Jayplay

April 26, 2007

And why Kim wAllAce cherished her fAthers presence At high school grAduAtion. pAge 19
Why
kansas?
internAtionAl
students At Ku
pAge 7
Fresh Food
the culinAry
opportunities of
spring produce
pAge 9
Parent
Problems
how to Avoid
fighting with the
rents
pAge 10
02

JAYPLAY 04.26.2007 VOLUME 4, ISSUE 28
ABLE
t
JAYPLAYERS
EDITORS MAKIN IT HAPPEN
Becka Cremer
Dave Ruigh
CLERK GETS AROUND TOWN
Michael Peterson
DESIGNERS MAKE IT PRETTY
Katherine Loeck
Bryan Marvin
PHOTOGRAPHERS MCGUYVER STUFF
Amanda Sellers
Anna Faltermeier
HEALTH GOOD FOR YOU
Lindsey St. Clair
Kim Wallace
Elyse Weidner
PEOPLE KNOW EVERYONE
Sam Carlson
Jennifer Denny
Anne Weltmer
OUT HIT THE TOWN
Matt Elder
Courtney Hagen
Jaime Netzer
NOTICE TAKE NOTE OF IT
Laura Evers
Dani Hurst
Katrina Mohr
CONTACT HELP YOUR LOVE LIFE
Matthew Foster
Nicole Korman
CREATIVE CONSULTANT FOUR SEA CREATURES
Carol Holstead
WRITE TO US
jayplay07@gmail.com
JAYPLAY
The University Daily Kansan
111 Stauffer-Flint Hall
1435 Jayhawk Blvd.
Lawrence, KS 66045
F ONTENTS
MiLES FrOM OrdiNAry
people 07
International students at KU
SEriAL ShOppErS
out 13
Shop til you drop literally
hOME iS whErE ThE FighT iS
feature 10
Returning to the empty nest
SpriNg EATS
notice 09
Healthy meal ideas and recipes
hidiNg dAddy
speak 19
Kim Wallaces high school graduation countdown
ONTHE COVER:
PHOTO/ ANNA FALTERMEIER
09
07
gOiNg ThE diSTANcE
contact 15
How to maintain a long-distance relationship
13
Dorm-life is supposed to be a
taste of freedom. Leaving parents
and their rules behind
usually means setting your own
curfew, deciding for yourself who
can sleep over and running your
own life. But for me, dorm-life
meant more rules, not fewer.
I entered GSP in 2004, and left
before 2005. Living in an all-girls
dorm was too much of a shock
after my moms relaxed parenting
techniques. During high school,
my mom let me make my own
decisions about what was right
and wrong; I was rarely told when
to be home at night, and I could
choose who to have in my room
and when to have them there.
After reading Laura Evers
article about getting along with
your parents after experiencing
freedom (page 10), I realize that
I should have sat down with my
resident advisor and had a talk
about boundaries. Maybe then I
could have had a guy stay in my
room on a Tuesday night.

Becka Cremer, co-editor

13
note.
15
10
13
19
09
07
Beaumont Club
4050 Pennsylvania St.
Kansas City, Mo.
(816) 561-2560
Bottleneck
737 New Hampshire St.
Lawrence
(785) 841-5483
The Brick
1727 McGee St.
Kansas City, Mo.
(816) 421-1634
Fatsos
1016 Massachusetts St.
Lawrence
(785) 865-4055
Gaslight Tavern
317 N. Second St.
Lawrence
(785) 856-4330
Grand Emporium
3832 Main St.
Kansas City, Mo.
(816) 531-1504
Harbour Lights
1031 Massachusetts St.
Lawrence
(785) 841-1960
Jackpot Saloon
943 Massachusetts St.
Lawrence
(785) 843-2846
The Jazzhaus
926 1/2 Massachusetts St.
Lawrence
(785) 749-3320
The Record Bar
1020 Westport Road
Kansas City, Mo.
(816) 753-5207
Replay Lounge
946 Massachusetts St.
Lawrence
(785) 749-7676
Signs of Life
722 Massachusetts St.
Lawrence
(785) 830-8030
Uptown Theater
3700 Broadway St.
Kansas City, Mo.
(816) 753-8665
VooDoo Lounge
1 Riverboat Drive
Kansas City, Mo.
(816) 889-7320

04.26.2007 JAYPLAY 03
Tea Time. Lobby, Kansas Union,
3 p.m., FREE.
Lecture: Winds of Change.
120 Snow Hall, 3:30 p.m.,
FREE. Eugene Linden has
written about environmental
issues for The New York
Times, The Atlantic and other
publications.
Farmers Market. Tenth and
Vermont Streets, 46 p.m.,
FREE.
Poker Pub. Conroys Pub, 6 p.m.,
FREE.
Lecture:Between Image
and Text: The Art of Xu Bing.
Auditorium, Spencer Museum of
Art, 7 p.m., FREE.
Theater: On Golden Pond.
Lawrence Community Theatre,
7:30 p.m., $1418.
Roan County Split/Logan Peck
and Friends. Granada, 8 p.m.,
18+, $3.
Five for Fighting. VooDoo
Lounge at Harrahs Casino,
8 p.m., 21+, $20, www.
fveforfghting.com.
Film: Children of Men. Woodruff
Auditorium, Kansas Union, 8
p.m., $2 or FREE w/ SUA movie
card.
Neon. Bottleneck, 9 p.m.
Poker Pub. Conroys Pub, 9 p.m.,
FREE.
Matt Ludwick/Helmer.
Boobie Trap Bar, 9:30 p.m., all
ages, $56, www.myspace.com/
mattludwick.
Scott Schwein Band/Sabitar/
Livelock. Jazzhaus, 10 p.m., 21+,
$3, www.scottschwein.com.
The Wayward Sons. Gaslight
Tavern, 10 p.m., www.
waywardsonsband.net
The Von Ehrics/Unknown
Stuntman/Santiago. The
Replay Lounge, 10 p.m., 21+, $2.
www.thevonehrics.com.
Kiosk Beneft: Volunteers/The
Legendary Terrordactyls/The
Armory/Stylus. Jackpot Saloon,
10 p.m., 18+, www.myspace.com/
thelegendaryterrordactyls.
C
a l e n d
a
r
Walk-Ins Welcome Friday.
Spencer Museum of Art, 10 p.m.,
FREE.
Tunes at Noon w/ True North.
Plaza, Kansas Union, 12 p.m.,
FREE.
Book Collecting Contest.
Oread Books, Kansas Union, 3
p.m., FREE.
Lecture:Unlocking the
Secret of Happiness.Alderson
Auditorium, Kansas Union, 7
p.m., FREE. Mingyur Rinpoche is
the author of The Joy of Living:
Unlocking the Science and Secret
of Happiness.
Theater: Guys and Dolls.
Crafton-Preyer Theatre, Murphy
Hall, 7:30 p.m., $1018.
Bruce in the USA! (Bruce
Springsteen Tribute Band).
Beaumont Club, 8 p.m., 18+, $15,
bruceintheusa.com.
Film: Children of Men. Woodruff
Auditorium, Kansas Union, 8
p.m., $2 or FREE w/ SUA movie
card.
Dr. Zhivegas. VooDoo Lounge
at Harrahs Casino, 8 p.m., 21+,
www.drzhivegas.com.
Fetish Night. Granada, 9 p.m.,
18+, $6.
Club Wars:The Battle for VooDoo
w/ Mr.Zero Knew/Sunday
Blackout/Bixby Lane/Leaded.
Grand Emporium, 9 p.m., 21+.
77 Jefferson/Patrick Lentz/
Anchondo/Bredan O Hare.
Hurricane, 9 p.m., www.myspace.
com/77jefferson.
System and Station/The
Life and Times/The Alibi.
Record Bar, 9 p.m., 21+, www.
systemandstation.net.
Mirror Image/Waste of Hate/
Severend. Boobie Trap Bar,
9:30 p.m., all ages, $5-6, www.
myspace.com/mirrorimage.
Cosmopolitics. Jazzhaus, 10
p.m., 21+, $4, www.myspace.
com/cosmopolitics.
White Ghost Shivers/Red
Lefty. Jackpot Saloon, 10
p.m., 18+, www.myspace.com/
whiteghostshivers.
Farmers Market. Eighth and
New Hampshire Streets, 711
a.m., FREE.
Book Signing: Max
Falkenstien. Oread Books,
Kansas Union, 12 p.m., FREE.
Falkenstien is the author, most
recently, of A Good Place to Stop:
60 Seasons with Max and the
Jayhawks.
Softball: Kansas vs. Oklahoma.
Arrocha Ballpark, 2 p.m.
Poker Pub. Conroys Pub, 6 p.m.,
FREE.
Seeking Surreal/ Standpointe/
Super Black Market. Beaumont
Club, 7 p.m., 21+.
Theater: Guys and Dolls.
Crafton-Preyer Theatre, Murphy
Hall, 7:30 p.m., $1018.
Ace Frehley Birthday Bash w/
Almost Kiss/Vincent Vega. Grand
Emporium, 8 p.m., all ages, $7.
Theater: On Golden Pond.
Lawrence Community Theatre, 8
p.m., $1420.
DJ Kevin Scott. VooDoo Lounge
at Harrahs Casino, 8 p.m., 21+.
Film: Children of Men. Woodruff
Auditorium, Kansas Union, 8
p.m., $2 or FREE w/ SUA movie
card.
Poker Pub. Conroys Pub, 9 p.m.,
FREE.
Arthur Dodge and the
Horsefeathers/Old Crony.
Hurricane, 9 p.m., www.
arthurdodge.com.
DJ Skus Block Party. Granada,
9 p.m., 18+, $3.
Oliver Buck/Nightingale.
Boobie Trap Bar, 9:30 p.m., all
ages, $5-6, www.myspace.com/
oliverbuck.
Cosmic Bowling. Jaybowl,
Kansas Union, 10 p.m., FREE.
True North. Jazzhaus, 10 p.m.,
21+, $5, www.myspace.com/
truenorthmusic.
This Is My Condition/To
Live and Shave in L.A./
Colourmusic. The Replay
Lounge, 10 p.m., 21+, $2.

Softball: Kansas vs. Oklahoma.
Arrocha Ballpark, 1 p.m.
Theater: Guys and Dolls.
Crafton-Preyer Theatre, Murphy
Hall, 2:30 p.m., $1018.
Theater: On Golden Pond.
Lawrence Community Theatre,
2:30 p.m., $1419.
The New Dodge Band w/
Adrianne Verhoeven. The
Replay Lounge, 5 p.m., all ages,
$3.
Carillon Concert. Memorial
Campanile, 5 p.m., FREE.
Chico DeBarge/James
DeBarge. Beaumont Club, 7
p.m., all ages, $20.
Morphin Endorphins/Loglady.
Granada, 9 p.m., 18 +, $3.
The Spoon and Fork
Family/Save the Whales/
The Monoplex. Jackpot
Saloon, 10 p.m., 18+,
www.myspace.com/
thespoonandforkfamily.
Gallery Exhibit:
Solutionation.Mirth Caf,
7 a.m.10 p.m., FREE. Paintings
and mixed-media by Yuri
Zupancic, Jeremy Rockwell and
Jeromy Morris.
The Dead Sea Scrolls.
Science City at Union
Station, 9:30 a.m.7:30 p.m.,
$2036.
Farmers Market. Tenth and
Vermont Streets, 46 p.m.,
FREE.
Peace Corps Information
Meeting. Lawrence Public
Library, 7 p.m., FREE.
Griffn House. Grand
Emporium, 8 p.m., all ages, $10.
Jet. VooDoo Lounge at Harrahs
Casino, 8 p.m., 21+, $25.
Electric Six/Night Kills the Day.
Bottleneck, 9 p.m., $12.
Gallery Opening: Brandon
Ripley. Jackpot Saloon, 10 p.m.,
FREE.
Gallery Exhibit:
Solutionation.Mirth Caf,
7 a.m.10 p.m., FREE. Paintings
and mixed-media by Yuri
Zupancic, Jeremy Rockwell and
Jeromy Morris.
The Dead Sea Scrolls.
Science City at Union
Station, 9:30 a.m.7:30 p.m.,
$2036.
Gallery Exhibit: Jennifer
Steinkamp. Kemper Museum
of Contemporary Art, 10 a.m.4
p.m., FREE.
Lecture: Gen. Richard B. Myers.
Dole Institute of Politics, 7 p.m.,
FREE (ticket required). Gen.
Myers is a former chairman of
the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
Chess Night. Aimees
Coffehouse, 7 p.m., FREE.
Fresh Ink. Jazzhaus, 10 p.m.,
21+, $3.
BANG! BANG!/Head Like a
Kite. The Replay Lounge, 10
p.m., 21+, $2.
THURSDAY
april 26
MONDAY
april 30
may 1
SUNDAY
april 29
SATURDAY
april 28
FRIDAY
april 27
WEDNESDAY
may 2
VENUES
where?
Gallery Exhibit:
Solutionation.Mirth Caf,
7 a.m.10 p.m., FREE. Paintings
and mixed-media by Yuri
Zupancic, Jeremy Rockwell and
Jeromy Morris.
The Dead Sea Scrolls. Science
City at Union Station, 9:30 a.m.
7:30 p.m., $2036.
Rumblejetts. Record Bar, 6:30
p.m., 21+, FREE.
Student Chamber Ensemble
Mens and Womens Glee.
Trinity Lutheran Church, 7:30
p.m., FREE.
Stone Sour/Lacuna Coil/
Shadows Fall. Beaumont
Cl ub, 8 p. m. , al l ages,
$27. 50.
Montia/Hectic/Akierima/
Resin. Hurricane, 9 p.m.,
www.myspace.com/
montiamusic.
Tommy Womack. The Replay
Lounge, 10 p.m., 21+, $2, www.
tommywomack.com.
TUESDAY
04.26.2007 JAYPLAY 17
04

JAYPLAY 04.26.2007
Q&A Q&A
Dr. Drew Pinsky medical doctor, relationship
expert, television personality and, most famously,
radio host has been dishing out sexual, health
and addiction advice for decades. Dr. Drew
answers Jayplays questions about sexual health
and safety on campus.
Q: What do you think is the biggest
sexual health concern on college
campuses today?
I think the biggest concern is no different
than in any other phase of life. Its about fnding
relationships and being happy. In college, the
social constrains are so unnatural that people try
to negotiate the hook-up culture.
Q: youve been vocal about hpv
for a While noW. What should
college students knoW about the
virus?
Everyone should be vaccinated; its been given
approval for those aged 9 to 26.The earlier you get
it, the more effective it is. The almost 4,000 deaths
a year from cervical cancer caused by some strains
of HPV can almost be eliminated. Fifty percent of
college-aged people have the virus. Everyone
should be vaccinated, use condoms and take
careful risk measures.
Q: hoW can students be safer and
more healthy When going out?
One of the big issues that were constantly
dealing with is that if you look at every adverse
health situation, like sexually transmitted diseases
and even pregnancy, you fnd drugs or alcohol.
People are getting loaded to handle the intensity
of this unnatural social construct. They need to
think of less intense ways to handle this social
construct like having meals and sitting down
together and giving each other one-on-one
contact.
Theres no single recipe for staying safe, but
using less drugs and alcohol has an impact on
staying safe. Its not about thinking that everyone
needs to live up to the normative standard of the
hormones-raging 17-year-old male. People are
not happy when they just rely on the hook-up
experience for a social life.
Q: What about discovering neW
things?
Enjoy college. Its a time to spread your wings
a bit and discover things on your own. Yet to
constantly do the hook-up as your primary goal
is wrong. Many of my patients with addictions
and problems have shown that it starts in college.
Their problems may not have spun out of control
in the same way had they not been endorsed in
college.
with
Dr. Drew
Courtney Hagen
In a new document, the Roman
catholIc chuRch ReveRses Its teachIngs
about lImbo, the spIRItual destInatIon
foR the souls of babIes who dIe
befoRe beIng baptIzed and cleansed of
oRIgInal sIn.
Because if theres one thing the Catholic Church
discourages, its absurd fantastical beliefs based on nothing
more than ancient traditions and blind faith.
A new survey reveAls thAt the clergy,
firefighters And other jobs thAt
involve helping other people Are
considered the most sAtisfying.
Presidential candidate
sen. Hillary clinton
says tHat if sHe were
elected, sHe would
make Her Husband a roaming
ambassador to tHe world.
HAWK TOPICS
RAINE REVIEWS
NEWS YOU CAN USE
04.26.2007 JayPlay 05
Chris Raine
ImpRobable
AmericAn idol
fInalIst sanjaya
malakaR Is
fInally voted
off the show.
Clinton later added,Seriously, anything
to keep him out of the house.
Not to worry, Sanjaya. As the
careers of Ashlee Simpson,
Jennifer Lopez, Fred Durst, 50
Cent and Fergie have shown
us, America absolutely loves untalented ass clowns
masquerading as entertainers.
the supReme couRt votes
to uphold a natIonwIde
ban on contRoveRsIal
paRtIal-bIRth aboRtIons In
a 54 decIsIon.
Let me get this straight now we can
only get an abortion if the fetus hasnt
been delivered yet? Isnt this America? I
thought we were in America!
A neW STudy fIndS
THAT HeAvy drInKIng In
COllege mAy InCreASe THe
rISK Of HeArT dISeASe.
Heavy drinking also appears to
drastically increase the number of
stupid, pointless and repetitive pictures
people put on their Facebook profles.
The least satisfying
jobs included
proctologist, referee,
peep show janitor,
fat camp massage
therapist, Pauly
Shores agent,Hawk
Topics writer, and
Greys Anatomy Fan
Club President.
the russiAn news service mAndAtes thAt
50 percent of All its rAdio news must
be positive, with no mention of deAth,
violence or poverty, And must portrAy
the putin AdministrAtion in A positive
light At All times.
The news agency will also change its name to
Fox News.
new jersey governor
jon corzine is criticAlly
injured in A high-speed
cAr wreck on his wAy to A
meeting between shock jock don
imus And the rutgers womens
bAsketbAll teAm.
The critical injury toll from Don Imuss
insensitive remarks continues to rise,
now including Corzines broken leg,
sternum, vertebrae, collarbone, several
ribs and the Rutgers womens basketball
teams feelings.
Speaking of Shetty, are you guys going to watch
Greys Anatomy tonight?
PrOTeSTOrS In IndIA burn effIgIeS Of
ACTOr rICHArd gere AfTer He rePeATedly
KISSeS ACTreSS SHIlPA SHeTTy On THe CHeeK
durIng An AIdS AWAreneSS rAlly.
THInK yOu HAve A beTTer jOKe? e-mAIl me AT hawktopics@kansan.com.
the ncAA pAsses A rule restricting
coAches from sending text messAges
to potentiAl recruits.
Now middle-aged men are going to have to
fnd a new excuse for why theyre sending
teenage boys text messages like,f U wrk on
yor ball-handling U cn cum plA 4 me.
F
MUSIC THAT MOVES YOU
06

JAYPLAY 04.26.2007
Listener: Thomas
Sunderland, Overland
Park junior
Tune: Wonderous
Stories by Yes
While pumpin the
jams, he was: Walking
home
He says: Its progressive
rock. I like it because
they push the envelope.
Listener: Caitlin Tew,
Allen, Texas, sophomore
Tune: Undiscovered by
Jessica Simpson
While pumpin the
jams, she was: Heading
to work at KU Info in the
Kansas Union
She says: I got an iPod
when I was a senior in
high school. [Jessica
Simpson] was popular
then and I havent
changed my music.
Listener: Stephanie Bell,
Leawood freshman
Tune: Ceremony by
New Order
While pumpin the
jams, she was: Going
to her Spanish class in
Wescoe
She says: Its good
music for sunny days; a
nice, solid beat.
Listener: Brandon Vaille,
Olathe sophomore
Tune: Rebubula by
moe.
While pumpin the
jams, he was: Going
to his American history
class in Wescoe
He says: I love jam
bands.
Anne Weltmer
Back in the day: As a freshman,
Lius interest in art led her to
volunteer at the information desk
at the Spencer Museum of Art.
She eventually became a paid
employee, earning her money
as a membership assistant. She
spent her weekends at the fne
arts building working on studio
projects. Liu was also involved
with the Hispanic American
Leadership Organization
throughout her undergraduate
career and became the groups
vice president during her senior
year. She also spent a semester
studying in Golfto, Costa Rica.
The grad life: After Liu
graduated, she took a job at Art
Frames, 912 Illinois St. She didnt
stay gone for long, however, and
she returned to the University
for graduate school less than a
year later. While working toward
her masters in museum studies,
she interned at the Spencer
Museum of Art and later began
working there full-time.
Today: As collection manager at
the Spencer Museum of Art, Liu
says theres no such thing as a
normal day. She says she enjoys
the museum because it attracts
interesting people especially
her co-workers who care
about the arts.
She says: Dont just be involved
with what youre studying
but also be involved with
extracurriculars and work. I think
its really important to work
when youre in school because it
broadens your horizons.
GRAD CHECK
Sofa Galarza Liu
Year: 2000
Degree: Art History
Hometown: Lawrence
Sam Carlson
On a campus where 70 percent
of the students are from Kansas,
the 1,614 international students
at KU are in the minority. Despite
being thousands of miles from
home, some international
students have become more
independent, but, like most
students, they still miss home.
The decision to study
abroad isnt easy, and for some
international students, like Julio
Castillo, Sucre, Bolivia, junior,
boarding a plane destined for
the United States is the frst time
they have left their country.
Castillo followed his sisters
footsteps in leaving Bolivia to
study electrical engineering
at KU because the universities
are much better in the United
States, he says.At the beginning,
I was excited about coming to
the United States, not exactly
Kansas, he says with a laugh. I
only heard about the Manhattan
side of Kansas.
Despite his original
perception of Kansas, Castillo
has grown to like the state
and has gotten involved as a
student ambassador for the
Global Awareness Program,
an initiative that recognizes
undergraduates international
experiences through study
abroad, foreign language study
and international co-curricular
activities. He is also involved
with the International Students
Association, where he met Jakub
Lichwa, an international student
from Ropczyce, Poland.
Lichwa, unlike Castillo, made
his decision to study abroad
months before enrolling at KU.
After picking up a Newsweek
magazine in Poland, the junior
studied tuition rates and
national rankings of American
universities before calling family
in Philadelphia for advice. He
completed the Test of English
as a Foreign Language (a test
international students must
take to demonstrate at least a
limited profciency of the English
language), sent his admission
application to KU and began
classes two months later.
Dont let the quick decision
fool you, though; Lichwa has
always been interested in
studying here. If you have an
American degree in Europe, you
have doors opened to you, he
says. For international students
like Lichwa, the cost of attending
KU is the same as out-of-state
tuition for domestic students.
Opting for the more
independent approach to
orientating himself to the
University, Lichwa skipped the
traditional New International
Student Orientation held the
week before classes start in
August. The New International
Student Orientation allows
students from 113 countries
to meet new people, learn
about KU and the U.S., and
offers information sessions on
topics such as enrolling, cultural
adjustments, healthcare and
safety. Although he doesnt
regret not attending, Lichwa says
he was frustrated with the lack of
classes related to his major that
were available when he fnally
enrolled only a few days before
the semester started.
Even more frustrating than
enrolling, which every KU
student knows is a pain, is the
bar scene in Lawrence, Lichwa
says. In Europe, 18 is the legal
age for driving and drinking,
but because 21 is the minimum
age for admittance into most
Lawrence bars, Lichwa says,
You have to be 21 to basically
get out of your apartment.
However, since turning legal age
in September, he has been able
to enjoy Lawrence more and has
visited Las Vegas and Miami, two
vacation destinations he says he
cannot get enough of.
Lichwa even gets to go
home more often than most
international students because
he takes advantage of winter
and summer breaks and easy
fight connections out of New
York City. Imran Ghazali, Karachi,
Pakistan, junior, isnt always as
fortunate to return home.
Ghazali has been home only
once since enrolling at the
University in August 2004. I
wasnt as excited as some other
people were about starting
classes at KU, he admits, but
he has enjoyed the freedom
of living independently of his
parents. Moving more than 7,500
miles away from home has given
him the autonomy of making his
own decisions, so he can choose
to eat at 3 a.m. or hang out with
friends until late, he says. But he
says he still misses his parents,
family, friends and native food.
Ghazali has certainly made the
decision to get involved while
studying at KU, which was briefy
interrupted when he transferred
to Johnson County Community
College to save money on
tuition his sophomore year. He
is now on the executive board
of the International Students
Association, an organization
that promotes international
representation and activities on
campus such as International
Awareness Week, game nights
and a Halloween party. He also
helps organize concerts for the
Pakistani Club, plays with the
Cricket Club and attends Muslim
Students Association meetings.
I feel like I should put some
time into my studies, but I would
rather be involved, he says.
Ghazali spends so much of
his time with his organizations
that most of his friends are also
international students from
various countries that he met in
these clubs, but as his classes get
smaller in the School of Business,
he has made more American
friends., he says
Even halfway around the
world, some things in class are
the same for Ghazali. At home
in Pakistan, most of the lectures
in high school and college are
conducted in English, so he
doesnt fnd his classes here
too diffcult. However, he says
sometimes he thinks he needs
extra time to understand the
content properly, like during
exams.
Dr. Joe Potts, director of the
International Student and Scholar
Services, says he is delighted
that international students have
brought their world to Lawrence
to share with other students.
Ninety-fve percent of the world
is un-American,so an education is
incomplete and parochial unless
it acquaints students with their
entire world and not just the
American sliver of it,he says.
As for these three international
juniors, each is looking forward to
graduation in May 2008, but each
will pursue a life as different as
their cultures.
Castillo wants to remain in
the United States and is looking
at graduate schools, where
he is considering studying
biomechanical engineering. If he
stays, he will need to adjust to the
food, which he currently hates
because everything is frozen and
processed, he says.
Lichwas love of Miami forces
him to quickly say he will live in
Florida and fsh and play golf
every day, but he too will be
looking for a job to match his
fnance major. Unlike the other
two, he says he wouldnt mind
returning to Europe to work in
London.
And in true upperclassmen
style, Ghazali says, That has
become a tricky question now.
Even though he still has a year
left to study at KU, he says his
plans will depend on whether he
gets a job, but his parents would
like him to return home.
From Albania to Zimbabwe, KU students come from all over the world
by Jennifer Denny
04.26.2007 JAYPLAY 07
people
Top Foreign coUnTries
represenTeD AT KU
(and the number of students
who hail from each country)
China: 246
India: 198
South Korea: 180
Saudi Arabia: 148
Japan: 94
Taiwan: 64
France: 33
Canada: 31
Germany: 31
Brazil: 25
PHOTO/ ANNA FALTERMEIER
Jakub Lichwa, Ropczyce,
Poland, junior, Imran
Ghazali, Karachi, Pakistan,
junior, and Julio Castillio,
Sucre, Bolivia, junior, are a
few of the 1, 614 interna-
tional students at KU.
miles From orDinAry
Do you know how many trees there are on
campus? Lauren McCoy, Overland Park junior,
does.
McCoy works at KU Info and says the job
itself isnt diffcult, and is more an exercise in
resourcefulness than in being particularly
knowledgeable.
Its not about knowing the answer to every
question,McCoy says.Its about being able to
fnd the answers.
People most frequently ask about campus
telephone numbers and because of their
popularity McCoy has memorized many of
the main telephone numbers, including those
for the Bursars Offce, the Student Recreation
Fitness Center and the Freshman-Sophomore
Advising Center, she says.
Some questions are not as common, but
McCoy is armed and ready. With the help of
search engines like Google and Web sites like
Wikipedia, McCoy quickly looks up answers
online,making her job easier and more effcient
than it would be without the Internet.
Most of the questions are things that
people could look up themselves,McCoy says.
I just get paid to look it up for you.
Having worked for KU Info for more than
a year, McCoy has encountered bizarre
questions including how big is the average
walrus penis?
McCoy is only obligated to answer
questions about KU and the campus, and
never has to answer questions that make her
uncomfortable. But, she says, she is willing to
answer random questions as long as the callers
arent rude about it.
Just for the record, McCoy estimates there
are about 18,000 trees on campus.
KU Info can be reached at (785) 864-3506
or online at kuinfo.ku.edu.
Dani Hurst
04.26.2007 JAYPLAY 17 08

JAYPLAY 04.26.2007
Girl: I think its great that KU
offers Yiddish, but I think its
because the Chancellors son
converted to Judaism.
Professor: Still, Yiddish in
Kansas. Its great.
Girl 1: I really need a B in my
chem class.
Girl 2: So are you gonna
have sex with the teacher?
Girl 1: Well, he is about 70
years old. So absolutely!
Girl 1 (on phone): Yeah, I
think itll really affect my
grade dramastically.
Girl 2 (whispering to
Girl 3): Did she just say
dramastically?
Girl 3: Yeah, I think so.
Guy (on phone): Nah, man.
I dont have to go to class
at all next week, so I aint
trippin.
Girl: I was so excited about
4/20. I was even writing it
all over my notebooks and
doodling. Then I realized that
I couldnt even celebrate it
because I have so much shit
to do. Dammit!
Girl (on phone): So I woke
up this morning naked. My
car was gone and I had no
idea how I got home or what
I did last night.
Guy 1: Is it true that that
Wallfowers song One
Headlight is about erect
nipples?
Guy 2: I doubt it.
Guy 1: Well, its just that in
pornos Ive heard people
refer to erect nipples as
headlights.
Guy 2: Oh, yeah. I see it.
Professor: Oh look. Ive
found a dime. Did anyone
lose a dime?
Class: (shakes heads no)
Professor: Ill just put it on
the desk in case. (resumes
lecture)
Dani Hurst
WHAT its like
to work at
kU info
TomorroWs
news
If youre looking to drop your
cell phone service provider but
youre reluctant to shell out
early termination fees, head to
www.cellswapper.com.
For a $14.95 success fee,
you can transfer your plan
to someone who is looking
for a short-term cell phone
commitment. Simply post
your cell phone plan details
on the site with an optional
incentive to buy (usually cash
or your old phone) and
wait for someone to swap
in to your plan. Once youve
swapped out, you are no
longer fnancially responsible
for your cell phone plan.
Bonus: If you transfer your
old plan using Cell Swapper
then swap in to a new plan,
the site refunds 25 percent
of your original success fee.

Becka Cremer
WesCoe wit
Dont Stand IN LINE
GO ONLINE
BUY PARKING PERMITS ONLINE
STEP
PROCESS *
1. LOG onto the Kyou Portal
2. CLICK on the Services tab to sign up
3. CHECK your mail Permit will be mailed to you!
04.26.2007 JAYPLAY 09
nOtiCe
photos/ AnnA FAltermeier
Fresh herbs are abundant in spring and give
dishes much better favors than dried herbs,
says hilary Brown, owner of local Burger.
here is her recipe for dairy-free pesto, which
substitutes white miso for parmesan cheese
and walnuts for the pine nuts found in the
traditional italian recipe. the miso and walnuts
add essential fatty acids and omega-3s, which
beneft the brain, increase metabolism and
keep blood sugar levels stable.
5 cups loosely packed fresh basil
1/3 cup olive oil
12 small garlic cloves
1/2 tablespoon light white miso paste
1/2 cup walnuts
1/41/2 teaspoon salt
put the basil in a food processor frst and
pulse a few times. Add the walnuts and pulse a
few more times and then add garlic, miso, olive
oil and salt. Blend until smooth and add more
garlic or salt to taste. makes enough for a small
crowd to use as a dip or spread, or enough to
serve over pasta for 68 people.
Chuck haren, stillwell sophomore, says he
enjoys going grocery shopping with no meal
in mind and picking ingredients based on what
looks good. he created this simple, fast, easy
and pretty deliciouspasta dish last week.
1/2 lb pasta
1 large red bell pepper, cut into large
chunks
12 cloves chopped garlic
small handful of fresh basil
parmesan cheese
1 tablespoon olive oil
salt and pepper to taste
Cook pasta according to package
instructions. heat olive oil and chopped garlic
together over medium heat. Add red pepper
chunks, basil and salt and pepper, and saut
for a few minutes until soft. toss with cooked
pasta and sprinkle parmesan cheese on top.
serves 34.
For other spring recipes, head into the
Community mercantile and check out their
recipe corner or talk with the vendors at the
Downtown lawrence Farmers market.
After months of hearty
comfort food, a variety of fresh
spring ingredients are now
available in lawrence. take
advantage of the spring harvest,
and enjoy a clean, healthy meal
you can linger over while sitting
outside and embracing the
warm weather.
When you dont want
to cook
many lawrence restaurants
use local seasonal produce in
their menus. pachamamas, 800
new hampshire st., and local
Burger, 714 Vermont st., are two
that take advantage of what
every season has to offer.
Pachamamas
spring is a new beginning,
says Ken Baker, owner and
executive chef of pachamamas.
its my favorite time of the year,
he says. lots of crops are coming
up and there are many fresh
ingredients available.
pachamamas changes its
menu every month so that the
items contain the best seasonal
ingredients, many of which are
produced locally,Baker says.some
of Bakers favorite ingredients to
include in his spring menu are
morel mushrooms, fava beans,
asparagus, snap peas and young
chicken or lamb.
For a taste of spring, try the
24-hour leg of spring lamb with
vidalia onion, minted pea cream,
pea shoots, curry oil and lentil
crisps ($12) or the tagliatelle
with blonde morels, chive crme
fraiche and parmesan ($13) on
pachamamas April menu.
Local Burger
spring produce has good
energy and favors, says hilary
Brown, owner of local Burger,
714 Vermont st.i love the colors
and the freshness, she says.
they really make meals come
together.
local Burger emphasizes
sustainability and awareness
of where food comes from.
Dishes are made using local and
regional ingredients. Buying
local produce does so much,
from benefting the economy to
tasting better and being better
for you, Brown says.
try the chicken salad made with
local chicken, parsley, peas and
thyme ($7.50) or a turkey burger
topped with feta and pesto ($8)
paired with a strawberry hemp
milk smoothie ($4).
When you do want to cook
lawrence has plenty of
grocery stores, but to fnd local
produce the options are a little
more limited. here are your
best bets for fnding fresh local
ingredients.
The Community Mercantile
seasonal staples such as
asparagus, fresh herbs and
peas will be at the Community
mercantile, 901 iowa st., in
abundance very soon, says laura
Cowden, produce manager at
the merc. now that spring has
arrived, people are buying more
fresh foods and ingredients they
dont have to cook to enjoy, she
says. the merc has more than
125 produce items in store
during the year and has the only
UsDA Certifed organic produce
section in lawrence.
Chuck haren, stilwell
sophomore, says he shops at
the merc because of the great
selection of organic produce. i
buy organic because i like the
idea of putting pure food into
my body that has no pesticides
or chemicals, he says.
Buying quality organic food
is often more expensive than
the non-organic alternatives, but
haren says its worth it because
he feels better and its better for
the environment. As a college
student, haren says he has to
make time to cook, but he enjoys
cooking, so he makes it a priority.
You have to be open-minded.
i sometimes go shopping with
$6 and get what i can and make
something delicious, he says.
its kind of a challenge.
The Downtown Lawrence
Farmers Market
the Downtown lawrence
Farmers market is the oldest
farmers market in Kansas and
includes more than 80 vendors.
everything offered is grown or
made in northeast Kansas.
mercedes taylor-puckett,
market coordinator, says the
local community aspect is what
makes shopping at the market
different from shopping at
a grocery store. Food at the
market is fresher and more
nutritious because it only has
to travel an average of 15 miles
to get to lawrence compared
to hundreds of miles some food
has to travel to get here, she
says.
Buying directly from the
vendors at the market allows
people to ask questions about
how the product was grown or
raised. Vendors also encourage
people to try ingredients they
wouldnt otherwise use because
they can advise people about
how to prepare an unusual
ingredient, taylor-puckett says.
the market offers a variety
of products ranging from
herbs, greens, vegetables,
fruits, cheeses, meats, preserves
and baked goods. the market
won frst place for best fresh
vegetables in the Best of
lawrence 2006 survey. its open
from 7 to 11 a.m. at 824 new
hampshire st. on saturdays and
from 4 to 6 p.m. at 1020 Vermont
st. on tuesdays and thursdays.
Celebrate the return of nice weather with
fresh, healthy meal ideas
by Katrina Mohr
Spring eatS

try theSe reCipeS requiring Spring ingriedientS

(left) Jam from Cardinal
Hill Farm is available at the
Downtown Lawrence Farmers
Market.
(top left) Julie and Joe
Randtke, Lawrence residents,
shop for tomatoes at the
Pendletons Country Market
stand at the Lawrence
Farmers Market Saturday
morning.
parents updated on some things
in your life, its also important
to establish boundaries to your
conversations. One of the most
important things to remember
is to not lash out at your parents
because youre frustrated, Medea
says. In the end, lashing out only
invites moreunwelcomequestions
and therefore you dont get what
you want. Instead, she suggests
responding respectfully by saying
that the question was too personal
and decline to answer.This causes
parents to do a double take,
Medea says. Its a very adult thing
to do.
Arguments are inevitable when
families are adjusting to you being
away from home. If an argument
does happen, its good to sit down
with your parents and lay down
some ground rules of what you
will and will not talk about with
them. If you prepare ahead of time,
it decreases the possibility of your
parents asking random questions,
says Ed Bloch, a clinical social
worker and therapist. Explain to
your parents that although you
still love them, you need to be able
to build relationships with your
peers because they are the ones
who ultimately will support you
while youre at school, he says.
In thesesituations,its important
to avoid coming off as critical, King
says. If someone blames, criticizes
or accuses their parents of doing
something wrong, their parents
get defensive and a fght begins.
An alternative way to deal with
the situation is to demand their
respect but also remind them that
you still need their input, King says.
Its important to make sure they
know you dont want to get rid of
them.
Its hard for them, too
To avoid possible resentment
from parents, keep in mind that
they are having a diffcult time as
well. Susan Schwartz, Memphis,
Tenn., junior, says that her dad
often sends her a text message to
see if she can talk. If she doesnt
respond, hell call and if she doesnt
pick up, he sends another text
message. Although she explains
that sometimes she doesnt want
to be disturbed, she says she
realizes that her parents dont see
her every day and have a right to
worry. Oftentimes when students
feel hounded by their parents,
they can become frustrated and
avoid contact with their parents.
When I began to withdraw,
my mom started to pop up
everywhere. She joined Facebook,
MySpace and even Xanga, often
leaving messages for me and even
my friends. I began to feel digitally
claustrophobic. I couldnt escape
her presence and unfortunately,
it made me avoid her even more
than I had before.
It wasnt until a couple of
months ago when I was talking
to her on the phone that she said,
All I want is to feel like Im part
of your life, but you never call me
anymore. Her words stung me
because before I had felt that she
was the problem. She was too
intrusive. She was overbearing.
But after she said those words, I
realized that I had neglected her.
If you, like me, have been guilty
of avoiding your parents when
they begin to become more
intrusive, there are some ways to
reassure them that you still want
them in your life. First of all, push
them for time. This may seem crazy
considering they already seem
intrusive, but spending quality
time alone with your parents can
help give you some space. Medea
suggests taking mom out for
breakfast or helping dad fx the
car. During your time together
you can tell them whats going
on in your life while asking them
questions as well. This not only
eases their fears about what youre
up to, but also shows them that
youre mature enough to have
adult conversations.
Gekas says that during her frst
years ofcollegeher mom expressed
worry that their relationship
was becoming more distant. At
the time, Gekas was confused
because they talked frequently.
She says she realized later that her
responses to her moms questions
were often one word and without
substance. If theres not quality in
your conversation, its worthless,
she says. Now she makes a point to
expand upon her answers to create
more meaningful conversation.
Parents want whats best for
their children, often fnding it hard
to let go when they still question
themselves on whether they did
a good job raising us. They have
CONTINUED ONPAGE 12
04.26.2007 JAYPLAY 11 10 JAYPLAY 04.26.2007
Going home can be a struggle, but it doesnt have to be the
end of your relationship with your parents
By Laura Evers
When I beGan to WIthdraW, my momstarted to pop up
everyWhere. she joIned Facebook, myspace and even XanGa,
oFten leavInG messaGes For me and even my FrIends.
Growing up, I had a great
relationshipwith my mom.I looked
forward to coming home from
school and telling her about my
day. She listened intently as I went
into detail about boys I thought
were cute and why my best friend
was making me mad. She was my
rock and in many ways I was hers. I
felt that I couldnt make a decision
without her by my side and always
knew everything would be OK
as long as she was in my life. And
then I went to college.
The struggle for independence
Before college, I never planned
on pulling away from my parents.
They were who I turned to for
comfort and were always my best
supporters. But once I arrived at
KU, I felt I needed to branch out
and do things on my own. I wanted
them in my life, but I needed room
to grow as an adult.
Some of us struggle to gain
independence from our parents
when we frst come to college.
Whether it be doing our own
laundry or payingbills,wegradually
become adults. Although learning
to be independent is important,
it often causes families distress
when we return home during the
school year.
Because students become more
responsible and self-suffcient
while away at school, they are
often faced with the challenge
of re-introducing themselves to
their parents when they arrive
home, says Andra Medea, author
of Going Home without Going
Crazy. The best way to do this is by
showing your parents how youve
matured.
Be mindful not to fall back into
old habits, Medea says. When
you do this, youll have a harder
time convincing your parents that
youve grown up. Dont refuse
to pick up your dirty clothes or
address your parents in a whiney
tone when theyre upset with you.
Doing this will only make your
parents treat you like a 14-year-old,
because these things are typical of
a 14-year-olds behavior. Instead,
address your parents in a deeper,
more adult tone. This will surprise
the parent and help them realize
youve grown up and matured,
Medea says.
Many arguments begin because
the returning student feels he
must push away in order to prove
his independence, often causing
tension in the household. Its a
hard transition for families, says
Jeff King, a marriage and family
therapist in Lawrence. Parents
dont know if they still have
authority or if they should act as
their childs peer.This uncertainty
can often create apprehension in
the family.
Unwanted advice
The problems between my
mom and I arose about a year after
I moved out. I had recently begun
datinga guy who lived in my dorm.
Because I hadnt dated in the past,
it was a new experience for both
of us. For the frst time in my life, I
was experiencing something that I
wanted to keep to myself. Almost
immediately after discussing my
new relationship with my mom, I
started receiving several e-mails
a day.
The subject lines included
making a relationship last and
the fundamentals of dating,
among other things. I knew she
was trying to be helpful, but it
made me feel like I was being told
what to do. I had turned to her
in the past for advice, but in this
situation, I really just wanted to
fgure out the relationship on my
own. This was a very confusing
time for her because, in the past,
I had told her everything that was
on my mind and all of a sudden I
was more guarded.
Adjusting to new ways of
communication can be diffcult for
both parents and their children.
Its a process of growing up and
re-negotiating the most important
relationships of your life, says
Harriet Lerner, author of The
Dance of Anger: A Womens Guide
to Changing Patterns of Intimate
Relationships. When you go home,
its an anxious time. If your mother
manages anxiety by giving advice,
she will do it more.
Avoid distancing
I never knew how to handle the
advice I received from my mom.
Eventually, I stopped returning
many of her phone calls and didnt
reply to her e-mails. But isolating
yourself from your parents only
makes the problem worse. If your
parents call 12 times a day, your
tendency may be to distance,
which causes your parents anxiety,
Lerner says. If your parents are
being intrusive, the challenge is
to be clear about what is best for
you without being emotionally
distancing.
Instead of getting mad,
Lerner suggests approaching
the situation with humor. She
recommends saying something
like, Mom, youre acting like the
American Red Cross here. Do I look
like I need rescuing? After this is
done, parents usually back off. Its a
way to set personal boundaries.
Check in
When I went home for summer
breaks, my parents usually wanted
to know what time I would get
back from a night out with my
friends. When I was a child, I felt
that it was all right for them to
wait up for me and worry, but now
that I was on my own, I felt these
questions were unreasonable.
Andrea Crawford, Overland Park
senior, had a similar experience. I
dont get a lot of independence
when I go home, she says. I cant
really go out anywhere very late
because my parents cant sleep
until I get back. Parents want to
know their child is safe, but the
questions they asked when their
child still lived at home are no
longer appropriate for a college
student.
Lizzie Hartman, Shawnee
freshman, has also experienced
the shock of coming home and
being re-introduced to curfews.
At school, she could stay out as
long as she wanted, but when
she went home she was surprised
that her parents got upset after
she returned home a couple of
hours later than she had told
them she would. Fortunately, shes
reached a compromise with her
parents. They get concerned that
something has happened to me,
Hartman says. The rule now is I
just have to call, say where I am,
who Im with and let them know
Im going to be late. I feel that if
thats all I have to change, than I
can deal with that.

Set boundaries
Besides wanting to know when
youll be home, parents often try to
fnd out the basics of their childs
life. Christina Gekas, Eden Prairie,
Minn., senior, says she was often
frustrated by her moms attempts
to fnd out about the boys in her
life, even turning to her brother to
fnd out more information.
Although its good to keep
10 JAYPLAY 04.26.2007
Many families struggle to adjust when students return home.
Its a hard transition for families, says Jeff King, a marriage
and family therapist in Lawrence. Parents dont know if they
still have authority or if they should act as their childs peer.
Photos/ ????
PHOTO ILLUSTRATIONS/ SARAH LEONARD
CONTINUED FROM PAGE 11
become accustomed to having
control. The thought of losing
that and allowing their children
to run their own lives can leave
them with fear for their childs
future, King says.
Pam Allen, a clinical social
worker in Topeka, says that
parents want so much for
their child to do well that
it sometimes hurts the
relationship. Parents struggle
with trusting their children to
make the right decision, she
says. Sometimes the fear can
be so big that it puts a barrier in
the relationship.
Besides worrying about you,
parents also struggle to redefne
their own place in the world
after you move out. I got really
depressed during this time, my
mom told me. All of a sudden
I had all this extra time and no
one to mother. Its very diffcult
to go through what King calls
the launching stage, the period
when a young person gradually
becomes more independent.
So far, theyve been defned as
being a parent, King says. They
experience a sense of loss. They
need their kids to still need them.
Coming home is also stressful
for parents because they know
your visit is short-lived and you
will leave again. To connect
more with her mom while shes
away at school, Gekas is trying
to teach her mom to use Gmail
chat. That way they can talk
more frequently and her mom
wont feel as much distance
between them, she says.
Learn to communicate
A leading mistake among
families is their lack of
communication. According
to Bloch, families must put it
out there that they are going
through a diffcult transition.
There is an expectation that it
should be easy to handle, he
says. Its better to talk about
your feelings than hide them.
Allen says its important
to recognize the time as an
adjustment. The transition will
not be smooth at all times, but
not communicating and losing
the relationship can only cause
harm to the student involved.
If a young adult can maintain
contact with their parents, they
will most likely be more stable
and grounded, she says. On
the other hand, if a student is
cut off from their parents, they
can become more vulnerable to
develop a problem with alcohol
or drugs.
Ive changed a lot of things in
the past few months. Now when
my mom calls, I call her back
and make an attempt to ask
her about her day. Although our
relationship isnt perfect, (but
whose is, right?) I realize now
why it got to the point it did. We
both made mistakes, but well
overcome them because we
love each other.
Theres a myth that when
you go away to college, you
should separate from your
parents and they should let
go, Lerner says. This notion is
fairly unhealthy and inaccurate
because if things go well, family
is forever.
Theres a myTh ThaT when
you go away To college,
you should separaTe
from your parenTs and
They should leT go.
harrieT lerner
12

JAYPLAY 04.26.2007
Serial
ShopperS
When Caitlin Feighny wants
to head downtown to go
shopping, she has a sorority
full of 80 girls she can invite
along. Feighny goes clothes
shopping about once a week
and almost always asks if any
of her sorority sisters want to
join her on the way out the
door. Usually they just browse,
she says, but sometimes
several of her friends will go
shopping together with a
specific purpose, like finding an
outfit for an upcoming theme
party. If someones birthday
is coming up and we all want
to look really good, well go
together, Feighny says.
Feighny, Topeka senior,
is not alone in her habitual
attire-hunting habits. Women
and men of all ages regularly
use shopping as a form of
entertainment, a platform
for conversation and even a
(relatively) inexpensive type of
therapy.The American economy
is fueled by consumption, and
so, we consume. But while
the purchases made in a
retail store might be external
goods, the allure of shopping
is not just superficial. There
are physiological reasons why
shopping feels good the
catch is that the shoppers
high, however sweet, is always
short-lived.
The emotional high
shoppers feel right before they
purchase an item is actually
a release of dopamine, the
same chemical in the brain
that makes an addict crave and
anticipate a drug fix. Dopamine
activity in the brain increases
in anticipation of many
different types of rewards, from
gambling-related rewards to
monetary and social rewards,
says Dr. Susan Bookheimer,
assistant professor of the
Brain Mapping Division and
Brain Research Institute at the
University of California, Los
Angeles School of Medicine.
Unfortunately, after the
initial excitement of an
anticipated purchase fades,
consuming can turn sour and
shoppers may be left with
buyers remorse or a sadly
skinny wallet.
Nick Bideler, Fort Smith,
Ariz., junior, overspent earlier
this month and says he already
owns more jeans than he needs.
By his own estimate, Bideler
could avoid doing laundry for
up to three weeks and not run
out of jeans to wear.
Feighny, who works 15
hours a week and is taking 20
hours of classes this semester,
says she rewards herself by
shopping. I dont have time
to go see movies, she says,
so I take that $14 that I would
have spent on two movies and
spend it on something that will
last me even longer.
Feighny says that she gets
excited to open her closet and
see a new top, but that her lift
in mood is short-lived. Its nice
to get lots of compliments on
something new, she says, but
ultimately I recognize that its a
superficial thing.
Some people do not share
Feighnys rational take on
shopping: as many as 15 percent
of young Americans suffer from
a psychological disorder called
compulsive consumption,
says Tim Kasser, associate
professor of psychology at
Knox College in Galesburg, Ill.,
and author of The High Price
of Materialism. These people
feel an overwhelming sense
that they need to consume
something, Kasser says, and
end up shopping compulsively,
not unlike a binge eater, to
assuage stressful situations.
Even healthy people
shop because it feels good.
Shopping is an American
pastime, Kasser says. He says
that after 9/11, when George
W. Bush was asked what the
average American could do to
help, he responded with one
simple command: Shop.
Most people of Generation
Y define themselves by the
clothes they wear and the
music they purchase, Kasser
says. Clothes are one of the
main ways by which we express
our identities and are also our
main avenue for attracting the
sexual attention of our desired
mates, he says.
Natalie Kelley, Wichita senior,
says that her clothes are of a
reflection of her personality
and mood. Kelley, who works
at Gap, 736 Massachusetts St.,
says she usually shops at least
twice a week. Kelley and her
closest friend shop together,
and actually call each other
and request retail therapy
when they are stressed out
or upset. But Kelley says she
would usually rather spend her
time doing more productive
things like going to the gym or
hanging out with her friends.
Spending time developing
relationships is one part of a
set of values that Kasser says
are ultimately more satisfying
than materialistic endeavors.
Kasser says that developing
a sense of identity, nuturing
relationships with friends
and loved ones, and fostering
a sense of community
involvement through
volunteering ultimately makes
people happier than external
endeavors like shopping.
There are studies that
show that people who shop
religiously are actually not
happy people, Kasser says,
and there are also studies
that show that people who
volunteer regularly are the
happiest of all.
Focusing on these intrinsic
values, Kasser says, will create
more satisfaction than a great
sale every time.
The highs and lows of compulsive consumption
by Jaime Netzer
04.26.2007 JAYPLAY 13
ouT
pHoTo/ AMANDA SELLERS
Natalie Kelley, Wichita senior, says she uses retail therapy to distract her from stress.

Just dont go shopping.
Try to avoid going to
expensive places. Instead,
shop somewhere cheap.
Nick Bideler,
Fort Smith, Ariz., junior

Im no saint when it comes
to spending money, but in
order to avoid overspending,
check your fnances online
so that you can be aware
of how much money you
spend and how much
money you have coming in
the next few weeks. If your
friend wants to go shopping,
leave your money and credit
cards at home!
Caitlin Feighny,
Topeka senior
If you randomly buy
something and dont wear
it within two weeks, return
it because you obviously
dont need it. Try to shop
sales and avoid buying
anything at full price.
Natalie Kelley,
Wichita senior
how do i avoid SpeNdiNg Too much?
14

JAYPLAY 04.26.2007
how we met
Duran Duran. Icees.
If you were In a coma for 20
years, whats the one thIng you
would most lIke to see stIll
around when you woke up?
would you take a rIde wIth
davId hasselhoff In hIs car from
Knight RideR If he wasnt wearIng
any pants and k.I.t.t. was playIng
prInces PuRPle Rain?
what are some rules for
survIvIng horror movIes lIke
Basic instinct 2 and talladega
nights?
how cool would It be to have
a prescrIptIon for medIcal
marIjuana?
do you have any frIends or
relatIves who are convInced that
they belong to an elIte fIghtIng
group of breakdancIng nInjas?
You can never turn down
a ride from Hasselhof in
the car. Its mandatory.
Probably not.
No, but my uncle over
in Cleveland thinks he
belongs to an elite group
of aliens.
No, but my friends think
they can breakdance.
Whats wrong with
Talladega Nights?
I really liked Talladega
Nights.
Its not hard to get. It just
costs $300 to get the card
here in California.
Yeah, that would be
pretty nice for those
stressful days.
Lindsay Breese
Topeka junior
Jamie Kennedy
Kickin It Old Skool
Matthew Foster
Drag queen auction,
naked Twister, tripping on
mushrooms: these are just
a few of the details Liane
Eisenbart, Independence
junior, and Ryan OLeary,
Manhattan senior, mention
when they talk about the frst
time they met seven years ago.
They began writing each other
after hanging out for only 12
hours at a camp and a few
months later spent one more
night together before OLeary
left for New Mexico.
After Eisenbart graduated
from high school, she hitched
a ride to New Mexico and
was dropped off near where
OLeary was staying. She says
she hiked into the desert
with only a jug of water and a
backpack to fnd him living in
a cave. They lived in the cave
for a few months and stayed
in New Mexico a couple of
years, where they had their
frst child, Blue, 5. They moved
back to Kansas six months
later to settle in Lawrence and
eventually have their second
child, Roads, 14 months.
hitch-hiking for love
Matthew Foster
Do you have what it takes to maintain a long-distance relationship?
When a coupon comes in the
mail free chips and a drink,
buy one get one free anything
whats the catch? To get a
little you have to give a lot. You
get ready to leave for college
and you meet the man of your
dreams. The catch? He goes to
school 221 miles away.
Kim Calabrese, Tulsa, Okla.,
senior, has been in a long-
distance relationship with Grant
Parker, a senior at Okalahoma
State University in Stillwater,
Okla., for the past four years. The
two began dating the summer
before their freshman year of
college, but didnt believe it
would become a long-term
relationship. Calabrese wasnt
sure whether the relationship
would work out because she
hadnt built up enough trust in
Parker and was only going to see
him once every two months, she
says. But a month into school, the
two decided to give it a try.
Being geographically
challenged is not exactly ideal
for a relationship, but millions
of people live through it every
day. The Center for the Study
of Long Distance Relationships
estimates that 7 million couples
in the United States are in a long-
distance relationship and about
78 percent of college students
have been in one at some point
during their time at school.
Not all students are capable
of handling a long-distance
relationship. It helps if youre an
independent person who would
spend a lot of time away from
your partner if you were in the
same city, says Caroline Tiger,
author of The Long-Distance
Relationship Guide: Advice for the
Geographically Challenged. Long-
distance relationships are more
manageable in college because
there is an end point you will
be together in the summer or
after graduation, she says.
Being in college can also make
long-distance relationships
more diffcult, Its been the
hardest thing Ive ever had to
do, Calabrese says. It takes a
bigger chunk of your life than
you think.
Communication, trust and
being able to handle the distance
are essential in making a long-
distance relationship last.
Can you talk the talk?
Expressing your feelings is key
in sustaining the relationship,
but you have to learn how to talk
to your partner. Because long-
distance relationships lack face-
to-face communication, many
people search for interaction
elsewhere. Some people may
fnd a stand in boyfriend or
girlfriend, often a close friend
with whom they develop a
relationship stronger than the
one they have with their partner,
Tiger says. To avoid this confict,
make sure you talk to your
partner daily.
Calabrese says that she and
Parker talk at least two to three
times a day depending on
their schedules. Long-distance
relationships often force couples
to talk about feelings they might
not discuss otherwise and may
strengthen the relationship, says
Jeff King, a marriage and family
therapist in Lawrence.
Calabrese says Parker has
a tough time expressing his
emotions over the phone, which
strains their relationship. She
advises couples to learn how to
talk on the phone and express
emotion through words. If you
cant do that, a long-distance
relationship might not be a
good idea.
The oath of secrecy
Unless you wear a sign around
your neck that says taken,
youre fair game to all the other
fsh in sea, and if you test the
waters, no one will know about
it but you.
Stephanie Ferguson, Wichita
junior, has been dating her
boyfriend, Phil Witek, a junior at
Wichita State University, for two
years. She says you really have to
trust the other person, especially
in college. Ferguson doesnt care
if Witek calls her from parties
because she expects him to go
out, but when she calls him, the
tables turn. People are more
likely to become jealous while
in a long-distance relationship
because of the lack of face-to-
face contact, Tiger says. Jealousy
can be avoided if you set the
boundaries early on and make
a pact to tell each other where
youre going, she says.
Sometimes love just isnt
enough to overcome the miles
of highway that stand between
you and your partner. When
Parker told Calabrese he was
going to stay at school for the
summer, she told him it wouldnt
work. I didnt want to be pushy,
but summer was our only time
together, so I told him he had to
make a choice, she says.
Parker ultimately decided to
spend the summer at home with
Calabrese and they have been
dating ever since.
Though her long-distance
relationship has lasted,
Calabrese says if she could do
it all over again she wouldve
gone through college without it.
She says she feels lucky to have
found someone she genuinely
cares about, but wishes she
would have met Parker after
college, rather than before.
Keep in mind that college is
a playground and might not be
the best time for a serious long-
distance relationship,Tiger says.
Going the distance is not for
everyone it takes a certain
type of person to handle the
tribulations of a long-distance
relationship.
The key for keeping them
going, King says, is learning
and growing as a person
independent of the relationship
while exploring your lives
together.
by Nicole Korman
GoiNG the DistaNce
PHOTO ILLUSTRaTION/ SaRaH LEONaRD
04.26.2007 JAYPLAY 15
activities for loNG-
DistaNce couples

Buy a box of
chocolates and place a
short note under each
one.

Have a calendar made
with your pictures
on it.

Have phone sex.

Make a jar of M&Ms
with the same number
of candies as days
you will be gone
and instruct your
signifcant other to eat
one a day.
Source:
longdistancecouples.
com
coNtact
uNless you wear a siGN
arouND your NecK that
says taKeN, youre fair
Game to all the other fish
iN sea, aND if you test the
waters, No oNe will KNow
about it but you.
If you have a place to go when this blows
up in your face, then youre welcome to
try it. Im not saying this hasnt worked for
some couple somewhere, but if youve only
known him a few months, you should really
spend more time getting to know him (from
your separate places) before making such a
huge step. If your relationship proves strong
enough to stand the test of time and you
reach a point when moving in together
seems like the natural next step, then go for it
(Im of the opinion that living together before
marriage often does more harm than good).
Enjoy the honeymoon stage while you
can. Living apart allows you to get excited to
see each other and think about each other
when youre not together. And there are no
fnancial issues or dirty dishes or laundry to
wash.
It sounds like youre moving really fast,
pun intended. I realize you might be crazy
about each other right now, but remember
that the fame that burns twice as brightly
burns half as long.
Wait a little longer
and you could set
the house on fre
(in the good way).
Please send your
questions and
concerns to
bitch@kansan.com
moan
BITCH +
16

JAYPLAY 04.26.2007
For some, a key to your place symbolizes
a key to your heart. The huge ordeal
probably isnt as much about having the
key as it is about the fact that you wont let
her have it. She probably feels you arent
totally letting her into your life.
So do some thinking why dont want
to let her in? Is it that you just dont want
someone else having a key to your place
or is it an emotional issue? Are you afraid
of commitment? Why? Are you afraid of
committing to her? Or maybe you just
dont like giving out keys because you
never get them back.
Explain that to her and tell her you arent
married and you like that you have your
place and she has hers. Youre together
when you want to be and apart when you
want to be. And this way you never have to
worry about her trashing your place if you
break up, or having to pay a locksmith to
prevent that from happening. If she doesnt
understand the terms or needs more than
that, shes free to leave. And you can lock
the door behind her.
My girlfriend wants to have a key to My
place, but i dont see why she needs one.
she told Me itd be a lot easier that way,
since she spends so Much tiMe at My place
and soMe of her stuff is there, too. is this
really that big of a deal?
clark, senior
My boyfriend and i have been dating for a
few Months and we recently decided to
Move in together. our friends think its a
bad idea. what do you think?
claire, sophoMore
with Niloofar Shahmohammadi
People who think the
Lied Center isnt for them
probably havent been there.
Its not about liking it
all, its about loving
Kate Giessel, KU senior
A MOMENT.

The Pink Floyd

Experience
Sept. 21
We are performing arts
The 2007-08 season is coming,
and KU students, you come rst!
lied.ku.edu 785-864-2787
*Some restrictions apply
All student tickets HALF PRICE.
*
Tickets on sale NOW.
2007-08
Season Calendar
August
17 Trout Fishing in America
FREE Outdoor Concert
September
8 Irene Bedard & Deni
21 The Pink Floyd
Experience
29 Fred Garbo
Inflatable Theater Co.
October
16 Cloud Gate Dance
Theatre of Taiwan
19 Ahn Trio
25 Hairspray
November
1 Shaolin Warriors
7 The Second City
10 Claremont Trio
17 The Merry Widow,
Czech Opera Prague
28 Peter Pan
December
8 Eileen Ivers
holiday concert
January
19 Royal Philharmonic
Orchestra with
Pinchas Zukerman
25 Chiara String
Quartet
February
8 Philip Glass
12 Ring of Fire,
the music of
Johnny Cash
15 Royal Scots Dragoon
and the Band of the
Coldstream Guards
17 Takcs Quartet
with Joyce Yang
19 The Musical
Adventures
of Flat Stanley
29 Catch-22, Aquila
Theatre Company
March
9 The Aspen Ensemble
12 Pilobolus Dance
Theatre
26 Urban Bush Women/
Compagnie JANT-BI
April
8 HMS Pinafore
10 Gabriela Montero
12 East Village Opera Co.
May
1 Movin Out
Hairspray
Oct. 25
Pilobolus
Dance Theatre
March 12
Summer barbeques usually include
food, friends and, unfortunately, the pesky
presence of fies. These bountiful bugs bring
dangerous and disgusting health conditions
to the table.
Because they feast on animal waste
and garbage, housefies often carry
bacteria and viruses.
Diarrhea, eye infections and
food poisoning are a few
examples of the illnesses
that can be picked up
from fies.
A study published
in the June 2006
issue of
Applied and
Environmental
Microbiology by
the department of entomology at Kansas
State University found that certain housefies
deposit a type of bacteria resistant to
antibiotics. Of the 260 housefies gathered
from fve food-handling and serving
facilities, 97 percent tested positive for
Enterococcus faecalis, a bacteria responsible
for many human infections and known for
its resistance to antibiotics.
The number of effective antibiotics used
against human infections continues to
decline and bacteria and infectious diseases
are now the third leading cause of death
in the U.S, says Lilia Macovei, Kansas State
research associate and author of the study.
So whether its by swatting, sticky
fypapers or bug sprays, fnd a way to keep
the fies off your plate this summer.
The sport: Called a traditional
American pastime by the
National Horseshoe Pitchers
Association of America,
horseshoes makes for an easy
summer backyard game.
The gear: Horseshoes, two
stakes and an even number
of people with strong arms
are all you need to get a
game of horseshoes going.
Sporting goods stores such as
Dicks Sporting Goods, 15280
W. 119th St. in Olathe, carry
horseshoe sets that include
shoes and stakes starting at
$19.99.
The rules: Set up stakes 40
feet apart. Designate a foul
line (for women, the line is
usually 27 feet from the stake;
for men, the line is usually 37
feet from the stake). Then, split
the players into two equal
teams. Each team receives
two horseshoes. Decide which
team will throw frst and have
the frst player from that team
throw both shoes from the
designated foul line.
Tally points from the
frst players throw. If
a shoe lands within
six inches of the
stake or touches
the stake, the team
receives one point. If
the shoe encircles, or
rings the stake, the team
receives three points. After
the frst teams player pitches
the shoes, the frst player from
the opposing team throws
from the same side. Alternate
sides until every player has
thrown. Play until one team
reaches 40 points.
The Kansas connection:
The frst horseshoe
throwing tournament open
to anyone in the world
took place in Bronson,
Kan., in 1910, according to
the National Horseshoe
Pitchers Association of
America. Frank Johnson, Blue
Mound resident, won the
tournament and received
a world championship belt
embellished
with horseshoes. Jackson held
onto the championship title
until 1913, when Rosedale
resident Robert Pierce claimed
the championship. Jackson
regained the title in 1914 and
1915 and no Kansas native has
held the championship title
since then. The current world
champion is Alan Francis of
Defance, Ohio. Francis has
held the title since 2003. The
2007 world tournament will
take place in Ardmore, Okla.,
from July 23 to Aug. 4.
Source: National Horseshoe
Pitchers Association of America
04.26.2007 JAYPLAY 17 08

JAYPLAY 04.26.2007
HorsesHoes
sport specs
Houseflies that's disgusting
Kim Wallace
Elyse Weidner
18

JAYPLAY 04.26.2007
All rAtings Are out of A possible five stArs.
The only Oscar-winning
performance in Vacancy goes
to that teenage couple sitting
in the third row, who need to
act frightened for an excuse to
cuddle while the seats around
them become the same as
this flm vacant of anything
redeemable.
Quarreling spouses David
and Amy Fox (Luke Wilson
and Kate Beckinsale) walk
into a Bates Motel-inspired
death trap where the quirky
innkeeper (Frank Whaley) gets
his kicks recording and then
selling torture tapes starring
his unfortunate guests. Their
relationship rekindled in the
face of danger, David and Amy
agree to put past problems
behind them and start anew
if they can survive.
Vacancy ranks right up
with your typical cornball
slasher fick in predictability,
despite the fact that it avoids
going overboard with gore.
Director Nimrod Antal and
writer Mark L Smith could
have learned a few things
from Hitchcock about creating
suspense by withholding
motives until the end (pardon
the gross understatement
and ridiculous comparison).
Instead, Vacancy reveals
all its blah tricks in the frst
half hour, leaving a sedated
audience lazily awaiting a
twist that never comes. The
only surprise is downright
laughable: Wilsons character
seemingly comes back to
life, showing that this R-rated
movie hasnt outgrown the
self-limiting need for a happy
ending.
Rated R
80 minutes

Vacancy
Ian Stanford
MOVIE
$3 urritos
Iro 3 to cIose
Sundays Will Never Be The Same
THE PERKS
Reservations are optional,
but recommended.
Make by phone or at
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OFFERING 15 ITEMS INCLUDING:
Ive endured the stares, the
comments and the surprised
eyes when people see me with
him. Ive answered countless
questions about what life is like
with him. I did my best to hide
him during my junior high and
high school years. But for one
important moment of my high
school career, I wanted him to
be there.
My father is 80 years old.
Before I hit my teen years, the
59-year age gap didnt faze me.
Wed eat ice cream
at Braums on lazy
Sunday afternoons
and stop at
the gas station
after school
to buy candy.
When people
joked about
their parents
remembering
when ice cream
and candy cost
a nickel, I never
thought twice about the
fact that my dad really did
remember when they cost a
nickel. I never questioned when
Dad drove his 1986 wood-
paneled station wagon 25 mph
on a 40 mph street. That was all
I knew.
When I made it to junior
high, the questions from
friends and teachers started
to bother me. Why is your
mom so young?Is that your
grandpa? Nobody seemed
to understand that I was a
product of the Vietnam War
and I couldnt expect them to
understand the circumstances
of my parents union. My
mother was one of the 220,000
war brides who came to the
United States after the war
when Vietnam ended. My dad,
an Army veteran, brought
home a half-Chinese, half-
Vietnamese wife and started
a family of four children born
between 1975 and 1985. Mama
was 33 when she gave birth to
me; Daddy was 59.
By age 14, I was becoming
more insecure with my fathers
age. I made him drop me off in
the back of the junior high so I
could avoid any other potential
questions about him from
friends. I made him pick me up
at the grocery store across the
street. Daddy fgured this was
a good way to avoid the traffc
jams in front of school; I fgured
differently. For a while, this
seemed to be a good tactic to
avoid intimate questions about
my dads age.
Then, one day in junior high,
my best friend posed a burning
question:Whats going to
happen when you
graduate?
Jessicas brown
eyes locked with
mine. I knew
exactly what she
meant. What if my
dad didnt live to
see me graduate
from high school?
It wasnt a
completely unreal
question. My dad
was 73 and a two-
pack-a-day, non-fltered Pall
Mall smoker for more than 60
years. He had a hacking cough
and would choke for oxygen at
times.
I broke down. Hot tears
streamed down my cheeks. I
feared that my father would
not be at the stadium the
night I would walk across the
stage, donned in a baby blue
cap and gown. It would be the
night I lived for, because of
the way my dad pushed me to
excel in school. I didnt want all
those years of hard work and
discipline to go unseen by the
man for whom I had tried to
make myself perfect.
My father had certain
expectations of me. Though
my three brothers were active
in sports when they were in
school, I was the one who
wasnt allowed to participate
in anything my father
deemed distracting to a girls
education. This ruled out choir,
cheerleading and track. At that
point in life, my relationship
with my father became
bitter and strained. I couldnt
understand why I wasnt
allowed to do these things. No
matter how many times I would
bring home straight As or how
many complimentary notes my
teachers would send home to
my parents, nothing was good
enough to make my dad loosen
his grip on my education. I
resented my father for treating
me differently, yet I longed for
his approval.
In high school, I didnt have
to work as hard to hide my
father. I got my own car my
sophomore year and was freed
from Daddys snail-paced
driving. I was so involved in
the school newspaper that
I dismissed the fact that
my fathers control over my
extracurricular activities was
what led to my interest in
journalism. I knew my dad was
proud of me for being a leader,
though he never dared to
compliment my efforts.
As high school came to
an end, I pretended not to
care that Daddy wasnt at
the basketball court to see
me crowned homecoming
queen, or that he wasnt really
involved in my prom. Those
kinds of things, according to
Daddy, werent as important
as me being an honor student
and going to a good college.
I tried not to let it bother me;
I fgured if I traded off those
milestones for the last hurrah
of graduation night, things
would be on my side.
I began my countdown to
graduation. Daddy, 76 going on
77, was in for the home stretch.
My brothers would chauffeur
him to the event that four years
earlier I had cried my eyes out
thinking he wouldnt be alive
to attend. The wood-paneled
station wagon would stay
home that evening. Graduation
would be the night that made
everything that was wrong with
our relationship right.
From the feld, I scanned the
bleachers to spot my family.
My eyes quickly focused in on
my father, hunched over in his
seat reading the graduation
pamphlet. I laughed to myself
knowing that he was probably
cursing the sticky Arkansas
heat as he compared the other
kids scholarships and college
decisions to his own daughters
achievements and school
choice.
After hours of waiting for the
last section of the alphabet to
rise for their diplomas, I felt tears
form in my eyes once again.
We made it! one friend said to
me as we walked slowly to the
platform that we would soon
walk across.He made it, is all
I could think as I walked across
the stage.
After accepting my diploma, I
shot a glance up at my father. He
was gazing proudly down on his
last child and only daughter as
she graduated from high school.
My bitterness for him subsided,
if only for the night.
I think back and commend
my fathers strength and
will to stick it out with me,
both mentally and physically,
through high school. He
quit smoking when I was a
sophomore, when he began
to feel himself slowing down.
He put up with my rebellious
attitude and overactive mouth
when I was still fguring out
who I was. We both took care
of ourselves and matured
gracefully enough to make it to
graduation.
I cant help but worry Daddy
wont be there to watch me
walk down the hill in May
2008. Every time I miss a call
from home and Mom leaves a
desperate voicemail to call her
back, I prepare myself for the
worst news. Ive learned, though,
not to dwell on something I
cant control.
Even though he may not
be there to walk me down
the aisle or see me become a
mother, those were never the
life priorities he instilled in me.
He only cared that I would be
able to take care of myself, for
he knew that one day he would
no longer be there to watch me
with every milestone I passed
in my life.
Hiding
daddy
04.26.2007 JAYPLAY 19
i tried to block the person i needed most
by Kim Wallace
speaK
PHoToS CoUrTESy oF kIMWAllACE
Kim Wallaces high school
graduation announcement
from Spring 2004.
Kim Wallace poses
with her parents,
Kiu Loc and Daniel
Wallace, after high
school graduation
ceremonies.
WHen people joKed about tHeir parents remembering
WHen ice cream and candy cost a nicKel, i never
tHougHt tWice about tHe fact tHat my dad really did
remember WHen tHey cost a nicKel.
09