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in order to meet sanitary standards, diaries wash the cows udders with an antiseptic
bleach can be used and often is, but it is hard on the skin of the udder and bleach
breaks down into nasty stuff in the environment
so many diaries now use an iodine wash. some remains after the washing and that is in
the milk
if there are good sources of iodine in the diet, no problem
if not, then the thyroid can attempt to utilize this iodine, but it isn't the right stuff and
the thyroid malfunctions
lack of iodine in the diet used to result in goiter
the overgrowth of the thyroid
i saw people with goiter the first time i was in switzerland
where seafood and seaweed are not part of the usual diet
in the USA, iodine has been added to table salt for decades and goiter has been
eliminated
except that so many people are using sea salt, which is not rich in iodine and does not
have it added :)
also, many native people added seaweed or fish to the holes where they planted their
corn.
this made the corn iodine rich.
to recap, then.
the thyroid needs iodine and it seeks it. there are many kinds of iodine available
some are usable by the thyroid and those kinds are usually in food, like seaweed and
fish
some can be taken in by the thyroid but aren't good enuf and they can lead to thyroid
malfunction
these include radioactive iodine and iodine washes used in dairies (and some hospitals)
when ryan drum teaches about iodine, he has a bottle of the stuff.
he has us paint it on our arm.
if we need iodine, the stripe will dissappear
if we have enough, the color of the iodine will remain
it takes a while to disappear
doesn't happen in a minute
need to wait an hour or so to see
you cant hurt yourself by eating too much seaweed though
so it really doesn't matter if you need the iodine or not
but interesting
members of the cabbage family -- such as broccoli, cauliflower, kale, collards, and
mustard greens -- interfere with the thyroids ability to uptake iodine
eating these veges raw contributes to hypothyroidism, or a low functioning thyroid
eat those greens cooked is what i am saying
not raw, for the sake of your thyroid
cooked well, not just warm raw
cooked until not crunchy, not crisp
soft
Ryan warns against using seaweed in capsules or pills.
even powdered kelp is problematic
best to get it whole or in big pieces
the best results with fucus seem to be when it is brewed as an infusion
one ounce fucus in a quart jar, filled to the top with boiling water and steeped
overnight.
this is sipped throughout the day.
if it works, you have to keep drinking it, just like you had to take your meds
better to stay healthy!
my green book, Healing Wise, has an entire chapter on seaweed. with lots of recipes
we consider it a vegetable and do our best to eat it at least twice a month.
kelp is an exceptional source of calcium as well as iodine
interestingly, kelp is a great source of vitamins as well as minerals
most of the B vitamins, lots of carotenes to convert to A, some C, some K, and even
some vitamin E
Ryan says some kelps make melatonin at night and so he sometime harvests in the
dark!
Kelp is also the single best source of algin in our diets
algin binds to heavy metals and radioactive iosotopes and removes them from the body
in the feces
this is the main reason not to buy powdered or encapsulated seaweed
many times the stuff that is powdered has had the algin removed from it
algin is used as a binder and thickener in food processing as well as in drugs and
cosmetics. it is more valuable than the seaweed itself
only big commercial harvesters can do that. not the small people like Ryan or Maine
Coast
if you want powdered seaweed, both Ryan and Maine Coast will powder their seaweed
for you
I usually cook kelp into my beans
in chicken soup
in lentil soup
in my oatmeal (esp bullwhip kelp)
A local couple living in an older house found their young daughter had very high levels
of lead in her blood
older houses were usually painted with lead-based paints
i suggested they give her seaweed.
within three weeks her levels were normal
studies in japan find that even if the seaweed itself contains lead or other heavy metals,
it still draws it out of the body and the body does not absorb what is in the seaweed
ditto with radioactive stuff
if the seaweed contains radioactive particles, it can still reduce the amount of
radioactivity in the body and the body does not take in the radioactive stuff from the
seaweed
this is one of the reasons it is such an ally for those undergoing radiation treatments.
some authors scoff at the idea that "contaminated' seaweed could be healthy. Australia
has banned the sale of Japanese seaweed.
But the experts I consulted assure me it is true.
The one I trust the most says there is no more radioactivity in Japanese seaweed than in
anything
she reminds me that heavy isotopes and heavy metals are heavy
that means they sink
they do not spread
they are not taken up into the tissues of the seaweed
they drop to the ocean floor and stay there
and seaweeds, being plants with cholorophyll, grew near the surface, not down on the
bottom
be kind to your thyroid
eat more seaweed
avoid raw cabbage family plants
buy organic milk
green blessings are everywhere :-)
yes, the suggested regimen is laid out in detail in New Menopausal Years book.
I also cover hyperthyroidism
Angel speak
Posted by haw
they all but know as this is their home and their jobs
always ask an Angel to speak to you.
they will answer. guide and help you.
let yourself be an Angel let yourself fly
if only for a few minutes is all it may take
to set your soul free and in that a peace of mind..
Think of only peace and true Love and compassion
and one will be gifted with the same, continuing to soar
and set your being free.
listen to the Angels, speak the true question you seek
and by the Angels whispers you will find the answer will suddenly appear to you from
within..
Listen to the Angels speak, the words they whisper.
it is a rare gift to truly understand but once tried
will become easier to see and see beyond any troubles that come your way.
and whisper to yourself the same words the Angels speak.
Shadow
The Overmorrow
Posted by Ha-nu
Dawn breaks to a feeling of dystonia Rising wave of unsettle rocks his stomach
that forces a hasty rush to the bathroom resulting in severe case of crapulence
Leaning spent against the basin, the bed radio plays a song that tumbles over
mumbling monde green, while fumbling a nurdle of toothpaste on a brush. The brush
still momentarily, as thoughts of the night before replay like a song stuck in your head.
Flipping through fumbled memories, trying to place the order to the jumble. The way
aphthongs fell from her lips, the smell of the wood fire pizza shop.
How the slip of the thumb from the punt of the bottle, spilling the wine on the
tablecloth. The feel of the cornocione to the touch while holding it to her bright red
smiling lips.
She reaches to wipe barm from his lips, sensually sucking it from her finger. She
picked up the boxtent and sensually lick it, before placing it on the table, which woke
the feeling of colly wobbles in his stomach.
Memories bring a smile to his lips, while his fingers slide the belt through the keeper,
and vocable while fingers tie black lace up shoes.
The eyes dont even notice that the aglet, fell from the laces. Strong fingers pick up a
cup of joe, and he opens the window, noticing the smell of petrichor on the air.
The monotonous sound of the phone buttons fills the room, and the slip of the finger
on the octothorpe, brought a gentle whisper that brought a smile to his lips.
Leaning a hand on the muntin of the window, the memories of the night before, bring
promise that it will be repeated overmorrow. With a skip in his step he walks the desire
path on his way to work.
-----------------------------------Was lacking some inspiration so I ask to be inspired...... and wrote this silly creative
writing.
Sometimes its fun to just let the words flow.
Nutcrackers, who live in pine forests, are remarkable for the extent of their
dependence on cached stores of seeds. Permanent residents of forests, They do not
migrate but live through hard winters on their saved food. Called Nutcrackers, They
eat mainly hazel nuts and pine seeds. Members of the Crow Family save for the future.
They store food to help Them through hard times. Before beginning to eat, Corvids
will take the trouble to hide a large quantity of food. They carry the food in their
throats until They find a hole to hide the food in. Corvids memorize where they hid
their food and return to their stores when They need to. We can learn from the Crow
Family how to refrain from consuming everything in sight. Learn the discipline to save
some for the future when lean times arrive. If we have discipline and fortitude like the
Crow Family, our hidden stores will be there for us during hard times.
Crow Familys Teachings Include:
Crows have a strong sense of loyalty and have the ability to turn thoughts into reality.
Taking time to look within and gain inner strength helps make those important
decisions without hesitation. Crows may have the appearance of not having courage
and strength, but discerns quite well situations that may be dangerous. Crows often
have difficulty in making choices, however, when those choices are made they act with
vigilance. Copyright: Unknown. The Raven and Crow are always good signs, but
they have distinct, often multiple messages and meanings. Both birds are good-luck
signs of protection and messengers of wealth. Copyright: Spirits of the Earth,
Bobby Lake-Thom.
Crow Familys Wisdom Includes:
Exploring Something New
Coming Alive
Moving with the Flow of Life
Resourcefulness
Intelligence
Watchfulness
Spiritual Strength
Assertiveness
Look for Opportunities Coming Up
Joy
Laughter
Being Witty
Being Curious
Spirit of Mischief
Being Outgoing and Social
Fearless
Using Noise For Good
Courage and honor endure forever. Their echoes remain when the
mountains have crumbled to dust. Pledge friendship and fealty to those
who so warrant. Strengthen others of the Brethren and they shall
strengthen thee.
Thou shall not reveal secrets of another Witch or another coven.
Others have labored long and hard for them and cherish them as
treasures. Though there may be differences between those of the Old
Ways, those who are once-born must see nothing,and must hear nothing.
Those who follow the mysteries should be above reproach in the eyes of
the world. The laws of the land should be obeyed whenever possible and
within reason, for in the main they have been chosen with wisdom.
Have pride in thyself, and seek perfection in body and in mind. For
the Lady has said, "How can thou honor another unless thou give honor
to thyself first?" Those who seek the mysteries should consider
themselves as select of the Gods, for it is they who lead the race of
humans to the highest of thrones and beyond the very stars.
The+True+Self+Is+Love
The end of the false self spells the end of fear, and the desperate need for power that
fearful people cannot help. Power is a form of self-protection, and when fear is gone,
there is no need for protection.
The true self is love, and being able to love all the time is the most one could want. The
clash between love and power then has no meaning. As Tagore so decisively wrote,
Love is not a mere impulse; it must contain truth, which is law.
How hard we try to protect ourselves from being hurt emotionally, not realizing the
intensity of life we have walled out in the process. It is necessary to defend the heart
when it is too weak and frightened to love, yet at some point all that can change. It
becomes possible to let love flow when and where it wants. You are able to welcome
others, without defenses, without fear, into the expanded space of your own being.
As my friend Chris says, I was driving down the highway looking for the exit when I
noticed an unusual sensation in my chest. It began as a warm or tingling feeling, which
I recognized from meditation. Generally the feeling is pleasant but temporary. Now it
began to intensify, and instead of physical warmth, wave after wave of emotion started
to sweep over me.
It was love, but much purer and more concentrated love than I had ever feltmy heart
was unfolding like a flowerI was having the most wonderful experience of my life.
I felt the tender affection of someone who has not torn down the walls of pain but
flown over them.
Adapted from Unconditional Life: Discovering the Power to Fulfill Your Dreams, by Deepak Chopra (A Bantam Book, 1991).
Fairy Honeycakes
Posted by Debs
WEDDINGS
The PERFECT DATES to MARRY - Ancient Rituals and
Superstitions
Posted by Whispr
MONDAY for wealth
TUESDAY for health
WEDNESDAY the best day of all
THURSDAY for crosses
FRIDAY for losses
SATURDAY no luck at all
THE DAYS/TIMES NOT TO MARRY:
* NEVER MARRY AFTER DARK - highly unlucky with a troubled marriage and early
death of children/parents
* NEVER MARRY ON EITHER OF YOUR BIRTHDAYS - Not a good start to a life of
happiness together
* NEVER EVER CHANGE THE DATE OF YOUR WEDDING CEREMONY - Marriage
is doomed to bad luck
* IF YOU HEAR A CAT SNEEZE THE DAY BEFORE THE WEDDING - Rethink if this
is what you really want to do
* NEVER CROSS RUNNING WATER ON THE DAY OF YOUR WEDDING - Highly
unlucky
DATES THAT ARE PERFECT TO BE MARRIED ON:
JANUARY: 2,3,11,19,21
FEBRUARY: 1,3,10,19,21
MARCH: 3,5,13,29,23
APRIL: 2,4,12,20,22
MAY: 2,3,12,30,23
JUNE: 1,3,11,19,21
JULY: 1,3,12,19,21,31
AUGUST: 2,11,18,20, 30
SEPTEMBER: 1,9,16,18,28
OCTOBER: 1,8,15,17,27,29
NOVEMBER: 5,11,13,22,25
DECEMBER: 1,8,10,19,23,29
http://www.associatedcontent.com
We are all born, spirit into body. We are blessed with the life on earth, the plane we
have chosen, all our emotions intact, we are human ~ but we were still spirit first.
As we grow we seem to forget we are, and will always be spiritual, as we are spirit first.
We begin to search externally for what is and has always, been within us.
We begin to believe we are lost, broken, alone, disconnected, and even doing something
wrong.
The world is not broken, and neither are we. We are in a perfect dance of what is meant
to be, all happening for a perfect reason, and in order to see this, one must have faith.
Faith that life is exactly what it should be, yet we must remember again, faith is not
found externally in another, our faith is found within each of us as we are all spirit first.
We are whole and complete, with our emotions intact. This life purpose, this journey is
found and experiences by being able to live each moment of your life (good or bad) with
all your human emotions in play, being able to be content in the life experiences you are
having.
To realize your life and your 'world' are already as they need to be and your goal is to
allow your mind to accept that contentment, seems to be a pretty tall order, but
remember, you are spirit first, perfect in every way, and by adding this human form ~
you enhanced your journey, you did not disconnect from it.
Dream Speak:
Posted by Roger M. Christian
Dream speak, or dream speaking is both the languages and story boards in which one
sees, hears - if thats possible during a dream - and imagine when one is in the final
stages of leaving the subconscious state to the cognitive stage of ones own dream. Thus
in my stories, I will use this form of literation, or language, if you will, to denote where
they have come from.
What this means:
the = te, thee, or thi;
franchise may be mispelled to eithee fanchise --- or --- fanrchise;
the words will look typos, and at time the spellings will elongated; IE.
themmmmmmmmmmmm.
There will switched meters in verse scattered, and the theme, or plot line will be mixed
with irrelevancies, and they will tend to be predillections as well. All in all they will all
constitute a form, nonethelss.
Mythical beings appear as well, and it they who offer assistance to combat anxieties and
demons, and it is here where mythologies were likewise born. Everything from little
bikini green girls to giant dragons who in my dream state really smells of odor I have
not yet identified-when I do you will be informed.
For me, and interesting enough professionals with the field of psychology can not really
explain is this realm in which I litterally flying everywhere. In real like there are times
when I am decending down on Buffalo street here in Ithaca from Cornell University
where I will get on my toes and feel now I will be alow to fly while in full consciousness
which is the impact of this deam feature. It has not happen yet - I have not started to fly.
It is here where there are near paganistic states of minds which are hidden within our
very ids' centralities. They are both in the forms of heros, anxieties, expectations,
sensualities, and monsters, and it is from here, and possibly here alone where the nexus
of paganism exist, mythologies, as its sensual connections are more than felt in more
exciting personalized experiences. None the less, this is where most of human legends
are born, they are all derivitives of Dream Speak.
Roger M. Christian
WORRY
Posted by Kate
Will you, once and for all, stop worrying? You over-worry. Any worry is too much.
Worry is pointless. It takes your energy and gives nothing back in return but more of
itself. Make a better bargain than this.
Worry is fretting. Worry is thinking of what could go wrong. You even worry after
something has gone wrong. Then you worry yourself to the bone over what you could
have done better if only you were able to go back in time. Beloveds, you can't go back in
time. You cannot undo. Now, please, let go of worry and remonstrance. Let go of worry
before, during, and after. Just let it go.
Worry is carrying around a heavy sack. There is no point to it. You don't have to carry it.
It serves no good purpose. All it does is weigh you down. What you can do is let go of
worry. Let it fall between the cracks. Get it out of sight. Kick it away. It is of no use to
you. Worry is a habit. It is a habit you want to break. Worry, in a perverse way, is like
sucking your thumb.
Toss all your worries out the window and let them fly away. Worries have no sustenance
except when you agree to them. Disagree with them. There is no reason for you to
appease or placate worry. Worry is something you learned, beloveds. Unlearn it now.
You took on worry, and now you will let go of it.
Can you imagine the great energy there will be in the world when worry takes a walk?
Indeed, Earth would lift itself right up to Heaven. All the energy presently wasted on
worry would be transformed into love. Who wouldn't rather love than worry?
What a worthless thing is worry. And yet, what a toehold it has! Worry has been good at
hoodwinking you, making you believe that it will prevent misfortune. What a conman
worry is! Worry is not a safeguard. Worry is good at bringing misfortune to you. You are
already unfortunate when you are consumed with worry.
Come from the premise that there is nothing wrong, and that nothing wrong will
happen. Worry would convince you that there is danger around every corner. Worry is
the danger, beloveds. You cannot know that what you see as wrong is wrong.
Something may well not be what you want. Everyone may say it is wrong, and yet you
can let go of the concept of wrongness. You must. Because you don't want something
doesn't make it wrong. Death, so feared, is not wrong.
Understandably, you want to keep your loved ones firmly on Earth. To your worried
heart, it is wrong for someone to die. Even when you know it's all right, you think it's
wrong. Even when someone's time to leave the planet has come, you protest that it is
unfair. You object. Don't object, and you won't worry. Worry is self-torment. If you
must consider something wrong, consider worry wrong.
Now carry good will instead of worry. Good will expands. Worry contracts. Worry
keeps you bound. Good will frees you. How deeply you want to be free, and yet how
stolidly you grab onto worry and won't let it go.
Be a well-wisher and no longer a worrier.
Evict worry from your life. Worry has no business staying with you. Cast it off. Cast off
the anchor of worry. Set sail for a different shore where worry cannot go. Be worryless,
beloveds. Abandon worry. Leave worry on a deserted island. Leave it there.
Scrying
Posted by Rev. Carol A. Ingle (Raven)
Scrying has been used for thousands of years by different cultures. Ancient Egypt used
scrying in their Initiations. This included water scrying, dream scrying, oil scrying, and
mirror scrying. One legend states that the goddess Hathor carried a shield that could
reflect back all things in their true light. From this shield she allegedly fashioned the
first magic mirror to "see."
Ancient Persia -- the Shahnama, a semi-historical epic work written in the late 10th
century, gives a description of what was called the Cup of Jamshid, used in pre-Islamic
Persia, which was used by wizards and practitioners of the esoteric sciences for
observing all the seven layers of the universe.
Ancient Greeks and Celts practiced scrying using beryl, crystal, black glass, polished
quartz, water, and other transparent or light catching bodies.
Nostradamus is believed to have employed a small bowl of water as a scrying tool into
which he gazed and received images of future events. Alchemists Edward Kelley and
John Dee employed a form of scrying using a small crystal ball or shewstone - a piece of
polished obsidion. The crystal ball and wax tablets used by Dee and Kelley are on
display at the British Museum in London.
Scrying is the occult practice of using a medium, most commonly a reflective surface or
translucent body, to aid perceived psychic abilities such as clairvoyance. The media
often used to "see" are water, polished precious stones, crystal balls, or mirrors. Scrying,
in this context, uses a "visual" process. There are some who believe the art of scrying is
not limited to the use of "reflective" or "translucent" bodies only, but includes other
media. Scrying has been used in many cultures as a means of seeing the past, present, or
future; in this sense scrying constitutes a form of divination.
NEED WASHING?
Posted by Rev. Carol A. Ingle (Raven)
In reading this I think Goddess yet it is a beautiful story have a nice day and never
forget to stand in the rain. Thought I would share this with all!
NEED WASHING?
A little girl had been shopping with her Mom in K-Mart. She must have been 6 years
old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence.
It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so
much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout. We all stood
there, under the awning, just inside the door of the K-Mart.
We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried
day. I am always mesmerised by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the
heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing
so carefree as a child came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my
day.
Her little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in,
'Mom let's run through the rain,' she said.
'What?' Mom asked.
'Let's run through the rain!' She repeated.
'No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit,' Mom replied.
This young child waited a minute and repeated: 'Mom, let's run through the rain.'
'We'll get soaked if we do,' Mom said.
'No, we won't, Mom. That's not what you said this morning,' the young girl said as she
tugged at her Mom's arm.
'This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?'
'Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, 'If
the Gods can get us through this, They can get us through anything!'
The entire crowd stopped dead silent.. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain.
We all stood silently. No one left. Mom paused and thought for a moment about what
she would say.
Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore
what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time
when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.
'Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If the GODS let's us get
wet, well maybe we just need washing,' Mom said.
Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the
cars and yes, through the puddles. They got soaked.
They were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to
their cars. And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing.
Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away
your money, and they can take away your health.
But no one can ever take away your precious memories. So, don't forget to make time
and take the opportunities to make memories everyday. To everything there is a season
and a time to every purpose under heaven.
I HOPE YOU STILL TAKE THE TIME TO RUN THROUGH THE RAIN.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to
love them, but then an entire life to forget them.
Send this to the people you'll never forget and remember to also send it to the person
who sent it to you. It's a short message to let them know that you'll never forget them.
If you don't send it to anyone, it means you're in a hurry.
Take the time to live!!!
Keep in touch with your friends, you never know when you'll need each other -- and
don't forget to run in the rain!
At that moment, the spoon theory was born. I quickly grabbed every spoon on the
table; hell I grabbed spoons off of the other tables. I looked at her in the eyes and said
Here you go, you have Lupus. She looked at me slightly confused, as anyone would
when they are being handed a bouquet of spoons. The cold metal spoons clanked in
my hands, as I grouped them together and shoved them into her hands.
I explained that the difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make
choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesnt have
to. The healthy have the luxury of a life without choices, a gift most people take for
granted.
Most people start the day with unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy to do
whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part, they do not need to
worry about the effects of their actions. So for my explanation, I used spoons to
convey this point. I wanted something for her to actually hold, for me to then take
away, since most people who get sick feel a loss of a life they once knew. If I was in
control of taking away the spoons, then she would know what it feels like to have
someone or something else, in this case Lupus, being in control.
She grabbed the spoons with excitement. She didnt understand what I was doing, but
she is always up for a good time, so I guess she thought I was cracking a joke of some
kind like I usually do when talking about touchy topics. Little did she know how
serious I would become?
I asked her to count her spoons. She asked why, and I explained that when you are
healthy you expect to have a never-ending supply of spoons. But when you have to
now plan your day, you need to know exactly how many spoons you are starting
with. It doesnt guarantee that you might not lose some along the way, but at least it
helps to know where you are starting. She counted out 12 spoons. She laughed and
said she wanted more. I said no, and I knew right away that this little game would
work, when she looked disappointed, and we hadnt even started yet. Ive wanted
more spoons for years and havent found a way yet to get more, why should she? I
also told her to always be conscious of how many she had, and not to drop them
because she can never forget she has Lupus.
I asked her to list off the tasks of her day, including the most simple. As, she rattled
off daily chores, or just fun things to do; I explained how each one would cost her a
spoon. When she jumped right into getting ready for work as her first task of the
morning, I cut her off and took away a spoon. I practically jumped down her throat. I
said No! You dont just get up. You have to crack open your eyes, and then realize
you are late.
You didnt sleep well the night before. You have to crawl out of bed, and then you
have to make your self something to eat before you can do anything else, because if
you dont, you cant take your medicine, and if you dont take your medicine you
might as well give up all your spoons for today and tomorrow too. I quickly took
away a spoon and she realized she hasnt even gotten dressed yet. Showering cost her
spoon, just for washing her hair and shaving her legs. Reaching high and low that
early in the morning could actually cost more than one spoon, but I figured I would
give her a break; I didnt want to scare her right away. Getting dressed was worth
another spoon. I stopped her and broke down every task to show her how every little
detail needs to be thought about. You cannot simply just throw clothes on when you
are sick. I explained that I have to see what clothes I can physically put on, if my
hands hurt that day buttons are out of the question. If I have bruises that day, I need
to wear long sleeves, and if I have a fever I need a sweater to stay warm and so on. If
my hair is falling out I need to spend more time to look presentable, and then you
need to factor in another 5 minutes for feeling badly that it took you 2 hours to do all
this.
I think she was starting to understand when she theoretically didnt even get to work,
and she was left with 6 spoons. I then explained to her that she needed to choose the
rest of her day wisely, since when your spoons are gone, they are gone. Sometimes
you can borrow against tomorrows spoons, but just think how hard tomorrow will
be with less spoons. I also needed to explain that a person who is sick always lives
with the looming thought that tomorrow may be the day that a cold comes, or an
infection, or any number of things that could be very dangerous. So you do not want
to run low on spoons, because you never know when you truly will need them. I
didnt want to depress her, but I needed to be realistic, and unfortunately being
prepared for the worst is part of a real day for me.
We went through the rest of the day, and she slowly learned that skipping lunch
would cost her a spoon, as well as standing on a train, or even typing at her computer
too long. She was forced to make choices and think about things differently.
Hypothetically, she had to choose not to run errands, so that she could eat dinner that
night.
When we got to the end of her pretend day, she said she was hungry. I summarized
that she had to eat dinner but she only had one spoon left. If she cooked, she
wouldnt have enough energy to clean the pots. If she went out for dinner, she might
be too tired to drive home safely. Then I also explained, that I didnt even bother to
add into this game, that she was so nauseous, that cooking was probably out of the
question anyway. So she decided to make soup, it was easy. I then said it is only 7pm,
you have the rest of the night but maybe end up with one spoon, so you can do
something fun, or clean your apartment, or do chores, but you cant do it all.
I rarely see her emotional, so when I saw her upset I knew maybe I was getting
through to her. I didnt want my friend to be upset, but at the same time I was happy
to think finally maybe someone understood me a little bit. She had tears in her eyes
and asked quietly Christine, How do you do it? Do you really do this everyday? I
explained that some days were worse then others; some days I have more spoons then
most. But I can never make it go away and I cant forget about it, I always have to
think about it. I handed her a spoon I had been holding in reserve. I said simply, I
have learned to live life with an extra spoon in my pocket, in reserve. You need to
always be prepared.
Its hard, the hardest thing I ever had to learn is to slow down, and not do everything. I
fight this to this day. I hate feeling left out, having to choose to stay home, or to not
get things done that I want to. I wanted her to feel that frustration. I wanted her to
understand, that everything everyone else does comes so easy, but for me it is one
hundred little jobs in one. I need to think about the weather, my temperature that day,
and the whole days plans before I can attack any one given thing. When other people
can simply do things, I have to attack it and make a plan like I am strategizing a war.
It is in that lifestyle, the difference between being sick and healthy. It is the beautiful
ability to not think and just do. I miss that freedom. I miss never having to count
spoons.
After we were emotional and talked about this for a little while longer, I sensed she
was sad. Maybe she finally understood. Maybe she realized that she never could truly
and honestly say she understands. But at least now she might not complain so much
when I cant go out for dinner some nights, or when I never seem to make it to her
house and she always has to drive to mine. I gave her a hug when we walked out of
the diner. I had the one spoon in my hand and I said Dont worry. I see this as a
blessing. I have been forced to think about everything I do. Do you know how many
spoons people waste everyday? I dont have room for wasted time, or wasted spoons
and I chose to spend this time with you.
Ever since this night, I have used the spoon theory to explain my life to many people.
In fact, my family and friends refer to spoons all the time. It has been a code word for
what I can and cannot do. Once people understand the spoon theory they seem to
understand me better, but I also think they live their life a little differently too. I think
it isnt just good for understanding Lupus, but anyone dealing with any disability or
illness. Hopefully, they dont take so much for granted or their life in general. I give a
piece of myself, in every sense of the word when I do anything. It has become an
inside joke. I have become famous for saying to people jokingly that they should feel
special when I spend time with them, because they have one of my spoons.