Matt McDill

Period 5

Obamanui: The Cannibal President

President Obamanui was a pretty popular guy. He had charm and was very well spoken.
Although he didnt change anything for the better, he was still widely supported by various
communities. One day, a very gracious KIm Jong Un invited him to a feast, in attempts to create
a peace treaty. The President Obamanui, although suspicious, went out of obligation and
curiosity. He hopped on his private jet and was flown down to North Korea, where he was
welcomed like a lowly king in Kims Godly presence.
They sat and spent the day talking of a peace treaty between the two nations. After
much negotiation, they agreed on a suitable treaty. President Obamanui and Kim Jong Un spent
the day laughing and joking about how their people were free. Ha ha ha.
Some time later, the two leaders were brought a feast of the finest pork as well as fruits
and vegetables. Ravenous from the days negotiations, Obamanui chowed down on what he
thought was pork. After his third serving, he knew this was not pork. No pork he ever had had
been so well made to taste so good. After some questions and Kims continuous skirting of said
questions, Obamanui knew that the pork he just ate was human, but it was too good to deny.
Obamanui went to bed that night in deep sleep, the powers of human flesh
strengthening him. He woke refreshed and feeling better than ever. He subtly suggested to his
new best friend Kim that they should discuss treaties more often, and that his cook was very
proficient at cooking pork. He walked onto his jet to be flown back to the United States, already
missing the taste of humans.
Kim called Obamanui up on his cell only a few days later saying that there were things
he wanted to discuss about the treaty. Obamanui jumped at the chance for more human flesh
and told Kim hed be over in just a minute. Sixty seconds passed and Obamanui knocked on
Kims door saying that he was ready to talk, and maybe one of Kims servants should bring
something to eat while they speak. Kim agreed and an hour later they were presented with a
fine lunch of human flesh. Obamanui ate hungerly and Kim sat quietly in a Godly sort of way
watching.
The day went by and after a long dinner of human, Obamanui was content. He flew
home the next morning, giving Kim a goodbye and thanks. Little did he know, Koreans began to
notice their missing friends. After a few more visits from Obamanui and a few more missing
people, suspicion began to spread.
Kim kept inviting Obamanui over for grand sporting events and other entertainments,
and a feast would always take place afterward, where Obamanui would eat more and more
human flesh. Korean people began to unrest and news spread across the globe, where US
citizens became angry and disgusted. One of Obamanuis advisors, vice president Joe Biden
told Obamanui that if he continued to dine with Kim and eat more people, then he would be

voted out of office. Obamanui took Joes advice and stopped going to North Korea to hang out
with Kim Jong Un.
Weeks passed and Obamanuis craving grew for human flesh. He invited the secretary
of defense and his family for dinner with a master plan. The secretary accepted and soon they
were dining together. O 9, bamanui had arranged for the secretary of defense to need to go on
important business, and it all worked out as planned. The secretary left, leaving Obamanui, the
secretarys wife, and their two kids.
The secretary of defense did his business and went home to find no one. He called his
wife with no answer. He drove to the presidents and saw the presidents disturbing look of
contentment. He knew that his wife and kids were dead at the hands of Obamanui and in a fit of
powerful rage, overtook the guards and took one of their machine guns. Defenseless,
Obamanui laughed maniacally as he looked into the barrel of his death.
The secretary of defense pulled and held the trigger, killing Obamanui instantly. He had
saved the US from a president who was quickly becoming a homicidal maniac who would have
steered the nation into chaos.