Child-led Learning and Learning through Play

I am sometimes asked, what is child-led learning? And how did I incorporate this concept
into practical everyday reality? From 1983 to present, this is what Ive advocated and the
way I still mostly teach. In 1989 I self-published a simple teachers manual, So, You Want to
Teach Children, Hmm?, wherein I address questions on how to operate and manage an
Islamic preschool day care service or regular school classroom based on my earliest
teaching experiences. More than two decades later, I kept records of weekly observations
of a group of four three-year-olds whom I was asked to teach after I had considered myself
retired. My observations were included each week in newsletters I would send home to the
childrens parents. Those documented accounts of the childrens play activities and
interactions served as open windows for anyone of the parents to see their child engaged in
informal, but meaningful, active learning. In a short span of three months, the children had
learned everything their teacher wanted covered and more because they were given the
freedom of learning through play and investing in their own academic interestsand
doing so at their own individual paces.
My manual, So, You Want to Teach Children, Hmm?, is or will be posted (InshaAllah)
elsewhere in the KinderSchooling site. But here are a few of those email exchanges which I
am providing to mainly shed light on different ways I incorporated child-led learning and
learning through play with that particular young group. The names of the children have
been initialized in order to protect the innocent, i.e. the parents.
Class News / Email 1:
Class News - Letter "Hh"> Next week the children will be introduced to letter "Hh". On
Thursday, I plan to have a "Hat Party" and the children are invited to wear any kind of
hilarious, hero-theme, happy hat they want (hats could also be homemade, if they like).
And what's a party without food? Here's my wish list of foods to be served:
hero sandwiches (handmade by the children)
hors d'oeuvres (crackers topped with hummus, smoked herring salad, hard-boiled egg
salad)
halva (middle-eastern sweet)
herb tea sweetened with honey
honeydew melon

Moms, if you could help out in anyway, I'll appreciate it. Your feedback, comments, ideas,
and/or contributions for the children's hat party are welcomed. Please email me back by
Monday.
Class News / Email 2:
Sincere thanks to all of you moms for helping to make the children's "Hh/Hat" Party a
success! Their hats were truly wonderful, each and every one of them! Umm HN: Is it
possible for you to email me (and each of the mothers) copies of your pics from yesterday?
How We Made Hero Sandwiches for Our Hh Party according to KAL, as he explained the
process to his mother:
You need:
hero bread
"hero" cheese*
"hero" mayonnaise
"hero" turkey*
"hero" tomato*
(he left out, I guess what he would call, "hero" romaine lettuce)*
*All items were vegetarian and vegan foods purchased from Trader Joe's (including the
baguette "hero" bread).
Wonder Pets: As part of an impromptu "hero" theme for the letter "Hh" and as a means for
keeping the children quiet while I made salah this week, I played a Wonder Pets DVD for
the children to watch. Next week they will go back to the regular routine of listening to
Islamic stories and songs during nap/salah time. Now if only I could get that Wonder Pets
song out of my mind!
Class News / Email 3a:
Conversation of the week: Put talkative children together for snack and lunch and see what
comes out of the mouths of babes (and what I've had to deal with almost every day since
their Teacher left for her trip). Children will remain anonymous to protect the "funny"...
Exchanges are quoted verbatim:
Child: Sr. Kaamilah, your father and mother died?
Me: Don't you remember I told you all before that my father died?
Child: Your mother still alive?
Me: Yes, my mother's still alive--I told you that before.
Child: And your grandmother still alive?
Me: Um hmm. I told you before that only my mother's mother is still alive, not my dad's.
Dont you remember?

Child: Is she a zombie?

Parents, how well do you know what your child finds exciting, interesting, engaging, boring,
and just downright blah? To reinforce various learning concepts and indulge the students
in their individual interests, over the past few weeks I've been bringing in various items for
those purposes. Judging by the children's excitement or lack thereof, surprisingly here's
how this week's items rated on their interest scale of 1-10:
See-thru Alphabet Blocks
- Hands-on visual aids for teaching phonics. This clearly (for the second time) was a #1
winner for the week's best activity as far as HN was concerned. As for as the general
populace Rating: 8+
What Goes Together?
A hands-on teaching aid pairing miniature sized real-like objects. Rating: 9
Trouble
- The kids-friendly counting game (you know the game with the little popper in the center
and the colored pegs). How long can popping a popper hold the interest of 3-year olds?
Well not very long at all before they move on to something else. And having to wait their
turn to count and move pegs around the board took too long and required too much work.
Rating: 3
(It's like when I brought in the game Topple to demonstrate to them the concept of
balancing. Having to wait for three other young preschoolers decide where to place their
pieces to keep the platform from toppling over kind of killed the spirit of instant fun for
them. But at least Topple did get a rating of about a 4, I would say.
Tofrutti Vanilla Cuties Ice Cream Sandwiches
- Ice cream begins with this week's letter "Ii" so on Wednesday I told the children I was
going to bring in ice cream for them. NI wanted vanilla, SAR asked for strawberry, and both
KAL and HN remained quiet. The next day I gave them their "ice cream" treats and after
taking one or two bites of their sandwiches, HN made a "Yucky" face and SAR made a "What
the?" face and they both put their little cuties down. It's obvious these two food
connoisseurs know the difference between real ice cream and the fake kind made from cute
tofu. (Oh, my gosh! I had to do my best not to bust out laughing!) Rating: 5
"Miss Winsnow"
- A little "snow-person" I made out of cotton balls and coined after the words 'winter' and
'snow' for our winter theme and brought in particularly for NI. Cute, charming, but not
playable. Rating: 2+
Slam and Dunk's Big Game (read-a-loud story)
- (Hooked on Phonics); all the children love playing "Box-it Ball" (their version of
basketball) with the assorted empty food boxes I brought in, even putting their "game
faces" on before shooting, slam dunking, and alley ooping. I wish you Moms could see some

of those faces! (LOL) Anyhow I figured this Hooked on Phonics "b-ball" story would score
big and it did! Rating: 9+
The Race (read-a-loud story)
- (Hooked on Phonics); this story sort of, in a round-about way, ties into the children's
traffic safety lessons. The illustrations are whimsical and very appealing to young
preschoolers and a young-at-heart old teacher like me (I never tire from reading this
story). Like Slam and Dunk's Big Game, when read with excitement the action seems to
come alive and children always feel like they're part of the story. Another winner! Rating:
9+
No More TV, Sleepy Cat (read-a-loud story)
- (I'm Going To Read! Level 1 series); okay, when you read stories that young children can
definitely relate to and in addition, act out the parts as you're reading, then automatically it
becomes a GREAT story. The children laughed hard as I literally stood on the table while
reading this book and mimicking the little cat standing on his bed refusing to go to bed.
Cute illustrations, realistic plot, and plain funny. Rating: 9+
I Won't Go to Bed (read-a-loud story)
- (I'm Going To Read! Level 1 series); this storys about a little boy who doesn't want to go
to bed and stays up all night doing grown-up things to keep himself awake. Rating: 9
Junk or Treasure or Both, that is the question
- To reinforce the theme of winter, their Teacher included in her lesson plans a snowperson
project (no, not Ms. Winsnow). I presented a sample to the children which I used buttons
for the eyes. I told them they didn't have to use buttons and that they didn't even have to
put on eyes. NI was the only one who said she wanted buttons for her snowperson's eyes.
So I brought in my bag of assorted buttons and placed a heap of them on the table in front
of each child. Well who needs games and ice cream when you could have lots of buttons?!
Oh, you should have seen their little eyes widen with amazement. The chorus of 3 boys'
oohing and NI's synchronized ooo la la-ing made beautiful music. SAR said no, he didn't
want to trade any of his buttons when one of the other children asked him to. HN smiled
with glee as he ran his fingers through his pile over and over. And as for KAL, I was the
best teacher ever! (Yup, children are good at using flattery when they're really pleased
with you). All this for a little ole' bag of shiny, plastic, odd shape, colorful, discarded
buttons? Buttons, who knew?! Rating: 10+ (Ooo la la)
Artic Animals; and Insects videos
- Harun Yahya's video "Ice World" for letter "Ii" complete with polar bears, penguins,
whales, walruses, foxes, and Eskimos. Need I say more? Almost up there with last week's
Wonder Pets. Rating: 8+
- Mister Rogers Neighborhood type-paced educational and delightfully entertaining Insects
video aimed at the interest of 3-4 year olds. Live interaction between preschoolers and real
six-legged creatures that fly, crawl, and zip around here and there... Rating: 8+
Gloves

- The children have been learning how to put gloves on by themselves. However, the gloves
I have for them to practice with are slightly oversized for their little hands. (Parents, if it's
not too much, please give your child a pair of gloves (old or new--not mittens) that have a
good fit so they could continue their practice over the weekend.) The children pretty much
got the hang of it but practice makes perfect. I had them race to see who could correctly put
their gloves on the fastest. As far as I'm concerned they were all winners (after about what
seemed like 15 long minutes of me waiting as they were determined to complete their task
independently. And that was just one hand!). Rating: 8+
(Which reminds me of a natural cough medicine: Combine 1 cup Manuca honey (or any raw
honey) with a large onion cut into slices. Place in small saucepan and boil together on a
low-medium flame until the onions become soft. Makes an excellent natural cough syrup
and helps soothe sore throats. I usually add fresh lemon juice for the vitamin C benefits.
I've been using this recipe for years and it really does work when administered like regular
cough syrup. If you know of a natural, effective remedy or immune booster for children,
please feel free to share it.)
Response Message to Mother of NI / Email 3b:
By the way, you have to ask NI to show you the faces she says her dad makes! She, KAL, and
SAR compete to see who could make the funniest "Dad" face. It has almost become a daily
ritual! And I personally look forward to seeing these competitions every day.
NI: "My dad looks like this" (then she demonstrates a wacky face).
SAR: "So, my dad does this" (he then makes an equally hilarious face).
KAL: "And my dad do this..." (and he also puts on a ridiculously silly face).
And just think, I was initially concerned about NI being the only girl in class. Ha! Those boys
got nothing over her. They come with their boyish phrases, faces, exercises, and the likes,
but NI can hang with them every time. On the other hand, she comes in with one simple
phrase, "Ooo la la," and stops those boys dead in their tracks. She boldly picks crayons
pink and purpleand without a moment's hesitation could follow those colors up with
their favorite boys color, black. Yes, that's princess NI for you. (But their Teacher and I
really do need to find more teaching materials or something that cater a little more to girls
other than Ms. Winsnow!!! (Lol)
As a final thought regarding children: The joys of living life to its fullest never end with
themthat is, until they grow up and forget what it's like to be a child. I personally believe
that keeping company with young children helps me to stay young in heart, mind, and spirit
and enables me to truly understand and appreciate why the Prophet Muhammad (SAWS)
loved and interacted with them so much. They're too cute, real, and innocent not to.
Class News / Email 4a:

Best Statement of the Day: You want what?!: Yeah, for this statement and after last week's
little episode, I think even you moms will agree with that subtitle. And let me just say, SAR
was absent today--so see if you could figure out who said this:
Little cute person: Tchr. Kaamilah, I want ice cream. (Straight- facesimpleshortmatterof-fact... and to the point.)
Me: Whoyou?!!! What do you mean you want ice cream? You didn't even eat your ice
cream from Thursday. I had to throw it away!
But with all things considered, technically and in all honesty, this cute person's want was
legit. So I'll be off to the supermarket again to get ice cream before next Monday, and this
time it'll be the real stuff. I sure hope this child likes strawberry Haagen Daaz-- if not, it'll be
more for me... and KAL... and SAR... and perhaps NI (she already indicated last week that
she likes vanilla). Have you figured out who it is yet? And I notice this little person is
becoming quite a demanding one too.
Junk or Treasure, or Both: In short, already the button faze has fizzled and gone kaput! See,
I knew with class closed for Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays I would lose a good thing
going with these little three year olds!
Todays Interests and Ratings: I've been working with children for many years, and being a
mother and grandmother myself, I sort of anticipated the whole button thing not lasting
long. So I now had the choice to either let it die out and just be done with the whole thing or
beg my husband to drive me on the non-Muslims last weekend of X-mas holiday shopping
so I could come in today with some bargain replacements (in case the buttons craze went
completely dead). Im like a wet noodle when it comes to children, so I begged.
Heres what I got, heres how they rated, and guess whos NOT doing this again?! (Ummm, I
mean after I get that ice cream, and not again this month, and just when exactly is their
Teacher coming back? and) Yes, the children know they got me whipped (I've seen signs
of this weeks ago).
Alphabet Foam Mat-Block Letters
textured and just the right something for a little added variety. HN (the class alphabet
connoisseur) gave a shot at these foams but after a while even he ignored themand then
had the nerve to tell me to pick them up and put them away by myselfafter requesting his
favorite see-thru letter blocks. I guess that was my punishment for being dumb (pardon my
expression) to buy foam letters in the first place. Yes, this was another poor choice, but I
got a plan up my sleeve (dont tell the children): Im going to call the foam letters my Chicka
Chicka Boom Boom letters! They love the Chicka Chicka Boom Boom storybook and DVD so
I think my little plan will work. I know what you moms are thinking and nooo, I havent
forgotten about the Tofruitti Cuties incident, but come on, is HN a connoisseur of whats
right for three-year-olds, too?! (Judging by HN): Rating: 1+
Lost and Found DVD

 I figured since it was an unofficial school day, Id treat the children to a very short
childrens film about a little boy who befriends a lost lonely penguin. CGI animation,
realistic coloring and texturing, wonderful and endearing story, definitely rated high with
every child who was present today--and I mean every child. Inshallaah, when class is back
to its regular schedule I will loan this out for 1 day to parents who will take responsibility
for its care and return. Rating: 9+
Potato Heads (as in Mr. and Ms., that is)
Im afraid Im going out on the limb by saying this was a hit because by next Monday, itll
probably be another frizzled button scenario. But for now it was a hit, a hit, a hit!!! I bought
5 sets of potato headseach with completely different ensemblesand mixed everything
together into one single container. Kept the pictured boxes at home and invited the
children to use their own imaginations to create who/whatever they wanted. The sets
consisted of a moustache pirate, a princess, a rock star, a mermaid, aa fix-it man, and a nice
blend of all kinds of accessories. While I assisted HN with inserting accessories into his
potato head, KAL and NI did their own dressing up and accessorizing. NIs potato was all
dolled up with red lipstick lips, earrings, rings, bracelets, pocketbook, and fancy shoes. By
the looks of KALs person, maybe I should have been helping him too, because somehow he
managed to put his person together with an appendage growing from its back (never mind
the whole concept of arms and feet extending directly straight from the head anyway, but
from its back?! (Hmm, come to think of it, doesn't Mr/Mrs Potato Heads remind you of 3- to
5-year-oldss drawings?). But when KAL and NI finished, thats when the real fun began (at
least for me). You should have heard the pretend conversations that went on between
those two potatoes! Wheres my tape recorder when I need it?! KAL had a deep rough bass
in his voice to sound all man-ish'; and did you know NI could speak even higher and
squeakier than her regular voice? I didnt think she could, but she actually can. Like a
broken record playing over and over, this is all I heard:
Mr. Potato Head: Honey, I going to work.
[Now when you visualize this make sure to do the voice part like I described or else it wont
have that same effect. And it wasnt that KAL was talking to NIs potato head per se, he was
just talking. I guess it was just his idea of what a real man might probably sound like and
say in general, if a potato head woman was around.]
Ms. Potato Head: I have to go shopping.
[Now dont forget when you imagine NIs voice, you have to go to a very high pitch and then
top it off with your best Minnie Mouse imitation. Then youll have an idea of how women's
voices are perceived to a 3-year-old when shes pretending to be a Mrs. Potato Head going
shopping.]
Well, these manipulatives kept those two actively engaged and chatting away. And gosh, I
dont know how many times that potato couple changed their clothes! But, I guess thats
what all that working and shopping were about!
Rating: 10+

Play-Dough Factory
for enhancing the childrens play-dough experiences and to go along with the other playdough accessories the class already has. This factory comes equipped with two slide pieces
that have different cut-out shapes to use when pressing/squeezing the play-dough through
the factory. Cleaning the factory after each childs turn using it wasnt appealing to the
children or me. Leftover play-dough stuck in the factory and got blended in with other
colors. The children absolutely didn't like that factor. They wanted their colors as is and not
changed in any way. So they ended out playing more with the slides than the factory. Waste
of money; and unfortunately, I cant chicka chicka boom boom that factory into anything!
Maybe when SAR returns he'll find some redeeming quality or else, it's just going to sit
unused. Factory Rating: 1; and Slides Rating: 9+
One Mothers Response / Email 4b:
I really really REALLY wish there was an audio and video feed from the classroom!! I would
be laughing all day. Oh but then I wouldn't be able to go shopping! Lol
Class News / Email 5a:
One Potato, Two Potato, Three Potato, Four...:
Do you remember Mr. & Ms Potato Heads that I told you about over the winter break? Well,
they're baaaack. Yesterday they came for a visit and I kid you not, this was the new
dialogue that was repeated over and over as KAL and NI fell into character (voices
included):
Mr. Potato Head: Honey, I going to work now.
Mrs. Potato Head: I'm getting dress.
(About 5 mins. passes)
Mr. Potato Head: Honey, I going to work now.
Mrs. Potato Head: I'm getting dress.
(More time passes):
Mr. Potato Head: Honey, I going to work now.
Ms. Potato Head: I'm getting dress.
(More time goes by and the same phrases are pretty much repeated as the potatoes are
moved around potato town. Until eventually...):
Mr. Potato Head (sounding exasperated): Oh, I'm tired. I going to bed now, honey.

Ms. Potato Head: I'm still getting dress.

(Uh, Umm NI: could you please talk to your daughter? She's not making us women look
good here! I mean, gosh, how many times or long does it take her to get dressed?! (LOL))
Elsewhere in potato land, a new character showed up. The mastermind who created this
potato (SAR) worked like a mad scientist in his laboratory totally engrossed with making
his potato look as Frankensteinish as he could. Really, he had that mad scientist laugh
thingy going on and the only thing missing was the hunchback side-kick, Egor. And if his
potato thought having an arm sticking out the top of his head along with four arms
protruding out the sides of the rest of his body was the way to impress someone, he was
right! As it so happened, Mr. Potato Head asked in his familiar rough manly voice, "You
want to go to work with me?" And off they went.
Now, the other dude in this town of four seemed to think that extra ears stuck any and
everywhere in his potato head was good enough simply because they were available. This
potato guy was propped onto a mermaid base, had two sets of teeth, and the panel missing
from his back intentionally. When I asked HN why doesn't he want to give his potato head
eyes, he just smiled and said he didn't want to. Yet, he got frustrated after he kept trying to
sit a pair of glasses over one of the ears!
I don't know which potato was creepier looking, HN's or Frankenst... I mean SAR's. Yes, talk
about imagination gone wild. But now with all those arms and ears on these two tatas,
picture the one arm Mr. Potato Head and the no ears Mrs. Potato Head that day!
And wait! Do 3-year-olds know what the word loyalty mean? Because if you don't play their
game of "It's-All-about-Me" then you're going to be the odd man out and dropped like a hot
potato! So recently there's been this whole issue going on between NI and her "new found"
friend KAL, who doesn't mind using the word "honey" and indulging her in girl-time play.
Could you believe today KAL actually shooed SAR away (his best friend, main man, #1
honcho) and told him to "go over there with Sr. Kaamilah and HN." And NI didn't even say a
word in SAR's (her fatal attraction best friend, main man, #1 honcho) defense. Oh, the way
these children handle their affairssigh.
But outside of those particular play times, life in class for these four went as normal: KAL
and SAR... NI and SAR... SAR and KAL and NI... HN with everybody (sometimes)... HN and Sr.
Kaamilah (mostly all the time)...
Response from Umm HN / Email 5b:
HN has a new nickname for you - Teacher Karamela (Caramel in Arabic). I hear him saying
it over and over when he is playing in his room, but once I enter he stops!

Also, yesterday I found a pencil in his book bag. Is it one of the children's or was it for him?
He wouldn't tell me the circumstances surrounding how it got into his bag... I guess that is
just another school secret (haha) but I wanted to make sure with you it doesn't have
another owner.
Response Message to Umm HN (in part) / Email 5c:
HN is too funny!
Regarding the pencil: Each Thursday the children count their stars and tokens which they
earn during the week for good behavior, following directions, acts of kindness toward one
another, and following rules without reminders (like pushing in their chairs, using good
manners, etc.). Anyhow, HN had the most stars and tokens this week, so he got to go into
the "treasure box" and pull out whatever he grabbed with his eyes closed. It was his first
time and even though I kept suggesting for him to move his hand around to feel what's in
the box, he wouldn't. He put his hand in and whip whop it came out holding that pencil. J
Also, I want to let you know that I have given HN his own job as my Alphabet Letter Helper.
I'm not sure who appointed him this position (whether he did or I), but nonetheless it's his.
What happened is, yesterday I called the children one by one to practice writing their
letters on the board. I generally use magnetic letters which I pull from a bag and then
display on a cookie baking sheet as a model. HN was sitting right next to me as usual (by his
own volition instead of going to play with the other children waiting their turn). Somehow
he managed to start pulling out the letters and taking over as teacher and "literally
ordering" whoever's turn it was to write the letters he put on the baking panwhich of
course, for every child the first letter was 'V,' always followed by S, C, M, G, H, E, O, and F
(although not always in the same order). And he would get upset with me if I told him to
let me do it because I know which letters I want each child to practice writing. Well that
whole scenario ended up with HN (as usual) getting his way with me. Those poor children...
I tell you we know who the real boss is! So now I call him my Alphabet Letter Helper, since I
have no other choice in the matter. LOL
Oh, I'm so glad their Teacher is back, as her presence will help put balance between
HN and me again--apparently (and I will admit), I'm too weak to do it myself. (LOL)
Response from Umm HN / Email 5d:
After reading your hilarious email I tried to get out of him any information I could about his
role as Alphabet Letter Helper and of course I failed, but, alhamdulillaah, he did make it
very clear to me that YOU are the teacher, not him. Lol. Let's see if he remembers that next
time.

Thank you for clarifying how the pencil got into his bag. Never thought I'd see the day he'd
be rewarded for good behavior/manners but it's cute that his excitement got the best of
him :)
I really enjoyed your presentation on play-based learning. As I consider what to do with HN
next year, if you have any recommendations or other materials I may benefit from, please
do share, I would love to have them. I value all the experience and expertise you've
gathered over the years and I hope you do not mind if I bug you for advice from time to
time :)
Response Message to Umm HN / Email 5e:
You probably couldn't get any information because he "probably" doesn't see anything
wrong with the picture (LOL). For him, it was life in class as usual: What HN wants, HN
gets. LOL
And don't ever underestimate his inclinations to be good. HN is definitely highmaintenance at times, but he still has the same potential and intentions as other children to
behave and do well socially, and I recognize that. Also, I want you to keep in mind that I'm
not into giving out stars and tokens to a child if he or she hasn't earned them.
The thing of it is, Umm HN, and the bottom line for me is this: For any teacher, it's
important to know the children whom you'll be responsible for in terms of their overall
social, emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual development and well-being. Each child is
a unique human being and it doesn't benefit a child to have a teacher who walks into a class
thinking they could treat children all the same or that all children are going to behave and
learn in the same manner. If a teacher does, then to me, that person has failed as a teacher.
When a teacher follows what I call that sort of "cookie cutter" mentality then what will
happen is that he or she will impede the natural development and growth of some children
and/or frustrate the natural development and growth of others without even realizing it,
and although the signs of damage being done are clearly evident, they go ignored. l don't
buy into that way of thinking and that's why I had to retire from teaching, because most
schools promote and enforce that way of teaching as an integral part of their overall
academic curriculum.
We all only live once and we only have one life to live. So I believe in letting children
(especially very young children) enjoy their childhood the way Allaah (SWT) intended it to
be and if Allaah (SWT) "loans" them to me as a trust and for safekeeping then I know it's
best to serve them only as a "facilitator" and simply follow their lead as they guide me into
their unique world of dynamics (and sometimes complexities) that exist within their being
themselves. For, in doing so, I allow myself to really see what and when they want to (or
need to) learn or not learn at any given moment. That's what childhood memories should
be made of... good, wholesome, and happy experiences.

In the world of two- and three-year-olds it's all about a "me, myself, and I" and "mine, mine,
mine" and "the world revolves around me" mentality. This is a natural stage and process in
human development. These little people will have to go through the rest of their lives
having to live up to everyone else's expectations. So, I support and advocate letting them
first learn about Allaah (SWT) and life through the natural gifts He (SWT) gives them
(whatever those gifts might be)--as that's their foundation and the start of knowing
themselves. In that aspect I see them: Building character, naturally... Learning, naturally...
Being who they are, naturally... Playing, naturally... Exploring nature, naturally... Showing
curiosity, naturally... Developing empathy, naturally... And for me as a facilitator: Guiding
them through the process and not breaking their spirit, period.
I haven't found any Muslim school that operates along these ideals, but if I had the money I
would run a facility for young children similar to the set up at the Long Island Children's
Museum. Everything will be hands-on and learning through play.
And Umm HN, I'm serious, this little relationship between HN and me is going to have end.
I'm really getting tired of being bossed around and I don't care if he does flash those smiles
of his. Do you know I walked in the rain today after class to go get those cookies that he's
mentioned (with a smile) three times already since Thursday. Hmmph! tomorrow,
InshaAllaah, you wait and see, I'm putting my foot down! I'll show him I'm not to be bossed
around!
(Boy, I sure hope he doesn't want milk to go with these cookies. (LOL))
Response Message from Umm HN / Email 5f:
Honestly sister Kamilah, the words in your email should be distributed as an article of
advice to all parents! They contain much wisdom and are powerful words of admonition.
Childhood is a stage Allaah decreed for kids for a reason, and we often try to rush and fail in
doing right by our children during it because we are too worried about all the, as you said,
expectations and responsibilities waiting for them when they are no longer children. The
way free play is being devalued and reduced in schools to make room for more academics
is a worrying trajectory. SubhanAllaah just last week I read about a school in New Zealand
that was able to significantly reduce bullying and vandalism in the school yard by getting
rid of the rules they had during recess and letting the kids play as they desired - climbing
things, getting dirty, and giving them the freedom to take risks in their play. The kids
busied themselves, formed new bonds with each other, and felt an internal satisfaction that
no longer made bad behavior towards others desirable.
Class News / Email 6a:
After having the privilege of spending the past three months filling in for the Teacher, I
designed a personal poster inspired by your children and based on my adherence to the
teaching principle of following a child's lead. I gift this poster to you so that perhaps, Allaah
(SWT) will bless your heart and let it see what I do.

RIDING ON THE WINGS OF CHILDREN: Children are like butterfliestrue symbols of

freedom, happiness and beautyfluttering by without a care in the world, just riding on

the wind. Bright, colorful, and unique in character, their essence rivals exquisite flowers

beautifying their surroundings. They float with ease from day to day enjoying life's
sweet nectar-- all the while exploring, discovering, and creating new life in a world
within and outside of their selves. They take just what they need and then they move
on. They are natural travelers in heart, mind, and spirit searching for the good things,
important things to take on a life-long journey of living, loving, and learning.

By the

grace of Allaah (SWT) when you're keen to appreciating the natural world of children

you'll see "butterflies" fluttering by you all the time. Then which of the favors of your
Lord will you deny?

~Kaamilah S.
Message from another Long-time Sister-Friend and School Director / Email 6b:
By the good GRACE of Allah, Subhanahu wa ta'ala, I am blessed once again to be in your
company, alhamdulelah, ya rabbil alameen. It is a great, great pleasure and honour to see
this very beautiful poster that you've designed with so much love and attention. I am not
surprised by this work that captured your love for children and their nature as designed by
Allah, Azza wa Jal. I can see your emphasis on the value of simple pleasures. For me, this
poster communicates inspirational, life-affirming messages about children that you've
taught me since the moment you walked into my life. It is easy for me to understand how
your spirituality, deep love for Allah and appreciation for children continue to bring you
out from retirement. The message contains a larger moral dimension. If your goal was to
touch people, to bring peace and joy into dead lives, then you have succeeded!
May Allah, Al-Wadud, continue to love you. Be blessed!
With all of my love, affection and respect.
Was salaamu 'alaikum wa rahmatulaahi wa barakaathu Umm Kaamilah.
Message to Umm HN / Email 7a:
Missed everyone yesterday... I have something for HN again that I'm sure he will like. :D
(And if he doesn't then I have something else in my goodie-bag as backup. And if that
doesn't work I have yet another backup from my bag of treats. And, as in any case of
emergency or call for damage control, I'm prepared to introduce even a fourth activity
that's sure to be a hit, a hit, a homerun!!! And after all that (right now my head is drooped

down on my chest), if push comes to shove, I just may have to cancel his class sessions until
the teacher comes back from her second out of town trip, LOL. ... But since I am talking
about probably the WORLD'S connoisseur of alphabet letters, when you come to pick him
up this afternoon and don't see me smiling, you'll know why. And if I am smiling, then
maybe I'll market myself as the all-time connoisseur of the WORLD'S connoisseur of
alphabet letters!
Hey, HN and I can go into a partnership, 50-50. Wait a minute, knowing HN, knowing
myself, and knowing our relationship I'll just end up being "bossed" into a role as side-kick,
100-0. Okay, that little plan has just left the building. Sigh, the saga continues...
Hope to see everyone later (you, NI, B, and now I'm afraid to include HN (maybe today I
should stay home. Do you see the emotional changes this boy of yours takes me through,
and I'm not even his parent!)) And of course, bring my PPB (potential business partner),
HN! I could never leave him out.
It would be nice if you and your husband could start looking for a par excellent
business lawyer, someone who will know how to draw up a contract protecting my
interests (and I'm not talking about riba here) and is not weakened by cute kiddie smiles. If
I wait too long for this once in a lifetime deal, I might be way too old to do anything (as if
I'm not way too old now).
Response Message from Umm HN / Email 7b:
I can't tell you how happy I was to see your name in my inbox this morning! Also, I highly
DISCOURAGE you from entering into a partnership of any kind with one HN... he has more
tricks up his sleeve than you think you can imagine not least of which is telling me that it
is Allah who wants me to do the tasks I ask him to do. lol. He is too much.
Response Message to Umm HN / Email 7c:
Yes, HN is too much. And he's not cooperating in helping me figure him out. This is such a
one-sided and unfair relationship. LOL
So my only recourse to redeem my sense of dignity is to turn elsewhere. Which leads me to
your other cute childI notice that one likes Arabic letters. So tell B. that I've got a surprise
I'm sure he'll... LOL
(You see, you'd think I would stop while I am ahead, right? Especially after B. exposed his
little slick trick of the hands which I call the "Innocent Quick Flick of the Hand Three-Count
Cookie Swipe Move". Yeah, he may not know how to count but he sure knows what "I want
3 cookies" looks like and how to get them while you're looking him dead in the face. But,

nope, I haven't learned my lesson yet. For some reason I keep thinking I could beat children
at their own game no matter how many times they keep proving me wrong.)
But anyhow, I'm through with Mr. Cranky (later for the Pants part) and I'm not spending
another sleepless night, so anxious to wake up the next morning to present my little handmade or store-bought activities. Who cares if he just wants to keep playing with those
magnetic letters sticking them on an old baking sheet? I've been pushed too far and the "fat
lady" has left the building (which brings up a whole other complex those children have
given me, another courtesy of KAL).
Yup, I'm shifting gears and my new focus is B. (although, besides the fact that he might try
his quick hand moves when I'm eating my crackers, I see early tendencies of assertiveness
in him too. But that's okay because he hasn't yet learned how to manipulate me into falling
(a gullible) victim to his cute kiddie smile--yet. So I have to move fast on taking advantage
of this time.) Tomorrow the class will be reviewing letter 'khaa', so ask B. for me if he
wants to sit in.
Oh, before I forget: I was told (strongly requested) by a certain someone to bring in the
Lost and Found video again. And of course, whatever someone wants he expects to get it.
Help me! (I deliberately reduced the point-size to emphasize my weakness as I cry my
plea.) Lol.
(Feb 20, 2014 Lifes Little Lessons): Bismillaahir Rahmaanir Raheem
As Salaamu Alaikum, Moms:
Class News / Email 8:
I must first share a life principle that I've been following to the utmost for years, which is
"Let every experience be a lesson for you." Well, this morning unveiled the lesson in the
following incident that occurred weeks ago involving the children.
Do you remember I told you in one of the old class news emails that I read a story to the
children titled "The Race" which they really, really enjoyed and it got rated a 10? For some
reason (I don't know why) I never told you a funny thing that occurred when I did a postassessment of the children's understanding of what happens in the story. Before beginning
the story I showed the cover of the book to the children and asked them which car did they
think was going to win the car race. Each child picked a different color-style car out of the
four characterized in the story. SAR was the only one who picked the car that ended out the
winner. Afterwards, the children asked me to read the story again, which I did. And before
doing so I asked them, "Which car are you going to pick this time?" And again, each child
stuck with the very same car they had picked before. Okay, so right there, I think you could
already see where I'm going with this. I was like, uh, okaay... (Lol) But I didn't say anything
and not to disappoint them, I reread the story not changing an iota of the ending. Again,
SAR was the only one who pumped his little fist in victory excitedly shouting, "See, I knew
my car was going to win!" (Okay, and SAR, do you really think that orange rocket car keeps
winning because you picked it?) Meanwhile, the other children were sadly disappointed

that their cars didn't win, but I was wise enough to hurry and put the book away in case
they were planning to ask me to read it again in hopes that by the third reading one of their
cars would win.
In all my years of mothering and teaching it never dawned on me that children don't always
fully understand how stories work until then. And that was my lesson to be learned.
Message to Umm HN: Email 8:
(Sorry I was too tired to email you yesterday after I got home. But I'm going to try to keep
this short and to the point with no humorous laugh track added.)
Okay, I think I figured it out. Here are some highlights of yesterday's careful observations. I
was told... discovered...reassured the following:
1. An hour after we got into the day, with a cranky attitude, HN said, I want Sr. S. to come
back, and you stay home in your pajamas and don't come back anymore. When I asked why
he didn't want me to come back, he started smiling then began laughing.
2. He's very territorial and to no surprise, I'm his territory.
3. SAR (not KAL, not NI, not S.) is the one he must keep from infringing upon his territory
(his verbal lashing out and kicks at SAR let me know SAR was his main threat).
4. He actually does like the alphabet activities, but he doesn't like when I use them with the
other children (he told me himself that he wants only he and I to work with the letters, not
SAR, and then he added later, not KAL (the only ones also present from the group
yesterday).
5. HN's developing more interest in writing letters. He took turns with the other boys as
they practiced writing the following letters on the chalkboard while he practically directed
everything. He did a fantastic job writing letters: I, T, W (which was supposed to be letter M
but he demanded I turn the it upside down to make it a W), H, A, and L. I deliberately
saved letter V for last as an incentive for keeping him writing and it worked especially after
he kept demanding, "Now let's do letter V!" And I have to say like with the other letters, he
made a beautiful 3-year-old rendition of the letter V!
6. He still refuses to make his owl for letter O.
7. I had to read Chicka Chicka Boom Boom sitting on the couch with HN sitting on my lap as
his idea of preventing SAR from getting too close to me. So that reading session ended up
with HN on my lap, SAR hanging off the side of whatever part of that thigh he could claim of
me with his arms wrapped around my neck to keep himself holding on, and KAL's arms
wrapped around my neck from the other side simply because SAR had his arms around me.
In the meantime my head was being pushed into HN's back from SAR's and KAL's "hugging"

while HN was adamantly pushing backwards with no clue as to what's going on behind
him. And now picture my arms stretched out with the book in my hands in front of HN as
I'm trying to make every attempt to see it.
8. HN whined "Noo, don't read it! I want to." So we all sat "hugged/huddled" together as HN
improvised the words to Chicka Chicka Boom Boom, page by page. But before delving into
his reading we had to sit and listen as he told us what each letter of the alphabet is for: "A is
for apple...," going by the alphabet picture cards displayed on the classroom walls. Finally
he got into reading the story and if you're at all familiar with Chicka Chicka Boom Boom
then you know it goes nothing like this: "A told B and B told C and C told D and D told E and
E told F and F told G and G told H and H told I and I told J and J told K and K told L and L told
M and M told N and N told O and O told P and P told Q [by now I thought he would tire
himself out, but he went on with his rendering:] and Q told R and R told S and S told T and T
told U and U told V and V told W and W told X and X told Y and Y told Z." That was the end
of HN's version and he closed the book and said to me, "Now let's go play with the playdough." After I exercised my neck a bit, "we" went to play with play-dough: SAR and KAL at
the children's table and with HN and me at "our" teacher's table.
9. By the end of the day, HN was all smiles again.
P.S. ~ Oh that was so difficult to write without adding my little insightful comments.
Message from a Dear Sister-Friend, Preschool Teacher / Email 9a:
Insha'Allah this message will find you in the best state of Iman and health....
Alhamdulillah I am happy to hear from you that you enjoyed the lectures.
I was thinking the other day about the teaching methodology of letting the children lead in
their learning process and was wondering if you would be able to help me with something.
It would be nice to explain that methodology to parents by connecting it to some Islamic
principle (eg. the Quran, Sunnah, or Islamic scholars). How would you connect that
methodology to an Islamic principle?
Also, curiously, I was thinking where does that teaching philosophy come from?
I know of some people who may prefer a different philosophy (of them my son-in-law). A
philosophy of teaching children first of all authority--you have to listen to authority. The
Islamic basis of which as he (and others) says that the whole religion is based on authority-you have to listen to Allah, His messenger, the scholars, your parents, your teachers, and
elders. According to him, that's what the traditional scholars teach. *At least with those he
studied with*
So, for example, if it is prayer time, you have to pray. So, that just because you don't feel like
praying, it does not stop you from praying because you know you are a slave and servant

first. (Of course we're not talking about forcefully teaching children authority so that they
end up hating it. Rather, there are a number of ways to teach authority eg. through love and
teaching them to do the right thing, etc.)
I know there are different methods and perspectives with teaching, and so I wanted to
understand the different perspectives.
Jazakumullahu Khairan for your help in this. Insha'Allah, with your help, I will pray
Istikhara and see what is best for the children and parents.
Wassalam
Response Message to a Dear Sister-Friend, Preschool Teacher / Email 9b:
Bismillaahir Rahmaanir Raheem
As Salaamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakatahu,
My dearest Sr.
I pray you are also well in the confines of strong imaan and health. Ameen
I truly appreciate your email and hope my response will suffice as a comprehensive answer
and give you clearer understanding of exactly what I mean by child-led learning.
Let me first say that one thing you and/or your son-in-law have to understand is that I
don't think anyone in their right mind would advocate that a child be given absolute
complete say so in what he or she is expected to learn, as that would be absurd and unIslamic in every form or fashion (whether that learning takes place at home or at school)
and to do so would, undoubtedly, undermine the whole Qu'aanic injunction of hearing and
obeying. From an Islamic perspective, what I mean by child-led learning simply is that
within their realm of learning children 1) be allowed freedom to engage in activities that
they are interested in and not only the ones that are picked by adultsas long as the
activities do not compromise their faith and worship of Allaah (SWT) or their sense of
servanthood before Allaah (SWT), and 2) are given ample opportunities to enjoy this
natural kind of learning. In a society where it has become common trend to deprive young
children of natural play and replace it with seat-desk-worksheet-based learning is not
something I imagine the Prophet approving for children only 3 or 4 years old.
If a classroom or homeschooling environment is well stocked with meaningful playthings
conducive to a child's growth and development (spiritually, socially, emotionally, mentally,
physically, psychologically, and religiously) then whatever a child chooses to engage in
upon his or her own volition, the play is bound to become significantly meaningful to the
child and the learning experiences and outcomes show longer lasting positive results
naturally.

For the 30+ years I've been reading secular books and Islamic works regarding education
for young children and from what I see, there is a mutual consensus about how children
naturally grow, develop, and learn. It is due to my understanding and personal teaching
experiences stemming back to 1983, working with three-, four-, and five-year-olds and
allowing them choices and genuinely following their lead in what interests them is what
causes me to continue with this means of teaching for I find it to be aligned with the Sunnah
of how the Prophet (SAWS) himself interacted with children.
Furthermore, some of the books I've read that cite earliest learning structure and education
aims and objectives for children are:
MUSLIM EDUCATION IN MEDIEVAL TIMES by Bayard Dodge; 1962.
SOME ASPECTS OF MUSLIM EDUCATION by Mansoor A. Quraishi; 1983.
ISLAMIC EDUCATION by Mohd. Sharif Khan; 1986.
EDUCATIONAL PHILOSOPHY OF THE QUR'AN by Dr. Mahar Abdul Haq; 1990.
EDUCATION IN EARLY ISLAMIC PERIOD by Zafar Alam; 1991.
There were a couple or more others but I no longer have them in my possession and don't
remember their titles or authors. The two books published before or during 1983 served as
my earliest foundation for teaching young children. I had a class of no less than 25 children
ranging from three to five year olds and had no assistant whatsoever. Collectively, the class
was well managed; the children were disciplined, keen to following good Islamic practices,
showing empathy towards each other, living for and by one another, enjoying learning, and
always wanting to come back to school for more. AND all social-emotional, spiritual,
religious, and academic benchmarks were met, evident by observing any given single child
from my class. And as with anything in a Muslim's life there is to be balance and so is the
same for teaching children. The class had resources which the children had free access to
which covered all of the standard components of learning required for nursery,
prekindergarten and kindergarten aged children. Most concepts the children learned were
not through work sheets but mostly through real life hands-on experiences and
differentiated activities. They had free access to all the manipulatives, supplies, library
books, etc. and they knew how to work within an area, handle equipment, and respect
boundaries. They learned Quraan and made their salah as best they could without
problem. They played and learned in natural ways common to young children, even during
what was supposed to be times for nap. Whatever a child expressed interest in I tried to
accommodate him/her without neglecting or negating the curriculum provided to me. At
the end of my first year, being the only teacher in that school without a degree of any kind
the principal and parents were completely satisfied. To this regard, my commitment to the
whole growth and development of children colored my response to early childhood
education and turned it into opportunities for natural Allaah-centered learning and that's
what I advocate. Child-led learning and learning through play works. And this was all way
before I was aware that how I was teaching was considered an aspect of tarbiyah (a term
not popular or commonly known back then).
From what I've read and understand regarding "early childhood education" as it is today
and was during the times of the Prophet (SAWS), and the tabiyeen and the tabatabiyeen
there is/was no formal set education for children before the age of 7 (as young children do

not have a clarified sense of discretion and lack the discipline required for formal
learning)rather, they learned what they would soon be required to know by informally
observing and learning examples modeled by adults.
In 2012 I prepared a teacher's workshop "Relevance of Play in Early Childhood Learning"
which I may have forwarded to you before and if not, I kindly invite both you and your sonin-law and anyone else for that matter to thoroughly view the presentation from beginning
to end (please see attachment). After viewing it, I look forward to and welcome your
feedback so we could continue this dialogue, Insha'Allaah.
The links to the videos included in the presentation are provided below because you
will not be able to view them from the PDF attachment.
I hope you'll make time to view the presentation and videos. Together or separately, they
will be worth your time to watch so to gain a better understanding of why I support
learning through play and child-led learning.
Although the presentation is primarily for early childhood learning, it still is appropriate
for teachers and parents of older children as well, meaning if any young person doesn't get
sufficient amounts of time to play then the child will demonstrate that need for it one way
or the other (which explains why so many children become fidgety, disruptive, unfocused,
etc. in school, especially boys).
About your example regarding prayer: I totally agree with you that young children should
be encouraged to pray. And how did the Prophet (SAWS) encourage them? By kindly,
warmly, lovingly, and tenderly inviting them to come join beside him as he prayed, it was
simple as that. In this way, he modeled the movements and words for salah and in turn
because the children loved him so much, they wanted to emulate him and hence, they
gained a love for worship and prayer too.
One of the things that I always understood from Seerah of the Prophet (SAWS) was that he
never said "No" to a child. He viewed things from their perspective, their likes and dislikes,
and approached his lessons for them accordingly. I pray to never become narrow minded
where I shut myself off from new information about how the blessed and noble Messenger
(SAWS) interacted with and transformed children into being true believers.
So in ending this particular correspondence, I politely ask that you share any
additional knowledge that will paint a more complete or fuller picture to this matter of
teaching children.
Response Message from Sr. S. / Email 9c:
I hope InshAllah, you are doing very well with blessings of Almighty Allah SWT.
JazakAllah khairan for your insight. I completely agree children should learn through play.