April 2013 - Whos Fault Is It?

The classrooms were overflowing, with many children sitting on the floor to do their studies. The porches were filled with students sprawled about doing homework. The playground was loaded with kids waiting for a turn on what remains of our playground equipment - the rickety teeter-totter or the slide. Under every tree a group of children gathered for lessons. The soccer field was a madhouse of activity. Casual observers would say these kids look so h a p p y. O n c l o s e r inspection they might begin to notice the threadbare clothes and worn out shoes that are either three sizes too big or so small they pinch feet into deformity. Those who go deeper and ask these kids what they had for breakfast or lunch that day, will hear that many havent had a bite of food. Most people think that these kids dont know the difference. Except they do know - all too well. Between the TV, and those who have family working in the U.S. or Spain, those who are without have constant reminders of all they lack. And lest they forget, the former urchins, who now have plenty, are the first to taunt them. Our kids may look happy, and for the time they are with us each day, they usually are. We give them a respite from the cruelty of life. But make no mistake, these kids have the same desires we all had as children.

None of the Children Pictured In This Newsletter Are those Discussed in this Story
rriving at the center on a warm February day, the place was teeming with kids laughing, playing, and studying. The lack of a decent roof overhead, food, and clothing are only the beginning of the wounds. And the healing of a wounded soul involves a whole lot more than giving them things or information. Recently, a girl I will call Suzy for the purpose of this newsletter, grabbed me by the hand and told me she needed to talk in private. Suzy is almost 13 years old. A natural born leader, she is smart and pretty and capable of holding her own in any conversation (or argument)! I havent met anyone who isnt taken by her enthusiasm and spirit. As soon as we were alone she began talking about something insignificant. Then I asked one question that changed the course of our conversation and unleashed a torrent of emotion. Suzys mother left her when she was a baby. The mom now lives with a man in a nearby village. When she visits Linaca, she never stops to visit. If her mother sees Suzy on the street, she ignores her. The total disconnect makes Suzy feel like I dont exist. This alienation is further compounded by Suzys father and his pregnant girlfriend - who both treat Suzy like a skullery maid. With tears streaming down her cheeks, Suzy described telling her father that she hoped this baby could be all the things to him that she couldnt be. The father, who apparently wastes no words on Suzy unless it is to scold her, had no response. Suzy rises each day at 4 in the morning to clean house, make tortillas, and do the laundry by hand for the entire family. Like Cinderella, she serves, but no one ever serves her. She told me that when her birthday comes around each year no one ever says Happy Birthday to her - much less gives her a present. The same goes for Christmas. Recently she asked her father for ten cents to ride the bus to school, so that she could be spared a torrential storm. His response was to shame her for being a beggar. When I asked Suzy to tell me what kind of negative thoughts go through her mind when he says these kinds of things, it took a while to compose herself and then she said, I am worth nothing, no one will ever love me, I should not have been born. No one would ever guess that all of this negativity was plaguing Suzy. Like all the others at our center, she is always smiling and laughing. What we are learning is that the vast majority of these kids are just as broken as Suzy, but have become quite adept at covering it up. Also, the Center is a place where they are accepted and feel loved. It is a place for them to forget their pain, to relax and have fun for a while. In the face of constant rejection, the thoughts that Suzy related are those that bombard many of our kids, day and night, in the ramshackle huts where they live. Feeling alone, hungry, abandoned, and totally unworthy of love is commonplace. But few ever admit this. Is it any wonder the suicide rates are so high among rural Honduran adolescents? How can any society be built on a generation like this?

We have learned there is one more critical question that we must ask. Unfortunately, that is, Did he touch you inappropriately?

As we were beginning to discuss the feelings Suzy was having, a good friend of hers, I will call Lina walked up. Then Jose joined us and began asking Lina our typical battery of questions. Who do you live with, is the usual opener. When Lina mentioned her stepfather who had recently left, she got fidgety and tears began to well up. That reaction prompted more questions. Was he mean to you? Jose asked. She shook her head yes. Did he hit you? Again the answer was yes. We have learned there is one more critical question that we must ask. Unfortunately, that is, Did he touch you inappropriately? Linas head dropped in utter shame and the tears fell in abundance when that subject arose. The stepfather had touched her on more than one occasion. She told her mother, but the abuse did not end until the man left the home. Lina is 14 years old, Suzy nearly 13. Both at the critical age where emotional wounds can cause them to fall prey to the first young man who comes along and gives them one little compliment. Desperate to prove that they are not unlovable, these are the types of girls who end up as prime bait for the sex slave trade. Honduran girls are highest on the request list for this heinous activity. Spend time talking to girls like ours and you begin to understand why. They end up so broken they become powerless to escape their fate. When sexual abuse or parental rejection happen to children, more often than not, the children think they have done something to cause it.

Desperate to prove that they are not unlovable, these are the types of girls who are prime bait for the sex slave trade. Honduran girls are highest on the request list for this heinous activity. Spend time talking to girls like ours and you begin to understand why.
Hugging Lina after her painful admission, the first thing I told her was, It is not your fault. When I said those five little words, she looked up at me wide-eyed. The thought had obviously never occurred to her. She melted into me and sobbed with relief. I added, He knows better than to do this. You are just a powerless little girl and were too afraid to do a thing about it. How desperately these children need to understand they did nothing to incite or invite the violence perpetrated against them. Our options for dealing with any kind of abuse

are limited because we have no place to remove those who are in danger. Sometimes the mothers are so afraid to lose the abuser as a source of income that they literally turn their backs to what is happening in the home. It is our fervent prayer that we will soon have a safe house. Until we do, we instruct our mentors and children in ways to avoid the hurt and ways to heal the pain of those who did not escape. In the coming months we are planning a parents meeting to educate them about the devastating effects any kind of abuse has on a child. To get out of bed every morning and put one foot in front of another under the conditions in which the vast majority of our kids live requires exceptional emotional and spiritual strength. Our kids are real heroes. When I asked Lina and Suzy if they believed that their suffering will end some day and that the pain they feel now can be used to bring healing to others, they smiled. It never occurred to them that out of something so terrible, that they might be used help heal others. What these children need is so simple and so effortless to give, I could not deny them if I wanted to leaving me to wonder what turns a parents heart to stone in the face of their own beautiful, intelligent, and delightful child? It is clear for us to see that the horrors that befall our kids have nothing to do with who they are or what they have done. But most of them dont believe that, because they have never heard the simple truth. How many more Honduran children need to hear those five little words that can begin the healing process? IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! With your help we are training up an army in the backroads of Honduras to spread that word.

News and Needs!

Meet the New Kids in a New Town! The village of Arauli, not far from Linaca, has asked us to come and start working in their elementary school! In February we met with the parents and the students and teachers. After Easter break our work will begin with a whole new group of children. An update on funding. We have matched our previous bus and center grants and have received over $3000 of the $5000 to cover Milagros wedding and home! We are also in great need of funds to buy clothing for our children who are literally wearing rags. Remember that 100% of your gifts go to the fund designated. Any amount over the specified need will go where our Board of Directors deems the need is greatest.

Donations to World Resources Group C/O Janet Cunningham w 8688 Yearling Drive w Lake Worth, FL 33467 wEmail: jmcselah@aol.com Communications to World Resources Group C/O Nelle Pettit Smith w 509 Flamingo Drive w West Palm Beach, FL 33401 Phone 561.758.2198 w Email: npsmith@bellsouth.net w