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One of the cornerstones of Judaism is the possibility of Teshuva – return. Man is endowed with a
divine spark which is manifest in his free choice: He can utilize his free choice to emulate God, to
seek God. Alternatively man can chose to follow his baser side, and sin. At times, a conscious
choice is made, while at times man is pulled as if by a magnet. His animal instincts control him,
and he does not utilize his capacity to choose; rather, he chooses not to choose. The result is
debasement, impurity and sin. When this happens man can wallow in sin and impurity, sinking to
lower and lower levels, or man can choose to break the shackles of ignominy and seek God. At
such times, man may identify a different magnet pulling him toward God and away from his own
inconsistencies and spiritual pain. This process is known as Teshuva.
But is Teshuva always obtainable? Is it an inalienable right? Can we always return – or can the
abyss become so deep that there is no return? This question is discussed in the Talmud:
The Talmud teaches that not all sins can be erased. The spiritual scar can be too deep to be
removed by mere regret; the penitent will perish, his penance notwithstanding. Why repent,
then, if death will follow? Rashi grapples with this unavoidable question, and offers a new
vantage point: In such a case, death is not necessarily a punishment, but a result of the struggle
between good and evil waged within the penitent. The struggle to destroy the powerful evil
inclination, which had enjoyed so many victories with this individual, will prove overwhelming for
the spiritual resources this person has accrued, and the person will perish.
While death may be seen as the result of the return, death itself can bring about atonement]1[
and the penitent can be assured a place in the world to come. In fact, a number of sources
regard death as a necessary aspect of atonement in some cases.
Sin and the accompanying pleasure, cause damage to the soul. Some type of atonement is
needed to recreate the delicate balance between body and soul. Different types of sin require
different types of atonement. The worst type of sin – the desecration of God’s name -requires
death as atonement.
The Talmud continues and recounts the story of a woman who apparently was guilty of idolatry
among the host of sins she had committed:
The thesis of the Talmud remains intact; returning from idolatry causes death (as atonement). In
this case the Talmud insists that while she was guilty of idolatry, her return was not complete, nor
sincere. Hence no death needed to immediately follow in order to guarantee atonement, for no
atonement was forthcoming due to the lack of regret. The Talmud retells another version of the
same story:
This woman did die; the Talmud’s thesis is upheld once again – return from idolatry causes
death. The Talmud then explores whether idolatry is the only offense with this result and tells us
an incredible tale:
We are told of a habitual sinner who, remarkably, is introduced as “Rabbi”, although his behavior
is not consistent with this appellation. Careful reading of the passage indicates that he is referred
to as “Rabbi” posthumously, and only in retrospect. In life this man was indeed a sinner: he did
not teach, nor even study]3[. His only concern was fulfilling his own sordid desires. Only in death
does he become a Rabbi.]4[
Even with the issue of ordination cleared, the story remains difficult. What is the meaning of the
bizarre behavior of the prostitute, and why does she say what she says? Why does he take her
words so seriously? What is the meaning of his conversation with the mountains and hills, the
sun and moon and stars? Why does he merit to be called Rabbi? And finally, why does he die?
Whether his dialogue with hills and mountains is real or imagined]5[, it provides a fascinating
description of what Teshuva is not. The rejection of his impassioned plea leaves us with the
understanding that the answer to man’s prayers does not lie in the forces of nature: When it
comes to repentance or return, nature cannot help man. The image is stark: Here is a man who
succumbed to his own base nature. His desires dictated the type of man he would be, and the
forces of nature cannot lead him to spiritual healing.
The message is essential to our understanding the dynamics of Teshuva: Teshuva is not made of
worldly stuff. The secret of Teshuva does not lie within the cosmos. Teshuva is metaphysical. It
was created before the physical world.]6[ Teshuva is a return to God; as God transcends time
space and matter, man who forges a relationship with God can transcend his past. This concept
can be described utilizing a mathematical formula: Infinite plus finite remains infinite.]7[ Reality
is God. Only this infinite reality existed before the creation of our physical, limited world. The only
aspect of our existence that is “real” is that which is in relationship with this infinite reality- God.
Finite man who has a relationship with the infinite God can thus move beyond the physical
boundaries of time and space to transcend the mistakes of his past. What is real is the present
relationship with God.
Eleazar approaches nature but his efforts are rejected. As far as nature is concerned, man today
may stop doing what he did yesterday; rehabilitation is possible, but Teshuva, metaphysical
cleansing and healing, is not.
Let us now return to an earlier part of the story. At the point of rapture, air escapes from the
woman, and she looks at her client Eleazar and says, “As this air will not return to its place, so
will Eleazar b. Dordaya never be received in repentance.” Her behavior and words confound us.
Does she discuss the spiritual status of all her clients? Is such a service included in her price? The
word used in the text is heficha; Rashi explains that a wind (or spirit – Hebrew word is ruach)
blew forth. The first time a derivative of heficha is used in the Torah is when man is given his
soul.
בראשית פרק ב
(ז( וַיִיצֶר ה’ אֱלֹהִים אֶת הָאדָם עָפָר מִן הָאֲדָמָה וַיִפַח בְאפָיו נִשְמַת
חַיִים וַיְהִי הָאדָם לְנֶפֶש חַיָה
And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed (vayipach) into his
nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. ]Berishit 2:7[
Apparently what this woman is saying is that his soul had become impossibly soiled]8[. Her
motivation is obscure: Perhaps, being accustomed to having total control of her body and
suddenly, unexpectedly, losing that control, enables her to recognize that Eleazar is lost in a
similar way.]9[ This shocks Eleazar: He always thought of himself as redeemable; he probably
didn’t think he was all that bad. He probably told himself that he was a decent fellow who just
likes to party a bit, never noticing the extent to which he had deteriorated spiritually. He thought
of himself as a basically decent person who would always be able to mend his ways. Suddenly,
this woman’s cynical laugh tells him that he is hopeless. He is devastated by the mere thought
and decides, then and there, to seek change.
He seeks a way back but is told that he is hopelessly degenerate, suffering from malignant
deterioration. This may be the meaning of his name ‘Ben Durdaya’-- the son of hitdardarut, the
one who deteriorated further and further until all seemed lost.]10[
His first name, though, is Eleazar, which means ‘God can help’]11[. No matter how far any sinner
deteriorates he remains Eleazar, God can always help. When he walks away from the prostitute,
separating himself from his sin, he seeks purity, not mere rehabilitation. He wants his soul to be
pure again, as pure as it was the day he was born. He turns to nature in an attempt to turn back
the clock, but is told that such a request is impossible. Nature can neither control nor impact the
past.
When he makes his plea to nature, Eleazar repeatedly beseeches: “Ask for mercy for me”, the
Hebrew word being rachamim. The root of this word is ReCheM, which can also be rendered
‘womb’: rachmanut is the type of mercy a mother has for her child – it is almost unlimited. But
when we recall that this is a man who has slept with countless women we realize that the term
rachamim also describes the area and nature of his sin. He wants to go back to the moment of
birth, to start all over again. He wants purity.
This explains his next action: “He placed his head between his knees, he wept aloud until his soul
departed.” Eleazar assumes a “fetal” position and then cries until his soul departs. He symbolically
reverses the process of birth and life in an effort to achieve the purity possessed by a soul when
it is brand new. Though nature shunned him he knew that he possessed within himself the ability
to find peace and serenity. He says “The matter then depends upon me alone”]12[. The “me” is
Eleazar, the individual whom God can help despite the deterioration, the individual who has a
divine soul, no matter how soiled it has become, no matter how degenerate, who always has the
capacity for Teshuva.
This is why he is called “Rabbi”: He teaches us a valuable lesson, that Teshuva is always possible
even if death is the result. He does not let the naysayers sway him from a path of holiness, and
he does not let his years of corruption prevent his pursuit of holiness. He does not allow his past
to destroy his future, and in one glorious moment, he finally understands why he was born and
seeks God with all his heart and all his soul – even to the point of losing his life.]13[
While his gesture is grand and his resolve admirable, why did he need to die? The Talmud says
that his corruption was so all-consuming, his indulgence so addictive, that it was as if he was an
idolater. He worshiped]14[ his own lust with all his heart and all his soul and all his possessions.
He was willing to cross seven]15[ rivers; he took all the money that was required, for his soul
was consumed by his addiction. In order to be healed he needed to use the same forces: he now
needed to serve God with all his heart all his soul and all his possessions. Perhaps this intense
reversal is what led to his death. Perhaps his death was actually a kindness]16[ on the part of
God; for such a corrupt man to have reached a spiritual high is quite impressive, but how would
this man conduct himself on a day-to-day basis? With his addiction subdued or under control,
what would his life have been? Would he have been able to sustain this religious high with any
consistency? Or was death an escape? Perhaps the only way he would gain a share in the world
to come was by leaving the world at the time of his pinnacle, the moment he cried and achieved
purity.
Our conclusion must be that Teshuva is always possible, though at times the effects of sin are so
profound that they cannot be elevated. Death alone brings atonement. The uplifting message of
the story, indeed the message and teaching of Rabbi Eleazar ben Durdaya, is that Teshuva is
always accessible, purity always possible, a share in the world to come always available, even for
the worst of sinners.]17[
]6[ See Bereishit Rabbah 1:4, Zohat Bereishit page 134b, for more on this topic see Emanations
page 187f.
]7[ See Explorations, Parshat Vayakhel.
]8[ Rav Yehonatan Eibeshitz Sefer Ya’arot Dvash volume one, Drush one, says that her intention
is to dissuade him from repenting, that he may as well not bother.
)ספר יערות דבש -חלק ראשון -דרוש א )המשך
אמנם הענין כך ,כי זאת הזונה ביקשה לזרזו לתאותו וחמדת העבירה ,ולכך הפיחה ,ואמרה כשם
שאי אפשר להחזיר הפיחה ,דהא כבר נעשה ,כך אדם שחטא מה יועיל תשובה ,הא כבר נעשתה
העבירה והקלקול והפגם ,וכל תשובה שבעולם לא תועיל לתקן את אשר כבר נעשה ,וא"כ דאין לך
עוה"ב ,שמח בחור בילדותך וייטב לך בעוה"ז ,כי זה חלקך מכל עמלך ,ור"א ב"ד לא שמע לקולה,
,ונתן לבו לחקור ,והנה חקר טיב החטא בשל מי הרעה למר
]9[ This suggestion is made by the Ben Yehoyada, according to this approach, she represents
demonic forces and she wishes to keep him ensnared in sin.
ספר בניהו בן יהוידע על עבודה זרה דף יז/א
שם אמרה כשם שההפיחה אינה חוזרת .נ"ל כי אלו הזונות שלוקחין אתנן הרבה המה נזהרין לעשות
הכנה ותיקון לעצמן ע"י סמנים שלא יבואו לידי הפחה כדי שלא ימאסו בעיני המנאפים שלוקחים
מהם אתנן הרבה ,וזו ודאי נזהרת בכך ,אך היא לא באה לה הפחה טבעית אלא באה ההפחה בגזרת
שמים כדי שעל ידה יצמח קרן תשובה להאיש הזה ,והיא כשראתה ההפחה וידעה שאין זו טבעית,
מאחר שהיא עשתה לעצמה הכנה טבעית למנוע ולדחות ההפחה שלא תבא ,אך חשבה שהפחה זו
היא מעשה שטן שרמז לו בזה כשם שההפחה אינה חוזרת כך אלעזר בן דורדיא אין מקבלין אותו
בתשובה ,והגידה דבר זה לפניו כדי לחזק לבו במעשה הרע יותר ויתייאש מן התשובה מכאן ולהבא,
ואז יתמיד ברשעתו ,נמצא היא חשבה לעשות לו חבלים חזקים בדבריה אלו כדי למשכו לעומק
הקליפה ,אבל מן השמים נעשו לו חבלים אלו למשכו לצד הקדושה ונהפך לבו לטובה מן הקצה אל
:הקצה
]10[ I heard this suggestion said in the name of Rav Yehuda Amital. Also see Siftei Chaim by Rav
Chaim Freidlander (volume one page 3) while he doesn’t openly make the suggestion it is
implied. The Maharal (Netiv HaTeshuva chapter 8, and Chidushei Aggadot Avoda Zara) identifies
the name with the Aramaic meaning of spoiled grapes.
ספר נתיבות עולם ב עמוד קעב -נתיב התשובה פרק ח
יראה לומר כי שמו שנקרא בו מורה על מהותו ,וזה כי מה שנקרא דורדיא שהלשון זה לשון שמרי יין
והוא הפסולת מן היין ,והרשע נקרא חומץ בן יין ,וכאשר חטא בגופו בזנות נקרא שהיה בן דורדיא כי
היה כולו פסולת כמו השמרים ,רק כי היה מוכן אל התשובה ולפיכך נקרא אלעזר בן דורדיא ,אלעזר
שהוא הכח שבאדם על התשובה כי הש"י עוזר אל האדם כמו שאמרו [יומא ל"ח ,ב'] הבא לטהר
מסייעין אותו כדאמרי' וימינו של הקב"ה פשוטה לקבל שבים
]11[ This idea is found in the writings of Rav Menachem Mendel of Shklov, commentary to the
Zohar page 55.
כתבי הגרמ"מ משקלוב -ביאורי הזהר -דף נה
אבל מי שכבר ח"ו נפל צריך שיתחזק ולשוב בתשובה שלימה במסירת נפש כר"א בן דורדיא [עי' ע"ז
יז ,].שנפל בשמרי היין [עיי"ש לב .ועי' זח"א ס"ת קמח ,].בעזרי אל עלה במסירת נפשו ,כי ע"ז ג"ע
וש"ד בהדבק ח"ו ,לא יוכל לעלות ויחיה בשום אופן ,רק במסירת נפש וימות הוא עולה ,אך אם בלא
מתכוין מחמת איזה חטא גרם לו שנפל לשם ,עליו נאמר ויעליני מבו"ר שאו"ן [תהלים מ] ,סוד אנו"ש
מטיט היו"ן [שם] ,סוד הטבעיות שטבעו חכמות יונית בעו"ה ,וטבעו בארץ שעריה [איכה ב] ,אשר ב'
אלו סוד י"ה של שם הוי"ה ,נגד אנכי ולא יהיה לך ,והם באים מחמת עין ולב ,קנאה תאוה ,וכלי
:המעשה הן הידים ורגלים מוציאין הכח בפעל
]12[ See Siftei Chaim by Rav Chaim Freidlander who develops this point.
]13[ Halachic authorities debate whether such a death constitutes suicide. See Respona Shvut
Yaakov Volume 2 section 111, where in the context of discussing the suicide of a repentant sinner
who sought his “deserved” punishment he introduces the example of Eleazar ben Durdaya and
says this was not a case of suicide. He brings the commentary of Rashi from the start of the
passage, who explains the death of the sinner who repents as being the result of a broken heart,
but not suicide. Also see Shem Gedolim section “Yud” subsection 17.
]14[ When the Talmud says he heard of a certain prostitute, the Hebrew word is Shoma, which is
spelled the same as Shema the commandment to believe in one God, and the verse in the Torah
that precedes the command to love God with all one’s heart soul, and possessions.
]15[ The number seven often refers to the totality of the physical world.
]16[ Rav Menashe Klein came to the same conclusion, that his death was a kindness on God’s
part. See Mishne Halachot volume 13 section 214.
]17[ The Shelah Hakadosh makes this point regarding Eleazar ben Durdaya and says therefore
even Elisha ben Avuya could have repented – even though a voice from heaven told him not to
bother. Shaar Otiot Emek Bracha.
)ספר השל"ה הקדוש -שער האותיות -עמק ברכה )כב
ועוד דאפילו אלישע אחר ,אם הפציר והרבה בתפלה והיה מסגף עצמו בסיגופים גדולים וקשים כמו
שעשה מנשה ,יכול להיות שהיה מקובל ברחמים רבים [ע"ל בסימן נ"ב] ,ואף על פי ששמע מאחורי
הפרגוד חוץ מאחר ,לא היה לו למנוע את עצמו מן הרחמים אף שידע כבודו ומרד בו .ודוגמת זו מצינו
בר' אלעזר בן דורדיא בפרק קמא דעבודה זרה )יז ,א( ,שאמרו עליו שלא הניח זונה שלא בא עליה,
פעם אחת שמע שיש זונה בכרכי הים ונוטלת כיס דינרין בשכרה ,נטל כיס דינרין והלך ועבר עליה
שבעה נהרות .בשעת הרגל דבר הפיחה ,אמרה ,כשם שהפחה זו אינה חוזרת כן אליעזר בן דורדיא
אין מקבלין אותו בתשובה .הלך וישב בין הרים וגבעות ,אמר ,הרים וגבעות בקשו עלי רחמים ,אמרו
לו ,עד שאנו מבקשים עליך רחמים וכו' .אמר ,חמה ולבנה בקשו עלי רחמים וכו' ,עד אמר כוכבים
ומזלות בקשו עלי רחמים וכו' .עד אמר אין הדבר תלוי אלא בי ,הניח ראשו בין ברכיו וגעה בבכיה
עד שיצאה נשמתו ,יצאה בת קול ואמרה ,ר' אלעזר בן דורדיא מזומן לחיי עולם הבא ,ע"כ .ומסיק
שם בגמרא כיון דאביק ביה טובא כמינות הוה ,כך לא היה לו לאחר לייאש עצמו מן התשובה ,אף
:על פי שבת קול יצא והכריז חוץ מאחר ,היה לו לעשות את שלו אפילו היה מת מתוך התשובה