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Rock-Solid Families
Leaders Guide 2011-2012
Rock-Solid Families Leaders Guide
There
once
was a
woman who
lived in
Thebez.
Have you ever read something that
grabbed your attention?
Years ago, while trying to read through
the Bible in one year (which is always
mission impossible for me), I came upon
a story that arrested my attention.
Nestled in the middle of Judges 9, verses
50-55, the story of a nameless woman in
a city Id never heard of did just that. Boy
oh boy did she get my attention. Take just
a minute before we get started, to read
Judges 9:50-55 and pages 7-8 in Rock-
Solid Families. Does this womans
courageous spirit jump off the page to
you? I hope so. What on earth behooved
this woman to pick up a millstone and
thrust it out the window of that tower?
Why a woman? Was it her motherly
instinct that enraged her? Im always
curious as to why a man didnt take such
action. Did God lead this woman in
order that women centuries later would
be encouraged by her story? Before you
embark on leading women in this study,
think about this story.
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Introduction
Pathways
have always
intrigued me. In a way,
they serve as natures golden
invitations to explore and
discover something brand new.
Endless possibilities await the
adventurer who nds the courage to blaze the
trail. Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote,
Whatever you do, you need courage.
Whatever course you decide upon, there is
always someone to tell you that you are
wrong. There are always difculties arising
that tempt you to believe your critics are right.
To map out a course of action and follow it to
an end requires some of the same courage that
a soldier needs. Peace has its victories, but it
takes brave men and women to win them.
Transforming an ordinary home into a fortress
of faith will require the same courage that a
soldier needs. I am completely convinced that
when the principles of Rock-Solid Families
are understood, implemented, and practiced,
families can and
will
change. As a
leader of this exciting
adventure, you have the
unique privilege of helping
families walk down the pathway
towards absolute transformation.
Your Leaders Kit includes:
Life-Changing Listening Skills (Leader Prep)
Time for a Heart Checkup (Leader Prep)
Secrets to Great Group Dynamics (Leader
Prep)
Small Group Flyer & Sign Up Sheet
Chapter Add-ons for MOPS Discussion
Group, Bible Studies, Sunday School,
Parenting Class, etc.
He(ART) Journal Exercises
Rock-Solid Prayers
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Get Ready
for the
Journey!
In January 2011, I took a Graduate
Course, Studies in Interpersonal
Communications, that profoundly
challenged and changed me. Basically,
this was a course on listening skills and my
interpersonal communication style. As I embarked on
the journey of this particular class, I thought it would be
a piece of cake. I mean, heck, the foundation of my
vocation is communication: speaking, writing, listening,
& counseling. I got this.
Well, I was wrong. Very wrong. After a 38-page
assessment of my interpersonal communications style, I
found out I was an average listener. This realization
rocked my world. At the dinner table one night, I
shared this reality with Rob. Wow! he smiled. If you
are an average listener, I must be way below average!
We had a good laugh, yet when it was all said and
done, we started applying the principles and lessons
from my class.
One very important principle that I want to share with
you, especially as the primary leader(s) of this
extremely important Bible Study/Group, came from
Executive Educator, Susan Scott:
Over 10,000 hours of one-to-one
conversations with industry leaders,
as well as workshops with men and
women from all walks of life confronting
issues of relationship and life direction, have
convinced me that our work, our relationships, and in
fact, our very lives succeed or fail gradually, then
suddenly, one conversation at a time.
Please write that in the front of your Leaders Notebook:
Lives succeed or fail gradually, then suddenly, one
conversation at a time.
So simple, yet so profound. And, as a leader, you will
engage in hundreds of conversations. Scott continues,
The conversation is the relationship. Relationship
problems begin in specic conversations, negative
spirals can be tracked through conversations, and
improvements can occur when conversations change.
In light of this, give time and attention to strengthening
your ability to lead your team in healthy
communication patterns. Let me suggest:
Why Dont We Listen Better by Dr. James Petersen
www.petersenpublications.com
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Life-Changing
Listening
Skills
At least once a
year (hopefully), we trek to our
family doctor for our annual
physical. Without a doubt, if we
dont pay attention to this for ourselves,
we make sure our children do! Routinely,
they prick our nger, look in our ears, depress
our tongue, make us gag, and place their chilly
stethoscope on our chest in order to hear our heartbeat.
Why oh why dont we do the same when it comes to
the spiritual and mental health of our family? Once a
year, if not more often, the heart of our family needs
some attention. More than likely, our addicted-to-hurry-
and-scurry-schedules keep us from this critical
examination.
In light of this, as leaders of this study, take some time
before you begin this journey and take The Family
Heart Check-up available on my website. Follow these
simple steps:
1. Go to http://www.janellrardon.com/join-mailing-
list.html
Join my mailing list and download The
Family Heart Check-up. No fear here. I wont
barrage your inbox with overload. That is a promise!
2. Spend some time with your hubby, or if you are a
single mom, with God (see Isaiah 54:5), and
complete the heart check-up. Familiarize yourself
with this check-up in order to lead your group in
understanding it! Contact me with any questions,
janellrardon@me.com.
3. At the rst group meeting, don medical scrubs or the
likes, or wear stethoscopes! OR, bring in a cardio
doctor, tness trainer (can anyone say ve minutes of
Zumba?), life coach, etc to discuss a healthy heart
with healthy snack recipes), etc. For more, see
INTRODUCTION on page 7.
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Time for a
Heart
Check Up
When women gather in an indomitable spirit of
unity, great things happen.
The most important thing I can say at the onset of
this journey is that your team must move in unity.
In my book project, Waggle Dance: Breaking
Barriers, Building Unity, and Bringing Joy to
Others, I emphasize the critical nature of spiritual
unity. The summation of this six-week study is
simple: healthy communication is the key to
successful teamwork. After years of leading teams,
Ive found the following principles most helpful:
1. As a team, meditate and perhaps memorize
Ephesians 4, with emphasis on verses 29-32.
Note: Guard against negative, unhealthy group
communication, which often results in gossip,
backbiting, strife, and undercurrents of
controversy. Verse 29 is the mantra for great
group dynamics: Do not let any
unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,
but only what is helpful for building others up
according to their needs, that it may benet
those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy
Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for
the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness,
rage and anger, brawling and slander, along
with every form of malice. Be kind and
compassionate to one another, forgiving each
other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
2. Above all, love one another deeply. Read 1
Peter 4:8 (New International Version and
verses 7-11 in The Message. This verse, at
times, seems virtually impossible to live out,
but give it your best shot. I hold this verse in
one hand and Romans 12:18 in the other
hand. As a team, talk this through. Wrap it all
up in 1 Corinthians 13:1-13. Whew, tough, I
know, but absolutely critical.
3. Heed the golden advice of missionary Amy
Carmichael: Never about, always to. Never
talk about another team member, always go
to them directly to confront any issues that
could potentially cause discord. See
www.peacemaker.net for resources on conict
management.
Maturity is the ability to see and act on behalf of
others. Immature people dont see things from
someone elses point of view. They rarely concern
themselves with what is best for others. In many
ways, they act like small children (John Maxwell).
4. Pray, pray, pray! Something spectacular happens
when women lay aside their own difculties,
problems, concerns, worries, etc. to pray for
others. Pray for something bigger than
themselves. In light of this:
Appoint a prayer leader. She will organize prayer
meetings, prayer chain, and rally a team of
pray-ers!
Grow in your understanding of prayer. Great
resources I have found helpful:
http://www.redeemer.com/connect/prayer/
group_prayer.html
http://download.redeemer.com/rpcsermons/
Lords_Prayer_1990/How_To_Pray.mp3
http://www.navpress.com/pray/
Learn about conversational prayer with Author
Cynthia Bezek in her new book, Prayer Begins
with Relationship (http://www.navpress.com/
pray/). Order this book & other prayer resources
on janellrardon.com (in amazon store, other
authors category).
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Can I be completely honest with
you for a second?
If I can offer one piece of advice at the
onset of this small group adventure, it is
this:
As a leader, in any capacity, or as a member of the
leadership team, i.e. hospitality, prayer, program
development, speaker coordinator, etc., you will be
engaging in leading others. This is a big responsibility
that comes with big pressure, big problems, and big
moments laden with potential to help and heal others.
And, I might add, very big possibilities to experience
real joy. The positives far outweigh the negatives.
Alas, as a leader, you must always remember to take
care of yourself, your own family, and your relationship
with God. Please trust me on this one. The work can
and probably will take over your life. But, you cant let
it. The entire purpose of writing Rock-Solid Families was
to instill principles for experiencing true physical,
emotional, and spiritual health. So, in light of this, Ive
collected my TOP TEN PERSONAL GROWTH
WEBSITES for you to have in your self-care arsenal.
There are plenty more, but these are my favorites.
1.Life Coach, Amy Pearson: http://
www.bloomlifedesign.com/about-amy-
bloom/. As a recovering approval addict
myself, this is a must.
2.Relationship Experts, Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott,
http://www.realrelationships.com/.
3. Biblical Womanhood: http://www.truewoman.com/?
id=235
4. Small Group Leadership: http://www.smallgroups.com/.
5. Womens Issues: http://www.incourage.me/
6. Event Planning: www.speakerchicks.com.
7. Encouragement from me: http://www.janellrardon.com/
mops.html
8. Intentional Leadership: http://michaelhyatt.com/
9. Soul Care (my absolute favorite): http://
www.soulcare.com/bio
10. Endless articles on womens issues: http://
www.kyria.com/ and http://www.proverbs31.org/
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10
Great Sites for
Personal
Development
Rock-Solid Families Leaders Guide
Introduction:
Raising a Strong Family is a
NOW Job!
The home must be a fortress of faith
as it forties the family.
1. Open meeting with intentional prayer
concerning the heart condition of
every woman and family in attendance.
2. Skit: Every team leader dons medical
attire or the likes, wears a stethoscope
(toy ones work great!), or carries a
medical bag (check your local toy
store). Ideas for a short introductory skit
would be to have a doctor or nurse
interviewing a mom in the
examination room. Dialogue from the
Family Heart Check-Up, available as
a download when you sign up for my
mailing list, http://
www.janellrardon.com/contact.html,
or a shorter version on pages 213-214
of Rock-Solid. As the medical person
listens to her heart through the
spiritual stethoscope she can end the
skit with a spiritual prescription for:
increased prayer and family devotion,
develop healthy communication
patterns, have more fun and play more
games, shut off the television, etc. For
ideas see Family Fun: The Mathematics
of Mental Fitness on pages 203-210 or
download from http://
www.speakerchicks.com/node/336.
3. Discuss Introduction and Time in the
Tower (pgs. 8-9). Read aloud the
scripture passages and discuss.
4. At the close of this session, handout
the yer, The Never Ending Cycle of
Now becomes The Tapestry of
Tomorrow. Follow the instructions and
then close with a discussion concerning
the specics of the NOWS and the
dreams and hopes of the
TOMORROWs.
5. Close session in prayer, always offering
to be available to those who may need
private prayer time. Here is where
your team prayer leader comes into
play. Be available for women who need
specic care and concern. Great
resources:
a. http://www.omf.org/omf/us/
resources__1/prayer_resources/
praying_for_one_another
b. http://www.ourprayer.org/power-
praying-together
c. Incredible resource:
www.sacredinfusion.org/les/
si_brochure_digital.pdf
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The Never Ending Cycle of Now
Rock-Solid Families speaks to the fact that raising a strong family is a NOW job.
Now dened, at the present time or moment; immediately.
It is the NOWs that drive us crazy and very often prove to be the greatest stumbling blocks
to building a rock-solid foundation. Why? Because they demand so much of us.
In all honesty, they demand seless living, which if we are boldfaced honest, none of us enjoy.
This sacricial living is the basis of true love. Consider this as you take a few minutes to
consider the NOWness (immediacy) of your daily life right now (no pun intended).
THE RIGHT NOWS ACTION PLAN
Spiritual Foundation: Attendance in a viable
community of faith where children see
authentic faith being lived out. This cant be a
re-do.
We havent been going to church on a
regular basis. What does this say to the
children about consistency and commitment?
Listening to all their questions and trying to
be patient and in the moment.
My mind seems to always be somewhere
else. Today, I pray that God will help me live
in the NOW of life.
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The Tapestry of Tomorrow
In What is a Family?, Author Edith Schaeffer
invites readers to picture their life at their
rst family reunion, say 30 years from RIGHT NOW.
So, after looking at the NOWs of your life, take a few minutes to
think about how you want your family to look at your rst family
reunion. Not physically but spiritually and emotionally.
Go ahead, dream big! This is the TAPESTRY OF YOUR TOMORROW!
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Rock-Solid Families Leader Guide
Chapter One
VISUAL AID: Wear oversized
plastic glasses, available in party
stores or online at Oriental Trading.
This emphasizes the importance of
two things: living a wide-awake life
& having 20/20 vision for our
families, both individually and
corporately.
KEY THOUGHTS:
1. Gods plan for your family is tailor-
made, tted perfectly, unlike
anyone elses. Dont compare. Dont
compete. Be absorbed in His plans
and purposes for your family (p.
11).
2. Vision is a picture held in your
minds eye of the way things could
or should be in the days ahead. It is
not somebody elses view of the
future, but one that uniquely
belongs to you (p. 11).
3. Five ingredients to crafting a family
mission statement:
a. Make Jesus Christ the focal
point.
b. Make it short and sweet.
c. Make it crystal clear.
d. Make it reasonable.
e. Make it reect the gifts and
talents of each family member.
4. The three lenses through which we
see life:
Focused
Distracted
Blurred
5. The denition of Christian
contentment according to Jeremiah
Burroughs: Contentment is that
sweet, inward, quiet, gracious frame
of spirit which freely submits to and
delights in Gods wise and Fatherly
disposal in every condition.
SPEAKER IDEAS: Perhaps bring in an
optometrist to discuss VISION as it
relates to families.
GROUP DISCUSSION: Complete
Time in the Tower on pages 24-25. It
might be a great idea to bring in a Life
Coach, Marriage and Family Therapist,
or Family Counselor to infuse some
inspiration concerning the power of
family!
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VISION
1
Rock-Solid Families Leader Guide
Chapter Two
Many have asked me, Why on earth
did you put exibility as one of the
foundational stones of a rock-solid
family? The answer is simple:
because change is inevitable in a
family. No two days will be the same.
No two children will be the same (and
I have twins). No two seasons of life
will be the same. A family must know
how to navigate change and this
requires exibility.
Flexibility comes from the Latin root,
exibilis, to bend, meaning capable of
bending without breaking. Just let that
sink in for a moment. Key: bending
without breaking.
VISUAL AID: One MOPS group
brought in a yoga teacher to speak
on the principles of exibility and
then she led the entire group in a
simple set of exibility exercises.
Perhaps yoga doesnt t your
group, but perhaps a personal
trainer or dance educator? Try
anything that will get your group
stretching!
Another great idea: have road
signs: STOP, YIELD, etc. all over the
meeting room to support my story
on pages 31-33. Even have
someone dressed as a Crossing
Guard with a sign in hand as
women enter the meeting. SET UP
A ROADBLOCK.
KEY THOUGHTS:
1. Life is full of stress, both
healthy and unhealthy.
Review a life-stressor
chart together. Tally and
assess your need for
exibility.
2. Chinese proverb, Habits
are cobwebs at rst;
cables at last. Initiating
change, from the inside out, is
painstaking work (p. 27).
3. Family life is the delicate dance
between exibility and order/
organization (Chapters 3&4).
4. Be sure that everyone signs up
for my free newsletter/mailing
list (assure them I do not barrage
them) so they can download
their very own Family Heart
Checkup in order to complete
pages 34-35. Or, make copies
for everyone.
GROUP DISCUSSION: Read through
Time in the Tower and talk about
the changes that have or will occur
in the lives of the participants.
Encourage everyone to complete
this exercise through the week.
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FLEXIBILITY
2
Rock-Solid Families Leader Guide
Chapters Three & Four
In a perfect world, order, organization,
creativity, and balance would reign
supreme. But, we dont live in a perfect
world, at least I dont. In fact we live in a
very imperfect fallen world where
distractions, interruptions, natural
disasters, economic deation, unrealistic
expectations, unhealthy desires,
dysfunctional behaviors, rampant
temptation, materialism . . . shall I go
on . . .exist. And, top it all off with a great
deal of relational brokenness. We must
remember this as we unwittingly compare
ourselves to our peers and misalign
ourselves with the standards of such a
culture. Here is where we must know the
Word of God. Hands down, this is the
only way to live an abundant life.
-Janell
VISUAL AID: I love starting this
session with a clip of June Cleaver
from Leave it to Beaver with her
pearls, high heels, and coiffed hair
doing housework. Always brings a
laugh and leads into the above
quote.
POWER POINT: See
www.janellrardon.com for the
power point for this lesson:
OPERATION ORDER &
ORGANIZATION.
MEDIA CLIP: Bring me into your
lecture via SKYPE. We can do
this!!! OR watch the interview from
The Harvest Show
where I discuss this in detail.
KEY THOUGHTS:
1. A fortied home is a focused
home (p. 49).
2. A home is a signature, distinct
and recognizable. The love put
into it may be the greatest
accomplishment of a
lifetime (Victoria Moran).
3. The CLEAN IT UP Plan:
C=Commit to a plan.
L=Let go of perfection.
E=Engage help.
A=Act immediately.
N=Never quit.
I=Implement intentional living.
T=Train family members in The
Many Hands Principle
U=Understand the principle of
seasons.
P=Pray, Pace Yourself, Prune
Activities, and Provide Time and
Tools.
GROUP DISCUSSION: Read through
Time in the Tower and be gut-level
honest through the lens of Gods grace
(Chapter 11) about these topics.
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ORDER &
ORGANIZATION
3 & 4
Rock-Solid Families Leader Guide
Chapters Five
Rock-Solid means unable to break.
How on earth do we maintain rock-
solid marriages that are able to
withstand the hurricane winds of
culture that seemingly work against
marital delity, family values, and
Biblical truth?
VISUAL AID: Steering team or
leadership (if male and female,
adjust accordingly) comes to this
discussion in oversized annel
pajamas, curlers in hair, dirt across
face . . .you get the picture. Look as
though you REALLY DONT CARE
about your partner.
SUGGESTED SPEAKER: Bring in a
marriage and family
therapist, counselor, or
expert to discuss the
power of marriage and
marital issues.
Here are links to great
additional articles to think
about. Through years of research, Ive
stumbled upon them and they have
caused my husband and I to really
think and express through healthy
dialogue our love commitment to God
and to one another.
mattadair.typepad.com/communitas/les/
ve_love_languages_critique.pdf
www.elisabethelliot.org/ramble/Draft.pdf
An absolute must read:
http://www.petersenpublications.com/
jim_petersen/index.htm
http://www.petersenpublications.com/
jim_petersen/
guiding_difcult_discussions.htm
http://smalley.cc/the-fear-dance-
understanding-why-you-ght
http://www.peacemaker.net/site/
c.aqKFLTOBIpH/b.931027/k.F7D8/
Marriage_Building_Peace_into_the_Marital
_Relationship.htm
Three fabulous marriage-building events:
http://www.familylife.com/site/
c.dnJHKLNnFoG/b.3204559/k.CA50/
Events.htm?fromhp=TopNavEvents
Okay, thats a good
start. I found this
chapter on marriage
particularly difcult to
write due to the
millions of books (ok,
thats a hyperbole) on
the subject and
because its hard to summate marriage
principles into one little chapter. In
light of this, it is my earnest prayer that
something HOPS off the page and
perhaps offers hope and life to you.
Prior to beginning this chapter, ask
one question:
Do you really believe the greatest gift
you can give your child/children is a
strong, rock-solid marriage? (p.
70-71)
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MARRIAGE
5
GROUP DISCUSSION:
Read through Time in
the Tower making
special note of the chart
on the top of page 82.
Rock-Solid Families Leader Guide
Chapters Six & Seven
Im asked all the time: Which of the
foundational stones do you feel is most
important? At rst, I felt like I was
favoring a child because each of the
stones is equally essential. But, the more I
thought about it, I concluded that Stones
6 & 7, Devotion and Prayer, probably
serves as the most critical. I dont know
where my family would be without a
constant devotion to God, his Word and
without continual prayer. Let the skeptics
beware: Prayer is real.
For over thirty years, Ive been studying the
Bible. That amazes me. Flashback to 1980,
when I accepted Christ as a senior at
James Madison University. I can remember
sitting in my room, a brand new Christian,
trying so hard to understand the words I
was reading. A mere babe in Christ, I
struggled and struggled to make sense of
it, all the while silently growing in my
faith. Step by step, word by word, I grew
stronger through the diligent study of
Gods Word. Even when I didnt know
what I was doing, God did. I like the way
Donald Whitney explains the power of
Bible Study:
If reading the Bible can be compared to
cruising the width of a clear, sparkling
lake in a motorboat, studying the BIble is
like slowly crossing that same lake in a
glass-bottomed boat. The motorboat
crossing provides an overview of the lake
and a swift, passing view of its depth. The
glass-bottom boat of study, however, takes
you beneath the surface of the Scripture
for an unhurried look of clarity and detail
thats normally missed by those who
simply read the text. And Author Geoffrey
Thomas in Reading
the Bible writes, Do not expect to master
the Bible in a day, or a month, or a year.
Rather expect to be puzzled by its content.
It is not all equally clear. Great men of
God often feel like absolute novices when
they read the Word. The apostle Peter said
that there were some things hard to
understand in the epistles of Paul (2 Peter
3:16). I am glad he wrote those words
because I have felt that often. So do not
expect always to get an emotional charge
or a feeling of quiet peace when you read
the Bible. By the grace of God you may
expect that to be a frequent experience,
but often you will get no emotional
response at all. Let the Word break over
your heart and your attitude and your
outlook and your conduct.
Devotion and prayer go hand in hand.
Study these two chapters as a unit. One
truth needs to be reiterated: A rock-solid
family must be built upon the solid rock of
devotion to God, His Word, and prayer--
which is the expression of the former.
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DEVOTION
& PRAYER
6 & 7
VISUAL AID: If at all
possible, secure an
oxygen mask, oxygen
tank, breathing machine
(surely someones
husband wears a CPAP
mask for sleep apnea).

SUGGESTED
SPEAKER: Great idea is
to bring in a reman to
discuss the critical role
of reviving victims, both
human and animal,
with oxygen. Research
on google.com for
rescue stories! Devotion
and Prayer are the
oxygen of our families.
Without it, we suffocate
and die.
http://www.thrivingfamily.com/
GROUP DISCUSSION:
Must dened, be obliged to;
expressing insistence.
Hands down, the most important
truth of these chapters is found in
the ancient saying, More is caught
than taught. Oh, yes, we must
teach and train our children in
the ways of God (Proverbs 22:6)
but more importantly, as Paul
instructs in Acts 17:28, We must
live, move, and have our being in
Christ. Our children MUST, and I
repeat MUST, see us living the life
of faith. Not religion or religious
duty, but genuine faith. They can
smell hypocrisy a hundred miles
away.
1. After reading through Chapters
Six and Seven:
a. Discuss Time in the Tower,
pg. 100, specically #2.
What one baby step can you
take today to begin
implementing family
devotionals? Check out
family devotional resources
on my amazon store,http://
astore.amazon.com/
janerard07-20?
_encoding=UTF8&node=2.
b. Discuss Time in the Tower,
pg. 118, specically
considering how, like
Manoah, to consider the
rule and work for each of
your children. Chart out
intentional prayer:
CHILD
Rule and Work for
Week of
________________
2. Begin implementing Thirty
Minutes of Silence into your daily
routine. It wont be easy at rst but
be consistent. It will happen.
- 16 -
More ! caught "an taught.
Give a man a sh and you feed him for a day.
Teach a man to sh and you feed him for a lifetime.
-Chinese Proverb
Rock-Solid Families Leader Guide
Chapter Eight
At the end of our
lives, each one of us
will be judged on our
lifes journey, not our
accolades, our
prestigious awards and
accomplishments, our
mighty deeds, our
academic diplomas, or the
fortunes we amass, but on
the integrity of our character: the
stewardship of our thoughts and
actions. Did I bring glory to God? Did
I love others deeply? Did I fulll my
God-created potential and purpose?
Did I face obstacles with courage and
tenacity, ever trusting in Gods ability
to sustain me?
VISUAL AID:
Have the room
lled with
trophies,
trophies, and
more
trophies.Visit
www.orientaltrading.com and
order Goldtone Winner Medals
for every attendee. Create an
awards mentality. The goal:
helping parents see the success-
driven mentality of our culture.
Oh, we want to pursue excellence,
but oftentimes our idea of success
doesnt line up with Gods idea of
success.
VIDEO CLIP: (Would be great
if all group members could
watch Soul Surfer before
the meeting). Show a clip
from Soul Surfer, the story
of surfer Bethany Hamilton. Take
a few moments to discuss how
Bethanys view of success
changed.
GROUP DISCUSSION:
1. There is denite tension in truly
living out 1 John 4:4-6 and John
17:11-19, especially concerning
viewpoint. Jesuss
words about being
in the world but
not of the world
challenge every
ber of our being.
As Christian
parents, it really is
imperative to grasp
this Biblical principle because our
children can only ourish as God
intended when we do so. A dear
friend of mine, Linda, once shared
the wisest advice, We want to
direct them [our children], not
drive them. Do you agree or
disagree?
- 17 -
SPIRITUAL
SUCCESS
8
THE HIGH VALUE OF
READING
BIOGRAPHY
One of the best practices I
can mention is the reading
of biography to your
children. While listening to
the stories of great men and
women enlarges their
Biblical worldview, their
capacity and potential, and
their passion for life!
This is a great resource
for great stories:
http://cefpress.com/
Rock-Solid Families Leaders Guide
Chapter 9
Many have asked, Why didnt you
put a chapter on discipline in this
book? My reply: Didnt want to
touch that subject with a ten
foot pole (smile)! Honestly, I
did think about it, but I felt a
chapter on obedience would be
more important because
obedience is the true
goal, for lack of a
bet t er wor d. God
h o n o r s o b e d i e n c e .
Wholehearted obedience. Only two
people in the Bible were ever called
wholeheartedly obedient: Joshua and
Caleb (see Numbers 13-14). So, I
write a great deal about the habit
of obedience. It is a habit that
must be formed in those rst six
years of life.
VISUAL AID:
A dog. Yes, I said, a dog! At the
close of my baby shower
for our rst child,
Candace, my husband
walked in beaming. In
his hands was a rst-
place blue ribbon for
obedience, won by our
rst golden retriever,
Luke. Now, when we got
Luke, at the pound, he was
a mess. Throwing up paper
towels, chewing up everything and
anything, and tearing up the world!
Through many hard lessons
and strong discipline, he
learned the habit of
obedience. Right then
and there, I remember
thinking, Wow,
if my
husband can
train Luke to
be obedient, I think
we will be okay in the
child department. Dog
training is kind of like
child-rearing, ay?
So, this meeting is a
great time to
bring in a successful dog
whisperer or dog trainer!
Wouldnt that be both fun and
benecial? Perhaps he/she can
even draw parallels to training a
child to obey.
GROUP DISCUSSION:
1. Read Time in the
Tower and focus
primarily on implementing
#1. The Triplets of
Disobedience Power point is
available in the ROCK-SOLID
section of my website.
- 18 -
OBEDIENCE
9
Rock-Solid Families Leaders Guide
Chapter Ten
My sarcastic tongue held the
potential to bring disaster of titanic
proportions upon my home and
family. Proverbs 12:18 says it all:
Reckless words pierce like a sword.
Would I thrust a sword into the heart
of a loved one? Of course not. But,
this proverbs makes it crystal clear my
sarcastic (reckless) tongue holds the
same emotionally and spiritually
destructive potential as a sword
(p. 164).
VISUAL AID:
Bring in a big beautiful sword. One
vivid childhood memory of mine is
seeing my dads bright shining
Marine Corp sword mounted and
hanging over our replace. So,
whenever I read Proverbs 12:18, I
see that sword and immediately
think of the power my words hold.
This is just a suggestion, but
wouldnt it be great to actually
have a visual to go along with
this scripture. If you cant nd a
sword, how about a sharp set of
kitchen knives that cut an apple
like nobodys business. . . which
leads me to . . .
SPEAKER/PRESENTATION IDEA:
What about bringing in an expert
chef or Pampered Chef Associate to
demonstrate the power of a sharp
knife? Think of the creative
possibilities here. I want to be at
this meeting. Sounds so fun!
GROUP DISCUSSION:
1. Zero in on #3 of Time in the
Tower. How can you begin
implementing The Family Law of
Kindness RIGHT NOW?
- 19 -
LOVE
10
Great PDF on
teaching children
about kindness:
http://
www.vtaide.com/
gleanings/
Rock-Solid Families Leaders Guide
Chapter Eleven
Tucked inside every little mess of our
lives is a divine message from a loving
God who cares so much about us. I
know, it is hard to believe he loves us,
despite our shortcomings, but he
does. Accept that fact. Trust me when
I tell you that he will turn your messes
into mighty messages of hope for
others.
VISUAL AID: One long stem rose
with thorns! The thorns will
represent those difcult
circumstances,
relationships, etc. that
come into our lives;
requiring grace, grace,
and more grace!
GROUP DISCUSSION:
Question: What good
are the thorns?
Thorns are the roses
defense mechanisms.
They keep predators away
from the rose; therefore, the rose
grows beautifully. Now, this seems
contrary to thorns representing
difculties in our lives, but the end
result of the pressing is the sweet
fragrance of grace. Reread Bob
Sorges denition of grace:
Grace is the enabling that
supersedes all human inadequacy.
On pages 185-188, I share the
story of my fathers deathbed
experience. At the time, I had three
children under the age of four. As I
write, This time in my life was a
season of grace. I needed grace for
the long haul-three years to be
exact.
This is a great time for roundtable
discussions or if the group is small,
everyone share a
story about a
time in life
when they
needed a
special dose of
Gods
enabling,
grace. Stories
build us up
and give us
hope.
POSSIBLE
SPEAKER/PRESENTATION:
Bring in a rose specialist, gardener,
or someone who can discuss the
techniques of growing roses. The
ideal presentation is to have this
specialist compare growing roses to
growing a family. Just an idea!
- 20 -
GRACE
11
Great PDF on
storytelling:
www.prel.org/
products/products/
storytelling.pdf
Ad#tional Mate$als for Chapter 11
- 21 -









Concept: Concept: Concept:



Lesson Essential Questions Lesson Essential Questions Lesson Essential Questions












Application: Application: Application:







GRACE
Read 2 Corinthians 12:7-10
(MSG), p. 177
u unmerited love and
favor of God, the spring and source of

'
worried brow, quiets the
whimpers of a weeping friend,
lightens the gravity of a dark
situation, and sustains the
arms that are weakening under



Moments of
Grace
Seasons of
Grace
A Legacy of
Grace

Final Thoughts: Read Romans 4:18-21.
A l me
L A 8 - C
C n.
1. Are you in a season of

need the sustaining grace
of God for the long haul?
2. Have the days turned
into months which may
turn into years? What does
Jesus promise? (p. 184,
188).
1. What does the face of
grace look like in your
home? (p. 181-183).
2. How can we add
moments of grace to the
composition of our days?
3. What antidotes grace?
What daily pinpricks get
at your grace?
1. Do you agree with the
W
our homes would be a war

2. In 2 Peter 3:18, we read,
C
knowledge of our Lord and
S ! C P
do we do that?
It is a blessed position to which the providence of
God reduces us when we find ourselves face-to-
face with an overmastering necessity. We confess
that we are not sufficient in ourselves; but our
sufficiency is from God. We cannot make a revival;
or save a soul; or convince a heart of sin, or break
it down in contrition; we cannot comfort, or
counsel, or satisfy the quenching thirst. And when
we have reached the end of self, we have got to
C l8 M Moses).
Grace is our
super glue.
*RGcVJUDFH
notes make the
composition of
our homes
sweeter.
Grace changes a
bad situation
into a
bearable one.
Rock-Solid Families Leader Guide
Chapter Twelve
You can discover more about a
person in an hour of play than in a
year of conversation (Plato).
VISUAL AID: I always love to
shake things up. I hate it when I am
the attendee, but as the leader or
the event planner, I love it! (I know,
mean, right?) For this nal session
on Creativity, it is critical to be
CREATIVE! (smile) Here are some
out-of-the-box ideas:
1. Set up the room as a bridge,
bunco, or other card game
party. Now, Ive never
been to any of the
above, but I am sure
someone in the group
has been. Watch The
Help (fabulous
movie) for the
template for a bridge
party. Check out these
PDF:
Funco Bunco:
www.fundexgames.com/
instructions/pdf/
Bunco_Party_3840.pdf
2. Make this a THEME meeting,
perhaps: Wear pajamas, dress
backwards, have a costume
party, etc. Do something crazy!
3. Recipe Share: This is a great
meeting to share CREATIVE
recipes. Possible idea PDFs:
images.allrecipes.com/site/
allrecipes/appetizers2.pdf
http://allrecipes.com/Recipes/
appetizers-and-snacks/main.aspx
www.recipelion.com/.../39-
Appetizer-Recipes-and-Party-
Pleasers-Free-eCookbook.pdf
or google hor dourves recipes pdf.
and see what you can come up
with! This would be loads of fun.
GROUP DISCUSSION:
This meeting is the perfect time to
have ROUNDTABLE discussions
on the power of play/creativity/
special family traditions/vacation
ideas/family fun. Share and stock
up a plethora of ideas to make
family life more memorable and
fun!

- 22 -
CREATIVITY
12
Great PDF on
The Power of Play
main.zerotothree.org/
site/DocServer/
ThePowerofPlay.pdf
and great resource for
creative meal
planning (below)!
"Father, hear us, we are
praying. Hear the words our
hearts are saying. We are
praying for our children. Keep
them from the powers of evil, from
the secret hidden peril, from the whirlpool
that would suck them, from the treacherous
quicksand, pluck them. From the worldling's
hollow gladness, from the sting of faithless
sadness, Holy Father, save our children.
Through life's troubled waters steer them,
through life's bitter battle cheer them,
Father, Father, be Thou near them.
Read the language of our longing,
read the wordless pleadings thronging,
Holy Father, for our children.
And wherever they may bide,
lead them home at eventide."
-Amy Carmichael, Toward Jerusalem
For great resources on prayer for your family:
http://astore.amazon.com/janerard07-20?
_encoding=UTF8&node=4
Father, in a world where
spirituality is dressed in gray,
we pray for our homes, our
families, each heart that beats
within the four walls that serve as our
fortress of faith:
Love within, not hate.
Joy within, not sadness.
Peace within, not strife.
Patience within, not ridicule.
Kindness within, not sarcasm.
Goodness within, not oppression.
Faithfulness within, not indelity.
Gentleness within, not harshness.
Self-Control within, not chaos
(Galatians 5:22-23). And, above all else, may
we love one another deeply (1 Peter 4:8),
honor one another (Romans 12:10), and live
in harmony with one another (Romans 12:16).
In Jesus name. Amen.
-Janell Rardon
(See One Another Prayers for incredible
family prayers.)

- 23 -
Rock-Solid
Prayer for
our Families
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Leaders Kit
Now Available!
www.janellrardon.com
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In tumultuous times of economic decline, fractured
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spirituality is dressed in gray, Janell offers twelve
foundational stones on which to build a rock-solid
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Somehow she takes a serious subject, adds loads of fun
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family life, and tops it off with strong scriptural
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