The Worst Fictional Bosses

Fictional bosses. They are often even more dreadful then their real-life counterparts.
They can utter the words ‘You’re Fired!’ on a whim, cause in the fake world, wrongful
termination lawsuits don’t exist.

The list below is by no means complete. We need YOUR help! Share your opinions –
and more importantly – your additions. Leave a comment on the blog, e-mail us or
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On with the list!

Buddy Ackerman, Swimming With Sharks

As usual, Kevin Spacey nails the role, this time as a back
stabbing movie mogul in a story of two-faced revenge.
When new assistant Guy starts his assistant job, the last
thing he expects is to run meaningless errands, have his
ideas jacked, and (the straw that broke the camel's back)
assume that his current “girlfriend” is banging the bossman.
Needless to say, Buddy gets his - and then some. And that
results in vicarious living for all.

Mr. Angelino, Three's Company

We've all worked for a Frank Angelino. He takes credit for
your hard work, hires crappy help (Felipe!) and keeps you
shoved out of sight from the people who matter. Jack would
whip up a masterful dish only to have Mr. A enjoy the
accolades. To add insult to injury, once Jack was able to
open up his own place, guess who was threatening eviction
on a regular basis. Yup, Mr. A.

Blake, Glengarry Glen Ross

Mitch and Murray were probably the worst bosses of them
all. However, Blake (a brooding Alec Baldwin) is their
henchman, sent out on a "mission of mercy" to save the jobs
of struggling salesmen. We don't know what you drove to
work, but we drove a Hyundai. Any boss that is gonna pit
co-workers against each other in such a cruel competition
sucks ass.
Mr. Burns
Growing up, Charles Montgomery Burns passed the time
purposely injuring immigrant workers at his parents Atom
mill. When he's not ruling his monopoly over Springfield's
energy plant you can find him drilling for oil under the
Springfield elementary school or using his office's large
suction tube to transport dissident workers to Morocco. It's
said that the former member of the Nazi party is worth 16.8
billion. With no heir apparent, no wonder Homer sticks
around!

Joe Cabot, Reservoir Dogs

I don't think this is what a con man has in mind when he
signs up for a jewel heist. Then again, our jobs never play
out the way we expect. With his no-nonsense gruff
demeanor, his ability to take away your real name and strip
you down to a color - Joe ends up on our list. Plus, he got
everyone killed (except for Mr. Pink). At least Mr. White did
get the satisfaction of putting a bullet in his boss.

Don Vito Corleone, The Godfather

His dying words were, “Life is so beautiful.” Seems funny
coming from a man that spent most of his working life killing
people. This kind and generous soul even made sticking
orange peels in your gums frightening. Driven by that strict
code of loyalty to the family, Vito Corleone decided his future
was in his own start up business - either eliminate or
consume all rival gangs in New York City and sell olive oil
(not to mention gambling and bootlegging). Certainly not the
type of company you would want to get into if you have a
tendency to whine about sick days and shitty raises.

Faris al-Farik, Sleeper Cell

What a nice guy. He volunteers at the local temple and
takes children to an LA Dodgers game. The irony is that he's
neither Jewish nor a baseball fan - just testing to make sure
his chemical agent will reach the field. Under his watch
you're issued a beeper and expected to come to work any
day/any hour. And don’t even think of putting this job on
your resume or you might get stoned to death. Plus, no
direct deposit. You're not even paid in money! Just virgins
who are waiting for you in heaven. Praise Allah!
 David Fisher, Six Feet Under
Sure the series ended with him and on-again off-again
boyfriend Keith sharing hyphenated last names and raising
two adopted children with poor manners and bad attitudes.
Forced to take over Fisher and Son’s Funeral Home after his
father’s untimely death, a frustrated and anxiety-riddled
David sets aside his dreams of going to law school to crack
the bullwhip on his often stoned and always soul searching brother, Nate, as well as
their newly appointed disgruntled business partner, Rico. But don’t let this tormented
choirboy fool you, he once smoked crack with AND orally satisfied his attacker during
a brutal carjacking. Dysfunctional? You betcha! Who says a funeral director doesn’t
know how to let loose?

Gordon Gekko, Wall Street

The Wall Street trader is famous for his "Greed is good"
speeches, but there's another quote that lands him on this
list: "Lunch is for wimps." Easy for you to say Gordo! You
married the daughter of a billionaire hotelier, so even if your
stocks hit the gutter, you'll still be on easy street. Isn't it an
amazing country when one of cinema's ultimate villains
becomes an effective recruiter for the greasy-haired Boiler
Room wannabes.

E. Edward Grey, Secretary

Collars, whips and chains - everything you'd expect to find in
your new boss's top desk drawer, no? James Spader plays
the perfectionist attorney who is aroused by his new
secretary's willingness to please. Mind you, what kind of
boss would hire help straight out of the nuthouse? The
sadomasochist relationship eventually in workplace
termination… and marriage. Who says love can't thrive
under the fluorescent lights of the office? He's a bad boss.
But it feels so good.

Alonzo Harris, Training Day

Granted he was more of a partner then a boss, but this
senior "official" forced PCP on rookie cop Jake Hoyt at
gunpoint, uses a Chinese restaurant menu as a faux warrant
to gain entrance into places and hides behind the "Blue Wall
of Silence" - committing crimes of his own to "prevent"
bigger ones. While there are bosses way above the ladder,
answering to this psychopath is sure to put a strain on your
career. But you can't leave, you need the health benefits.
 Nathan Jessup, A Few Good Men
The fictional military world holds no shortage of short-
tempered bosses. But Col. Nathan R. Jessep has no problem
stepping on his subordinates to climb the Marine ladder.
Heck, if he were your boss, he'd order a "Code Red" if you
took an extended lunch break. And every time you ask for a
raise or a promotion it would be so irritating to constantly
hear, "You can't handle the truth!"

Mr. Kellerman, Dirty Dancing

Mr. Kellerman hires working class dance instructors for his upscale resort and
expects them NOT to try to sleep with the guests? Come on! He treats his staff like
shit while he kisses Jerry Orbach’s ass, hires a scumbag like Robbie to be a waiter
(who sleeps his way around the entire hotel), and then accuses Johnny Castle of
being a thief (remember it was that old couple The Schumachers)! All Johnny wanted
to do was give his private dance lessons, dance the last dance at the end of the
summer soiree, and have the time of his life with pre-nose job Jennifer Grey. If the
guy was willing to put up with that schnoz for the entire summer, then I say leave
him be!

James Tiberius Kirk, Star Trek

I wouldn't call it a hostile takeover, but like any power
hungry boss, Captain Kirk picked his moment to rise to the
top - effectively "taking" the reigns of Enterprise. His
appearance on this list can be contested - but to me, he
always came across as a control freak who would let First
Officer Spock do the heavy lifting while he'd sit back and
reap the rewards. Over the years, he became pretty testy -
especially after the Klingons killed his son. I have the hunch
that being his subordinate would not be fun.

Miranda Priestly, The Devil Wears Prada

Running personal errands, getting berated via cell phone and
setting her subordinates to fail miserably by purposely
communicating poorly - What a treat. There has been
controversy over who this character is based after. The
answer is simple - almost every person I've ever worked
for! Emotional and psychological abuse at its finest.
Ted Roberts, A Very Brady Christmas
Stingy contractor Ted Roberts really screwed Mike Brady on Christmas. Because of
his irresponsible decision to ignore safety standards on a downtown office complex
project, Mike gets trapped in a crumbling building. The good news, of course, is that
he could also be considered a matchmaker. After all, Alice and Sam did reunite.

Ebenezer Scrooge, A Christmas Carol

In fairness to Mr. Scrooge, he DID give Bob Cratchit
Christmas Day off. With only disgust for the poor and the
everyday worker, Scrooge thought the below-minimum-wage
worker would be better off dead, thus "decreasing the
surplus population." I've often had the same though, except
it has to do with eliminating real-life bosses.

Keyser Söze, The Usual Suspects

At first glance, working for a boss you never actually see
sounds like a plus. However, when it's a shadowy figure who
didn't think twice about murdering his own family to prove
his intestinal fortitude, you know there's going to be
workplace pressures. Bosses don't get much more ruthless
than Soze. Call in sick, he'd have your mother murdered.
Botch a task, your sister will be raped. Jam the printer
and... Plus, trying to be creative under Soze's tutelage
would prove to be fruitless. This is a man who has faked
cerebral palsy and turned a bulletin board into a person.
What have you done today?

Mr. Spacely/Mr. Slate

Since The Flinstones are The Jetsons are bastard brothers,
we'll lump these hot-headed bosses together. Whether it's
the Stone Age or 2062 Hanna and Barbera taught us an
important lesson: regardless of the era, bosses never
change. George only had to work three hours a day, three
days a week - yet that tyrannical shrimp Cosmo Spacely still
found reason to fire George on a regular basis. Lucky for
George, he lived in a future where Carpal Tunnel had been
cured. All that button pushing could drive a man crazy.

Fred's time at the Rock Quarry always seemed like a decent gig. There are worse
things than manning an animal to lift boulders while you chat with your best friend.
One major problem was that the place was changing names on a regular basis - and
that can't be good for business. Some accounts have Fred's regular place of
employment being identified by 18 different names.

Honorable mention: W.C. Cogswell of Cogswell Cogs (they had nothing on the
Spacely Sprockets!)
 Al Swearengen, Deadwood
Perhaps the king of nefarious deeds, this brothel owner and
influential politico is no treat to work for. Aside from his
excessive potty mouth (unless you enjoy being called a
c**ksucker) he's the kind of workaholic who always thinks
business first. However, he does have a generous side. "God
rest the souls of that poor family... and pussy's half price for
the next 15 minutes." What a sweetheart!

Willy Wonka, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Poor Oompa Loompas. At first glance, their gigs seem nice:
free room and board, lots of singing and tons of candy. But
what do you get when guzzle down sweets? You get to work
for a mean control freak! Mr. Wonka, despite all of his
money, pays the little guys in their favorite food, cacao
beans. Their subservient nature aside, most employees
should take notes from the Oompas - they're great at
keeping corporate secrets and break into impromptu songs
to break the workplace tension.

Join the fictional boss debate at Jobacle.com.