, > { : ’ Richard Bean ONE MAN, TWO GUVNORS Based on The Servant of Two Masters by Carlo Goldoni @ OBERON BOOKS, LONDON \WWWOBERONBOOKS COMCharacters (CHARLIE “CHARLIE THE DUCK’ CLENCH 50s, Brighton based but originally London. (Pantalone) PAULINE CLENCH his daughter, Brighton (Clarice) HARRY DANGLE 60s, erooked attorney, Rottingdean / tries to be posh Brighton (Lombardi) Partner in Dangle, Berry and Bush attorneys. ALAN the son of Dangle (Silvio) pou 30s, an employee of Clench, Brighton (Smeraldina) LLOYD BOATENG 50s, a friend to Clench, Ex London/Jamaican (Brighella) FRANCIS Essex Boy (Traffaldino) RACHEL CRABBE, rmid.20s, London (Beatrice Rasponi; 1* Master) STANLEY STUBBERS 105, Home counties, privately educated (Florindo Aretusi; 2+ Master) ‘Waiters/Porters as required Notes on text ‘Pm not using continental scene changes, ie: the scene doesn’t change on the entrance of new character, rather scene changes are restricted to time and location changes.Act One SCENE ONE Aste audience take their seas the skfle band plays. Lights down. 1963, “April, mid morning. A room in CHARLIE's house in Brighton, A framed ‘photo of Queen Etizabeth II at coronation upstage. CHARLIE, HARRY DANGLE, ALAN DANGLE, PAULINE, LLOYD, DOLLY and other fiends cand family, Hardly anything remains from a buffet of ypically English ‘party food. Maybe one lone cheese and pineapple ona stick, and some ‘peanuts, A party cam of beret. All very lively and jolly, withthe sie dean playing laughter, drinks, dancing. The songfinshs. PAULINE and ALAW Kiss, They toast “Pauline Alan” CHARLIE aps a glass for quit DANGLE: Happy engagement! Pauline and Alan! ‘ALL: Pauline and Alan! DOLLY: Come on Charlie! Give us a speech! LLOYD: Speech! (CHARLIE: I've only ever spoken three times, formally, in public, in my life, and each time I've been banged up by the judge straight afterwards! For twenty years, sme and Pauline's mother, Jean, were happy, and then, unfortunately, just by chance, we met each other. Alan, you've decided to get married, and as a man who has been married, I'd just lke to say, I do hope you realize you're making @ terrible mistake. ALL: (Bent of concerned silence, then laughter) ‘CHARLIE: T done me best bringing up Pauline, on me own, after her muvver... (Chokes, sorry LLOYD: ~ doin’ well Chatlie. (CHARLIE: I've had to be her dad and her mum after her muvver...(Chokes.) PAULINE: ~ Its alright dad.