Max's This I believe paper

by Max Harris

FILE

BE_YOURSELF..._SOMET IMES..PDF (55.52K)

T IME SUBMIT T ED

16-SEP-2014 04:39PM

WORD COUNT

408

SUBMISSION ID

453041239

CHARACT ER COUNT

1746

Max's This I believe paper

GRADEMARK REPORT
FINAL GRADE

GENERAL COMMENTS

/0

Instructor

PAGE 1

Comment 1
cool title!

Comment 2
T his is a bit clunky. Rework.

Pronoun
Prep.

T his pronoun may be incorrect.

You may be using the wrong preposition.

Comment 3
Use f irst person in this essay. Avoid "you" at all cost.

Pronoun

T his pronoun may be incorrect.

Comment 4
Don't tell me, show me by recalling your personal lif e experience. How did you gain this wisdom?
How do you know this to be true?

Sp.

T his word is misspelled. Use a dictionary or spellchecker when you proof read your work.

Comment 5
T his f eels of f topic. Bring it back to your original belief .

Missing ","

You may need to place a comma af ter this word.

RUBRIC: CCSS 9 TH-10 TH GRADE NARRATIVE

EXPOSIT ION (20%)

0 /5

0/5

T he text sets up a story by introducing the event/conf lict, characters and setting.
EXCEPTIONAL
(5)

T he text creatively engages the reader by setting out a well-developed conf lict,
situation, or observation. T he text establishes one or multiple points of view and
introduces a narrator and/or complex characters.

SKILLED
(4)

T he text engages and orients the reader by setting out a conf lict, situation, or
observation. It establishes one or multiple points of view and introduces a narrator
and/or well-developed characters.

PROFICIENT
(3)

T he text orients the reader by setting out a conf lict, situation, or observation. It
establishes one point of view and introduces a narrator and/or developed characters.

DEVELOPING
(2)

T he text provides a setting with a vague conf lict, situation, or observation with an
unclear point of view. It introduces a narrator and/or underdeveloped characters.

INADEQUATE
(1)

T he text provides a setting that is unclear with a vague conf lict, situation, or
observation. It has an unclear point of view and underdeveloped narrator and/or
characters.

DEVELOPMENT (20%)

0/5

T he story is developed using dialogue, pacing, description, ref lection and multiple plot lines.
EXCEPTIONAL
(5)

T he text demonstrates sophisticated narrative techniques, such as engaging

dialogue, artistic pacing, vivid description, complex ref lection, and multiple plot lines to
develop experiences, events, and/or characters.

SKILLED
(4)

T he text demonstrates deliberate use of narrative techniques, such as dialogue,

pacing, description, ref lection, and multiple plot lines to develop experiences, events,
and/or characters.

PROFICIENT
(3)

T he text uses narrative techniques, such as dialogue, description, ref lection, that
illustrate events and/or characters.

DEVELOPING
(2)

T he text uses some narrative techniques, such as dialogue or description that merely
retells events and/or experiences.

INADEQUATE
(1)

T he text lacks narrative techniques and merely retells events and/or experiences.

ORGANIZ AT ION (20%)

T he text f ollows a logical sequence of events.
EXCEPTIONAL
(5)

T he text creates a seamless progression of experiences or events using multiple

techniques--such as chronology, f lashback, f oreshadowing, suspense, etc.--to
sequence events so that they build on one another to create a coherent whole.

0/5

SKILLED
(4)

T he text creates a smooth progression of experiences or events using a variety of

techniques--such as chronology, f lashback, f oreshadowing, suspense, etc.--to
sequence events so that they build on one another to create a coherent whole.

PROFICIENT
(3)

T he text creates a logical progression of experiences or events using some

techniques--such as chronology, f lashback, f oreshadowing, suspense, etc.--to
sequence events so that they build on one another to create a coherent whole.

DEVELOPING
(2)

T he text creates a sequence or progression of experiences or events.

INADEQUATE
(1)

T he text lacks a sequence or progression of experiences or events or presents an

illogical sequence of events.

ST YLE (20%)

0/5

T he text uses sensory language and details to create a vivid picture of the events, setting, and characters.
EXCEPTIONAL
(5)

T he text uses eloquent words and phrases, showing details and rich sensory
language and mood to convey a realistic picture of the experiences, events, setting,
and/or characters.

SKILLED
(4)

T he text uses precise words and phrases, showing details and controlled sensory
language and mood to convey a realistic picture of the experiences, events, setting,
and/or characters.

PROFICIENT
(3)

T he text uses words and phrases, telling details and sensory language to convey a
vivid picture of the experiences, events, setting, and/or characters.

DEVELOPING
(2)

T he text uses words and phrases and telling details to convey experiences, events,
settings, and/or characters.

INADEQUATE
(1)

T he text merely tells about experiences, events, settings, and/or characters.

CONCLUSION (20%)

0/5

T he text provides a conclusion that f ollows f rom the course of the narrative. T he conclusion provides a
ref lection on or resolution of the events.
EXCEPTIONAL
(5)

T he text moves to a conclusion that artf ully f ollows f rom and thoughtf ully ref lects on
what is experienced, observed, or resolved over the course of the narrative.

SKILLED
(4)

T he text builds to a conclusion that logically f ollows f rom and ref lects on what is
experienced, observed, or resolved over the course of the narrative.

PROFICIENT
(3)

T he text provides a conclusion that f ollows f rom and ref lects on what is experienced,
observed, or resolved over the course of the narrative.

DEVELOPING
(2)

T he text provides a conclusion that f ollows f rom what is experienced, observed, or

resolved over the course of the narrative.

INADEQUATE

T he text may provide a conclusion to the events of the narrative.

(1)