Harry Potter "I don't know, man. Cedric Diggory, he's pretty awesome. NOT! He sucks!

I'm totally gonna win, it's in the bag!" (Act 1, Part 4) "Yeah, Hermione, I'm the boy who lived. Not died. God." (Act 1, Part 4) "What are you, nuts? Beautiful? More like super-mega-foxy-awesome-hot! She's the hottest girl I've ever met. She's far more attractive, far more appealing, far more interesting than any girl that I know in my immediate group of friends." (Act 1, Part 6) "It was left to me by my dad, my dad that's dead. My father is dead. I have a dead father." (Act 1, Part 6) "Oh my God, I have to fight a goat? I don't think I can do that morally... *later* Oh my god I have to fight a dragon! I can't do that I'm just a little kid!" (Act 1, Part 7) "You're like this guy that's just around all the time when I don't need a guy around. You're this spare guy all the time, this spare dude. You're such a spare!" (Act 1, Part 13) "Oh my wizard god!" (Act 1, Part 13) "Well the medallion says that's dumb, so we're not going to do that." (Act 2, Part 5) Harry & Ron: "Thanks Hermione." (Too many times to count) Ron Weasley "That's Lavender Brown! RACIST SISTER!" (Act 1, Part 2) "OH MY GOD. Hermione, shut up." (Act 1, Part 4) "Accio Double Stuff!" (Act 1, Part 9) "No, it's not that, it's Hermione. It's just like, I can't get her out of my head and every time I look at her I have these pains in my chest and I just know it's her fault, that BITCH." (Act 2, Part 1) "That is a BOSS Zefron poster." (Act 2, Part 3) "You guys, go get snacks. Oh shit, we barricaded the door." (Act 2, Part 8) Hermione Granger "You know, I used to think looks weren't important and now I think they're more important than anything." (Act 1, Part 12) "Actually I have heard those things, Harry, about a thousand times, but never have they been told to me with so much sass. Drop the attitude, Harry Potter. You are acting like Garfield on a Monday." (Act 2, Part 1) Ginny Weasley "You're Harry Potter! You're the Boy Who Lived!" (Act 1 Scene 2) "It's Ginevra." (Act 1 Scene 2) "Oh my Rowling! What happened Harry Potter?" (Act 1 Scene 14) Draco Malfoy

"Did someone say "Draco Malfoy" ?!" (Act 1, Part 2) "Am I bleeding?"- Several Occasions "Dumbledore? Pfft! What an old coot! He's nothing like Rumbleroar. Rumbleroar is the Headmaster at Pigfarts. He's a lion. Who can talk." (Act 1, Part 4) "I can't go to Pigfarts. It's on Mars. You need a rocket ship. Do you have a rocket ship, Potter? I bet you do. You know, not all of us inherited enough money to buy out NASA when our parents died. Look at this! Look at this! It's Rocketship Potter! Starkid Potter! Moonshoes Potter! Traversing the galaxy for intergalactic travels to Pigfarts!" (Act 1, Part 4) "Alright, well I'm not surprised. C'mon, let's go watch Wizards of Waverly Place!" (Act 1, Part 4) "Do you know who I think is the ugliest girl in school? Hermione Granger. You know what I'd give her on a scale of one to ten, with one as the ugliest and ten as the prettiest? I'd give her an 8... 8.5... or a 9... but not... NOT over a 9.8. Because there is always room for improvement. Not everyone is perfect, like me. I'm holding out for a 10." (Act 1, Part 7) "Kiss the planet goodbye? Having second thoughts about Pigfarts are you?" (Act 2, Part 1) "I WANT HERMIONE GRANGER and a rocketship..." (Act 2, Part 3) "How did you idiots get captured, you were invisible?!" (Act 2, Part 6) "Come on, I'm tired. Can't we just be Death Eaters?" (Act 2, Part 9) Gregory Goyle "No. Only quiet. Maybe...one rain drop." (Act 1, Part 7) "Oh, Goyle rules!" (Act 1, Part 10) Cedric Diggory "Cho Chang, I am so in love with Cho Chang. From Bangkok to Ding Dang, I sing my love aloud for Cho Chang!" (Act 1, Part 2) "Hufflepuffs are particularly good finders." (Act 1, Part 3) "FIND!" (Act 1, Part 3) "So many regrets...I'm dead!" (Act 1, Part 13) Cho Chang "Well chocolate frogs, Harry Potter did it y'all! " (Act 2 part 9) "That's alright! I'm Cho Chang Y'ALL!" (Act 1 part 2) Albus Dumbledore "So basically I've being putting everyone who looks like a good guy into Gryffindor, a bad guy into Slytherin and the others can go wherever the hell they want." (Act 1, Part 3) "What the hell is a Hufflepuff?" (Act 1, Part 3) "God...for the cleverest witch of your age you really can be a dumbass sometimes. Ten points to

Dumbledore!" (Act 1, Part 3) "Are you kids ready to fight a DRAAAAGON? Of course you aren't, you're just children - what the hell am I thinking?" (Act1, Part 9) "Puff the Magic Dragon, Figment, the Imaginary Dragon, The Reluctant Dragon, And for you Potter, The Hungarian Horntail! The most terrifying thing you'll ever see in your whole life!" (Act 1 Part 9) Professor Snape "What the devil is going on heeere?" (Too many instances to cite) "And remember, a portkey can be a seemingly harmless object, like a football, or a dolphin." (Act 1, Part 3) "Lavender Brown: Professor...can, like, a person be a portkey? Snape: No, that's absurd. Because then if a person were to touch themselves (stares at Ron) they would constantly be transported into different places." (Act 1, Part 3) "Ahhh, ginger!" (Act 1, Part 10) "I'll be in the drawing room, painting a picture of the stupid looks on your faces." (Act 2, Scene 2) "Coward! Ten points from Gryffindor!" (Act 2, Part 3) "My weinerrrrrr!" (Act 2, Part 6) "That's absurd." (too many times to count) Lord Voldemort "You gotta roll over, I can't sleep on my tummy." (Act 1, Part 5) "Well, I believe everything has its place. Muggles have their place, Mudbloods have their place. And so do your clothes. Namely, A DRESSER!" (Act 1, Part 5) "Yes, I know, Quirrell - I hear everything you hear!" (Act 1, Part 7) "Quirrell, we are going to get you laid." (Act 1, Part 7) "'Cause usually I just kill people who try to get me to open up...oops. " (Act 1, Part 8) "I'm as happy as a squirell as long as I'm with Mr. Quirrell." (Act 1, Part 8) "You know Quirrell, I've really grown attached to you...No pun intended." (Act 1, Part 10) "It's like that movie 'She's All That'! Remember? We watched that together. (Act 1, Part 14) "Ughh...now two people are mad at me." (Act 2, Part 2) "Can't? TEASE!" (Act 2, Part 2) "What do you want with a rocketship? What business do you have on Mars?" (Act 2, Part 2) "No, I called you a squirrell... I called you a squirrell." (Act 2, Part 4) "Voldemort out, bitches." (Act 2, Part 7) "Hey, you." (Act 2, Part 9)

"And you think killing people will make them like you, but it doesn't... It just makes them dead." (Act 2, Part 9) "Quirrell, 'ok' is wonderful!" (Act 2, Part 9) "No Quirrel, I came home!" (Act 2, Part 9) Professor Quirrell "Now aren't we an odd couple?!?" (Act 1, Part 5) "When I rule the world I'll plant flowers!" (Act 1, Part 5) "No, I didn't see the end because you were watching it while you were on the back of my head sucking my soul!!!'" (Act 1, Part 14) "Dead?! -skips imaginary rock-" (Act 2, Scene 9) "Is 'ok' good?" (Act 2, Scene 9)