1 HOPE STATEMENT

Kate Lyn Whitaker

Communications 122
April 3, 2015
MY HOPE STATEMENT

You are unique. Because you are unique, your opinion matters. You can overcome your
past and forgive yourself. It is okay to let your voice be heard. This is my hope statement to
the world. This is my story.
You are unique. When I was five years old, I moved to New Jersey. While I was there,
I observed that my friends had a different background. My next-door neighbor, Neal, was
Indian. I always thought his house smelled funny. Two of my friends down the street in the culde-sac were African-Americans. Their names, Jacques and Vicky, were interesting to me.
Each of those children had a story. I do not know all of the details, but what I observed
had a particularly large impact on me. For example, wasps, mice, flies, mosquitoes, and spiders
were always killed in my house. There was no question that bugs were pests; this was all I had
ever been taught. This all changed one day when I was at Neals house. I will never forget the
moment that Neals dad saw an ant crawling across his carpet. While my familys first instinct
was to take the first shoe we saw and beat the bug to death, Neals dad did something different.
I watched in awe as he forbade us from killing the ant. Instead, he took a piece of paper
and slid it beneath the crawling creature. He opened the back door and let the ant free outside. I
thought it was very odd at the time. Later, I would come to find it very interesting to me that this
family had such a different perspective and culture than mine did.
Jacques and Vicky had a very different impact on my life. It was an impact that I
recognized immediately. One day, word reached our house that their family had been suddenly
evicted. The home was now for sale. Our family went over to see the property, though I am not
really sure why.

2 HOPE STATEMENT

It is hard to describe what it is like for a six or seven year old LDS girl to observe
remnants of a life that is broken. As we walked through the house, it was suddenly clear why we
were never allowed to play at Jacques and Vickys house. Three images in particular still stand
out very clearly to me: the upstairs bedroom, an entryway, and the basement.
The upstairs bedroom was trashed. The dresser cabinets hung wide open with clothes
spilling onto the floor. The entryway on the main floor was filthy and there were cans of spilled
food everywhere; we even saw a dead mouse on the floor. The basement was the worst part.
Apparently, the family had kept their dog down there. There were piles of animal feces
throughout the basement and it smelled horrible.
Because you are unique, your opinion matters. I remember not really knowing what to
feel after seeing Jacques and Vickys house. It was hard for me to believe that kids my age had a
very different life than I did. Reflecting on what I have learned in class, I realize that every
individual has a distinct perspective and background. The Church understands this. (Members)
come from a variety of cultures, have diverse life experiences and espouse heterogeneous
opinions. (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, 2013) Because each person has had
different experiences, it is important for them to know that their opinion matters.
I, personally, have had very little experience with financial burdens, neglect, or abuse.
That is not to say that my family has never had problems; my personal difficulties have simply
been of a different nature. For this very reason, I believe that it is important for people to know
that their views have worth. Each person deserves a voice because they have unique feedback on
certain situations and issues that nobody else can offer.
Communication in politics, the workplace, the community, and in the home would be
very different if all people would let their voices be heard. Silence, at times, solves nothing.

3 HOPE STATEMENT

Perhaps there would be a better understanding of social issues, foreign policy could be more
effective, and arguments could be resolved with greater efficiency if people spoke out. Despite
the fact that their voices are needed, there are times when people are afraid to let themselves be
heard. For me, the fear I have experienced has always stemmed from two things. The first is
guilt and the second is fear of being wrong.
You can overcome your past and forgive yourself. My greatest talent theme is context.
This can be very beneficial when used in the right way. However, the tendency I have of looking
back on the past has affected me negatively as well. There was a very long period of time on my
mission when I felt guilty about my sins from the past. Even though I had already repented, I let
this guilt impede me from successfully sharing the gospel with others.
In the book Crucial Conversations, there is a chapter called Master My Stories. The
introduction to this section teaches how to take charge of your emotions. (Patterson, Grenny,
McMillan, & Switzler, 2012) In this chapter, it makes perfectly clear that nobody can make
another person feel a certain way. Taken a step further, it is also clear that situations cannot
make a person feel a certain way. One casts judgment on a situation before having an emotion
about it. Talking to my mission president about my guilt made this very clear to me.
I remember telling my mission president in an interview that I was having a very hard
time forgiving myself for what I had done. He explained to me that what had happened was in
the past; it was time to let go. I was no longer in the wrong because I had repented. He told me
that part of forgiving myself included sharing the gospel with others; part of forgiving myself
included letting my voice be heard.
I cannot fully explain what was learned by that experience; something clicked in my
brain that I had never grasped before. I discovered that I, myself, was holding me back. I had

4 HOPE STATEMENT

committed sin and repented. Yet, I was still judging myself for it and choosing to feel a certain
way about it. I was chaining myself down. There was no reason to hold on to that guilt
anymore. The Atonement suddenly took on a much different meaning for me. 2 Nephi 2:27
says, Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are
expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great
Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the
devil I chose to let go of my past and forgive myself.
It is okay to let your voice be heard. In the past, I have been notorious for my desire to
win arguments and debates about certain topics. I felt a compelling need to be right and to force
my opinion onto others. This was not an effective approach to communication. I learned very
little from my discussions and at times I avoided discussions altogether. The reason I avoided
discussions was because I was afraid about being wrong.
I have come to realize that it is okay to be wrong. Those who truly want to contribute to
a discussion and learn from it are willing to be wrong. Considering others opinions is a crucial
part of communication. The need to be right halts the learning process. Everyones voice needs
to be heard; there is not just one right answer. Knowing it is okay to be wrong and to speak up is
another crucial aspect of communication.
In conclusion, I am left to ponder about what I have learned this semester in the context
of my personal story. I think of an ant crawling across the carpet. I imagine the faces of Jacques
and Vicky. I remember the counsel of my mission president. I reflect on this communications
class. And my heart goes out to those who need this message: You are unique. Because you
are unique, your opinion matters. You can overcome your past and forgive yourself. It is okay to
let your voice be heard.

5 HOPE STATEMENT

Works Cited
Patterson, K., Grenny, J., McMillan, R., & Switzler, A. (2012). Crucial Conversations.
New York: McGraw-Hill.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. (2013, January 22). Mormonism in
the News: Getting it Right. Retrieved April 7, 2015, from
mormonnewsroom.org: http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/mormonismin-the-news--getting-it-right---january-22