Top 35 Ways to Improve Your Personality and

Relationships

Preamble
During the tough times in my life, one of the many meaningful
lessons I learned, was the importance of maintaining happy
relationships with the people I love and care about. Sometimes in
our busy modern lives, we tend to forget this.

As the great teacher Brian Tracy says "85% of an individual's

happiness comes from happy involvement with other people." So
what are some of the personal communication skills we need to
understand and frequently practice, in order to develop a healthy
personality and maintain many happy relationships?

1. Accept Responsibility :
The price of greatness is the responsibility – Winston Churchill

“Responsibility gravitates to the person who can shoulder them.”

-- Elbert Hubbard

Society is not destroyed by the activities of the rascals, but by

the inactivity of good people.

2. Show consideration :
Show consideration, courtesy, politeness and caring.

3. Think Win-Win :
4. Choose your words carefully:
The principle is your speaking must be better than silent, rather
be silent.

Words spoken out of bitterness can cause irreparable damage.

The way the parents speak to their children in many instances
shapes their children’s destiny.

5. Never Criticise, Complain and Condemn

6. Smile and Be Kind :
Smile is the shortest distance between two people.

7. Put Positive interpretation on other people’s

behaviour:
We see the world not as it is, but as we are.

So when we are interpreting other peoples behavior negatively

we just reflecting our own mentality to this situation. In contrast
when interpret positively, chances that other people may realize
its negativity and change or amend this.

8. Be a Good Listener :
Effective communication is 50% listening, 25% speaking, 15%
reading and 10% writing. So when we listen carefully then 50%
communication is done.

9. Be Enthusiastic :
Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm
--- Ralph Waldo Emersion

10. Give honest and Sincere Appreciation :

The desire to feel important is one of the gratest craving in most
of the human beings and it can be a great motivator. Honest and
sincere appreciation makes one feel important and promote these
positive qualities in him. In contrast giving false and insincere
appreciation is flattery or sycophancy which in the long run is
harmful to the receipient.

11. When you make a mistake, accept it and make

it easy to amend:

Mistakes are to be learned from. So accept it immediately and

make change or amend easy.

12. Discuss but don’t argue:

Arguing is like fighting a losing battle. Even if one wins in the
argument, the cost may be more than the worth of victory.

An Ignominious victory is a defeat in itself.

13. Don’t Gossip:

Gossip may lead to slander and defamation of character. People
who listen to gossip are as guilty as those who do the gossiping.

14. Turn your promises into commitment:

Commitment leads to enduring relationship through thick and
thin. It shows in a person's personality and relationship.

15. Be grateful but do not expect gratitude:

16. Be dependable and practise loyalty:

An ounce of loyalty is worth more than a pound of cleverness.

Ability without dependability is of no worth.

17. Avoid bearing grudges:

Life is too small to bear grudges.

John F. Kennedy once said “forgive the other person but

don’t forget their name.”
Means “if a person cheated me once it is his fault, but if he
cheats me twice then it is my fault.”
Don’t be cheated regularly to forgive.

18. Practice Honesty, Integrity and Sincerity:

Lies may have speed, but the truth has endurance.
Honesty, Integrity and Sincerity have more enduring effect than
the opposite.

19. Practice Humility:

Confidence without humility is arrogance. Sincere Humility is the
foundation of all virtues. It is a sign of greatness.

20. Be Understanding and Caring :

The best way to be understood is to be understanding. And the
basis of real communication is also understanding.

21. Practice courtesy on daily basis :

22. Develop a sense of humour:

Have a sense of humoUr and you will possess the ability to laugh
at yourself. A sense of humoUr makes a person likeable and
attractive.

23. Don’t be sarcastic and put others down :

24. To have a friend, be a Friend :

Mutual trust and confidence are the foundation stone of all
Friendship.

25. Show Empathy :

Empathy alone is a very important characteristic of positive
personality. People with empathy ask themselves this question,
“How would I feel if someone treated me that way?”

26. Practice indirect effort.

In our relationships with other people, we have a tendency to get
what we want by using an indirect approach, rather than a direct
approach. Realise that people are more impressed by you, if you
at first demonstrate genuine interest in them. The key to having
quality relationships is based upon what you first put into those
relationships.

27. Raise the self esteem of others.

Develop your own "Personal Communications Strategy" which
strives to make others at work and home feel important. By
raising the self-esteem of others, your own self-esteem will rise.

28. Pay attention.

Be attentive when people are talking to you. This means stopping
what you are doing, looking straight at the person talking,
avoiding distractions and not interrupting. Remember that your
100% attention tells a person that you genuinely value them.

29. Eliminate negative destructive criticism.

Nothing is more demoralising to adults and children. Start to
listen to how you are speaking to the people you care about. The
first step towards ceasing destructive criticism of others is to
recognise when you are using it. If unsure, ask people if you
frequently use criticism on them.

30. Don't argue.

Instead of taking a contrary stance just for the sake of it, start to
listen and understand the other person's point of view at work
and at home. Like any new habit, this may not be easy at first,
but for the sake of the important people in your life, force
yourself to do it.

31. Say "Thank you" more often.

I am continually amazed at the lack of appreciation shown by
people, particularly in business. It takes but a moment to say,
yet can leave a lasting positive impression. Start a new "Thank
You" habit today. Apply it regularly in your relationships with your
children, your spouse or partner, your fellow workers, your boss
and even in your letters and e-mails etc.

32. Practice "The Golden Rule."

This rule simply tells us that we should love others as much as
we love ourselves. Next time you find yourself in a potentially
difficult situation, ask yourself this question: "How would I like to
be treated in this situation?"

33. Avoid self-pity.

Sometimes we inwardly feel sorry for ourselves and just want to
relieve the stress and strain by "taking it out" on somebody close
to us. This situation is a sign of low self-esteem, which can be
raised by re-focusing upon your true values and goals. Not
knowing them, is a strong indication as to where you should
start.

34. Make a commitment.

Be sure in your own mind that you are putting in and openly
demonstrating a 100% commitment in your important
relationships. If improvement is required, then take the
appropriate steps, starting today.

35 You can't change people.

This is so important to understand. Nobody can change another
person. Change only emerges from within a willing individual. We
must therefore recognise that if we want others to change, then
first we need to change.

Finally, if you wish for happier relationships at work or at home,

recognise that the starting point is always "YOU". Self-knowledge
is an invaluable personal asset, it will steer you towards
successful relationships throughout your life.