Title:

Author: <lj user="username">

Stage of Development:

FEEDBACK FORM

General strengths of this piece:

General weaknesses of this piece:

Plot: Is this instalment structured well? Do the events flow logically one from another?
Does it make sense with regard to the rest of the work? Are the events believable? Does
the story start at the right place (the beginning?) Is the pacing appropriate to the story?
Too fast? Too slow? Just right? Is the plot a real plot (a character, in context, with a
problem)? Are things happening which seem to have no discernable reason or purpose?
Are there unconvincing coincidences passing for plot?

Hook: Is the beginning adequate to catch the reader's interest? Is there the proper balance
of action, dramatization, and narrative?

The Ending: is the payoff adequate to the build-up? Does the ending make sense? Is it
satisfying? Does it arise from character and situation or is it "deus ex machina," where
the Cavalry suddenly comes riding in over the hill to save the hero and heroine? Most
importantly: were the seeds of the ending sown in the beginning?

Characters: Are the characters individuals or do they seem like placeholders? Do their
actions make sense? Is their dialogue consistent with their character? Are they described
adequately? Are they described in too much detail? Names - good ones? Dialog and
action fits with and supports character? Gender, place, time, dress and manner of
characters should all go together to support good characterization? Physical descriptions
are appropriate to the piece?

Setting: Are the physical surroundings described adequately? Not enough? Too much?
Does this piece convey sufficient information about time and place?

Dialogue: Is the dialogue realistic? Is it "in character"? Can you tell which character is
speaking? Does any of the dialogue seem unnecessary? "Maid and Butler dialog" or "info
dump?” Flowery dialog? Bad tags?

Action: Do characters' actions make sense? Are their actions realistic and consistent with
who the characters are? Is there enough action in this scene? Too much? Is the action
easy to follow?

Prose: For BETA and FINAL drafts ONLY: How does the prose affect you as a reader?
Does it turn you off for some reason? Is it too wordy/not wordy enough? Too flowery/too
dry? All "telling" and not enough "showing"? Too formal/too informal? Stilted? Careless?
Inconsistent with the genre (i.e.; a romance story that reads like an economics textbook)?
Was there too much editorializing? Too much description? Not enough description?

Structure: Is this scene structured logically and well? Would you re-order any of the
events to make the scene work better?

Style: Tone? Anachronisms/Freudian slips? Usage/Confusion Errors? The Urge to

Explain? Excessive Use of Passive Voice?

Point of View: Whose story is being told and who is telling it? Head-hopping? POV
slipping? WRONG point-of-view character?

Originality and creativity: The most important part! Originality in character, plot and
setting is very important and goes a long way toward contributing to the quality of any
kind of fiction writing

Answers to specific questions from the author:

Final Thoughts: