1 Self-Hate The society we live in promotes too much self-hate that leads to growing envy, demotivation and self-doubt

in people. Self-hatred is the feeling of intense dislike for yourself (Collins Dictionary). Self-hate affects most people every day. It can go unnoticed by many people and stay affective in their conscience or human behaviors, quietly eating them alive. This self-hatred can be caused by many sources including social media, social life, economic status, ethnic background, family members, and environment. Self-hate can be spread very easily by infecting victims with self-doubt. A person affected by self-hate will slowly infect everyone around them almost like a virus. The symptoms can include pessimism, envy, negativity, demotivation, and lack of selfefficacy. Time magazine recently conducted a study on happiness in America, finding that fewer people said they considered themselves optimists in 2013, 50%, as compared to 2004 when 79% called themselves optimists (Dockterman). This radical shift in happiness can be attributed to social media where people often feel others are living happier lives than themselves. Seeing someone else happy can unsettle a self-hater. Instead of searching for happiness and motivating themselves to become happy like others, they express their hate to the people around them. Self-hate victims are often times fueled by envy. Envy is something most people will never admit to having. Celebrities and successful people are usually a subject of envy. Victims view people like Kanye West, Elon Musk, Miley Cyrus, Gwyneth Paltrow, and even popular high school kids as egotistical, undeserving, narcissistic, and condescending. Even though these people never hurt anyone and create positive

2 contributions to society, self-hate victims will continue to spew hate on successful people. Self-Hate victims cannot imagine having the dive, determination and aspirations of successful people. Its much easier for them to sit back and judge; often times claiming they could do better. They become obsessed with checking up on people that appear to be doing better than them. Hours are spent every day scrolling through social media and gossip websites. They cant stop looking at people they claim to hate with a passion. Many dont even realize how detrimental and negative these habits can be. Time magazine asked some self-hate victims with a history of hate-reading, how it made them feel. Ms. Baker concluded her essay with a vow to go cold turkey, as hate-reading satisfies my negative energy, but it leaves me with little more than a false sense of both security and productivity. Or, as she said in an interview (after acknowledging she wasnt able to swear off the habit completely), The practice became way less satisfying after I realized that I was hate-reading to feel superior to other people. (Wayne). These people will often say things like If I saw him in person I would punch him in the face when talking about a certain celebrity they despise. In reality this person would most likely be seen begging to get a photo with the celebrity so they can post it online and feel special. Self-Hate victims can also be affected by envy when they see someone driving a nice car like a Mercedes or Ferrari and assume the owner is a narcissistic prick. Some people have their heads wired to resent successful people. It is not a personal thing with you, they hate everyone who is successful. On some level these people believe that in order to become successful you must have sold your soul to the devil. This will cause

3 them to view your success as a huge moral failure. To them money, fame, and power are all signs of an evil world and evil people (Teal). This is the result of people refusing to believe that others can achieve their goals and be happy from hard work. Instead of using other peoples success as motivation to do it themselves, victims claim that others have unfair advantages, or cheat to get where theyre at. It is easy to find victims of self-hate all over the Internet. They use comment sections, blogs and videos to share their dislikes with people all around the world. The majority of negative commentary stems from physiological projection. Projection is an unconscious fantasy that we are able to rid ourselves of some part of our psyche by splitting it off and putting it outside ourselves, usually into somebody else. While the initial process occurs outside of awareness, maintaining or insisting upon the reality of that projection often occupies our conscious thoughts (Burgo). A common example of projection is when someone that is insecure with their body image will call beautiful people ugly, and point out the smallest of flaws. They do this to satisfy themselves, escaping their insecurities for a brief moment. Children are being raised in a self-hate culture today and nothing is stopping it. Children grow up around an environment that instills self-doubt into their minds. Through out school, kids are taught to be realistic. Its silly and immature for them to dream big or think outside of the box. They are forced into the mentality that there is only one right way of doing something. Eventually they will grow up and enter the real world where they are set up for failure or mediocrity. This cycle continues to run through our generations. Individuals who rely on defensive pessimism set low expectations for their performance, regardless of how well they have done in the past. Defensive pessimists

4 then think through specific negative events and setbacks that could adversely influence their goal pursuits. By envisioning possible negative outcomes, defensive pessimists can take action to avoid or prepare for them (Burgo). Children should be surrounded by positivity, creativity and optimism. This kind of environment is very hard to obtain with the overwhelming amount of pessimism present in our culture. Spreading awareness of self-hate is crucial. Individuals that realize this should actively work to inspire others to believe in themselves. In our hate culture self-confidence, belief in self, and dreaming big are viewed negatively. People think modesty is important. Modesty is really a form of lying to ones self and others in order to satisfy the public. When someone works hard and puts all of their effort into something great, they should be able to express their pride and not be called egotistical. It is preferred in this society that others give you a label and judge your worth. This way, victims of self-hate can reduce the envy they feel when someone achieves something great. Positivity and ambition are encouraged and at the same time looked down upon. Envy from self-hating people can be conveyed in unexpected ways. A self-hate victim will sometimes compliment the people they envy. It might appear to be a sincere compliment, but the motive behind it is jealousy. Watch these people closely and avoid them. They want what you have, and they hate that you have it. The most forward and blatant expression of self-hate is when someone puts down anothers hopes, dreams and aspirations. They will call someones dream stupid. They will tell them that they cant do it and they will never be successful. When the person they put down actually succeeds, the victim will be boiling with envy. They will either

5 spend the rest of their life trying to slander their image, or attempt to destroy them. They are the Dream Killers. I hope that anyone reading this will realize the power and volume of self-hate and become more self-aware. Try to catch yourself when relieving self-hate and focus on changing your self, fixing your inner problems at the source. Take pride in your hard work and try to motivate others to pursue their passions. Stay away and separate yourself from people infected with self-hate. Work on taking on a positive mentality, you can do anything.

You see, if you ever wanted to ever be anything There'd always be somebody that shoot down any dream There'll always be haters, that's the way it is Hater niggas marry hater bitches and have hater kids But they gon' have to take my life before they take my drive Cause when I was barely living, that's what kept me alive - Kanye West

Works Cited Burgo, Joseph. "How to Tell If Youre Projecting." After Psychotherapy. N.p., 23 Feb. 2011. Web. 06 Dec. 2013. Dockterman, Eliana. "TIME Poll: What Makes Americans Happy?" Time.com. Time Magazine, 27 June 2013. Web. 06 Dec. 2013.

6 "Self-Hate." Colins Dictionary. N.p., n.d. Web. <http://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/self-hate>. Teal, Allen. "7 Reasons Why People Hate Those Who Are Successful." Yahoo Contributor Network. N.p., 28 Feb. 2009. Web. 06 Dec. 2013. Wayne, Teddy. "Hate-Reading: Love to Loathe You, Baby." New York Tmes. N.p., 20 Sept. 2013. Web. 06 Dec. 2013. West, Kanye, and Brandy Norwood. "Bring Me Down." Late Registration. Kanye West. Kanye West, Jon Brion, 2005. CD.