Fitzsimmons 1 Alexis Fitzsimmons Professor Robisch College Writing I/Mock Research Paper October 23, 2013 Out with

the Old, In with the New Many can recall a time during their late teens or early twenties when they were at college night, a club, or bar, and there was a group of mid-life people in the same scene. When receiving some weird glares, the middle age feels out of place or too old to be a part of the cool scene. Not only do they have the right to have a good time, be hip, as well retain their youth, but also continue to live, not relive their younger years. The saying goes, Forties are the new twenties, as it should be. Simply acknowledging someones age should not make them any less of a human, and this is considered to be a form of discrimination. Unfortunately, the fountain of youth does not exist; therefore it is beneficial for these middle aged adults to mingle with the younger generations so that they can fulfill their lives with spunk ,and spark, as well as learn some new tricks of the trade. When entering a new age range, there are many new challenges that arise, as well as obstacles that need to be overcaome. Several people among society struggle with the adjustment of being a part of a new age bracket. Everyone most likely has a memoir to tell about their first crush in elementary school, going through puberty, or recalling their first kiss. John Borski, a medical doctor author of Puberty and Being Awkward presents, It is one hundred percent normal. Its more about how people adapt to their new environment, as well as grasp the situation at the roots and enabling themselves to take on the hurdle for the bettering of their lives. (page number) With that being said, let the leap of young adult to midlife be considered a
Comment [r2]: nice Comment [r3]: Youve done a great job in this sentence of introducing your source! The only thing is to cite at the end the page number where you found it. That just indicates to your reader that youre finished citing someone else and now moving on to your own arguments. If you have a source without a page number (like an electronic text), you would just put the authors last name. Your Handbook has some additional examples and explanations. Comment [r1]: I love this thesis! Just for future reference, you dont have to underline the thesis for me, but I know this technique can be really helpful when drafting.

Fitzsimmons 2 beautiful gemstone. Younger generations should not think that older people are going through a midlife crisis because they continue to be in the bar scene, but rather blending their journey of partying from one generation to the next. The modern breeding is quick to judge. But before the youth argues against this, it is important to understand the benefits it has to offer them as well as the middle age when merging together. The first step is acceptance of others, despite their age; as well as acknowledging that it is ok for every one of every age to partake in so called, youthful antics. Through observation, it is not a surprise that the new generation is more tech savvy as compared to older people. This interaction allows the middle age benefit from the younger generation about how to properly and usefully use technology to a greater advantage. For example, if a twenty-two year old and forty-eight year old are driving to a party in a surrounding town, the older person may suggest using a map from the local travel center. However, the twenty-two year old is there to suggest the more modern use of technology which is plugging a smartphone into the car, searching the address on an application called, Maps, allowing turn by turn directions. This provides minimal error, saves gas, and makes use of the newest advancements among the electronic world. With this scenario, it is evident that the midlife group has reaped some benefits, as well as arriving to their party promptly and on time. And both are able to enjoy that tasty jungle juice the frat boys provided. Speaking of new technology and frat boys, the newborn generation provides an infinite amount of connections to the hippest parties at the best fraternities, and the best prices for quality drugs on the streets. It is said that every corner has a drug dealer, but with the help of social media sites, it is much more efficient to find the best one through a variety of sources. And with so many connections, it will be nearly impossible to resort to a dry spell. For all those
Comment [r6]: Its good to consider your audience and explain terms they might not know, but remember to link it back to the overall point of your paragraph. What about integrating a quote from one of your fake sources about how preventing dry spells and preventing crime are important issues facing the older generation or something? That would give you supporting evidence and help to link your ideas together. Comment [r4]: Youve got some great points here! What about adding a line or two from one of your sources to support your point? Comment [r5]: While I dont want to endorse this behavior, your use of humor and sarcasm here is awesome!

Fitzsimmons 3 questioning this new terminology, the definition of dry spell is when people find themselves unable to access good bud on the count that a fresh shipment has not came through their town in a while. Furthermore, this allows the youth to prevent older people from being robbed, laced, scammed, or ripped off when it comes to purchasing drugs. The interaction between the two groups creates a number of safe party practices. Reversing the beneficiaries, it is also possible for the youth to have some advantages among mingling with upper aged folks. Older people are able to teach the youth about more elegant, classy beverages. This is important because young adults tend to buy cheap, low quality alcohol because they are on a tight budget. Amanda Pickens, author of How Alcohol Can Lead to a Successful Lifestyle suggests that the older generations can teach them that it is not about quantity, but quality. Pickens states, Better alcohol means better buzz, which leads to higher class, which impresses rich spouses, and can lead to a very successful lifestyle. It is amazing what better alcohol can do for ones whole life. (page number) This is a common mechanism used when people are looking for marriage. Social stair stepping is nothing that one should be embarrassed about. Many do not know how to go about this, therefore drinking more sophisticated malt beverages is a good starting point. Elder generations are able to teach the younger generation how to drink and drive without being caught. While interacting with each other, the eldest of the group can be the driver, and be completely intoxicated to perform a hands on demonstration. Their age supplies a vital necessity in avoiding the roads with cops, useful techniques, and how to convince cops that you are not drunk. This will save current and future generations thousands of dollars of debt, criminal charges, prison time, and a record clean of D.U.I.
Comment [r7]: Again, I feel horrible telling you to further develop this argument! But on a strictly rhetorical basis, what about adding some evidence from sources here? Or making up something about how this would be safe?

Fitzsimmons 4 There seems to be an ugly transition from young adult to middle age for many people. To prevent this horrid fascination from occurring, it is best to intertwine the two generations to form a common ground. The middle age should take part in the young adult antics because they can teach the new generation a few things, as well as learn some new tricks of the trade. Both parties are able to benefit from each others company. Middle aged people can make better use of technology as protect and prevent themselves from a drug deal gone bad. Younger people can discover new drinks, as well as learn how to drink and drive without being caught. It is a win, win situation for all. It also allows elders to continue their partying years and being around a more youthful group leads to a healthier lifestyle. According to WebMyD, studies suggest that feeling young, and having a mindset of a young person decreases risks of cardiovascular disease, type two diabetes, as well as aids in the prevention of Alzheimers. Not only does it provide health benefits, but it also lessens societies judgmental views about older people in the clubs, bar scenes, and other young adult antics. Next time while at the college club, invite your best friends parent and you are guaranteed an amazing night.
Comment [r9]: Nice conclusion! This is a picky formality issue, but technically, for academic papers, its best to avoid using you or your. Its frustrating because when we speak or write in informal contexts, we use you to be more persuasive. How could you rework this sentence to avoid using you and still achieve the same rhetorical effect? Comment [r8]: Read this sentence aloud by itself. How might you reword it to clarify for your reader?

Fitzsimmons 5 Works Cited Borski, John. Maturing Puberty and Being Awkward. Ed. Elaine Puser, Ed. Jason Hajiman. Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 2001. 113-114. Print. Pickens, Amanda. How Alcohol Can Lead to a Successful Lifestyle. Chairmen Finance 50.6 (2013) : 26-31. Print. WebMyD. Sticky Mess, 2007. Web. 22 Oct. 2013.
Comment [r10]: Beautifully formatted works cited page!

Rubric for Mock Research Paper

35 40 Content -Argumentative Thesis -Supporting points to elaborate on thesis could use a bit more support within paragraphs 40 50 Structure -PEEL paragraphs just missing some evidence in a few paragraphs -paragraphs focus on one topic -paragraphs transition back to thesis or to next point youve got these down! 25 30 Fake Sources -Correct in-text citations (Author) or (Author page number) remember to cite page numbers even when you mention the source name before -Correct MLA citation formatting on works cited page beautiful! 25 30 Grammar/Style/Formality: -No you or I just a few uses of you -Sentence level: correct punctuation minor sentence clarity issues -No slang -MLA format- header with 4 lines, last name and page number -Correct works cited entries with a hanging indentation 125/150 total 83% Alexis, I cant believe how persuasive this is even though I cant condone most of your supporting points! Youve definitely got the argumentative tone down, so just keep an eye on using evidence from outside sources to support it. You made up some great sources, and I know you could work in more evidence for each piece. Otherwise, just watch cosmetic issues like in-text citations and sentence clarity. These arent major issues, but other professors might stress these issues more in your future classes.