The first step in anger management for children is to help your children understand when anger begins.

Alert them to the physical symptoms of mounting anger.

Anger makes you breathe faster. Anger makes your face turn red. Anger makes your muscles tense and your skin feel tight.

Anger Management Tips for Children 1. Refocus. Take a deep breath and count to ten. If you're still angry, count further or count backwards from 10 to one. o If a school assignment is too hard, don't get angry; get help from a parent or teacher. o Get a hug... or give one when you feel angry. 2. Sometimes you may not be able to put their anger into words. Take some crayons and put it on paper. Draw a picture of why you're angry (or a picture of anger) 3. Reward your child with your attention when they control their anger. Go outside and run around the house five times fast. We'll talk when you come back in! Finally, tell your child that everyone (even you) gets angry. Part of being a good role model is letting your children know that you are susceptible to anger, too. Let your child know about a time when you were angry and anger management helped you successfully resolve the problem in a positive way. 1. Think of five things that always make you angry or annoy you. These are anger triggers and they can range from small annoyances to volcanic events. For instance, an anger trigger may be a finger-drumming acquaintance, a neighbourhood barking dog, a driver who cuts you off in traffic, or just the stop-go frustration of rush hour on an Interstate highway. 2. Rate the five triggers from one to five as to how much they irritate you. 3. How do you react to each trigger? Some negative reactions are in the list below: A. Do you get into physical fights with others? B. Do you punch, hit, or kick inanimate objects or pets? Getting physical is never a long-term solution to problems. If either A or B is a common reaction to anger, consider finding help in an anger management class, a support group, or through private counselling.

C. Do you frequently slam doors, sometimes to the point of damaging them? D. Do you throw, break, or destroy objects to relieve your anger? E. Do you stomp your feet in anger? Although none of these solves the problems that made us angry, you can adapt them to help relieve some of the adrenaline that makes anger erupt. Find a safe place and tantrum away! After you're calm again, examine what happened and use anger management strategies and anger management techniques to keep it from happening again. F. Do you yell until you're hoarse? Do you often say things that you regret later? G. Do you face confrontation with sarcasm? H. Do you often say things that you later regret?

I. Do you shy away from confrontation? Do you keep your feelings to yourself? J. Do you brood over the unfairness or hopelessness of situations? K. Do you say, "We'll talk about it later" and never do? An excellent beginning anger management strategy is a small change in your environment. Even a 15-20 minutes environment change, can make a big change in your perspective. Anger Management Strategy #1: Changing Your Environment 1. If you usually spend your day indoors, make a point to spend some personal time outdoors. Putter in your yard or take a walk. The fresh air will do you good, both physically and mentally. If you work mostly outdoors, spend some personal, private time indoors. Go home, put your feet up and relax. 2. If you spend the day in physical labor, give yourself a "quiet time". Sit on a park bench and watch the world go by or sit in your favorite chair and let your tired muscles relax. If you spend most of your day in a sit-down job, get those lethargic muscles moving! After work, take some time to walk, run and exercise to feel a surge of renewed energy in both mind and body! 3. If you spend your day in noise, make sure your "quiet time" is quiet. Give yourself a chance to calm down and clear the chaos from your thoughts.

If you spend your day where the silence is deafening, go home and pump up the volume! Listen to the radio, play a CD, watch half-hour of television. Get your mind off your problems! Anger Management Strategy #2: Learn to Recognize Your Anger Activators When you're reasonably calm, take a few minutes to examine recent times when your anger flared. Jot them down. Don't relive each; just look for what triggered your anger - your anger activators. What started you simmering and when did you boil over? What effect did your temper flares have on those around you and most importantly, you? What resulted from your anger? Let this be the beginning of your anger log or anger diary. Each day, "log" occurrences of your anger and their triggers. You'll likely find that many of the same things are making you see red everyday. For instance, a lot of folks start each day confronted by the harsh, irritating beeping of an alarm clock. If you're one of them, consider changing its tune. Set a clock radio to music instead of alarm or purchase an alarm that starts with a quiet pulse and slowly increases in intensity. Anger Management Strategy #3: The Serenity Prayer "God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The Courage to change the things we can, And the Wisdom to know the difference."

Find a safe spot. Yelling at friends or family members, slamming doors, and breaking crockery doesn't solve any problem and frequently escalates angry situations between people. Yet, sometimes you just need to vent. Finding a safe spot to act our your anger can relieve the majority of your stress, calming you enough to solve the real problem at hand. Go to a basement room and scream your head off! Take an empty jar to your basement and break it, (remember to sweep up when you're done). Stomp on a few aluminum cans. Throw a tennis ball at the garage wall. Buy a punching bag.

Breath Deep. Anger often begins when we feel weaker than we really are. Molehills loom like mountains. Taking a few deep breaths calms you, makes you feel stronger both mentally and physically, and can cut those mountains down to size!

Count to ten. Sounds simple, but counting to ten is an anger management tip that has worked for centuries! The Roman poet Horace (65 - 8 BCE) said, "When angry, count ten before you speak; if very angry, one hundred." Counting to ten (or one hundred) helps you to step back from the situation, buys time for you to examine the problem and decide on an effective, rational way to express your anger.

Give yourself a break. It's easier to think when you're calm than when you're agitated. Leave the room, take a walk, 'whistle a happy tune'. Then come back to the problem, examine it, and solve it. Look for the sweet spot. Learn to act and not react. Although every cloud doesn't have a silver lining, when life hands you a lemon, you can make lemonade and when you get angry, you can find a positive way to express it! This one is good to use at home. Get an egg timer. When you sense a tantrum coming on, set the timer and yell "Jump!" or another activity. The idea is to do as many jumping jacks as possible in thirty seconds. Lengthen it to a minute and he'll be too tired to throw a tantrum or argue. Make grumpy faces in the mirror. It will be hilarious! When you begin to get angry to think of what you look like right then, and ask yourself if the situation is really worth all that. In time, you will begin to realize you should save your mad face for really important things. Tell yourself good things when you feel bad about yourself. Affirmations repeated 3 times, such as "I like myself" or "I am a good person", "Things will get better" will offer you comfort.

One minute relaxors:

Arm SquishAdult firmly squeezes arms to body, starting near the shoulders and working your way down to wrist level Shoulder PushFirmly push straight down on top of shoulders (not squeeze, simply push down) Hands on HeadInstruct student to interlock fingers and place on top of head, pushing down firmly Hands Together Place hands together, palm to palm and press together Knee PushPlace hands on knees, making sure knee is directly over ankle and feet are on the floor, and press down Feet into FloorPush feet down into floor Finger Squeezesqueeze each whole finger one by one Individual Finger Squeeze knuckle by knuckle squeeze each part of the finger, working through all of the fingers individually Thumb MassageFind the soft squishy part between the thumb and the hand and massage it

Self Hugwrap your arms across the front of the chest and give yourself a firm squeeze Hands Under Chininterlock the fingers of the hands together to provide a platform, place under the chin and push gently up while the chin is pressed down Progressive relaxation technique Jingle for it: Pull your hands into very tight fists. Ahh, let them go with a swish, swish, swish. Squeeze tight, tight, tight with all your might. Now just relax and make them light. Curl your toes into a ball. Now let them go, release them all. Squeeze tight, tight, tight with all your might. Now just relax and make them light. Have your child lie down in a comfortable place on the floor. 2. Gently touch your childs toes like this: Touch One: Tense Your Toes, squeeze tight tight tight with all your might. Touch Two: Toes Let Go, melt, melt melt your toe muscles into the floor. Relax and let go. Do this for the entire body and help kids understand that they have a magic wand in their minds and can relax their body whenever and wherever they choose to. Act as if they just ran over your favorite toy with the car *Tell them about a horrible haircut you just received *Ask them to clean up after a pet accident in the house *Sing them a lullaby and put them to sleep *Explain that you love their new wardrobe *Relate your disgust at a new food for dinner *Tell them the story about your cat being stuck in a tree and rescued by the fire department *Show them how to clean the birdcage or fish tank