Page

USING LANGUAGE TO PERSUADE

ESSENTIAL STUDENT SUPPORT MATERIAL
STUDENT NAME:

CONTENTS
ULTP Single Analysis Success Criteria
ULTP Comparative Analysis Success Criteria
Single Article Analysis LAs Essay Structure
Comparative Analysis LA Essay Structure
Advice From the Examiner
2013 Examination Examiners Report
How to annotate: Modelled Annotation
Student Sample: Single Language Analysis
2006 Exam: Comparative Analysis
2006 Exam Student Sample: Comparative LA
Essay
Improved Comparative Body Paragraph
Sample Introductions and Introduction
Template
Sample Conclusions and Conclusion Template
Vague Analysis: What Not To Do
Vocabulary and Sentence Starters

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Using Language To Persuade: Single Analysis

Assessment
Criterions
1. Analysis of the
ways that verbal
and visual
language is used
to position
readers in
particular ways.

Please note: this

criterion is worth
half the whole
task.
2. Expressive,
fluent and
coherent
writing.

3. Effective use
of
metalanguage.

Success Criteria

Annotate articles
Identify and analyse PLTs

Identify and analyse other ways authors persuade (such as: layout, ordering of arguments, tonal shifts, how a
text begins or ends etc.)
Consider the author and intended audiences background/experiences/ values and profession when analysing
how the author has constructed their arguments
Critically analyse the way an author has constructed a writing piece without summarising or interpreting what is
said
Make connections between various aspects of the texts when analysing
Analyse images in depth and can pick out specific elements of it to draw unique and insightful analysis

Write meaningful analysis that is not vague or simplistic

Analyse the article in a way that demonstrates their critical and unique authorial voice

Consider multiple interpretations of the text in their analysis and acknowledge, extend or challenge them
Write an introduction (ITACT), body paragraph and conclusion following the designated format
Write in a clear and easy to understand way without sacrificing quality and depth
Sentences are not superfluous/ do not go on and on

Spelled words (especially contextually relevant words) correctly

Use apostrophes correctly
Used punctuation marks correctly

Used punctuation marks to develop an authorial voice and a unique style

Used correct grammar and tense
Master the structure of a language analysis essay but then move beyond its
mechanical components to develop individuality and interesting writing
Focus on in depth, critical analysis and does not summarise or go off track
Learn and practised using a range of sentence starters
Experimented with and often change their sentence starters so that they do not begin every sentence by
identifying a technique
Brainstormed subject specific vocabulary and are using adjectives that better describe the effect of the writing
on the reader
Vary language

LO
W

ME
D

HIG
H

Know the metalanguage but do NOT technique label

Using Language To Persuade: Comparative Analysis

Assessment
Criterions
1. Analysis of
the ways that
verbal and
visual language
is used to
position readers
in particular
ways.

Please note: this

criterion is worth
half the whole
task.
2. Expressive,
fluent and
coherent
writing.

Success Criteria

Annotate articles
Identify and analyse PLTs

Identify and analyse other ways authors persuade (such as: layout, ordering of arguments, tonal shifts,
how a text begins or ends etc.)
Consider the author and intended audiences background/experiences/ values and profession when
analysing how the author has constructed their arguments
Critically analyse the way an author has constructed a writing piece without summarising or interpreting
what is said
Make connections between various aspects of the texts when analysing
Analyse images in depth and can pick out specific elements of it to draw unique and insightful analysis
Write meaningful analysis that is not vague or simplistic

Analyse the article in a way that demonstrates their critical and unique authorial voice
Consider multiple interpretations of the text in their analysis and acknowledge, extend or challenge them
Compare the ways to different articles have been constructed and analyse why

Write an introduction (ITACT), body paragraph and conclusion following the designated format
Write in a clear and easy to understand way without sacrificing quality and depth
Sentences are not superfluous/ do not go on and on

Spelled words (especially contextually relevant words) correctly

Use apostrophes correctly
Used punctuation marks correctly

Used punctuation marks to develop an authorial voice and a unique style

Used correct grammar and tense
Master the structure of a language analysis essay but then move beyond its
mechanical components to develop individuality and interesting writing
Focus on in depth, critical analysis and does not summarise or go off track
Master the structure of a comparative language analysis essay but then move beyond its mechanical
components to develop individuality and interesting writing
Learn and practised using a range of sentence starters
Experimented with and often change their sentence starters so that they do not begin every sentence by
identifying a technique

3. Effective use
of

LO
W

ME
D

HIG
H

metalanguage.

Brainstormed subject specific vocabulary and are using adjectives that better describe the effect of the
writing on the reader
Vary language
Know the metalanguage but do NOT technique label

 Comment on how the intended reader is left feeling

overall and how the author has aimed to achieve
this. Are they being prompted to take action/think
or feel in a certain way?
1st sentence: Identify one of the authors main
ideas/arguments
Following sentences: 1,2,3 STEP APROACH
Explain the ways that the
author creates the above idea/argument. Do this by
following the 1,2,3 step approach for each of the
techniques that you have identified as advancing the
authors idea/argument..
1. State or describe the PLT
2. Quote its use - EMBED A SHORT QUOTE NOT A
CHUNK OF THE ARTICLE
3. Explain the intended efect on the reader

Conclusio
n
Body
Paragraph
s
(3-4)

N.B: DO NOT forget to analyse any visuals/VARY

your vocabulary/
DO NOT write any vague analysis be as
specifc/descriptive as you can!

ITACT
Issue Give an overview of the issue and what triggered
it
Text details Authors name, Name of Article, Name of
publication, Text type
Audience Mention the intended audience
Contention State the authors contention
Tone State the authors main tone and analyse its
intended effect

Introducti
on

LANGUAGE ANALYSIS
ESSAY STRUCTURE Single
Analysis

REMEMBER: DO NOT RETELL THE ARTICLE, DO NOT GIVE YOUR

OPINION ON THE ISSUE, DO NOT WRITE VAGUE ANALYSIS
ANYWHERE!

LANGUAGE ANALYSIS
ESSAY STRUCTURE
Multiple Analysis

 Repeat above process for ARTICLE 2.

(If there are 3 articles then you will need to write
another body paragraph, following the same
structure, on that article.

Analyse ARTICLE 1.
Identify and discuss their arguments and
HOW/WHY they are constructed. Analyse the
intended efect of the writers choices on
their intended reader. Analyse
tone/visuals/structural elements/ choice and
use of PLTs etc. Demonstrate knowledge of
HOW/WHY the text was constructed in that
particular way because of the: context of the
issue/intended audience/authors
experiences

ITACT - for all articles

Issue Give an overview of the issue and what
triggered it
Text details Authors name, Name of Article,
Name of publication, Text type
Audience Mention the intended audience
Contention State the authors contention
Tone State the authors main tone and analyse
its intended effect

Body
Paragraph
2
ARTICLE 2
Body
Paragraph
1
ARTICLE 1
Introducti
on

REMEMBER: DO NOT RETELL THE ARTICLE, DO NOT GIVE YOUR

OPINION ON THE ISSUE, DO NOT WRITE VAGUE ANALYSIS
ANYWHERE!

Comment on how the readers of each

article are left feeling and how each
author has achieved this reaction.
Discuss their overall effectiveness in
achieving their purpose.

Conclusion
Body
Paragraph
3
SIMILARITIE
S

Analyse the similarities between

the articles:
Consider: visuals/choice of
language/choice of image/choice of
arguments/way of arguing/choice of
PLTs/structural
elements/tone/structure of
arguments/types of arguments

Body
Paragraph
4
DIFFERENC
ES

Analyse the diferences between

the articles:
Consider: visuals/choice of
language/choice of image/choice of
arguments/way of arguing/choice of
PLTs/structural
elements/tone/structure of
arguments/types of arguments

DO Demonstrate knowledge of HOW/WHY the text was

constructed in that particular way because of the: context
of the issue/intended audience/authors experiences

Advice from the

Examiner
EXPAND your VOCABULARY
Demonstrate your knowledge of the BACKGROUND of the issue and
HOW/WHY the text was constructed as a result of what is/was
happening in society
Demonstrate knowledge of HOW the WRITERS EXPERIENCES
INFLUENCE their writing
Show awareness of SHIFTING TONALITIES and HOW/WHY the tone
shifts
NO NEEDLESS PARAPHRASING (summarising) of the text
Only embed VERY SHORT QUOTATIONS from the text
EXPLAIN the impacts of the way the article is constructed DONT just
LABEL or DEFINE techniques
Always ask yourself WHY WHY did the author use that visual? WHY
did they place it where they did? WHY did they begin with that
argument? WHY did they use that PLT when they were writing
about that argument? Why did they start with that tone? Why did
they end with a diferent TONE?
ANALYSE DONT SUMMARISE
ALWAYS consider HOW/WHY the author has CONSTRUCTED their text
for their AUDIENCE
NO VAGUE ANALYSIS....EVER!
ALWAYS analyse the image(s)
CONSIDER the AUDIENCES PRIOR EXPERIENCES, VALUES,
BACKGROUND and the way the author has thought about that when
manipulating them.
DONT expect to can an OVERTLY persuasive article. You CAN ANALSYE
HOW ANY TYPE of article is constructed and HOW it SUBTLY
MANIPULATES.
AVOID THESE SENTENCES:
The writer goes on to say that....

INSTEAD Write:

The tonal shift from..... to ...... (analyse effect)

The writer .....(insert a different verb for says).....
The (intended audience) is .... when the writer.....

2013 Examination Report

Section C Analysis of language use
Section C offered students a newsletter entitled Getting our future back on the rails slowly
and was designed to persuade local community members to support the Grow Slow Garden
Group, who were advocating the use of an area of land for the establishment of a community
garden. Most students understood the importance of considering the Background information,
which gave the material a clear context.
The instructions called for students to analyse how the writer used written and visual
language to attempt to persuade the reader to share his point of view. English GA 3 Exam
Published: 3 February 2014 11
The piece set up its broad contention very early and made use of a number of contrasts as
one of its primary means of persuasion. For example, the language used to describe the
alternative proposals for the land were regarded as fenced and concreted or yet another
car park. This was in contrast to a notion of forward thinking, and forward movement with
regard to the proposal for a garden, but at the same time presenting it with a nostalgic,
historical perspective.
There were two visuals. The first was from a World War II poster, and most students
understood why it was included in the newsletter and analysed it accordingly. The second was
a graph and an image of a shopping cart, where the tone of the newsletter had shifted,
implying that a community garden would help with food waste and would be environmentally
sound. There were distinct links between the written material and the way the reader was
being set up to think through the use of the visual.
Careful reading yielded students numerous and various opportunities to demonstrate their
skills of analysing the ways language was used to persuade. Given the time constraints of an
examination, there is no expectation that all detailed elements can be explored. Students
must make decisions about selecting the parts of the material that allow them to demonstrate
an understanding of the material as a whole, their understanding of the range of ways in
which language positions readers and their skills at analysis. The instructions, however,
specifically stated that there was an expectation that students would deal with the visual
material.
All students offered their perspectives on the language use in the presented material, and the
best responses were sophisticated and articulate. There were few examples of labelling, and it
was clear that students understood the nature of this task. This simplistic approach, however,
is still present and students must understand that there is little to be gained by simply
identifying techniques.
It was clear that many teachers emphasise tone. While understanding the tone of a piece and
the potential for it shifting as a piece unfolds shows insight into the piece, it is still only one
small aspect of analysis. Students should be thoughtful about how they describe the tone, and
should not simply pluck words from a memorised list.
Descriptions such as appealing to bandwagon jumping, appeal to parents or appeal to
authority are generalised comments and, without more detailed exploration, add little to a
complex understanding of the piece. Likewise, some students spent far too much time on a
single point at the expense of offering insights into the breadth of ways the writer used
language to persuade.
The following is an example of a thoughtful, upper-range response that shows the
students clear understanding of the material and the task.
In reference to the recent discussion about the future uses of an unused area of land
previously home to a railway line. The Grow Slow Garden Group advocates for the
establishment of a community garden, promoting a greener Australia. In the local

newsletter, distributed to households in the surrounding area, the Grow Slow Garden Group
strongly contends that a community garden is both innovative, productive and healthy and
hence should be favoured over other plans and projects including a skateboard ramp and
carpark.
Addressing fellow members of the community, the group appeals to the readers sense of
unity and patriotism to urge everyone to work together when faced with the issue of the
proposed land use. Starting the piece with as just about everyone knows, the Grow Slow
Garden Group uses a very personal and relatable tone to draw their readers to view the
proposal as a group and community effort. There is a shift in the tone of the piece as the
group encourages their critics who view them as a radical group to change their opinions
and see them as a sincere, responsible and proud environmental group instead, whose only
goal is to help the community. The juxtaposition between the words extreme as they have
been labelled with the powerful use of proud positions readers who have objected to their
group and their proposal to feel ashamed and more inclined to support their fellow
community members as well as the rest of Australia, appealing to the readers sense of
patriotism. This notion of unity if further enhanced by the reference to the second world war
in which British citizens had to work together in order to feed their families. Appealing to the
older generation who may have children the image of the war poster arouses the readers
sense of patriotism as well as strikes their hearts due to the smiling faces of the children in
the background. The words for their sake, encourages parents to protect their children and
their futures, showing them that a community garden can both protect their children and be
beneficial towards them if they grow [their] own vegetables. The depiction of the boot and
shovel also arouse feelings of hard work and effort, which may make readers feel the need to
support and stand up for their community and implement the proposal of the community
garden.
Moving away from the notion of parental responsibility, the group argues that there is a
crisis at hand involving all members of the community, especially taxpayers. The use of the
word crisis has negative connotations of disaster and chaos, evoking feelings of unease and
unrest within readers who may face problems if the issue of the unused area of land remains
unresolved. Appealing to families who have to feed their families as well as couple and other
tax-paying members of the community, the group highlights the issue of packaged frozen and
take away being consumed which costs the state millions of dollars.
Consumption of these sorts of foods has led to an overwhelming cost reaching over 350
million dollars as shown in the graph. The easy-to-read visual with the graph that has a scale
of millions 4 may shock readers who are unaware of the hidden price tag, alarming them
and dissuading them from eating parched, takeaway foods. The price tag is also shown on an
image of a shopping trolley, further dissuading readers. Hence, the fresh food that is less
likely to be tossed out for grown from community gardens is more sustainable alternative to
unhealthy and wasteful foods and readers feel more inclined to support the community
garden and their products. As well as this, the council is also urged to establish a garden
which will reduce their spending costs.
Using a familiar and warm tone, the adults in the readership are drawn also to the authors
relatable anecdotes which promote health and education for children. The sense of
community is once again aroused as the Grow Slow Garden Group positions themselves with
their readers using most of us and referring to our loved ones (our Dad or Grandpa). These
feelings of care and affection that can be seen from putting seeds in the earth position
readers to feel that a community garden can provide not only resourcefully but also gives us
warm memories of childhood and our families. The notion that the community garden has no
barriers elicits a sense of acceptance and unity amongst the community who are then urged
to allow their children to do physical work in the fresh air and get to know their neighbours.
These actions induce positivity and are both beneficial to the body and mind, hence both
parents gain the readership and members of the council are encouraged to accept the
discussed proposal of the implementation of a community garden.

Alluding to the readers sense of community and togetherness, the Grow Slow Garden group
is able to draw their readers onside to view the establishment of the garden as beneficial,
both now and in the future. References to not only the short term advantages but also the
long term, encourages parents, taxpayers, member of council etc in the readership to see the
community garden as a positive and forward thinking project, which will be beneficial for
ourselves, our children and our planet.
Assessor comments
A thorough and controlled piece of writing.
Thoughtful analysis of specific words and phrases and the manner in which they are used in
an attempt to persuade.
There is a suitable balance between the specific analysis and the broader ideas.
Expression is accurate and fluent.
Clear understanding of both the task and the piece itself.
This is an upper-level script.

MODELLED ANNOTATION
ISSUE:
Late term
abortion
performed for
psychosocial
reasons

TEXT DETAILS:
(Highlight
these to save
time)

AUDIENCE:
Parents and
physicians

CONTENTION:

TONE:

Late term
abortion
performed for
psychosocial
reasons should
be illegalised

Late-term abortion a life and death debate

by: David van Gend

From: Herald Sun

January 28, 2008 12:00AM

Appeal to
sympathy:
1B

Repetition:

The picture of the

innocent
baby
who
could
possibly
be
The fact that the
aborted
appeals
to
babyThe
is medical
fully formed
data tells a different story. In Victoria, the most recent data is from the
readers sympathy and
in the
image
repeats 2005 survey of perinatal deaths. The majority of late abortions
Health
Department's
positions them to want
the were
idea
in the reasons, not fetal abnormality.
for psychosocial
introduction
that
Emotive Imagery:
abortions
are
The term "psychosocial"
means there is no medical problem with the mother or the baby,
performed
but the parents request
on abortion because of economic or emotional stress.
1A
entirely
healthy
The
factarethat
the
foetus
At 23-27
weeks of pregnancy, when other premature
babies
being
cared
for inlooks
the like a baby
babies
positioning
1C
sucking
its thumb
evokes a
hospitaltonursery,
healthyisbabies
were terminated
for
readers
feel the
asrecords for 2005 show that 108and
psychosocial
as those terminated
response
for in
congenital
readers prompting
though
suchreasons,
an which is five times as many maternal
SHORT HAND
abnormality.
them to want to protect the unborn child.
abortion
is
ANNOTATION
EXAMPLE: viable
murderous as the
pregnancy at 23-27
Late abortion for psychosocial reasons is by far the biggest single cause of "stillbirth" in
weeks
Victoria. In 2005, the deliberate ending of these healthy lives accounted for one in every
IMAGERY: Parents feel
threeclaim
stillbirths.
Is late abortion
merely
a tragic
to lethal
grave fetal
abnormality
THE
that late-term
abortion
is done
only response
in cases of
abnormality
or toor
love toward the babies
save
mother's
life life?
is demonstrably
false. is done for any reason that sufficiently
risk the
to the
mother's
No. Late abortion
it may get them to feel
sentimental or to connect
stresses the parents and its numbers are climbing fast.
it with the birth of their
The truth is that most late abortions, which are 20 weeks of pregnancy, are done to
own child
entirely
healthy
of entirely
healthy
mothers,
and never
by a perform
method late
so cruel
I am
Importantly,
the babies
report shows
that public
hospitals
almost
abortion
for
JUXTAPOSITION: this
reluctant to describe it.
reasons of psychosocial stress. Since 2001, of the 581 late abortions done for
exaggerates the perverse
nature of the LTA and
psychosocial reasons, only four were done in a public hospital. The rest were done by
In many cases these are babies older than those in our hospital nurseries, who might
reminds readers that the
private operators.
have been born alive and adopted to loving parents, but were instead "terminated".
foetus are living human
2A

Private clinics should be regulated so they lose their licence if they perform abortions
Dr Lachlan De Crespigny and Prof Julian Savulescu (Opinion 23/1) state that late
after 20 weeks. This would save the lives of 100 premmie babies a year.
abortion is done only "for major problems as a last resort", giving the example of a lethal
Instead of being wide awake to the devastating violence of late abortion, the public is
being lulled as to how rare it is and how necessary it is in the face of lethal abnormality.
In my view, if adults are so psychologically disturbed that they would take their healthy,
20-week baby, visibly kicking and jumping in the womb, to an abortion clinic, those
people need urgent psychological and social help.
The law must continue to restrain adults, and the doctors who would collaborate in such
an assault.
De Crespigny's argument lacks moral balance. It is as if the baby does not exist.
For our generation, late abortion is the test of whether or not our society sinks into
savagery, deaf to babies so callously sacrificed to the psychosocial comfort of adults.
Dr David van Gend is secretary to the World Federation of Doctors who Respect
Human Life

beings
ADAPTED TO ANALYSIS
FOR A PARAGRAPH
Van Gend asserts the
viability of pregnancies at
23-27 weeks by using
examples of babies that
have been born. The
strong imagery of
babies being cared for
ignites the readers
maternal/paternal
instinct in connecting
with these newborns and
positions them to see the
unborn foetus as babies
that need to be
protected. Furthermore,
the juxtaposition of the
loving life these babies
are born into and the

ID
IMAGERY: Connects to
the image and flattens
any assumption that the
foetus is unaware of the
murderous act that will
be carried out against it.

Main Idea/Argument 1:

Main Idea/Argument 2:

The unborn babies are categorised Dr Van Gend accentuates that

as living, human beings capable of LTAs are violent, murderous acts
life rather than a foetus.
that cannot be considered
necessary medical procedures.

Main Idea/Argument 3:
Dr Van Gend asserts that LTA for
psychosocial reasons are selfish
and that anyone who performs or
endorses them lack moral
balance.

STUDENT SAMPLE SECTION C SINGLE ARTICLE ANALYSIS

Article: LTA A Life and Death Debate MED-HIGH
Dr David van Gends scathing opinion piece published in the Herald Sun on the 28 th of
January 2008 refutes the idea that late term abortions are only being performed as a last
resort. Titled Late term abortion a life and death debate, the piece emphasises the increase
of abortions performed due to reasons perceived as selfish. Van Gend contends that abortions
performed after 20 weeks should be become illegal. His scathingly appalled tone, directed at
medical professionals and parents who perform late-term abortion for psychosocial
reasons positions readers to see the act as barbaric murder. Likewise, his use of connotation
coupled with attacks forces readers to consider the long-term consequences of late term
abortion.
Dr Van Gend depicts proponents of late term abortion and parents considering it as selfish and
disturbed. He employs repetition; entirely healthy babies of entirely healthy mothers,

which reinforces the idea of late termination as entirely unnecessary as both mother and baby
are already healthy. Van Gend then goes on to position readers to see parents
contemplating late term abortion as overreacting by sarcastically attacking the belief that
late abortion is done for any reason thatstresses the parent. He applies another attack to
demoralise his opponents; De Crespignys argument lacks moral balance, asserting the
belief that the baby does not exist. As Van Gend is a physician and member of an antiabortion society, he seeks to portray other opposing doctors as cold and indifferent to human
life, and by contrast, himself and his beliefs as benevolent.
Van Gend puts forth the idea that 20 week old foetuses are babies in their own right. He
makes the generalisation that In many cases there are babies...who might have been born
alive and adopted to loving parents. This draws attention away from the idea that children
might be adopted into abusive or neglectful families. He then goes on to use informal
connotation, describing foetuses as ...premmie babies. The reader is drawn to perceive the
foetuses as worthy of survival, and in need of protection. This connects with the
accompanying image of a foetus in its mothers womb. The image invokes a maternal instinct
in readers, which prompts them to feel protective towards the developing child, and to feel a
sense of responsibility to protect them.
An alarmist tone is adopted by Van Gend when he asserts that late term abortion for
psychosocial reasons is happening more than previously thought. He blatantly appeals to
readers vanity by describing that most...late abortions... [are] done to entirely healthy
babies as the truth. This prompts readers to agree with Van Gend as they do not want to
be seen as fools. In a way, Van Gend portrays himself as a paternal figure guiding the readers
to make the correct decision regarding late term abortion. He goes on to make the
hyperbolic statement that late abortion for psychosocial reasons ...is by far the biggest single
cause of stillbirth in Victoria. This makes late term abortion seem like a larger factor than it
really is. Coupled with scare tactics in describing the numbers of late term abortions as
...rising fast, Van Gend plays on fears of the devastating consequences of late term
abortion, and prompts readers to assume that the rate is only going to rise.
Dr David Van Gends opinion piece attempts to convince proponents of and parents
considering aborting foetuses after 20 weeks that the practice is inhumane and dangerous.
Overall, he employs hyperbolic language with scare tactics and often statistics which positions
readers to see late term abortion as frightening, with dangerous consequences. It is
interesting that he employs statistics for such an emotive issue; however, it is effective in
portraying his contention as plausible and logical rather than emotionally charged. After
reading the piece, readers are left with the impression that aborting a foetus after 20 weeks is
inhumane, as they are capable of surviving and leading a life in the care of loving parents.
Readers are invited to imagine their own family in such a situation, and as a result look in
horror upon late term psychosocial termination.

2006 EXAM SECTION C ARTICLES: COMPARATIVE ANALYIS

Can Money Buy Happiness?
In Australia we live in a comparatively affluent society where most people expect to own a car, a computer and a
mobile phone. This expectation can be both positive and negative.
Some people find a type of happiness in the independence and choice that money can bring. For others, though,

happiness is simply not connected to having money and the things it can buy. The issue to consider is: can money buy
happiness?

The following is an article providing financial advice, published in Starting Out, a magazine for young people.

MAKING MONEY WORK FOR YOU . . .

Now youve got some money, why not make your money work for you?
Think of all the things that make you happy. Now, you can work towards achieving them. There are plenty of websites
to give you good, sound, safe advice.
Ever heard of compound interest? Sounds boring but, trust me, it could really work for you!
All you need is $1 000 to get you going.
The excitement of stocks and shares can be yours! Once youve invested your money you need not worry any more.
Focus on enjoying the good things your money will buy while others do the worrying for you. But, you will need a
plan.
Start by writing down all the things youll need money for. Mobile phone? iPod? Faster Internet connection? Overseas
travel? A car? The deposit on an apartment?
You do not need to give up everything to make all this a reality. You do need to understand, however, that future
financial happiness may involve a little present pain.
Think of all the little things that we can really do without. What would it be for you? That 4 oclock chocolate bar?
That snappy new T-shirt? That must have new hair product?
It might cost a little bit now, but think about it: what price happiness?
The following is an editorial published in a monthly magazine called Life Issues.

Theres more to happiness than money . . .

Unhappiness is endemic in affluent societies.
Data shows there is little relationship between the level of
income and happiness. A recent OECD survey found that
people in Mexico are on average happier than people in
Australia. In Mexico the average income buys barely one
third as much as the average income purchases in
Australia.
Why then, one may ask, is there comparatively so much
unhappiness in a wealthy country like Australia?
In the first place, individuals adapt to higher incomes.
Consequently, the effect of a higher income on life
satisfaction evaporates over time. Secondly, individuals
tend to make social comparisons.

Some argue that subjective satisfaction is affected by the

assessment of ones own situation relative to ones peers.
Where, then, can one find lasting happiness? Is it found
in good health? Is it at home with family and loving
relationships? Is it in the company of friends? Is it found
in purposeful work? Or is it perhaps in doing good for
others? Perhaps one should think of happiness as
ephemeral and not seek to find it as a permanent state.
If ones unhappiness is generated by social comparisons,
then instead of comparing oneself with the rich and
famous, one should be content to count ones blessings.

STUDENT SAMPLE COMPARATIVE LANGUAGE ANALYSIS ESSAY.

SECTION C 2006: Articles: Starting Out and Making Money Work For You
The inextricably linked concepts of happiness and wealth are grappled with in the Starting
Out article Making Money Work For You and Life Issues editorial Theres more to
happiness than money. Within affluent societies consumerism can either be endorsed or
attacked; while the first articles aims to entice young people into the world of stocks and
shares, the second responds to the dilemma of those in Australia with material wealth but no
happiness. An advisory tone is used by the Starting out contributor who encourages his
young audience to achieve happiness through investment. Conversely, the editor of the Life
Issues piece subverts the commonplace belief in money providing happiness and even the
idea of happiness as a permanent state.
Making Money Work For You is essentially a persuasive advice piece that operates on the
premise that money leads to happiness within a consumerist society. The enthusiastic tone of
the column excites the young readers who are searching for things that make [them] happy.
Whilst pandering to their desire for material wealth; mobile phones. iPod and an
apartment the writer constructs a hyper-reality in which money is abundant and so too,
fulfilment. Therefore the idea that money is essential for wellbeing is established and
reiterated throughout. Moreover, the bold image of dollar sign reinforces that central to the
excitement of stocks and shares and the price of happiness is money. Though the ideas
that the writer imbues the column with are mature and complex, he uses snappy colloquial
language to engage with and relate to the young audience. This works to identify the piece as
relevant to the needs of young workers and also invited them to engage more within the
financial world. ***Spend more time analysing the image. Other things I want you to consider
analysing: The purposeful structure of the arguments; The layout (if appropriate). Consider intended
audience in this language choice as well - Article 1 really plays on that Y generation stereotype that
younger people are materialist/want things now and need to be constantly entertained consider this
when considering the tone/language style.***

However, the second article Theres More To Happiness Than Money employs a more
academic and scientific tone. As suggested in the title, the writer challenges the highly valued
position of money within affluent societies and proposes that individuals adapt to higher
incomes. By citing the OECD as an expert authority in the field of psychographics, the writer
adds weight to their contention *** borderline vague or unimportant*** and validates their
subversion of commonplace values. Furthermore, the piece as a whole is constructed in a very
grounded manner, in that Australia and Australian income are focused on. This allows the
adult readers of Life Issues to identify with the subject of happiness and materialism without
feeling alienated and attacked. The editor oscillates between a scientific and philosophical
tone through using a variety of statistics as well as non-referential sentences. These
sentences do not contain anaphones which relate to the rest of the text and therefore allow
the idea that happiness as ephemeral to stand out as a philosophical truth in amongst
scientific reason. ***Always remember you are not required to analyse every part of the article. But
you would want to make sure that you analyse the sections which you have the most insightful
things to say about avoid looking at thing that the mediocre students will analyse OR/ ensure that is
you analyse these more obvious things that your analysis is tip top spectacular. Now whilst your
analysis is much better than mediocre here, I would like you to consider other things to analyse. What
of this structure of the arguments/? Why conclude in the way he does? Go into more depth analysing
this article this only shows a med-high understanding of the issue/why the article is constructed***

Due to being aimed at different audiences, the two articles have different purposes. In
Making Money Work For You the writer not only advises his adolescent audience in how to
spend some money theyve earned, it also attempts to introduce the traditionally mature
world of investment to these young people. In contrast, the editor of Theres More To

Happiness Than Money attempts to reassure those who have seen the limitations of
income on general wellbeing and to assert that an obsession with money is not conducive
to happiness. The use of ellipses in the titles of both pieces work in a contrasting manner. The
Starting Out writer implies that the answer to fiscal success lies in the article and the thus
the ellipses acts as a prelude to the advisory content. Whereas in the Life Issues editorial the
ellipses invite thought and a more reflective response as to what happiness is and how it is
linked to money. This links into the general consumerist tone of the first piece which features
a large dollar sign behind the text; illustrating that just as the dollar sign is behind the written
advice, so too is financial success behind and underlying stock investment. *** Excellent ***
Though the two pieces fundamentally operate on opposing views of the relationship between
money and happiness, they both define what happiness essentially is. Making Money Work
For You constructs the idea that money can be manipulated in a manner that allows the
audience not [to] worry anymore and therefore feel financial comfort and happiness. So too,
the Life Issues piece creates a link between unhappiness and social comparisons
illustrating to the audience that happiness is ephemeral and attained by counting ones
blessings. The materialistic focus of the articles continues as the writers appeal to the
desires of their audiences. The Starting Out writer encourages readers to actively write
down their desires, so as to make them more explicit and tangible. Moreover the Life Issues
editor encourages their audience to reflect upon the issues of happiness through the use of
rhetorical questions. This approach is taken by the writers who understand that their
audiences operate within a capitalist system and are seeking satisfaction. *** Excellent you
have got into the mind of the writer and the audience *** Where Overseas travel and A car
satiate the desires of the Starting Out young audience, similarly loving relationships and
purposeful work are more mature and emotional outlets of the same fundamental need for
satisfaction.
Though the content in the Starting Out financial advice article is mature, its youthful and
excitable presentation encourages and educates young people in the art of investment.
Therefore the readers are left with a sense of financial purpose and guidance, which prompts
them to seek to do more with their money as a means of obtaining future happiness. The Life
Issues piece conveys philosophical calm onto the audience who are searching for answers
concerning happiness. It provides readers with a fresh and unconventional perspective of
what happiness is within western culture. The readers arent necessarily prompted to make
physical changes, as their problems with happiness are more psychological. Rather, the
readers take away an intrinsic notion that happiness is temporary and found within oneself,
rather than external forces. ***If you can write a conclusion that embeds quotes and is as
worthwhile a read as this in the exam it will be awesome! Much more analytical than body par 2***

IMPROVED COMPARATIVE PARAGRAPH

Planning: Create a table of the similarities/differences between the two articles that may be
worth discussing.
Similarities
Diferences
Rhetorical questions: Article 1- appeals Begins
by
analysing
peoples
to peoples materialistic values. Article 2
happiness within society: Article 1
appealing to peoples wellbeing
presumes happiness and therefore shows
Both provide advice: both articles
a direct link between money and
provide advice on the individuals
happiness. Article 2 presents happiness as
wellbeing
ephemeral, fleeting, rather than an
Use of ellipsis: Article 1-suggests that
ongoing achievable state.

Picture: In Article 1 the placement of the

money will create an easier life. Article 2
suggests that life is not all about money

and that societys values are skewed

dollar sign is symbolic of the notion that

money is central to life. The absence of
the image in Article 2 leaves readers
contemplating its importance in a fulfilling
life.

Both the editor of the advice column and the editorial explore the role of money in peoples
ability to lead happy lives. The advice columns headline turns the idea that people work for
money on its head. Instead it creates the ideas that making money work for individuals is a
simplistic and achievable state. The use of the ellipsis suggests that the column will explore
the possibilities money has in leading to peoples happiness and success. The editorial
similarly uses an ellipsis in the headline, stating Theres more to happiness than money....
However, in this piece the headline immediately refutes the advice columns suggestion that
money is a means for creating happiness and instead uses the ellipsis as means of positioning
readers to question the role of money in leading to individuals contentment. Both writers
repetitively use rhetorical questions in order to show the possibilities or limitations of money.

INTRODUCTION TEMPLATE AND SAMPLES

FORMULAIC INTRODUCTION STRUCTURE FOR BEGINNERS
TEMPLATE 1
[Describe issue] presented by [publisher]. The [text type] [title of text] is written in response
to [reason]. [Author] contends that [contention and riddle in intended audience]. The [tone]
and the [device] created the idea that [effect on reader].
TEMPLATE 2
[Authors Name][Title of article], [reason]. The [text type] published in [place of publication]
on [date of publication] [position on issue]. [Author] contends that [contention]. Their [tone]
has the [effect on readers and riddle in intended reader]. Furthermore, the [main device]
[effect on reader].
INTRODUCTION SAMPLE 1: NOT ACCEPTABLE
Dr Van Gend wrote an article about later term abortions and it was published in the Herald
Sun on 28th January 2008. In the article, Late-term Abortion a Life and Death Debate he
argues that abortions are bad. I agree with him that abortions are bad. His article is directed
at readers of the Herald Sun and the general public. He uses an angry tone to evoke anger.
INTRODUCTION SAMPLE 1: LOW
Dr Van Gend wrote an article about later term abortions and it was published in the Herald
Sun on 28th January 2008. In the article, Late-term Abortion a Life and Death Debate he
argues that abortions are bad. He convinces readers with his angry tone that they should be
illegal.
INTRODUCTION SAMPLE 2: MEDIUM/ MEDIUM HIGH
The immense number of inhumane abortions accepted in todays society is elucidated by the
Herald Sun as completely unacceptable. The opinion piece Late-term Abortion a Life and
Death Debate written on the 28 th of January, 2008, accentuates the murders of the healthy
babies, that are of no physical threat to the child or the bearer. Dr. David Van Gend, a
secretary to the World Federation of Doctors who respect human life, contends that late-term

abortion due to reasons including psychosocial problems should be illegalised, attempting to

change the mindset of adults who conform with this type of cruel abortion to do so
otherwise. Van Gend manipulates his qualification and use of sentimental language, evoking a
sense of shame in his targeted audience with the use of an appalled, assertive manner.
INTRODUCTION SAMPLE 3: HIGH
Dr Van Gends Late Term Abortion a Life and Death Debate, candidly refutes the
misconception that late term abortions are only performed as a last resort. The opinion
piece, published in The Herald Sun on the 28 th January 2008 emphasises the growing
number of late term abortions performed for reasons that do not protect the mother or child.
Van Gend contends that abortions performed at twenty weeks should be illegalised. His
appalled tone at medical practitioners and parents who request abortion for psychosocial
reasons positions readers to see such abortions as a barbaric act against human life.
Furthermore, the constant reference to statistics from the Health Departments 2005 survey
of perinatal deaths force readers to face the deadly consequences of later term abortion.

CONCLUSION TEMPLATE AND SAMPLES

FORMULAIC CONCLUSION STRUCTURE FOR BEGINNERS
At the close of the (text type), (intended audience) is left thinking/feeling.....By closing
the article with a (tone type) the reader is positioned to .....The reader is left with the
impression that....
CONCLUSION SAMPLE 1: NOT ACCEPTABLE
At the close of the article, readers are left feeling sad. By closing the article with an angry
tone readers are positioned to feel angry. The reader is left with the impression that abortions
are bad.
INTRODUCTION SAMPLE 1: LOW-MEDIUM
This opinion piece was cleverly written to achieve an opposition against late-term
psychosocial abortions with parents. Much to his advantage was his qualification, which allows
him more creditability and trust within his arguments. He was quite unjust in showing the
oppositions viewpoints denigrating his opposition. The readers are left to ponder what they
would do in a situation of psychosocial stress and if it is an applicable reason to abort the lateterm birth, Dr Van Gend evidently saying otherwise.
CONLSUION SAMPLE 2: MEDIUM- HIGH
Dr David Van Gends opinion piece attempts to convince proponents of and parents
considering aborting foetuses after 20 weeks that the practice is inhumane and dangerous.
Overall, he employs hyperbolic language with scare tactics and often statistics which positions
readers to see late term abortion as frightening, with dangerous consequences. It is
interesting that he employs statistics for such an emotive issue; however, it is effective in
portraying his contention as plausible and logical rather than emotionally charged. After
reading the piece, readers are left with the impression that aborting a foetus after 20 weeks is

inhumane, as they are capable of surviving and leading a life in the care of loving parents.
Readers are invited to imagine their own family in such a situation, and as a result look in
horror upon late term psychosocial termination.
CONCLUSION SAMPLE 1: HIGH
Dr Van Gend concludes by forcing modern society to question their societys moral
conscience. Readers are left aghast, analysing whether they too are partly to blame for the
denigration of their society into one that disregards human life. Van Gends final criticism that
the loss of morality in society is all for the comfort of adults contradicts the self-sacrificing
aspiration of parents and ignites a sense of vehemence toward practioners or parents who
endorse later term abortion for psychosocial reasons.

Vague Analysis A BIG NO NO

What is vague analysis?
Vague analysis is any sentence in a language analysis that does not tell the examiner
anything. It may say that something is emotional without explaining what is emotional, how it
is emotional and what emotion it triggers. It is usually a big sweeping statement that does
not go deeply into the analysis and does not show that the person writing the analysis has
truly thought about how the writer has tried to persuade their intended audience.

Examples of vague sentences:

The image makes the reader feel sad.

The use of the words deadly debate are evoke strong emotion in the reader.
Readers are positioned to feel angry when the writer states that students will be
forced to wear their school uniform
The scare tactic, we will all end up with a deadly virus, encourages readers to agree
with the writers contention.

Activity: Identifying vague analysis and improve it

Body Paragraph Sample: Late-term Abortion a Life and Death Debate
Task: Read the body paragraph below. Highlight any vague analysis. Then, identify a
word, phrase and a sentence that you think needs the most attention in terms of
improvement. Be prepared to explain your selection.

Dr Van Gend argues that the foetus being aborted are more like innocent healthy babies. The
image of the unborn baby reminds us that the foetuses being aborted are babies. It positions
readers to think they are cute and feel sorry for them. The author repeats that they are
entirely healthy babies to persuade the reader that late-term abortions should be
illegalised. The imagery created when the author then says that they are visually kicking
and jumping in the womb further makes the reader agree with Dr Van Gends contention.
The fact that the author is an expert in his field, a secretary to the World Federation of
Doctors who respect Human Life gives him credibility and makes readers think that he cares
about the babies.

Task: Rewrite the body paragraph above eliminating any vague analysis and making
improvements where necessary.

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VOCABULARY
VERBS FOR SAYS THAT
Accentuates
Connotes
Downplays
Engenders
Fosters
Justifies
Signifies

Alerts
Contends
Denigrates
Enhances
Undercut
Promotes
Type cast

Alludes to
Demonstrates
Elicits
Evokes
Indicates
Provokes
Typify

Appeals
Devalues
Encourages
Exemplifies
Intensifies
Reveals
Undermine

Signifies
Underscore
Challenge
Type cast
Verify
Destabilize
Typify

Good 1st sentences for body paragraphs:

The
The
The
The
The
The
The

writer asserts that

writer creates the idea that
writer ignites the debate by stating that
writer constructs the ideas that
writer attempts to
text presents a view of
text develops the debate by

Good sentences when identifying the authors way of arguing:

[Writer]
[Writer]
[Writer]
[Writer]

reasons that
employs the use of [state PLT]
considers that
goes on to use [state PLT]

Good sentences for analysing the efect on the reader:

The
The
The
The
The
The

reader is positioned to
reader is challenged
reader is confronted by
reader is [insert emotion E.g. shocked]
reader is left with the impression
language...

Good sentences for the conclusion:

At the close of the [text type], the writer returns to the idea of
Finally, the writer summarises the viewpoint by way...
In conclusion, the writer says that
The article concludes by re-iterating

Think
Absorb
Ponder
Imagine
Regard
Visualise
Form a new
perspective
Contemplate
Reconsider
Process

Feel
A sense of betrayal
Excitement
Shock
Insecure
Sympathetic
Threatened
Outraged
Disgusted
Concerned
Reassured

Do
Agree
Disagree
Take action
Protest
Complain
Digest
Encourage
Discover
See clearly
Stand up for

Positions
Undercuts
Impinge
Influence
Sway
Impress
Imprints
Prompts
Convince
Stimulate