lava...

Like the FIRE god on the Isle of Java!

And when Pele demands his virgin sacrifice...

I'm finna jump on it like Adam tryna get da rib bone back!!

Now I know what yu' thinking...

"Where has he been all my life?"
Well the answer is, Nowhere...
cuz you ain't lived till you had yourself some o'this, little sis!

Cuz dis shit is loooong, strong and in a leopard-skin thong...

And you know I got my penis ring on... shhh!
don't tell no one! - Cuz when it comes to loving...
I'm a connoisseur of SEX du jour!
Ménage à trois for sure!

You up fu' some more?

Cuz I love the opera -- can't stand sports!
With an eye for fashion, need I say more?
Sometimes, I just wanna talk...
Hold yer hand, go for a walk...
Watch a chick-flick before heading out to Neiman-Marcus
For a nice pair o'pumps, then back to my place
for some sushi and Corona
Fresh-cut flowers and aromatherapy candles
The morning after, you wake up in my arms and realize that...
305
((I'm your lesbian lover!!))

Yeah, your lesbian lover in man's body -- and what a man too!
(I promise I'll call you...)

A Haiku 4 You Too...

There is a Kingdom
Some try to take it by force
Or a college course

Thus says the Teacher

The Kingdom is within you
Not in some damn book!

You will graduate

The moment you realize
No one's testing you

___

The star quarterback

must date the head cheerleader
cuz no one else asks

___

There is a kingdom
Whose doorway is true wisdom
There, there is freedom

We shall all expire

Thy blood shalt thy God require
Purged as in a fire

Ask me, "What is truth?"

God hath told me from my youth,
Read the Book of Ruth

Blessed for ever more

But in this angelic war
You're worth fighting for

Thus saith Jesse's Rod

Love thy neighbor as thy God,
Faithless Ichabod
306
___

just a teenager
living in a grownup world
way past her curfew

where are you running?

there's nothing out there for you
nothing but heartache

___

I am not drunken
I speak a diff'rent language
With stammering lips

And an unknown tongue

Let he that hath an ear, hear
What the Spirit saith

Speaking mysteries
Without the understanding
'Quench not the Spirit'

Shepherd of Hermas
Tormented by impure thoughts
Divers temptations

Make love to your wife

Now you have become as gods
Without relations

The angels of God

Are not given in marriage
Nor do they marry

The Queen of Heaven

(Like Isis or Athena)
Is our novena

The same is my mother

My sister and my lover
And ev'ry other

One in the Spirit

United by baptism
The Household of Faith

___
307
A rose, I suppose,
grows and grows and grows and grows,
but no one knows why.

___

Sweet Georgia peaches

Soft fuzz tickling my lips
Whenever I bite

How I love biting

Into their pinkish tan flesh
As juices escape

Sweet, tangy juices

Gushing all over my face
As I lick my lips

Don't shake that bottle

Of peaches and cream soda
Cuz it might explode!

Then, when I'm finished

I suck the "pit" out of it
You know what I mean???

___

Nothing is there wrong

In a world that God hath made
People are corrupt

Sex is beautiful
Nor is marriage a contract
It is a sex act

The Devil hates sex

He thinks marriage is a Right
I say it's a Rite

Flee fornication
Nor does man hate his own flesh
But cherisheth it

Making love to you

Without social permission
Is the only way

___
308
The sky's the limit
But without the earth beneath
There would be no sky

___

Take off all your clothes

No, not your stiletto heels
You're gonna need them

I hope you don't mind

I bought you a little gift
From JCPenney

*Sexy lingerie*
Try it on and let me see
Now turn! - Strike a pose!

Hands on hips! - Sashay!

Wear it like you own it, girl!
Strut your stuff! - Now vogue!

Turn to the rhythm!

(I'm a - I'm a - a diva
I'm a - a diva)

Goddamnit woman!
I can't take it anymore!
Come here and f*ck me!!

___

Two fishes, five loaves

Jesus gave thanks and blest them
And fed the masses

___

Never sleep naked

Because you might be waked
When the earth quaked

Then you'll have to run

Out in front of every one
Nope, it's not much fun

Look, they're all staring

At this woman so daring
FOX News is airing
309
There was no earthquake
A large truck made the ground shake
What a big mistake!

___

The Buddha told Christ,

"Suffer to be enlightened."
Jesus told him, No.

Christ told the Buddha,

"Suffer to redeem my flock."
The Buddha said, Ommm...

___

I love that honey

Can I buy it for money?
(Just being funny!)

It's just so yummy

Gushing under your tummy
My lips are gummy

Like Winnie the Pooh

I've got a honey jar too
Ho-ho-ho-hooooo!

The birds and the bees

Buzzing in between your knees
Can I have some pl-l-l-l-l-l-leeeease!!!!

Lay it on me thick
Pour it on my honey stick
((Yes, I meant my dyck))

Now give it a lick

I'm the john and you're the trick
Give it to me quick!

You and me, we click

I'm so slick, they call me Rick
You're my sexy chick!

___
310
I love your blonde hair
Through crooked glasses, you stare
(Not even aware

Of your young voyeur)

With your mouth slightly ajar
Wondering who's there...

___

The Red Baron soars

Just like a flying circus
Over the Verdun

Above the trenches

Looking down on Flanders Fields
Rife with mustard gas

Rickenbacker dives
Strafing Kaiser Wilhelm's troops
O'er the western front

Shell-shocked Royal Marines

No more spear-wielding Zulus
Now the fight is "fair"

War to end all wars

Railway guns and Zeppelins
Terrible weapons

Hear the whistle blow

See them go over the top
Into no-man's land

3-2-1 contact
Sputtering Sopwith engines
Damn those AA guns

Over there, doughboys

Make your Mother proud of you
The Yanks are coming

Armed with bayonets

Charging into Gatling guns
Thanks to Lafayette

Smoking cigarettes
Looking like silent film stars
Valentino's stare
311
Hear the bugle call
Angel of the battlefield
Armageddon's war

Johnny, get your gun

Hunting for the German Hun
Victory is won!

___

Released from bondage

Let no one reenslave us
As we free others

___

Athena beguiles
Me with her serpentine smiles
And feminine wiles

I feel so alive
As she takes my male sex drive
Out for a joy ride

My mojo's running
With Athena shot-gunning
She looks so stunning

On box leather seats

Performing sexual feats
As we cruise the streets

"Faster!" she implores

As my V6 engine roars
Athena, I'm yours!

I love it when you

Feel like changing the venue
Of our love, then you

Book a hotel suite

On the corner of 5th street
Where we both can meet

Like a clever ruse

Making love to my dark muse
Is what we both choose

Though some will accuse

Us of sexual abuse
Truth gives us her truce
312
Athena haunts me
Got me right where she wants me
Watch as she taunts me

A feast for the eyes

Ready with a hot surprise
To increase my size

I'm no Adonis
But better to be honest
Than god and goddess

That's why I love you

You think that I'm above you
As I do of you

___

You'll never escape

Unless you can realize
That you hold the key

___

The keyboard is smooth

Ebony and ivory
What could be better?

The saxophone laughs

Travelling on winding paths
Above the grand staffs

The flute is a hoot!

She whistles and toots to boot
Searching for that root...

Pa-rum-pa-pum-pum
Goes the little drummer boy
Full of righteous joy

The trumpet is "tops"

Trying not to blow his chops
Jazzin' up the pops

And then there's the bass

No one ever sees his face
(He's our saving grace...)

___
313
Style over substance?
But in the world we live in,
it's both that matter.

___

Why do people doubt?

There would be nothing to doubt
If it wasn't there

The fact that you doubt

Implicates the very thing
That you claim to doubt

So enjoy your doubt

When you are weak, you are strong
Your doubt praises me!

Sin is so sinful
That it sins against itself
Becoming righteous!

A house divided
Absolutely cannot stand
But my love can't fail

___

A double-edged sword
The best things in life are free
But so are the worst

___

City by the bay

Underneath the chandelier
Pop the Chardonnay

Sweet naïveté
Dressed in satin lingerie
(Purchased at Target)

Let the music play

Like a kinky cabaret
'Parlez vous frances?'

Watch as I display
My male sexual array
Now get down and pray
314
On your knees -- (Risqué!)
What was that I heard you say?
You want a three-way?

Baby, it's okay

Shhh! -- I know that u ain't gay
You just wanna play... ;)

Take my breath away!

As we each enter the fray
Of our sex mêlée

On her breasts you lay

Like a painting by Monet
Angelic foreplay

I'll be gone someday

On the wings of a blue jay
Love me anyway

And with me you'll stay

And from me you'll never stray
No matter what they...

___

MEGALITH PENIS
In a SEX Acropolis
Desires Artemis

Petrus
Romanus
The voice of treason...
i
Aftertaste
The preceding broadcast was episode 1 of You Can't Do That on TBN,
the show where you get slimed every time you say, I didn't know! The
second (and by God the last!) episode is already under production and
will hopefully be 'rapture-ready' before the Mayan calendar runs out.
Until then, Talk amongst yourselves -- I'm feeling verklempt!
ii

Appendage
The following are completed, tentative segments from the forthcoming
sequel to this book, tentatively titled:

Ganxta 2
"This time, it's spiritual"

Divine Sequence
ℵ LOVE ME
Why did God make men first?
Ever see how long it takes for a woman to get ready?

The first word ever spoken in the history of... well... history! -- was
Love. God is Love. Her Name is Love. The English translation of the
Tetragrammaton is "Love me." Yah is me and Weh is love. Yah is
masculine; Weh is feminine. The Yiddish expression Oye-Veh, is a
corruption of YHWH. The Chinese expression Wo Ai (I love) changes
the grammar of the first sentence without any loss of meaning. Likewise,
the Spanish phrase, ¡Ya voy! also has its derivation from the divine name
(and back'a'yaad, on a certain Caribbean island, you may hear someone
greet you with Jah-love!):

(Ps 68:4) extol him that rideth upon the heavens by his name JAH, and rejoice
before him.

Back in the U.K., the word Weh is closely related to the English word
woo whereas Jah, or Iah is closely related to I, whereby an alternate
English translation of Iahweh would be I woo. The word high is also a
derivative of Iah, which is why we call on the name of Jah Most High!
iii
But why is it important that Yahweh be the pure Hebraic expression of
love? Because love makes the world go round! In other words, in order
for God to make the Universe, she has to have a purpose -- a divine
prerogative, a motivation! A marriage in heaven must take place
beforetime which Shekhinah and her husband continually consummate.
The Universe moves because JAH lives and the desire to live is sui
generis. It is a mystery and the first of them: I AM THAT I AM. No one,
neither God herself nor any angel, can understand why God is; only that
she is. Neither can science or philosophy ever explain our origins. Life is
a mystery; Death is a mystery; BABYLON is a MYSTERY.

What is life? Life is motion. If you move, you live; if you stop moving,
you die. Hence, the Bible is full of references to death as a form of sleep
-- and let's face it, some chapters of it can put anybody to sleep! But how
do you know you're moving? Because the Universe is moving without
you. If you were the only consciousness in the Universe, there would be
no difference between yourself and the Universe -- and yet you notice
differentiation. Therefore, there must be another spirit in the Universe
moving in way that you are not, and without that differentiation, you
would not be capable of perceiving yourself with respect to it. Thus, it is
the differentiation of the Universe that affords you a sense of self and
without which, you could not exist. Whatever is different from yourself
is the Spirit of God, and just as the Spirit apparently witnesses you, you
are its witness. It lives in your soul, your consciousness. If you believe
that the Spirit of God lives, then you love God in Jesus Christ; if you
believe that the Spirit is lifeless or indeterminate, you bear false witness
against your neighbor, who is not just the girl next door, but also the
Spirit who formed her flesh and inspired her heart. It is as if you killed
God, and if there were no god, then who would witness you?:

(John 5:31) If I bear witness of myself, my witness is not true. 2There is

another that beareth witness of me; and I know that the witness which he
witnesseth of me is true.

Another word for differentiation is duality and duality is key to

understanding sexual attraction which all intelligent beings experience
(and without which, consciousness would not occur at all). God not only
loves you, she likes you!

The Universe cannot be androgynous; nor can it be male. Nor can there
ever be a true time where both masculinity and femininity didn't co-exist.
The notion of a male deity leering over his newly-formed Adam is not
only repulsive, it is cosmologically impossible. Hence, if the male is first
iv
in creation, then the creator must necessarily have a female identity.
Otherwise, the Universe is all-male and women are its mere afterthought.
And if a male God makes a male human in the absence of any woman,
the Universe is homosexual and a homosexual universe cannot exist
because of the cosmic necessity of differentiation. Therefore is God a
woman -- and the Queen of them!

Womanhood is not an afterthought! Neither is femininity! God didn't

make you to stave Adam's loneliness -- on the contrary! God made Adam
first because she herself was lonely before the Universe realized that a
Spirit could not pleasure a man's body, whereby Shekhinah appeared
before him as Eve in the flesh! Men are the afterthought, having been
formed from mud and dust whereas women were formed in perfection
from the rib of a man! Men are the ones lacking the body part, not
women! and it is precisely this pathological 'rib-envy' that leads us back
to the woman's breasts every time! In essence, all men are women
lacking breasts who were formed to open the cosmic doorway,
wherefrom the female sex was able to enter into Creation:

(Song 8:8-10) We have a little sister, and she hath no breasts: what shall we do
for our sister in the day when she shall be spoken for? 9If she be a wall, we will
build upon her a palace of silver: and if she be a door, we will enclose her with
boards of cedar. 10I am a wall, and my breasts like towers: then was I in his
eyes as one that found favour.

The Blessed Virgin Mary is not an afterthought, she is Shekhinah, the

wife of Jehovah, Creatrix and Coredemptrix. When Adam lifted his
hands to God in the garden prior to the fall, he praised her as Shekhinah,
LORD and Mother of all living, in the Glory of God the Father:

(Gen 2:23) And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my
flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
v
‫ ו‬TRIPLE SYMMETRY
Why are southern ladies called belles?
Because they're shrill, lofty -- and some of them are cracked!

If symmetrical relationships are aesthetically appealing, and if an orb is

the most symmetrical object in the universe, then how is a woman's body
more beautiful than an orange or an egg? Because there are three
concepts which any being endowed with godly intellect must possess in
order to survive:

1. symmetry
2. duality
3. three-dimensionality

Because witness is essential to existence, the concept of symmetry must

continually pervade the conscious mind, not only as a sublime emblem of
eternality, but also it is intrinsic to the cognitive process to possess a
sense of self-awareness which (having been achieved through mutual
witness) necessitates the continual albeit innate conceptualization of
similitude. Any curved object (oranges and eggs included) subliminally
iterates this life-affirming thought by virtue of its very existence, which
is why curved objects are intrinsically (and not arbitrarily) beautiful!

However, the concept of similitude (embedded within the heart) must

also contain with it the subsequent awareness of differentiality, whereas
the perfect sphere in isolation becomes a dead symmetry, lacking an
alternative relationship from which its own omni-directional curvature
can be cognitively delineated. The great masterpieces of art all possess
elements of symmetry and duality; melody and counterpoint; intensity
and denouement, precisely because of this intellectual veritas. Therefore,
a curved object in space must require a secondary object to denote its
own symmetry and if that second object is perfectly omni-symmetrical
within itself, a perfect manifestation of diametric symmetry is realized:
the breasts of God.

Breasts not only give life, they are life in the flesh. Any sentient being
will either have them or desire them as surely as we live. They are
objects of love and life in the image of the Theotokos.
vi
Nevertheless, it takes more than breasts to facilitate consciousness in an
intelligent being. Because dominion is essential to existence, and because
space must have no more and no less than three dimensions,
consciousness must also possess an intrinsic conceptualization of
tripartite symmetry.

Primary Symmetry

Now that I've got your attention, let's continue with the symposium.

The image of Bettie Page typifies the divine concept of symmetry,

duality, and three-dimensionality, without which, consciousness would
not exist. Whereas a pair of breasts in isolation would fulfill the first two
requirements, the third is achieved only by a continuance of the same
dyadic symmetrical relationship accomplished in the upper body.

Secondary Symmetry
vii
I hope I'm not boring you, Bettie. However, this does bring us to the next
dimension of visual symmetry: The famed hour-glass figure (what
Jamaicans often refer to as a 'coke bottle'), is intrinsically beautiful due
to the visual similitude drawn between the breasts and the hips. Of
course, the smaller the waist (and the closer the ratio between the chest
and hips), the greater the exaggeration of this symmetrical relationship
will be. As for Bettie, she's 36-24-36½. But nobody's perfect!

Tertiary Symmetry

Now that we have achieved symmetry of breadth, and symmetry of

height, the only thing lack is symmetry of depth. The reason why Bettie's
dimpled ass is so gorgeous is because it complements the breasts,
providing a tertiary level of symmetry. As the breasts protrude outward
in front, the ass provides a counterbalance, completing the sense of
symmetry in all three spatial dimensions. There is nothing perverse about
admiring a woman's ass as long as it serves to remind us of the
overriding symmetrical relationships that emanate from her breasts.

Triple Symmetry is the only reason for all the sex admonitions in the Old
Testament. If you can find another object in the Universe with spherical
breasts, hips and an ass, you are free to f*ck it. But you won't because
there is no object in the Universe remotely resembling an adult female
woman, who is the image of God and the embodiment of grace.

When I converted to Christ in 2001, I didn't understand what sex was or

its purpose. I thought in my heart that God was male, and that the Holy
Spirit was male; so I thought it would be sacrilegious to touch a woman
because she was in the image of a male spirit and homosexuality was a
sin. But now I see, by the grace of the Blessed Virgin Mary, that the
viii
Creator of the Universe is a woman and that I can have a sexual
relationship with a woman sans any contradiction of having been joined
sexually to a male Holy Spirit. I believe that I am joined to her and
through her to all Christian women, my one true wife:

I'm very sorry that when I turned my life over to the Lord Jesus in January
1959, I threw out all my netstockings, bikinis - some from Frederick's of
Hollywood. I had designed some myself. I did think that God did disapprove of
things I had done as a model. But I don't think that so much now - I'm sorry I
threw them out.
(Bettie Page)

Black Apocalypse
Chapter 1

I was in the Spirit on the LORD's day when

A vision, terrible to behold unfolded:

The sky was blackened, the thunders uttered

Hyenas panting, gazelles vaulting as...
Monkeys screeching, Apes bleating
Beating their chests in the sun, screeching
Reaching for fruited gourds and hoards of
Beetles in hollowed-out trunks, creeping

"I am the bright and morning star!"

I fell to my knees, but he bid me "Please,
Do not worship me!" on a Kingston tarmac
But it may as well have been a temple at Karnak

Ra Akhenaten, Son of Tiye

Baptized in the river Nile
Rescued by the Blood of Isis
In the Sun, he sacrifices
Captive Israelites at Rameses

And as he spake, behold I saw

One as the Son of man, spittin'
Rhymin' and hittin' with the mike in his hand
Telling me things I couldn't yet understand -- damn!!
ix
"Come and see" he saith to me
"To a place where you and yours shall be
As the voice of a multitude raised from the sea
From the West African Coast to the shores of Tripoli
To the ghettos of Soweto to the streets of Halfway Tree
"From the Mighty Mississippi to the hills of Tennessee
As the streets of Port-au-prince shall cry 'There is none else but He!'
For the arms of Ethiopia shall be stretched out unto thee
And thy daughters and thy sons re-gathered for the Jubilee
Of the crystal living waters rushing on to Victory
As we all beat back the tears of joy to sing 'We've been set free!'"

To be continued...
___

U still there? You probably watch all the closing credits at the movies
too, don't you? And by the way, what the hell is a 'best boy grip'?

Anyway... I will be publishing Ganxta 2 on Dec. 21, 2012 in order to

capitalize on the Mayanic Mania surrounding that date -- not to mention
the fact that my music composition teacher once told me that I should
always try to give myself a deadline! And if there are any performers or
ensembles who would like to commission a work from me, my schedule's
about as wide open as...

A. Mick Jagger in a dentist chair

B. A VH1 Charm School class reunion
C. The U.S./Mexican border
D. Yada, yada, yada...