Trapped in the Jungle of Kunona

By: Lance Shepherd

Name?
Timmuner, Im here for the scenic tour over the jungle, I signed up earlier.
Step aboard sir, This lift overlooks the jungle of Kunona. Parts of it even lower down into the
jungle itself.
The lift was amazing. The vast Jungle below with all of its animals made me want to do some more
research while I was up here. I took out my notebook and pen, and started to write down some of the
creatures I saw from above. There were some brown monkeys fighting over a banana. Then I felt the lift
start to lower down into a clearing in the jungle. From here I could see many red spotted snakes, large
blue and yellow birds, and many green tree geckos.
The scientists back at the lab would love to see this, I thought.
So far this vacation was very successful, Ive been to a foreign restaurant, seen a museum of artifacts
from the jungle, and best of all didnt have any stress over work. Sure Im taking notes, but it didnt
matter. These animals and plants were much more interesting to study. More Importantly however, the lift
was coming to a stop.
Maybe this was programed into the lift so visitors could see more.
Then, the lift dropped.
8 hours later
Raindrops splattered on my face startling me. I looked around and realized I had landed in a
large bush. A river was flowing not far from me. I attempted to stand up and walk around, but I felt a
sharp jabbing pain in my legs. I hadnt fallen far, but the pain in my leg was unbearable.
The rain continued to trickle down on my face from the leaves above. A monkey was in the tree above
me eating a banana. Looking at the banana I realized i hadnt eaten in awhile. I looked at my wound to
see just how bad it was. There weren't any open wounds but my leg was badly bruised from the fall and
could potentially be broken. Regardless, I needed food, so I started climbing the tree. I came back down
with a banana and started to eat. I then looked around the wreckage to see if I could find my travel pack.
If I could find my travel pack I would at least have some access to granola bars and the water bottles I had
brought with me. Scouring the wreckage I saw a tan strap sticking out of the ground. I moved the pieces
of metal and wood out of the way and opened the bag. The granola bars were smashed, and four out of the
five bottles were broken. The last one had a cut in it and half of its contents had drained out. My can of
soda had exploded making the rest of the contents sticky. Finally, I found my thermos.
Lets see, I have food, I can boil the water in the nearby river, now I just need shelter.
I reached into the bag again and pulled out my pocketknife and a few pens that had survived. The
wreckage was mostly wood, metal, and a few steel cables. I pulled my notebook out of my pocket and
started sketching ideas for a simple shelter using what I had.
There wont be enough metal for a full shelter, so it will mainly be wood. Ill have to use the
metal to build a solid frame. That should be strong enough to withstand weaker tropical storms. Maybe
ill build it in an open area? No, a hillside would be better, especially if I can find a medium sized
overhang. Now what should I do with this steel cord that had fallen? Eh, Ill set it aside for now. I

climbed up a small tree to get a better view around me. There didnt seem to be any hills or clearings on
this side of the river, but on the other side there was a small clearing by an overhang. It was a moderately
sized overhang, making it the perfect spot, except for the fact my materials were on this side. I climbed
down and stood by the river. About two kilometers away the river started dropping into a great waterfall.
There were a few stones I could use to get across the river. I stepped on one to get a feel for it, but it
started wobbling. In the middle of the river was an small island, with a large tree. Three of the branches
were sturdy and perfectly aligned across the river. I pulled out my notebook again.
If I could get enough vines I could make sturdy rope. Then I could find a small piece of metal
and shape it into a hook. I could then tie the vines around one end and swing across the river. I went to
work immediately.
It was night now, the river was still roaring. I took out my grappling hook and threw the hook into
a sturdy branch, Then I gave it a pull. It fell right out. After five more attempts I finally had a solid hit. I
backed up as far as i could and gave it a running jump. It went perfect. I flew through the air across the
river, landed on the other side, and tied it to a branch so I didnt lose it. I gathered more vines and
processed them into ropes. Then I swung back to find an average sized wooden platform, shape metal into
five eyelets, and stuck one eyelet in each corner. I tied knots around the rims and made them meet at the
top with the fifth eyelet. I climbed my grappling hook up the tree and set the steel cable on the aligned
branches. I hung my platform up and gave it a shove.
It Worked!
The platform glided across the cable over the river with ease. Trip by trip, over three days I loaded up my
supplies and built a small shack in the overhang and a cooking pit in the clearing, which doubled as a
signal for help.
I awoke with a spear pointed at my head. A man was in front of me wearing a mask painted dark
green with vines sticking out of it for hair. The man clearly was not passing by for peaceful reasons.
Seeing as I had nothing but a pocket knife I surrendered. He took my knife, and in a language I didnt
understand, he told me to walk. I was taken into a cave within their camp They threw me in, and sealed
the entrance using thick wood.
It was my sixth night here now, soon to be my seventh day. They worship a strange god named
Altenruane. I cant understand them, but judging by my living conditions, and the fact that they are
religious, Im not just a prisoner, Im a sacrifice. Im the only one here. This prison is impenetrable from
the inside. The door opened
Its time a man said.
I stood at the top of the waterfall now. The water below was raging. They tied me to a log, and
chanted. One of the men stepped forward and kicked the log into the river. I was about a hundred meters
from the ledge. I heard a rustling in a bush. A dart flew out of the woods and hits one of the natives in the
head, paralyzing him. Two more darts, two more natives down. A man jumped out of the woods, rushed
towards the river and threw a knife to cut the rope tieing me to the log. He grabbed my hand, pulled me
up, gave me my knife, and told me to run. I didnt object.
Arrows and spears flew through the air behind me as I jumped over roots and dodged trees to get
back to my campsite. Not far behind me my savior kept shooting darts and arrows to make sure no one
would reach us. An arrow hit me in the leg causing me to trip over a stump. I stood up and ran for the
platform. I gave the cart a solid shove and hopped on, using a leftover panel as shielding. Above me I
heard helicopters. I jumped off, grabbed my pocket knife and frantically tried to light my fire pit. It then
started pouring. I ran toward the one of the tallest trees in a desperate attempt to climb it. About halfway

up I grabbed my grappling hook. from the nearby tree. The rain made it hard to keep my grip, and to top it
off I was being shot at. Another arrow grazed my shoulder leaving a scratch. I got to the top of the tree,
and signaled for the helicopter. A dart hit the back of my neck. The world was going dark and blurry, and
then, I fell to my certain death, my life flashing before my eyes.
Im dead, there is no way I survived that fall. I thought to myself.
An hour later I awoke inside the helicopter. The man who took who saved me took of his mask, and told
me his name was Betnend. He told me he lived in the jungle. He used to be part of the tribe I had found,
but he left when they started using sacrifices. He retreated into the Jungle to start his own tribe. He told
me he had been watching me since the day I had fallen, but didnt know how to act. He was intrigued by
the method I used to cross the river.
Most men wouldnt have even tried... he explained.
On the third day, he no longer perceived me as a threat, but when he got back to help me he realized I had
been captured. He had to wait till now to save me because there were too many natives around, and it
wasnt as urgent. When I was taken to the falls he made his move. Beforehand he had taken the knife
from the camp. We landed the helicopter as close as we could to a hospital, and I went in to get my
wounds treated. By some miracle, my leg wasnt broken, and by now it was barely bruised. Then, I got on
the plane because my vacation ended a week ago.
This is going to be a fun story to explain to my boss.
Unit 1 Embedded Assessment 1 Rubric

Scoring
Criteria
Ideas

22/30pts

Exemplary

Emerging

Incomplete

The narrative...

The narrative...

The narrative...

The narrative...

...creates a
complex, original
protagonist.
(10pts)

creates a
believable original
protagonist. (8pts)

...creates an
unoriginal or
undeveloped
protagonist. (6pts)

...lacks a
protagonist. (3pts)

...establishes a
clear point of view,
setting, and
conflict. (10pts)
...uses precise and
engaging details,
dialogue, imagery
and description.
(10pts)

Structure

Proficient

...engages and
orients the reader
with detailed

...establishes
point-of-view,
setting, and
conflict. (8pts)

...establishes a
weak point of view,
setting, or conflict.
(6pts)

...uses adequate
details, dialogue,
imagery, and
description. (8pts)

...uses inadequate
narrative
techniques. (6pts)

...orients the
reader with
adequate

...provides weak or
vague exposition.
(11pts)

...does not
establish point of
view, setting, or
conflict. (3pts)
...uses minimal
narrative
techniques. (3pts)

...lacks an
exposition. (8pts)

46/50pts

exposition. (15pts)

exposition. (13pts)

...sequences
events in the plot
effectively,
including a variety
of steps from the
Heros Journey
archetype. (15pts)

...sequences
events in the plot
logically, including
some steps of the
Heros Journey
archetype. (13pts)

...uses a variety of
transitional
strategies
effectively and
purposefully.
(10pts)

...uses transitional
words, phrases,
and clauses to link
events and signal
shifts. (8pts)
...provides a logical
resolution. (8pts)

...sequences events
unevenly, including
minimal or unclear
steps of the Heros
Journey archetype.
(11pts)
...uses inconsistent,
repetitive, or basic
transitional words,
phrases, and
clauses. (6pts)

...has minimal plot

with no apparent
connection to the
Heros Journey
archetype. (8pts)
...uses few or no
transitional
strategies. (3pts)
...lacks a resolution.
(3pts)

...provides a weak
or disconnected
resolution. (6pts)

...provides a
thoughtful
resolution. (10pts)
Use of
Language

18/20pts

...uses connotative
diction, vivid verbs,
figurative
language, and
sensory language
effectively. (10pts)
...demonstrates
command of the
conventions of
standard English
capitalization,
punctuation,
spelling, grammar,
and usage
(including
appropriate use of
a variety of
moods). (10pts)

Total: 86/100 pts

...uses adequate
connotative diction,
vivid verbs,
figurative
language, and
sensory language.
(8pts)
...demonstrates
adequate
command of the
conventions of
standard English
capitalization,
punctuation,
spelling, grammar,
and usage
(including
appropriate use of
moods). (8pts)

...uses weak or
unsophisticated
diction, verbs,
figurative language
and sensory
language. (6pts)
...demonstrates
partial or
inconsistent
command of the
conventions of
standard English
capitalization,
punctuation,
spelling, grammar,
and usage. (6pts)

...uses limited or
inappropriate
language. (3pts)
...lacks command
of the conventions
of standard English
capitalization,
punctuation,
spelling, grammar,
and usage;
frequent errors
obscure meaning.
(3pts)

Additional Comments: You created a good story, but never truly developed your hero in the end. I
thought your hero was Timmuner, but I was confused when Betnend saved him. I think we should
probably clear that up in the future.