Perspective Taking !!

The Language
Of
PERSPECTIVE TAKING
Marilyn M. Toomey
Illustrated by
Will Harney
CIRCUIT PUBLICATIONS, Inc.
Maplewood, NJ
Copyright 2002 by Circuit Publications, Inc. PO Box 1388 Maplewood, NJ 07040 12 11 1 0 9 8 7 T S 6 5 4 3 2
The text of this publication, or any part thereof, may be reproduced for use in classes for which The Language of Perspective Taking is the text. It may not be reproduced in any manner whatsoever for any other purpose without prior written permission from the publisher. ISBN: 0-923573-44-5 Printed in the United States of America on recycled paper.
Table of Contents
Introduction Part I Taking another's perspective; different points of view based on different physical conditions v
Part II Associating single causal events with specific emotions or feelings

Introduction - Parts II, III and IV Introducing characters, their emotions or feelings Emotions or feelings; causal events Language enrichment; different ways of identifying specific feelings or emotions 15 16 20 49
Part III Associating multiple causal events with specific emotions or feelings
Introducing characters, their emotions or feelings Emotions or feelings; causal events Language enrichment; different ways of identifying specific feelings or emotions Answer the questions; how would you probably feel if 52 57 87 89
Part IV Associating multiple feelings with a single event; different points of view Part V Experiencing more than one feeling or emotion; same point of view
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The Language of Perspective Taking
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Introduction
An important milestone in a child's development is the point at which he or she is able to see things from the perspective of someone else. During later preschool years most children
pass this important milestone. The ability to understand events from another person's point of view contributes to the development of the pragmatic aspect of language and communication. Also, this ability is essential in comprehension of story or narrative structure, a cornerstone of literacy. As a story unfolds, a character's reaction to an unexpected event determines the course of the story. This reaction is generated by the character's feelings toward the unexpected or initiating event. In order for a listener or reader to fully appreciate a story, he or she must understand the character's feelings or emotions, and how these feelings lead to the character's reaction. A student's understanding of feelings and emotions along with the associated language is a key to his or her success in story comprehension. Developing the language associated with feelings and emotions, much of which is abstract and elusive, is therefore an important element of literacy development. The quality of a person's overall social interaction and communication also depend on his or her ability to take someone else's perspective. Being able to understand events from another person's point of view is essential to developing social awareness. Understanding language associated with feelings or emotions contributes to this development. Perspective taking enables one to understand people's feelings and the reasons behind their reactions. Knowing
the language and reading associated facial expressions gives one's social awareness greater depth. Students limited in this area might appear to have poor overall social skills. Learning associations between causal events, and people's feelings and reactions enables students to understand why people act as they do in various social situations. As students learn more about feelings and emotions and learn the language and facial expressions associated with these feelings they b e c o m e more comfortable in the complex arena of social dynamics. This book is intended to provide some tools to help students improve their ability to understand people's feelings and to perceive events from others' points of view. Pictures, words, scenarios including causal events and discussion questions offer many opportunities to enrich students' understanding and expression of language related to perspective taking, especially language associated with feelings. Students from elementary school ages through adulthood should benefit from this content. The information and ideas presented here should help establish a framework for discussing feelings and emotions and should help students to understand and talk about events from other people's points of view.
Circuit Publications
This book . . .
is composed of five different, but closely related parts. In Part One students are introduced
to the notion that different people's experiences within the same situation can be different. Here the differences are physicaldifferent sizes, or different states of physical conditions. Students are asked to talk about how different people might feel and function within the same environment, depending on different physical factors. Part Two asks students to talk about people's feelings and emotions, events that bring about these feelings, and how one might react to certain events. In several different scenarios characters experience events that bring about specific feelings. In each of these scenarios students read about the event and the resulting feeling, focus on the character's facial expression, then answer questions about the scenario and the particular feeling, emotion or reactions. Vocabulary is provided to strengthen students' knowledge of each feeling or emotion and to help generalize this information to other content. Students should associate various words or phrases and facial expressions with particular feelings or emotions. Part Three is much like Part Two. However, here students plainly see that different people experiencing different events under different conditions can have the same feelings and similar reactions. For example, different events might cause different people to b e c o m e angry. Again, for all feelings or emotions presented, students will read about the events that brought about these reactions, see facial expressions associated with them, discuss the event and feeling, and learn alternate vocabulary for identifying the feeling or emotion. In Part Four students learn that one particular event shared by many people can generate different feelings in these people. Students see a full page picture showing a complex event in which people involved obviously feel differently, as shown by the looks on their faces. Discussion questions offer opportunities to build this concept in each of eight scenes. Finally, Part Five presents the idea that one person can experience more than one feeling over the same event. Here, students are encouraged to understand and use the expression, on
the other hand, which helps express this idea.
References 1. Baron Cohen, S. 1995. Mind Blindness. The MIT Press, Cambridge, MA 2. 3. 4.
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Ben Zeev, A. 2000.
The Subtlety of Emotions. The MIT Press. Cambridge, MA
Grandin, T. 1995. Thinking in Pictures. Random House, Inc. New York, NY Gray, C. 1994. The Original Social Stories Book. Future Horizons, Inc. Arlington, TX
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pil and Shelly see their kitchen from different points Of view. Think a b o u t t h e w a y t h e pme things look a n d feel to t h e m from their different points of view.
Phil was always tall for his age. He was always in the back row in class pictures. He scored record numbers of points when he was on the basketball team in high school and college. Shelly was always small for her age. She was always in the front row in class pictures. Shelly didn't enjoy playing basketball in school. Shooting baskets was a big challenge for Shelly. Shelly and Phil got married and now live in a new house. Here you see them in their kitchen. Think about how Phil and Shelly must do some things differently because Shelly is small and Phil is so tall.
The Language of Perspective Taking - Part I
Think of h o w Phil a n d Shelly e x p e r i e n c e the s a m e things in their kitchen from their differen points of view. Answer these questions. 1. Cookbooks are kept on top of the refrigerator in Phil and Shelly's kitchen. How does Phil reach these books? How would he reach something near the back of the top of the refrigerator? What does Shelly have to do in order to reach items from the front or from the back of the top of the refrigerator? Think about finding things in the refrigerator or the freezer. What do Phil and Shelly do differently when they need to get something from the bottom shelf of the refrigerator or from the back of the freezer? Look at the baskets on top of the cabinets. How would Shelly or Phi reach one of these baskets? Think of what happens when either Shelly or Phil is preparing food on the countertop. Who would have an easier time chopping vegetables on the countertop? Why? Phil is very tall; his legs are long. Shelly is small; her legs are short. Think of how each one feels while sitting at their kitchen table. Do Shelly's feet rest comfortably on the floor? Do you think Phil's legs fit comfortably in front of him as he sits at the table? 6. Who would probably have an easier time putting dishes from the sink into the dishwasher, Phil of Shelly? Why? Who would probably have an easier time emptying| the clean dishes from the dishwasher and putting them into the cabinets? Why? Pots and pans and their lids along with mixing bowls are kept in a lower cabinet. Who| would have an easier time reaching a small mixing bowl from the back corner of the bottom shelf of this cabinet? Why? Look at the bay window behind the sink. Who would probably have an easier time washing this window? How would Phil do this job? How would Shelly do it? What would Shelly probably do in order to dust the tops of the cabinets? What would| Phil probably do? 10. What if Phil and Shelly came into your house? Talk about some things that would be| easy or difficult for a tall person such as Phil or a small person such as Shelly to do comfortably. What if they came into your classroom or school building? Think of things that would be easy or difficult for Phil or Shelly to do comfortably. Why? Do you remember being too short to reach some things because they were up too high? Talk about being tall enough now to reach some things that were too high for you to reach when you were shorter than you are today. Talk about the difference.
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pnielle is n o w e x p e r i e n c i n g her school days from a point of view t h a t is quite different son it was before she broke her leg.
Danielle is in the seventh grade. Two weeks ago on a family skiing trip Danielle fell and broke her leg. She has a cast on her right leg. She can not put weight on her right leg, and she is using crutches. Danielle is happy to be back at school, but surprised by some of the things she finds difficult to do, or cannot do at all. Danielle must adapt to her school routines under these difficult conditions. She must find different means of getting around in and out of the school building. She must rely on others to carry her books and class materials. She must consider the large cast on her leg when she chooses her clothes each day Think about some of the differences in Danielle's life now that she has a broken leg.
Think of h o w Danielle is e x p e r i e n c i n g her school days from her current point of view whic is different t h a n it was before she broke her leg. Answer these questions. 1. Danielle is surprised how tired she becomes just walking down the hall from one room to another with the cast on her leg and using her crutches. Why do you think this is so? 2. How could someone get her books from class to class if she had to get around on crutches? Earlier today Danielle was walking down the hall using her crutches when her barrette fell onto the floor. Usually she would just bend over and pick it up. However, now she can only put weight on one foot. If she bends over to pick up her barrette she might lose her balance and fall. What could she do? Danielle always sat in the fourth seat in the third row in science class. Getting to that seat and sitting down comfortably is now almost impossible with her crutches. What do you think could be done so Danielle could get to her seat more easily? Danielle and her friends usually stand around in the hall and talk to each other after lunch before afternoon classes begin. How is this different for Danielle now? What do you think could be done so Danielle and her friends can talk to each other after lunch? Each day as Danielle arrived at school she went to her locker, took her jacket and scarf off and got her books and papers ready for morning classes. This was always very simple before Danielle broke her leg. Now it seems very complex. Why do you think so? How do you think Danielle does these things ri Danielle usually rides the bus to school. However, now that she is using crutches her dad drives her to school and her mom picks her up. Why do you think it is hard for Danielle to ride the bus to school with a cast on her leg and using crutches? At lunch time students go through the cafeteria line and choose what they want for lunch. At the end of the line they pay for their food and drinks. What do you think Danielle probably does in order to get her lunch now? Danielle must be careful getting from her dad's car into the school building, especially when the ground is icy. What should she probably do so she doesn't fall on slippery ground?
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^hese movers are e x p e r i e n c i n g their jobs from different points of view d e p e n d i n g on their experience, strength a n d physical c o n d i t i o n . Think a b o u t h o w e a c h of these m e n feels bbout his j o b today.
These three men work for a moving company. Two of them, Randy and Luis, are very good workers. Randy arranges items inside the truck as the items are moved from the house to the moving van. Luis brings things from the house and lines them up so they can be put inside the moving van. Luis and Randy are strong and in good shape. They know just how to lift heavy objects so they do not hurt themselves. They get good exercise even on days when they are not moving furniture. They play baseball during the summer and basketball during the winter to keep in shape. They have been doing this work for a long time, and they know what to do to stay in shape and keep from hurting themselves. Poor Ralph! This is his first day on the job! He too is trying to bring things from inside the house to the moving van. He is not is shape. He does not know how to lift heavy objects without getting hurt. He does not exercise at home. He does not play sports. Ralph is having a difficult time here, his first day on the new job. Think about the differences between the two experienced men who are in good shape and the inexperienced man who is not.
Think of h o w different p e o p l e c a n e x p e r i e n c e t h e s a m e j o b from different points of viev d e p e n d i n g on their e x p e r i e n c e a n d strength. Answer these questions.
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Think about moving a heavy piece of furniture such as a large cabinet. Luis and Randy are strong and in shape. When they lift and carry this cabinet each one carries one side or one end, and they move together, carrying equal weight. What if Luis and Ralph, who is not in shape were to pick up and carry a heavy cabinet? Do you think each man would carry equal weight? Why?
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Think about someone who is in shape lifting something delicate and heavy such as a special lamp or sculpture. Who would you trust to carry a heavy fragile item, Ralph or Randy? Why?
Which is a better way to lift a heavy box of books, using muscles in your legs, chest, back, shoulders and arms, or just using muscles in your arms? Who would know the better way, Luis or Ralph? Why?
One of the jobs of these movers is to stack items on the moving van so that things are not damaged while the truck is moving. Which of these movers would probably not stack things inside the truck? Why do you think so?
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Which of the three movers, Randy, Luis or Ralph do you think would get tired before the others? Why do you think so?
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How do you think each of these men's muscles will probably feel the day after they move all these heavy things? Why do you think so?
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What do you think Ralph can do to improve his strength and develop the skill needed to do this job?
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All but o n e of these friends are h a v i n g a g o o d time at this party. D a n is n o t having fun. He is feeling sick. Think a b o u t h o w p e o p l e e x p e r i e n c e a p a r t y from different points of view depending on w h e t h e r they are feeling sick or well.
Some of Mike's friends have gathered at his house to enjoy some music and fun. One of his friends, Dan, is not enjoying himself. He is feeling sick. He is feeling achy and feverish. His stomach is starting to feel queasy. He sure does not feel like having fun! Meanwhile, the others are having a great time. They are enjoying the music. They're dancing, laughing and talking. Soon they will enjoy the snacks that Mike's mom has prepared. Think of how it must feel to be at a party feeling sick when everyone else is having fun!
Think of h o w different p e o p l e e x p e r i e n c e social events such as parties from differei of view d e p e n d i n g on w h e t h e r or n o t they are feeling well. Answer these questioi
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Mike and Deana are enjoying the music and dancing at the party. Do you think Dan will soon get up and start dancing? Why? The music at the party is quite loud. Do young people usually like to hear loud music? How do you think Dan feels about loud music right now? Why do you thi so? One of Mike's friends is drinking a can of cold soda. Mike's mom fixed a cup of hi tea for Dan. Why do you think that Dan prefers drinking hot tea rather than cold soda now? Do you think that Mike and Deana would like to sit quietly and sip hot tea when they're finished dancing, or would they probably prefer cold soda? Why' Some of Mike's friends are talking and laughing. Dan is not talking to anyone, and he certainly is not laughing. Why does someone who feels sick probably not want to join in when friends are talking, laughing or joking around? What about the food? Mike's mom and dad prepared plenty of snacks-chips and dips, vegetables, salsa, sandwiches and brownies. Do you think Dan will enjoy the food as much as the others will? Why? Mike's friends seem to enjoy dancing to the music. Do you think Dan will get up and start dancing? How would Dan probably feel if he started to dance? Would he enjoy dancing as much as the other friends? Why? What about temperature? In the picture it looks like a pleasant summer or autumn evening. Most of Mike's friends are wearing T-shirts. Dan has a blanket over him. Why do you think he feels better with a blanket covering him than just wearing a Tshirt like everyone else? Do you remember a time when you felt sick and everyone around you was having a good time? Talk about how you felt about noise or music, about food or things to drink. Did you feel comfortable? Did you feel like talking to anyone?
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ff and his friends enjoy m a n y activities at their after school Youth Club. Think a b o u t ctivities a t t h e Youth C l u b t h a t Jeff must a p p r o a c h from a different point of view n o w at he has a broken a r m .
Jeff is twelve years old. He's a good student, active in sports and many school activities. Last week Jeff broke his arm in a skateboard accident. He now finds that he cannot do many of the things that he had always been able to do easily. His friends at school help him carry his books to his classes. Jeff even needs help putting on his jacket. Jeff and his friends enjoy going to their after school Youth Club. Here too Jeff sees many things he would like to do, but can not. Think about the many things that Jeff must do differently using only one of his arms.
Think of h o w p e o p l e must e x p e r i e n c e the s a m e things from different points of view following an injury such as a broken a r m . Answer these questions. 1. Look at Jeff's shoe! It's untied. How could someone who can use only one of his arms get his shoes tied? What are your suggestions? Jeff uses his computer often. He uses it for homework, games, music and many other purposes. He's very good at keyboarding, and is bewildered now that he can not use both hands on the computer. What could he do? Jeff loves his skateboard. He asked his doctor if he could use his skateboard before his arm is completely healed. She said, "Absolutely not!" One of her reasons was to prevent him from hurting his arm even worse. The other reason, she says, is that Jeff needs two arms for balance. What does she mean? Why might someone with the use of only one arm have difficulty balancing himself? Name some sports and games that a twelve-year-old would probably enjoy. Why could Jeff probably not play some of the games that you named? Just thinking of all the things that will be difficult for Jeff to do makes him realize how different the days will be for him with his broken arm. How do you think you could do these simple things without the use of one of your arms? pouring a glass of juice washing your hair 'Styling your hair with a brush and hair dryer ' peeling an orange ' opening a can of soda ' unscrewing the lid from a jar ' spreading butter on a slice of bread ' buttoning your shirt ' putting toothpaste onto your toothbrush folding towels ' unwrapping a stick of gum ' putting contact lenses in 10 taking contact lenses out putting your backpack on opening a can using a can opener keying in a phone number on a cell phone turning newspaper pages playing a CD washing dishes drying dishes filling an ice cream cone eating corn on the cob opening an envelope putting a letter into an envelope
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e people inside this bus s e e m to be m o r e c o m f o r t a b l e t h a n those outside. Think a b o u t ow p e o p l e in t h e s a m e p l a c e e x p e r i e n c e w e a t h e r conditions from different points of lew d e p e n d i n g on w h e t h e r they are inside or outside.
Here we see some people who are riding on a bus and others who are outside. The people outside probably are not very comfortable. The wind is blowing and snow is falling. These people look as though they're trying to keep warm. The people who are on the bus seem to be comfortable. They don't have to try to keep warm because the bus is comfortably warm. Think about the differences between walking outside and riding inside a bus on a cold winter day.
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Think of h o w p e o p l e in t h e s a m e g e n e r a l a r e a e x p e r i e n c e w e a t h e r conditions from differe points Of view d e p e n d i n g o n w h e t h e r they are inside or outside. Answer these question 1. Someone on the bus is reading a newspaper. Do you think she is concerned about keeping warm? What is she probably thinking about?
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Someone outside is walking quickly down the street. His scarf is blowing in the wind, and his arms are wrapped around his chest. How do you think he feels? Why?
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Could someone seated on this bus take things out of a purse or briefcase and look at them? Do you think this person could do this if she was outside? Why?
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Look at the way each of the people on the bus is dressed. Some of these passengers have taken hats or gloves off. Some have unbuttoned their jackets. What do you think each one will do with their hats, gloves, scarves and jackets before they get off the bus? Why do you think so?
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What if one of the people outside did not have mittens or gloves? How would he possibly feel? What could be done to keep his hands warm?
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How would weather conditions outside probably help you decide whether you would walk or ride a bus to work or school? Why would you make this choice?
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What if you needed to make an important call using a cell phone on your way to work on a very cold snowy day. Talk about ways that making this call would be different while riding on a bus or while walking to work on a cold winter day?
Think about a place that you might go on a cold, windy winter day. How would you feel if you were walking to this place? How would you feel after you arrived and went inside?
Think about walking somewhere on a very hot and sunny summer day. How would you feel if you were walking to this place? How would you feel after you arrived and went inside? 12
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le elephant, m o n k e y a n d mouse e a c h see this wilderness a r e a from a different point of /iew. Think a b o u t t h e w a y t h e s a m e things look a n d feel to t h e m from their different Doints of view.
The elephant, the monkey and the mouse all live in this wilderness area. Some things seem tiny to the elephant, and at the same time, seem huge to the mouse. The elephant can look straight ahead and see the leaves on the trees. The mouse must pull her head back in order to see these leaves. The elephant might hardly notice leaves on the ground. The mouse might be able to crawl under a leaf on the ground and be completely covered! Look at the monkey behind the tree. If the monkey stood looking at the elephant, he would have to look up to see the elephant's face. If the monkey stood next to the mouse he would look down to see the mouse's face. Think of how things in the environment look to animals of different sizes.
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Think of h o w different animals e x p e r i e n c e t h e s a m e surroundings from different points of view. Answer these questions. 1. Think of small rocks on the ground near the elephant and the mouse. A mouse would have to walk around the rocks or climb over them as he moves. How would these small rocks on the ground affect an elephant as he moves? 2. If an elephant wanted to reach something up in the tree what would he probably do? If a mouse wanted something from up in the tree what would he probably do? Think of a mouse traveling through tall grass to get from one place to another. How would a little mouse move through tall grass? How would an elephant move through this same grass? Think of being a tiny kitten in the same house where the family also has a pet dog, a German Shepherd. Cats are usually afraid of dogs. How would this kitten probably feel if the German Shepherd approached her, opened its mouth and barked? Karen has a pet parakeet named Kiwi. Much of the time he stays in his cage on a table next to the couch. Sometimes he files around in her apartment. Use your imagination! Think of how things probably look to Kiwi from different places in the apartment: How do the kitchen appliances look to Kiwi as he perches on top of the refrigerator? How does the bedroom furniture look to Kiwi as he stands on the floor near the door? How do the bathroom fixtures look from Kiwi's point of view as he stands on the bathroom sink? How does the dining room furniture look to Kiwi from the seat of a chair? What if he flies up to the top of the china cabinet? What if he stands on the floor? 6. Imagine how things in your house or in your school building would look to different animals. What would each of these places look like from each of these animals' perspective? a cat walking down the hall near your bedroom a cow walking through your kitchen a mouse running under the kitchen table a bird flying over your classroom as students worked at their seats an ant crawling on the counter in your kitchen 14
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Introduction - Parts II, III and IV
Parts II, III and IV present feelings and emotions-words denoting these feelings, facial expressions associated with them, and events that could bring about these feelings. Part II presents 29 different feelings or emotions associated with specific experiences involving particular people. Each person is introduced, then shown expressing his or her feeling.
Following this, the events that brought about these characters' feelings are pictured. Also, characters' facial expressions as they think about causal events are shown.
Finally, you will find a variety of terms and phrases that also refer to each of these feelings.
Part III is similar to Part 2. Here, however, we see that different people, each experiencing something different, can have the same feeling as a result. Each of ten feelings is illustrated in four different scenarios where each of four people have different experiences, yet feel the same as a result. This will help you discuss how, for example, different people might feel happy for different reasons.
Part IV goes on to
show that one single event can impact different people in different ways and bring about different feelings among these people.
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On p a g e s 16 to 48, you will m e e t t w e n t y nine different p e o p l e a n d see h o w particular experiences a f f e c t e d these p e o p l e a n d c a u s e d t h e m t o r e a c t a n d t o h a v e particular feelings. Here are some of t h e p e o p l e you will m e e t . You will see t h a t a particular event brought a b o u t a specific feeling in e a c h of these p e o p l e .
This is Bob. He likes to play with his toys. One day he received something that surprised and delighted him.
This is Megan. She will soon be twelve years old. She is hopeful today. She hopes to get something new very soon, maybe for her birthday!
hopeful
This is Gordon. He is a very good athlete. When it is his turn to do something to help his team win, he is confident that he can do it.
confident
This is Bill. He often works on special projects. Bill and his colleagues just completed a big project, and he is feeling very
relaxed.
relaxed
This is Jackie. She takes the bus to work every day. Today she almost had a terrible experience. A thoughtful person helped to prevent a serious problem for Jackie, and she is greatly relieved.
relieved
Eric is a good friend and a good neighbor. Sometimes he does things that are especially thoughtful.
thoughtful
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The Language of Perspective Taking - Part II
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Here are some of t h e p e o p l e y o u will m e e t . You will see t h a t a particular event b r o u g h t about a specific feeling in e a c h of these p e o p l e . This is Roy. He always works hard to help his team win. This season his efforts paid off and his team won most of their games. Today he is being honored. He feels that he does not deserve this honor. He feels very humble.
humble
This is Mr. Hopkins. He is a very good teacher, and expects a lot of effort from his students. Today one of his students had a problem and could not finish his homework. Mr. Hopkins will be merciful and forgive this student.
merciful
This is Johnny. He loves animals. He is always very kind to the animals that he sees. One day Johnny met an animal that made him feel especially compassionate.
compassionate
This is Judy. Every morning she gets up and prepares breakfast for her family. This morning she found something that made her
very curious.
curious
This is Larry. He helps people who need help and is often helped by others when he needs help. Today someone helped Larry and he is feeling very grateful.
grateful
This is Gretchen. She works very hard at school. This semester she worked especially hard to get excellent grades on her report card. She is quite satisfied with the results of her work.
satisfied
Danny is usually a good little boy. However, when he really wants something he is determined to get it whether or not it's okay with his mom!
determined
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Here are some of t h e p e o p l e you will m e e t . You will see t h a t a particular event b r o u g h t a b o u t a specific feeling in e a c h of these p e o p l e . This is Bert. He loves to go golfing with his friends. He is feeling frustrated today because his plans were upset by bad weather.
frustrated
This is Terry. Usually he is a very good hitter. His team expects him to get hits and help them win when he comes to bat. Today that did not happen. Terry did not perform well, and he is
humiliated.
humiliated
This is Pat. She often feels a little shy when she gets up in front of people. Today she must get up in front of people and speak. This
makes her feel anxious.

anxious
This is Paul. He likes to play in the park near his grandparents' apartment. He sometimes watches a group of children playing, but he feels too shy to join them.
This is Marvin. He is a social studies teacher. He knows that it is a privilege to live in a country where one is free to learn to understand all people's points of view. He hates the idea that a ruler won't allow people to be free to listen to and express different points of view.
hateful
This is Melanie. She likes to play with the other girls in her class. Today she is feeling hurt because some classmates did not ask her to join them.
hurt
This is Norm. He tries his best to manage things so he has enough time and money to do everything that is necessary. This month he is having trouble paying all of his bills. He is worried.
worried
This is Alison. She enjoys exploring different parts of her city. Today she is trying to follow someone's instructions and find a particular address, and she is lost. She feels confused.
confused
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The Language of Perspective Taking - Part 11
Here are some of t h e p e o p l e you will m e e t . You will see t h a t a particular event brought about a specific feeling in e a c h of these p e o p l e . This is Jay. He just moved to a different city. He had many friends, and they had fun together. Jay has not made friends in his new city yet, and he feels lonely.
lonely
This is Nancy. She usually gets nervous when she must take exams. Today she must take an important exam, and she feels very stressed.
stressed
This is Randy. He enjoyed his year in kindergarten, and is about to start first grade. Today, his first day of school, he feels insecure about entering this new class.
insecure
This is Billy. He likes to be first in line. Today another student in Billy's class was told to be first in line, and Billy feels resentful about this.
resentful
This is Jessie. He and his best friend have fun playing together on weekends and during summer vacations. This summer Jessie's friend is away for a while and Jessie is feeling bored.
bored
This is Zoe. She works in an office in the business district of the city. Today she walked into her office and was shocked at what she saw.
shocked
This is Paul. He loves his apartment and likes to have friends come to visit. Lately a boy who lives in the apartment directly above his has been learning to play the drums. Paul has to listen to drum-banging noises far too much, and he is very annoyed.
annoyed
This is Holly. She and her friends love rock music. One day something happened that disappointed her very much.
disappointed
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Talk a b o u t w h y Bob is feeling surprised. Answer t h e questions below.
Bob cannot believe his eyes! He just opened a birthday present from his aunt and uncle, and found a wonderful toy airplane. This is just what he wished for, but he doesn't know how anyone knew about his wish. Bob thinks that this is the best present ever. He's overjoyed.
Bob is surprised. What a delightful surprise he found when he opened his birthday present, the big toy airplane. He is amazed that his aunt and uncle knew just what he wanted.
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It is Bob's birthday. He got many presents. Why was he surprised when he opened the box with the airplane inside? Bob's aunt and uncle were watching him open this present. They were eager to see his face when he opened this wonderful present. How do you think Bob's face looked when his aunt and uncle saw him open this box? What do you think Bob probably said as soon as he saw this airplane?
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Talk a b o u t w h y M e g a n is feeling hopeful. Answer t h e questions below.
Megan saw the bike of her dreams in the window of the bike shop in town. She would love to have a new bike, and this is the bike she wants. Megan's twelfth birthday is next week, and her parents know how badly she wants a new bike.
Megan is hopeful. She trusts that her parents will see this bike and that they might buy it for her as a birthday present.
1. Why do you think Megan could be hoping for a new bike? 2. Do you think Megan feels that there is a good chance she will get this bike? What makes you think so? If Megan does not get this wonderful bike for her twelfth birthday what do you think she might hope for?
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Talk a b o u t w h y G o r d o n is feeling confident. Answer t h e questions below.
Gordon is confident that he will help his team win this important football game. The score is tied, and the game is almost over. Gordon's team has a chance to score three points if he kicks this field goal. Gordon is usually the player who is sent out to kick field goals for his team. He has kicked field goals more often than he has missed all season. He practices every day for at least an hour after school, just kicking a football long distances.
Gordon is confident. He thinks about all the field goals he has kicked this season so far. He trusts his ability to kick this ball right over the goal.
1. Why does Gordon feel confident about his chances to kick this field goal? Does he have a reason to feel this way? 2. What do you thing Gordon says to people who ask him if he gets nervous when he goes out to try to kick a field goal for his team? If Gordon had missed more field goals than he had kicked during this season do you think he would feel as confident as he feels right now? Why?
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Talk a b o u t w h y Bill is feeling relaxed. Answer t h e questions below.
Bill is feeling relaxed right now. He and his partners worked hard all week to finish a big project by yesterday, Thursday, their deadline. This morning he wrote reports for their colleagues. Now the project is finished. Bill is sitting comfortably at his desk thinking of how nice it is not to have anymore to do this afternoon. He thinks he might even leave early and go to the beach where he will enjoy a relaxing afternoon.
Bill feels relaxed. He and his partners finished their project yesterday. He's now free from the stress and tension he felt while he worked to meet this deadline.
1. What does it mean to have a deadline? What do people do when they know that they have to meet deadlines? 2. Bill was concerned about the project that he and his partners were working on. They worked very hard to meet their deadline. If they knew their deadline was Thursday, how do you think they probably planned their week in order to get the project done on time? Why does Bill feel so relaxed now that he and his partners have met their deadline?
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Talk a b o u t why Jakie is feeling relieved. Answer t h e questions below.
Jackie is so relieved! She dropped her wallet as she was getting off the bus. She suddenly noticed that it was missing as she walked toward her office, and she was very upset. All the important things inside her walletcredit cards, money, driver's license were all lost! She thought for a frightening moment of how awful it was not to have those things. Then, a man who was walking quickly behind Jackie said, "Excuse me, Miss, I think you dropped this," and handed her wallet to her. Instantly Jackie felt relieved. She thanked the kind man who found her wallet.
Jackie feels relieved. She thinks of the problems she would have had if she had lost all the important things that were in her wallet. Those problems were solved in an instant when the considerate man who found her wallet returned it to her.
1. Why was Jackie so upset when she realized that she had lost her wallet? What did she think of as soon as she knew it was missing? Why do you think she was so upset as she thought about the things that were inside her wallet? 2. Think about how Jackie felt the moment the man who found her wallet returned it to her. In an instant she went from feeling worried and upset to feeling just the opposite. How do you think it would be to have such a sudden change of feelings in an instant? What are some things Jackie would have had to do if she never did find her wallet?
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Talk a b o u t why Eric is b e i n g thoughtful. Answer t h e questions below.
Eric is very busy with his schoolwork, his part-time job and his after school activities. He tries to be kind and thoughtful even though he is so busy. Yesterday Eric was riding home on the bus. He saw an older man who was having trouble walking toward a seat. Eric was on his way home from work and was tired himself, but he thoughtfully got up and helped this man get comfortably seated.
Eric is very thoughtful. He enjoys the satisfaction he gets when he knows he has been polite and courteous and has helped someone by being kind.
1. Why was Eric's thoughtful gesture of kindness toward the older man on the bus especially nice at this particular time? 2. Is it possible to be thoughtful and kind even for a very busy person? Eric seems to manage to do all his work and still be thoughtful and show kindness toward people. Do you know of any other people who are busy, and are also kind and thoughtful? What are some things that you or someone you know have done for others in a thoughtful and considerate way?
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25
Talk a b o u t why Roy is feeling humble. Answer t h e questions below.
Roy feels humble as he accepts his baseball league's trophy for Most Valuable Player. Roy got the most hits and home runs of any of the players in the whole league, and helped his team win many games this season. However, Roy feels that he was just lucky. After all, he just had to stand there and hit the ball. He knows how well everyone on his team played, and feels that many of the other players contributed more to the team's victories than he did.
Roy feels humble. He is modest when he's praised for his hitting ability. He feels that other players on his team did as much as he did to help their team win so many games this season.
1.
Roy feels humble about his award. Who does he feel deserves this award as much as he does? Why? The league coaches decided who should get the award. They watched all the games and saw what all players did during this season. They compared all the players' work and then decided who was the most valuable player. Do you think all these coaches made a mistake in choosing Roy? The opposite of feeling humble is feeling proud. Do you think that Roy should feel proud of his efforts for his team this season? Why?
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alk a b o u t w h y Mr. Hopkins is feeling merciful. Answer t h e questions below.
Mr. Hopkins gave his class an important homework assignment last night. Everyone turned in his assignment except Georgie. Georgie said that he tried to do the assignment, but it was too hard for him. He explained this to Mr. Hopkins, and asked Mr. Hopkins if he could please do a different kind of assignment. Mr. Hopkins knows that some assignments are hard for Georgie, but Georgie always tries to get them done. Mr. Hopkins feels merciful. He will not punish Georgie for not getting this homework assignment done.
Mr. Hopkins is merciful. He is a kindhearted man and will forgive Georgie for not having his homework assignment done.
1. Why do you think Georgie did not get yesterday's homework assignment done? 2. What do you think Mr. Hopkins is thinking as Georgie talks to him about this assignment? Mr. Hopkins could be angry about the assignment, and punish Georgie for not doing his homework. Why do you think Mr. Hopkins decided not to punish Georgie today?
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Talk a b o u t why Johnny is feeling compassionate. Answer t h e questions below.
Johnny is feeling very sympathetic. He was walking home and saw a frightened, lost cat. He bent down to pet the cat and she was shaking. Johnny thinks she was probably shaking because she was scared or maybe cold, maybe even because she was hungry. He knew that this little animal would be miserable out here alone all night. Johnny felt very sorry for the cat and wanted to help.
Johnny feels compassionate. He knows how uncomfortable and how scared this little kitten must feel. He wants to help this kitten so she will feel better.
1. What are some things about this cat that make Johnny feel so sorry for her? 2. 3. What could Johnny do to make things better for this little cat? What kind of person do you think Johnny must be? What makes you think this?
28
Talk a b o u t w h y Judy is feeling curious
Answer t h e questions below.
Judy found a big beautifully wrapped gift in the hall and wonders who it was for. She wants to know who put it there. Judy cannot stop thinking about this gift! She wonders how she can investigate this. She'd like to explore this, but she wonders if this might be a present for her. She does not want her family to know how interested she is.
Judy is curious. She wants to know more about the present she found in the hall.
1. Judy was curious about the gift she found in the hall. What are some things she might have thought about as she looked at the gift? 2. 3. What can Judy do to find out more about the gift? Why do you think Judy did not ask any questions about the gift? What do you think this present could be? Who do you think it was for, and who probably put it there? What would you say if you saw a beautifully wrapped gift somewhere in your house one morning?
29
Talk a b o u t why Larry is feeling grateful. Answer t h e questions below.
Larry is feeling relieved and thankful. He just had help from a kind and helpful person. Larry was driving down the road when he suspected that something was wrong with his car. When he pulled over and got out of his car he saw that one of his tires was completely flat. Larry had never changed a tire before. He was standing by his car feeling pretty bewildered when another driver pulled up and offered to help. The other driver knew just what to do, and had the tire changed in a very short time. Larry thanked him again and again for his help.
Larry is grateful. Larry knows that he probably could not have changed his tire alone. He is very pleased that a thoughtful driver stopped to help him.
1. Tell why Larry was so grateful to the thoughtful driver who stopped to help him. 2. What do you think would have happened if no one had stopped to help Larry change his flat tire? What could he have done in order to get help changing his tire if no one had stopped? Talk about some nice things that people do for you. When someone does something nice for you do you thank them? Why do you thank someone? Has anyone thanked you for doing something kind for them?
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Talk a b o u t why G r e t c h e n is feeling satisfied. Answer t h e questions below.
Gretchen is pleased with her good report card. She worked very hard at school to get all A's on her report card. She did her assignments on time and reviewed her class material before each class. Now she sees that her hard work has paid off. She can relax and enjoy her success for a while, but not for too long. She wants to get good grades again next semester. That means more hard work!
Gretchen is satisfied with her good report card. She's content to know that she did her best and got the results that she hoped for.
1. Gretchen's friend, Lenny got his report card too. He got one A and three B's. He too is satisfied. He worked even harder than Gretchen did. He often needed to read things over and over again in order to learn. Sometimes he had to ask his teachers, his parents and even his friends for help before he understood a lesson. He studied for many hours before tests, and did everything he could for extra credit. He is also very satisfied with his report card. Why do you think Lenny and Gretchen are both satisfied when they got different grades? 2. 3. Do you think Gretchen would be satisfied with lower grades? Why? How long do you think Gretchen will be able to relax and think about her success? Why?
31
Talk a b o u t why Danny is feeling determined. Answer t h e questions below.
Danny is a good little boy, and usually does what he is supposed to do. He sometimes gets in trouble because when he sets his mind to something he is determined to get his way. He loves cookies, and sometimes tries to get to the cookie jar, even if Mom puts it in a place that is out of his reach. Yesterday Mom came into the kitchen just as Danny was climbing up to reach the cookie jar that was up on the counter. Danny kept right on climbing up even though he knew Mom would be angry.
Danny is determined to get what he is after even if someone tries to stop him. When Danny makes up his mind that he wants a cookie he does just about anything to get to the cookie jar.
1.
Danny is determined to get what he wants even when it might not be good for him. He knows he should not eat cookies before dinner, but tries to get them from the cookie jar anyway. Is this a good way to show determination? Why? Someone else might show determination in other ways. Athletes go out onto the field or the court determined to beat opposing teams. People sometimes show determination by trying to get jobs finished on time even though it is difficult to do this. Are these good ways to show determination? Why do you think so? Try to think of some good ways and some bad ways to show that someone is determined to do something.
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C i r c u i ! Publications
Talk a b o u t why Bert is feeling frustrated. Answer t h e questions below.
Bert is discouraged. He had been looking forward to playing golf today, and the rain caused him to cancel his plans. Bert loves to play golf. He enjoys going out on the golf course with his friends, talking, laughing and enjoying their golf game. Bert and his friends reserved time on the golf course so they could play today. Now Bert knows he and his friends will have to wait for another weekend to plan another golf game.
Bert is frustrated. He feels helpless because he cannot do anything to change the weather so that he and his friend could play golf. He is upset because there is no hope for a golf game today, and there is nothing he can do about that.
1.
Bert and his friends planned to get together and play golf this Saturday morning. What did they probably have to do in order to schedule the time and make arrangements for their golf game? Why can't the friends all play golf even if it is raining? What would probably happen if they decided to try to play golf in the rain? What could Bert and his friends possibly do today in order to feel a little better?
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Talk a b o u t why Terry is feeling humiliated. Answer t h e questions below.
Terry plays on his neighborhood baseball team. He is proud of his high batting average, and is confident that when he comes up to bat he will get a hit. In the game last night when Terry came up to bat the bases were loaded. Everyone was watching him and cheering for him. Everyone expected Terry to get a hit and help his team win the game. Terry swung at the ball three times and missed. He struck out instead of getting a hit!
Terry feels humiliated. He thinks about how disgraceful it was to strike out when everyone was expecting him to get a hit. He heard everyone groan as he got that last strike and his pride was hurt.
1. Why was Terry so humiliated when he struck out in last night's game? 2. Do you think Terry would be less humiliated if he was not usually such a good hitter? Why? Do you think Terry will feel confident that he will be able to get a hit the next time he is up to bat? Why?
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34
Talk a b o u t why Pat is feeling anxious. Answer t h e questions below.
Pat is feeling very apprehensive. She wrote a very good essay and her teacher asked her to read the essay at the Honors Assembly in front of the whole school! Pat loves to write, but she does not enjoy speaking in front of large groups of people. She's afraid she will be so nervous that she'll read too fast or sound scared up on the stage. She wishes she did not have to read to the whole school, but she is afraid to tell her teacher how she feels.
Pat feels anxious about having to speak in front of all the students in school. She is worried and afraid that she will make mistakes as she reads her essay.
1. Why is Pat so anxious about having to read her essay in front of everyone at school? What do you think is so scary about this? 2. Many people get up on stage or appear on TV and talk to hundreds or thousands of people at one time. Can you talk about some of these people who appear on TV, in movies or in plays? How do you think these people feel when they have to talk to large numbers of people? Do you think Pat should talk to her teacher and tell her how she feels about reading her essay in front of everyone in school? Why?
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Talk a b o u t why Paul is feeling shy. Answer t h e questions below.
Paul is visiting his grandparents. There is a nice park down the street from his grandparents' house, and Paul likes to go to the park. However, when Paul gets to the park he sees other children playing, and he is too shy to go over to them and ask if he can join in. When another child looks at Paul as though he might come over and talk, Paul is so shy that he turns away.
Paul feels so shy that he only watches other children having fun. He is not confident enough to join in, but he wishes he was having fun like the children.
1. What if one of the other children at the park sees Paul and knows how shy Paul must feel. What could this child do to try to help Paul feel more comfortable? 2. Paul is very shy about meeting new children and joining in their games or activities. Do you think Paul feels this shy at home when he is with people he knows? Why? What are some things that a teacher might do if he or she knows one of the students in class is too shy to try to make friends? What could a teacher do to help a shy child like Paul join other children and have fun?
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Talk a b o u t w h y Marvin is feeling hateful. Answer t h e questions below.
Marvin, the teacher, loves to help people learn. He heard that the king of the nation of Miseryland forbids people in his nation to learn about anything or anyone outside of Miseryland. This king lies, [telling people that anyone who does not agree with him is evil. This makes Marvin feel angry. lAawin hates to think that people are not allowed to 'learn. He hates the thought of a dictator forbidding people to read and learn about people from other nations and their customs.
Marvin feels hateful toward the oppression that the citizens of Miseryland must live with. He hates the idea that some people are lied to and forbidden to learn anything except what a dictator tells them. That is cruel and unfair.
1.
Marvin is a teacher. He loves to see his students learn about people in different parts of the world. He is happy when students learn about and understand how people in other countries do things. He enjoys hearing his students share ideas about people and places all over the world. Why do you think Marvin hates to hear that some people are forbidden to read and learn? Why do you think Marvin thinks it is important for people to learn all they can about others? Why do you think the king of Miseryland does not want the people to learn about how people live anywhere else? Marvin does not hate the king of Miseryland, only the way the king oppresses the people of this land. What could this king do to make people such as Marvin feel better about the way Miseryland is ruled?
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Talk a b o u t why Melanie is feeling hurt. Answer the questions below.
Melanie is feeling very offended. Kathy and Laurie are laughing and talking, and they did not ask Melanie to come over and talk to them. Melanie wishes that Kathy and Laurie or some other children would come over to talk to her or call her over to join them, but no one has. She feels hurt and is very upset to think that she is the only one on the playground who has no one to play with today.
Melanie feels hurt. She thinks that today everyone at school has friends except her. This is very painful to her. She knows that she did not do anything to hurt anyone else She wonders why no one will be her friend today.
1. What does Melanie wish would happen on the playground? 2. Melanie knows she did not do anything to offend the other girls, yet she has no friends to talk to today. Why could the other girls be ignoring Melanie and not calling her over to be with them? What could Melanie do while she is on the playground to have more fun and to feel better?
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Talk a b o u t why Norm is feeling worried. Answer t h e questions below.
Norm is distressed over this month's bills. He realizes that he does not have enough money in his checking account to pay all the bills he has to pay. He is concerned about what will happen if he doesn't pay all his bills this month.
Norm is worried. He is afraid of what might happen if he does not pay his bills on time. He's not sure of what to do about this.
1. When we manage our money we try to spend only as much as we earn, and have some extra money to put in a savings account. If this was Norm's plan, what went wrong this month? 2. Sometimes, if bills are not paid on time creditors (people to whom we owe money) charge penalties against our accounts. Why do you think creditors do this? Is this fair? Why? Pretend that you have only a certain amount of money to spend this week. How much do you have? How do you plan to spend it? What if you plan to spend more than you have?
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ircui\
Publications
39
Talk a b o u t why Alison is feeling confused. Answer t h e questions below.
Alison cannot find her cousin, Shannon's new apartment building. She is lost. She thought that she wrote down the directions exactly as Shannon gave them. She even got a map to follow. Alison followed her directions so far, but she cannot find Shannon's apartment building. Alison feels confused. Her directions don't seem to agree with the map.
Alison is confused. She expected to find her cousin's new apartment with no trouble. She is puzzled over the directions and wonders if she might have gotten mixed up as she wrote them down.
1. Alison thinks she wrote down the directions to Shannon's apartment exactly as Shannon gave them. She thought she followed the directions but Shannon's street is not where Alison expected it to be. What could have gone wrong here? 2. Alison is feeling confused and bewildered. She is lost and does not seem to know what to do. What do you think she should do? What should people do when they get lost while trying to find a place that is unfamiliar? Pretend that you are giving someone directions to your house or your school. What could you do when you give your directions to make sure your listener does not get lost?
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Talk a b o u t w h y Jay is feeling lonely. Answer t h e questions below.
Jay moved to a new city. He had to move because his boss transferred him to a new job in this city. He started work this week, and everything seems strange and unfamiliar. He misses his old friends and feels "cut off" from the group that he had always had fun with. He is unhappy when he remembers the fun he had with his old friends, especially on weekends. Jay has no plans for this weekend. This makes him very unhappy.
Jay feels lonely here in this new city. He remembers the fun he and his friends had together before he moved away. Now he feels isolated, and misses seeing familiar people.
1. What are some things about being in this new city that makes Jay feel so lonely? 2. When do you think Jay will no longer feel sad and lonely about being in this new city? What are some things Jay could do in this new place so that he would not feel so lonely?
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Talk a b o u t why N a n c y is feeling stressed. Answer the questions below.
Nancy feels a lot of pressure to get a good grade on her history test. If she gets an A on this test she will get an A in the class. She believes that an A in history will help her get on the honor roll this semester. She feels that she just has to be on the honor roll because her brother made the honor roll last semester.
Nancy feels stressed. She set a goal that is very hard to reach. She is trying to get an A on her test and is not sure she can do this.
1.
Nancy is stressed because she feels she must get an A on her history test. She must get this grade because this will help her make the honor roll this semester. This is important because her brother made the honor roll. Is that a good reason to feel stressed over getting a good grade on a test? Why? Sometimes people feel stressed when they have more work to do than they can do in the time that they have. Many people are stressed because their jobs are dangerous. Talk about some workers who have jobs that could be stressful. What can people do to feel less stressed because of their school work or their jobs?
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C i r c u i t Publicatio
Talk a b o u t w h y Randy is feeling insecure. Answer t h e questions below.
Randy feels very insecure about his first day of first grade. He does not feel comfortable and safe as he did in kindergarten. He sees other children sitting at desks, and he does not know where he should go. He is afraid to go into class because he doesn't know what he's supposed to do.
Randy is feeling insecure as he looks inside his new classroom. He is uncertain about what to expect. He does not feel confident enough to go into his new first grade classroom on the first day of school.
1. What makes Randy think that first grade is different than kindergarten? What does he probably remember about kindergarten that is different? 2. Randy is feeling insecure and a little scared because he does not know what he's supposed to do when he goes into his first grade classroom. What do you think will happen when he walks into the room? How do you think Randy will find out where he is supposed to sit and what he is supposed to do on this first day of first grade? What do you think could make Randy feel better about starting first grade?
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Talk a b o u t why Billy is feeling resentful. Answer t h e questions below.
Billy loves to be the line leader. Even though his teacher makes everyone take turns being line leader Billy wants to be first every day. If he is not line leader he becomes aggravated. He resents anyone else being first in line. He does not seem to remember that everyone gets a turn to be the line leader.
Billy feels resentful toward Josie because she is the line leader and he is not. He is annoyed that his teacher chose someone other than him to be first in line.
1.
Billy's teacher makes everyone take turns to be line leader. Does this sound fair? Why? Billy thinks that he should be the line leader every day. Is this fair? Why? Does Billy have a good reason for resenting Josie today? What are some things that teachers do so that students take turns to have special jobs or special privileges?
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Talk a b o u t why Jessie is feeling bored. Answer t h e questions below.
Jessie is bored. His friend, Matt always thinks of fun things to do, and Jessie always has fun doing what Matt suggests. Matt is away at camp this month, and Jessie just cannot think of anything that he would like to do or anyone else he would like to call. He can not find anything interesting to watch on TV.
Jessie is bored. He is weary and not interested in any of his own toys or games. He is not motivated to start something new. He waits for his friend, Matt to come home from camp so they can have fun together.
1. Why does Jessie miss his friend, Matt so much? 2. Jessie thinks about all the fun things that Matt always thinks of, and how much fun they had when Matt comes to play. If Jessie and Matt are both seven years old, what are some things they probably like to do together? What are some things Jessie could do while Matt's away so he would not be bored?
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Talk a b o u t w h y Zoe is feeling shocked. Answer t h e questions below.
Zoe is stunned! When she got to work this morning she found that her office had been ransacked. Important papers and files were scattered all over her desk and on the floor. Her chair and her trash can had been knocked over. Even her vase of flowers was tipped over, and the flowers were laying on her desk. She was stunned and very distressed.
Zoe is shocked! She never expected to find such a disturbing mess in her office, She is upset and does not know what she should do.
1. What could have happened overnight to cause such a mess in Zoe's office? 2. 3. What do you think Zoe should do first? Why? What should she do next? What do you think are the most important jobs Zoe will have as she tries to get her office organized again?
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C i r c u i t Publicatia
Talk a b o u t why Paul is feeling annoyed. Answer t h e questions below.
Paul lives in a nice apartment in the town where he works. He was very content in his apartment until last month. Last month a family with two boys moved into the apartment directly above his. One of the boys is learning to play the drums. Paul can hear someone beating on drums during the afternoon and evening when he is home from work trying to relax or visit with friends. He is very annoyed when this happens.
Paul is annoyed. He becomes very aggravated when he tries to enjoy peaceful, quiet time and instead hears someone upstairs beating on drums.
1. What are some times when it is particularly important for your home to be peaceful and quiet? What are some activities for which you need a quiet environment? 2. What are some things Paul might do in order to enjoy peaceful quiet time after work in his apartment once again? What are some different types of noises or annoyances that can prevent someone from enjoying quiet peaceful time to relax at home?
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Talk a b o u t w h y Holly is feeling disappointed. Answer t h e questions below.
Holly is disappointed. She and her friends hoped and planned to go to hear their favorite group perform at the Town Performance Center. By the time they went to the Center Box Office to buy tickets for the concert the tickets had all been sold.
Holly is disappointed. She is very unhappy that she and her friends did not get to the box office in time to buy their tickets.
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Holly and her friends hoped to go see their favorite musicians perform in town. What do you think Holly and her friends probably did when they first learned of this concert? Why do you think tickets for the concert were sold out? What could Holly and her friends have done to be sure to get the tickets that they wanted? What are some things a person can do in order to buy something if she knows that there is only a limited number of these things?
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Here are different words, phrases a n d ideas t h a t you c a n use w h e n talking or writing a b o u t the feelings t h a t you h a v e l e a r n e d a b o u t o n t h e p r e c e d i n g p a g e s .
HOPEFUL
positively anticipating desire along with expectation trusting that the best will occur confident in future outcomes faith in positive future events
CONFIDENT
trusting one's own ability self-reliant self-assured
COMPASSIONATE RELAXED
free from stress rested comfortable not tense not anxious sympathy toward someone pity aware of someone's discomfort wanting to help someone in need humane kind to someone in distress tenderhearted
RELIEVED
having a burden removed lessening of tension pleased to have a problem solved enjoying a positive, not negative outcome
CURIOUS
inquisitive wondering wishing to investigate wanting to explore interested wanting to learn more hoping to pry
THOUGHTFUL
considerate careful kind understanding polite courteous
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Here are different words, phrases a n d ideas t h a t you c a n use w h e n talking or writing a b o u t t h e feelings t h a t you h a v e l e a r n e d a b o u t o n t h e p r e c e d i n g p a g e s .
GRATEFUL
thankful pleased appreciative
ANXIOUS
anticipating a negative event painfully apprehensive worried fearful agitated troubled over uncertainty uneasy
SATISFIED
appeased fulfilled having enough pleased with an outcome content with results of effort
SHY
timid not at ease with others not eager to assert oneself bashful tending to hold back not confident cautious
DETERMINED
resolved committed to reaching a goal firm having one's mind made up
FRUSTRATED
unable to be effective having one's efforts thwarted having one's path to a goal obstructed unable to move forward "at an impasse" discouraged exasperated
HATEFUL
hating finding something distasteful feeling hostile having a strong aversion detesting loathing despising strongly disliking
HUMILIATED
with injured pride self confidence lessened reduced to a lower position dishonored suffering a blow to self esteem disgraced shamed degraded
HURT
distressed offended upset over a painful experience emotionally wounded
WORRIED
concerned afraid of a possible outcome distressed over uncertainty unsure of an event's outcome
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Here are different words, phrases a n d ideas t h a t you c a n use w h e n talking or writing a b o u t the feelings t h a t you h a v e l e a r n e d a b o u t o n t h e p r e c e d i n g p a g e s .
CONFUSED
puzzled bewildered disoriented uncomfortable experiencing something unexpected perplexed discontented over lack of order confounded mislead mixed up
BORED
not motivated not interested weary "in the doldrums" not eager to participate not stimulated
SHOCKED
disconcerted astonished astounded disturbed experiencing something unexpected upset stunned suffering a sudden blow
LONELY
unhappy at being alone feeling cut off from others feeling desolate distressed missing people solitary isolated
ANNOYED
agitated distressed harassed bothered having one's composure upset provoked irritated experiencing wear on one's nerves
STRESSED
being pushed beyond one's limits feeling pressure strained carrying too heavy a burden
INSECURE
anxious not confident a little frightened nervous uncertain
DISAPPOINTED
dissatisfied discouraged experiencing failure to meet an expectation having one's hopes dashed
RESENTFUL
annoyed i\\ will toward someone displeased bitter toward someone hostile toward someone
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On p a g e s 52 to 86, you will see t h a t different events or experiences c a n bring a b o u t t h e same feeling or e m o t i o n in different p e o p l e . Here are some of t h e p e o p l e w h o you will m e e t . You will see t h a t four different p e o p l e have very similar feelings in four very different situations. This is Sophie. She is in the eighth grade. Something just happened that made her happy.
happy
This is Maggie. She takes good care of her daughter, Kayla. Something has just made Maggie happy.
happy
This is Tony. He has a job and has many friends. Lately something has made Tony very happy.
happy
This is Eddie. He knows a lot about cars and motorcycles. Something has just happened that has made Eddie happy.
happy
This is Sheila. She owns her own car and drives to work every day. Something happened this morning that made Sheila angry.
angry
This is Ben. He loves to play with his toy bunny. Sometimes something happens that makes Ben angry.
angry
This is Christine. She works at a bank in the city. One day something happened that made her angry.
This is George. He goes to work in the evenings. One evening while he was getting ready for work he discovered something that made him angry.
angry
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The Language of Perspective Taking - Part III
Here are some of t h e p e o p l e w h o you will m e e t . You will see t h a t four different p e o p l e h a v e very similar feelings in four very different situations. This is Alex. He works hard to be the best that he can at his job. His job makes him very proud. He's a soldier in the United States Army.
proud
This is Mr. Wallace. He loves his son James. One day James achieved something that made Mr. Wallace very proud.
proud
This is Jackie. She is pleased to have the chance to coach her sister's baseball team. Something recently happened that made Jackie very proud.
proud
This is Ned. He has just accomplished something that makes him feel proud.
proud
This is Derrick. He likes to play with his toy truck. One day Derrick saw something that made him feel jealous.
jealous
This is Marshall. He takes the bus to work. Sometimes he thinks about something that makes him feel jealous.
jealous
This is Eva. She does an excellent job at work. Sometimes at work, however, she feels jealous.
jealous
This is Jeremy. He is healthy, but not very strong. One day Jeremy met someone who made him feel jealous.
jealous
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Here are some of t h e p e o p l e w h o you will m e e t . You will see t h a t four different p e o p l e have very similar feelings in four very different situations. This is Lucy. She enjoys working as a waitress. One day something happened that made Lucy feel really embarrassed.
embarrassed
This is Bill. He's a happy friendly guy. One day, however, something happened that made him feel embarrassed.
embarrassed
This is Irene. She enjoys working with plants. Recently she had an experience that made her feel embarrassed.
embarrassed
This is Mark. He is working hard to succeed in his business. One day something happened to Mark that made him feel very embarrassed.
embarrassed
This is Bruce. He is a freshman in high school. One day Bruce came home from school and was struck with terrible fear.
fear
This is Laurie. She is little Jimmy's favorite babysitter. One day while she was taking care of Jimmy something frightening happened. She hoped Jimmy would not sense her fear.
fear
This is Teddy. He likes to go to his grandparents' house. One day at his grandparents' house something happened that frightened Teddy.
fear
This is Hank. He lives in an apartment in the city. One day Hank was doing something in his apartment and he got scared.
fear
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Here are some of t h e p e o p l e w h o you will m e e t . You will see t h a t four different p e o p l e h a v e very similar feelings in four very different situations. This is Jack. He lives in an apartment outside of town. He often becomes disgusted because the trash cans behind his building are not emptied often enough.
disgusted
This is Jamie. One day Jamie felt disgusted because of something that her brother and his friends neglected to do.
disgusted
This is Pam. She pays her family's bills each month. One month Pam had to pay a bill that caused her to feel simply disgusted!
disgusted
This is Nancy. She takes good care of her car. Nancy is disgusted in the winter when her car gets dirty and cannot be washed because it's too cold.
disgusted
This is David. David loved his pet cat, Beanie. One day Beanie became very sick and David knew he would never see her again. This makes David feel very sad.
sad
This is Sadie. One day her beautiful string of pearls broke. Sadie was very sad to see her beautiful pearl necklace fall apart.
sad
This is Jason. He and Corey were best friends. When Corey's family moved away Jason felt very sad.
sad
This Is Howard. He has had his car for a long time. One day Howard realized that he could no longer afford to make all the repairs that his car needed. This made him feel sad.
sad
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Here are some of t h e p e o p l e w h o you will m e e t . You will see t h a t four different p e o p l e have very similar feelings in four very different situations. This is Lacey. Generally she studies and is well prepared for tests. Once she did not study hard enough. She did something that caused her to feel guilty.
guilt
This is Bev. Her friends were encouraging her to lose some weight. Bev tried, but she did something that made her feel very guilty.
guilt
This is Adam. He knows he should eat the lunch that his mom packs for him. Sometimes he does not eat all of his lunch. He throws some of the food away, and he feels guilty when he does this.
guilt
This is Brad. He loves to play baseball. One day while he was hitting a ball in his backyard he did something that caused him to feel quite guilty.
guilt
This is Millie. She has many friends and many interesting things to do. Most of all, however, Millie loves her grandchildren.
love
This is Tina. Tina has a new boyfriend named Ian. She thinks she is falling in love with him.
love
This is Kenny. He got a puppy for his birthday. Kenny loves his puppy. He knows they will be best friends for a long time.
love
Here are Mr. and Mrs. Garcia. They do everything they can to make their daughter, Rosa happy. Mr. and Mrs. Garcia love little Rosa very much.
love
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Both of these pictures show s o m e o n e w h o is in a n happy situation.
Sophie is in the eighth grade. She plays basketball on her school's basketball team. She practices shooting baskets every chance she gets. She practices at school, on the playground, at the park and even in her back yard at home. She is one of the hardest working players on her team. This season her school's team won enough games to qualify for the play-offs. The last of three games in the play-offs determined the championship. This third game was very exciting The game was tied with only seconds to go. Sophie had the ball and decided to try for the basket. She made a clean shot that went straight into the basket just as the final buzzer went off ending the game! Sophie and her teammates had just won the championship. This made Sophie very happy. All of the practicing that Sophie had done seemed to pay off at that moment. She knew she had helped her team win that championship. Everyone on the team was overjoyed!
Maggie loves her daughter, Kayla. She is happy when she sees Kayla happily playing with her toys . Maggie always tries to find a special toy for Kayla for birthday and holiday gifts. Last week, for Kayla's fourth birthday Maggie tried to find something that Kayla would especially enjoy. She went to many different stores looking for a wonderful gift for Kayla. Maggie found the perfect birthday present for Kayla at a new toy store in town. It was a big cuddly toy bunny. She put the bunny in a box and wrapped it using beautiful paper and ribbon. When Kayla opened the gift and saw the big soft bunny she squealed with delight. She hugged the bunny and said that it was just what she wanted. Kayla has played with her new bunny every day since her birthday. Maggie is very happy.
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Both of these pictures show s o m e o n e w h o is in a n happy situation.
Tony met Ann last summer. He thought she was the kindest, happiest person he had ever met. He got to know her over the next few months. Knowing Ann is one of the greatest pleasures Tony could have imagined. He fell in love with her and asked her to marry him. Tony thought he must be the luckiest man in the world when Ann said she would marry him. The day that they got married was truly a joyful day for Tony. He is very happy knowing that he and Ann will be partners for life.
Eddie knows a lot about cars and motorcycles. He can fix almost anything on a car or a motorcycle. He especially loves motorcycles. He likes to read magazines about motorcycles and go to shows where the new models of motorcycles are shown. He has always dreamed of owning his own motorcycle. As Eddie learned about motorcycles he saved his money to buy one for himself. He saved all that he could for a long time, and one day had enough money to buy a motorcycle of his own. This year Eddie had extra joy in going to shows and reading about motorcycles. This year he was shopping for a motorcycle of his own. Eddie shopped until he found just the right motorcycle and bought the best one that he could. He is happy to have his motorcycle. He rides it almost every day and thinks of how lucky he is.
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Think a b o u t h o w e a c h of these p e o p l e feels. Answer t h e questions.
Sophie loved playing on her basketball team. Sophie is especially happy because she knows that her shot in the last seconds of the game helped her team win the championship.
Maggie is really happy to know how much Kayla loves her new bunny. She is delighted that she found such a wonderful gift for Kayla's birthday.
Tony hopes that he and Ann will always be as happy as they are today.
Eddie is very happy with his motorcycle. He loves riding it. He thinks about riding it on a trip all the way across the country someday.
1. Why is Sophie so happy? How does she feel about her team winning this important game? Is Sophie sorry that she spent so much time practicing before the game? Why do you think so? 2. What makes Maggie happy? How does Maggie feel about Kayla's birthday present? How do you know? 3. How does Tony feel about Ann? How does he feel about marrying Ann? 4. How does Eddie feel about his motorcycle? What makes you think that he feels this way?
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Both of these pictures show s o m e o n e w h o is e x p e r i e n c i n g something t h a t makes t h e m angry. Sheila is a careful driver. She concentrates anrJI pays attention to other cars around her while she is driving. One day, while driving to work, something happened that made Sheila very angry. She was driving down a busy street. As she approached an intersection she was slowing down preparing to stop for a red light. Someone who wasl driving the car behind Sheila did not slow down. Hef drove his car right into the back of Sheila's car! Sheila was not hurt in the accident, but the back of her car was damaged. The driver of the car who crashed into Sheila's car seemed not to notice the red light. When the< police arrived, they talked to the other driver ar^ decided that he had caused this accident. They accused him of driving recklessly. Sheila's car was towed away and taken to a shop to be repaired. Sheila had to wait more than a ] week for her car to be repaired. She is very angry when she thinks about what happened.
Little Ben's favorite toy is his bunny. He plays with his toy bunny and sometimes takes it with him when he goes places with his family. He takes his bunny to bed each night. He is angry when he cannot find his bunny or when he can't take it with him. Sometimes his big brother, Kevin takes the bunny away from Ben. When Ben tries to get his bunny back Kevin runs away and takes the bunny with him. Sometimes Kevin hides Ben's bunny and laughs while Ben looks for it. Ben becomes very angry and cries when Kevin takes his bunny away or hides it from him. Often Mom or Dad punish Kevin for doing this to Ben.
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Both of these pictures show s o m e o n e w h o is e x p e r i e n c i n g something t h a t makes t h e m angry. Christine works at a bank in the business district of the city. Sometimes she and her friends meet for lunch in a restaurant. Christine enjoys going out to lunch with her friends. Even though Christine works hard all morning she fries to look her best when she meets her friends for lunch at the restaurant. One day, just after a heavy rain, Christine was on her way to meet her friends for lunch. As Christine was about to cross the street a motorcycle passed by very fast and splashed water all over her. The motorcycle rider did not look to see if anyone was standing near the curb. What started out to be a pleasant event suddenly became very unpleasant for Christine. The water had splashed up and gotten her outfit all wet and dirty. She was uncomfortable and she knew that she looked messy. She felt very
angry.
George works as a bartender in a nice club downtown. George likes to look good when he goes to work. One day George went out to buy a new pair of shoes. He came home and put the new shoes in the front hall. He took his dog, Skipper for a walk, then started to get ready for work. When he went to get his new shoes he saw that Skipper had chewed up one of his new shoes and was starting to chew the other shoe! George had to wear his old shoes to work that night. He did not look as nice as he would have looked wearing his new shoes. George loves his dog, but that day Skipper made him very angry. Also George realized that he should have put his new shoes in a place where his dog could not get to them. George feels a little angry at himself for leaving his new shoes on the floor in the front hall where Skipper could easily find them.
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Sheila is angry when she thinks about her car accident. She is a careful driver. The driver who caused the accident was not careful. He was not paying attention while he was driving. She is very angry at that driver.
Ben is angry when he thinks about Kevin teasing him and taking his bunny right out of his] arms. He thinks about how Kevin takes his bunny and runs| away with it or hides it. Kevin can really make Ben feel angryll
Christine feels angry as she thinks about what happened to her on her way to the restaurant earlier today.
George becomes angry just thinking about Skipper chewing up his new shoes! He is angry because his new shoes are ruined.
1. How does Sheila feel about her car and her driving ability? How do you know? How does she feel about the driver who hit her car? Why do you think she feels this way? 2. 3. 4. How does Ben feel when Kevin teases him and takes his bunny away? How does Kevin probably feel when he does this? How do Mom and Dad feel about Kevin teasing Ben? How does Christine feel about what happened to her on her way to lunch? Why do think Christine feels angry toward the biker who splashed her? How does George usually feel toward his dog? How does he feel about what happened to his shoes? Could George have done anything to prevent this from happening?
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Both of these pictures show s o m e o n e w h o is proud of something or s o m e o n e
Alex is proud to be a soldier in the United States Army. He is wanted to be a soldier ever since he was a child. Alex's dad was a soldier when he was younger. Alex knows how important his country is to him. He also knows that soldiers are strong and brave and always ready to defend their country. Alex is proud to wear his uniform and march in parades with other soldiers. He walks straight and holds his head up high. He feels strong and brave and knows that he will always be ready to defend his country.
Mr. Wallace loves his son, James and is very proud of him. He wants James to grow up to be happy and ready to do whatever he wants to do. Mr. Wallace knows it is important for James to get a good education and to learn all that he can while he is in school. He always encourages James to work hard at school. He checks James's homework every night and helps him when he needs help. James's hard work paid off this year. He got his report card and he got straight As! Mr. Wallace was very pleased that James worked hard to get such good grades and such a good report card. He told James that he should be proud of himself as well.
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Both of these pictures show s o m e o n e w h o is proud of something or s o m e o n e .
Jackie loved coaching her little sister's basketball team. The girls worked very hard to do their best in every game that they played. They came to practice on time and were always willing foj practice before their games. They worked on their' skills on the playground at recess time and in the park after school. At the end of the season Jackie's team won the | state championship game. They are the new state champions! Jackie was always proud of her team because they were so good to each other and they worked so well as a team. Her team played well enough to be the best in the state. When the team won the important championship game Jackie was especially proud.
Ned and his family live on a farm. Ned helps take care of all the farm animals, but he takes special care of one of the pigs. Ned planned to enter his pig in a competition at the county fair this year. He learned all that he could about raising a healthy animal and did just what he was supposed to do to raise a nice healthy pig. At the fair Ned's pig was judged to be the best pig entered. Ned won the first prize for his pig, the blue ribbon. Ned was very proud. He knew that he did a good job raising his pig and he was proud to know that his good work helped to win this blue ribbon. .-Mr >L
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1. How does Alex feel about being a soldier? How does he feel about his country? Why do you think Alex decided to become a soldier? 2. Why do you think Mr. Wallace is proud of James? How does Mr. Wallace hope James feels about school? 3. Why is Jackie proud of her basketball team today? Would she feel proud if the team had not won the championship? Why? 4. Why does Ned feel proud today? What do you think helped the judges decide to award Ned the blue ribbon?
The Language of Perspective Taking -
Part
III
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Both of these pictures show s o m e o n e w h o is jealous (or envious) for s o m e reason.
Derrick likes to play with his toy truck. He imagines that he is a construction worker and is driving his big powerful truck around construction sites. One day he took his truck to the park to play in the big sandbox. He wanted to pretend that the sandbox was a real construction site and that he was working on a big job. When Derrick got to the park he saw his friend, Debbie playing in the sandbox. She had a new truck! Her truck was bigbigger than Derrick's truck. It had fat tires and big doors that really opened and shut. She could fill her truck with sand and pretend that it was carrying a load of dirt to a real construction site. Suddenly Derrick's truck seemed small and simple. Debbie's truck was bigger and better than his truck. He did not think it was fair that Debbie had a truck that was bigger and better than his. He did not like this at all! Derrick was jealous of Debbie. Why should she have such a big exciting truck when Derrick only had a small plain truck?
Marshall works as a stockbroker in the city. He wears a suit to work and carries a briefcase filled with papers that he reads when he gets home from work. Marshall rides the bus to work. Sometimes as Marshall waits for the bus he sees Eddie riding to work on his motorcycle. Marshall knows that Eddie is going to work to fix cars and motorcycles. He gets to wear comfortable clothes and ride his motorcycle to work. Eddie probably gets to work with exciting cars all day and does not have to work with papers when he gets home. Marshall envies Eddie. He wishes that he could work with machines and wear comfortable clothes to work. Marshall thinks that Eddie is just lucky that he knows so much about how cars and motorcycles work. Marshall wishes that he knew more about machines and how to fix car and motorcycle engines. He imagines Eddie going to exciting races and helping the race car drivers take care of their cars. He wishes he had an exciting job like Eddie's.
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Both of these pictures show s o m e o n e w h o is jealous (or envious) for some reason.
Eva works very hard at her job. The boss thinks Eva does good work so she gives Eva many important things to do. Sometimes she sends Eva to important meetings and asks her to share new important information with others in the office. Eva learns new things quickly and easily. She knows this is why she gets so much important Eva's desk is next to Claire's desk at work. Claire never has as much work as Eva. The boss only gives Claire a few things to do each day. Claire gets her work done and is able to go home on time. Eva often stays late so she can get her work done. Eva sometimes resents the fact that she works very hard and Claire does not seem to work hard at all. Eva is g\ad that the boss Vikes her work. Bu\ she sometimes wishes that she had only as much work to do as Claire does. Eva envys Claire for being able to go home at the same time each day while she must sometimes stay to finish her work.
/<T^
Jeremy is healthy but he does not feel very strong. Sometimes he has to ask for help when he needs to lift something heavy. He gets exhausted trying to do just a few push-ups. Jeremy decided to work out at the gym so he could build up his strength and his muscles. On Jeremy's first day at the gym he met Doug. Doug had been working out for years, and his body was strong and muscular. Doug could lift hundreds of pounds working with free weights and can do dozens of push-ups without getting tired. Jeremy does not think he will ever be as strong and muscular as Doug. Jeremy thinks that guys like Doug are just lucky. He thinks that they must naturally have big strong muscles. Jeremy is jealous. He wishes he was as strong as Doug.
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Derrick is jealous of Debbie. He wishes that he had a big toy truck like Debbie's. He doesn't think it is fair that Debbie has such a big truck that can do so many things, and he has only a small truck.
Marshall thinks of all fun and excitement that Eddie has working with cars and motorcycles. He envies Eddie because he gets to dress comfortably and ride his motorcycle to work while Marshall has to wear a suit and ride the bus to work.
^ _ . . . _ _ Eva envies Claire. Claire J^m^ '"^ \ seems to have much less *w work than Eva has. MRf *Jt / sAl
r 1
Jeremy is jealous of Doug. H e resents the idea that some guys seem to be strong and muscular naturally while he has to work so hard to improve his muscles and his strength.
1. What does Derrick think about his truck now that he has seen Debbie's truck? What did he think about his truck before he saw Debbie's truck? 2. 3. What does Marshall think about Eddie's job? What does Marshall wish? How are his and Eddie's jobs different? What does Eva think are some good things and some bad things about her job? How does she feel about Claire's job? Who do you think will have a more important job in this company someday? Why? How does Jeremy feel about his strength? Why is he jealous of Doug?
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Both of these pictures show s o m e o n e w h o is in a n embarrassing situation.
Lucy enjoys her job as a waiter in a nice restaurant downtown. She enjoys serving her customers and feels that she always does a good job at work. One day Lucy had a very embarrassing experience. She was placing a customer's plate down on the table when the plate slipped out of her hands. Her customer's food spilled all over her dress. Lucy was so embarrassed! She was upset when she saw how this mishap had ruined her customer's dress as well as her dinner. Lucy apologized over and over again and told her customer how bad she felt about this. Lucy's customer was very kind and understanding. She was not angry at Lucy. This helped Lucy feel a little better, but she still wished she had not dropped that plate!
Bill went to the grocery store to buy some things he needed. He browsed at some of the things on the shelves as he walked up each aisle. At one point he noticed two women standing behind him who were laughing. He looked around but could not see anything that might make someone laugh. When Bill got home he noticed that there was a large hole in his pants. "So that is what those women were laughing at," he thought. "They were looking at my torn pants and laughing at me!" Bill was very embarrassed when he thought of those women in the grocery store. He was even more embarrassed to think that he had walked around town with a big hole in his pants all afternoon! He wondered how many other people had noticed the hole in his pants and had also laughed at him.
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Both of these pictures show s o m e o n e w h o is in a n embarrassing situation.

Irene was just starting to learn about growing plants. She wanted to learn how to raise many different kinds of plants. Irene joined the Garden Clul so she could meet other people who were also interested in growing plants. Irene joined the Garden Club just i time to enter a plant-growing contest. She brought one of her plants to the contest to be judged. She stood in line holding her plant with three other peop in the contest and was most embarrassed! The other contestants' plants were big and healthy. Some ha beautiful flowers blooming. Irene's plant was not very big at al She was very self-conscious as she stood in line with the other contestants She knew that her plant was no match for the other plants in this contest. Th< other contestants looked at Irene and her plant showing their disapproval. Irene wished that she had never entered the contest!
GARDEN CLUB
Mark was asked to give an important speech at his company's big annual meeting. He worked hard writing his speech and practiced it at home before the meeting. The morning of the big meeting Mark was very nervous. As he left the house his wife gave him a kiss on the cheek and told him she thought he would do just fine. Mark got up to give his speech at the meeting. Everyone listened and applauded when he finished, but a few people laughed as he stepped down. Mark was puzzled over the laughter. After the meeting one of Mark's friends told him that he had a big lipstick mark on his cheek! He told Mark that people noticed this and mentioned it while he was talking. Mark was most embarrassed.
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C i r c u i t Publicatii
Lucy thinks about experiencing a waiter's worst nightmare-spilling a customer's dinner into her lap! She is terribly embarrassed. She is afraid she will feel nervous when this customer comes into the restaurant again.
Mark is embarrassed about the lipstick that was on his face during his speech this morning. He thinks his friends at work will probably tease him all afternoon.
Irene thinks about the contest at the Garden Club. She is embarrassed when she thinks about her weak little plant and remembers how big and healthy the other contestants' plants were.
Bill just cannot get over the embarrassing experience that he had today. He thinks about people laughing at the big hole in his pants. He is flustered because he did not know why they were laughing.
1. Why did Irene feel embarrassed at the Garden Club contest? What could she have done differently so she would not have been embarrassed this way? 2. How do you think Mark feels when he thinks about giving an important speech with a lipstick mark on his face? What might he say when people tease him about it?
3. Why do you think Lucy feels so embarrassed about the mishap at the restaurant? What do you think she wishes when she thinks about this? Why do you think Lucy's customer's reaction to the accident makes her feel better? 4. Why do you think people laughed at Bill? What probably made him feel even worse than knowing that people laughed at him at the store?
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Both of these pictures show s o m e o n e w h o is in a frightening situation. Both of these p e o p l e are fearful.
Bruce is a freshman in high school. He gets home from school before his younger brother gets home from elementary school, and before his parents get home from work. One day Bruce was walking home from school. He saw something horriblehis next door neighbor's! house was on fire! Bruce was sure that no one was I home next door. He hurried to get home to call the fire department. He was told that fire fighters were already on their way. Bruce was terrified! What if someone had been inside his neighbor's house! When he looked out the | window he knew his own family's house was in danger as well. The flames from the fire next door were coming closer. Bruce knew how quickly fire could spread from one building to another. He thought of how difficult it must be to control a fire. Bruce was afraid. He ran out to the street hoping to see the fire trucks coming up the street.
Laurie is Jimmy's favorite babysitter. She often comes to take care of Jimmy when his mom and dad go out. One hot summer day Laurie was taking care of Jimmy. Dark clouds filled the sky. Strong winds blew and rain pounded against the house. Thunder roared and bright lightening slashed through the dark sky. Laurie closed the windows and tried to act brave so Jimmy would feel safe. She started to read a story to Jimmy, but just then the lights went out. The sky was dark outside, and it was dark inside too. It became harder and harder to act brave feeling the wind, listening to the thunder and seeing the lightening. Laurie was afraid that the lightening might strike the house, maybe even starting a fire. She also feared the harm that the wind might do. She was concerned that Jimmy might start to panic inside the dark house.
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oth of these pictures show s o m e o n e w h o is in a frightening situation,
oth of these p e o p l e are fearful.
Teddy likes to go to his grandparents' oiise. There is a big yard where he can play, eddy likes to go out to the backyard and play, t's usually quiet and peaceful at his grandma ind grandpa's house. One day when Teddy was playing in his grandparents' back yard a big dog looked over he fence and barked. Teddy thought this was he biggest dog he had ever seen and the oudest bark he had ever heard! Teddy was scared. He did not know why the dog was barking, but he sure hoped that dog was not able to get over that fence! He looked back at the dog as he ran into the house.
Hank lives in an apartment in the city. He takes care of things in the apartment and fixes things that break if he can, but he does not like to climb up to high places. He thinks it's dangerous. When he looks down he's afraid he might lose his balance and fall. One day the bulb burned out in the light high up near the wall. Hank got a new light bulb and got a ladder from the basement. He climbed the ladder almost to the top. Then he looked down at the room below. It seemed as though he was very high up, and there was nothing to hold on to. He was afraid that he might get dizzy so high up. He was frightened thinking that he might lose his balance and fall from the ladder.
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Bruce was frightened. He was afraid that the fire from the house next door would spread to his house. He thought about how quickly fire can destroy a house.
Laurie was afraid of what damage could be done by the storm. She was afraid that Jimmy might get upset and panic in the dark house.
1. Why was Bruce so frightened when he saw the fire next door? What was he thinking about as he looked for the fire trucks? 2. 3. 4. What was Laurie afraid of? What were some things that could have happened during the storm? What scared Teddy at his grandparents' house? What did he think might happen to him in the backyard? Why did Hank feel afraid while he was high up on the ladder? What did he think might hao.o.erA to Uvea?
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3oth of these pictures show s o m e o n e w h o is in a disgusting situation.
Jack lives in an apartment near the company where he works. He keeps his apartment nice and clean. The job he likes least is taking out the trash. The area behind his apartment where the trash cans are kept is not very pleasant. Jack's landlord arranged for the trash to be picked up once each week. The cans get much too full. They get so full that the lids no longer fit on the cans, and some of the trash falls onto the ground. One hot summer evening Jack took his trash out to the trash area. When he lifted the lid off of a trash can that was already too full and the smell was terrible. The smell from the trash was so strong it filled the whole area behind the apartment. The trash had not been picked up for several days, as usual. The weather had been very hot all week. That is probably why the odor from the trash cans was especially bad that evening. Jack thought that this was disgusting, and it made him angry.
Jamie lives in a small apartment in the city. Her parents and teenage brother, Josh live in the suburbs. Sometimes Josh comes into the city to go out with his friends and stays overnight at Jamie's apartment. One day Josh and his friends came to Jamie's apartment and had dinner before they went to a concert in the city. They prepared their dinner and ate it at Jamie's apartment. However, they were in a hurry and did not clean up afterwards. When Jamie came home that evening she saw the mess that her brother and his friends had disgusting. How could Josh and his friends be so thoughtless and leave such a mess! She was angry. She decided that she would have to set down some firm rules about cleaning up the next time >iosV\ came \o Y\e\ a!pa\Vrt\eT\\>w'\Vr\ V\\s
The Language of Perspective Taking - Part
75
Both of these pictures show s o m e o n e w h o is in a disgusting situation.
Pam lives in a small house with her husband and their little girl. Pam pays the bills every month and plans the budget so that there is enough money for the family to buy the things they need. Last month Pam was shocked when she saw that their bill for electricity was $300! She thought this was disgusting. She knew electric rates were increasing, but this amount was totally unreasonable. The power company seems to be charging twice as much for electricity as they did a year ago! Pam thought about the disgusting $300 electric bill. She talked to her husband, and they decided to write a letter to their state representative and ask her to work to make a law against such unreasonable charges.
Nancy drives to work every day. Last summer she bought a new car. She is proud of her car, and takes good care of it. She makes sure her car gets the service it needs, and she keeps it nice and clean. All summer Nancy's car looks clean and shiny. In the winter, however, the car often looks terrible because it is covered with mud, salt and dirt from the roads Nancy tries to get her car washed often, but sometimes it's too cold. The water from the car wash could freeze and harm the car. Sometimes Nancy does get her car washed on warmer days, but it gets dirty again as soon as more snow falls. Nancy thinks this is disgusting. She is upset that her beautiful new car looks so ugly because of winter weather.
76
1. What made Jack feel so disgusted when he took his trash out? Why did the trash area become so disgusting? What could be done about this? 2. Why is Jamie so disgusted about the mess in her apartment? What should Josh and his friends have done? What will Jamie probably do before Josh comes to her apartment again? 3. Why is Pam disgusted with her family's electric bill? What did Pam decide to do about this? 4. Why is Nancy disgusted about how her car looks? Why does her car look different at different times of the year?
77
Both of these pictures show s o m e o n e w h o is e x p e r i e n c i n g s o m e t h i n g t h a t causes t h e m to feel sad.
Eleven year old David and his family had a cat named Beanie. Beanie had been the family's pet for many years. She used to run and play when she was younger. Lately she rested most of the time. She loved to be held and petted. Everyone in the family loved Beanie. One day Beanie got very sick. Dad took her to the vet, and the vet tried to help her get well. But Beanie was just too sick. She never came home again. David is very sad when he thinks of losing Beanie. He becomes depressed when he looks at pictures of her. He knows he will never see her again. Everyone in David's family is sad when they remember their dear little pet.
Sadie's grandmother gave Sadie a very special present on her ninth birthday. It was a beautiful pearl necklace. Sadie loved her beautiful necklace. Many of her friends noticed it and told her how pretty her necklace looked. Sadie wore her beautiful pearl necklace every chance she had. One day when Sadie took her necklace off the string broke and pearls rolled all over the floor! Sadie gathered the pearls up from the floor and took them to her dad. She hoped Dad could fix her beautiful necklace and he said he would try. Sadie was very sad. She wondered if she would ever wear her beautiful pearl necklace again.
78
Both of these pictures show s o m e o n e w h o is e x p e r i e n c i n g something that causes t h e m to feel sad.
Jason's family had lived in their house ever since he was born. His best friend, Corey is nine years old and had lived next door ever s\r\ce he was born. The boys grew up together. They are very good friends. Last month Corey's family got some good news. This turned out to be bad news for Jason, however. Corey's dad was offered a good job in another city. This meant that Corey's family had to move to that city which is far away. The day that Corey's family moved Jason and Corey watched the movers load all of the furniture into the moving van. Jason gave Corey a special card and they said good-bye. Jason hopes that he and Corey will visit each other and will always be friends. It will not be the same not having Corey living right next door. Jason is very unhappy This is a sad day for him.
Howard is a high school teacher. He had been driving the same car for ten years. It was Howard's first car and it was new when he bought it. Howard had taken good care of his car since he bought it. Lately Howard had noticed that his car was not running right. He took it to a mechanic who gave him some bad news. Howard's car had some serious problems. It was no longer safe to drive. The repairs that were necessary would be very expensive. The mechanic told Howard that he would be better off buying another car. This news made Howard feel very sad. He had many happy memories of driving his car, and it was sad to think that he would have to trade it in for a different car.
79
David is feeling very sad. He remembers his cat and thinks about Beanie. What a wonderful pet she was. He misses her very much.
Howard is sad when he thinks about his car. He knows he cannot rely on this old car any longer. He must get a new car. He thinks about many nice rides in his old car.
1. Why does David feel so sad? What does he think about as he remembers Beanie? 2. 3. 4. How did Sadie feel about her pearls when she got them from her grandmother? What happened that caused Sadie to feel sad? What could happen to make her feel better? How did Jason feel the day that Corey moved away? What could make Jason feel a little better? What is it about Howard's car that makes him feel so sad? What could his mechanic have said that would have made Howard feel different?
Circuit Publicatior
80
Both of these pictures show s o m e o n e w h o is feeling guilty.

Lacey is in the sixth grade. She likes to get good grades in school. In order to get a good grade Lacey studies for a long time before she takes a test. She works hard to learn. Lacey's teachers admire her hard work and are pleased to see her do well. Lacey did not spend enough time studying for her social studies test last week. When she started taking the test she knew she did not know some of the answers. From her seat she could easily see Nathan's test paper. Nathan always got good grades on tests. Lacey decided to copy some of the answers from Nathan's test paper. She knew this was not right, but she really wanted to get a good grade on her test. Lacey got her social studies test back with an A+ on her paper! Her teacher said that she was delighted to see how well Lacey had done. She said Lacey must have studied extra hard for this test. Lacey should have been pleased too, but instead an unpleasant feeling came over her. She felt guilty for getting such a good grade on her test when she knew she had copied some of her answers from Nathan's test paper.
Bev is a busy happy person. Something that makes her unhappy, however, is being overweight. Bev's best friend, Dianna, recently encouraged her to go to meetings at the Slim Down Club in their neighborhood. Bev thought this was a good idea. She knew this would help her to follow a diet and be encouraged by her friends at the Slim Down Club's weekly meetings. At the last meeting Bev weighed in and had gained a pound! Her friends tried to be encouraging. They told Bev that they thought that she had probably tried her best to lose weight. She just had some bad luck. Everyone at the club was sure that Bev would lose weight before the next meeting. Bev felt guilty listening to all the encouragement from her friends at the Slim Down Club. She knew why she did not lose any weight this week. She was ashamed to tell everyone that she did not stay on the low calorie diet. Instead she ate ice cream sundaes and candy for snacks. No wonder she had gained weight last week!
81
Both of these pictures show s o m e o n e w h o is feeling guilty.
Adam gets a nice lunch at school each day. Adam's parents always tell him to eat all of his lunch at school. They remind him that he needs this food so he will grow and be strong and healthy. They also tell him that some children around the world do not have enough to eat~they feel hungry and cannot grow up to be strong and healthy. He knows he should appreciate food and not waste it. Some days at lunchtime Adam wants to hurry onto the playground with his friends. He does not want to take the time to eat all of his lunch. He hurries through his lunch eating only the things he likes best. He throws the rest of his lunch in the trash. Adam feels guilty about throwing some of his lunch away. He knows he can only blame himself if he does not grow up strong and healthy because he threw away food that his body needed to grow. He also feels guilty thinking of poor children who do not have enough food to eat so they can grow up strong and healthy.
Brad loves to play baseball. He plays on a baseball team and goes to practice twice each week. Sometimes just for fun he practices hitting the ball in his backyard, just tossing the ball up and hitting it. His mom and dad tell him not to do this because they are afraid the ball might hit the house and do some damage. One day Brad was practicing hitting the ball in his backyard. He hit the ball so hard that It went all the way to the house, and right through a window! Brad felt terribly guilty when that happened. He remembered what his mom and dad had told him about not hitting his baseball in the yard. They were right. This time he broke a window, and he knew he was in trouble.
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rhink a b o u t h o w e a c h of these p e o p l e feels. Answer t h e questions.
Lacey feels guilty because of getting an A+ on a test when she knows that she copied some of the answers from someone else's paper. She feels even more guilty because of the praise that she got from her teacher for getting such a good grade.
Bev feels guilty. She was very uncomfortable as her friends told her that it wasn't her fault that she did not lose weight last week. She knows that it was her fault she ate foods that were not on her diet.
Adam feels guilty when he remembers that he put some of his lunch into the trash instead of eating everything his mom packed for him. He knows he is lucky to have enough to eat. He should appreciate this.
Brad feels guilty. He did just what his mom and dad told him not to do. He was practicing hitting his baseball in his backyard, and he broke a window.
1. Why did Lacey feel guilty when she should have been pleased for getting an A+ on her test? What made her feel even worse? Why? 2. What made Bev feel guilty about not losing weight this week? Why did Bev's friends think that Bev did not lose any weight this week? Were her friends right? 3. What makes Adam feel guilty about putting some of his lunch in the trash? What is he probably thinking about?
4. Why does Brad feel guilty? Was he surprised when his baseball broke the window, or did he know that this might happen? How do you know?
83
Both of these pictures show s o m e o n e w h o loves s o m e o n e very m u c h .
Millie loves her grandchildren. She thinks about them all the time. She has their pictures in special places in her house-places where she can look at them often. She loves to get pictures of her grandchildren, and loves to hear their voices when they talk on the phone. Best of all she loves to see them. Millie's grandchildren live in a city far away. They visit her and she visits them as often as they can, but she misses them very much when they are not together. Millie's grandchildren have just spent a week at Millie's house. They went back home this morning. While they were visiting Millie they made cards and pictures for her. She put these special things up in her kitchen so she could be reminded of the happy time she and her grandchildren had together. Millie feels very fortunate to have such wonderful grandchildren to love.
Tina has a new boyfriend named Ian. Every night Tina hopes Ian will call her. She thinks she is falling in love with him. He is very friendly and easy to talk to. Tina enjoys being with Ian. He has a great sense of humor. Tina has a lot of fun with Ian. She thinks about him all the time and she hopes that Ian is thinking of her too. Saturday night before they went to a party Ian brought Tina a beautiful bouquet of flowers. Tina was so happy! She hopes this means that Ian is falling in love with her.
84
3oth of these pictures show s o m e o n e w h o loves s o m e o n e very m u c h .
Kenny just turned ten years old. He got lots of presents for his birthday. His best present was a new puppy! He named his puppy, Carmel because her fur is carmel colored. Carmel loves her new home with Kenny and his family. When she sees Kenny she wags her tail and runs to him. She licks his hands to show him how she loves him. She likes to get up on his lap so he will hug her and pet her. Soon Carmel will be too big to be on Kenny's lap, but she will always want to be with him. Kenny is learning to take good care of Carmel. He plays with her and pets her as often as he can. He will take her for walks when she is ready to walk on a leash. He is always happy when he is with Carmel. Kenny loves Carmel. He knows she will grow up to be a good friend for many years. Kenny will always love Carmel and take good care of her.
Mr. and Mrs. Garcia love their little daughter, Rosa. They wanted to give Rosa something very special for her birthday. They did not have very much money for gifts, but they had some good ideas. They knew what Rosa would like even better than a special toy from the store. The Garcias decided that they would make a very special present for Rosa for her birthday. Mrs. Garcia got some material and made a beautiful little doll for Rosa. Mr. Garcia made the perfect little bed for Rosa's new doll. Rosa opened her presents and was very happily surprised. She loves her doll and doll bed and plays with them every day. Mr. and Mrs. Garcia are very happy that they did something for their dear little Rosa.
85
Millie often thinks about her grandchildren and how much she loves them. She looks forward to the next time they will be together.
Tina thinks she is falling in love with Ian. She thinks that he is the nicest guy she has ever known. She hopes he is falling in love with her too.
Kenny loves his new little puppy, Carmel. She is already a very special friend, and he know that he and Carmel will be very good friends for a long time.
Mr. and Mrs. Garcia love little Rosa very much. They were so happy to see Rosa's big smile when she saw the presents that they made for her.
1. What does Millie do to let you know that she loves her grandchildren? What do they do to show how they feel about her? 2. 3. 4. How do you think Tina feels about Ian? What makes you thinks this? How do you think Ian feels about Tina? Why? How does Kenny feel about his puppy, Carmel? What does Kenny do to show how he loves Carmel? What does Carmel do to show that she loves Kenny? What makes you know that Mr. and Mrs. Garcia love little Rosa so much? How did they show their love for her on her birthday?
86
HAPPY
content joyful comfort experiencing pleasure enjoying pleasant atmosphere feeling positive pleased glad enjoying good fortune
JEALOUS (ENVY)
resenting someone's goods or success wishing for someone's goods or success hostile toward someone because of his goods or success annoyed at someone having goods or success feeling that he deserves someone else's success desiring someone's goods or success
ANGRY
hostile toward something unpleasant feeling much opposed to something wishing to lash out intense negative response strong negative emotional state outraged
EMBARRASSED
suddenly losing self-confidence suddenly losing self-esteem off balance feeling inferior not sure of oneself rattled flustered perplexed abashed mortified shamed
PRIDE
high self esteem self respect arrogance joy over one's achievement respectful of something or someone admiring someone or something highly regarding someone high esteem toward someone
87
FEARFUL
afraid scared anticipating danger apprehensive dreading something alarmed suddenly shocked by something frightening suddenly aware of danger overpowered helpless starting to panic
GUILTY
feeling that one deserves blame responsible for something wrong ashamed culpable feeling at fault for something
DISGUSTED
distressed by something repulsive sickened by something rotten or dirty offended by something bad disturbed by something revolting "fed up" with something distressing
LOVE
affection feeling warmth toward someone or something benevolent concern for someone cherishing someone or something adoration endearment feeling fond of someone jfc devotion
SAD
unhappy depressed sorrowful grieving regretting something feeling a loss dejected without cheer or joy downhearted glum despondent unable to be consoled
88
'ages 89 to 95 instruct students to tell how they would probably feel under certain conditions. Suggested inswers are provided, but students should be encouraged to answer expressing their own feelings as best they ;an, and explain their answers.
"ell h o w you w o u l d p r o b a b l y feel if any of these things h a p p e n e d to you a n d w h y you A /ould feel this way. The pictures a n d words t h a t n a m e feelings at t h e b o t t o m of the p a g e : a n help you. 1. A careless person caused an accident that damaged your property.
2.
You just learned that you won a million dollars in the sweepstakes.
3.
Your best friend told you that her family was moving away.
4. 5.
You were trying to find a building in the city on a small street that was not on the map. You are riding you bike on a 50 mile trail and feeling tired, but you know you will complete the trip no matter what because you have always wanted to do this.
6.
You had worked hard to do a good job. Your boss recognized your good work and gave you a big raise.
7.
You are returning to your town after being given an award at the State Capitol, and you do not feel that you deserve such a grand celebration.
8.
You had planned to drive to a party at your friend's house and your car would not start so you could not go to the party.
9.
You were a lawyer giving a very important closing argument in your case, and you just realized that you had a big stain on the front of your jacket.
humble
happy
angry
embarrassed
determined
sad
frustrated
confused
satisfied
89
Tell how you w o u l d p r o b a b l y feel if any of these things h a p p e n e d to you a n d w h y you w o u l d feel this way. The pictures a n d words t h a t n a m e feelings at t h e b o t t o m of the p a g e c a n help you. 1. You saw a wonderful watch that you wanted very much and your birthday was next week.
2.
You thought you had lost your keys, but you found them in your jacket pocket.
3.
You are trying to do your homework, and you are not sure how to solve some of the problems even though you thought you understood the assignment earlier today.
4.
You thought you could solve almost any problem, and your teacher asked you come to the front of the class to solve a tricky problem.
5.
You saw a note on your closet door which said, "Do not open this door under any conditions."
6.
You had an important part in the big Spring Play, and you forgot your lines-you just stood there, but you knew the other actors were shocked and perplexed at that moment.
7.
Your younger sister wore your favorite T-shirt, and she spilled paint on it.
8.
You found some rotten, spoiled food in the back of the cupboard in your kitchen.
9.
You rushed to the bookstore to get a copy of a new popular book, but the last copy was sold minutes before you got there.
disappointed
angry
embarrassed
relieved
confident
confused
hopeful
disgusted
curious
90
Tell h o w you w o u l d p r o b a b l y feel if any of these things h a p p e n e d to you a n d w h y you would feel this way. The pictures a n d words t h a t n a m e feelings at t h e b o t t o m of t h e p a g e c a n help you. 1. Your boss asked you to be in charge of a big project at work, and you are trying as hard as you can to get it done before the deadline, but you doubt that it is possible.
2.
Your neighbors house was damaged in a fire. You are very sorry and plan to help in any way that you can.
3.
A very popular classmate was having a party and he invited everyone in class except you.
4.
You are lying on the beach listening to the waves wash up on the shore without a care in the world.
5.
You know that you did something that was not right, and you should be blamed for this.
6.
You tried out for the talent show at school, and you think your act was very good. You think the judges liked it, and you are eager to get to school tomorrow to see if you were selected.
7.
You're driving down the street, and you see flashing lights from a police car in your rear view mirror. You are afraid the officer might pull you over.
8.
Your younger brother just told everyone at the family holiday gathering that you failed English last semester.
9.
You just passed your final test and are now qualified to become a police officer.
anxious
proud
hurt
relaxed
hopeful
compassionate
humiliated
stressed
guilty
91
Tell h o w you w o u l d p r o b a b l y feel if any of these things h a p p e n e d to you a n d w h y you w o u l d feel this way. The pictures a n d words t h a t n a m e feelings at t h e b o t t o m of t h e p a g e c a n help you. 1. You got home from vacation and saw that your next door neighbors had planted a huge tree in their front yard.
2.
Your aunt and uncle sent presents to your brother and sister for their birthdays, but you received nothing from them on your birthday.
3.
Your opponent in your class election was elected class president and is getting high praise, but you thought that you deserved to be president rather than this opponent.
4.
You are anxious to ski down this challenging mountain slope, and you think you can do this smoothly because you know you are a good skier.
5.
You are sitting in a theatre trying to enjoy the movie, but the people in front of you keep talking and disturbing you.
6.
You thought that the passenger in your car was chilly so you turned up the heat even though you were comfortable.
7.
You have just moved to a new city and have not made friends at your new school. You think about the friends from your old school as you walk home by yourself.
8.
You are home alone and you hear a strange, scary noise.
9.
Your friend helped you deliver the newspapers on your paper route so that you had time to study for a big test.
grateful
surprised
hurt
thoughtful
lonely
annoyed
fearful
confident
jealous
92
Tell h o w you w o u l d p r o b a b l y feel if any of these things h a p p e n e d to y o u a n d w h y you w o u l d feel this way. The pictures a n d words t h a t n a m e feelings at t h e b o t t o m of the p a g e c a n help you.
1.
You are enjoying a delicious holiday dinner with your family and you realize how lucky you are to have such a fine family.
2.
You think your science teacher has given too tough an assignment to finish in time, yet your grade in this class depends on getting this done.
3.
Your neighbor's child accidentally damaged a plant in your yard when he fell off his bicycle, and you knew you would forgive him.
4.
You wonder if that new girl (or guy) is dating anyone.
5.
You just dropped your favorite vase and it shattered into many pieces.
6.
You opened your locker after Spring Break and smelled something repulsive-probably things from a lunch that you left there before Spring Break.
7.
You found a dent in your new car when you returned to your car in the shopping mall parking lot.
8.
You were named captain of the basketball team, and you thought that one of the other players deserved this honor more than you.
9.
You were expecting to pitch in the championship baseball tournament, but the coach chose someone else, and you do not think he is as good a pitcher as you.
happy
sad
humble
stressed
resentful
merciful
curious
angry
disgusted
The Language of Perspective Taking - Part
93
Tell h o w you w o u l d p r o b a b l y feel if any of these things h a p p e n e d to y o u a n d w h y you w o u l d feel this way. The pictures a n d words t h a t n a m e feelings at t h e b o t t o m of t h e p a g e c a n help you. 1. You are home on a weekend night and no one has called you to go out, and you cannot think of anything interesting to do.
2.
You just got a letter from your favorite cousin saying that he is coming to visit you.
3.
The candidate whom you did not vote for won the election.
4.
You just met the girl or boy of your dreams and you hope you will see this person again and again.
5.
You got to work and found that someone who has been using your computer lost some of your important files.
6.
Your mom told you that she bought a new dishwasher as she had planned to, and you will not have to do the dishes after dinner ever again.
7.
You returned home and found that your home had been burglarized-almost everything you owned was gone!
8.
You need to drive to a meeting in a city some distance away, and you are concerned that your old car might break down on the way.
9.
You were just chosen to represent your country in the next Olympic Games. You feel very honored.
disappointed
happy
shocked
love
proud
bored
surprised
angry
worried
94
h o w you w o u l d p r o b a b l y feel if any of these things h a p p e n e d to you a n d w h y you j l d feel this way. The pictures a n d words t h a t n a m e feelings at t h e b o t t o m of the p a g e i help you. 1. You find a message in secret code in a bottle floating near the shore. You are very interested and you want to investigate.
2.
Your brother insists on watching a movie for the sixth time and you are not interested in this movie, but there is nothing else to do.
3.
You saw a beautiful sweater at the mall, but do not have quite enough money to buy it. You know that this store holds big holiday sales and reduces prices. If this sweater has not been sold, and if the price comes down, you can buy it during the sale.
4.
You feel a little scared because you must soon explain your Science Fair project to the judges. You are worried that you might not be able to answer questions the judges might ask.
5.
You have been working out and preparing to run in a marathon and you feel as though you now have the strength and endurance to complete the marathon tomorrow.
6.
A student who always gets the top grade in tests once again got the highest scores. This time it was in the math midterm exam. You worked very hard to get the top score, and thought you deserved this.
7.
Your younger cousin ruined some of the files on your computer when he caused the computer to crash. You know how bad he feels and how hard he tried not to make such a mistake. You will probably forgive him.
8.
You walked in the front door expecting to spend a quiet evening relaxing at home, instead all you friends were standing in the hall and they started to sing, "Happy Birthday!
resentful
hopeful
insecure
merciful
bored
Circu.il Publications
confident
curious
- Part III
surprised
95
Jennifer and Peter's Wedding
This is Jennifer and Peter's wedding day. They have just taken their wedding vows and are about to walk down the aisle as a married couple. Family and friends of Jennifer and Peter have gathered here to witness the marriage of these two young people.
Different people share this event, yet not everyone is experiencing the s a m e feelings.
nai are they thinking? How does each one feel about this wedding?
J st can't believe that I've lost my little girl. She's all grown up and married already. I regret having so little time to do things for her when she was home with me. Where aid the years go? f I'm the luckiest > man in the world! It's really a pleasure to know that I'll share my life with my beautiful bride.
u
f I'm so pleased > that this ceremony has gone so well. All the planning and rehearsing that went on was surely worthwhile.
I can't wait until I ^ meet the man of my dreams some day! I just know he'll be handsome and kind just like Peter and I'll be a happy ^ ^ ^ x i d e just like Jennifer.
' * a t Jennifer-all *N I grown up! She turned out to be such a gracious, kind and beautiful young woman. I guess her mother and I did what was f r i g h t as we raised her.
J u s t
f This is the > most joyful day of my life! I'm so happy to know that Peter and I will be together for the , rest of our lives!
f This wedding is taking forever. I can't wait till it's over and we can go and eat. don't see any other kids here either. 'Guess it's going . to be a long, slow day. This is a beautiful wedding. > m not sure about this new camera, probably should have tried it out on something less important. I'm afraid these wedding pictures will look like some kind of experiment! .
Who is feeling sad? This person is thinking about how quickly Jennifer grew up, and wishes there'd been more time to do more for Jennifer.
v
Who is satisfied? So far everything has gone well. This person is glad that effort was made to make this event a success Who is feeling very proud? This person admires Jennifer and feels that he played an important part in helping her grow up as nicely as she did. Who is bored? This person is not at all interested in this wedding. He would probably be more involved if there w s someone else his age to hang out with for the rest of the day.
a
Two people are feeling very happy? Thoughts of spending the rest of their lives together pleases them very much. Who are they? Who is sad and full of regret? This person probably would like to have another chance to build a relationship with P ter rather than watching him marry someone else.
e
There she goes! The most beautiful girl I ever dated, and she fell for this other guy. I'll bet I could have made her happier than Peter can. It should be Jennifer and I walking down the aisle together!
Who is worried? This person i using something for the first time, and is afraid that pictures from this ceremony might not turn out well.
s
f I'm so depressed! I really cared for Peter. I guess he just didn't feel the same about me. I'll try to be happy for him today, but I'm feeling pretty downhearted thinking that I've , lost him forever! .
Who is jealous? He wishes Jennifer was marrying him and not Peter. Who is hopeful? She thinks about the day in the future when she marries a wonderful man just like Jennifer j doing today.
S
Elwoods Promotion Celebration
Elwood has just been promoted to a much better job at work. Here we see Elwood with his family and friends at restaurant where a dinner is being held to celebrate his promotion.
Different people are here at this event, yet not everyone is experiencing the s a m e feelings.
What are they thinking? How does each one feel about this celebration?
'm delighted to see Elwood's ^ family and friends enjoying their special evening here at my restaurant. Elwood is such a great guy! I'm pleased that he chose this place to have this dinner. m pleased for Elwood. I > know how hard he worked to earn the respect of everyone at work. I'm content to know that his boss recognized his good work. He deserves this promotion. Seeing those folks having > so much fun sure makes me feel glum. I hardly know anyone in this town. I miss my old buddies, d love to be invited to a nice dinner party like that!
f I'm glad that > my work was good enough to earn this promotion. I'm happy to be able to share this achievement with my . family and friends.
Boy these folks look X pretty happy. I'm going to give them some good service so they'll remember me and treat me right when it's time to leave ^ the tip!
Who is bored? He is not motivated to get very involved in this celebration. Who is satisfied? She's glad that Elwood got the promotion that he deserves. Who is pretty happy? He's thinking about the big tip he'll probably get from this large group if he does a good job serving their dinner. Who else is happy? He's pleased that this nice group of people chose his restaurant to have their special celebration dinner. Who is very proud at this moment? He feels good about himself for his achievement, and he's happy that his family and friends are here to celebrate with him. Who is feeling embarrassed? She's very self-conscious about the way her son is acting. She's perplexed over this because she can't seem to control his behavior. Who is curious? He's interested in something on the menu that he's never tasted. He wishes he knew more about this item because he's thinking about ordering this for his dinner. Who is sad? He is not part of the celebration. In fact, that's what makes him sad. Seeing friends and family having fun together makes him miss his family and friends who live in another town. Who is worried? She's afraid her stomach might get upset because she will be eating a big meal quite late in the evening.
I'm so flustered! I'm > ' ashamed of the way Kenny is behaving. He is being obnoxious! wish I could have gotten a sitter and left Kenny at home. >
f I really can't get into this celebration. 'Seems as though Elwood is always getting attention for something. I just want to eat ^ and go home.
wonder what chicken paprikash is. I've heard of it but I don't know what it tastes like. I'm not sure if I should order it. I might not like it. 'Should probably order something more familiar.
The Midterm Exam
The sixth grade students at Centerviile Middle School are taking their midterm exam. Different students are sharing this event, yet not everyone feels the same about this test
What are they thinking? How does each one feel about this midterm exam?
f What a relief! I'm glad I studied about this country. It's a small country, but I know a lot about it. I'm glad I spent all that time studying about this.
N
All right! This is just what I > studied. I really know this stuff, and 1 know I can do okay on this test. Ve just gotta make sure I don't run out of time. > f These students should do > well in this test. We went over the material often enough, and everyone seemed to be following L along okay.
f \ really like this class. I like the way Mrs. Kelly teaches us and I'm glad I know this material so well. I feel good about this test.
v
r_
Who feels happy? She is glad she's well prepared for this test. She likes this teacher. Who is feeling insecure? He didn't study exactly the right material for this test, and he's not sure he knows some of these answers. Who is feeling resentful? He doesn't think it's right that exams are so difficult for him. He knows someone else will do much better than he will. Who is confident? She feels that the students know this material quite well, and they'll do well on this test. Who is confused? He's not sure what leaders go with different titles. He's quite uncomfortable about this test. Who is determined to do well on this test? He knows he's prepared, and feels that if he organizes his time well he'll see some good results. Who is relieved? She wasn't sure what to study the most, and now she knows that she made the right choices as to how to spend her study time.
I'm pretty mixed up. I don't ^ know if this guy was the president or I someone in the army These names J sound so'much alike. Pretty puzzling.
f Just look at Dorie. She's just too smart. Watch her get 100% on this exam. I'm really annoyed at how easy exams are for some kids and how hard v. they are for me.
The Muscle Contest
Who will be the new Muscle King? The Annual Muscle Contest is once again underway. The contestants are on the stage, as the master of ceremonies announces the winner. Each of the contestants hoped to be crowned the "Muscle King" and many people came to watch the contest. Although all of these people are experiencing this same event, not everyone is feeling the same.
What are they thinking? How does each one feel about this contest?
r That guy ain't so tough. My muscles are much bigger and stronger than his. He shouldn't be the Muscle King, I should.
Gee, I feel pretty discouraged, really hoped to become the Muscle this year. I don't think I'll bother tryi again. I'll probably just fail again.
Oh Bruno, you hunk! I just adore this guy. I can't wait to give him a big hug and tell him how I feel about him, and how proud I am tonight.
Who is in love? She feels real affection for one of the contestants. Who is feeling pretty happy? He's having fun and is pleased with all the attention he's getting here. Who is sad? Her friend's hopes were dashed when he didn't win this contest, and she thinks that he must be very disappointed. Who is feeling jealous? He thinks he deserved to be the Muscle King, not this other guy. Who is grateful? He appreciates the judges' decision in selecting him to be the winner. Who is angry? He's just plain furious at the judges of this contest. Who is disappointed? He worked hard, and thought he had a chance to win this contest. Who is satisfied with the outcome of this contest? Her son worked out and really tried to be strong enough to be crowned the Muscle King-and he was!
f What do those judges know anyway? They don't know nothin! They just picked that guy without even checking the rest of us out. This is really lousy, wanna talk to those guys. I'll tell 'em who's got the real muscles here!
Poor Donald! He looks so disappointed. He worked out faithfully, and really hoped he'd be the new Muscle King. I'm so sorry the judges L didn't see that he's really the best.
The Car Accident
It was just a regular traffic day in town. Suddenly everything changed when someone driving down the street took his eyes off the road for a moment, and crashed into another car. This accident caused some chaos and confusion in town. Everyone experienced this accident is some way, but everyone surely did not have the same feelings!
What are they thinking? How does each one feel about this accident?
5
CD
CD
to
Moving Day
This family is moving to a new house today. These movers are loading their furniture into the moving van. One of the seems to be less experienced than the others. He seems to be having a hard time. Everyone is watching the movers load the furniture into the van, yet not everyone is experiencing the same feelings.
wonder why they need such a ' big truck. I wanna watch this so I can see if they can really fill this truck up!
f I know I'm doing a lousy job here, and I'm sure everyone's watching me. I'm not nearly as good as those guys, and I wonder if I'll ever y. do this job well.
>
f Wow! I remember this rocking horse. I had lots of fun pretending to be a cowboy. I'm sure glad Mom and Dad . saved this old horse!
Who is sad? He's thinking of losing his best neighborhood friend who's moving away. Who is worried? She's afraid this inexperienced mover might cause some damage. Who is compassionate? He feels sorry for this inexperienced moving guy on his first day on the job. Who is happy? He just discovered one of his old favorite toys. Who is curious? She's not sure why such a big truck is needed here. Who is embarrassed? It's his first day on the job, and he knows the other movers are much better than he is at handling furniture. Who is annoyed? He's aggravated because this new moving guy isn't doing his share of the work, and he and the other experienced mover are doing more than their share. Who is alert? He doesn't trust these guys who are taking this furniture away. He's not going to let them get away with anything!
f I feel pretty bad for poor Ralph. This is his first job, and I can tell he's feeling bad that he can't keep up with the others. He doesn't need to worry. He needs a little more experience, and he'll have this job as long as he tries hard.
v
The Big Snowstorm
STORK
One day in early March spring when they heard t h least two feet of snow! Everyone was expectinQ
t h e
pex* d a y ' weather forecast surprised everyone. People were starting to think about the coming of big winter snowstorm was moving toward them, and by tomorrow they would have at
t n a t a e n
sn t n e
, ,,,, o W , but not everyone felt the same about this.
What are they thinking?
How does eacn OIJ
The Baseball Game
The hometown baseball team is playing an important game this afternoon. Randy, the hometown team's best hitter is up to bat with a runner on second base. The score is tied. There are many people, players, coaches and fans here at this game. Not everyone is experiencing the same feelings.
W h a t are they thinking?
H o w d o e s each one feel about this baseball g a m e
I wish this game would ^ go a little faster. It's really hard to get interested in something that goes so slow. It's not like football-something happening all the time.
Sometimes a person m i g h t e x p e r i e n c e a single e v e n t b u t r e s p o n d i n m o r e t h a n o n e way. O n this a n d t h e next p a g e y o u will b e a s k e d t o think a b o u t h o w s o m e o n e c a n feel o n e w a y a b o u t s o m e t h i n g , t h e n feel just t h e o p p o s i t e a b o u t this a t t h e s a m e t i m e ! W e o f t e n express this by stating such e x p e r i e n c e s a n d feelings in this w a y : "On o n e h a n d , I feel (this w a y ) . On t h e other h a n d , I feel ( t h a t way)." This p i c t u r e represents such thinking a n d t h e s t a t e m e n t s b e l o w represent e x p e r i e n c e s t h a t m i g h t m a k e s o m e o n e h a v e m o r e t h a n o n e feeling a t t h e s a m e t i m e . R e a d e a c h s t a t e m e n t on t h e left side of t h e p a g e . Then find a s t a t e m e n t o n t h e right side t h a t best c o m p l e t e s t h e t h o u g h t .
1. On one hand, our team was unhappy that our baseball game was rained out last Saturday.
a. On the other hand, she was happy that she didn't consume all of those calories!
2. On one hand, Dave was disappointed that he couldn't work Friday since he needed the money.
b. On the other hand, he becomes annoyed because Dad makes us help shovel snow when there's no school.
3 On one hand, Danielle was disappointed that the restaurant was out of chocolate pie.
c On the other hand, we were glad we had a chance to get together to see a good movie and have an afternoon pizza party.
4. On one hand, Kim was sorry that she didn't shop for her summer clothes at the beginning of the summer. There would have been a good selection at that time.
d. On the other hand, she was happy to shop for clothes in the middle of summer because most things were on sale at that time and she saved a lot of money.
5. On one hand, we were determined to drive without making any stops so we could arrive at our friends' house sooner.
e. On the other hand, she was happy to find an older model that was comfortable, had many nice features and cost much less than a new car.
6. On one hand, Greg is happy to have a day off from school when there's a big snow storm.
f. On the other hand, since he didn't work he was able to go to Craig's party Friday night. He was happy about that.
7. On one hand, Shelly was disappointed that she couldn't buy a brand new car because a new car would have been to expensive.
g. On the other hand, we felt tired so we stopped along the way to rest so we'd arrive feeling fresh and relaxed.
112
The Language of Perspective Taking - Part V
Read e a c h s t a t e m e n t on t h e left side of t h e p a g e . Then find a s t a t e m e n t on t h e right side that best c o m p l e t e s t h e t h o u g h t .
On one hand, Vince and his friends planned to go fishing on their camping trip. They were disap-pointed that they didn't catch any fish.
On the other hand, we were disappointed that we did not leave enough time to see the polar bears.
On one hand, the fifth graders were sorry that they would not have a holiday gift exchange this year.
b. On the other hand, she feels much better after she takes the medicine, and this makes her happy.
On one hand, we were really curious about the reptiles at the zoo. We stayed in the reptile area all afternoon.
On the other hand, they were pleased with someone's idea to collect the gift money and use it to buy food for a holiday dinner for a needy family in the neighborhood.
On one hand, Bob and Jackie were upset when they found out a new house would be built on the big empty lot next door. That was their favorite play space!
d On the other hand, she was annoyed that she had to pay a fine when she returned the book late.
On one hand, Janie hates to have to take the cough medicine that the doctor prescribed.
On the other, hand, that officer was really good looking, and Meg hopes she'll see him again some time soon.
On one hand, the Bailey's love the new little garden that they planted in their back yard.
f. On the other hand, they were happy to discover a new trail in the woods where they had a great hike.
On one hand, Meg was furious that a police officer pulled her over and gave her a ticket for driving too fast.
g. On the other hand, they were happy when their new neighbors with two children moved into that house. Now they have two new friends.
On one hand, Demi was pleased that she kept the library book long enough to finish it even though it was overdue.
h. On the other hand, they're always a little sad when they think about the big old oak tree that used to stand in that spot before it was struck by lightening.
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Perspective Taking !!

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The Language

CIRCUIT PUBLICATIONS, Inc.

Copyright 2002 by Circuit Publications, Inc. PO Box 1388 Maplewood, NJ 07040 12 11 1 0 9 8 7 T S 6 5 4 3 2

Part II Associating single causal events with specific emotions or feelings

The Language of Perspective Taking

The Language of Perspective Taking

the other hand, which helps express this idea.

Ben Zeev, A. 2000.

The Subtlety of Emotions. The MIT Press. Cambridge, MA

The Language of Perspective Taking - Part I

The Language of Perspective Taking - Part I

The Language of Perspective Taking - Part I

The Language of Perspective Taking - Part I

The Language of Perspective Taking - Part I

The Language of Perspective Taking - Part I

The Language of Perspective Taking - Part I

The Language of Perspective Taking - Part I

The Language of Perspective Taking - Part I

The Language of Perspective Taking - Part I

The Language of Perspective Taking - Part I

Introduction - Parts II, III and IV

The Language of Perspective Taking

The Language of Perspective Taking - Part II

The Language of Perspective Taking - Part II

makes her feel anxious.

The Language of Perspective Taking - Part 11

The Language of Perspective Taking - Part II

Talk a b o u t w h y Bob is feeling surprised. Answer t h e questions below.

The Language of Perspective Taking - Part II

Talk a b o u t w h y M e g a n is feeling hopeful. Answer t h e questions below.

The Language of Perspective Taking - Part II

Talk a b o u t w h y G o r d o n is feeling confident. Answer t h e questions below.

The Language of Perspective Taking - Part II

Talk a b o u t w h y Bill is feeling relaxed. Answer t h e questions below.

The Language of Perspective Taking - Part II

Talk a b o u t why Jakie is feeling relieved. Answer t h e questions below.

The Language of Perspective Taking - Part II

Talk a b o u t why Eric is b e i n g thoughtful. Answer t h e questions below.

The Language of Perspective Taking - Part II

Talk a b o u t why Roy is feeling humble. Answer t h e questions below.

The Language of Perspective Taking - Part II

alk a b o u t w h y Mr. Hopkins is feeling merciful. Answer t h e questions below.

The Language of Perspective Taking - Part II

Talk a b o u t why Johnny is feeling compassionate. Answer t h e questions below.

The Language of Perspective Taking - Part II

Talk a b o u t w h y Judy is feeling curious

Answer t h e questions below.

The Language of Perspective Taking - Part II

Talk a b o u t why Larry is feeling grateful. Answer t h e questions below.

The Language of Perspective Taking - Part II

Talk a b o u t why G r e t c h e n is feeling satisfied. Answer t h e questions below.

The Language of Perspective Taking - Part II

Talk a b o u t why Danny is feeling determined. Answer t h e questions below.

The Language of Perspective Taking - Part II

Talk a b o u t why Bert is feeling frustrated. Answer t h e questions below.

The Language of Perspective Taking - Part II

Talk a b o u t why Terry is feeling humiliated. Answer t h e questions below.

The Language of Perspective Taking - Part II

Talk a b o u t why Pat is feeling anxious. Answer t h e questions below.

The Language of Perspective Taking - Part II

Talk a b o u t why Paul is feeling shy. Answer t h e questions below.

The Language of Perspective Taking - Part II

Talk a b o u t w h y Marvin is feeling hateful. Answer t h e questions below.