EMOTIONAL AWARENESS & ITS IMPACT IN COACHING THE COCHEES

Research Paper Assessment

Name: V S Kumar Date: 16th July 2012 Student ID: 265494 Email: vsksg@hotmail.com

Complete your 2000 word research paper and insert it in the space below. Then email this document as an attachment to assessment@icoachacademy.com

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EMOTIONAL AWARENESS & ITS IMPACT IN COACHING THE COCHEES

Research Paper for ICA On

EMOTIONAL AWARENESS & ITS IMPACT IN COACHING THE COCHEES

Contents

Page

INTRODUCTION EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE QUOTIENT AND ITS IMPORTANCE ELEMENTS OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE EMOTIONAL AWARENESS AND ITS IMPORTANCE EMOTIONAL SELF AWARENESS

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ASSESMENT TOOLS FOR EMOTIONS RESEARCH ON SELF AWARENESS :ITS IMPORTANCE, CURRENT PRACTICE AND TOOLS USED BY COACHES FINDINGS OF THE RESEARCH RESOURCE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT TO THE COACHES GLOSORRY

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Introduction: Our emotions are the driving powers of our lives. When we are aroused emotionally, unless we do something great and good, we are in danger of letting our emotions become perverted. William James used to tell the story of a Russian who sat weeping at the tragic fate of the hero in the opera while her coachman froze to death outside Earl Riley Emotional awareness about coachees and of self is of paramount importance in coaching. As coaches, we facilitate our clients to discover themselves, re-validate their beliefs, and tune their Actions matching their values aligned to their purpose. The more we understand the verbal and nonverbal clues of the clients; deeper can be our understanding and exploration for providing a broad perspective to the clients to choose from and to design their actions to reach where they want to reach. There were 3 incidents where I witnessed the emotional burst outs and on introspection I realized that In resolving Life issues of people its highly important person to person understanding about others verbal and non verbal cues so that one can provide a comprehensive response to their situation. Awareness about their own self and about the behaviour of clients is much more important for the Coach since he is going to support the client in finding their own solutions for reaching their goals. Case 1: As a sales Professional, when performance was not as expected there were lot of stress and procrastinations. Despite engaging a personal coach (For building competencies to meet job requirements and taking a career shift) the client was not moving forward due to his underlying beliefs & unwillingness to execute the action plans arrived. I understood that emotional balance of a client is a must for reaping the coaching benefits and as a coach its vital to know A) From Where the client is coming? B) What is the level of clients awareness? Case 2 one of my client shown great interests in taking coaching supports. He was going through tough times in his career and Job. During the coaching sessions he was focusing on his procrastination and wanted to stick on to his own action plan in overcoming procrastination. Not even once he did implement his own action plan and subsequently discontinued coaching due his guilty feeling of non execution. All that I could do is, I could create awareness and how not addressing the problem can further complicate the issues for him. Knowing a bit more what is going on at home, finance, health etc certainly supported me to address the issue due to my own self awareness and active listening during coaching sessions. Case 3 My client was undergoing severe health discomfort. After few coaching session the client opened up out of trust and intimacy created; she shared about her mental stress and trauma experienced. However the will towards completing the goal was strong and the goal was linked to a Major Purpose clearly drafted by the client Despite the odds the client used to complete all the assignment and was making a big leap in achieving the goal successfully. V S Kumar 3 265494

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All the 3 cases I have witnessed myself as a coach and on analysis I found that behaviour expresses underlying emotions and knowing it for ones one self and capturing it as a coach in a coaching engagement is critical. The above understanding of mine leads me to research on the following hypothesis:

Hypothesis: No real coaching can happen unless the coach ascertains the present emotional being of self and the client

The research paper mainly focuses on the following aspects in coaching. 1. EQ : its importance during coaching 2. Emotional Awareness : its importance for the coaches 3. Various EQ assessment tools available ; what exactly they measure 4. Findings of survey carried out among coaches their suggestions in improving coaching awareness 5. Summary and Suggestion

EQ and Its Importance Emotions are the signals in life and one need to know how to derive meaning out of their emotions. Emotions to be understood in a right perspective & neither to be obeyed nor to be ignored Our trust & fear on things, the way we perceive, triggers and generates sequence of actions and we set the stage for dancing of emotions which ultimately takes the role of villain than being a director (one who directs with a strong purpose and meaning which will add value to accomplishment of our goals) Game of 6.2 seconds & its relevance:

In normal course the analysis and action to be taken takes place through cortex (rational thinking) part of our brain. When there is a stress, fear etc. the amygdales triggered and pressed into action for survival (ensuring the safety) from the danger as perceived. The normal time taken is 6.2 seconds for the thalamus to give feedback to amygdale. Hence its of paramount important to mention here that allowing 6.2 seconds before initiating our actions or response to the event is extremely critical and need to be learned with awareness.

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Elements of emotional intelligence

An element of Emotional Intelligence consists of:

Personal competencies: 1. Self-awareness Knowing one's internal states, preferences, resources, and intuitions 2. Managing emotions Managing one's internal states, impulses, and resources. 3. Motivation Emotional tendencies that guide or facilitate reaching goals. All the three above aspects facilitates the coach proportionately towards facilitating their clients during the coaching process. Social competencies: 4. Empathy Awareness of others' feelings, needs, and concerns. 5. Social skills Adeptness to induce desirable responses in others.

Emotional Awareness: its importance for the coaches Emotional awareness is about knowing ones own self and of others is the key to unlock the true potential of the person. Our emotions & feelings affect the way we behave (i.e.) what we say and do All human relationships are based on our behaviour towards each other Behaviour portraits The visible part of an iceberg its just the visible part of whats going on inside the head Understanding the emotions, feelings, actions (behaviour) will help us to understand our own self and others as well

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Emotional self-awareness High self-awareness refers to having an accurate understanding of how you behave, how other people perceive you, recognizing how you respond to others, being sensitive to your attitudes, feelings, emotions, intents and general communication style at any given moment and being able to accurately disclose this awareness to others.

Skill indicators Know when you are thinking negatively Know when your self-talk is helpful Know when you are becoming angry Know how you are interpreting events Know what senses you are currently using Know how to communicate accurately what you experience Know the moments your mood shifts Know when you are becoming defensive Know the impact your behaviour has on others

Skills assessment Do you recognize your feelings and emotions as they happen? Are you aware of how others perceive you? How do you act when you are defensive? Are you aware of how you speak to yourself?

Coaching tips: Success Key Care: In the coaching scene watch for signals such as fear and anxiety expressed/echoed by the clients which will give a clue how currently they process their internal clues. Is there any short circuit resulting to prompt and aggressive response

Consider: Try & identify why the way they respond? Be aware of their trigger source. Take your time out before arriving at conclusions so that the processing takes place through thalamus. Broaden your perspective. Respond rationally with powerful question such as A)Why you do you think and say so? Consider asking questions related to their bodys responses, feelings. B) How did you feel? Caution: Dont allow your emotions to supersede your reasoning power Coaching benefit to clients : I survived before... I will survive again Having said the behaviors are just an external signal and clues of the individuals its important to know little more on the following. 1. What is the source for the emotions 2. How one takes a position based on beliefs and values 3. core need &emotional connect guiding behaviour(actions) V S Kumar 6 265494

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Authentic needs & authentic wants of an individuals influences emotions and the quotient of self-esteem (i.e.) confidence in their ability to cope with challenge of life & confidence to be successful and happy. It also influences the feeling of being worthy, deserving, entitled to assert the needs and wants for enjoying the fruits of self-efficacy and self esteem Now, the positions that we take on the emotions that we created through our thoughts depends on the values and belief on those values. When the emotions are in connection with our values; stronger will be the guiding behaviour and actions. Thoughts (values) +emotions (pleasant 0r unpleasant) -------> words, expressions, actions (behaviour) As per Candace pert thesis (2000) the body is your subconscious mind & has everything to do with the level of our emotional self-awareness. Consciously or unconsciously, intentionally or reactively our body has everything to do with the level of emotional self-awareness. Awareness types: 1. Sensory awareness 2. Emotional awareness 3.Symbolic awareness (Translating our experiences into words and ideas & telling what we want much more specifically) Joshua Freedman has discussed 8 basic emotions, description of it focus & motivation provided.

Permission obtained through email on record. (Integrated emotion- rethinking the way we evaluate our feelings: Jul 26th 2011, EQ life. 6seconds) Plutchik proposed a model of 8 emotions which has a physiological response. Each of this could be More or less intense and could be combined as well.

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Permission obtained through email on record. (Integrated emotion- rethinking the way we evaluate our feelings: Jul 26th 2011, EQ life. 6seconds) Each of the physiological response serves for a survival need and focuses our attention to a threat or opportunity & motivates a response. BEQ: Berkeley Expressivity Questionnaire Is a Tool That Assesses 3 Facets of Emotional Expressivity 1. Negative expressivity 2. Positive expressivity 3. Impulse strength http://www.ocf.berkeley.edu/~johnlab/pdfs/beq-16.pdf ERQ: Emotion regulation questionnaire Positivity expressivity scale: 3 items of expressions 1. Affection 2. Happiness3. Laughter Negative expressivity scale: 4 common items of expressions 1. Anger 2. Fear 3Sadness 4 negative emotions Socially Desirable Responding: The tendencies to deceive oneself (self-deceptive enhancement) & the tendency to deceive others Hence understanding the emotions in an integrated manner is a key for self-awareness. Emotion regulation questionnaire can give clues about individuals on how they tend to regulate their emotions. Emotion regulation questionnaire (ERQ) http://www.ocf.berkeley.edu/~johnlab/pdfs/erq.pdf Emotions play role in decision making subtle or more apparent, practical and not so practical Hence, an indispensable player Emotional awareness facilitates facing difficult and unpleasant situations arising out of important issues on time and helps to avoid tendency to postpone. Stephen covey speaks about the inner space and the four powers which we all possess: 1. Self-awareness 2. Independent will 3. Creative imagination 4. Inner conscience To the extent we neglect these four inner powers we become reactive and bitter.

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Signs: we blame others. We criticize ourselves. We look for problems in every solution. We become blind to the options available with us to solve the problems. We get trapped to our internal dialogue due to the influence of irrational thinking Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space lies the freedom and power to choose individuals response. In their response lies individuals growth and happiness Coaching Tip and Success Key: Care: when the client is in stress with ambiguity he or she is not able see this inner space available between stimulus and response hence not able to exercise their power of selfawareness and being proactive with their creative imagination and independent will to choose from options, the right responses to the events. Coach: Lead them to this space where there freedom & power lies; Facilitate them to see & feel. Ask questions that will lead the client to ask themselves: How I am feeling? Why I am feeling this way? How do I want to feel? What facts are supporting me to feel the way I want to feel? Support the client with metaphors, analogy, sharing of personal experience with permission, generating enthusiasm, confidence, optimism, excitement about the positive picture they are seeing now. Using re framing of perspectives and visualization, creating affirmations methods will be of great value. Asking powerful questions are beneficial Why are you feeling this way? What can I do or say to help you to reach your goal? Caution: Remain non-judgmental as well as refrain from directing actions to be taken by the client. Coaching benefit: now the client is able to see, feel create options that will take them forward & say I can do the following by this time in alignment to my goal to reach win win situation that matches with my belief and values [Play gailwilsonspassion' - compassion game (leadership challenge page 375 kouzesposner)]

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Managing emotions The capacity to soothe oneself, to shake off rampant anxiety, gloom, despair, or irritability. The ability to be able to keep an emotional perspective

Skill indicators Able to identify shifts in physiological arousal Be able to relax in pressure situations Act productively in anxiety-arousing situations Calm oneself quickly when angry Associate different physiological cues with different emotional states Use self-talk to affect emotional states Communicate feelings effectively Reflect on negative feelings without being distressed Stay calm when you are the target of anger from others

Skills assessment Do you use anger productively? Can you manage your anxiety in times of change? Can you put yourself in a good mood?

Event/Situations

Gap

Thought/Feeling

Gap

Response

Interval of freedom of choice of response

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Assessment tools the following is a summary of the most widely used EQ Assessment tools. Assessment tool EIQ (Dulewicz&Higgs) Description Developed in 1999 at Henley management college in the UK. The emotional intelligence questionnaire offers both self-report and 360 questionnaires, with the latter enabling an all-round assessment of an individual's performance from peers, colleagues and managers.

Multifactor emotional intelligence scale The MEIS: A test of ability rather than a self-report measure. The test-taker performs a series of tasks that are designed to assess the persons ability to perceive, identify, understand, and work with emotion. There is very little for predictive validity in work situations. MSCEIT Mayer, Salovey, caruso emotional intelligence test" The only ability measure of EQ, the MSCEIT requires you to actually use your abilities in taking the test with questions where you look at faces, for example, and identify what emotions are present. It helps you understand the actual intelligence behind emotions: perceiving, using, understanding, and managing feelings. Focused on self-development, the sei is the only test based on six seconds' eq-in-action model: know you, choose yourself, and give yourself. The test measures 8 fundamental skills in these three areas. Report comes with over 20 pages of interpretation and development suggestions.

Sei, six seconds emotional intelligence test

OVS, Organizational Vital Signs by Organizational vital signs are an organizational climate assessment that gives a clear picture of how people are six seconds relating to each other and the workplace. Unlike the other tests, ovs is designed to assess a group or an organization to show the context in which individuals perform. The test measures six factors: trust, collaboration, accountability, leadership, alignment, adaptability. These factors statistically predict over 50% of productivity + customer service + retention. EQ map by ESSI systems With a much broader perspective, the EQ map helps people put emotional intelligence into a workplace context. The map is self-scored, so you can do it completely on your own; it has questions along the lines of, "how well do you recognize emotions in people?" the 14 main scales include emotional awareness, emotional expression, resilience, outlook, trust, and personal power. It also has four outcome scales to show the benefit of increasing the first 14. The EQ map includes an interpretation guide booklet. 265494 11

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Eq-i by Reuven Baron This self-report instrument was designed to assess those personal qualities that enabled some people to possess better "emotional well-being" than others. The eq-i has been used to assess thousands of individuals, and its reliability and validity is well documented. Less is known about its predictive validity in work situations There are 3 versions of this test. All use the Daniel Goleman 4-quadrant model: Self-awareness, Otherawareness, Self-management, Relationshipmanagement. All take about 7 minutes to complete, and all come with 6 months of e-learning and a valuable goal-tracking reminder system.

Emotional intelligence appraisal by talent smart

Eci (Emotional Competence Inventory) The Eci is a 360 degree appraisal tool where people who by Hay Mcber know the individual rate him or her on 20 competencies that are believed to be linked to emotional intelligence.

Coaching has been around since ancient Greece. Socratic dialogue shows us that Socrates, as described by Plato was the first true coach. His questioning style was designed to examine self-awareness and in doing so allow the person being questioned to discover truth about themselves

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RESEARCH ON SELF AWARENESS (ITS IMPORTANCE, CURRENT PRACTICE AND TOOLS USED BY COACHES)

Survey conducted among 25 coaches resulting on understanding the following 1.The importance of assessing their emotional awareness while coaching 2.Influence of ones own emotional awareness on coaching outcomes 3.Whether conscious assessment been practiced currently before the coaching session 4.Tools that are being used by individual coaches for assessing their own emotional awareness 5.Whether simple Emotional Awareness inventory will be useful, if made available

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V.S.Kumar (Mumbai) INTERNATIONAL COACH ACADEMY S KUMAR (Mumbai) INTERNATIONAL COACH ACADEMYCOACH

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V.S.Kumar (Mumbai) INTERNATIONAL COACH ACADEMY

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V.S.Kumar (Mumbai) INTERNATIONAL COACH ACADEMY

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V.S.Kumar (Mumbai) INTERNATIONAL COACH ACADEMY

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V.S.Kumar (Mumbai) INTERNATIONAL COACH ACADEMY

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FINDINGS OF THE RESEARCH Their feedback confirmed the following 80 % of coaches have agreed to that the assessing of emotional awareness is always important. 12 % responded often. 8% responded not important 76 % of coaches of agreed that emotional awareness does impact the coaching outcome of their clients. 20 % responded often. 4% responded not important 48% of coaches responded that they assess their emotions always. 40% responded often. 12 % responded not important 76 % of coaches are currently using one other tools to assess their emotional awareness 48 % coaches have responded that they will be using simple inventory if made available. 44% responded will use often. 8% responded not important

1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

The above survey clearly revealed that the need for one emotional awareness checklist is very much in need for coaches The survey also lead me to understand certain type of barriers faced by the coaches which influences what they do and indicates that they do not undertake emotional awareness assessment regularly If Both the client and coaches undertake simple emotional awareness inventory that can benefit the Coaching session towards fulfilling the coaching agenda diligently and would facilitate the coaches to use their coaching tools and Professional expertise to a greater extent leads to effective coaching Exploring the meaning of emotions and using that knowledge to help self and others will continue to remain as the hallmark in coaching. Conclusion: The Research has provided enough supporting data to convince that no true /effective coaching is possible without the coach assessing their own emotional state as well as their clients emotional state of being. The Research thus conducted proves the hypothesis is correct. For successful coaching the coach needs to be aware of his and his clients present emotional being; Without this emotional awareness no coaching can take place effectively Im conscious of the fact that this research paper is neither perfect nor comprehensive. Its an humble endeavour to reflect my learning during this course of the coaching agenda. V.S.Kumar

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Resources:

Note: In My individual experience I find the following resources helped me to enhance my Self Emotional awareness during coaching. The readers are requested to use their own self discretion. 1. Harvard manage Mentor coaching tools : Active Listening self Assessment http://academy.clevelandclinic.org/LinkClick.aspx?fileticket=EVxj3eIS6iE%3D&ta bid=1800 2. Inner Critic Note Book Exercise http://www.totalfocus.ie/fileadmin/TotalFocus/fileadmin_TotalFocus_pdf_/InnerCr iticNotebookExercise.pdf 3. Limit Erasing Technique - Dissolve any Limiting belief, Negative pattern or energy sucking habit magically disappears in 10minute or less Jonathan Mead. http://illuminatedmind.s3.amazonaws.com/LimitErasingTechnique.pdf 1. . Positive Affirmations http://positivitytoolbox.net/PosAffsVol4.pdf Coaching with self-determination in Mind Theory to advance evidence - based coaching Practice by Garden B http://www.business.brookes.ac.uk/research/areas/coachingandmentoring/

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I hereby acknowledge the great support extended by the following eminent coaches who have facilitated this survey with their valuable participation and sharing of their insights and tools. My special thanks to Dr Subha Rajan, Ms Katrina Jones, Ms Sunita Chhibar & Mr Bhaskar Natarajan for their whole hearted support extended to me.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT TO THE COACHES

Sr.No 1) 2) 3) 4) 5) 6) 7) 8) 9) 10) 11) 12) 13) 14) 15) 16) 17) 18) 19) 20) 21) 22) 23) 24) 25) 26)

Coach Name Coach Chandrasekhar PCC Coach Ram Ramanathan PCC Coach Bhaskar Natrajan ACC Coach Ellen Hartson LISW Coach Dr Subha Rajan CPCP Coach Dr Srinivasan Coach Joseph Dey CPCP, Singapore Coach Dr Kuno Kholer ,Singapore Coach Ann Voli, Coach Katrina Jones, CPCP, Cleveland Coach Patrica, Cleveland Coach Anshu Patanjali , CPCP Coach Natraj Valadi, CPCP Coach Vijaya Mishra,CPCP Coach Sunita Chabber, India Coach Viswanathan Vaidyanathan Coach Dhuruv Sen Coach Domic Rajesh Coach Darshana Mohite Coach Anil Kumar Santhapuri Coach Shalini Singh Coach Anjali Pillai Coach Vijaymitra Coach Ananth Coach Saul Tucker Coach Rupika Bhargav Singapore

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Important Coaching Glossary:

1. Agenda: As The coach we Interact with the Clients all the time their choices and their actions related to fulfilling of their live purposes 2. Belief: Faith Or Trust 3. Challenge: A Request stretches the clients way beyond their self imposed limits and shakes up the way they see themselves 4. Dancing in the Moment: Being completely present with the client and holding clients Agenda, accessing their intuition. Willing to go in the clients Direction and allowing the client to lead them 5. Emotion: Feeling of any kind: Joy, Anger, Fear, Love, jealousy are all emotions 6. Failure: Failure is the lack of achievement of a goal or activity to which one committed oneself. It is an opportunity for reflection and correction then forward the action toward success 7. Goal Setting: Goals keep clients focused and on track toward the people they are becoming. Goals should be specific, Measureable, accountable, resonant, thrilling 8. Holding the Focus: Coach consistently reminds clients of their focus and helps redirect their energy back to their desired outcome and life choices 9. Intuiting: Is the process of accessing and trusting ones inner knowing .Intuiting involves taking risks and trusting your gut 10. Listening: The coach listens with Consciousness, with a purpose and focus that come from the contract alliance designed with the client. The coach is not thinking about his/her agenda for their clients. 11. Listening Level 1: The coaches listen to their own thoughts, Judgments and opinions about their clients story. 12. Listening Level 2. Listening that focuses on the client 13. Listening Level 3 . Global listening 14. Metaphor: Metaphors are used to illustrate a point and paint a verbal picture for the client 15. Perspectives. Is simply the other point of view. Providing different angles to clients to see possibility and change 16. Powerful Questions: Open ended questions that can evoke Clarity, action, discovery, insight and commitment. Creates new learning ,clearer vision and greater possibility 17. Reframing : The method by which the coach provides clients with another perspective by taking the original information and interpreting it in a different way 18. Structure: The devices that reminds the clients of their Vision, goals or purpose or actions they need to take immediately 19. Taking charge: The coach chooses the path and direct the path of the coaching towards supporting the clients agenda. Coach makes it meaningful When the clients become lost in their circumstances and forgets what matters most to them. 20. Values: The Principles we hold to be of worth in our life. Values are intrinsic and distinctly unique to each individuals 21. Witnessing: Being authentically present with the client providing the space for the client to fully express themselves. When the coach witnesses the clients learning and growth , the client feels at a very deep level V S Kumar 22 265494