Qualities of Active Listeners

Desire to be other-directed No desire to protect yourself

Desire to imagine the experience of the other

Desire to understand, not critique

Skills for Active Listening

ATTENDING Examples: Sitting forward Eye contact Explanation: Providing verbal and non-verbal awareness Nodding head

Skills for Active Listening

PARAPHRASING Examples: So what I hear you saying is . . . Explanation: Restating the persons basic verbal message.

Trying It Out
SPEAKER
Tell about some success youve had recently.

LISTENER

Practice skills: Attending / Paraphrasing

OBSERVER

Make note of active listening skills being used. Feedback.

Skills for Active Listening

REFLECTING FEELINGS Examples: Youre feeling ___. It makes you (feeling) that . . .

Explanation: Reflecting feelings that have been heard or perceived through cues.

Skills for Active Listening

PROBING Examples: What happened after that? Explanation: Questioning in a supportive way. Ask for more info or clarification Open-ended Who was there? What did they do? How did that work?

Trying It Out
SPEAKER
What is the biggest challenge of being an educator?

LISTENER

Practice skills: Paraphrase / Reflecting Feelings / Probing Make note of active listening skills being used. Feedback.

OBSERVER

Skills for Active Listening

SELF DISCLOSURE Examples: I had a similar experience . . . Explanation: Sharing relevant personal information Ive been through something like that . . . That happened to me once too . . .

Skills for Active Listening

CHECKING PERCEPTIONS Examples: It seems to me like youre pretty ____. So, you were taking some risks when you . . .

Explanation: Finding out if interpretations are accurate.

Skills for Active Listening

BEING QUIET Examples: Count to yourself. Explanation: Giving the other time to think as well as to talk

Skills for Active Listening

SUMMARIZING Examples: You told off the teacher and now youre scared . . . Youre feeling on top of the world because you got an A!

Explanation: Bringing together in some way experiences and feelings.

Trying It Out
SPEAKER
Role play: Student seeing report card (sad or happy)

LISTENER

Practice skills: Checking / Quiet / Summarizing

OBSERVER

Make note of active listening skills being used. Feedback.

Qualities of Active Listeners

Desire to be other-directed No desire to protect yourself

Desire to imagine the experience of the other

Desire to understand, not critique