Interpersonal Relationships

Dynamics of Christian Leadership

TABLE OF CONTENTS
Principles Regarding Interpersonal Relationships....................................... 2
Personality Styles............................................................................................. 3
D Personalities.............................................................................................. 4
I Personalities................................................................................................ 5
S Personalities.............................................................................................. 6
C Personalities.............................................................................................. 7
Getting Along with Others............................................................................... 8-9
Assignment....................................................................................................... 10

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Interpersonal Relationships

Dynamics of Christian Leadership

PRINCIPLES REGARDING INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

I.

WHAT ARE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS?

Interpersonal relationships are how you relate (react and respond) to other
people. You have some kind of interpersonal relationship with everyone you
contact

II.

WHY ARE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS IMPORTANT?

A. God made us to have relationships with others
B. We need others
C. Others need us

III.

WHAT KIND OF INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS DO YOU HAVE?

A. Acquaintancespeople you meet or see. You may or may not know their
name or very much about them
B. Friendspeople that you care about and you share a common interest with.
You know their name and a bit about them
C. Close Friendspeople you really care about. You know lots about them and
they know about you
D. Intimate Friendsthe closest people to you. You are committed to them. You
can speak about anything with them and they with you
NOTE: Your family members, co-workers, boss, etc. fall into one of the
above categories

IV.WHO SHOULD LOVE, UNDERSTAND AND ACCEPT YOU (AND OTHERS)?

A. God
1. He knows and understands you completely
2. He made you special (Psalm 139)
Physically, mentally, personality, ministry
B. Yourself
If you dont understand and control yourself, you may try to control all
those around you because you feel unsettled
V.

HOW CAN YOU UNDERSTAND YOURSELF (AND OTHERS)?

A. Discover (and value) your strengths
B. Realise (and work on) your weaknesses
C. Discover your personality style

20064 Child Evangelism Fellowship Childrens Ministries Institute

Interpersonal Relationships

Dynamics of Christian Leadership

PERSONALITY STYLES
There are four basic personality types, also known as temperaments. Your
personality affects the way you think, feel and act. To help you understand both
yourself and those around you better, we will look at four different personality types.
We can understand it better if we think four parts of a pie. Lets start with looking at
the pie in two parts and then combine them into four parts.
Some people
are:

Taskoriented

Peopleoriented

Some people
are:
Now we can put the four parts together. Remembereveryone is a unique blend of
all four parts but some areas stand out more than others. By assigning a letter to
each area it will help in remembering some of the key characteristics (D-I-S-C).
Keep in mind that although most people fall mainly into one of the four basic types,
each person is a mix of characteristics combining more than one personality type.
There are several names used for these, but they will be referred to here as D, I,
S and C (D-I-S-C).
OUTGOING

T
a
s
k

P
e
o
p
l
e

RESERVED

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Interpersonal Relationships

Dynamics of Christian Leadership

D PersonalitiesOutgoing/task-oriented
Characteristics

Strengths

Dominant

Gets quick results

Direct

Solves problems

Practical

Takes charge

Decisive

Accepts challenges

Independent

Confident in abilities

Determined

Self-reliant

Doers

Hard-working
Weaknesses

D personalities working with others

need to

Insensitive to others

Listen more

Impatient

Explain why

Takes on too much

Be patient

Proud

Be more flexible

Too demanding of others

Be less controlling

Resents restrictions

Be supportive of others

Way of Dealing with Others Feelings

Ideal Situation

Insensitive

Constant challenges/change

Sees life as a battle

Freedom to act

Approach to Teamwork

Approach to Leadership

Starts the action

Takes charge and oversees everything

Takes charge

Likes to be the 1 leader at the top

Moves out to reach a goal

Manages trouble quickly

When working with D personalities

Be prepared and organised
Let them make decisions when possible
Get right to the point
Provide continual challenges

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Interpersonal Relationships

Dynamics of Christian Leadership

Give the freedom to act

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Interpersonal Relationships

Dynamics of Christian Leadership

I PersonalitiesOutgoing/people-oriented
Characteristics

Strengths

Interested in people

Friendly

Inspirational

Outgoing

Optimistic

Communicates openly

Enthusiastic

Makes a good impression

Talkative

Enables people to participate

Persuasive

Motivates and persuades

Weaknesses

I personalities working with others

need to

Lack of follow through

Slow down

Jumps to conclusions

Focus on results

Undisciplined

Control emotions

Over-committed

Listen more

Acts impulsively

Follow through

Talks too much

Pay attention to facts and details

Way of Dealing with Others Feelings

Ideal Situation

Sensitive to others

New/exciting opportunities

Wants others to be happy

Freedom from control and detail

Approach to Teamwork

Approach to Leadership

Loves to work with others

Encourages open communication

Uses friends and networks well

Wants everyone to be happy

Wants to enjoy work together

Changes easily to suit others

When working with I personalities

Be prepared and organised
Give them opportunity to verbalise (talk)
Provide a friendly atmosphere
State details clearly more than once
Publicly recognise their abilities

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Interpersonal Relationships
Dynamics of Christian Leadership

Give positive reinforcement and praise

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Interpersonal Relationships

Dynamics of Christian Leadership

S PersonalitiesReserved/people-oriented
Characteristics

Strengths

Stable

Sincere and appreciative

Sensitive

Cooperative

Loyal

Agreeable

Submissive

Good listener

Soft-hearted

Dependable

Consistent
Weaknesses

S personalities working with others

need to

Resist change

Face confrontation

Indecisive

Be more direct

Overly lenient (allows too much)

Increase flexibility

Fearful of change

Be more decisive

Too possessive

Be less sensitive

Takes on too much (cant say no)

Increase the pace

Way of Dealing with Others Feelings

Ideal Situation

Very sensitive to others feelings

Opportunity to serve others

Avoids conflict and controversy

Friendly, peaceful, stable environment

Approach to Teamwork

Approach to Leadership

Waits to see the mood of others

Strives for peace and harmony

Ensures follow-through

Delegates daily decisions to others

Offers support and encouragement

Supports and encourages others

When working with S personalities

Express sincere appreciation
Approach them in a non-threatening but professional way
Communicate in a consistent manner on a regular basis
Avoid rushing
Develop friendship and trust

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Interpersonal Relationships
Dynamics of Christian Leadership

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Interpersonal Relationships

10

Dynamics of Christian Leadership

C PersonalitiesReserved/task-oriented
Characteristics

Strengths

Competent

Reliable and precise

Cautious

Disciplined

Thorough

Diplomatic with people

Compliant

Teachable

Analytical

Committed to quality

Correct

Logical and analytical

Weaknesses

C personalities working with others

need to

Critical

Be more open and flexible

Indecisive

Develop relationships

Perfectionism keeps from finishing

Respond more quickly

Pessimistic

Be less fact oriented

Hesitant to try new things

Look for the positives

Defensive if feeling threatened

Way of Dealing with Others Feelings

Ideal Situation

Can get frustrated with emotions

Clearly defined job with limited risk

Thinks through emotions logically

Organising systems

Approach to Teamwork

Approach to Leadership

Stays in the background

Wants all to follow the rules

Offers advice

Emphasises the right way to do it

Helps with steps, planning

Allows freedom if the job is done right

When working with C personalities

Communicate exact expectations
Give time to think and do things right
Answer as many questions as possible
Follow through on what you promise
Be practical and logical

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Interpersonal Relationships
Dynamics of Christian Leadership

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Interpersonal Relationships

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Dynamics of Christian Leadership

GETTING ALONG WITH OTHERS

I.

WHY DO YOU NEED TO GET ALONG WITH OTHERS?

A. God has called you to think about the needs and interests of others, not just
of yourself (Philippians 2:3-4)
1. Its not easy to think of others (Philippians 2:19-21)
2. It is possible to think of othersfollow Jesus example and ask God to
help you (Philippians 2:5-11)
B. God has placed you together with all the Christians in the Body of Christ
C. God has commanded you to reach out to the unsaved

II.

HOW CAN YOU GET ALONG WITH OTHERS?

A. Know your own personality and how you normally relate to others
B. Be willing to be flexible (adapt) to meet the needs of others
1. Identify the persons personality by observing how they respond and react
in different circumstances
D
I
S
C

2. Focus on the persons needs

D
I
S
C

3. Have a positive attitude about their personality

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Interpersonal Relationships
Dynamics of Christian Leadership

D
I
S
C

4. Think about how your personality may cause problems for them
D
I
S
C

5. Adapt (be flexible) to meet their needs

D
I
S
C

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Interpersonal Relationships

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Dynamics of Christian Leadership

INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS ASSIGNMENT

Name:
1. My main personality is:

2. My second most personality is:

3. My strengths are:

4. My weaknesses are:

5. In order to work well with others who are D personalities, I need to:

6. In order to work well with others who are I personalities, I need to:

7. In order to work well with others who are S personalities, I need to:

8. In order to work well with others who are C personalities, I need to:

20064 Child Evangelism Fellowship Childrens Ministries Institute