Newszak Help deflate that bloated feeling... Help deflate that bloated feeling...

oh-ah (holding belly) Insert banana into bread roll. Hot-dog style. Put it in, stuff it in. Does it work? It fills yr belly. Thats the main thing. They do it in all the time like that in the Balkans Yoked, yoked, yoked together by violence! Now weve started to keep a little spreadsheet at home! All the ins & outs, no fancy biscuits and now were really confident, really really confident, arent we? Arent we? See that smile? Thats confidence for you! I legally give out orders to gouge out eyesYou make the room you put them in very small and very darkYou need to be creative mind. Flexible. You tell them youre introducing a terrible, poisonous one, like a killer earwig! One bite (slits throat) ah! But its only just a harmless creepycrawlyIm a Terrorist get me out of here! HA HAthe laugh-shaped laugh

1982, Hunter S Thompson in the foyer of the Raymond Revue bar at 4 in the morning, out of his head on speed, Chivas Regal...eyes revolving like googlies...Hunter S Thompson in Soho...refusing to hand over a tape unless his Savoy bar bill was paidNOW! (rolling) What would Hunter S Thompson Doctor of Journalism make of the free daily newspaper London Lite? London Lite features a wide range of lifestyle articles but less news and business news. Celebrity gossip is given far more coverage that international news. Lite also reports in detail the incidents of violent crime in the capital. London Lite aspires to being Printed Television (cut-up) These sausagesgod! And the gravy! The liver was reduced. Go home and have it in front of the telly. Theres a whole family of them, they stand this high, they get extra work, I know them. You know the telly The telly is shite! Toomb-toomb toomb-toomb-toombTowers, guns, virility-chaos, erection range, finder ecstasy, toomb-toomb, 3 seconds, toomb-toomb, waves smiles laughter HA-HA the unfunniest laugh ever, splish splash glugluglugglugglugglug 1

Help deflate that bloated feeling... Help deflate that bloated feeling... Once the gas comes on once the gas comes in let the gas out I cd feel the gas coming either in or on round&round the gas wont go the gas is in & wont come out distended belly swollen, pregnant belly the gas is in, the gas is on then I take the tablets I forget to take the tablets and that brings the gas on I forget I forget, toes curl the sweats the sweats come on better out than in nil by mouth water all night too much water brings the gas on and then the gas brings the sweats on and then I stop sweating and thats when it gets really bad the water like a sprinkle in my sphincter cheek by jowl with the gas on where did the gas go? Gas go gastro gastroentro gastronomical! Munching microwaved cauliflower cheese all day! I stopped it I had to stop it the heating freezing too cold, too hot, way too hot! Way way way too hot! tropical geysers & gasses & eruptions, a volcano! Boom! Bang! The gasses are flowing, the juices have dried up, the end is in sight I can feel it here here here and here and deep deep down in here its somewhere hidden in here I cant find it, the gasses are in here somewhere hidden in here (She comes around the corner of .....ramming a banana into a bread roll...Fill belly up, hungry, bloated, help deflate that bloated feeling...Belly distended, belly too full up...) What would Hunter s Thompson make of Sunday drinkers? Sitting there, Sunday papers piled up, a couple of pints, 2 bed early, work tomorrow Look at this! Hahaha the laugh-shaped laugh. What would Hunter S Thompson make of swine flu? Death to the pigfuckers! What would Hunter S Thompson make of Newszak, Newszak! Whack! Whack! (Cut-up) You turn the corner, you walk round the corner, yr just strolling really, everything's calm, yr in control, you don't doubt life's not a bed of roses really, all creamy and peachy, but all things considered it could be worse, anyway yr on the way back 6 pack in plastic bag 6 for 5! Yr set up for the day, you've got work to do, maybe buy an egg roll later bam bam bam-bam-bam-bam-bam! Here we go! Let's go! So you just stroll round the corner and BANG! Yr studio's gone! Gone! Your lovely studio is gone! Disappeared into thin air! One minute you have a fully functioningthe next it's gone! Crack! The furies collide...Rewind the tape...I said rewind the tape...watch...watch...stop it there! See it? Just there! See it! One minute it's there, the next it's gone! Solid Goooorn! 2

Make some overtures...Put the tape in...On the surface you've got a few things going on, but underneath...We are endeavouring to find the tipping point, the archemedian point a hypothetical vantage point from which an observer can objectively find the subject of inquiryThats it! Thats the 1! The ideal of removing oneself from the object of study so that one can see it in relation to all other thingsthe plumbline....the dowsing ....the rods are crossing, the red light beeping! Emergency! It won't stop the search for origins a memorial memory components allow a full reconstruction it's not just the decisive event, the crucial act, the moments leading up to, the roads leading in and out, it's the the things said and felt and what i didn't say, what she didn't say...something happened, what happened...dodgy deals circumlocutions dead ends In search of lost time lost in translation in search of the lost recording send, save, receive, delete, select all, copy, paste, copy, copy, trash...Yr memory box is full please delete messages Let's forget it the channel is stuck, you are stuck at home, awaiting the bang-bang-bang of the bailifffs at the door all of your appliances are fascimiles of appliances...the cooker is not a cooker, the fridge over there is not a fridge...all you have, all you are left with is Sky Sports News where the most important, earthshattering news today is...it calms you, all is well, nothing is as bad as it seems should X sign for Y or Z? It's a tough question and on balance...on balance...I think..I would prefer not too...Just think that we got here along a straight line...a long straight road...no-no-no a river muddy undulates, a wavy line, a bump pregnant a speed trap Rubenesque curvacious a sharp edge a knife an incision men in rolling hills, women living in phallic trees fate - a downward trend an arch gravity's rainbow a screaming against the sky- Oh I dont know.Funny things happen down on the farm! Nazi lampshade flesh. Turkey twizzler. Chick stick. Drumsticks. Drummers! They drum it into you. Billy Bones. The skeletons rattling. feed us! feed us! Insert banana into bread roll.

The Mad Hatter Roger Crab (1621-1680) (He moved to Bethnal Green in 1657, with a diet of bran, herbs, dock-leaves, mallows and grass. Imprisoned 4 times for being a wizard and espousing the evils of property. The inspiration for the Mad Hatter Twinkle, Twinkle little bat, How I wonder what youre at! Up above the world you fly, Like a tea-tray in the sky! 3

Such are our lusts and covetousness The Belly and Back to Please With selling and buying, dissembling and lying Yet we cannot live in ease But still in Discontent abide Desiring after more If Pride should banishd be away The Tradesmen out would cry Come let us kill, eat and slay, Or else for want we die. Then would the Gentry mourn, Without Pride they cannot live, And Slaves to get them corn Whilst they themselves deceive. This Pride becomes our God And dear to us as Life; Whose Absence make us sad And cannot please our wife. If the poor labouring Man Lives of his own increase Where are your Gentry then But gone among the beasts! She didnt know anything about Egyptology! Not a sodding thing! Next thing shes only gone and pulled this ten foot tower out of the ground. In Alexandria! Oh dont, what are the odds on that happening, eh? Archimedes 287 BC 212 BC - If someone could have just found Archimedes one place to stand, one solid point, and a long enough lever, he could have lifted the whole chuffing earth off its foundations! Lifted it straight offYou wake up in the morning and you go down to collect your post but theres no post all there is is a cats collar on the floor OllieNo post, just a cats collar