Final Reective Writing I started this class about the same time my rst child was born.

It was a special time for me (and continues to be). This class has made me think more deeply about raising my daughter. While she was pregnant, my wife and thought about what we had learned about the stages of pregnancy. We researched more information and even took a class. It was fun to think about our babys development in the womb and speculate about genetic traits. We were so focused on getting through the pregnancy, however, that neither of us thought much about post-birth development. The rst chapters of this class helped me to begin to think about what to look for in my daughters development and what to expect. It has made it even more exciting to see my daughter grow. I love reading and pondering social and psychological theories. This class provided me rich material. Although the text did not expressly note this, I found the contrast between the three major theorists interesting. Freud focused on the physical experience, Erikson on the emotional, and Piaget on the cognitive. This is evidence of the multidimensionality of development. None of these theories quite grasp the whole experience. Taken together, however, they can explain much. I personally identify most with Eriksons stages. Looking back on my life, I have gauged my growth and maturity by the way I felt. Certainly cognitive and physical factors were at play, with cognition often preceding emotional changes. But my behavior always followed these. Learning (cognition) was required, but the emotional change is what I considered growth. When I think of a healthy person, it is their emotional stability that is the determining factor. I believe Eriksons stages are not as tied to age as might be suggested. Outside of the rst stage, Trust vs. Mistrust, I have experienced each of these stages and feelings, often experiencing them at the same time. I have denitely gone through each of the negative sides of the stages: shame and doubt, guilt, inferiority, role confusion, isolation, stagnation, and despair. I could go on for pages about each of these. As an example, I will discuss Initiative vs. Guilt. While Erikson pins this at the ages of 3-6, I consciously experienced this through much of my life. While I dont blame my parents, they were fairly judgmental of others behavior. Through their comments about this or that, I learned that some things were acceptable and some were not. With a natural desire to receive my parents approval, I constantly worried whether the things I wanted, did, or thought were acceptable in their eyes. An example: when wedding invitations arrived in the mail, if the picture of the couple was anything other than a formal suit and tie and dress, they would make negative comments, including, I cant believe they did that, and, how embarrassing. I learned that only suit and tie pictures are acceptable. And the conundrum? I hate wearing suits and ties! I didnt like the traditional poses. Yet I internalized the limits and prohibitions of my parents, while still not giving up my preference for something different. It caused no small amount of consternation. I did feel guilty that my opinion was not theirs, and therefore was somehow wrong. As I

matured, I began to understand (not from my parents but from other sources and experiences) that it was ok to have different opinions than my parents. In frustration one day, when another wedding invitation arrived and my parents commenced their judgmental comments, I blew up, angrily spilling my emotions about their behavior. Their response was surprising and still frustrating. They assured me that if I wanted to do a non-traditional picture they would love it! But how was I supposed to know that? Fortunately, this conversation led to many others in which I was able to express my frustrations with my parents and they were able to show support. It made us closer. Taking this class has afrmed my desire to be patient with myself. By taking a look at the long-view - the lifespan - it has reminded me that I dont need to be or do everything right now. Certain endeavors can be pursued at different stages of life. I also have an idea of what to expect as I mature, particularly what kinds of emotions I may have, and therefore reducing the chance of getting thrown-off by these. Taking the long-view is also extremely helpful when life gets tough. Most reassuring to me, it has removed some of the fear of aging and death. Preparing for the emotions that may come, both for me and those around me, has become possible. Without taking this class I dont think I would be aware of those. Another signicant outcome of taking this class is the study of the experience of ones 20s. I was moved by the youtube video you posted of Meg Jay. She described some of my experience. I was so intrigued by it I purchased her book and am looking forward to reading it. I think it will be benecial in my eventual career, a counselor and therapist. I hope it will be helpful in understanding and being able to help those in their 20s navigate the experiences during that time of their life.