ATLANTIC THEATER COMPANY Fie Pope Mary McCoan _Andeow D. Harangson Annie Baker wt Jonathan Ciem, Peter Friedman, Mary McCain, JoBeth Willams ets times res ‘Watt Spengler webby Foderck Tey! Jason Lyons roadie — aang SEAR mgr chs “mas “Soke” chon Karen Kotha 2 Ames a ep ot 207 Sy Maps tals pagan is yes Funt hy aa ee Ore Wey el te eat Sg 2: eas en ce Tet ing / "Sata endear Gas and | Rebun and eng as Fasano on eae? “ne We ‘Tham srr, yp id eh aw ok Sy Dpriet A "is Foire frye ed om the Nat Ect Ba (CHARACTERS yore 85 “pu 21, herson PAYLIS- 15, ber ited ser ‘Stage eis Jee snd Fils’ Mechen. These'sasiak and ase ae ‘ith lain, ad Dob hilum st ofthe OED. Center tages a quested bed Thi Joes ad Phys bedroom Sage sigh ia cba ‘The acts should wander Heep in and ou of tests ding the scene ransdons, ni on ih, remong opsAUTHOR'S NOTE _DoDY FARES dale layed as manana pos. orgs "are coma: eon tate lay worse andr acl er) when everthing ir played in aren and eerie op Mon sou gesing the dence ugh Thi payee inde abe(Lights up on PELL stonding in front ofthe black. board, hitching « microphone and fe index cards. ‘Sheis nerwous, Wrten azo the Blackboard i the word "Monday" PYLLIS tales a deyp breath) ‘PEIYLLIS. The goal for Body Awareness Weck is threefold. (pou) One: catastfor dscusion “wo: ia chance for everyone here a Shirley State 19 jun Kind of check first wits ouraces, and our ov ‘oles, and then with our thought and judgments about other people's bodies We ive in a very hash ‘tare, a culture that encourages area obsaion wilh appearance, and, um, healing from tis eatare, heal ing ourselves, can only reall tke place once we're able to step backand examine the cultre uel rom a cxit- cal viewpoint. Deepak Chopra oes, what 1 chink sa really great example of le stuck in ajar if you beep the id on for Tong enough, when you finaly ake tof, only afew fies are actully brave enough to leave the, th, canfnas of the ja. The rex just Beep ying around inside, (he tae dp rah) Tyee: we've invited some realy fabulous guest artis to campus this week, so a great opportonity forall of us to really Took at art in anew way. T mean, i you think about i s0 much of arts about body awareness, or at leas gaze avarenes..20faclty members if ay Of this sappicable o your cast work.doa"t make it S source of rest oF anything, bu ther jus so much potential discusion surounding these ues {afer a paws, peng ut) ‘Wow. It’s really snowing out there. (she sts nercush)BODY AWARENESS gues that's it I's Mondas! We've got five very event ful days ahead of us. I'm, ah... really excited about this (Blackout on PHULLS.) GovcE and PHVLLS's kitchen. JOVCE and JARED sit atthe table. JARED wear his McDonald's uniform. After ‘along silence} JOYCE. We're fine with you masturbating, Jared. (QARED doe not respond.) JOYCE. This is not about the Fact that you masturbate. (another silence) ‘The thing is..you can't rack up those charges, We see them on the bill JARED. Olay, JOYCE. You're free to use che internet, or purchase what ever yourself (another aenard pase) We just can't afford the Pay-Per-View, JARED. This is really gross, JONCE. What's gros? ‘YaRED. Talking about this {JOYCE Yeah, well, I chink women with no body bait? F think thats gross ‘GARED is silen,) JOYCE. You know people don’t realy look like tha, right? will be extremely hard for you to find a real person. ‘who looks like that (DARED refuses to look other) {JOGE. Those women have had extensive plastic surgery and really painful hair waxing procedures. assume you know that we all have pubie hair fora reason. (along pause) Whatare you thinking about? {pane Why do you care? ore. Hove you...?T think you're fabulous..? “jana. OED stall. JOYCE Any specific word? “YaneD. I was thinking about the definition for “umbecile.” 5JovGE That sounds lke a fun one, (GARD gazes athe suspicious, then emtinues,) {JAKUD, Nowadays “imbecile” just means someone stupid. But it used to mean “physically weak.” It originally comes from the Latin for “without a supporting staf.” Jorce. Hoh, ‘JARED. What's weirs that tisimplies there wasatime when * physically weak" and “stupid” were synonymous. JOYCE. Yeah, Lavaid using the word “stupid” whenever pos sible, Its kind of judgmental, don't you think? (GARED abruptly stands up, takes a Book out of his Back ‘pack, and puts it dawn onthe table.) JOYCE. Wow. You read the whole thing? ‘Vane. Yes, Well I perused it yovce. And? "YARED. twas extremely welleritten. Jovce Ie a fast ead, sight? Jane. I don't really care about whether something is a “fast read.” {JORCE, No, Lust meant...Phylis says he’s an incredible psy- chologist. Like, renowned, (A pause) jorce sam. Do you think don't have i. JOVGE.... Okay. We don't need to jump to any conclusions right now. 1..Phyllis and J jast wanted you to think about it and then — ‘yaRUD. can tell you with 100 percent certainty that don’t have itis BODY AwanENESS JOYCE. That's great. That's great, (afer a pause) [just think chatifwe all wentand metwitha paychologist he or she could give usa more definite ~ Jann. AM NOT FUCKING RETARDED, {JOYCE Tone OF Voice ‘Fane. [am not fucking rerarded. jorce ‘TARED. Tk doesn’t mean you're Tdon'chave it retarded. I's. sodal — JJRED. They give that example. If an Asperger's penton walls in the front door and sees a loved one crying, they don't stop and ask What's Wrong? Joyce Uh hub. ‘YaRED. [ can say widh 100'percent certaingy that I would, stop and ask What's Wrong. JOYCE. Really? The las timé you saw me cxying you told me to stop and make you a shack JARED. You were ering fora stupid reason. JOYCE, I was crying because you threatened to stab me in the eye. JArap.[just...'uv obviously a relly smare person, JONCE It doesn't mean you're not smart. [just means you have trouble relating to people, TARED picks up hie backpack.) JARED. [have to go to work, JOYCE. [ love you. Hey. Don't forget. Our guest aris i coming tomorrow. So keep things neat. JARED. Is ita man? JOYCE I don't knots {ARED. [would prefer tharit mot be a man. JOYCE. I really don't have any control over that, sweet: heart (GARED walks out of he mom. After a fu seconds, he ‘vals Back in) JARED. Maybe you have Asperger's. Jorce Jared. "JARED. Because you've kind of an ‘JOYCE. I'm not an idiot, honey. JARED. You've never read “Crime and Punishment.” You're fiftpfive and you've never read “Crime and Punishment.” JOYCE. Have you ever read “Grime and Punishment? ‘QARED roars in frasiaton and takes an electric tooth: rach xt of his cet. He turns it on and starts pasting the toothbrush back and forth evn his hands, JO¥CE swatches him.) JO¥CE. If you're angry at me just say i. You don't have to ingult me. You can say I'm feeling realy angry right ‘now, Mom, {JaRED. I'm not angry. 'm surrounded by imbeciles. You don't even...jou don't even read the dictionary {JOXGE You're going to be late, (OARED ste and stare at hy, serthing with rag.) JARED. I could Kill you. Joyce Waring One. ‘Yarep.I could Kill Phys, Jovce. Warning Two, "JARED. I could garrote both of you in your sleep. ‘Jorce....Warning Three. Ifyou make one more physical ‘Hureat I will all the police. Wane. Ihave First Amendment Rights, JovcE You are not allowed to physically threaten people ‘and you know that. JARED. First Amendment says I can physically threaten people. JOYCE. No it doesn't JARED. Yes it does JOYCE. No. It doesn't, JARED. BABBLING CRETIN!(Goce: clases onto the table and buries har face in fer rms I ela thther ats’ ying ARED stands thread satchs her for hile He tors off ete) {JARED. won Kill 08, (Stee) ane, Ia joking (Since) Jane, What's wrong? (Govce does not spond) JARED. See? Lashed. (acho) (QOVCE and PHYLLIS's bedroom. JOYCE and PHYLUS Sup i ed tg i y the Bde lam. PEELS fs ruading the Asprer’hook JOVCE slipping hero tal nd depsiting them onthe nightstand JO¥GE. There's his weird rudal ver my toenails PERLE. (na lckng up fom hr oak) Wht colori? JO"CE. Grayish? Pars Ew, (After a pus, RELI puts down the oc.) PHVLLS.If he does think he hast how does he explain the fic that he al ves with his mother? JO"GE. There are lot of culties where children ive with their parents chrough adulthood. iILis. And rick up porn bili? JOWCE. Amesica is very strange. We're 0 focused on inde- ‘pendence. 1 ike, you eat need anybods. You have tbe this oealyauconomous..rsm. PHYLLIS. Hey. Speaking of other cultures I finally met the Palestinian Dance Troupe kids. JOvCE Oh! Cute! PHYLUS. They were amazing, They've been living in these BODY AWARENESS as refugee camps since they were babies? And they were fal JOYCE. Wait, I don't get it. How do they relate to Body Awareness? ‘EIVLLIS. Well. They're a dance toupe. For one thing. Jorce. Hub. PHYLLIS. And they're very political. {JOYCE Right. (GO¥CE goes back to clipping her tena.) PHYLLIS. Hey, My eye is twitching, Can you tll? (doves looks athe) JorcE. Where? PHYLLIS Left one. {JOXCE Nope. PHYLLIS. can fel it, um...jt’ sort of pulsing? Jost lke this title palsing ~ Jove. I don't see anything. (GARED yes fom ofstage:) Hi. (0.S)I CAN IEAR YOU GUYS TALKING AND I'M ‘ATTEMPTING TO FALL ASLEEP! (rem13s and JOYCE lok teach othe, amused) JARED. (0.S) [HAVE TO GET UP AT SIX INTHE MORN- ING! ONCE. (caling out) Okay, okay, we hear you! ‘WARED. (O.S.) ACTUALLY HAVE A JOB! [PHYLLIS (ling back goed natures) We have jobs too! “Jane. (0.S.) IN ACADEMIA! PHYLLIS. (laughing) YOUR MOTHER'S JOB DOES NOT ‘COUNT AS ACADEMIA! (PHYLLIS grins a2 JOYCE, JOYCE stares at her fora few ssconds, then:) {JOYCE What do you mean, it doesn't count as academia? ‘PHYLLIS. A high school teacher is not an academic.JOYCE Why not? PHYLLIS. An academic has a PRD. JOYCE Who says? -PHYILIS. Un. It's common knowledge? JOYCE I've never heard that before. PHYLUS. Joyce. A public school teacher isnot an academic. ‘An academic publishes articles. An academic — JOYCE. You are such 2 snob. PHYLLIS. What? No. I'm the appasteof a snob, How am Ta snob? JARED. (0.S.) WILL BOTH OF YOU KINDLY CEASE ‘SPEAKING! (PHYLLIS and JOVCE fll silent, After @ short passe, ‘the buzing sound ofthe alae tothbrush heard fom afitage.) ‘PHYLLIS. softh) Oh please, He's not sleeping. He's sticking ‘his toothbrush up his is. Joyce Phil . PELs. What? JOYCE. He likes rubbing it against his gums. He finds it soothing (PHYLLIS lds up the Asperger’ book) Prvitss. Did you read the part where it says that they get really dependant on certain objects and vituah? JOYCE. Yeah PHYLLB. Also they have an unbelievably sensitive sense of smell, Total Jared. (after « pause) Tean’t get over the fact that you never made him see a therapist. JOYCE. He refuses 10 go. "PHYLLIS. Yeah, but with certain kids you just have insise / JOYCE. (defensive) For a while it seemed like he was gonna be Eine (PHL sighs.) JOXGE Fora wile it seemed that way! varius Tm gonna tur off the Bight. Jover. He had friends in elementary school. This litle clique of boy? (PHYLLIS races oer and toms of the lamp. They rey vide the moons. After a pause, quiet ut of be darko) Jovee, He was avery cy bay Pins. Ok, okay. (pause) JO¥GE. Will you spoon me? PINUS. Mmm. (The sound of shes rasing. The stint cme ‘ike peso. feo seams) JOYCE. God, I can't top thinking about this gi in my B period cass Loreen? I told you about er, avis. realy tired, sweetheart. JO¥CE She's so makeup. I don’t know. I's weird. There's something really nervous and sexnalzed about er. NLS. Manin, Joven I think maybe she was molested, {INLLS. You think everyone wat molested oYce, Well, 1 out of 4 women — PHVILIS. Yeab, but you think EVERYONE was molested, JORGE That's not tue, EYL You thought Twas molested, When you met me, JOYCE. Well you seemed hind of. molested, (cher amg pose) Wil you do again? ‘PuvLs. Oh my god. T's tired. (here rusting nderneath Be coves) igher1s BODY AWARENESS (tara pause) ‘Yeah. There. PHYLLIS. Ok. JOYCE Is that weird? ‘PEYLLIS Yeah, Joyce. JOYCE Is that thigh? Oris ic crotch? (aera long silence) Is itweied for someone to put their— PHYLLIS. I's weird. JOYCE. It could have been nothing. PHYLLIS. I's weird, honey. JOYCE. He could have jus. (GOvCe rail of) PHYLLIS. Your father was definitly a bastard, Can we go to sleep? . JOYCE Yeah. Yeah. Son. (The too women shift aud in Bad and embrace each other Sle, marning ight cones through the windacs) (PHWTLIS gis up cu of band walks ovr othe Blackboard ‘She rites “Tuesday” othe Board, then ns to the audience ‘and speaks into mierphone,) PHYLUS. I’ an honor just t stand here and introduce the next performers. They've flown across oceans, and, um, continents to perform for us, and they're an. unbelievably strong, brave group of children. People. ‘They came together in a refugee camp in Palestine, where, well..the word that comes to my mind is “hopelessness "Ina place of hopelessness they formed ‘2 community, and they created this work of dance... its prety mind blowing, So without furcher ado — (he hastates) Oh. Sorry. One more thing. usta nomenclanre issue ‘This week, um, February 20th to the 27th, is, off- ially, National Eating Disorder Awareness Week. But BODY AWARENESS » ‘wanted to reiterate that here at Shirley State College “we've chosen to call it Body Awareness Week. There's still gonna be the roundtable discussion on eating disorders, butwe fel it's important to take amore pos- itive tack and make the whole thing about the larger issue of Seif Image in general. And this way we get to see incredible groups like Idbaal perform! So just a reminder, is not Eating Disorder Awareness Week at Shirley State, i's Body Awareness Week. If we could com rect the mistake on any posters or publicity materials, that would he great. Oka. Prepare to be...very moved. Ya like to welcome label! (She steps aside, Pounding Palestinian muse starts ‘Hoying, Blackont.) (QOVGE and PHYLLIS's hitches, RANK BONETATIBUS ‘ands inthe mide of the kitchen, playing the reorie JOYCE i siting atthe table and watching him, tery ‘onchanted. He niches, lowes the recorder and sis at hex After a pouse:) JOYCE. Oh. My. God. FRANK You enjoyed it JOYCE That was oterwurldy, FRANK Mina. (They grin at each ether Jor a while. Finally Ove ‘Shakes he head, if to clear her thoughts.) {JOYGET should stat making dinner. QOVCE gets up from the table and start gating meget es of he ridge. FRANK tails hr around the chen tthile she pepans the meal. He continually munches fiom a bol of baby carson the ktchen table.) [RANK So you teach high school? JOYCE Yop, FRANK What do you teach? Jor. Cultural Suuies. [HRANK Is that like Socal Smads?JONCE It’s a litte different. FRANK. How? JOYCE. Um, well, we sore of take more of an anchropologi- ‘al perspective? (She stars custing up the vegetables, PRANK. prs at sare ofthe pcre om the eigen) FRANK. How long have you and your girftiend been to- gether? {Jovce. Three years, RANE, Wort, Great Jovce Iris great FRANK. Do you call her that? Your gltiend? Is ic okay? To call her that? JOrcE. Um, well, some people — [FRANK Do you prefer “parines” or something? JOYCE Oh. I don't know. Well, aenally,/yes.E~ FRANK “Parmer” sounds so DIPPY, though. You know what Tmean? sover. Um ~ RANK. Have you always been.. (PRANK makes a vague geste) {JOVCE. Uh. No, Ihave a'son. You'll meet him. Yeah. Twas ‘married, To a man, Years ago. Phyllis was actualy my fist, um, female partes. ‘FRANK: What about her? JOYCE. Oh, Phys. Yeah. Phyllis knew she was gay when she ‘was in Kindergarten. RANE Three years tngether. Huh. (aftera pause) You really feel like you know each other after three yeas. govce nods) Bur then one day the person says something really ‘weird and you're like: DO Tacnally know you? Or are ‘von this total strangex? BODY AWARENESS a (G0xCe dren spond. She fines chopping eegeabes and tarts puting hem ino ot on thes) [RANE Anyway. {JOVCE. re ou ina eationship? "UNE No, 'm actualy incredibly happy to be sigle. Just taking sock of things. (gover nod.) ‘You live here, That's so strange. ovce nas again) *Shisiey Vermont” This a weird town, over. small "RANK Yeah, Smal and weird GOVCE stare tiring and seasoning.) Isexeryne really Are people ike, don't say “black person,” sy “person of color? JOVCE. Oh, Well I don't know. I /think ~ "PRANK Don't say “retarded” say “mentally disabled”? Jovce. Actally— {FRANK Pople im towns like this always seem 10 find my ‘work threatening. JOYCE. But your picture are so moving! "FRANK. It’s ike you're not allowed todo anything involving naked women anymore. Ia woman is naked, you'e 2 misogynist. JOXCE. Bt you have so many ier of women ~ RANE know — JOXGE.— that one photo of the old lady? With dhe mastec: axe Yeah, JOYCE. Iwas gorgeous, The way she vas smiling? (The using sound of RED’ trash shard frm affitog) ‘RANK. Do you hear that? JONGE My son must be home.[RANK Yeah, but what's thar sound? Govee hesitates.) JOYCE. Um. You should probably know. Jared is kind of. special (RAN Lots athe) PRANK Special meaning wha? JOXGE. Um. I think he bas something called Asperger's? Td like him to see a dherapist about it He refuses to, oat~ ‘FRANK. I've heard of that. It ike lack of empathy, right? JONCE. There are less negative ways to put it. FRANK No, Fjuse— JOVCE. There's this thing called Theory of Min« ability co know that other people don’t know what ‘we're thinking...chat we each have these independent ‘mental states? People yith Aspherger’s have a hard (GARED enters the tcho, sucking on his othirus.) JARED. The whole house smells like meatloaf, [JOYCE No one’s making meatloaf, ‘YARED. Tse like meatloae {JOYCE Jared. This is Frank Bonitatbus, (FRANK extends is and. JARED lifts his hand up ina inp salute, but doesnt ouch FRANK. After a scond, he ‘urns af the tootibrs.) {YaRED. I don't have Asperger's {JOYCE You were eavesdropping. JANED. Stop telling everyone I'm retarded. JOYCE I never sid you were retarded. JARED. (10 FRANK) She made me take classes with the retarded kids in high school. JOYCE I made you take one Organizational Skills cas, {IARED. (o FRANK) I'm Incredibly smart — FRANK, (naroousy) Of course = JsRED.— and she made me take this class with the Special a kd, This one guy kept going Hike this (he bbe isha back and fr) “You owe me three dolla, You owe me three dolah™ (OARED stars laughing) JO1GE. Olay. Enough. [PRANK Ave you a stident at Shitley State? JARED. College is stupid, Buncha frat girls and guys having sex with each other FRANK, That's not what my college experience was like. “JARED. People do drugs and go 10 parties. [HRANK Where is he getting this stuif? JOYCE I don't know. I told him how much I loved Bram- eis, JARED. It does seally matter anyway. 'm an autodidact, FRANK. Oh yeah? {WRED.Do you know what that means? FRANK I think so. JARED. It comes from the Greek. RANK You know Greek? JARED. 1 know etymology FRANK. What's that? JAR. Hla, (oyoxce) He doesn't knov what esymology means. JOYCE. I's a big word, Jared. ‘RANK. Wit. think I know what it means, The beginning of things? /The — Jaap. WRONG. JOYCE Why don't you tell him? FRANK. I don't need him to tell me. JARED. The origins and histories of words FRANK Sure, OF course.a BODY AWARENESS JaRED. 1s my strength I's proof that F'n nota retard. JOVCE Please sop saying etard. FRANK: (ARE) You ever seen “Rain Man”? JHsED.No. ‘FRANK, Dustin Hofman is chis retarded guy, but he's ike a ‘genius cern subjects. He's alway freaking out and doing these lite fappy — JOvCR. (geting ypst) That autism, F think you're talking bout autism. Jared has Asperger’. Ie on the sum spectrum, butt’ actually much milder = |p. DON'T HAVE TT, FUCKING SHIT! (FRANK lots a JOVCE, extn her to oy somthing JOWCE ga back oan he 0.) FRANK (lo JARED) Uh..iF you don't go to college what do you do? JARED. Lot of things: Vm a‘anodidace JOVGE I think he means were do you work JARED. I work at McDonald’ FRANK Oh, hey, good, great. Hard-workin’ man! ane. Everyone there is an idiot ane I'm sure that's not te. JAMNED. I smells lke meatioafin here. Also tke gives That ‘luc and ger smell (TOVCE ign him. JARED lakes 0 walume of the OED ff of te bok sits dou at th chen tbl, and rts reading it) FRANK This isan interesting amily. JOVGE Mim, We're very open. (exis ents rough te Baca) JONGE Phill This is our guest aris! PRVLLIS, Hey! Ob great! Pm Phyllis 'm one ofthe, ah, ‘many organizes (The shake hand.) BODY AWARENESS % ‘RANK. Prank Bonitatibus, I's incredibly generous of you oletme— ‘umiuis. Ob, no! Please. Thank jou, (PHYLLIS beams happily at him, then walks over to JOVGE and bias hen) PHYLLIS. Hey, ladybug. [FRANK (insrtng himself back nto the convesation) 1's jast s0 nice to stay in an acmaal House Usually 1 just end up Sting alone ina hotel room and drinking beer. ‘PHYLLIS. We don't drinkin thi house, ‘maxi No, that's fine, that's not /what— JARED. (looking up frm his boa) Yes we do. We drink milk “We drink water. PHYLLIS. I mean alcohol, Jared, “JARED, We drink Cranberry Raspberry Cocktail TFRANK. (nervous) Sounds fin, sounds fine. JARED. We drink our own urine. (ahoribe pouse) Jost kidding, RANK. Great, {ARED. Twas being ironic (to RANE) ‘The book said people with Asperger’ don’t know how tobe ironic. avis. What's your medium, Frank? FRANK I'm a photographer. PHYLLIS. Oh! Wonderful! I've just heen working with the ‘performance artists, 0 — |WnED,Do you make daguerreotypes? RANK. Ah, No, {WanED. Do you know what a daguerreotype i? FRANK Yes. JARED. Do you know the etymology of daguerreotype?man No. I= JOYCE. (Pint ignoring JARED) Tell Phlis about your hotograpts (ovmss) 1 saw them this afternoon. They're amazing. UNE. Ub, Well. ake pioures of women. JOWCE (gigging) Naked women. (ea Loks af JONCE, cose) avis. im soery—? {JOVGE. They'e acuuly incredibly moving You have to see it Breryone was /just~ PAVLLS joing JOC, to RANK) Wat, why? Why do you take plezures of raked women? Rant Why does anyine take pichies of anything? JovCE Explain ither ley actually wonderful (wemms) He goes around ~ mane. I go around the country. don't pay anyone. Women volunter to pote for me. I's away fr them to, ub, rela dis own body image. ENALIS. Why don’t men pose for yo JOYCE Is not jus, ke, model pes. He takes pictures of old women, lite gis avis Excuse me? LANE. With parental permision. (Apawe) JARED. The word “daguerreotype” actualy comes frm the French inventor of the daguerreotype himsele. Louis Daguerre. PAVLLS. Sorry. [just — JOVCR Phyliss very sei. PAHs. Ui, Tdon' think Pm hat sensive, Joyce You've ‘he one whos, ke, the language police, (A exerd ous) JOVCR You know, Sally Humphries loves his stuf. She's realy crazy about i avis Ub hah, JONCE (tomRANK) Phyllis was onthe search commie that, "brought Sally Humphrier into the pechology depart rent It vas auch a whitemale-dominated Hite boys club, and Salis this like fabulous fry Atcar-Amer- {ean woman, She's actualy part NailweAmerican, 00, Toit. RANK Ob yeah? Jovee, and she's jus fabulous, (A defeated pout) PHYLLIS. (0 RANK) How do you know it isn't jus exhib tionin? Or exploitative? RANE Kes nether PIYLLIS. Hove do you know? [RANE Because I'm not exploiting them, and they don't ‘do it for exhibitionist reaons. PHYLLIS, (yng to sound light hearted) Well, Y'm not posing for you sant Don't worry, honey. I'm not asking. aus. Did you just calle "honey"? JARED. (Lokng up from the OED) refuse to get naked in ‘font of yon. PHYLLIS. Frank wouldn't be interested anyway, Jared, because you're a man, yn I don't want anyone to see me naked. Even if geta ‘fiend I don't want her to look at me (DARED ges back orang) orcs, (fer an ad pose) Okay Le’ eat! Time this (reat winter soup, JARED. It smells ke mealoat JOYCE, Please ty tobe polite. We havea guest. (Every st dun a theta.) JOYCE (to JARED) Can you put chat away?(GARED puts the OED walume om his chair ad sits on it He's percha about fe inches higher than everyone ele JOYCE adler out soup.) [RANK Sorry. Do you all say grace? PHYLLIS. We're not religious. JOYCE. I'm actually Jewish. Well. 'm halfJewish. Phyllis / FRANK Fantastic. That's so great JOYCE. But I'm not observant FRANK. No, that's wonderfull Jews are wonderful. My par ‘nis are Greek. JOYCE Very nice! RANK. ..But I personally take a sort of non-religious Bude ing near the water. She sti she lived nearby. She was ice. I tld her the root of “pond,” that it comes fom, the archaic Old English “pound,” and she laughed and ssid Iwas funny, and then [just showed itto her foe like a second. Ir was literally for lke a second, (a pause) Tas trying to be sex (Phe microwave dings. PHYLLIS opens it and reaches inside.) PINLLIS. Anyone vant a defrone bins? CARED and JOYCE Lt nod, nam PHYLA tks {2 thet, us thes on then and ts he lat one abe She gst fobs od end ho ‘amen and ONCE. Sh dom Be tie Thy al 1H lrg at he pets) JOVCE Did she sy anything? [Umm She sereamed and ten Iran into the water When 1 came ou she wat gone. 4J0YcE. A ight. Well After dinner we't putin a phone allan let someone now what happened. FEMLLES You want to mrs? 40¥Cx. This could be one of my sade PHL. Yea, but how do we kxow she's going to el oven Phys PIMILIS. She might be Kind of growed out but ot. you now? And even ifthe deste someone, howe bey gonna know is are? Janu, This dsinctve lass, PMs I don't know. Whe Iwas in grad school this ot ‘yon the subway expoucd inset o me and wan disgusting and 1 wat ely upees, but don't Snow it ieould warrant someone ike Jared getting in ke, Jegal trouble. * (Ape) ARE. 1's jot ere het? Tat would nd oe seay AMIE Well ofcourse it would be way. {URED Bot ifsomeone did hat ome. (Ag pte JR i hinkng) woul wan that person to. (asoxee) 1150 meh beuer if the penton admits to doing it "gh So then you don't hae to spend the reso os BE tinng aboutie. ‘A0YGs nods){JsRED. Alo I don't wat this to tur into a Raskin ‘ype sisson. Jouce What's dha? {AK Reskolikov? The main character in Dostoyeshy’s “Geime and Punishment”? GOCE: ks at hi Manly, JARED shakes his had cd sighs digs.) unis (qa Do you remember er name? |RED.L something. Lauren, JOWCE Loreen? {ARED. Maybe. (apaue) Tm going to jail vais. You are not going til Joe. um.. doa’ think Fan handle this. ane. (oJO¥CE Is olay. Whén I get outofjil' get ajob ‘atthe OED and you can come vst me in England. (ormras) You were right bout needing a degree. I researched iconlin. (GaKep bogin sat hie Bins JOVCE and PHELIS ‘Batch i lnc for hil) JOYCE. There's aright thing to doin this sisson, I jut have no idea what itis jovee aks mire RED haps eatng Afr long awe) VEL. Hey.’ Friday. ane. So? PHYLLIS 1s Shabhas (afer «passe Joe (GOxC slay fats wp) HLS. Why don’t you get out the candles and grape _ JO¥GE. Are you tying to make fun of me? ‘Vis. Not I'm serious. I think it would be nie, Please? (After a long pause JO¥CE skal gts up and gets out 4 candle and a bottle of grape juice. She pours thee less Shahi heights the cade) JONGE. I forget what 10 do, Jar. Yoo sing the prayer for wine. Jorce. On. Um. (Ste starts totais whspersinging and appro ing Hebe) Baruama adenoid, emo hey. (DARED stars laughing.) JARED. Adenoid? He did not say adenoid, JOVCR Well, I don't remember Sorry. What am I supposed tosay? FEMS. Um. Here. (aren. fishes "Women’s Boies, Women's Wisdom” ot of hr bg.) JO"CE Whats tha? HULLS. “Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom” T wanted to ‘use part of tin my speech today..but I, ah totaly fucked up. JOYCE Oh my god. ‘PHL. Yeah. JOYCE Your speech. 1.1 completely forgot. PENILE. It's okay. (apawe) Asa. I can have Asperger's and not be retarded, right? PrMILIs. OF course. (wyovce) ‘Read something outloud, Pretend ita prayer (She hands$O¥CE “Women’s Bates, Women’s Wisdom.” JONCE spens it)7” RoDY AWARENESS jowce. Un... PELs Anything OVER opens the bok toa random page and starts nating) JOY. “Some menopausal women complain ofraginal dry ‘es and thinning, which cise" ave, SOMETHING ELSE, Jorce. Otay, okay OvCE opens toa dfn page and tarts eading) JOWCK Ui. “Understanding the Boymind, Our entte com ceptof ‘the mind’ needs to he expanded considerably ‘The mind can no longer be dhought of at being on fined tothe brain orto the intellect tenets in very call of ur bodies” (Wit oe isang $A tle somthing out of is pct ls RANT cide JARED stars nat Bling int it ONCE tps ond oo in.) JOVCE Where did you get that? (amen continues yout nt) Jowce Is thar Frank’? GARED nods, still playing.) Jove Did you sali? (amen rey ifs his moh of th cadet speck) JARED. Fe took my oothbnash. (Gama gos Back to playing. He mass begins to fck th ns FngeBl” JOWCE. Oh my god, Jared. Whats wrong you? JARED. Tight have Asperger's JowCe. Thats not an excuse! PHYLLIS. Is nota big deal, Well just give i back o him He can't be too mad, anya Pen about to te him big check Joven. Way? [BODY AWARENESS a Pars Iwan copy JONCE.A copy of what? iNL8.1 want 2 copy of our exploitative nude photo- raph (OvCE ste ata.) avis What? JONG ajo "HNL. [thought me saying that would make you happy. (GOVE okie te mit cy agin rena acs (ver aes er ha) Pa38. Why don't you hep reading ONCE pits wp “Wms Beis, Women’s Wie” and continues reading out id During tis nex assy JARED puts dom the meer and tars er ‘renin waving his hans verte candle ome [PRANK appeon nthe dorony witha ea None ‘ei i) JO"CE. “Every thought we think as biocenicalequ- lent, Exery emotion ne feel has a blocheaeal ‘squalene. One of my colleagues ay, “The tnd the space between he cells’ S6 when be pan ofyoor Inind thats your ute alk o you, chroogh pa oF excesive bleeding are ou prepared to ten wit" RED. (ity, i wong his hand Yen GOxCE pts den the ok and ches her son wave 1s hands ov th cone Seis aly so Sa ae thd RANK crete fami for whe hn sty ls nis omer ond tats pte. The nding ash of he gh) End of play