Entry 4: Actor-Observer-Bias (Chapter 4)

2015, 12pm

Date & Time: 7th Nov

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Some people are used to finger pointing at ones wrong but forgive
and forget for the same scenario. This is also known as the actor-observer
bias (Jones & Nisbett 1971). Therefore, people with this type of bias may
commit an offense to most of the people. This occurs when they view from
the observer side, they comment on the attitude of other people. As such,
they disregard their behavior in a certain situation when their actions are
unacceptable but judge the behavior of other people in the same situation.
Well, by explaining the term doesnt seem fascinating. So, I will be grinding
my past experiences to show a better idea of a person with actor-observer
bias.
This would be one of the experiences that I became the bad guy. Ever
since when I was younger, I have never given a bad impression to my friends
parents. This is because I always greet them when I see them. After meeting
them for a few times, I will automatically greet them which I dont even have
to think what to say to greet. This does not apply on only one of my friends
parents; it applies on all of my friends parents. Until the day I entered
college, I met this girl by the name of Christy, who has an attractive smile
and always helpful whenever someone needs it, made me wanting to
understand her better. I started walking towards her and talked to her. At
first, I was nervous and I didnt know what else I should say. But, as I spit out
my first sentence, our conversation went as smooth as a train. We were
laughing and talking while waiting for our lecture to start. The worst part was
we even talked until we forgot the time to go for a lecture. We went into class
and got questioned by our lecturer. Then we picked the seats and sit together
and prepare for lecture. As class started, the lecturer starts assigning our new
project to us, which we need to form a group of 2. I looked at her and she
looked at me. That was how we formed a group. After getting all the
information about the project, we were itchy to get on with a discussion. We
have also planned to go to her house to do the assignments given. Few days
after, I drove to her house for the discussion that we have planned. As soon
as I reached her house in the late morning, I saw her mom hanging clothes
outside of the house. I got down from the car and asked her mom if shes at
home. Right after asking her mom, her mom gave me an unwilling look and
made me felt like I have done something wrong. Then, she yelled Christy to
inform her that I have reached. Christy invited me into her house and we
started working on our assignments. We had lots of ideas, lots of conflicts as
well because both of us are creative thinker. During an ongoing discussion, I
suddenly had a question to ask her. I asked her softly if her mom dislike me

going to her house to discuss. She shake her head any deny it. Her mom
suddenly came up to us and said we shouldnt look at our phones when were
doing serious stuff. Its better to silent our phone while working, Christys
mom mentioned. But on the other hand, she was cooking while looking at
her phone and which didnt make me feel good at all. I was giving Christy a
what the hell is this look and after her mom walked away, she told me to
bear with her mom as her mom always act this way. Alright, I was okay with
it.
And the day after tomorrow, she came to my house for the work that
she instructed me to do. The first thing we did after we have greet each other
was turned our gadgets to silent mode. I felt obedient for the first time as I
listen to what her mom told us to do. After that, we pulled out our materials
and started discussing about what we have aimed to complete at the end of
the day. Of course we talked out of topic for a bit, discussing about what
were going to do in the future and our dreams that wont die. From what she
told me, I knew that she is a hope big person, and the most admiring
attitudes which was determination. She also told me that everything she
does, she will anyhow complete it no matter how difficult the journey was.
And I told her Im directly opposite from her, I give up easily whenever I had
difficulties. What she did was she pat on my shoulder, gave me a warm smile
and said I will support you when you encounter problems. Few hours later
after were done with our work, she checked her phone if someone called her.
Scrolling through the phone, she saw over 10 missed calls from her mom. She
was nervous and quickly called back. Right after her mom answer the call,
she didnt stand a chance to greet and all her mom did was nagging and
scolding. The volume was so loud that even it was not on loudspeaker, I could
hear it. It was all about why did she silent her phone and not picking up.
Sooner, Christys face became frowner and frowner. She then passed the
phone to me and I guess her mom wanted me to explain. When I placed the
phone beside my ears, she was asking with nervous and furious of what we
were doing. I explained to her and she kept blaming me for guiding her
daughter to the wrong route. How can a girl be at a guys place without
answering calls. When I mentioned You were the one who asked us to silent
our phones. She was so rude that I couldnt stand it anymore so I ended the
call.
From what I have experienced, I can relate an actor observer bias is
basically a person that attributes own actions by external factors, but
attributes others by internal causes. I dont think anyone would accept this
kind of people in their life as these people bring lots of burden.