Pathan's Interview Pathan being intrviewed at U.K Embasy: CONSULATE: Your name please? Pathan: Gul khan.

CONSLATE: Sex ? Pathan: Ten times a week. CONSULATE: I mean male or female? Pathan: Both male and female and sometimes Camels too. CONSULATE: You seem Ugly. Pathan: Yes Ugly and Pichli both sides. CONSULATE: Freaky Ass! Pathan: Yes, sometimes free ki ass somtimes have to pay. CONSULATE: Man are you hostile? Pathan: Horse style,dog style any style. CONSULATE: Oh dear!!! Pathan: Deer? No deer they run very fast.

Why Married Couples Don't Have Sex Dear Wife, During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeede d 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often: 54 times the sheets were just cleaned 17 times it was too late 49 times you were too tired 20 times it was too hot 15 times you pretended to be sleep 22 times you had a headache 17 times you were afraid of waking the baby 16 times you said you were too sore 12 times it was the wrong time of the month 19 times you had to get up early 9 times you said weren't in the mood 7 times you were sunburned 6 times you were watching the late show 5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo 3 times you said the neighbors would hear us 9 times you said your mother would hear us Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because: 6 times you just laid there 8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with 7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished 1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move. Wife's reply: Dear Husband, I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you didn't get m ore than you did: 5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat 36 times you did not come home at all 21 times you didn't come with energy 33 times you came too soon

19 times you went soft before you got in 38 times you worked too late 10 times you got cramps in your toes 29 times you had to get up early to play golf 2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls 4 times you got it stuck in your zipper 3 times you had a cold and your nose was running 2 times you had a splinter in your finger 20 times you lost the motion after thinking about it all day 6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book 98 times you were too busy watching TV Of the times we did get together: The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets. I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was, "Would you pre fer me on my back or kneeling?" The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breathe.

A lawyer came home after having sex in his car. Girl forgot her bra and panty in car. The wife found them, tore them up and shouted, "You dirty bastard you have been screwing your secretary." Without blinking an eyelid, lawyer shouted back, "Bitch! You have just destroyed the only evidence of a high profile rape case I have been working on. You can n ow forget about diamond necklace you were asking for." Wife fell on her knees, crying and trying to repair the torn pieces and lawyer w alked away with a smile. Marriage

Two voices, one male and one female, overheard on a flight to Vancouver from Sin gapore. "I think everyone's asleep, let's go." "This one's empty... nobody's looking... You go in first." "It's a bit cramped - let me sit down." "Have you got the condom? Quick - put it on." Sniff.. Sniff... "Ah perfume - you think of everything !" "This is great...!" (long deep sighs)... Suddenly a voice erupts over the intercom and then..."This is the Captain speaki ng... To those two people in the rear toilet. We know what you're doing and it i s expressly forbidden by AirlineRegulations.... Now put out those cigarettes and take the condom off the smoke detector!" Miscellaneous

A married couple at a Zoo walks past a gorilla enclosure. Says the woman, "Mark, do you know that gorillas are the only animals which rese mble men in their behavior? Look, seeing that no one is looking, I'll expose one of my breasts to it & see how horny it gets just as men do." Mary then exposes one of her breasts, and, sure enough the gorilla gets excited and grabs the bars of the enclosure as if it wanted to break free. "See," says the woman, "Now, I know why you react the way you do; men can't cont rol their animal instincts just like gorillas can't." Says Mark, "Now expose both breasts and let us see what happens." The woman exposes both breasts to the gorilla and it gets very excited and is no w desperately trying to escape from the enclosure. Says Mark, "This is incredible, now, pull your skirt up, turn around and expose your bum and let us see what happens!" The woman pulls her skirt up, turns around with her bum to the gorilla, which by now, was extremely aroused, breaks free from the enclosure, grabs the woman and starts yanking the clothes off her. The woman yells, "Mark , what do I do now? Please, help me!" Mark replies, "Now, tell him you have a headache and you're not in mood... Let u s see if Gorillas and Men are the same."

If Men Wrote Advice Columns Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me. A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only o ne of you he can only settle for the next best thing - your best friend. Far fro m being an issue, this can only bring you closer together. Why not get some of y our old college roomates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you're still not sure then j ust perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it. Q: My husband continuously asks me to perform oral sex on him. A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. In terstingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is thank him by performing it twice a day, then cook him a nice meal. Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys. A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. Man is a hunt er and needs to prove his prowess with other man. A night out chasing young sing le girls is great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home . Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than spending a few da

ys away from home (plus it's a great time to clean the house). Just look how emo tional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing for yo u to do when he returns home is for your and your best friend to perform oral se x on him, then cook him a nice meal. Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is. A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it do i t during your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotap e yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious mea l. Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay. A: You are a bad person for bringing this up and should seek sensitivity trainin g. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be availab le to your husband at all times without any strings attached. What this probably means is that you do not love your husband as much as you should. He should nev er have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you could make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cooking a nice meal. Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without giv ing me one. A: I'm not sure I understand your problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal.

What Saddam Blew Off! A man is back from the US-Iraq war and is with his wife for the first night in t he year she says to him, "Honey do you wanna do something?" "No," he replies and they fall asleep. The following day she goes to a sex therapist and she gives her a plan. That night she stands by the window and feels the breeze, takes off her top and says, "Ooh, look what the wind blew off!" Then she takes off her jeans and said, "Ooh, look what the wind blew off!" Then she takes off her undergarments and said "Ooh, look what the wind blew off! " Then her husband got out of bed and stood up and started to undo his jeans. His wife got all excited. Then he pulls down his knickers and says, "Look at what Saddam blew off!"

Most Important People in a Woman's Life

The Doctor because he says, "Take off your clothes." The Dentist because he says, "Open Wide." The Hairdresser because he says, "Do you want it teased or blown." The Milkman because he says, "Do you want it in front or in back?" The Interior Decorator because he says, "Once you have it all in, you'll love it ." T he Banker because he says, "If you take it out to soon, you'll lose interest." The Mailman because he always delivers his package. The Pilot because he takes off fast and then slows down. The Hunter because he always goes deep in the bush, shoots twice and always eats what he shoots.

A Boy was screwing a girl on a Railway track. The train driver spots them and starts hooting but they ignore it. He applies br akes so hard and the train stops just a few yards away from the couple. Driver j umps from the engine and walks to the boy who just finished and is standing up a nd zipping up his pants. The driver shouts out to the boy, "Do you realize that if I had not seen you, th is would have been ur last f**ck?!!!" The Boy replied, "Listen dude, you were coming... She was cuming.... and I was c uming.... then I realised... only You had Brakes!

Sex Terminology! Lips - Start of sex. Nipples - Bite of Sex. Boobs - Shape of sex. Penis - Length of sex. Pussy- Depth of sex. Ass - Back door entry of sex. Nudity - Invitation of sex. Fuck - Xperience of sex.

Suck - Taste of sex. Masturbation -Substitute of sex. Condom - Safety of sex. Sperm - Cream of sex. Ejaculation - End of sex. Prostitute - Machine of sex. Marriage - License of sex. Periods - Having Rest from sex. Pregnancy - Proof of sex. Child - Result of Sex. HAVE SEXY Winters!!!

Male Anatomy!!! A woman was on the way to winning $100,000 on a game show, but her final questio n was suspended for the next night. Her husband sneaked into the studio and foun d the question and answer. He raced home and told his wife, "Your question is 'What are the three main part s of the male anatomy', and the answer is 'The head, heart and penis.' The woman thinks about this throughout the night, but keeps forgetting the answe r. Her husband keeps reminding her, "The head, heart and penis." Come the game show she has forgotten again, and the presenter asks, "For $100,00 0, what are the three main parts of the male anatomy? You have ten seconds." "Um... the head." "Good. Eight seconds." "Um... the heart." "That's right. Five seconds." "Oh... um... damn. My husband drilled it into me last night and I had it on the tip of my tongue this morning..." "That's close enough! You've won $100,000!"

Alok Nath Ke Sanskaar Teacher to Alok Nath: Wo kya hai jo COW ke paas chaar aur mere paass 2 hain? Alok Nath: Madam, Legs. Mam: Wo kya hai jo tumhare PANT mein hai aur mere peticoat mein nahin? Alok Nath: Ji, Pocket. Mam: Wo kya hai jo din mein lene ke bajay raat ko bistar pe lte hain? Alok Nath: Ji, Neend. Mam: Wo kya hai jo LADKI 1st time karwane par jor se chillati hai. Alok Nath: Kaan mein ched. Mam: Wo kya hai jiske aadha jaane par dard hota hai par pura jaane par achcha la gta hai? Alok Nath: Haathon mein Kangan. Mam: Wo kya hai jiske paas ho to haath mein pakad kar hilata hai, aur jiske paas na ho toh ongli daal kar hilata hai?Hai. Alok Nath: TOOTH BRUSH. Ye Hote Hai Sanskaar... BC

ADVERTISEPRIVACY POLICYABOUTTERMS Bra Ki Mehak Churai Nahi Jati; Panty Ki Jhalak Chupai Nahi Jati; Kitni Bhi Choti Ho Aurat Ki Mosambi; Ek Bar Chuus Lo To Bhulai Nahi Jati! Arz Kiya Hai: Jab Bhi Tujhe Zakhm Hua; Wah Wah! Jab Bhi Tujhe Zakhm Hua; Maine Kapde Utaar Diye Aur Tere Jism Se Chipak Gayi; Yahi Mera Kaam Hai, Band-Aid Mera Naam Hai; Aur Teri Sooch Ko Hazaaron Salaam Hai! Jhaante Kaatne Se Choot Aur Nikhar Jaati Hai; Ajeeb Gulshan Hai Yeh Jiss Mein Ujadne Se Bahaar Aati Hai! Arz hai: Har ek Lund Pe Likha Hai ek Choot Ka Naam; Wah Wah! Pehle Sunn to le, Laude! Har ek Lund Pe Likha Hai ek Choot Ka Naam; To Phir Kyun Nahi Dete Ho Hatho Ko Araam! Marzi Ka Sex Kabhi Paap Nahi Hota; Piche se Dalne Wala Kabhi Baap Nahi Hota; Condom Lagana Mat Bulna, Mere Dost; Kyunki Khade Lund Ke Paas Dimag Nahi Hota! Kunwari Kali Na Chodiye, Chud Ke Kare Ghamand;

Chudi-Chudai Chodiye Jo Lapak Ke Leve Lund! Gaur Farmayiye: Gaand Marwane Se Kissi Ki Maut Nahi Hoti Ghalib; Wah wah! Gaand Marwane Se Kissi Ki Maut Nahi Hoti Ghalib; Sirf Chalne Ke Andaaz Badal Jaaya Karte Hain! Dilbar Ka Zara Gour Dilbar Ka Usne Laat Hamne Pyaar Se Jo Stana Daba Diye; Farmaiye: Hamne Pyaar Se Jo Stana Daba Diye; Mar Ke Hamaare Gottie Suja Diye!

Arz Kiya Hai: Qutab Minar Ko Dekhker Suresh Ka Dimag Dauda; Wah Wah! Qutab Minar Ko Dekhker Suresh Ka Dimag Dauda; Aasmaan Ko Chodne Chala Dharti Ka Lauda! My wife and I are not sexually compatible. When I want oral, she wants sex. ~ JD Ghai Trivia The world's most expensive porn film to date is "Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge ", which cost $8,000,000 and ran 138 minutes. Graffiti It's only premarital sex if you're going to get married. Rest

Arz Kiya Hai: Woh Aye Apke Sapno Mein Aur Apko Swapndosh Ho Geya; Wah Wah! Woh Aye Apke Sapno Mein Aur Apko Swapndosh Ho Geya; Uski Bhi Ijjat Bach Gayi Aur Apko Bhi Santosh Mil Geya! Funny Zindagi Ki Yaha Koi Aukat Nahi Hoti; 2-3 Peg Ke Bina Yaha Raat Nahi Hoti; Yeh Bharat Desh kis Shaan 'Punjab' Hai Meri Jaan; Ishq, Daaru Aur Bhenchod Ke Bina Koi Baat Nahi Hoti! Zindagi Kaash Aisi Girlfriend Mile Jo Kahe: Udaas Kyun Rehte Ho Tanha Shaam Ki Tarah; Wah Wah! Udaas Kyun Rehte Ho Tanha Shaam Ki Tarah; Aao Mere Duddu Choos Lo, Desi Aam Ki Tarah! Funny Shikwa Nahin Kisi Se, Kisi Se Gila Nahin; Shikwa Nahin Kisi Se, Kisi Se Gila Nahin; Uska Bra Hi Nai Style Ka Tha, Jo Hum Se Khula Nahin! Gila Shikwa Nipple Nipple Little Star; Can I fuck you in My Car. Up Above Your Boobs So High; Always Milky Never Dry. Let Me Press it, Don't Feel Shy; Open Your Panty, Let Me Try! Funny Aaisi Ladki Chodiye, Lund Ka Aapa Khoye;

Auron Se Chudi Na Ho, Biwi Wo Hi Hoye! Funny Kal Chode So Aaj Chod, Aaj Chode So Ab; Biwi To Chudti Rahegi, Padosan Ko Chodega Kab! Funny Fir Na Silegi, Yeh Gand Agar Fat Jayegi; Zindagi Jhaat Nahi, Jo Fir Ugg Jayegi; Jo Maal Pasand Hai Usse Himmat Kar Ke Thok Lo; Varna Zindagi Yuhi Hilane Mein Gujar Jayegi! Zindagi Sochta Hun Aaj Bahon Mein Pakad Ke Dal Hi Dun; Teri Ghane Kaale Balon Mein Phool Gulab Ka; Kambakht Dalte Hi Gir Jata Hai, Patta Patta Gulab Ka! Funny Qutub Minaar Ko Dekh Kar Galib Ka Dimaag Dauda; Qutub Minaar Ko Dekh Kar Galib Ka Dimaag Dauda; Aasmaan Ko Chodne Chala Dharti Ka Loda! Funny Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Next SMS Picture SMS Jokes Cartoons SMS Picture SMS Jokes Cartoons FaceBook Covers Hindi SMS Hindi PicSMS Hindi Jokes ????? SMS ????? PicSMS ????? ??????? Hindi Cartoons Hindi FaceBook Covers Quotes Picture Quotes Hindi Quotes Hindi PicQuotes Quotes Picture Quotes ????? ????? PicQuotes Shayari Shayari PICSMS Hindi Shayari Hindi PICSMS Shayari Shayari PICSMS ????? ????? ????? ????? PICSMS Trivia / Facts Trivia PICSMS Graffiti Graffiti PICSMS Trivia / Facts Trivia PICSMS Graffiti Graffiti PICSMS Quotes My wife and I are not sexually compatible. When I want oral, she wants sex. ~ JD Ghai Trivia The world's most expensive porn film to date is "Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge ", which cost $8,000,000 and ran 138 minutes. Graffiti It's only premarital sex if you're going to get married. Rest

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SantaBanta Marriage Bar Doctors Lawyers Religion Children Restricted Jokes Page 3 New Random Restricted Jokes > Restricted Jokes Page: 3 Very Logical A Boy was screwing a girl on a Railway track. The train driver spots them and starts hooting but they ignore it. He applies br akes so hard and the train stops just a few yards away from the couple. Driver j umps from the engine and walks to the boy who just finished and is standing up a nd zipping up his pants. The driver shouts out to the boy, "Do you realize that if I had not seen you, th is would have been ur last f**ck?!!!" The Boy replied, "Listen dude, you were coming... She was cuming.... and I was c uming.... then I realised... only You had Brakes! Miscellaneous Sex Terminology! Lips - Start of sex. Nipples - Bite of Sex. Boobs - Shape of sex. Penis - Length of sex. Pussy- Depth of sex. Ass - Back door entry of sex. Nudity - Invitation of sex. Fuck - Xperience of sex. Suck - Taste of sex. Masturbation -Substitute of sex. Condom - Safety of sex. Sperm - Cream of sex. Ejaculation - End of sex. Prostitute - Machine of sex. Marriage - License of sex.

Periods - Having Rest from sex. Pregnancy - Proof of sex. Child - Result of Sex. HAVE SEXY Winters!!! Miscellaneous Male Anatomy!!! A woman was on the way to winning $100,000 on a game show, but her final questio n was suspended for the next night. Her husband sneaked into the studio and foun d the question and answer. He raced home and told his wife, "Your question is 'What are the three main part s of the male anatomy', and the answer is 'The head, heart and penis.' The woman thinks about this throughout the night, but keeps forgetting the answe r. Her husband keeps reminding her, "The head, heart and penis." Come the game show she has forgotten again, and the presenter asks, "For $100,00 0, what are the three main parts of the male anatomy? You have ten seconds." "Um... the head." "Good. Eight seconds." "Um... the heart." "That's right. Five seconds." "Oh... um... damn. My husband drilled it into me last night and I had it on the tip of my tongue this morning..." "That's close enough! You've won $100,000!" Miscellaneous Alok Nath Ke Sanskaar Teacher to Alok Nath: Wo kya hai jo COW ke paas chaar aur mere paass 2 hain? Alok Nath: Madam, Legs. Mam: Wo kya hai jo tumhare PANT mein hai aur mere peticoat mein nahin? Alok Nath: Ji, Pocket. Mam: Wo kya hai jo din mein lene ke bajay raat ko bistar pe lte hain? Alok Nath: Ji, Neend. Mam: Wo kya hai jo LADKI 1st time karwane par jor se chillati hai. Alok Nath: Kaan mein ched. Mam: Wo kya hai jiske aadha jaane par dard hota hai par pura jaane par achcha la gta hai? Alok Nath: Haathon mein Kangan. Mam: Wo kya hai jiske paas ho to haath mein pakad kar hilata hai, aur jiske paas na ho toh ongli daal kar hilata hai?Hai. Alok Nath: TOOTH BRUSH.

Ye Hote Hai Sanskaar... BC Hinglish Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 49 50 Next SMS Picture SMS Jokes Cartoons SMS Picture SMS Jokes Cartoons FaceBook Covers Hindi SMS Hindi PicSMS Hindi Jokes ????? SMS ????? PicSMS ????? ??????? Hindi Cartoons Hindi FaceBook Covers Quotes Picture Quotes Hindi Quotes Hindi PicQuotes Quotes Picture Quotes ????? ????? PicQuotes Shayari Shayari PICSMS Hindi Shayari Hindi PICSMS Shayari Shayari PICSMS ????? ????? ????? ????? PICSMS Trivia / Facts Trivia PICSMS Graffiti Graffiti PICSMS Trivia / Facts Trivia PICSMS Graffiti Graffiti PICSMS Quotes Tell him I've been too fucking busy - or vice versa. ~ Dorothy Parker Trivia Homosexuality was still classified as an illness in Sweden in 1979. Swedes prote sted by calling in sick to work, claiming they felt gay. Graffiti Celibacy is not hereditary. Restricted Jokes by Santa Banta Categories Animal Kingdom Bar Blondes Celebrities Children Communities Computer and Technology Doctors Golf Hinglish Lawyers Little Johnny Marriage Miscellaneous News and Politics Pappu Religion SantaBanta Sports ADVERTISEPRIVACY POLICYABOUTTERMS

Home Bollywood Hollywood Videos Games Jokes SMS Quotes Gallery Forum Wallpapers SantaBanta Marriage Bar Doctors Lawyers Religion Children Restricted Jokes Page 4 New Random Restricted Jokes > Restricted Jokes Page: 4 Revenge Danny discovers his wife is cheating with another guy, so he goes to the guy's w ife and tells her about it. "I know what we will do," she says. "Let's take revenge on them." So they go to a motel and take revenge. After 10 mins, she says, "Let's take more revenge," and they take revenge again. So like this, they kept taking more & more revenge... After 5 times, Danny was lying spent, and she said, "Lets take revenge again." D anny said,"I cant... I have no more hard feelings left !!!!" Marriage Aam Admi's Aam Underwear! Latest News: Arvind Kejriwal has stopped wearing his underwears bcoz... He can't wear VIP underwears as they have VIP written on them. He can't wear Rupa since people would say he always keeps Rupa around his privat e parts, and in Delhi that's a dangerous thing to do. Or Jockey as horse riding is a rich man's pastime. He can't wear Macroman since he is a common man. He can't wear Dixcy since he does not want people to see his d*** And he can't go commando since he has refused security. So now all he needs is cover his private parts with mango leaves to prove that h e is a "aam" admi and his protection is the aam. News and Politics Love and Sex! Once a professor asked his students to use 'Love' and 'Sex' in a sentence. Girls wrote: When mutual understanding between a boy and a girl increases so much that they c an't live without each other, implies they are in "love" and when this love reac

hes extreme such that both feel bodily same, they engage themselves in a body to body pleasureful combat that we call 'Sex' ! Boys wrote: I Love Sex. Miscellaneous Pasteurized Milk A blonde heard that baths in milk would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman Dave to leave 25 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. Dave thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarif y the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your not e asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?" The blonde said, "No, I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look you ng and beautiful again." David the milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?" The blonde said, "No, just up to my tits. I can just splash it on my eyes." Blondes Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 49 50 Next SMS Picture SMS Jokes Cartoons SMS Picture SMS Jokes Cartoons FaceBook Covers Hindi SMS Hindi PicSMS Hindi Jokes ????? SMS ????? PicSMS ????? ??????? Hindi Cartoons Hindi FaceBook Covers Quotes Picture Quotes Hindi Quotes Hindi PicQuotes Quotes Picture Quotes ????? ????? PicQuotes Shayari Shayari PICSMS Hindi Shayari Hindi PICSMS Shayari Shayari PICSMS ????? ????? ????? ????? PICSMS Trivia / Facts Trivia PICSMS Graffiti Graffiti PICSMS Trivia / Facts Trivia PICSMS Graffiti Graffiti PICSMS Quotes My wife and I are not sexually compatible. When I want oral, she wants sex. ~ JD Ghai Trivia The world's most expensive porn film to date is "Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge ", which cost $8,000,000 and ran 138 minutes.

Graffiti It's only premarital sex if you're going to get married. Restricted Jokes by Santa Banta Categories Animal Kingdom Bar Blondes Celebrities Children Communities Computer and Technology Doctors Golf Hinglish Lawyers Little Johnny Marriage Miscellaneous News and Politics Pappu Religion SantaBanta Sports ADVERTISEPRIVACY POLICYABOUTTERMS

Home Bollywood Hollywood Videos Games Jokes SMS Quotes Gallery Forum Wallpapers SantaBanta Marriage Bar Doctors Lawyers Religion Children Restricted Jokes Page 5 New Random Restricted Jokes > Restricted Jokes Page: 5 Cheapest Contraceptive! Santa bada dukhi sa hokar apne ek khaas Doctor dost ke pass jata hai aur apni sa masya batata hai. Santa: Yaar, koi sasta tareeka batao pregnency rokne ka. Doctor: Condom lo. Santa: Mahanga hai. Doctor: Mala D lo. Santa: Ye bhi mahangi hai. Doctor: Nasbandi karwa lo. Santa: Ye bhi kaafi mehnga hai.

Doctor, Gusse Se: Abe kamine, kanjoos kahnin ke, tum apni wife ke saath sex karn a band kyun nahin kar dete? Santa: Ye tarika toh paanch saal se try kar raha hoon phir bhi meri biwi pregnen t ho jati hai. Hinglish Kinds of Sex! Research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex. The 1st kind of sex is called: Smu rf Sex. This kind Of sex happens when you first meet someone, and you have sex u ntil you are blue in the face. The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a short time, and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even In the kitchen. The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. You still have sex, occasionally and if you do, you on ly have it in your bedroom. The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex. This is When you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say, 'F* ** you.' The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex. Which means you get Nun in the mor ning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun At night. (Very Popular) The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex. This is when you cannot stand your wife/ h usband any more. He/she takes you to court and screws you in front of Everyone. And; last, but not least, The 7th kind of sex is called: Pension Sex. You get a little each month, ut not enough to enjoy yourself. Miscellaneous Calorie Burning Tips Calorie Burning tips for those trying to lose weight: REMOVING HER CLOTHES: With her consent.................................12 Calories Without her consent.......................2187 Calories OPENING HER BRA: With both hands...................................8 Calories With one hand....................................12 Calories With your teeth.................................485 Calories PUTTING ON A CONDOM: With an erection..................................6 Calories Without an erection......................3315 Calories POSITIONS: Missionary.......................................1 2 Calories 69 lying down..................................78 Calories 69 standing up..............................812 Calories Wheelbarrow.................................216 Calories Doggy Style...................................326 Calories Italian chandelier........................ 2912 Calories ORGASMS: Real............................................11 2 Calories

Fake.........................................1315 Calories POST ORGASM: Lying in bed hugging........................................... ......18 Calorie s Getting up immediately....................................... ......36 Calories Explaining why you got out of bed immediately......816 Calories GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are: 20-29 years........................................36 Calories 30-39 years........................................80 Calories 40-49 years......................................124 Calories 50-59 years....................................1972 Calories 60-69 years...................................7916 Calories 70 and over........................Results are still pending. DRESSING AFTERWARDS: Calmly................................................................32 Calorie s In a hurry............................................. ................98 Calor ies With her father knocking at the door...........5218 Calories With your wife knocking at the door.........13,521 Calories Results may vary. Miscellaneous Putting Your Affairs in Order The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, "I've got some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order." The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting. "Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. So, le t's head to the club and have a martini." After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were som e laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were cur ious as to what the two were celebrating. The woman told her friends they were d rinking to her impending end. "I've been diagnosed with AIDS." The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty retre at. After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, "Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that?" "Because I don't want any of those... sleeping with your father after I'm gone." And THAT, my friends, is called, "Putting Your Affairs in Order." Marriage Prev 1 2

3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 49 50 Next SMS Picture SMS Jokes Cartoons SMS Picture SMS Jokes Cartoons FaceBook Covers Hindi SMS Hindi PicSMS Hindi Jokes ????? SMS ????? PicSMS ????? ??????? Hindi Cartoons Hindi FaceBook Covers Quotes Picture Quotes Hindi Quotes Hindi PicQuotes Quotes Picture Quotes ????? ????? PicQuotes Shayari Shayari PICSMS Hindi Shayari Hindi PICSMS Shayari Shayari PICSMS ????? ????? ????? ????? PICSMS Trivia / Facts Trivia PICSMS Graffiti Graffiti PICSMS Trivia / Facts Trivia PICSMS Graffiti Graffiti PICSMS Quotes My wife and I are not sexually compatible. When I want oral, she wants sex. ~ JD Ghai Trivia Homosexuality was still classified as an illness in Sweden in 1979. Swedes prote sted by calling in sick to work, claiming they felt gay. Graffiti Celibacy is not hereditary. Restricted Jokes by Santa Banta Categories Animal Kingdom Bar Blondes Celebrities Children Communities Computer and Technology Doctors Golf Hinglish Lawyers Little Johnny Marriage Miscellaneous News and Politics Pappu Religion SantaBanta Sports ADVERTISEPRIVACY POLICYABOUTTERMS

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Bar Doctors Lawyers Religion Children Restricted Jokes Page 6 New Random Restricted Jokes > Restricted Jokes Page: 6 50 Years of Sex! Maurice and Hetty were approaching their Golden wedding anniversary. One summer evening, as they were taking a slow walk in their local park, Hetty s uddenly takes her walking stick and hits Maurice hard across his back with it. "What on earth did you do that for? It really hurts." he shouts at her. Hetty replies, "That's for 50 years of poor sex." Maurice thinks for a while and then takes his walking stick and hits Hetty hard across her tuchus with it. "Ouch," she screams. "What was that for?" Maurice looks at her and replies, "That's for knowing the difference." Marriage My Schnauzer My neighbor found out that her dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ear s. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine. The vet then proceede d to tell the lady that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should g o to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears onc e a month. The lady went to the store and bought some "Nair" hair remover. At the register, the pharmacist told her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't us e deodorant for a few days." The lady said, "I'm not using it under my arms." The pharmacist said, "If you're using it on your legs, don't shave for a couple of days." The lady replied, "I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I'm usi ng it on my Schnauzer." The pharmacist says, "Well stay off your bicycle for about a week." Miscellaneous Uncomfortable Feeling! Ek bahut hi khubsoorat and sexy ladki doctor ke pass gayi aur boli: Doctor sahab mnere ko ajeeb si beemari hai. Doctor: Kya? Ladki: Main jab bhi cigarette peeti hun toh bada uncomfortable feel karti hun. E

k ajeeb si baichaini hoti hai. Jab mein pehla kash leti hoon toh apne shoes utaa r deti hun, dusre kash mein socks, teesre kash mein shirt utaar deti hun, fourth kash mein apna lower, aur........ Doctor beech mein usko tokte hue bola: Mujhe kuch samajh nahi aa raha, ek kaam k aro ye lo cigarette ka packet aur aaram se pee kar batao. Hinglish The Sensuous Wife! With a very seductive voice the woman asked her husband, "Have you ever seen Pou nd 20 all crumpled up?" "No," said her husband. She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top 3 or 4 buttons of her blous e, and slowly reached down into the cleavage created by a soft, silky push-up br a, and pulled out a crumpled twenty pound note. He took the crumpled twenty poun d note from her and smiled approvingly. She then asked him, "Have you ever seen Pound 50 all crumpled up?" "Uh... no, I haven't," he said, with an anxious tone in his voice. She gave him another sexy little smile, pulled up her skirt, and seductively rea ched into her tight, sheer panties... and pulled out a crumpled fifty pound note . He took the crumpled fifty pound note, and started breathing a little quicker with anticipation. "Now," she said, "have you ever seen Pound 50,000 all crumpled up?" "No way!" he said, while obviously becoming even more aroused and excited. "Well go look in the garage," she said. Marriage Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 49 50 Next SMS Picture SMS Jokes Cartoons SMS Picture SMS Jokes Cartoons FaceBook Covers Hindi SMS Hindi PicSMS Hindi Jokes ????? SMS ????? PicSMS ????? ??????? Hindi Cartoons Hindi FaceBook Covers Quotes Picture Quotes Hindi Quotes Hindi PicQuotes Quotes Picture Quotes ????? ????? PicQuotes Shayari Shayari PICSMS Hindi Shayari Hindi PICSMS Shayari Shayari PICSMS ????? ????? ????? ????? PICSMS Trivia / Facts Trivia PICSMS Graffiti Graffiti PICSMS

Trivia / Facts Trivia PICSMS Graffiti Graffiti PICSMS Quotes My wife and I are not sexually compatible. When I want oral, she wants sex. ~ JD Ghai Trivia The world's most expensive porn film to date is "Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge ", which cost $8,000,000 and ran 138 minutes. Graffiti Sex is the poor man's Polo. Restricted Jokes by Santa Banta Categories Animal Kingdom Bar Blondes Celebrities Children Communities Home Bollywood Hollywood Videos Games Jokes SMS Quotes Gallery Forum Wallpapers SantaBanta Marriage Bar Doctors Lawyers Religion Children Restricted Jokes Page 6 New Random Restricted Jokes > Restricted Jokes Page: 6 50 Years of Sex! Maurice and Hetty were approaching their Golden wedding anniversary. One summer evening, as they were taking a slow walk in their local park, Hetty s uddenly takes her walking stick and hits Maurice hard across his back with it. "What on earth did you do that for? It really hurts." he shouts at her. Hetty replies, "That's for 50 years of poor sex." Maurice thinks for a while and then takes his walking stick and hits Hetty hard across her tuchus with it. "Ouch," she screams. "What was that for?" Maurice looks at her and replies, "That's for knowing the difference." Marriage My Schnauzer My neighbor found out that her dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ear s. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine. The vet then proceede d to tell the lady that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should g o to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears onc e a month.

The lady went to the store and bought some "Nair" hair remover. At the register, the pharmacist told her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't us e deodorant for a few days." The lady said, "I'm not using it under my arms." The pharmacist said, "If you're using it on your legs, don't shave for a couple of days." The lady replied, "I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I'm usi ng it on my Schnauzer." The pharmacist says, "Well stay off your bicycle for about a week." Miscellaneous Uncomfortable Feeling! Ek bahut hi khubsoorat and sexy ladki doctor ke pass gayi aur boli: Doctor sahab mnere ko ajeeb si beemari hai. Doctor: Kya? Ladki: Main jab bhi cigarette peeti hun toh bada uncomfortable feel karti hun. E k ajeeb si baichaini hoti hai. Jab mein pehla kash leti hoon toh apne shoes utaa r deti hun, dusre kash mein socks, teesre kash mein shirt utaar deti hun, fourth kash mein apna lower, aur........ Doctor beech mein usko tokte hue bola: Mujhe kuch samajh nahi aa raha, ek kaam k aro ye lo cigarette ka packet aur aaram se pee kar batao. Hinglish The Sensuous Wife! With a very seductive voice the woman asked her husband, "Have you ever seen Pou nd 20 all crumpled up?" "No," said her husband. She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top 3 or 4 buttons of her blous e, and slowly reached down into the cleavage created by a soft, silky push-up br a, and pulled out a crumpled twenty pound note. He took the crumpled twenty poun d note from her and smiled approvingly. She then asked him, "Have you ever seen Pound 50 all crumpled up?" "Uh... no, I haven't," he said, with an anxious tone in his voice. She gave him another sexy little smile, pulled up her skirt, and seductively rea ched into her tight, sheer panties... and pulled out a crumpled fifty pound note . He took the crumpled fifty pound note, and started breathing a little quicker with anticipation. "Now," she said, "have you ever seen Pound 50,000 all crumpled up?" "No way!" he said, while obviously becoming even more aroused and excited. "Well go look in the garage," she said. Marriage Prev 1

2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 49 50 Next SMS Picture SMS Jokes Cartoons SMS Picture SMS Jokes Cartoons FaceBook Covers Hindi SMS Hindi PicSMS Hindi Jokes ????? SMS ????? PicSMS ????? ??????? Hindi Cartoons Hindi FaceBook Covers Quotes Picture Quotes Hindi Quotes Hindi PicQuotes Quotes Picture Quotes ????? ????? PicQuotes Shayari Shayari PICSMS Hindi Shayari Hindi PICSMS Shayari Shayari PICSMS ????? ????? ????? ????? PICSMS Trivia / Facts Trivia PICSMS Graffiti Graffiti PICSMS Trivia / Facts Trivia PICSMS Graffiti Graffiti PICSMS Quotes My wife and I are not sexually compatible. When I want oral, she wants sex. ~ JD Ghai Trivia The world's most expensive porn film to date is "Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge ", which cost $8,000,000 and ran 138 minutes. Graffiti Sex is the poor man's Polo. Restricted Jokes by Santa Banta Categories Animal Kingdom Bar Blondes Celebrities Children Communities Computer and Technology Doctors Golf Hinglish Lawyers Little Johnny Marriage Miscellaneous News and Politics Pappu Religion SantaBanta Sports ADVERTISEPRIVACY POLICYABOUTTERMS Computer and Technology Doctors Golf Hinglish Lawyers

Little Johnny Marriage Miscellaneous News and Politics Pappu Religion SantaBanta Sports ADVERTISEPRIVACY POLICYABOUTTERMS