Letter of Complaint: More Sample Essay and tips on elaboration of points

Your class is unhappy with your school canteen. As the monitor of your class, you have been asked to write to your principal, to complain about the following: - food left uncovered - attract many flies - food served is stale - food too expensive - oily plates and cups - rude workers - workers not properly attired - dustbins not cleared daily - same menu daily In your letter, you would also like to offer three suggestions from your classmates: - stringent checks - cheaper food - serve a variety of food When writing the letter, you should remember: - to set out the letter correctly - to include all the points given - to write in paragraphs. (35 marks) Look at the model answer below to revise the format of a formal letter and see how the points are elaborated.

The Class Monitor, Form 5 Amanah, SMK Kayu Ara Pasong, 82010 Pontian, Johore. Encik Juhair bin Jumaat, The Principal, SMK Kayu Ara Pasong, 82010 Pontian, Johore. 11 OCTOBER 2009 Dear Sir, Unsatisfactory School Canteen On behalf of the students of 5 Amanah, I would like to lodge a complaint about the school canteen. 2. First and foremost, the food served is not covered and many flies can be seen hovering over the food. This may lead to food poisoning. Moreover, the canteen also serves stale food. The nasi lemak turns bad by the time the upper forms have their recess. Last week, a few of us had diarrhoea after consuming food from the canteen. 3. Apart from that, the food is also too expensive. A small plate of fried mee costs RM1.50 and many poor students cannot afford it. Besides that, the canteen serves the same menu daily. The students are bored with fried rice and fried mee every day. 4. Another complaint is that the cups and plates are oily and not washed properly. The workers are also not appropriately attired although they have been told to wear aprons and caps. Moreover, these workers are rude to students. They shout at us and use foul language whenever they get angry. They also do not clear the dustbins and rubbish daily. This is very unhygienic. As a result, there is a foul stench whenever we eat in the canteen.

5. Thus, we would like to suggest that the school authorities make stringent checks on the canteen daily or weekly. They should also ensure that the canteen serves a variety of food at a reasonable price. We would like to appeal to your sense of fairness and hope prompt action will be taken regarding these matters. Yours faithfully, (NORLISSA BT DUSUKI) 5 Amanah Note how the points given are arranged into paragraphs and elaborated where needed. The last paragraph states the action you want taken. To elaborate on a point, you may: - give a reason - state one effect/outcome - give details - explain further with facts or statistics - give an opinion Lets look at some examples from the sample essay. 1. food left uncovered - attract many flies First and foremost, the food served is left uncovered and many flies can be seen hovering over the food. This may lead to food poisoning. Since the two points are connected, group them in one sentence. It is all right if you do not wish to use the exact words given but you must stick to the original meaning when writing. The underlined sentence are elaborated by stating one possible effect of the flies.

Remember that you only need to give a sentence or a phrase. Do not elaborate more than three or four lines. You will be wasting your time and effort. 2. same menu daily Besides that, the canteen serves the same menu daily. The students are bored with fried rice and fried mee every day. The phrase same menu is elaborated by giving a few examples. Can you identify more examples of elaboration and the methods used? Pay attention to the structures in the sample essay above. Notice how the use of First and foremost, Moreover, Apart from that, Besides that, Another complaint is and so on. These are transitional words and phrases which help to make the essay flow smoothly and to lead the reader from one point to another. You can use many other transitional words and phrases to make your essay more cohesive. 1. To add to what you have just said: also, similarly, furthermore, in addition, then, moreover, in other words, in the same way 2. To use a specific example to support what you have said: For example, especially, for instance, to illustrate, as an illustration, such as 3. To show sequence: First and foremost, first, The second advantage is, Next, Another reason is, Lastly, Finally 4. To indicate that you are about to contrast what has just been said: but, on the other hand, yet, nevertheless, on the contrary, however 5. To indicate a conclusion: In conclusion, consequently, thus, therefore, in summary, therefore, as a result

WORDS AND SENTENCES FOR NARRATIVES

Base form Actions explode flash (flashing) exploded flashed exploded flashed crashed rescued saved arrived driven gone returned stopped The car/a bomb exploded. The light was flashing repeatedly. The cars crashed into each other in the middle of the intersection. rescue (rescuing) rescued save (saving) Movement arrive (arriving) drive (driving) go (going) arrived drove went The thief disappeared before the police arrived. While I was driving to school, I witnessed an accident. I was going to school when I saw something terrible. return (returning) returned stop (stopping) stopped As I was returning home, I thought about what had happened. The cars stopped honking their horns. I stopped to help the injured men. Sounds & Senses shout (shouting) shouted shouted All the people were shouting. Everybody started screaming when bomb exploded. yell (yelling) ring (ringing) hear see yelled rang heard saw yelled rung heard seen listened The police yelled at the man who was trying to escape. I was sleeping when suddenly the telephone rang. I was about to start my exam when I heard a loud explosion. I saw something unusual as I was going home one day. listen (listening) listened My friend listened as I told him my saved The ambulance rescued the injured men. A helicopter saved the injured. Simple past Past participle Sample Sentences

crash (crashing) crashed

scream (screaming) screamed screamed

strange story. watch (watching) watched Base form watched I was watching TV when suddenly a car crashed through my wall. Simple past Past participle thought spoken told reported Sample sentences (Reported) speech think (about/that) thought speak (speaking) spoke tell (telling) told I thought something terrible had happened. I spoke to the journalist about what had happened. I told the police exactly what had happened. report (reporting) reported The newspaper reported that three people were killed and five injured. ask (asking) Other verbs try (trying) tried tried I tried to call the police but couldn't get a signal on my handphone. set up (setting up) set up camp (camping) camped set up camped slept wailed We had just set up camp when a big group of camels arrived. We camped at the bottom of a big sand dune. sleep (sleeping) slept wail (wailing) wailed We were just falling asleep when a huge explosion lit up the sky. Soon we heard a siren wailing loudly. asked asked The ambulance crew asked me what had happened.

Useful time phrases Last year/last summer/month/week/yesterday

After an hour One week ago After a few minutes On that day Suddenly/out of the blue

Adjectives for expressing feelings I felt afraid (of/to) sad (about) scared (to) surprised (to) upset (about) I felt delighted (about/to) excited (about/to) happy (about/to)

Other useful sentences I woke up late and rushed to school but on the way there something terrible happened. I was waiting for the traffic light to turn green when suddenly I called the police and told them what I'd seen/what had happened. The car had flipped over and it looked like it was about to explode. Unfortunately, I had a car accident. I was covered with blood and badly injured. The police came to investigate. They caught the criminal and threw him in jail. Cars were honking and people were shouting because they were angry about Just then, I witnessed an accident. The car in front of me had crashed into a telephone pole. Suddenly I heard a loud noise. I thought it was just the t.v. at first but it sounded like it was coming from the closet in my room. What was inside it? I went outside to see what the problem was. Some kids were playing with fireworks. While I was calling my neighbour, the power was cut out of the blue.

I promised myself I would never do that again.

LEARN A WORD A DAY

scavenger

discuss

Definition: (noun) Someone who collects things that have been discarded by others. Synonyms: pack rat, magpie Usage: A devoted scavenger, Harold refused to buy a new sofa, opting instead to search for one that had been abandoned by its previous owner at the curb.

Showing newest posts with label Continuous Writing. Show older posts Showing newest posts with label Continuous Writing. Show older posts
Friday, October 28, 2011

Continuous Writing: Descriptive - Sample Essay

DESCRIBE YOUR TEACHERS

Teachers play an important part in the lives of students like me because we usually meet them five days a week. Some of my teachers fill my soul with fear, the very thought of them even makes my heart drop. There are others, however, who are not so frightening at all, and may in act brighten our days. One teacher who is liked by almost every pupil in my school is Mrs Jenny Lee, who teaches us English. Tall and slim, with a heart-shaped face, Mrs Lee is known as the prettiest teacher in our of school. The boys of my school often look out their classrooms to admire this lovely teacher as she passes by their classrooms, gliding on her high heels, with her long silky hair flowing behind her. Mrs Lee has a personality to match her looks. You will nearly always see her face wreathed in a sunny smile. She almost never gets angry and even when she scolds us, she still sounds sweet and gentle. I clearly remember the last time she chided me for not doing my composition homework. How will you ever improve if you dont make the effort, Brian, she murmured kindly, looking at me with warm eyes. I felt so sorry! Another teacher who has made me feel really sorry for neglecting my work is Mr Joginder Singh, my teacher for Accounts. However, his method for doing so is completely different! Mr Singh is a huge mountain of a man. He is over six feet in height and over 200 pounds in weight, all of it muscle. He looks the typical Punjabi warrior, with his turban, bushy beard, hooked nose, and piercing eyes. As in the case of Mrs Lee, Mr Singh's looks also match his personality, especially his voice, which is always very loud. He is about the only teacher I know who can deliver an hour-long lesson at full volume without getting a sore throat! No one falls asleep during his lessons. Actually, no one would dare to, as this fierce teacher would take quick action with his long cane. No one ever dares to neglect the homework that he sets either the piles and piles of it! Mr Singhs motto is No pain, no gain. I am not sure whether he is referring to the pain from the cane or the pain from doing the homework. Yet, however much we students may complain, there is no doubt that many students have gained tremendously from being under Mr Singhs care. Our schools performance in Accounts for SPM is exceptionally high! Clearly, Mr Singhs motto is a sound one. However, it can also be noted that our performance in English Language is also considered excellent. Perhaps, Mrs Lees motto is also valid, and it is A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.

You might also like: Michelle on Tape: Narrative - Sample essay Continuous Writing: Homework form 4 & 5 Test yourself: Sonnet 18 - Trial Mara 2010 Sample Report PMR Transitions
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POSTED BY TORAIPSI86UM96 AT 6:27 AM 0 COMMENTS LABELS: CONTINUOUS WRITING, SAMPLE ESSAYS

Continuous Writing: Narrative - Sample Essay

A FRIEND

What happened? I could hear myself asking this question over and over again. As I slowly regained consciousness, I found myself in hospital. The past flashed through my mind. I realized with horror what must have happened. Ismail and I are the best of friends who have lived in the same neighbourhood for umpteen years. In school, we have always joined the same sport cross-country. The two of us never failed to jog every morning in the park. We especially liked jogging along the path by the big river. One fine morning, we went jogging by the river as usual. We were jogging slowly as we talked about the coming inter-school cross-country competition. I said, Peter is bound to be one of the two to be chosen to represent our school. I wonder which one of us will be the other lucky person. Ismail suddenly stopped jogging and looked uncomfortable. His voice faltered as he spoke, Karim, I dont want to keep it from you any longer. Mr. Lim has already told me that Peter and I were chosen. My face dropped. All my wild dreams of being the inter-school cross-country champion were shattered. If only I had practised more often, if only if only Ismail were not such a good runner. I was so overwhelmed with disappointment that when Ismail came over to comfort me, I pushed him away roughly. He lost his balance and grabbed at me for support. We

screamed as we both fell into the river. The next thing I remember was being in hospital. Friends and relatives who came visit me later told me that they knew. Ismail had saved, risking his own life as he was not strong swimmer. His knees were injured while trying to save me. I felt exceedingly ashamed of myself. I had put Ismails life in danger through my unreasonable, childish behavior. Yet, he had saved me. As a result of his knee injury, Ismail would not be able to represent the cross-country race. This made me feel worse than ever. I have, since that incident, resolved to make it all up to him in whatever way I can. I will try my best to be true friend to him as he has been to me. You might also like: Continuous Writing: Descriptive - Sample Essay Continuous Writing: Narrative - Sample Essay Michelle on Tape: Narrative - Sample essay Continuous Writing: Sample - Narrative Continuous Writing: Sample essay
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P O S T E D B Y T O R A I P S I 8 6 U M 9 6 A T 6:24 AM 0 comments L A B E L S : Continuous Writing, Sample Essays

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Continuous Writing: Narrative - Sample Essay

A BROKEN PROMISE

Why is this mathematics exercise tougher than usual? It is taking me forever to finish it even though I started at eight oclock. Now it is already 10 oclock and I am not even halfway through. I kept glancing at my computer at the corner of my room. It looked so inviting, making me unsure whether to continue my homework or to just stop and go online. It look me exactly two seconds to make up my mind. I am going online! Obviously from my decision, you know that I am an internet freak. I am willing to do anything (including procrastinating my mathematics homework, even though I know very well my teacher is Mr. Fitzgerald, or more popularly known as Mr. Fitz the Bald. May God help those who dare to mess up with him!). O.K., so I am a self-confessed internet addict but

at least I am computer literate! I absolutely adore computers but my greatest love has got to be the Internet Relay Chat (IRC). This is because it gave me a sense of freedom and exhilaration, unlike anything I have experienced before. You can be a supermodel, an astronaut or the local zoo keeper and no one would even know the difference. When I sat in front of the monitor and clicked on the IRC programme, a short but unique name caught my eye. Neo. I said hi and introduced myself. I was ecstatic when Neo answered and turned out to be a great conversationalist and we hit it off immediately. We chatted about everything and I felt as though I had known him since the dawn of time. It never occurred to me to get back to my homework and by the time I did, it was already too late. Realizing this, I dreaded the next day because that was when I had to brace myself for the impact of Mr. Fitz the Balds blashing. I could picture him now, nostrils flared, sweat trickling down his forehead, the gestures of his hand animating his words, eyes that shine with a wild black fire and a head shinier than usual (sometimes you can even see his veins becoming visible and that makes his complexion become a weird shade of red). God, please help me! The next day was a living hell. Everybody was mad at me and I was mad at myself. I just wanted to shout it out to the world, I am a victim of modern civilization!. Then, to relieve my stress, I went out online and Neo was there. He asked me about my day and I told him how I overslept and missed the bus to school, how Mr. Fitz the Bald punished me in front of the whole class and how the class shunned and threw a cold glaring look at me because they had to complete ten exercises which were due the following day just because I failed to complete my work. He just listened to me and was very understanding and supportive. He even sent me a bouquet of virtual flowers to cheer me up and I was touched. It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. We continued to be friend for a whole month without even knowing how the other looked like but this teeny-weeny fact did not bother me at all. But then, one day Neo told me he would really like to meet me because he felt as if were friends faceless voices. I tried every trick in the book but I could not dodge his request. He noticed my effort and he demanded why I was acting that way. I could not explain why and so I finally gave in. our meeting was set, he was supposed to wear a navy blue shirt, khakis and brown leather shoes. When he described what he was going to wear, I ealized that he must be quite rich to dress so elegantly. As for me, I was just going to settle on a red blouse and my faded blue jeans. We agreed to meet in front of Starbucks coffee house at two oclock, two days from now.

Surely you must be wondering why did I not want to meet him. I was afraid that if he knew how I looked like, he would not have interest in being my friend anymore because I was not like other normal teenagers, so vibrant and full of life. When others ran, I lagged behind because my artificial leg could not stand much pressure. The truth is, I was not born handicapped but lost my leg on a mountain expedition last year. I was helping my friend up the ravine but I slipped and fell. I was alive but my right leg was severely injured and had to be amputated. That is why I now have a prosthetic leg. I have felt wonderful it was to be normal and it makes the pain much harder to bear. My old life which full of physical activities, seemed like a passing wind, never to come again. I was not fit anymore to join my friends and that threw my confidence out of the window. I was afraid Neo would not accept me. The next day, my mind was occupied with thoughts of him and his reaction. So, to ease my mind, I made him promise not to judge me by my appearance but by my inside me. I did not tell him the truth because I wanted to know if he was sincere in his friendship. When the moment finally came, I was ready for anything. When I arrived, I noticed a fine looking young man that fits Neos description. When I said fine looking, I was not kidding. He came with his friend, so before I approached him, I studied him first. He was athletically built and tall with mocha coloured skin. His hair was neat and it looked as though it was woven from the hues of midnight sky. His eyes, brown and alert but with certain mysterious glint. It made him looked arrogant and egoistical. I could see that he was so anxious and restless that even his friends comforting words could not help to soothe him. Slowly, I walked up to him and introduced myself. I smiled at him but I could see that he was shocked to see my condition and he failed to hide it. He babbled something indecipherable. He asked how I was and we chatted a little but he seemed restless, I looked at him knowingly and then he glanced at his wristwatch. He excused himself and said that he had to go. Neos friend looked at him in disbelief but Neo ignored his glance. Neo promised to call me later then he hurriedly left. It happened so fast and before I realized it, he was gone. Neo had failed the test. He could not handle the truth, so it was better to let him go. There was no sense in postponing the inevitable. I knew he would never call me again. I knew that our first meeting was also our last. There would be no next time. He had broken his promise and maybe it was true that broken promise lead to broken hearts. Even though I have been through similar situations before, it still hurts. But I will still keep trying because I believe that even when the darkest moments dawns, it comes with the promise of a new day.

I just have to move and live with the fact that sometimes, people are not what they seem to be. Thanks to Neo, I know it now. So, as I sat at the corner of the table at Starbucks, looking out the window, I saw a group of teenage girls giggling as if laughing at a secret joke. How I envy them! I looked at them as they passed by and then I reflected on what had happened. I looked down at my coffee and saw my reflection. Then suddenly a tear trickled down my cheek and fell into the coffee, obscuring my reflection. You might also like: Continuous Writing: Sample Essay Michelle on Tape: Narrative - Sample essay Young People as A Force For Change Narrative Essays: Sample Continuous Writing: Sample - Narrative
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P O S T E D B Y T O R A I P S I 8 6 U M 9 6 A T 8:05 PM 0 comments L A B E L S : Continuous Writing, Sample Essays

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Continuous Writing: Sample - Narrative

I was strapped in my seat I was strapped in my seat, ready for takeoff. There was a deep rumbling sound as the engines prepared to start. My hands clenched the armrest, sweating in excitement. I heard a countdown. Beside me, Allan screamed in uncontrolled joy. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Blastoff! We looked ahead, and the vehicle lurched forward, and suddenly we were shot like a dart towards the stars. Our jaws vibrated and we screamed, feeling the gravity pulling down on our bodies. Suddenly, the craft shook, and we saw laser bursts right in front of our screen. The computer announced that we received damage on one of our rockets. Allan looked at me in fear; he did not expect this to happen. We saw spacecraft of unknown origins flying towards us, then suddenly there was a bright flash and an explosion. Sparks flew around us and smoke sprayed out of broken pipes. Allan and I were shocked, unable to do anything as we were

strapped tight. We watched horror as our craft turned sideways and we fell back towards earth. As we fell down, we could feel the heat of the craft as it burned through the atmosphere. The vibration shook our jaws once more, and we screamed in anticipation of what would happen if we hit the ground. Suddenly the computer uttered some jargon, and our descent slowed down. We slowed down then glided safely to our base, visible in a distance. There was a voice, and it told us that they will bring us into their base for repairs. There was another voice, this time its Allans looks like were not leaving Earth this time he said. We unbuckled our straps and stepped out of the cockpit That, was the best simulation ride Ive ever been on! said Allan. I replied Yeah totally! It felt so real. Remind me to thank your uncle for a wonderful weekend Uncle John greeted us not far from here, and we burst into a hailstorm of screams and excitement as we told uncle John about his new simulator ride. Escape From earth was one of the few rides uncle John had designed for his park. It was the state-of-the-art simulation ride and the most advance in the world. There were not many people in this park. It was located in a private island off the coast of Costa Rica. Uncle John is a wealthy businessman, and he had spent almost all of his fortune into this one amusement park. This park, he claimed, will turn all other theme parks in the world obsolete. The theme park was due to open to the world next year, and I was one of the few who was given the privilege to witness its wonders. Almost everything here is automatic, from conveyor belt sidewalks, to automated burger stalls. There were only a few maintenance workers here and there. This park, cleverly named The Lost World was advanced, mysterious and isolated from the world. Alan and I were cousins. That is why Im here with him now, on this island where no man once dared to venture in. We were testing out the rides to see how great it is. So far, everything was out of this world. Journey to The

Center of the Earth was arguably one of the best rides. With the combination of the latest 3D screens and technology, the experience was surreal. We walked into a cave and as we walked further into the cave, we could see changed in the wall as we passed cavemen paintings and fossils. Suddenly we feel down a deep hole and we saw another world, filled with giant trees and animals. We saw a giant tiger about 2 meters tall, then it chased us. We ran into a cave just next to the place we fell from. And suddenly the cave entrance collapsed behind us. We walked straight and then we found ourselves walking out of the same cave we entered. Uncle John explained that with advance motion sensors and conveyor belts, we had not really moved more that 10 meters from the cave entrance. The tiger was an animation, a robot with lifelike movements. I was impressed beyond my imaginations. From then on, Allan and I were prepared for all 10 rides in the park. For the next two days, we had fun testing out the various rides. There was the Speed Demon, a roller coaster that rocked back and forth with the tracks, and it went in all directions, up, down, left, right, upside down and in a loop at speeds of more than 70 km/h. There was also the Jungle Survival Boat, where we had to use special air rifles to fire upon native Indians as they attacked us while we traveled with the river. The native Indians were robotic and they never move in a same way for each ride. Allan shot an Indian with his rifle and the Indian fell with a realistic scream. At night, we had a scrumptious dinner by the moonlight atop a building that rises over the trees. The roof were open aired, and we could see the island blanketed by a thick layer of mist, so the only thing we could see is the mist and the sky. It gave off a feeling of being in the clouds. Most of the hotel were not completed, but we got a room that was abit larger than mine, and it was luxurious. Then, faster than we could blink our eye, the day for departure came. Uncle John called us to the deck to go back home with him, as they just came there for an inspection. We were sad to leave this wonderful place, but we got onto the ship, and we looked back at the island in sadness, wondering if

we would ever come back to the island again. Our fears came true when a few months later the news announced about an ice shelt in Antarctica that would soon break off and fall into the sea creating a giant tsunami of about 30 meters high. Uncle John quickly called to evacuate everything on the island to the mainland, with the rides as the top priority. Workmen worked as quickly as they could and evacuated most of the rides onto a ship. With the tsunami nearing, they could not save most of the rides and the ship left dock just a few hours before the tsunami hit the island, destroying almost everything without mercy. Only the finished part of the hotel survived, the rest of the park were flattened.
You might also like: Continuous Writing: Narrative - Sample Essay Young People as A Force For Change Narrative Essays: Sample Continuous Writing: Sample Essay Continuous Writing: Sample - Narrative
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P O S T E D B Y T O R A I P S I 8 6 U M 9 6 A T 7:48 PM 0 comments L A B E L S : Continuous Writing, Sample Essays

Continuous Writing: Sample - Narrative

My father used to ask me a question, Chloe, what do you want to be when you grow up? it was just like any other conversation between a father and daughter, not at all significant or poignant. Like any other ambitious teenager, I remembered answering him. a pilot of course. I want to fly planes and go around the world. I see. What about a gardener, like me? my father asked. No way! I exclaimed. Sure it was fun to grow flowers and shrubs like my father used to do, but I did not want to end up like him. Not even for all the tea in China. After a few years, I landed a job at the airport and got married to a fine charming man. His name was Thomas. When we had children, I was

forced to think twice between my career and my children. That was how I end up becoming a homemaker. I think that mothers should stay at home to look after their children. By that, mothers are able to give their full love and attention to their children according to their needs. Children will receive full care from the mother and guidance. Nothing in this world can substitute a mothers love for her child, I can tell you that. However, on the other hand, I would not say fathers make bad homemakers as well. After all, how hard can cleaning the house, doing the laundry or taking care of the children be? No that easy I tell you. If women can match men career wise, becoming doctors and accountants, surely men could also do the same, no? the thing is, fathers can do almost the same, but most fathers do not. Bear in mind, I used the word almost. History always pictures women to be at home, doing household chores. We cannot deny that. Thus, there has got to be a reason for the occurrence. You see, one main advantage that most women have over men is their ability to multi-task. A really capable mother could clean the floor, talk to the children, while waiting for the lunch to be fully cooked. Try putty a typical man into the picture. Do not ask me why, we are just born that way. Research have also been carried out about the effects of parental care on a child. It is proven that children whose parents stay at home are more likely to succeed than those who have working parents. Children with working parents have a higher risk of engaging in social issues. As a result of negligence, these children seek attention by getting involved in immoral activities. Thus, mothers who stay at home can supervise their child. Remember when I said I never wanted to end up a gardener like my father? I ended up being like him anyway. Every day, I nourish my plants and watch my children grow, hoping that one day they will become someone successful.

By becoming a full-time housewife, I let my ambition of becoming a pilot fly, knowing that I gained something more. I have never regretted my decision until now, even if you are to ask me again, whether mothers should stay at home to look after their children. I know, because I grew the seeds of tomorrow, just like my father.
You might also like: Continuous Writing: Narrative - Sample Essay Continuous Writing: Sample - Narrative Narrative Essays: Sample Continuous Writing: Sample Essay Continuous Writing: Sample essay
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P O S T E D B Y T O R A I P S I 8 6 U M 9 6 A T 7:46 PM 0 comments L A B E L S : Continuous Writing, Sample Essays

Continuous Writing: Homework form 4 & 5

Write a composition of about 350 words on one of the following topics using the given guidelines:

1. Dreams 2. The hand phone is useful. Do you agree? 3. My Idol 4. Describe an unforgettable holiday 5. Write a short story with the ending as Thats me. 1. Dreams - Discuss the topic as a narrative composition unless you have enough information to treat it like a factual essay Introduction Do your dreams come true? Poor boy but ambitious worked very hard at workshop

Repaired bicycles, motorcycles, cars

Body grew up enough savings-opened own workshop persevered expand business imported spare parts for vehicles supplied to other workshops

Conclusion became a wealthy man despite being uneducated willing to persevere and sacrifice dreams do come true

2. The hand phone is useful. Do you agree? This is an argumentative essay and it requires you to make a stand. Introduction - example; Your stand : Agree Body Give reasons i.e the benefits of the hand phone convenient can contact parents when necessary public phones unreliable-vandalised during an emergency to impart news quickly

Conclusion - state your stand again

3. My Idol

This is a descriptive essay. Introduction state who your idol is describe the physical features of this person describe the persons character which is peculiar to him/her give reasons why you idolise this person give amusing anecdotes to make this essay interesting

Conclusion Emphasize the fact that he/she is your idol 4. Describe an unforgettable holiday This is a descriptive essay Introduction - state the place and the time

Body Describe the physical features of this person describe an unexpected incident that happened during the holiday, it could be either a tragic or a happy one e.g a tragic incident drowned/lost in a jungle a happy one - a surprise birthday party/get to meet someone you admire Conclusion Emphasize that it was an unforgettable holiday, one you can never forget for the rest of your life 5. Write a short story with the ending as Thats me. Introduction Introduce yourself and describe yourself.

Body State one of your negative traits e.g selfishness Relate one or two incidents to demonstrate your selfishness Then, describe one major incident that happened due to your selfishness e.g had to look after two-year old brother - watched T.V, called friend to come over - forgot about brother - brother in kitchen - heard scream - went to kitchen to find brother scalded

Conclusion regretted gets emotional every time sees brothers scar end essay with Thats me.

You might also like: The River: Exercise Analysis of past years questions and ..... prediction and tips- Guided Writing PMR Are You Still Playing Your Flute? More Notes Sample Report PMR Test yourself: Sonnet 18 - Trial Mara 2010
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P O S T E D B Y T O R A I P S I 8 6 U M 9 6 A T 7:30 PM 0 comments L A B E L S : Continuous Writing, Homework Form 4, Homework Form 5

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Continuous Writing: Sample - Narrative

I felt faint. I could not believe what I was hearing. I wanted to die. The news was unbelievable. The alarming school bell rang meaning the end of another tedious and exhausting day of school. I made my way home taking all the possible shortcuts. As I was a few yards away, I heard a crowds chattering and a familiar voice like my dads. I started walking faster.

I squeezed my way through the crowd. I noticed a body lying on the floor covered with a white, blood stained sheet. I started shouting at my dad not noticing his handcuffed hands. Whats happening? I screamed Nothing it is just a misunderstanding dear He answered hesitatingly What Is? I was then taken aside by two police men. They told me everything. Your mum is dead said the tall one The word dead echoed in my head. I could not believe what I was hearing. My poor beloved mums soul was under the sheet. My dad murdered her. I dared not to lift the sheet. But then I did and gave her a soft kiss on her cheek. She was taken to hospital by an ambulance, and as for my dad, he was taken to the police station for further investigations. How could he? I will never forgive him. I was left all on my own. No one to look after me. I was taken in to social care until my aunt comes. We have informed your aunt Betty of what has happened. Said the social worker. She had a shock and so she needs to recover so she will come to get you after a few days.

It was obvious that I will never be able to live with my dad. He is a murderer. I will never forget and forgive what he done to her, however I never thought that the day will come and he will murder her. After a few days the social worker told me to get ready. She said my relative Tea Sea Ting will be coming to get me to live with her. Then I remembered. Aunt Tea Sea Ting! She was the woman that I hated in the whole universe. It was absolutely impossible for me to live with her. She is a cruel cold hearted woman. She used to think that I was very much spoilt thats why I never got any or birthday present from her. She also said once that I had no manners

and was an absolute disgrace to the family. Living with an aunt like that is complicated. She lives in northern Johore and I live in the east. I was always happy to think that she was far way and that I will never see her again. The car parked right outside her bungalow. My hands started shaking with fear. As I came out of the car she gave me a you will regret it face. I entered the house and then she showed me my room. She was gentle with me at that moment since the social worker was there. However when the social worker left, she started picking on me. It was like I was living in hell. She would say that it was my fault that my dad killed my mum and that when I grow I will be like him. A murderer. It is in your blood she said one day. My life started to be complicated. I started to wet the bed from fear and nightmares of my mum. That led to more complications since she would get the chance to pick on me. I had to leave my school from east Johore and go to a dump near hers. School and home lives were hell. The thought of me never seeing my mum ever again was heartbreaking, but the thought of living with Aunt Tea Sea Ting all my life was like rain without clouds same as me without my mum. My Life Is Always Going To Stay Complicated. You might also like: Continuous Writing: Narrative - Sample Essay Continuous Writing: Sample Essay Narrative Essays: Sample Young People as A Force For Change Continuous Writing: Sample essay
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P O S T E D B Y T O R A I P S I 8 6 U M 9 6 A T 8:34 PM 0 comments L A B E L S : Continuous Writing, Sample Essays

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Writing a narrative essay

THE NARRATIVE COMPOSITION A narrative is a story with a sequence of connected events. It could be about a personal experience or an imagined event or events. Lets look at some typical exam questions: 1. Write a story of a man who returns to his home after many years. 2. The day I lost my temper. 3. Write a story ending with, I shall never forget this day for the rest of my life. 4. Write about an occasion when you got into trouble. 5. Write a story beginning with, I could not believe my eyes. How do I write a narrative essay for the exam?

ACTION PLAN: (1 hour) A. Planning = 15 minutes B. Writing = 35 minutes C. Checking = 10 minutes This plan is for those who are quite weak in English. For those who are proficient, you may only need 10 minutes for planning. This is how we do it. A. PLANNING Lets say you have chosen question 3, - Write a story ending with, I shall never forget this day for the rest of my life. 1. Read the question carefully and underline important phrases. Pay particular attention to the ending. 2. Brainstorm for ideas and jot down notes. For exam purposes, the simplest way is to divide it into three parts: i. ii. iii.

B. WRITING THE ESSAY Now that you have got the skeleton of your story, it is time to begin writing. Use linkers and phrases which link the events to move your story in a chronological order. Some phrases that are suitable are: It was very dark. I will never forget .. A few minutes later. Suddenly, When the disaster happened, .. Use sensory details to reveal the events and to get the reader involved. Do not merely tell but show the events through words and phrases. Example: a. I went into the restaurant. b. I walked into the restaurant. c. I sauntered into the restaurant. Sentence a. merely states that I went into the restaurant and sentence b. gives a little more information as to how I went into the restaurant. Sentence c. uses a more specific word to show clearly the idea of how I went into the restaurant. Sentence c. allows the reader to see what I am doing. The word sauntered means to stroll. It gives the image of a person walking slowly into the restaurant. Thus, sentence c. is more effective in narrative and descriptive writing. C. CHECKING Read your essay once through and check for the following things: Is the spelling accurate? Is the punctuation appropriate? Did you use too many commas in a sentence? Did you vary the sentence structure? Are your sentences too long? Does one thought follow the next in a logical order? Did you stick to the topic? Did you use words so that your reader could experience the incident?

 Did you use the appropriate tense of the verb throughout? Make any corrections neatly.
You might also like: Step by Step Essay Writing Guide by Goodessays Directed Writing Guide Directed Writing Guide - Language Narrative Essays WRITING BETTER PARAGRAPHS
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P O S T E D B Y T O R A I P S I 8 6 U M 9 6 A T 5:30 AM 2 comments L A B E L S : Continuous Writing, Exam Tips, Tips, Writing Guide

An "A" script for continuous writing

An 'A'script has the following features: 1. accurate language - few slips only, no serious errors like errors in tenses. 2. accurate spelling across the board 3. precise vocabulary - do not be too obsessed with idioms and flowery phrases. many students use bombastic words but it is not suitable. 4. interesting and original...write from the heart 5. correct tone - if it is formal, then use a formal tone, if it is a friendly letter, then it should sound informal... Go on and write your imaginative essays but be careful about your errors. Do not write too long. Leave about 10 minutes for editing.

If you are good in English, try to write an original piece instead of memorising. If someone else happens to write the same essay or if the examiner has read it before, then, you might get lower marks.

Some students memorise essays and produce a perfect piece. However, when examiners read their directed writing, their language is not as good as the continuous writing. Therefore, your marks for continuous writing will be lowered.

Tips: 1. Do not memorise whole essays and try to fit it into the given titles. You may try to memorise certain phrases or interesting introductions but if your language does not match the directed writing, your marks will be pulled down. 2. Write about what you know. For example, if your interest is football, then write a story about football. If you like Korean drama, write something Korean, making use of your knowledge and vocabulary. Originality will get you more marks. 3. If you are quite weak in narrative writing, go for the reflective or factual essays.